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Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)

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We're the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) and we're uniting the UK against suicide.

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Abuse in teenage relationships is when you begin to feel scared or controlled by the person you're with. You may be confused because it feels like a loving relationship but often only when you behave in a certain way. This can happen at any age, regardless of gender.

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Abuse in teenage relationships is when you begin to feel scared or controlled by the person you're with. You may be confused because it feels like a loving relationship but often only when you behave in a certain way. This can happen at any age, regardless of gender.

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Domestic abuse is the repeated abuse of a person in an intimate or family relationship. It can happen to anyone - we’re here to support you.

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If you're a victim of domestic violence or abuse, there are many different organisations which can help you.

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Call the police on 999.

If you're a victim of domestic violence or abuse, there are many different organisations which can help you.

If you think you've experienced trafficking, find out more about about getting help.

Organisations for women

National Domestic Abuse helpline

The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is a freephone 24 hour helpline which provides advice and support to women and can refer them to emergency accommodation.

The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is run by Refuge.

There are translation facilities if your first language is not English. The Helpline also offers BT Type talk for callers with hearing difficulties. The Helpline worker contacts the Type talk operator so that the caller can communicate through them.

Website: www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

Refuge

Their helpline offers advice and support to women experiencing domestic violence.

Refuge also provide safe, emergency accommodation through a network of refuges throughout the UK, including culturally-specific services for women from minority ethnic communities and cultures.

Their website also includes some information for men who are either being abused or who are abusers.

Website: www.refuge.org.uk

Women's Aid

The Women's Aid website provides a wide range of resources to help women and young people.

This includes The Survivor's Handbook which provides a range of information including legal and housing advice, tips on how to create a safety plan and advice for people with specialist housing needs. It's available in 11 languages and in audio.

They also run a website to support to children and teenagers who may be living in a home affected by domestic violence, or who may be in a violent relationship themselves.

Website: www.womensaid.org.uk

Rights of Women

Rights of Women offers confidential legal advice on domestic and sexual violence. You can find out more about what they do and when they're open on their website.

Website: www.rightsofwomen.org.uk

Finding Legal Options for Women Survivors (FLOWS)

FLOWS gives legal advice to women who are affected by domestic abuse - they also give advice to front line workers.

Website: https://www.rcjadvice.org.uk/family/flows-finding-legal-options-for-women-survivors/

Southall Black Sisters

Southall Black Sisters provide advice for Black (Asian and African-Caribbean) women with issues including domestic abuse, forced marriage, immigration and homelessness.

Website: www. southallblacksisters.org.uk

Organisations for men

Respect - Men's Advice Line

The Men's Advice Line is a confidential helpline for all men experiencing domestic violence by a current or ex-partner. They provide emotional support and practical advice, and can give you details of specialist services that can give you advice on legal, housing, child contact, mental health and other issues.

Website: www.mensadviceline.org.uk

ManKind Initiative

The ManKind Initiative is a charity offering information and support to men who are victims of domestic abuse or violence. This can include information and support on reporting incidents, police procedures, housing, benefits and injunctions. They can refer you to a refuge, local authority or other another support service if you need it.

Website: new.mankind.org.uk

SurvivorsUK

This is a helpline for men who have been victims of rape or sexual abuse.

They may be able to arrange counselling or a support group if you live in the London area, or provide details of an appropriate service if you don't.

Website: www.survivorsuk.org

Everyman Project

The Everyman Project offers counselling to men in the London area who want to change their violent or abusive behaviour. It also has a national helpline which offers advice to anyone worried about their own, or someone else's, violent or abusive behaviour.

Website: www.everymanproject.co.uk.

Organisations for women and men

RCJ Advice Family Service

RCJ Advice Family Service can give legal advice to people who are affected by domestic abuse or need family law help - find out more on the RCJ Advice website.

Rape Crisis

Rape Crisis (England and Wales) is an umbrella organisation for Rape Crisis Centres across England and Wales. The website has contact details for centres and gives basic information about rape and sexual violence for survivors, friends, family, students and professionals. Rape Crisis (England and Wales) also runs a freephone helpline.

Website: www.rapecrisis.org.uk

Honour Network Helpline

The Honour Network Helpline is a national helpline run by Karma Nirvana, a national charity which advises victims and survivors of forced marriage and honour-based abuse.

Website: www.karmanirvana.org.uk

Action on Elder Abuse

Action on Elder Abuse gives confidential advice and information to older people who are victims of violence or abuse. A relative or friend of the person being abused can also contact the helpline on behalf of the older person. The helpline can be used in the case of older people who live at home, in a care home or who are in hospital.

Website: www.elderabuse.org.uk

National Stalking Helpline

The National Stalking Helpline can provide advice on how to deal with any type of stalking behaviour. This includes advice on how to report the behaviour to the police, and what you can expect if you report something.

Website: www.stalkinghelpline.org

Respect Phoneline

Respect Phoneline offers information and advice to partners, friends and family who want to stop someone's violent behaviour.

Website: www.respectphoneline.org.uk

Organisations for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people

National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline

Galop provides support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people experiencing domestic violence.

Website: www.galop.org.uk/domesticabuse/

Organisations for disabled people

SignHealth - Domestic Abuse Service

SignHealth provides a specialist domestic abuse service to help Deaf people find safety and security. You can find out how to contact them on their website.

Website: www.signhealth.org.uk/with-deaf-people/domestic-abuse/domestic-abuse-service/

Respond

Respond work with children and adults with learning disabilities who've either experienced abuse or abused other people.

Website: www.respond.org.uk

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Domestic violence and abuse - getting help

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Call the police on 999. If you're a victim of domestic violence or abuse, there are many different organisations which can help you. If you think you've experienced trafficking, find out more about about getting help. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is a freephone 24 hour helpline which provides advice and support to women and can refer them to emergency accommodation.

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On My Mind | Resources for Young People | Anna Freud Centre

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Helping survivors move on with their lives.

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Helping survivors move on with their lives.

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The Maggie Oliver Foundation - Helping Surivors of Abuse

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The Maggie Oliver Foundation is a UK-based charity, set up with the focus of helping survivors of abuse transform their pain into power, and fighting for justive.

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Sexual violence and abuse is any behaviour of a sexual nature which is unwanted and takes place without consent or understanding. This includes rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, childhood sexual abuse, female genital mutilation and more.

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Support and information on drugs and alcohol

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Support and information on drugs and alcohol

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Essential support for under 25s

Whether you're experimenting with drink and drugs for the first time, you need to know how to help a friend, or you're just looking for information, we've got you covered. This page is here to offer non-judgemental support and to empower you to make the right choices for yourself.

Find support for drink and drugs

We're not your parents so we won't tell you not to drink or do drugs (even the illegal ones), but we can help you to get informed on what you're putting into your body.

Any alcohol or drug that's going into your system is going to affect it. This page will give you the good, the bad and the ugly - no holding back. From health problems and withdrawal symptoms to the positives of a really good trip, this is your one-stop shop for all things substance related.

