When Love Hurts - 18 Apr 2023 by TB https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije Discuss and write the responses to each question as a group en-us 2022-04-01 01:36:49 UTC 2023-04-18 01:53:19 UTC hello@padlet.com Checklist tanthiamboon1 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556306217 2023-04-17 03:28:47 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556306217 Your friend has been acting strangely recently, ever since his girlfriend and him were more serious about the relationship. He always needs to ask her if he can go out with you and whenever you manage to make plans with him, he will cancel with excuses. You notice that he has stopped talking to his friends, especially female friends, even the ones he has been friends with since primary school. Last week, you noticed some bruises on his arm during a PE lesson, and he told you some vague story about him getting hurt in a basketball game. Today, you saw a few more bruises and even scratches on his thigh which he couldn’t quite explain. You also feel that your friend is no longer the cheerful person he was, and he has withdrawn himself from his usual circle of friends. You ask him if there is anything wrong but he claims that everything is okay. tanthiamboon1 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556309286 2023-04-17 03:31:15 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556309286 You notice that your best friend has been posting very sad or moody posts on her social media and decide to ask her about it. She finally confides in you but tells you to keep it a secret. She is upset as her boyfriend makes fun and embarrasses her whenever her friends are around. He calls her names even though she does not like it and forces her to engage in physical intimacy with him. He threatens to break up with her or hurt her if he is not getting his way. She usually ends up in tears and he just laughs it off when she tries to talk to him about it, saying that she is just being sensitive. You worry about her safety and advised her to break up with her boyfriend. However, she feels that she should give him a chance to change. She also mentions how her parents do not know of this relationship and that her boyfriend knows where she stays and can easily find her if she avoids him. tanthiamboon1 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556309695 2023-04-17 03:31:38 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556309695 Your friend has been trying to break up with her boyfriend for weeks now as she feels that he is being overly controlling. However, every time she tells him that she wants to break up, he will get very upset and threaten to hurt himself. He also keeps calling and texting her in the middle of the night to convince her not to break up. Other friends have told her “Who cares? Just break up with him!” but she does care about him. After all, there were happy memories in this relationship. Your friend definitely wants to step away from this relationship, but at the same time, she does not want him to hurt himself. She feels trapped with her boyfriend because of his threats and his constant messages and calls. Your friend has not been sleeping well because of this and has difficulties concentrating in class. tanthiamboon1 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556309887 2023-04-17 03:31:51 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556309887 Your friend found out that he was accepted into the course of his choice for next year. He was very excited and told his family and friends the good news. Everyone, including his teachers, was proud of his achievement and encouraged him to go for it. However, when he told his girlfriend, she said, “I don’t know why you are getting so excited. I honestly don’t think you will do well there. And this course is so demanding, it is just going to take time away from us.” Your friend has not exactly been the best student in school, and he tried really hard for the past year to improve his grades. This was not the first time his girlfriend has discouraged him and made negative remarks on his academic abilities; sometimes she does so even in front of his friends. However, he wonders if his girlfriend is right because he believes that she knows him best. Recently, you notice that he is rather moody and has stopped talking about the course. When you ask him about it, he said he no longer has any interest in pursuing it, as he thinks he will not do well there anyway. tanthiamboon1 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556310138 2023-04-17 03:32:05 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556310138 tanthiamboon1 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556311531 2023-04-17 03:33:28 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2556311531 wong_peng_ngai https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557731008 A healthy relationship is where both sides truly loves each other and supports each other and cares for each other and bing chilling together]]> 2023-04-18 00:43:51 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557731008 U love the person for who they are and they love u back for who you are https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557731265 2023-04-18 00:44:04 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557731265 Smooches😮 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557731410 The healthiest relationship I’ve ever seen is Kelly and Amelie’s relationship frfr.

