Strategies: Guide conflict resolution, teach emotional vocabulary. Calmly intervene, name emotions, guide a solution (e.g., “You both feel angry. Let’s take turns being leader”).

Two kids (Dan and Josh), shoving each other to be line leader. Teacher says, “Stop, let’s breathe. Dan, you feel mad because you want to be first? Josh, are you angry because you also want to be line leader? Let’s use our peace table. Dan leads in the morning, Josh leads in the afternoon.”

Outcome: Kids agree, learn to name feelings and compromise.

Michelle

Strategies: get to eye level, emotion check in, calm chat, explanation about situation, guidance to next activity.

Child(Anna) doesn't want to clean up her toys and throws them around. She starts crying and screaming.

Teacher calmly goes to Anna and sits down with her at eye level. 'How are you feeling Anna? are you sad or angry?' Do you need a hug?' Calm explanation about the next activity/situation. ' lets go together, let's pick up the toys, clean up and we go to the next activity'

outcome: Anna has regulated her emotions with guidance. toys are cleaned up and Anna can move on to the next activity with guidance

Bo

Yellow Level: Give a warning to remind about social expectations

Orange Level: Separate the children gently until they are calm. Assess situation by asking questions. Listen. Help the children understand each other's feelings. Guide/offer solutions to learn to make better decisions in the future. 

Red Level: Give one or two specific consequences if the child decides to challenge the teacher. Believe in their ability to make positive changes. 

Sherley

Strategies: Stay calm, use a supportive tone, name emotions, offer choices, empathy and connection.

- Teacher (calm voice, kneeling beside Davis): Hey Davis, sounds like you’re having a tough moment. Can you tell me what’s going on ?

- Davis: I just don’t want to do it. It’s boring

- Teacher: It’s okay to feel that way. Everyone feels frustrated sometimes. Are you feeling bored, tired, or maybe stuck ?

- Davis (shrugs): I don’t know... maybe stuck

- Teacher: Thanks for sharing that. That’s honest. Would it help if we looked at the first sentence together, and then you try the next one ? Or would you like a 2-minute break first ?

- Davis: Break first

- Teacher: Sounds good. Take a quick break, then come back and we’ll get through it together. You’ve got this.

Outcome: Davis learns to pause and express frustration instead of reacting negatively. He feels heard and supported, making future conflicts easier to navigate.

Hương VNese

I try to find out the reasons.

First, I try to understand if the child refuses to do all or just specific activities. For example, some students don't want to participate in sensory lessons because they don't want to be dirty.

The second I try to find out, do students know exactly how to do it?

For example, some kids refuse to put on their shoes because they don't know how to do it.

And the last one, maybe this child needs specific directions. I have a student in my class who, when I ask to tidy up, never does it, but if I say, pick up the toys, he does.

Lana

⸻

When two children are shoving and arguing over who gets to be in line first, I would guide them using SEL by

-first helping them recognize and name their emotions.

I might say, “It seems like both of you are feeling upset because you really want to be first. Can you each tell me how you’re feeling?”

-Next, I would support them in calming down and self-regulating.

I would encourage, “Let’s both take a few deep breaths together so we can feel more calm before we solve the problem.”

-Finally, I would guide them in using empathy and problem-solving skills.

I would ask, “Can you think of a fair way to take turns or decide together? Maybe one of you can go first today and the other tomorrow. How would you feel if you were in your friend’s position?”

This way, they learn to manage their emotions, understand others’ feelings, and work towards peaceful solutions.

Moon

For example, is he refusing sensory activities or messy art? Perhaps this is a sensory processing issue. Is he refusing to tidy up? Maybe he struggles with transitioning between activities and could benefit from warnings (five more minutes to play!) Is he refusing self-care activities? Maybe I need to take time to teach these skills (I suspect many of our students have nannies who do many things for them.)

The most helpful step, though, regardless of the reason, is to build a firm relationship with this student. If I take the time to play or engage in a preferred activity with this child and demonstrate respect for him, he will be more inclined to do a non-preferred activity and demonstrate respect towards me.