Breaking the stigma around seeking support

Young people have told The Mix that the stigma around drink and drugs would prevent them from asking for support. We want to break down that stigma and make issues such as drug use and addiction ok to talk about. Our support services are always there to listen and to talk about any challenge and we'll never judge the things you tell us.

If you need support for drugs or alcohol, get in touch with our team today.

Coping with a comedown

The high can be so goddamn high that it might make you forget about reality for a while. Unfortunately, that reality is waiting for you as soon as you come down. After a high, a comedown is the last thing you want to experience. But, as Newton said - what goes up, must come down, it's basic gravity. Don't worry though, we'll help you through it.

What's addiction?

Addiction is a compulsion to use a substance, or persist with certain behaviour to ensure you feel good - or to avoid feeling crappy. An addiction falls into two categories: physical and psychological. It doesn't even have to be a serious problem to be classed as an addiction. There are different severities of addiction, which means you can be anywhere on the spectrum; from 'mild addiction' to 'serious addiction'.

Physical addiction

This occurs after you take a substance so much it actually alters your body's chemistry. This means your body develops a hunger for this drug that you have to keep feeding. If you don't, your body goes into withdrawal and you get all kinds of nasty symptoms until you feed it again.

Psychological addiction

This is when your brain gets hooked to a particular substance or behaviour that 'rewards' it, i.e., makes you feel good. An addicted brain can actually produce physical manifestations of withdrawal, including cravings, irritability, insomnia, and depression. The mind is truly a powerful thing.

When it comes to alcohol, nicotine and illegal drugs, it's possible to develop either a physical addiction, psychological addiction, or a mixture of both. Find out more here.

What's a drug relapse?

If you have challenges with addiction, getting sober is a journey and a half. There's bound to be temptation along the way and you may have a drugs relapse. But this isn't a reason to freak out and brand yourself a failure. Relapsing is very common and something you can learn from.

It's important to distinguish between a 'lapse' and a 'relapse', and not give up hope of recovery just because you've lapsed once. A lapse is a one-off occasion where you indulge in drink/drugs whereas a relapse is where it becomes a regular thing. Find out more here.

What are the different classes of drugs?

Class A drugs

Class B drugs

Amphetamines (speed), cannabis, codeine.

Maximum penalties: five years in prison and/or a fine for possession, 14 years in prison and/or a fine for possession with intent to supply.

Class C drugs

Ketamine, some tranquillisers like Temazepam, the supply of anabolic steroids;

Maximum penalties: two years in prison and/or a fine for possession, 14 years prison and/or a fine for possession with intent to supply.

Find out more here.

How can I drink safely?

Drink plenty of water, especially in between drinks. Pacing yourself is a good way to practice safe drinking. A pint of water before you crash on the couch can also see off any headaches.

Eat well before you drink and your body will be prepped to soak the alcohol up. Go for food that takes a long time to digest, such as bread, cheese, potato and pasta (you're welcome). These will line your stomach and lessen the pain the next morning.

Find out more here.

Our partners

The Mix would like to thank the CHK Foundation, who funded this project, and the Amy Winehouse Foundation for their support and guidance.

The Mix. Registered charity number: 1048995

Welcome to The Mix, a support service for young people. There are loads of ways you can get support from us, including our articles, videos, helpline, counselling, forums, apps and more. To find which service suits your needs use the drop down menu below.

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Drink and Drugs | Facts & Information | The Mix

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Our drink and drugs hub provides lots of free, unbiased articles and advice on drink and drugs for under 25s in the UK.

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My name is Megan, I am 22 years old and have been a young carer since I was 10. I help provide support for my dad, who developed a mental health condition when I was young, and care for my autistic brother and two younger sisters. Currently, I am a Communications Intern at Carers Trust.
My UCAS application story

In July 2021, I graduated from university with a degree in animation. I remember feeling worried, especially during the years before I went to university. All those questions: Should I go to university? If so, which one? Can I leave the people I care for? Ahh - and what about debt?

Year 13 was when all these questions filled my head. All my friends were making plans, writing their personal statements, and exploring what their university accommodation might look like on Google Maps.

My teachers pressured me to go to university, but I wasn't ready to leave my family. At the time, my dad was only just recovering from a low period, and my sisters were so very young; they needed me. I then decided to delay applying to university and go to college to do a foundation degree. This gave me the time and space I needed to work out what course I wanted to do, where I wanted to study and gave me time to prepare my family for when I did leave home.

Taking a different approach to UCAS

I loved my foundation year. It allowed me to concentrate on one subject, gave me more free time, and was overall less stressful than my A-levels. This meant that I was in a much better headspace to start making decisions about my future.

Despite this, choosing a university was hard. My main issue was that I wasn't able to go to open days. My dad suffers with his mental health and isn't very mobile. I also have three younger siblings, one of whom is autistic. When I was looking at universities, my dad couldn't look after my siblings for long periods of time on his own. My mum or I needed to be at home to care.

Therefore, I did all of my research online. I studied university websites and websites like The Uni Guide , The Student Room and to work out which universities to include in my UCAS application. Additionally, I made time to speak to my tutors, asked them about what they thought of different universities and if they knew of past students I could talk to.

Filling out the UCAS application

If you feel overwhelmed by the idea of filling out a UCAS application, please don't worry, you are not alone. I found it tricky when my tutors were telling me that I should include extracurricular activities and write about my hobbies. The truth is being a carer has meant that I've had little time or money to go and play netball or do the Duke of Edinburgh Award, for example. When I look back on this, I realise that although I have not done these things like my friends, I had qualities and skills they didn't. Being a young carer has taught me how to be responsible, manage my time and be resilient.

I ask you to think, what makes you different, focus on yourself as an individual, take your time, and lastly, it's more than okay to reach out for extra support.

Tips for offers and interviews

Again, another scary time! I am pleased to say I received interviews from the universities I was most interested in going to. However, this did come with challenges. Lots of time and planning went into making sure my mum was able to drive me to my interviews.

I felt very intimated at first by the whole idea of having an interview. I believed others were better than me because of their education and experience. I understood how wrong I was in a group interview. The interviewer asked every one of us what inspires us. I spoke about my caring role and explained that people inspire me. Others like me who look after someone else that couldn't cope without them, but also the people I care for. Saying this in my interview set me apart from my competition and gave me an edge.

I advise you to think about what makes you unique and what you're passionate about. Keep this in mind when writing your personal statement and when you're being interviewed. I promise you it will set you apart from your peers, no matter how weird and wonderful.

Some final words

Everyone needs to know what course they want to study, the deadlines for UCAS applications, meet the entry requirements, budget, write a personal statement, but there are many more factors to consider when you're a carer. I hope you take away from my story that being a carer may present its barriers, but it's also one of the many things that makes you, you.

If you need support as a young carer or young adult carer

Check out The Mix's support and information hub for carers.

Read Katherine's piece about being a student carer.

Take a look at the UCAS advice on applying for university when you're a carer

Sorry, comments closed

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UCAS application tips for young carers - The Mix

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My name is Megan, I am 22 years old and have been a young carer since I was 10. I help provide support for my dad, who developed a mental health condition when I was young, and care for my autistic brother and two younger sisters.