Smooch smooch👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩]]> 2023-04-18 00:44:07 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557731410 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557732417 A respectful and healthy relationship looks like both parties have a say within matters between them]]> 2023-04-18 00:44:26 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557732417 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557732468 Both parties want the best for each other and they know each other's boundaries ]]> 2023-04-18 00:44:29 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557732468 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557732622 “babe are you boots the house down slay”
“ugh you’re totally ruining my vibe”
“you’ve got no rizz 😍 anyway”]]> 2023-04-18 00:44:37 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557732622 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557732918 Mutual respect]]> 2023-04-18 00:44:51 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557732918 Gruuauauangys GRAAAAAH https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733071 Both sides do not expect gifts or returns EVERY anniversary, birthday, or valentine. Doesn’t mean none at all.]]> 2023-04-18 00:44:59 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733071 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733210 Boundaries and communication]]> 2023-04-18 00:45:06 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733210 Respect their boundaries and values https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733521 2023-04-18 00:45:22 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733521 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733543 Open communication, supporting each other’s ambition and opinions, loving them for who they are as a person, not forcing your opinion on your s/o, being there for them through good times and bad, trusting them enough to respect their opinions/decisions]]> 2023-04-18 00:45:22 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733543 Where one side is like I love you and the other side is like I love u too I think then they respect each other and buy each other gifts and then laugh at each others joke and then they comfort each other in tough times and they congratulate each other when one receives an accomplishment https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733869 2023-04-18 00:45:36 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733869 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733898 It is when both partners respect each others decision. And if they have different opinions, they should communicate with an open mind  ]]> 2023-04-18 00:45:37 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557733898 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734206 Respect their crime and restrictions

]]> 2023-04-18 00:45:52 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734206 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734296 Acknowledge their opinions and choices ]]> 2023-04-18 00:45:57 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734296 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734358 Both parties are able to accept each others conditions that do not cause any harm in any other forms. Such as destroying another friendship or distance from friends. They support and look out for each other, being able to bond and are strong together, even other people’s judgement do not affect their relationship]]> 2023-04-18 00:46:00 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734358 wong_peng_ngai https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734446 Respect and care for each other]]> 2023-04-18 00:46:05 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734446 Bing Bong Man #77689 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734522 Showing care and concern for each other.]]> 2023-04-18 00:46:09 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734522 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734618 Least of conflicts ]]> 2023-04-18 00:46:13 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734618 Caring https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734743 2023-04-18 00:46:18 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734743 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734843 Caring for one another]]> 2023-04-18 00:46:23 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734843 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734923 A healthy relationship is trusting and respecting each other ]]> 2023-04-18 00:46:26 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557734923 Friend Relationship loo_chee_hin_lucas https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557735134 A respective relationship is a relationship whereby both parties respect each other, share their joys and hardships with each other, and help each other （有难同当，有福同享）]]> 2023-04-18 00:46:36 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557735134 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557735259 “sorry im late”
“no worry homie fab check”
“pop off”
“i saw your finsta”
“why are you being sus”
“you’re being sus”]]> 2023-04-18 00:46:42 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557735259 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557735425 Being there for the person at his/her lowest]]> 2023-04-18 00:46:50 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557735425 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557735450 Acknowledge their boundaries and be mindful about them]]> 2023-04-18 00:46:51 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557735450 Do anything for them so they know u love them. bi ru shuo: when ur bf ask you to break up so he can see another guy, if u truly love him u should let him go https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557735962 2023-04-18 00:47:15 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557735962 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557739892 listening to one another]]> 2023-04-18 00:50:14 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557739892 Friend Relationship loo_chee_hin_lucas https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557741991 One can show respect to another by showing some care and concern whenever they need it. They can also show respect by giving and receiving equal amount of help (or gifts) without any party being biased. Able to relate and show empathy to each other. They should not only look for each other when they need something(无事不登三宝殿).]]> 2023-04-18 00:51:58 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557741991 The backdoor buddies - Unhealthy https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557771882 Q1) As she controlled and criticised him. Trying to change his opinion on the course. She was being self-centred and only thinking about their relationship lasting, however she did not think of what would bring her boyfriend happiness. This can be seen in the source which says “I don’t know why you are getting very excited” and “i honestly don’t think that you will do well there.” This means that the relationship is unhealthy as  the female is trying manipulating him into thinking that he is not good enough for the course and that he should spend more time with her, basically being more controlling

Q2) the guy is feeling very demoralised because he had hope that his girlfriend was going to encourage him

Q3) He believes that his girlfriend knew him best so whatever she said about him would be right

Q4) He should just follow what his heart says and do for the course of his choice as a start of coping from the breakup, he can also seek advice from his friends who can cheer him up and when he is in poly, he can have the ba da ba ba daaaa

Q5) i would talk to the guy’s girlfriend, to let her know that the words she said to him was not considerate to her boyfriend’s feeling ]]> 2023-04-18 01:15:56 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557771882 Grp Skadoodle https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557784807 The relationship is not healthy as she feels like whatever she does, the resultant effect would cause harm. Others also saying they she should not care about him. It is difficult to end the relationship as he threatens her by saying that he would self-harm himself when she wants to have a break up and she does care about him since they had memorable memories of each other. 
She can end the relationship by saying how things are and that he should not threaten to hurt himself. He could go for counselling which could help with his issues. She can still show care towards him as long as he is able to not self-harm. 
]]> 2023-04-18 01:25:31 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557784807 Samuel’s group https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557788454 Q1. The relationship is unhealthy because he worked hard for his achievement but his girlfriend did not congratulate him and discourages him from continuing the course of his choice. 

