In thinking about children with self-regulation issues I often find it helpful to consider the broader context, e.g. family/caregiver behaviors and setting, too.  For example, I think of two children who had difficulty separating from parents at drop-off.  The parent of one child was able to be firm in supporting the child with a consistent drop-off routine, arriving at the end of line–up so that her child did not need to wait in line and worry about what might happen before being allowed into the building.  She was firm in insisting that the child could enter the building without her.  She kept her comments to the child brief, reassuring, and positive, “I love you.  Have a good day.  I’ll see you after school.”  The other child’s parent always insisted on entering the building with her child, sitting outside the school office and waiting for the child’s teacher to come down to escort him, personally, to class.  Her remarks to her son while waiting, were often a mixture of advice and instruction for what to do if he did not feel well- tell the teacher, ask to see the school nurse, tell her to phone me, I can pick you up,  etc.  By the end of the school year one child was happily settled into his kindergarten class, while the other was still experiencing frequent absences and tardies, with medical support for the anxiety that was preventing him from attending routinely.  

Re: post from Janelle DeMerchant  The student who I think you were referencing needs to be considered in the context of other diagnostic issues, too.  Nonetheless, his self-regulation is significantly improved in distinct settings.  For example, when in the classroom, he is highly arrousable, aggressive at times, tantrums.  In the 1:1 setting, he is significantly more aware of his behaviors, and able to distinguish appropriate and inappropriate emotional responses.  We need to be more aware of how the setting impacts students, thinking about physical and emotional arousal.  What contributes to a calming environment in a classroom?