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The Mix: Online Community and Confidential Helpline

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The Mix: Online Community and Confidential Helpline

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Essential support for under 25s

The Mix is the UK's leading support service for young people. We are here to help you take on any challenge you're facing - from mental health to money, from homelessness to finding a job, from break-ups to drugs. Talk to us via our online community, on social, through our free, confidential helpline or our counselling service.

Featured

The Mix. Registered charity number: 1048995

Log in

Welcome to The Mix, offering essential support for under 25s.

Log in to submit your own content on our platform Your Voices.

If you do not have an account with us you can sign up here.
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Sign up

Welcome to The Mix, the online guide to life for young people in the UK.

Your Voices is a community-focused section of The Mix where you can share stories about your experiences on a specific issue. Upload your own videos, images, blog posts, and playlists to Your Voices and share them with your friends.

Don't have a Your Voices account? Sign up here to submit your own content.

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The Mix - Essential support for under 25s

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The Mix: 0808 808 4994 - Free information and support for under 25s in the UK. Get advice about sex, relationships, drugs, mental health, money & jobs.

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LifeSIGNS - the user-led self-injury small charity

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LifeSIGNS (Self-Injury Guidance & Network Support) is an online, user-led charitable organisation, founded in 2002 to create understanding about self-injury and provide information and support to people of all ages affected by self-injury across the UK.

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Locally Based Suicide Prevention Support

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Locally Based Suicide Prevention Support

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'Suicide' is a word that most of us avoid, this needs to change in order to break the stigma. Suicide is preventable and we all have a roll to play.

REACHOUT Liverpool aims to guide those that are feeling suicidal to a safe place and arm those that are concerned with the confidence to help someone. Talking about suicide can change and save a life.

Anyone can have suicidal thoughts - REACHOUT now and start a conversation.

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Reach Out Liverpool - Suicide Prevention

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'Suicide' is a word that most of us avoid, this needs to change in order to break the stigma. Suicide is preventable and we all have a roll to play. REACHOUT Liverpool aims to guide those that are feeling suicidal to a safe place and arm those that are concerned with the confidence to help someone.

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Supporting children and young people ) in Liverpool who are looking after a family member who is ill, disabled, has mental health problems, or is misusing drugs or alcohol.

Supporting Young Adult Carers up to age 25, who continue to have a caring responsibility for an Adult.

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Supporting children and young people ) in Liverpool who are looking after a family member who is ill, disabled, has mental health problems, or is misusing drugs or alcohol. Supporting Young Adult Carers up to age 25, who continue to have a caring responsibility for an Adult.

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Welcome to the Young Carers sub-hub! On the Young Carers hub, you will find a range of resources, tools, videos to support you as a young carer.

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Safeguarding Children from Radicalisation and Extremism

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Safeguarding Children from Radicalisation and Extremism

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Liverpool Safeguarding Children Partnership (LSCP) -

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Safeguarding children and young people from radicalisation is no different from safeguarding them from other forms of harm” - The Prevent Strategy 2011

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Are you concerned about someone who is at risk of radicalisation?

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Are you concerned about someone who is at risk of radicalisation?

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Prevent radicalisation

Are you concerned about someone who is at risk of radicalisation?

If so, get in touch with the council's Prevent Safeguarding Team to discuss your concerns. We can support vulnerable people and prevent them from being drawn into extremism or terrorism as part of the UK Government Counter Terrorism Strategy.

Contact the Prevent Safeguarding Team in confidence

You can also call the Merseyside Police Prevent Team on 0151 777 4878.

If you believe your situation is an emergency, call 999.

What happens next?

We will contact you to discuss your concerns within three days.

This might involve us completing a referral to enable us to share information with our partners and start the safeguarding process. This will ensure we provide the most appropriate help and support.

No support can be provided to anyone without first obtaining their informed consent.

Any support that we do provide is done so through the Channel programme, an early intervention and multi-agency approach to protect vulnerable people by:

identifying individuals at risk

assessing the nature and extent of that risk

developing the most appropriate support plan for the individuals concerned

We may offer support in the following areas:

support from a specialist mentor

social care support

specialist mental health support

help with accessing appropriate education support

housing support

Causes and signs of radicalisation

Many of the factors that put people at risk of radicalisation are the same as those that put people at risk of becoming involved in drug and alcohol misuse, child sexual exploitation and gangs.

You may notice changes in a person's behaviour, appearance or speech - however, remember there may be other reasons for these changes.

Exploiting vulnerability

The following factors might contribute to a vulnerable person becoming radicalised:

The need for belonging

Bereavement

Looking for a cause or reward

Mental health

Isolation

A sense of injustice or grievance

Access to extremist material online

A desire for power, respect or status

Bullying

Drug or alcohol misuse

Changes in behaviour or appearance

Radicalisation may be accompanied by sudden or gradual changes to a person's behaviour or appearance. This may include some of the following:

Changes in mood, patterns of behaviour or being secretive

Possession of violent extremist literature or use of inappropriate language or speech

Expression of extremist views or sympathy with extremist causes

Seeking to engage or recruit others to support extremist ideologies, extreme groups, social media groups or marches

Preaching or attempting to impose their views on others

Isolating themselves from family and friends

Outbursts of anger

Change in language or use of words

Fixation on a new subject or person

Safeguarding

Those vulnerable to radicalisation must be safeguarded.

Whilst a single factor could be enough to cause someone to become radicalised or to support terrorism, being subjected to a combination of the recognised risk factors can often create the perfect conditions for radicalisation to occur.

There is no single profile of what an extremist might look like or what it is that might cause someone to become radicalised.

Those involved in extremist activity can come from a range of backgrounds with different life experiences - the reasons for becoming radicalised will be unique to them and may take place over an extended period or happen within a very short time frame.

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Are you concerned about someone who is at risk of radicalisation? If so, get in touch with the council's Prevent Safeguarding Team to discuss your concerns. We can support vulnerable people and prevent them from being drawn into extremism or terrorism as part of the UK Government Counter Terrorism Strategy.

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Young addaction is a service that provides drug and alcohol support for young people. Young Addaction work with young people aged 10 to 19 providing advice and support for drugs and alcohol. Our transitional service supports 20 to 24 year olds with additional support needs such as learning disabilities or Mental Health issues.

What do you do?

Stop Drug Use (including alcohol)

Cut Down

Improve Safety

Get Healthy Young

We deliver group work targeted to help to regular drug and alcohol users. In addition we can also support parents and carers with advice on how to speak to engage with their young people about substances. Young addaction also provides C-Card registration and condom demonstration, Hepatitis C testing, Needle Exchange and Safer Injecting advice. We can offer advice around nutrition and exercise to promote natural muscle building. We will contact the young person within two days and offer an appointment within five days.

What age group does young addaction work with?

We work with the ages 10 to 19 years and we also have a 20 to 24 years transitional service.

Do you work with other family members?

