Summer Project Graphic Short Story: Review 1 by Rachel Lillie https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9 Group 3 / 10 - 12.30 with Rachel Lillie en-us 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC 2023-04-08 05:13:52 UTC hello@padlet.com Is the story clear? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629574 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629574 2. Review the work territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629575 - use the post-it notes as prompts
- add your comments to each piece in the comments section VVV]]> 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629575 3. Ask a question? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629576 - write your question as a new post and connect it to the work
Three dots (Top Right) ...
'Connect to post']]> 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629576 What other considerations? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629578 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629578 1. READ THE WORK territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629579 Spend time with each piece]]> 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629579 CONSIDER : territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629580 THE MEDIUM
Image + text, process + materials used, colour, characterisation...]]> 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629580 CONSIDER : territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629581 THE FORM
Use of the page, composition / the frame / use of text, narrative structure...]]> 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629581 CONSIDER : territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629583 THE FUNCTION
communication, affect on audience, story message, readability...]]> 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629583 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629584 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629584 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629585 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629585 The end... territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629591 2020-09-25 08:31:58 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778629591 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778631743 2020-09-25 08:33:54 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778631743 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632200 2020-09-25 08:34:17 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632200 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632415 2020-09-25 08:34:30 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632415 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632465 2020-09-25 08:34:33 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632465 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632471 2020-09-25 08:34:34 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632471 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632498 2020-09-25 08:34:35 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632498 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632532 2020-09-25 08:34:37 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632532 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632701 2020-09-25 08:34:48 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778632701 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778634168 2020-09-25 08:36:07 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778634168 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778634219 2020-09-25 08:36:09 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778634219 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778692913 2020-09-25 09:29:32 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778692913 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778693582 2020-09-25 09:30:16 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778693582 k1916971 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778693637 I like that the Grandad character is the one initiating the colour to the scene. Establishing a fantasy world.

Will you use text along with his story? Perhaps you could use a script font made by yourself as well. I did not see the title until second glance.
Making a title that shows Grandads character would help make the first page more exciting and eye catching

The third page has a slightly confusing panel layout. If you make two panels slightly bigger it can help lead the eye more easily.

You created some very rich illustrations and it definetly makes you want to read it a few times to catch all the detail!]]> 2020-09-25 09:30:19 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778693637 Millie Gault territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778694345 2020-09-25 09:30:49 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778694345 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778695427 2020-09-25 09:31:53 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778695427 Lillie Kowalik territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778696032 2020-09-25 09:32:29 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778696032 Lillie Kowalik territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778696186 2020-09-25 09:32:38 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778696186 Are the pages easy to read and navigate? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778700277 2020-09-25 09:36:48 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778700277 World building - are the characters and setting convincing? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778702587 2020-09-25 09:39:20 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778702587 gracedmtalbot1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778702879 2020-09-25 09:39:41 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778702879 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778705440 2020-09-25 09:42:21 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778705440 like the monochrome, makes it feel mysterious/atmospheric. do u think you'll incorporate colour at all if you edited gracedmtalbot1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778707480 2020-09-25 09:44:36 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778707480 Could aspects be improved? Could the story or artwork be more developed? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778708167 2020-09-25 09:45:19 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778708167 Medium - what affect does the materials used have on the message? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778710303 2020-09-25 09:47:32 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778710303 k1916971 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778711157 I really love the colour here! How did you make it? It looks like it could be linocut. What was your inspiration to the design of the figures?]]> 2020-09-25 09:48:26 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778711157 i think you have such a talent for world building and i feel like I can walk into his crib. colour palette is delicious and i really dig the way you've incorporated text into your image back grounds. kim9222 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778712323 I can't tell exactly what the story is except they're showing me the crib, wish i could read the text but yeah the energy in your drawings are sooo sick and sucks me in]]> 2020-09-25 09:49:41 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778712323 really great colour palette. Creates a world this character is living in convincing. Clear story set up/narrative although text not as clear gracedmtalbot1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778712924 Want to find out what Happens to this guy.]]> 2020-09-25 09:50:17 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778712924 Is the text readable and clear? What does text or dialogue (or lack of) add to the story? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778713887 2020-09-25 09:51:14 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778713887 Lack of text makes it feel really dreamlike, along with the colours and backgrounds you've created. Although if it was a bedtime story should there be text within it. I really like it as it is tho, just wondering :)) gracedmtalbot1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778714893 2020-09-25 09:52:19 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778714893 Who’s the targeted audience? benny_bovone https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778716808 2020-09-25 09:54:15 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778716808 Is the story engaging? What makes it so? What is the reading experience like? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778717206 2020-09-25 09:54:38 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778717206 k1916971 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778719793 Oh wow your story here is really personal and super informative! I love the references you make to the unusual British characteristics balanced with humour, serious issues and the dilemma of your split Polish and British identity.  There is a lot of information on each page and it can be overwhelming to read but I think it adds to the pace and the tension of the narrative. The colours are very clever echoing the British flag and contrasts the strikingly to the background. You put a lot of thought and hard work into it!]]> 2020-09-25 09:57:22 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778719793 Interesting to see what types of stories are being addressed across the group: fiction / non-fiction, autobiographical, fantasy, topical, etc. territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778732568 2020-09-25 10:10:36 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778732568 k1916971 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778736521 I really love this funny guy that you have managed to established so strongly! You made everyday mundane objects and activities absurb which is why I think this works so well. (my favorite is him sleeping in the nike sock). I also really like the design of the rooms. Does the style have a specific name?

