It doesn’t matter though

I want the feeling of my lungs flaring up and filling with water

I want to pass out

I want the water to overflow and seep under the door

I want to slit my wrist before I do so I can see the water turn red

I want there to be no warning

I want this to be a sudden death so no one knows I’m doing it

I don’t want to get help

I want this to get worse

I want the feeling of adrenaline

I want to ignore it

I got put with all of the kids who don’t work.

My grades will be bad in that class again.

I don’t know if I can handle that.

Please don’t please don’t please don’t

Oh god I hate that name

Please stop

This is horrible

Please stop

I don’t want to see that every time I talk

It makes me so uncomfortable

But everyone else is having fun with it

So I won’t say what this is about

My dad made a joke about me having bulimia. I don’t. But it made me uncomfortable.

I need to cut myself open

I need my body to be covered in lines

Does my body hate me that much?

It hurts so much

Why won’t it let me make it worse?

I don't care if I'm obviously joking, but I don't want people making fun of me under my posts, I just want to be able to say anything without worrying about that.

This has already been a bad day and now my math grade is going to get worse because of one stupid test and no one even cares.

I don't want to be here anymore, I want to go home and curl up in my bed and sleep for the next 3 days, maybe I'll starve if I'm lucky.

I already got upset over such a stupid thing like people not knowing what something was, now I'm getting upset over this?

I don't get myself.

I just want this to be over.

I don't know what this assignment is and I'm genuinely scared of failing.

I don't know what the point of anything is.

i can teach u how 2 be just like me >_<

crying all night, sleepin till 3

i can teach u how 2 be just like me

just listen carefully!

I don’t get it.

Why does it make me upset?

I want to do it.

It shouldn’t make me upset.

i think my body is trying to kill me

it wont stop hurting

i can physically feel something smothering my brain

i just want to go home

like, this is actually a struggle to type out

i can't do anything right

I just want to be happy.

I wasn’t expecting to get cheated on today, but it happened anyway.

I feel like crying.

I’m not even mad, well I am, but it’s just at everything. They don’t even think about what she does before she does it.

She doesn’t even consider anyone when she makes decisions.

I don’t want to be here anymore.

Today has already been horrible, I left my headphones at home, my brain has been foggy all day, I got a horrible night of sleep, I have a headache, my whole body hurts, and I feel like I’m about to pass out.

I already forgot the feelings I had.

I’m not mad anymore.

I’m not even sad.

I don’t remember what my feelings were before.

I’m sorry.

I don’t want to be mad.

I don’t know what to feel, or how to feel.

I don’t want to be like this.

I ruined everything just for me to feel nothing?

Am I really that pathetic?

I ruined everything.

I don’t know what to do.

I probably won’t be talking as much for a while.

I don’t deserve to.

I hope that everything goes well for you.

I might apologize on chat.

But I don’t know who even cares.

I don’t know if anyone reading this knows what I’m talking about, but if you do, I know I just made it worse.

I’m sorry.

Lie bye baby

My my my life

Will never change

So why not dance away the night, right?

Bounce back to our little chat,

Got a secret on me

I’ve been holding back

My life’s been behind a mask,

And I know I sound insane

For saying that

For what you did

And I miss you

Like a little kid

time to de-realize everything

What do I do?

Everything hurts and I cant do anything.

I want to cry.

I want to go to sleep.

I don’t want to wake up.

I don’t want to die like that.

It will all be fine.

No it won’t.

I can’t keep lying to myself.

None of this is real.

I can’t even feel myself typing this.

I don’t know what I’m doing at this point.

It’s never gotten this bad before.

<Character is from Project Sekai: Colorful Stage>

---> !characters!

-> Kunikida Doppo

--> Collei

---> Emu Otori

----> Tsukasa Temna

-----> Mikaela Hyakuya

-------> Mizuki Akiyama

————-> Megurine Luka

-----------> Chuuya

-------------> Spinel

---------------------------------------

---> !other nicknames!