Yes, we can offer advice and guidance to families and carers here at young addaction.

Are you limited to working with people from a specific geographical area?

We work with people from Liverpool postcodes only.

Who would someone ask for in the first instance?

You can speak to any of us!

What are your opening times at young addaction?

Our opening times are 9am to 5pm Monday. We deliver detached outreach in various parts of Liverpool on Wednesday and Thursday evenings.

Can you be contacted out-of-hours?

Yes, please leave a message and we will get back to you the next (working) day.

Do you have appointments outside working hours?

We can arrange out-of-hours appointments as appropriate.

Do you have drop-in facilities?

No but we have an answering machine. Leave a message and we'll get back to you.

Where do you see young people?

Young addaction are flexible to see young people in various locations around Liverpool. We can arrange to see young people at their school. We also see young people at Young Addaction at Rotunda College in Kirkdale as well as the Firefit Hub in Toxteth.

Do you take referrals directly from children/young people, parents/carers?

Yes, you can 0151 736 9747 or we can email you a referral form. We also take referrals from any professionals as well as clients and family members.

What kinds of things do young addaction help with?

Young addaction specialise in supporting people with a range of substances including, Alcohol, Cannabis, Cocaine, Mephedrone, Ketamine, MDMA (Ecstasy), New drugs, etc. Young Addaction is a free and confidential service, non-judgemental and client centred. Once in service, Young Addaction can assist with signposting to other services such as education, training, housing, mental health and diversionary activities.

What do you offer?

Our overall aim is to increase young people's health and wellbeing through providing Cognitive Behavioural Approaches and Motivational Skills. We help young people to cut down or give up substances which may be impacting on their health and wellbeing. Young Addaction can deliver group work targeted to help to regular drug users, including binge drinking. Our Amber Room provides:* Condoms and C-Card registration* Hepatitis C testing* Needle Exchange and Safer Injecting advice* Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea urine tests

What happens after a referral is made to young addaction?

We will contact the young person within 2 days and offer an appointment within 5 days. The young person will be assessed around their substance use and any other surrounding problems.

What do you do if a client is not happy with the service at young addaction?

Any client can complain or ask to have a different key worker. Clients are made aware of the complaints procedure.

Do you offer training in your specialist area?

We have a volunteer program for anyone interested in becoming a project worker. You can apply through the Addaction website or call Alison Fleet on 0151 706 9747.

For other support available in liverpool, please visit Support Archive - Liverpool CAMHS

For more information on young addaction please visit Home - We Are With You

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Young Addaction - Drug and Alcohol Support - Liverpool CAMHS

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Stop Drug Use (including alcohol) Cut Down Improve Safety Get Healthy Young We deliver group work targeted to help to regular drug and alcohol users. In addition we can also support parents and carers with advice on how to speak to engage with their young people about substances.

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Ryan’s story: How I started talking about my grief

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Dealing with grief and loss | Mental health advice

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It can be really hard and painful to lose someone you know. Find out how to deal with grief and loss, and what help is available for bereavement.

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Helping a teenager deal with grief can be a daunting task. There are a number of things one should take into consideration when supporting a teen.

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Helping a teenager deal with grief can be a daunting task. There are a number of things one should take into consideration when supporting a teen.

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Supporting children and young people - Cruse Bereavement Support

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Get help with supporting children and young people after a death. Find resources and learn how to refer children to our services.

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Talking to children and young people about suicide

It is natural for a parent or carer to want to protect their child from pain after the death of a loved one, especially a death by suicide. However, a suicide can quickly become public knowledge with police visits, an inquest, media interest and social media, and your child may hear rumours and fragments of information. An honest explanation of the facts, in language appropriate to a child's age, given by people they can trust and who will continue supporting them is often the best protection you can give your child.

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Death Through Suicide | Bereavement Support | Winston's Wish

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It is natural for a parent or carer to want to protect their child from pain after the death of a loved one, especially a death by suicide. However, a suicide can quickly become public knowledge with police visits, an inquest, media interest and social media, and your child may hear rumours and fragments of information.

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Talking to children and young people about suicide

It is natural for a parent or carer to want to protect their child from pain after the death of a loved one, especially a death by suicide. However, a suicide can quickly become public knowledge with police visits, an inquest, media interest and social media, and your child may hear rumours and fragments of information. An honest explanation of the facts, in language appropriate to a child's age, given by people they can trust and who will continue supporting them is often the best protection you can give your child.

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Death Through Suicide | Bereavement Support | Winston's Wish

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It is natural for a parent or carer to want to protect their child from pain after the death of a loved one, especially a death by suicide. However, a suicide can quickly become public knowledge with police visits, an inquest, media interest and social media, and your child may hear rumours and fragments of information.

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Secondary School & Young Adults

Being bereaved at this age is difficult to say the least. We hope to give you some information about what grief may look and feel like for you and some of the natural responses after a bereavement.

We will be there for you when you feel you would like our support. Here are some of the ways in which we can support you through these overwhelming and challenging times:

Grieftalk Helpline

One to one counselling

Group counselling

Therapeutic Workshops

Fun Days Out

Residential

FREE Resources (Workbooks, Grief kits)

We know that it can be scary to engage in this process, but we want you to know that you do not have to do this alone. Grief Encounter are a click or phone call away, where we hope to support you through these overwhelming experiences. If you would like to read some of the natural responses to grief, take a look at our grief guide or give us a call/email.

Contact Us Now

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Being bereaved at this age is difficult to say the least. We hope to give you some information about what grief may look and feel like for you and some of the natural responses after a bereavement. We will be there for you when you feel you would like our support.

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This is a page to help you. Sometimes it can feel like you’re in this alone, but we’re here to prove that you’re not. Watch this short video, so you know what you can expect.We want this to be a safe, lightheartedRead more...

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Losing someone important to you is one of the hardest things to experience in life. If you're young, bereavement can be even more difficult. But support and advice are available to help you get through it.
Your teenage years can be a lot of fun, but they are also often an emotional time. If someone close to you dies, it can be incredibly hard. Your world may feel as though it has crashed down around you.

It can make you feel very alone, especially as a young person, because you might find that none of your friends have gone through anything similar and won't understand or know what to say.

Your emotions after a bereavement

Grieving is a natural part of recovering from a bereavement, and everyone's experience of grief is different. There are no rules about what we should feel, and for how long.

But many people find they feel a mixture of the following:

sadness

shock, particularly if the death was unexpected

relief, if the death followed a long period of illness

guilt and regret

despair and helplessness

depression

These feelings may be very intense, particularly in the early days and weeks. Time eventually helps these intense emotions subside, and there's no need to feel guilty about starting to feel better. It doesn't mean you're not respecting the person's memory or forgetting about them.

Your family may all react differently to a bereavement. You may find it difficult to see your parents or other adults grieving and not know what to say to them. You could try just letting them know you're there for them too while you get support yourself.

There are several things that can help you start to feel better. Looking after your health and talking to someone will help you get through this difficult time.

You can read more about how other young people cope with grief and loss on the YoungMinds website.