Only too bad I cant read the text very well. It might be the compression of the image or the text needs to be a little bigger. I would love to know exactly what he is doing!]]> 2020-09-25 10:14:43 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778736521 How is passage of time represented? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778741297 2020-09-25 10:19:28 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778741297 Is the subject matter relatable or engaging? Is it specific or broad? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778742885 2020-09-25 10:21:06 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778742885 Mood and atmosphere? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778744891 2020-09-25 10:23:15 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778744891 k1916971 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778746377 I find the story very endearing because the post man keeps his regular activities going despite the circumstances (reminds me of the world trying to cope with the pandemic). Is this made with carbon paper? Sometimes its a bit hard to read which is understandable because its a difficult medium to control. Maybe you could edit it a more digitally or try writing a few times in carbon and see if that could fit in. Other than that I do think the texture is charming. It looks like it has been sitting in the post man's back pocket or laying in a post apocalyptic atmosphere.]]> 2020-09-25 10:24:56 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778746377 Shall we meet back on TEAMS at 12pm? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778749718 WE ARE MEETING BACK IN 5 MINUTES IN TEAMS]]> 2020-09-25 10:28:35 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778749718 k1916971 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778753194 I agree with Grace, the lack of human text makes you see the comic from the dog's perspective.  I find the 3rd page really interesting because it reminds me of a body language diagram. Maybe that is the dog's replacement of the text?

did you draw the dogs by observing them at the park? ]]> 2020-09-25 10:32:08 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778753194 What is the tone of the work? Sad, funny, serious etc territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778760500 2020-09-25 10:39:29 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778760500 k1916971 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778764909 I love the exaggerations of the threats to toxic masculinity. The contrast between the vulgar upset and the innocent pink drink is funny. The quick escalation and the simple word exchange also shows the severity of the issue and how normalised the concept of tm is. Did you make this based on real life eaves dropping? very intriguing.]]> 2020-09-25 10:43:22 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778764909 How does it begin? How does it end? Is the end satisfying? territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778766750 2020-09-25 10:45:12 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778766750 territoriesii1 https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778778003 BACK TO TEAMS AT 12PM]]> 2020-09-25 10:56:14 UTC https://padlet.com/territoriesii1/1z59i4cz66oixuy9/wish/778778003