(Corrie)

The focus should be on helping them recognize their emotions, understand others' perspectives, and resolve conflicts constructively.

1. Stay Calm and Set the Tone

“Let’s take a deep breath and step apart. We can solve this together.”

2. Name and Validate Emotions

Help them label what they’re feeling:

“It looks like both of you are feeling really upset and frustrated. Is that right?”

This promotes emotional awareness and helps them feel heard.

3. Encourage Perspective-Taking

Ask each child to share what happened without interruption:

“Can you tell me what happened, one at a time, so we can figure it out together?”

Then paraphrase what each said to show understanding and model empathy:

“So, you were excited to be first because you didn’t get to yesterday, and you felt pushed aside. And you felt it wasn’t fair because you were already there. I see why you’re both upset.”

4. Guide Toward Problem Solving

Ask open-ended questions to promote collaboration:

“What can we do to make this fair for both of you?”

Facilitate solutions like taking turns, using a timer, or alternating days.

5. Reinforce SEL Skills

After resolving:

“You both did a great job listening and solving the problem together. How did it feel to work it out?”

This helps reinforce self-regulation, empathy, and responsible decision-making.

Laura

1. Acknowledge Feelings

Show empathy:

“It sounds like you’re frustrated right now. That’s okay. Let’s work through it together.”

Validating feelings helps the child feel heard.

2. Offer Limited Choices

Give the child a sense of control:

“You can choose to start with the worksheet or the reading activity. Which would you prefer?”

3. Use Clear, Positive Language

Instead of “You have to do this,” try:

“When you finish this, you’ll have time for your preferred activity.”

Nguyen Thi Hang

In case a child is angry, throws toys, screams. You can handle it by following these steps:

1. Stay calm and do not react negatively: To avoid making the situation more tense, you need to stay calm, do not get angry or overreact to the child's actions.

2. Guide children to recognize emotions: Help children understand that angry feelings are normal but need to learn to control. You can breathe and count to 10 or ask How do you feel? What do you want to do when you are angry?"

3. Explain the reason and set limits: Explain why cleaning is necessary and emphasize that throwing things or yelling is not acceptable, but at the same time encourage your child to express his or her feelings in more appropriate ways.

4. Encourage positive actions: Once your child has calmed down, guide your child to clean up or express his or her feelings verbally. For example: "You can tell me/Dad that you don't like cleaning, but you can do it quietly or call for help.

5. Monitor and maintain discipline: Regularly create clear rules of behavior that help your child know the limits and feel safe.

* Note that being patient, calm, and consistent in your handling will help your child learn to control his or her emotions and behave more appropriately in the future.

PHAM BACH MY HAN

1. Stay Calm and Regulate Yourself:

Before addressing the child, keep your own tone calm and firm. Children mirror adult emotions — if you show anger or frustration, it can escalate their behavior.

2. Acknowledge Their Emotion:

Show empathy first. You might say, “I see you’re really upset right now. It’s hard when playtime is over.”

This helps the child feel seen and heard, lowering their emotional defenses.

3. Set Clear, Kind Limits:

After acknowledging feelings, calmly reinforce expectations:

“It’s okay to feel angry, but it’s not okay to throw toys. Toys are for playing, not throwing.”

4. Teach Alternative Ways to Express Feelings:

Offer a choice or a simple strategy:

“If you’re mad, you can stomp your feet or squeeze a pillow. Let’s do that instead of throwing.”

5. Guide Toward Problem-Solving:

Once they are calmer, involve them in fixing the situation:

“Let’s work together to tidy up the toys. Do you want to pick up the blocks first or the cars?”

Giving a choice can help the child feel a sense of control.

6. Reflect Later:

When the child is fully calm, talk about it in a low-pressure way:

“Next time you feel mad, what could you do instead of throwing?”

Practicing emotional vocabulary (“angry,” “frustrated,” “disappointed”) is key for future situations.