Finding support for bereavement

Talking about your grief is an important part of getting through a bereavement. Choosing who to talk to about your feelings is a very personal decision. Sometimes the most unlikely person can actually offer the most support.

If you've lost a family member, someone else in your family may also be good to open up to because they're likely to understand how you're feeling.

A close friend can be a good listener and a source of comfort and support, even if they haven't gone through this themselves.

There are lots of other sources of advice and support available, including:

websites and blogs - such as Hope Again, a website for young people going through a bereavement, where you can find information, read other people's experiences, and add your own; the Winston's Wish and Child Bereavement Charity websites also offer information and advice

helplines - such as the Cruse Bereavement young people's helpline on 0808 808 1677

your GP - especially if you're concerned you're not coping, might be depressed, have trouble eating or sleeping, are thinking about hurting yourself, or you're not starting to feel better after a few months: they may suggest you have counselling

a teacher or tutor - you may be distracted or find it hard to concentrate at school or college for a while, so talking to a teacher you feel comfortable with can help them understand what you're going through and take a bit of pressure off you; special circumstances, such as bereavement, can sometimes be taken into account if you're having trouble with coursework or exams

Looking after yourself during a bereavement

During a time of grief you may not feel like looking after yourself, but it's important to help you cope with the extreme emotions that come with bereavement.

Some of the following quite simple things can make a big difference, such as:

eating - you may lose your appetite, but try to keep eating as normally as possible: your body needs food, even if you don't want it; ideally, go for healthy, well-balanced meals

sleeping - it can be hard to sleep when you're very upset, but there are some things that can help: read 10 tips to beat insomnia for more information

socialising - seeing your friends and keeping up a normal social life may help take your mind off things and allow you to talk about how you're doing, if you want to; but don't feel guilty about not thinking about the person you've lost or having a good laugh with friends

exercising - regular exercise can make you feel good and help you sleep (but avoid doing vigorous exercise close to bedtime); it can also be a relief to focus on something physical when you're going through an emotional time

avoiding smoking, drinking and taking drugs - you may feel like smoking or drinking because you feel down, but your body has to work hard to deal with substances such as nicotine, alcohol or illegal drugs, especially when you're young, and they'll end up making you feel worse

Read more about grief after bereavement or loss.

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Losing someone important to you is one of the hardest things to experience in life. If you're young, bereavement can be even more difficult. But support and advice are available to help you get through it. Your teenage years can be a lot of fun, but they are also often an emotional time.

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If you need help right now

If you feel like you are about to self-harm now, there are things you can do to help keep your mind off it. Watch the video about the TIPP technique - a simple technique you can use to help you in the moment.
If you are in an emergency or worried for your life you should call 999.

Self-harm is when you intentionally cause harm to yourself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings, traumatic experiences or memories, neglect, or situations that you find overwhelming. People sometimes self-harm when life feels hard to cope with.

Self-harm can look different for different people. You might find yourself doing things which are harmful, but not think of them as 'self-harm'. But that doesn't make your experience any less valid.

Self-harm can look like:

cutting yourself

using drugs or alcohol to cope with your problems

not eating, over-eating, or forcing yourself to throw up

spending all your time on addictive behaviours like gaming, social media or gambling

over-exercising and/or exercising when you are injured

biting, hitting or burning yourself

hitting walls

getting into situations on purpose where you risk getting hurt, including fights or risky sexual behaviour

Often self-harming only brings temporary relief. You might also have negative feelings after self-harming, such as guilt, shame or fear. When difficult feelings start to build up again, you might feel like you have to harm again. It can be really hard to break out of this cycle. Self-harming can become a habit and it can be upsetting to think that this is your only way to cope. But there are things you can do to stop self-harming and get better. And with support, you can learn other ways of coping when things feel too much.

People self-harm for many different reasons. Some people find it hard to explain why they do it, but often it's a way for people to let out feelings that are hard to explain or control.

There are many reasons why you might self-harm and these reasons will be different for everyone. You might be dealing with lots of intense thoughts and feelings and hurting yourself might feel like the only way to let those feelings out. Or you might feel numb and want to hurt yourself so that you can feel something.

For some people, self-harm feels like a way to show the feelings they have inside on the outside. It can be a way of:

People often start self-harming due to something stressful or upsetting that is going on in their life that is difficult to deal with . This could be something like:

suffering abuse

experiencing a traumatic incident

family problems like a divorce

money worries

bullying

a sudden change in your life, like a death, a relationship ending or moving school

exam stress or extreme pressure or criticism from family, friends, teachers or at work

low self-esteem or issues with body image

difficult feelings like loneliness, anxiety, depression or anger

an illness or health problem

feelings of guilt, failure, or being unloved

experiencing discrimination against your race, religion, sexuality, gender or disability

These are just examples. Whatever the reason you started self-harming, your feelings matter and you can get through this.

You may not always know the reason why you are self-harming. If you're unsure why, or don't understand the reasons, you are not alone and you can still get help.

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Artwork credit: @the_mini_ADHD_coach

An illustration of a face with eyes closed. Text reads: 'It's ok to feel overwhelmed.'

Things can happen in life that can leave us feeling overwhelmed, angry and hurt. Instead of finding ways to express those feelings to the world, we might start to take this pain and anger out on ourselves.

We might self-harm because we have learnt that in order to be accepted or loved we have to be 'perfect'. When we don't live up to this 'perfect' image we can feel like a 'failure'. The constant guilt, or worry about disappointing people, can make us feel like we need to punish ourselves for not being 'good enough'. If this resonates with you, you're not alone. With the right support, you can stop feeling this way, and learn to love yourself for who you are.

Sometimes people make comments about self-harm being attention-seeking. Comments like this can be hurtful and make you feel judged, alone or misunderstood. Those who self-harm actually often keep this private. However, if you do self-harm as a way of bringing attention to yourself, remember that there is nothing wrong with wanting people to notice you more and wanting to have your feelings taken seriously. You deserve to feel loved by those around you and you deserve support.

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Artwork credit: @ohhappydani

An illustration of six arms all of different skin tones. On each arm reads the word 'worthy'.

Overall, the most important thing which I hope everyone knows is you don't have to go through this alone.

I was only 14 when I started to self-harm. I was never intending to hurt myself. I was doing it for the sense of relief it provided. I felt like the only way I could function and leave my room was if I had that release.

Ways to keep yourself safe now

It's really important to keep yourself as safe as possible and reduce your risk of serious self-injury. Even though you want to stop self-harming, you might not feel able to stop straight away. Sometimes it can take time to find new ways to cope, and that's normal.

If you are unable to stop self-harming right now, make sure you are at least doing it as safely as possible. This means using sterile equipment, keeping your wounds clean, and avoiding mixing drugs and alcohol with other forms of self-harm. You can also call Samaritans at any time - whether you're thinking about self-harm or have already harmed yourself.
If you are in an emergency or worried for your life you should call 999 or go to A&E.

Things you can do to help

There are also lots of things you can do in the moment to help you not self-harm.

