-Your outline is very clear.
-You will use a table and diagram to support your essay.
- It is good that the combination of the topic and real life context.

3.Sggestions
It would be better if you can introduce what type of leadership you will mention  in the last part.

Selection of relevant literature: -

Clear communication: 6

Strong points: Your outline is complete and detailed. I can see the structure and the variety of the topics. 

Suggestions: I am sure you have collected the appropriate literature and have all the references, make sure not to forget to write them down in your final paper. 

It seems to me a little broad on the second levels of your outline, maybe you can narrow it down a little and be more specific. 

Selection of relevant literature: 7
 communication: 7

Strong points: Your outline is clear and well structured. 

It is great that you can talk and refer to a specific topic and setting, the one that you work in. I am sure that will make your analysis easier and better. Good choice! 

Suggestions: I am not sure where are you going to be talking about “modern expectations” and what do you mean by that. Make sure to define the term for a better comprehension. 

Selection of relevant literature: 7

Clear communication: 6

Strong points: I find your choice very interesting, it is great that you can review and analyze the situation of your country, good choice! 

Your outline is completed and well-structured. 

Suggestions: Maybe you can be clearer about what do you mean on the third level of your outline. It seems a little confusing for me. 

Selection of relevant literature: 7

Clear communication: 6

Strong points: I find your choice very interesting, great topic. Good selection of literature. 

Suggestions: Your outline seems a little broad to me, maybe you can narrow it down a little and make it more specific, which is also going to be easier to you to analyze.   

1. Assessment Rubric

  Statement of clear argument: 6
   Selection of relevant literature: 6
   Clear communication: 7

 

2. Strong Points
 -Clear format that easy to follow

-Good to have a detailed understanding or introduction of Traits Theory in Part 1
 -Relevant literature are chosen

 

3. Suggestions:

-Good argument in Part 3, however, a definition or criterion of leadership success should be given

-Little broad in Part 3.2, specific domains should be stated 

1. Assessment Rubric

  Statement of clear argument: 7
   Selection of relevant literature: 7
   Clear communication: 7

 

2. Strong Points
   -Good selection of literature, and most of them are up-to-dated

  -Great to have real life experience in discussion

  -Very interesting argument, specifically Part 4 stating the drawback of other leadership to evidence instructional leadership is the effective one

 

3. Suggestions
  -Part 3 is a good argument, but “modern expectation” should be defined
  -Think about the consistency, Part 2.2 discussion focus on a modern QLD high school, then 3.0 have no limitation, but 4.0 involve some context of QLD school, this may confuse readers.  

1. Assessment Rubric

  Statement of clear argument: 7
   Selection of relevant literature: 7
   Clear communication: 6

 

2. Strong Points
   - Well-organized structure that easy to follow 

  -Great to have own experience in discussion, especially Part 2 have a very in-depth analysis of current leadership in Chinese Western Schools. 

  -Up-to-dated and relevant literature are chosen

 

3. Suggestions

  -Be aware the word limitation, there are only 2000 words but two leadership model are discussed in your paper

  -Better to adjust the term of “Chinese Western School”, it’s little confused

1. Assessment Rubric

  Statement of clear argument: 6
   Selection of relevant literature: 6
   Clear communication: 6

 

2. Strong Points

  -Clear outline of the paper

  -Relevant literature are chosen

  -A Good topic to argue- comparing two model of leadership

 

3. Suggestion

  - Outline seems too broad, Part 2.3 and Part 3.1 seem overlap, should clearly state which domains will be compared, e.g. foundation, practice, outcomes or other specific area like teachers’ efficiency, school climate etc. 
   - Be aware of the word limitation, 2000 words may be not enough to have an in-depth analysis on two leadership model, so narrowing the scope may be needed