https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2022-10-21 17:27:33 UTC 2024-03-06 13:49:20 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f643.png 29mgibki https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2353718684 I think he did well showing the reader what he was feeling at that moment. He also described what he felt really well. My favorite was when he said “My hands turned into sharks biting the handle like they were fish.” Showing how scared he was. Another thing he did well was telling us what was going through his mind. Right before he went down his mind told him not to do it and to turn back. This helps the reader know what thoughts he had and what emotions he had during this moment. I think he could have expanded on the end a bit. He said “You never know until you try.” I think he could have added to that or made it more powerful.

]]> 2022-10-24 14:29:25 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2353718684 https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2486445509 One thing I liked about your introduction paragraph is that it was straight to the point. You didn't want early school. It was also clear why. Homework can take a while if the kid doesn't understand it and sports practices are pretty late. Another thing I liked was that I could picture all of it as I read. One thing you could do though is add more details. Although I could picture it as I read it lacked some details and I think you could make it better if you added some more.]]> 2023-02-17 15:12:08 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2486445509 29mgibki https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2523656202 One thing you did well was your 1st explanation. You explained how the evidence related to your theme and how it was important. Another thing you did well was your sum up. You ended it well and restated your theme but without copying the same thing that was in your claim. One thing you could work on was your 2nd explanation where I think you could have been a bit more detailed. ]]> 2023-03-20 14:18:27 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2523656202 29rcolville https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2523805269 hi darshan i enjoyed your word choice. How you said To explain in more detail this was a nice transition. I also liked how you said without question that was another good word choice. In addition I liked your title the Boundin. like how it reminded me of one of my favorite movies, the Batman. It also made me laugh. But if you had added the sum up in a different words. This would have made it so much better.]]> 2023-03-20 15:36:34 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2523805269 29bhalpern https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2524009003 Hi Darshan! A strength in your piece The Boundin was that you had lots of writing so there was lots of detail that convinced me into thinking your theme was the best theme. Another star for you is that you used strong word choise in you essay. It made it sound like you really had a strong opinion. One wish that I have is that the title did not seem to creative but that is all. Great job.]]> 2023-03-20 17:34:27 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2524009003 29ekeane https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2525482703 In your essay “the Boundin” one star was that your evidence is strong and truly shows what you mean and how you mean it. Your evidence also fits in great with your claim. Another star is deficiently your transitions ones like “to explain in great detail”, “to add on” and others are great transitions and are used at good moments. One star is that your title isn’t very unique and could be better.   ]]> 2023-03-21 14:21:49 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2525482703 https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2525895498 Hi darshan! I have a strength for your writing and it is the beginning of the explanation which says the “lamb used to have beautiful white fur and show it off to his neighbors who loved his dancing and would sometimes even join in. However, when a person shaves his wool off, his neighbors start to laugh at him. They said he looked ridiculous and weird without any fur so they made fun of him” which really tels the reader a good description of what he looked like and how people treated him. Another thing is how you say the “jackalope tells the lamb that he is still the same lamb as he was before. He still had a body, nice feet, and strong legs and tells him that looks don’t define who he is” This says why it should not matter what happens as long as you have a good positive attitude and not to be sad or angry.I do wish that you do say that the explanation that you should not put many people made fun of because of their looks wich isnt really needed.]]> 2023-03-21 18:26:25 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2525895498 29mgibki https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2533150028 One thing I liked about your timed paragraph was your sum up. I think you ended it really well like when  you said “In conclusion, the theme of how you shouldn’t judge someone just because they look different than everybody else is delivered amazingly” It tells the reader how important it is that they had to do it so amazingly because it was important.Another thing I liked about you timed paragraph was in your explanation when you mentioned how “They think that the bigger bird looks stupid because he doesn’t look like everyone else.” It shows how much they really judged the bird just because he was different. One thing I think you could I’m prove on though is adding more detailed word choice. Like instead of saying “They than walk farther away…” I would say something like “They scoot down the power line away from the bird” It would add more detail but over all is a really good paragraph.]]> 2023-03-27 13:56:40 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2533150028 https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2533165510 A strength of your theme analysis paragraph was that you said something different than everyone else, which was “In the end, they get karma.” It supports an interesting theory about this theme. In addition, you crafted a good sum up sentence. I liked “Delivered amazingly.” It was so different from what anyone else had done. However, you could work on delivering the theme differently in the second explanation because it would help it sound more diverse and without repetition.]]> 2023-03-27 14:06:01 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2533165510 29achan1 https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2534190565 hi Darshan.,One thing i liked is how you pointed out the smaller birds picking on the big bird. In addition, you gave two great examples of how the smaller birds were judging the big bird. But i saw that you should’ve deceased the repetition sentences though.]]> 2023-03-28 01:52:54 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2534190565 https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2534240972 Hey, Darshan! To begin, I Love all the detail and work you put into your peace even if you didn’t need to do it. I  love how you said “The smaller birds make fun of the bigger bird by taunting him and laughing at him.” In addition, you used extremely good evidence in your explanation of your paragraph. The way you explained your evidence was great and very well detailed as well as some great transitions throughout you explanation. However there was one thing I think you could have fixed wasby instead of saying “The theme is shown when the birds try to push the big bird off. They're doing everything to get rid of him.” You could replace it with “In the pixar short the theme is shown by the birds stopping at nothing to try and make sure the bigger bird will fall of the wire and leave them alone.”]]> 2023-03-28 02:27:34 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2534240972 https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2623677881 Hi Darshan! One thing I thought was great about your piece was the format of your slides. All of your slides looked very neat and they were easy to follow. Another thing that I thought was spectacular was how you described the history of Fortnite Battle Royal. It made a lot of sense and it was really descriptive. However, one thing I think you could have done a little better on is decorating your slides. You could have removed the background on  some images. Overall, great job Darshan.]]> 2023-06-14 18:13:19 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2623677881 https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2624321012 Hey Darshan! A strength from your piece to me was your intro. The way you explained it really got me interested and hooked onto it. You did a great job with the introduction. Another part about your slides that interested me was the work you put into finding all the facts needed to get others hooked onto your piece. This was really good job you put into this. One that could be improved on would be getting less blurry pictures but besides that I really liked your slides.]]> 2023-06-15 07:51:17 UTC https://padlet.com/29dsanchez/216f02qadzh018q/wish/2624321012