When you feel the urge to self-harm building, you could try to:

go for a walk or do some gentle exercise

distract yourself by focusing on your breathing

text a friend and let them know you need them to help you take your mind off things

play music and sing or dance along

hold an ice cube

write down your thoughts

hit a cushion or pillow

tear up a magazine or newspaper

make a self-soothe box

go to a public place like a park or a cafe

You might find the TIPP technique helps to stop your urge to self-harm.

This video explains how to use the TIPP technique to help you feel calmer.

Ways to keep yourself safe in the long term

There are also a number of ways to help yourself in the long term and support your recovery journey.

Talking about self-harm can feel difficult. It is understandable that you might feel nervous to talk to someone, feel like you'll be judged or feel you won't be understood. But talking about how you're feeling with someone you trust can help you to get the right support.

Try talking to someone you feel comfortable and safe with, like a friend or family member. If you don't feel like you can talk to friends or family, you could talk to someone in your wider community, such as a teacher, a school counsellor/nurse, a faith leader or a youth worker. Think about who you would feel most comfortable communicating with and how, whether it's face to face, over the phone, by text or email.

In some communities it can feel more difficult to reach out for help because of certain stigmas around mental health. If you reach out for help and the person you talk to does not react the way you hoped, remember that this reaction is about them, not you. Don't let their reaction discourage you from reaching out again. If you don't feel like you can reach out to someone you know, remember that there are still lots of people who can help. You may prefer to get support from a professional, a helpline or through a charity. Take a look at our list of organisations that can help, and don't struggle on your own.

Speaking to a professional about self-harm can feel scary, but it's often an important step to recovery. You may be worried that you'll be misunderstood or judged, but there are lots of trained people that you can talk to who understand and really care. That's because they speak to lots of young people who are going through this too. They are there to listen and support you.

It is helpful to tell the GP exactly what you are doing and what your worries are. If you need medical treatment for injuries, do make sure you get it. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to go to your GP or hospital for this - they are there to help you get better and it is not their job to judge you.

Your GP will listen and discuss the best options to support you. They might offer you an assessment with a local community mental health team, or if you are under 18, they can refer you to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) for an assessment. These assessments are so they can help you to find the right treatment, such as counselling or talking therapy, where you can talk with a trained mental health professional about what you are feeling and ways you can cope.

The types of talking therapy you might be offered include:

cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) - a type of therapy that focuses on how your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes affect your feelings and actions

dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) - a type of CBT adapted specifically for people who experience emotions very intensely

mentalisation-based therapy (MBT) - a type of therapy that focuses on helping you to make sense of your own and other people's thoughts, feelings and actions

Find out more about counselling and therapy in our guide.

Sometimes the first person you speak to won't help, but that doesn't make your feelings invalid. If you are finding it hard to get the right support from your GP, you may find it helpful to turn to other support, such as your school nurse or a specialist organisation such as Samaritans. For more tips and advice getting the right support from your GP, including information about your rights as a patient, visit our guide on how to speak to your GP about mental health.

Journaling can be a helpful way to let out your emotions. It can also help you to recognise what is bothering you and any patterns in what triggers you or causes you to feel bad.

Take a few minutes every day to write down how you are feeling. If you don't like writing, try doodling, drawing or recording a voice note. Remember this is just a way to express yourself - there's no right or wrong way to do this and nobody has to see it but you.

If you want to, you could show your journal to any mental health professionals who are supporting you, to help them understand what you are going through.

Sometimes just making small changes to your daily routine can help improve your mood. Consider trying some of these changes:

Make sure you get enough sleep and stay hydrated - staying physically healthy can help you to feel happier.

Take time out when you need to - this could be going for a walk, doing some drawing or relaxing however you like to.

Think of three things you are proud of each day - you could do this when you first wake up or just before you go to sleep.

Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend - think about the advice and support you would give someone else if you heard they were struggling.

The internet can be a helpful space for those who self-harm. It offers a lot of information, advice and support. You may also find that it's easier to speak openly about your feelings through social media, rather than face-to-face. However, there is also a lot of content about self-harm on the internet that can be distressing or make you feel worse. We also know that those who have peers that self-harm are more likely to self-harm themselves. Think about how your use of social media is affecting your mood and what content is best for you. Make sure to only follow accounts that make you feel positive and safe.

Some people find it really helpful to create a 'safety plan' that they can use when the urge to self-harm is really strong. This can include whatever you think would be helpful, but generally it includes ideas of what you can do to distract yourself, who you can speak to, and what else you can do to keep yourself safe. Papyrus have a useful guide to creating a safety plan, which might help if you'd like to create your own. Although the focus of their guide is for suicidal feelings, you can use it for self-harm as well.

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Artwork credit: @crazyheadcomics

An image of a bendy road titled 'the road to recovery'. Text along the road reads: 'start', 'progress', 'hope', 'relapse', 'second attempt', 'setback', 'growth', 'change', 'calm'.

If you have self-harmed by cutting or wounding yourself in some way, you are likely to have scars on your body from this. You may find that you have a number of emotions and feelings associated with these scars, such as guilt, regret or difficulties accepting your body image. This can be particularly difficult if you are experiencing stigma around your self-harm.

For advice on how to manage stigma around self-harm within your community, take a look at Louisa's blog.

If you're really struggling with the scars left on your body, you may be able to find treatment that can help. You can find information about scar treatments on the NHS website. Scars will look different for everyone depending on skin tone, where the scar is and the type of wound that caused the scar, and this will lead to different treatment options. Not everyone will want to do this and that is completely okay - it is your body and you should only do what feels comfortable for you.

It can be really difficult if you know a friend or loved one is self-harming. It's hard to see someone you love hurting themself in that way, and it can be difficult to know how best to support them.

Just being there and letting them know they're not alone can be very helpful, but it's also important to remember that you may not be able to help them on your own.

Remember there is always support available.

Recognising the signs and symptoms of self-harm

There are lots of different ways that someone might self-harm and this can make it difficult to spot the signs. Your loved one is likely to be in both physical and emotional pain during this time. Here are some signs to look out for.

If your loved one is self-harming by cutting or wounding themself, you may be able to notice some physical signs. This could include:

keeping their body fully covered all the time, even when it is hot, like wearing long sleeves to conceal scars (this is only a sign of self-harm if they do not normally wear long sleeves or clothes that cover the whole body)

having cuts, bruises or burn marks on their body that are unexplained

unexplained scarring on their skin

unexplained blood stains on clothing or tissues

any signs that they are pulling out their hair, for example hair loss or large clumps of hair lying around

Self-harm takes lots of different forms, not just physically hurting yourself. So it's important to also be aware of the emotional signs. These might include:

becoming very withdrawn and talking less than usual to others

unusual changes in mood, such as feeling low, teary or demotivated

making suicidal comments e.g. talking about not wanting to go on

expressing feelings of self-blame, hopelessness or failure

Supporting a loved one with self-harm now
If a friend or family member has self-harmed and has injuries that need medical attention, you should take them to A&E to seek medical help.
The most important thing you can do to support someone is be there to listen. Talking about self-harm is difficult, but having that conversation can help your loved one take the first step to recovery.

