The Truth About Me- impactful lines by Kshiraja R

-They brought down their lathis heavily on my back(page 218) .

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-But my profession is considered unacceptable by society and law (Page 219) .

-Other people too appeared afraid to talk to me in public places ( page 230).

-I felt their pain and hurt , and recalled my own operation( page 234).

-I felt a glow of pride( page 246)

-Every hijra has a talent, but talent requires the right opportunity and context to find expression ( page 246).

-I could not bring myself to say that I loved him (page 266) .

-To get a lisence under the name of Revathi, I had to gi through all of this( page 226).

-When I saw them pack their bags with goodies, I told myself that I too must return home one day, with a bagful of things for my folks( page 196).

I felt wounded ( page 216).

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"Our senior officer will come and after that we'll shave off your head and send you to jail!"( pg- 205)

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-When I was standing naked, he stuck his lathi where I'd had my operation and demanded that I stand with my legs apart, like a woman would. ( pg-206)

-I bent and showed him my back. He then asked me to hold my buttocks apart so that he could see my anal passage. When I did, he thrust his lathi in there and asked, " so you get it there?". (pg-207)

-It is like shopping at the vegetable market. You pinch, squeeze and satisfy yourself of the vegetable's quality before you buy. We were inspected likewise. One's self- respect had to be hawked thus to feed one's stomach. Imagine, they actually grab your breast to make sure it is real. (Pg-211)

-I ended doing for her what she as a chela should have done for me, her guru, after my time- I had to do her final rites. (pg-292)

-Unable to make a living, I wondered if I should end my life. Interested as I was in social struggles and working for social change, I did not have the heart to continue doing sex work. (pg-303)

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"Amma, did you have an operation, and those"-he pointed to my breast-"are they real?" - Here she is treated differently because of being deviant. She is asked questions which is not comfortable but the person thinks he doesn't a limit to question her as she is a hijra. Pg 194

"Akka" she'd say, "buy a string of flowers from me. Be my first buyer for the day" - here Revathi feels accepted by the flower selling lady

Pg 195

"Why right away? She can't go like that! She does not know the city of its streets, or how to take an auto to go anywhere. What if she loses her way and lands up with a police or a rowdies? Let her learn about the city a bit more before she goes for danda" - Revathi's seniors from the place warns her that it is not safe to go for prostitution when she doesn't even know the city well and the dangers associated with it. It portrays how vulnerable they can be.

Pg 200

"Okay, okay, now hand over what you have with you" - this line shows how people take hijras for granted. They are treated by badly people (and they have no remorse about it). She is suffering here due to no legal support and the guy knows that he won't get any trouble if he troubles her. Pg 203

He kicked me with his boots. - here Revathi is sexually and physically abused by the police man. She is hurt due to lack of legal support. She is also unable to defend herself due to the offender's authority. Pg 206

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1) If society scorns us, then we turn to our families, if we have a family. But what if family scorns us, who do we turn to? (186)

2)On the way to court,they told me that I must not speak of how I was beaten or humiliated. Instead, I was to accept responsibility for my crime, pay the requisite fine and leave. (208)

3) I had no choice but to suffer it.(210)

4) One's self-respect had to be hawked thus to feed one's stomach. (211)

5) Working thus, suffering thus, unable to talk about what I endured, and feeling as if I was no one's child, I'd send to my father the money I earned. (213)

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1) "What could the aravanis do? Who could they tell on? They were afraid to say anything at all, for violence would their fate if they actually told on one of these men. It was only my gurubai who had caught a glimpse of the murderers whenthey threatened her while she was at the tap. The police interrogated her several times. But she could not really tell them who had done it. I was present at all these enquiry sessions, accompanying the aravanis to the police station" (Pg :298)

2) " 'Didn't the police get those chandalas? Did not anyone try to intervene when they chased her and cut her up? Were you all standing by and watching?" (Pg: 296)

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1) The pain I felt, the hurt I suffered - my entire being shudders when I recall what happened to me that evening. (210)

2) I long for respect. I want to live a life of dignity. (219)

3) Things happen and sometimes you forget them. There are times when

you know what is in store and you endure the problems and the pain. I

want to write about all of that, but I have to protect myself. I certainly

don’t want to cause pain to others by writing things that might hurt them.

So I can only write about things selectively. (219)

4) Society and law not only think we are doing wrong, but are violent towards us. (221)

5) Unable to find a solution, I agreed to have the RC book issued in the

name of Doraisamy. (224)

6) There is this power in me, this urge to fight wrong. I don’t know if it’s

because I was born a man and became a woman. I am not sure I’d have

thus stood on a road and shouted had I been born a woman. (229)

7) Homosexuality is not abnormal, it is natural. Yet Indian law considers

it a crime. (239)

8) For several days I kept thinking of my visit to Sangama. If I could

indeed get a job there, I’d have found a way to work for my community. (240)

9) My house owner and his family

and my neighbours thought of me as a woman. They did not discriminate

against me or set me apart. They called me over to their homes on festive

occasions, gave me kumkum and shared their food with me, as I did

mine. (243)

10) My argument was: ‘How much longer can we continue to live in fear?