-> Kuni

--> Mika

---> Bug

-----> Mizu

------> Zuki

————-> Megi

—————-> Meringue

----------------------------------------

[This is not a joke pad]

-> My ratings are in another pad, if i know you, you can request a rating.

--> Anonymous are not allowed to comment, it gives me paranoia.

---> Don't talk to me if i don't like you.

----> I apologize if I offend you in any way.

[not formatted for phone or tablet]

I hate this.

I just carved lines all over my arm with a(surprisingly sharp)pen, my parents are going to kill me

I started to do sh again…

I need some serious help fr

Also my stomach hurts

Why the fuck did I fail classes, I was passing them when grades were due.

i almost pulled up my sleeve multiple times during class...

It hurt so much.

I give up.

I don't want to be here anymore.

I think I need someone older

Just a little bit colder

that was so gross

i hate this

ew

ew

ew

ew

gross

omfg

eew

ew

ew

ew

i hate fluffy

ew

ew

ew

i feel like throwing up

ew

ew

i can't fuckin handle them

i was just trying to make a silly comment and they instantly attacked me for it

it didn't even have anything to do with them

what the fuck

My simple opinion can't even be respected apparently

I don't even get considered when people talk

And then they twist the story?

I was the one being the asshole?

All I said was to shut up, and someone else said it too, and then they personally attack me for it?

Why can't they see that I was bothered about how they were acting and not their opinions.

I just found a self-harm cut that I genuinely just don’t remember doing???

Like I have no idea where this came from???

Why’d you come? You knew you should have stayed

I tried to warn you just to stay away

god, why am i so sensitive today?

But I also feel like I would cry if they did

I don’t know what I want

I chickened out before I could even touch the fire.

It still hurt.

I wish it was her that was hurting me.

But it was just her candle.

I can't tell what's going on around me

And I can't move my hands properly.

Even my tics are acting weird.

I'm already fucking overstimulated and upset because i forgot my headphones at home

I don't need a constant reminder that i can't listen to music.

Why do I always like people who I can't like?

Like, I don't want to like you, so why do I?

I don't even feel like i'm allowed to be happy anymore, my dad goes through everything, I can't even have my own privacy. If I do one wrong thing it's just going to be another argument.

It's almost summer and I'm still on bad terms with my parents, I don't know how I'm going to handle that.

I've also been alone for the past few weeks, one of the only people I actually care about is gone and now the other is as well. I only have people I have to be fake around now.

I'm also incredibly worried about my physical coming up, I know my weight might be a concern and they're going to get me tested for ADHD. If I don't have it then that just means I really am lazy, I don't want to face that if that's my reality.

I know their lives are worse than mine and they have good reason to do so, but I'm so sick and tired of being abandoned. Dazxuuu keeps ignoring me, and I know he probably doesn't care much for me, but I care about him and I want to keep him in my life. My ex fucking ignored me the moment we broke up, Oliver left and can't be back till april or so, Akemi is leaving forever, Atsu won't be on as often next year, two of my irl best friends have been gone for a while, and my crush has as well. I just feel so separated from everyone.

If you need to be mean

Be mean to me

I can take it

And put it inside

Of me

If your hands need to break

More than trinkets

In your room

You can lean on my arm

As you break my heart

So no more cuddle buddy :(((

And no more color buddy :(((

and no one to help me pick out my sleep music for the night :(((

(I usually use sleep music w/ jellyfish on the cover)

I need sleep

૮ - ՛ ) (` - 7

/ ⁻ ៸| |、⁻〵

乀 (ˍ, ل ل じしˍ,)ノ

^

'

'

'

me and my imaginary friends

I hope I can get down to 00 🎀

I’ve already had 342 calories today and I haven’t even ate lunch yet

I need to learn how to stop

3 times

I wish it worked

Don’t take it personally

Everyone keys rn I hope you all diе and suffer in hell I hate you all fucк you

I hope it works this time

I hope Elise comes with me