Take a look at our tips below for having a sensitive conversation.

Supporting a loved one with self-harm in the long term

Here are some tips on how you can give ongoing support to someone in your life who is self-harming.

Recovery can only happen when your loved one takes steps towards this for themself. You can't force someone to get better. It can be very difficult to see someone you love struggle with self-harm, but letting them be in control of their decisions will support their recovery in the long term. But remember you should always get them medical attention if needed.

You may find it helpful to develop a 'safety plan' with your loved one. This is a tool you can use to help communicate with each other and keep your loved one safe. Samaritans have advice on this as well as a safety plan template you can use.

Speaking to a GP about self-harm may be a scary thought for your loved one, but encouraging them to do this is important so they get the right support. If they really don't want to talk to a GP, there are also lots of charity services and helplines that can help.

This page was reviewed in June 2023. It was co-created by young people with lived experience of self-harm. We will next review the page in 2026. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Self-harm | Advice for young people | Get help

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Self-harm is when you intentionally harm yourself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings or experiences. Find out about self-harm and how to get help.

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Worried about Self Harm? Download the free Calm Harm app

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Worried about Self Harm? Download the free Calm Harm app

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Calm Harm is a free app to help teenagers manage the urge to self-harm. Available on Google Play & App Store.

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Find out everything you need to know about drugs, their effects and the law. Talk to Frank for facts, support and advice on drugs and alcohol today. | FRANK

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A drug is any chemical that you take in - whether as a pill, a liquid, a powder or in another form - which can affect the way you think, feel and act. This includes alcohol - although we often don't think of it as such, alcohol is a drug.

A drug can be something legal and commonly used, like headache tablets. However, generally when we talk about drugs, we mean illegal drugs or drugs that people take for enjoyment or any other non-medical reason. (When drugs are used in this way, they are sometimes referred to as "recreational drugs".)

Why do people drink or take drugs?

There are lots of different reasons why people might take drugs or drink alcohol. It might be:

to fit in with a group or appear popular

to see what it feels like

because they feel like they should, or they feel pressure to do it

to distract from difficult thoughts or feelings, or to try to make these feelings go away

to feel more confident or able to talk to people

Whatever the reason someone drinks alcohol or takes drugs, it doesn't make them a bad person. But there are laws around drugs and alcohol; and drinking alcohol or taking drugs can have a negative effect on your mental and physical health, so it's important to know the facts and be aware of the risks.

When you take drugs, there is always some risk involved. This is because drugs can affect different people in different ways, and it can be hard to know exactly what you are taking, as you often don't know where the drugs have come from. For more information about how different drugs can affect you, and the risks that come with different drugs, the Frank website is a really good place to start.

The laws around drugs and alcohol

Recreational drugs (drugs that people take for non-medical purposes) fall into one of three groups:

e.g. alcohol and nicotine (cigarettes or vapes)
These are drugs that you can buy legally, though there may be laws around who can buy them. This includes alcohol and nicotine, but also over-the-counter medication like headache tablets.

You must be 18 or over to buy alcohol or nicotine products in the UK. However, if you're 16 or 17 and accompanied by an adult, you can drink (but not buy) beer, wine or cider with a meal.

e.g. cocaine, heroin, marijuana etc.
These are drugs that are against the law to have, use or provide to other people.

e.g. diazepam, methylphenidate, dexamfetamine etc.
These are drugs that are used in medicine and might be given to you by a doctor, but are illegal to have or use if you don't have a prescription for them. It is also illegal to give or sell controlled drugs to anybody else. Your doctor should tell you if they prescribe you a controlled drug.

If you choose to take illegal drugs, remember it can lead to a criminal conviction, which could end up affecting things in your future, like getting a job. And if you're under 18, it's against the law to buy (or try to buy) alcohol, or to drink alcohol in licensed premises like restaurants, pubs, bars and clubs, other than in the circumstances explained above.

You can find out more on the Government's website:
Drugs penalties Alcohol and young people

Can you get in trouble for telling someone that you've taken drugs or drunk alcohol underage?

When you talk to a doctor or other healthcare professional, everything you tell them is confidential - this means that they will not tell anyone else unless you agree otherwise, or they feel that you are in danger of harming yourself or others (if this is the case, they will always try to let you know first). However, if you are under 16 and a doctor or healthcare worker suspects that you are being abused or that you are in danger, they have to report that.

But if you tell them you've voluntarily taken drugs or drunk alcohol underage, they will not report you to the police. In fact, if you think that you have any kind of issue with drugs or alcohol, it's really important that you tell your doctor so that they can help.

The effects of drugs and alcohol on your mental health

Drugs and alcohol can affect your mental health in different ways. The effect they might have can depend on a number of things, such as:

the drug you take

how much you take

how frequently you take it

how you're feeling at the time

the environment you take it in

In the short term, while you're still feeling the effects of drinking alcohol or taking drugs, you may feel:

happy

excited

energetic

relaxed

sociable, or like it's easier to talk to people

tired

sad

anxious

paranoid

impulsive, or less worried about doing things you wouldn't do normally

out of control

Even once the alcohol or drug wears off, it can still have an effect on your mental health. You may find that you feel:

As some drugs such as alcohol make you feel more relaxed, outgoing and sociable, some people use them to help with anxiety in the short term. While this may help reduce feelings of anxiety in the moment, it can have negative long-term effects. For example, you may find that you start to feel as though you "need it" to cope in these situations in future; it may make feelings of anxiety or depression worse once the effects have worn off; or it may make you physically ill.

If you are struggling with anxiety, it is important to get help so that you can develop coping mechanisms that work for you in both the short term and the long term.

For advice on coping with anxiety, have a look at our guide.

Using drugs and alcohol can make any mental health problems you struggle with worse in the long term, and it can even lead you to develop new mental health problems. For example, regular use of cannabis has been linked to the development of psychosis.

If you take drugs regularly, you might reach a point where you feel like the drug is in control of you, rather than the other way around. Maybe you're using it in private, away from friends, and your life revolves around getting more of it. Or perhaps drugs and alcohol are becoming the main things you think about. If so, you could be getting addicted, and addiction is closely linked with mental health problems.

Drugs, alcohol and mental health medication

If you take medication for your mental health, it may change the way that drugs and alcohol affect you. We have more information on our medication pages, but please speak to your doctor for any medical advice.

How to tell if you have a problem with drugs or alcohol

It can be hard to recognise when you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, as this can develop over time without you noticing. Below are some common signs that you might have a problem with drugs or alcohol.

You feel like your drug or alcohol use is no longer under your control, and that you cannot cope without it - you "need" to do it, even if you don't want to.

You build up a tolerance to the drug, meaning you might start to need more and more of it in order to feel the effects.

You get withdrawal symptoms when you don't take it. For example, you might feel sick, anxious or develop a tremor (shakes).

You often have unexplained cuts and bruises, blackouts, confusion and difficulty remembering what happened while drinking or on drugs.

