https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-10-04 15:28:10 UTC 2025-04-24 07:08:46 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f961.png 28ogold https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/1793599025 I absolutely loved your writing piece. You’re very detailed in your writing piece. I agree on many things. Ice cream is so good, especially Dairy Queen! I love how you gave examples on many things you like to do, or you dont like to do. I think you could elaborate more on why you want to become a cardiologist, like explain more on the topic like what it is! Overall your piece was very fun to read! I adored it so much! 

]]> 2021-10-05 15:55:10 UTC https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/1793599025 28eayotunde https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/1800297951 I like your writing piece especially the Dairy Queen part. I can agree with you, i see most of my friends at church since I’m the most popular kid there. A few things i know you should improve on is your grammar. At the first sentence you put “Itell” which was confusing to me. I also think you could improve on the part where you now have 2 step-sisters I’ve never even seen. Elaborate on that. You didn’t even add in a greeting or an ending. I also think you should’ve added in your dislikes so we could get to know you better. It gives off a “I like everything except for my sibs” vibe which idk about… 

/lh - Jax.]]> 2021-10-07 15:55:02 UTC https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/1800297951 https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/1921247741 Honestly, I wanted to start crying once I read the miserable parts of your short story. So indecisive and intricate, and I loved your details. Your similes were amazing, and I felt as if I were in your memoir watching your very actions. It was so inspiring and touching, the memories of you and your grandfather blasted into your head. I could picture it happening, and can’t imagine what you must’ve been going through. Overall, you lacked every single descriptive sentence. Incredibly emotional, yet I needed to read more of your memoir. I adored your moral of the story, and I was inspired. It has me getting reminded of every tough time I had. Loved ones passing away is the ultimate worst. Though I have a suggestion. I am still wondering what you were feeling when you heard the tragic news. What did your emotions lead to? With that, I’ll be able to understand the whole picture better.]]> 2021-11-30 19:25:12 UTC https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/1921247741 cerea1 https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/1923742589 A strength of your memoir, "The day my Grandpa died" is that you really described the room you were in! I also like how you mentioned how you've never noticed these things before, and now you're observing them with the reader. I also like how you went back in time to tell the reader your old memories with your grandpa. I think it really shows how much you miss him. However, I think you could work on your grammar and spelling, but your piece is really good! (and emotional) 

R.I.P to your grandpa :(]]> 2021-12-01 20:28:01 UTC https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/1923742589 28tocana https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/1926215715 One of the strengths of your memoir is the way you described what you saw before your aunt called. You talked about the walls being a boring cream looking wall. The dusty tv stand and the detailed shelf that your dad put together. The second strength of your memoir is all of the flashbacks. You recalled important flashbacks of the time spent with your grandfather. Flashbacks of the time were sad and others happy. My one wish for your memoir is how can you talk about how you were able to accept his death. You could describe how you felt after you heard the news of his death.]]> 2021-12-02 22:56:07 UTC https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/1926215715 cerea1 https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/2082319010 Hi Aisha! A strength of your essay is that you used a lot of descriptive words in your warrants! In your introduction, I like how you wrote “With her eyelids angling on for dear life, she starts getting ready for school.” I think it gives the reader a better visual! In addition, I also like how you used the “same characters” in your anecdote, like Zaida. I think it’s different, but creative! However, a wish that I have is that you could add transition words to your paragraphs, to “open”. I also think you should add a title so the reader knows what your topic is about! Overall, your essay is really great! Great job!]]> 2022-03-07 18:43:29 UTC https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/2082319010 28ahemanth https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/2163155305 Hello, Ms. Crazy Ax lady. Your piece, “Plot twist: a 180 degrees turn,” is phenomenal! I love the suspense, and the cliffhanger of what happens with Meg and her mom literally makes me want more! I loved the part when Meg finds out about Luke, and looks up everything on a website, just to get some answers. I got a really SPOICY visual and it was like a movie if I really thought about it. However, I suggest you elaborate on how Meg looked, what she was wearing, etc. The descriptive words were very good, but perhaps you could have added more of them, because that would give the reader a better description of the characters. But other than that minor situation, I loved it all! ]]> 2022-04-28 18:32:03 UTC https://padlet.com/28ajilani/16iorw9j9v9vttnp/wish/2163155305