Huynh Thi Ngoc Ha

First, you must stay calm by taking deep breaths. Because your reaction will affect how your child cools down. Keep your voice soft and approach your child and ask about his feelings: "Are you okay?" "Are you sad or angry?" ... and listen to what he says without interrupting or judging. Confirm that you understand why your child is angry and explain to him that after playing with toys, he needs to clean up before starting another game.

Bui Thi Tuyet Phuong.

- Calmly move the child and others to a safe space: “I can see you're very upset. Let's go somewhere quiet so no one gets hurt.”

- Keep your tone calm and non-threatening. Stay nearby to provide emotional support without escalating the situation.

2. Acknowledge and Name the Emotion

-Once the child begins to calm: “You seem really angry. That’s okay — it’s normal to feel angry sometimes. Let’s talk about it.”

-Use an emotion chart or picture cards to help the child identify how they feel.

3. Teach Coping Strategies

-Once regulated, introduce tools to express anger safely:

• “When I’m mad, I can…”

  • Squeeze a stress ball

  • Take 3 deep breaths

  • Stomp my feet quietly

  • Draw a picture of my feelings

- Practice these strategies during calm times, not in the moment of crisis.

4. Reflect and Problem-Solve Together

-After the child is fully calm: “What happened? What could we do next time when we feel that way?”

-Offer guided choices: “Next time you're upset, would you like to ask for help or take a break?”

5. Practice Tidy-Up Transitions

-Make cleanup feel more predictable and fun:

• Use a visual timer or clean-up song

• Give transition warnings: “In 2 minutes, it will be time to clean up.”

• Let the child be a “clean-up helper” with a specific role

6. Reinforce Positive Behavior

-Acknowledge any effort to calm down or tidy: "You used your calm-down breath and put the blocks away — that was great problem-solving!”

(Ngân)

Strategies: Name emotions, explain with calm tone, set the limit, encourage and guidance to next activies.

1. Identify emotions. "Can you tell me why do you angry?"

2. Explain and ask the child how they would feel if the toys were taken away when they no longer clean up,because the toys are messy and broken There would be nothing left to play with.

3. If the child hesitates or still cries, set a limit by counting down the time.

4. Encourage the child guidance to next activies.

(MiA)

When your child said " I don't want " and " I don't care "

• you should immediately stop the request in stead of forcing children to to something.

• The teacher calmly walked down to get child sit down to calm down for a few minutes.

• When the child is really comfortable, you will ask " what happens to you or you are not ready to do it " and listen to the child's answer why the child says that.

• Teacher will understand then slowly explain why the teacher asks to do it so that your child can understand what the purpose is for.

• And clearly indicate that children should not say that instead of disagreeing or not ready to do anything, please come and share with the teacher.

• Clearing conversation , teacher will ask them again and encourage the child to try .

Analyzing and listening to children's opinions is also an easy way to teachers and children to interact more with each other.

THAO KIM

When the child said " I don't want " and " I don't care "

• Teacher can immediately stop to request instead of forcing the child to do it .

• The teacher will come and sit next to the child in a corner to let the child calm down for a few minutes.

• When the child is really comfortable ,You will gently ask " tell me what happen" or "you are not ready to do it" to find out the reason and listen to the child's answer.

• when teacher understand the problem can slowly explain why the teacher asked to do it so the child can know what the purpose is for.

• And clearly indicate that children should not say " don't want " or " don't care " instead of disagreeing or not ready please come and share with us .

• The teacher may be gently ask to do something again and encourage the child to try.

  Analyzing and listening to children's opinion is also an easy way to teachers and children to understand each other.

  THAO KIM

In Scenario A, where two children are shoving and arguing over who gets to be first in line, here’s how you might respond using a calm, restorative approach that promotes emotional regulation and fairness:

Adult Response (Calm, Firm, Supportive):
"Whoa, let’s take a step back. I see you're both really upset about wanting to be first. Pushing and yelling isn’t safe or fair. Let’s take a deep breath and talk about it."

(Pause to give them a moment to calm down.)
"Can one of you explain what happened without interrupting each other? Then we’ll figure out a fair solution together."