Q2. I think my friend is feeling stressed and demotivated. Yes, he should end it because the relationship is unhealthy as the girlfriend is not supporting him and even discourages him negatively infront of his friends. 

Q3. Because my friend trust the girlfriend a lot. He believes that his girlfriend knows him best. The friend can say that it is not working well and that they should take a break from each other. The friend can get help from his friends, teachers, parents and relatives.

Q4. Distract himself by exercising, listening to music and pursuing in his interest.

Q5. Yes, because the friend would understand his own situation best. I can tell that I would always be here for him]]> 2023-04-18 01:28:10 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557788454 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557788988 A relationship should have mutual respect. Both parties should respect one another and people must respect each other boundaries. People should be more mature about the situation as bad times can always occur. They should respect each other decision in any situation and further improve on themselves ]]> 2023-04-18 01:28:33 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557788988 Ambaddeblou https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557789459 Plan A:
We settle this the old fashioned way: Gang up on the girlfriend and beat her up. Frame her for war crimes and let her rot in jail.

Plan B:
We don’t jump to conclusions, find out if the bruises were truly from his girlfriend, THEN execute Plan A.

Plan C:
We, again, don’t jump to conclusions, find out if the bruises were truly from his girlfriend, then talk to the girlfriend about her attachment issues and what help she should seek. If she does not comply, execute Plan A.

Plan D:
We, once again, don’t jump to conclusions, find out if the bruises were truly from his girlfriend, then instead talk to our friend here and provide him all our possible non-expert options, such as what kind of help to seek. If the bruises do not stop appearing after 1 month, execute Plan A.

Plan E:
We, again, don’t jump to conclusions, find out if the bruises were truly from his girlfriend, and if it was done without consent, then we once again talk to our friend here if he is okay we report this to the teacher, for scratches on the thigh is indeed a very suspicious place to scratch. If nothing is done about the situation by the teachers, execute Plan A.

Plan F:
If somehow, Plan A fails and we instead all get beaten up by the girlfriend, we’ll play the victim card and report her to the authorities and teachers, adding to the war crimes she was framed for. If nothing is done by the authorities and teachers, execute Plan A again with more people.

Answering the 5 questions:

1. We can’t be sure if it’s healthy or not until we can be sure that the bruises were done by the girlfriend or not.

2. We THINK, that he does not like being in this relationship, but is scared to end it, for he may fear what his future ex-girlfriend may do in retaliation. Who knows what vile tricks she may have up her sleeve. Perhaps, a vial of poison hidden in her necklace? Or even an ambush by her unusually large group of friends?

3. As mentioned earlier, it may be hard for him to end the relationship due to his girlfriend’s possible beast like tendencies. Ways of helping has been stated in above plans.

4. He may cope by taking his mind of the break up by doing things he likes.

5. Of course, intervention is risky. There are many factors to factor in, such as what the girlfriend and her unusually large group of friends may not only do to our friend, but also what they may do to us, the people helping. Hence, it is important we consider every possible scenario that may come about from helping our friend here, and if we may successfully escape from the situation without consequences if things go south.]]> 2023-04-18 01:28:53 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557789459 https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557789590 1. unhealthy, as the girl is degrading the boy. so the boy will feel inferior and he will have no confidence in himself
2. he feels very sad and hopeless. he should end the relationship as in the long run, he will feel overwhelmed & mentally drained
3. it is difficult as the boy always rely on the girl on what to do, so if they breakup, the boy will feel lost and he will have this mindset of he can’t do anything
4. do what you love (eg. exercise, have quality time for yourself)
5. we can accompany them, just be a listening ear ]]> 2023-04-18 01:28:59 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557789590 loo_chee_hin_lucas https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557794650 Firstly, my advice is for you to talk to your parents or consult a therapist due to him threatening, being abusive and stalking you. Secondly, you should stop dating him due to his abusive nature(所谓：“一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井绳”). Lastly, you would want to contact the police force if he keeps on pestering/stalking/harassing you. ]]> 2023-04-18 01:32:43 UTC https://padlet.com/tanthiamboon1/20h1vv7ka4qmfije/wish/2557794650