Don’t we deserve to live free? Do we not want people to think differently

about us? Don’t we all want the violence to end, or least decrease? If

each one of us is to think that this is none of my business, then how are

we going to get people to understand hijras?’ (245-246)

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'Amma, people like us have done this forever. for generations, all we have been able to do is begging or sex work.(pg:242).
' Mummy, we're friends. we've seen you on this road many times and we've always wanted to talk to you. but we were scared to approach you. Today we decided that somehow we must talk to you. you are very beautiful. we feel like gazing at you .... all the time....' (232)
Homosexuality is not abnormal, it is natural. yet Indian law considers it a crime. Indian customs too criminalize it .(239)

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1)"So many people had watched the man beat me, stared at the spectacle. No one had done anything to help." (216)

2)"There were so many things that I could be proud of but I feel that this was about more than an individual hijra’s success- it was a matter of pride for all hijras." (246)

3) "And because of the changes wrought in me by my experiences as an activist, I had become more assertive." (248)

4)"But my work turned out to be the healing balm that I needed." (293)

5)"What could the aravanis do? What could they tell on?" (298)

6)"I was pushed back into poverty. I did not have the heart to go from shop to shop begging." (302)

7)"I began to wonder if at the end of it all, I would be left doing sex work for the rest of my life." (303)

8)"Even if I had left my activism behind, it refused to leave me!" (303)

{ I chose the above lines from the autobiography because, they highlight the helplessness and lack of choices of Revathi, as a part of the hijra community. As opposed to that, Revathi as a social activist has agency to work to increase the choices and freedom enjoyed by the hijras.}

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“I do not seek sympathy from society or the government. I seek to show that we hijras do have the right to live in this society.” — Preface
“A woman trapped in a man's body was how I thought of myself. But how could that be? Would the world accept me thus? I longed to be known as a woman and felt pain at being considered a man.” — pg. 15
“Marginalized by mainstream society, denied a legal existence and dispossessed of their rights, hijras turn to their community and its culture for comfort and for nurture.” — pg. 62
“Could not God have given me a woman's voice at least?
When I was dressed like a man, they said I spoke like a woman, and now after I've changed into a woman, they say my voice is like a man's! Ashamed and frustrated, I would not be able to respond.” — pg. 173
“I felt wounded. So many people had watched the man beat me, stared at the spectacle. No one had done anything to help. What sort of a world was I living in?” — pg. 216
“Neither I nor the police knew why people stopped to talk to me: whether they wanted to take me some place and have sex with me, whether they were merely asking for directions, whether they were concerned if I was lost. They could have come to me for any of these things. But the police did not care about reasons.” — pg. 217
“Since law and society in this country do not acknowledge our right to live as we wish, we are forced to beg, take up sex work, and suffer as a consequence.” — pg. 262

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That night I cried silently to myself, thinking of all that I had to go through. There was not a soul there to take pity on me. I felt intensely ashamed and enraged. I even thought that I should perhaps grab one of the guns there and shoot myself. But I did not know how to shoot and besides, I was afraid to even go near one of them.
Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue to do sex work at all. But what else was I to do? I had no choice but to suffer it. I had to get used to living thus, not knowing what the day would bring or what the morrow held for me. I’d been born a pottai and if I wanted to live as a woman, I had to endure this life. Sex work was considered a crime, which is why if a rowdy grabbed one of us on the streets, or bundled us into an auto, there was no one to take our side. In fact, from our perspective there was no difference between a police and a rowdy. They both behaved in a similar way.
I did not want to go. But I went and danced, for my guru’s sake.
I felt wounded. So many people had watched the man beat me, stared at the spectacle. No one had done anything to help. What sort of a world was I living in?
IF YOU HAVE a government job, you have to work on all days except holidays. Whatever problems there were at work, you could at least tell the world that you worked, that you had a job. But my profession is considered unacceptable by society and law. Besides, I was born a man and had become a woman—that meant more trouble, more problems. A man sometimes has to struggle to live; but for people like me, to live was to struggle and fight.

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People like us always have problems.(pg 190)
It is the police who are shooting her off.( Pg 190)
People like us have no choice but to beg or do sex work. ( Pg 190)
I was afraid that once I accepted the money, I might lose my family forever.
I wanted to be like other women go to work, do something for society.( pg 241)

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kshirajaragav5 — 2024-02-14 05:41:06 UTC

"People like us always have problems."- page 190
"I had no choice but to suffer it."- page 210
"Society and law not only think we are doing wrong, but are violent towards us."- page 221
"Since law and society in this country do not acknowledge our right to live as we wish, we are forced to beg, take up sex work, and suffer as a consequence."- page 262
"I was pushed back into poverty. I did not have the heart to go from shop to shop begging."- page 302

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the roads, at least not immediately. They identify us eventually when they

notice us walking the same streets often, and because we stop and talk to

people on bikes and cars. Then they catch hold of us. How many times

they’ve caught me thus, beaten me in full view of the road, snatched

money from me as a bribe and sent me off!"

"He replied in Kannada, ‘So you’re a khoja? But you don’t look like

one!’

‘But I am,’ I said.

‘Okay, okay, now hand over whatever you have with you.’

He checked my purse and took away the two hundred and fifty rupees

that I had. Not content with that, he snatched the copper chain I wore

around my neck, thinking it was gold. I had copper bangles on my wrists.

He wanted those as well, but I could not get them off easily. He would

not believe my protests that they were copper bangles until he finally struck a match and examined them in the light of its flame. He then left

in the same auto, and I found myself alone in that dark neighbourhood"

"Why the hell can’t you do that in Tamil Nadu? Why come here?’ A

policeman brought his lathi down on my legs and hands. Another kicked

me with a booted foot."

"Let you go? Not a chance! Go and sit in that corner. Our senior officer

will come and after that we’ll shave off your head and send you to jail!’"

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If society scorns us , then we turn to our families, if we have a family. But if family scorns us , who do we turn to? Could not have God created me as a man or a woman? Why did he make me this way? (Page 186)

Listen, I'm not diseased (page 262).