(Minh Anh)

when scenario A happens, I listen to you two tell me the reason why you two push each other and argue, then I will talk to you two, first we have to calm down, and I will have a solution for you two: 
- if one of you two answers that person A is in front of person B and person B accepts, then there is no problem and we are happy. 
- if neither of you is willing to give in, then I have this idea: now in the morning person A is in front, in the afternoon person B is in front < maybe scenario A happens in the afternoon, one person is first and tomorrow it is the other person > then both of you happily share and become good friends with each other
sim

Listen and find out why your child is behaving like that. Then, there needs to be a demonstration to explain to your child what should and should not be done, because children are at an age where they do not know right from wrong, they are in the process of learning, so they need guidance and support from adults. Here are some things to do:

•Use encouragement instead of orders.

•Patiently observe and guide your child.

•Set clear rules, rewards and punishments.

•Avoid using negative words with your child.

•Give your child many choices, do not impose too much.

•Make friends with your child

Only then will everything become easier.

Ni

Scenario C: A child repeatedly said “I don’t want” and “I don’t care” when being asked to do something by the teacher.

1. Stay Calm

2. Connect First

3. Validate Feelings

4. Offer Choices

5. Teach Respectful Words

6. Reflect Later
   

Hazel here :")

Two children are shoving each other, arguing loudly over who gets to be in the line first

When two children are shoving and arguing loudly about who gets to be first in line, it's important to intervene calmly and assertively to ensure everyone's safety and teach respectful behavior. Here's how you might handle it:

1. Separate and Calm: Step in and separate the children physically but gently. Use a calm, firm voice:

“I see you’re both upset. Let’s take a moment to calm down.”

2. Address Safety First:

“We don’t push or yell. That’s not safe or respectful.”

3. Listen Briefly: Once they're calmer, allow each child a quick chance to explain.

“Can you each tell me what happened, one at a time?”

4. Enforce Fairness: Depending on context, you could assign turns, use a neutral method (like a coin toss), or reinforce an existing rule (like alphabetical order or rotating leaders).

“We take turns fairly here. Today, you go first, and next time it’s your turn.”

5. Teach and Move On:

“Next time, use your words. If you can’t agree, ask your teachers to help you. Let’s line up now.”

(Yvonne)

Firstly, I keep my calm and I wouldn’t take the thrown toys personally.

Secondly, seeing tantrums as an emotional overload feeling of a child. Give the child time to calm and reduce his/her angry.

Thirdly, I make sure that orther children and toys are safe, not hurt or nothing will get broken. Move the toys or, if possible, move the child.

Finally, after the tantrum has passed, I will talk to the child, tell a story or ask questions, through these activities I want to teach the child about respect our property (in this situation is toys), how to calm ourselves in a angry, the consequence of demage things could hurt yourself and other people.

Encourge the child to come, pick up the thrown toys and tidy up.

(Tam Bui)

In case two children push and argue because of queuing, you can handle it as follows:

1. Be gentle and calm: Keep a calm attitude so as not to make the situation more tense. Speak softly and clearly so that the children understand.

2. Determine right and wrong: Emphasize that pushing and arguing is wrong, we need to learn how to share and give in.

3. Guide the right behavior: Encourage the children to talk to each other, suggest peaceful solutions such as taking turns, or giving in a little.

4. Teach emotional self-control skills: Encourage the children to take a deep breath, calm down, and think before reacting.

If the situation is still tense or the children are too agitated, you can separate them a bit, let everyone rest, and then slowly explain again in a gentle way.

Nguyễn Thị Thùy Linh

I would go down to a child's eyes level and say:" Oh, it is so fun to play with toys right? Is this one your favorite? ..... It is such a nice toy!

You wanna play more, I know. So let's do it, but a bit later. Now it's time to go to canteen to have lunch, to make your tummy full and happy, yeah? And then we will surely play again together with your friends when it it is time to do so in our timetable."

Also my to-go strategy in the class is next: I take the clock from the wall and point to certain hours asking child " What do we do this time of a day?...." It always works as magic, as child is distracted by the big object in my hands, as well as he/she loves being asked about routine. It makes them feel ingaged and considered.

As a result they naturaly remind themselves about routine and accept the fact it's time to clean up.

Yuliia

• First, i'm going to calm them down by giving a gentle command : Now i'm going to count from 1 to 3, you and me will calm down, ok ^_^ ?

• After that, i will ask why you are arguing ? ( I have a little trick that is to distract them after they calmed down a bit .) I say : I am the first one today so I will be the first one in line .Then they will argue back saying I'm wrong, because one of them stood there first so he should stand first . Then I ask again : But just now there were two of you argued and fought to stand first. So what should we do now ? One of them said " just now you stood in front, I stood behind. Now you stand in front, I stand behind. Next time it will be my turn to stand in front ok? " . Then I asked them : You argued, so what are you going to do now ? Then they apologized to each other . Everyone is happy =(^.^)=

• I give them a different argument target but the same issue, they will learn how to think and make decisions for their friends and themselves .

TIEN HUYNH

1. Stay at children's eye level and grab their attention calmly (stop them from pushing each other if needed)

2. Calm them down: pat their backs/ask them to take a deep breath (self-management)

3. Self-awareness: Name their feelings ("How do you feel?" "Why?"/"You look upset/frustrated. Could you tell me why.")

4. Social awareness: Draw their attention to the other's emotion ("How about your friend?" "Is he/she happy?"-->"No." "Why not?") to seek sympathy/empathy

5. Responsible decision-making: Find solution ("What should we do?" "Use your words instead of pushing." "Say sorry." "Give your friend a hug.")

6. Sum up: "What will you do next time if...?"

   
   

   Tam Nguyen
   

To guide the children using Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) in Scenario A, where two children are shoving each other and arguing loudly over who gets to be in line first, you can start by calmly stepping in and using a soothing voice to de-escalate the situation. Help the children identify and express their emotions by asking them how they feel and validating their feelings, such as acknowledging their frustration. Encourage them to communicate their perspectives and brainstorm solutions together, promoting empathy by asking them to imagine how the other feels and discussing the impact of their actions. Model positive behavior by demonstrating patience and taking turns, and praise them when they show cooperation. Follow up later to reflect on the situation and reinforce the learning, encouraging them to use these strategies in future conflicts. This approach helps children develop essential social and emotional skills that will benefit them in various situations. (Augusta)

• Gather all students attention first - use a familiar song or chant - "We will, we will listen" or "Stop, drop and listen" etc. Children will revert their attention and focus on the teacher.

• Let the 2 children who were fighting each have a turn to explain using their words, what happened and why they are arguing.

• Ask the children what we can do to solve the problem.. posing some positive suggestions such as "What do you think we can do to make it fair for all our friends?"

• Suggest starting a new system - What I personally do, is set up a Line Leader chart from day 1. I use ice-cream sticks with each child's name on and every day I choose a new line leader for the day. I also make a Line Leader name badge, which the line leader will wear for the day. This prevents any future arguing or fighting and works like a charm!!!!! :)

  -Ms.Erin-

Using Soft voice, calm tone, crouching to the child’s eye level

--> Recognize the emotion and use words to describe it

Say, “Oh no, I see you’re feeling really upset right now. Your body is telling me something big is going on inside. It’s okay to feel mad, but it’s not okay to throw toys. Toys can get hurt, and people can get hurt too.”

--> Calm the child

Gives the child a moment to breathe

“Let’s take some big belly breaths together—ready? In... and out... That’s it.”

--> Explain that the action was not nice and encourage the child

After a few calming breaths

“I know it’s hard to stop playing when you’re having fun. It’s okay to feel frustrated. Would you like to choose a way to clean up—maybe pick up the blocks first or the animals? I can help you"

--> When the child is calm and is able to listen, explain what happened and what could the child have done better the next time he feels intense emotion.

(when the child is calm):

“You were really upset earlier. Next time, if you’re feeling mad, you can tell me with your words or use your calm-down tools, like your teddy or favorite toy in the class. What helps your body feel better when you're mad?”

This approach supports the child in recognizing emotions, expressing them safely, and building coping strategies.

--Jeng--