You are feeling secretive and ashamed about what you are doing, or doing it in private or on your own.

What to do if you're struggling with drugs or alcohol

If you're at all worried about your drug or alcohol use, whether you think you are addicted or not, it's important that you reach out for help. Talk to someone you trust about it, whether that's a friend, parent, teacher or counsellor. If drugs or alcohol are affecting your ability to cope in daily life, then you should see your GP.

This may feel scary, but it is the best way to get help and your doctor won't judge you.

Show/hide caption

Illustration by Emily @21andsensory. Black text in the centre of a white background reads, 'believe in yourself and magic will happen.'

You may feel like stopping taking drugs or drinking alcohol is impossible, but you can do it and live a happy life without drugs or alcohol with the right support.

Dealing with peer pressure around drugs and alcohol

When it comes to drugs and alcohol, you may sometimes feel like there is pressure to do something you're not comfortable with because others want you to. This is called peer pressure. You may feel flattered that people want to drink or take drugs with you, but it can also make you feel:

scared

worried

alone

like you need to explain why you aren't joining in

like people will make fun of you or not want to hang around with you if you don't join in

When dealing with peer pressure to drink alcohol, I explain my personal reasons why I choose not to drink, and even though I don't mind others drinking, I've been really put off and it is of no interest to me at all. Usually people can see why I have made that choice and respect it.

It's important to remember that when it comes to drugs and alcohol, the only person who gets to decide what you do is you. It can be difficult saying no, but people who care about you shouldn't push you to do anything you're uncomfortable with.

Frank have ten tips for dealing with peer pressure on their website:

Childline have a guide to being assertive, which you might also find helpful when you want to say no but you're not sure how.

Top tip from our Activists

If your friends often drink alcohol or take drugs, it can sometimes feel like a lot of social activities revolve around that, which can be difficult if you don't drink or take drugs. To get around this, you could try planning activities that don't involve these things. This helps to take away the pressure to drink or take drugs, and allows you to find other things that you and your friends enjoy doing together. For example, you could suggest:

going to the cinema

playing sport

cooking or baking

going shopping

going for a walk

playing video games

Supporting a friend with a drink or drug problem

If you think your friend has developed a problem with alcohol or drugs, it can be really hard to know what to do. You may worry that if you say something to them, they'll be angry at you or start hiding their drink or drug use from you. But you may also worry that if you don't say anything, their problem might get worse.

The best thing you can do is let them know that you are there for them as a friend, and that they can talk to you if they want to. You could start by letting them know that you're worried they may have a problem, and telling them how their behaviour is affecting you or your friendship. It's important to let them know that you aren't judging them, and that you only want to help.

However, if you don't feel able to have that conversation, that's okay too. It is not your responsibility to fix things. Instead, you could try suggesting they use one of the helpline services at the bottom of this page. It's also a good idea to ask for support from an adult you trust, like a parent, teacher or youth worker. You don't have to tell them the name of your friend, but if you think they may be in danger, then this can be a good idea. You can let your friend know that you need to talk to an adult and let them know why. Your friend might find this difficult and ask you not to, but they will eventually understand that you want to help them get through this.

For more information and advice on supporting a friend, have a look at our guide.

You might also find helpful...

Where to get help

See below for a list of organisations and helpline services that can offer you further support.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Drugs and Alcohol | Support For Young People

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Read our guide for the facts on drugs and alcohol, how they can affect your mental health, and advice on what to do if you need support.

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Your mental health | Mental Health Foundation

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Our 'your mental health' section includes practical advice for looking after your mental health, along with statistics, information about what mental health is, podcasts, videos and your stories.

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Established in 1966; YPAS is a charity that supports children, young people and families to address their mental health and emotional well-being difficulties. The delivery of our citywide services includes: primary schools, secondary schools and across 3 community hubs.

Our services and support are for young people and children aged aged 5 - 25 years old.

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Young Person's Advisory Service - Young Person's Advisory Service

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Established in 1966; YPAS is a charity that supports children, young people and families to address their mental health and emotional well-being difficulties. The delivery of our citywide services includes: primary schools, secondary schools and across 3 community hubs. Our services and support are for young people and children aged aged 5 - 25 years old.

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Sexuality and mental health | Understanding Your Sexuality

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Sexuality and mental health – sexuality is the way you describe sexual, emotional and physical feelings or attractions you have towards another person.

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Sexuality and mental health | Understanding Your Sexuality

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Sexuality and mental health – sexuality is the way you describe sexual, emotional and physical feelings or attractions you have towards another person.

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Gender Identity & Mental Health | Guide For Parents

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If your child is transgender or struggling with their gender identity, read our information and advice on supporting them and on where you can get help.

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Supporting a Young Person When They Come Out

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Supporting a Young Person When They Come Out

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I don't think that our eldest son had planned on coming out when he did.

We were having an argument about putting the 'Find my iPhone' app on his phone so we could track him down in case of an emergency. Soon the row escalated into a heated debate about his human rights, and the next thing he blurted out:
"I've got something to tell you. I am gay."
As a parent, however prepared you might be for an announcement of this kind, you can never be totally sure how you are going to react.

Instinctively, I threw my arms around him, told him how proud I was of him and said that we didn't care who he loved as we would always love him. I felt a huge swathe of emotions, but what really broke my heart was the knowledge that he'd known for a while and hadn't been able to share his feelings with anyone. The idea that he had been going through his 'journey' alone was heartbreaking to hear.

He then told his Dad, who reacted exactly as I had hoped and, after more hugs and encouraging words, our son brought the conversation to a close with a 'By the way, what's for dinner?'

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Supporting A Young LGBTQ+ Person When They Come Out

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I don't think that our eldest son had planned on coming out when he did. We were having an argument about putting the 'Find my iPhone' app on his phone so we could track him down in case of an emergency.

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Coping with Anxiety as Lockdown Restrictions Ease

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Coping with Anxiety as Lockdown Restrictions Ease

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Managing Anxiety About The Easing Of Lockdown

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After so long in lockdown, it’s natural to feel some anxiety about restrictions easing. Here three of our bloggers share their feelings and their tips for coping.

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I have struggled with severe binge eating and restrictive dieting for around four years now. My longest period of restrictive dieting recently lasted for a year. Restrictive dieting meant having a daily calorie deficit even if this meant I often went to bed hungry. I became consumed with tracking my calories and felt very guilty for eating over my calorie "allowance". I thought the problem was my weight, but during this period of restrictive dieting, neither my negative self-image nor my physical health improved.

For me, binge eating involves uncontrollably eating large quantities of food without knowing what or how much I have eaten. This behaviour often occurs for me because of guilt, shame, low mood, anxiety, or boredom. Going from restrictive dieting to binge eating - from feeling completely in control of my eating to completely out of control - was a very scary experience, and diet culture made it even more difficult.

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My Experience Of Diet Culture And Disordered Eating

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I have struggled with severe binge eating and restrictive dieting for around four years now. My longest period of restrictive dieting recently lasted for a year. Restrictive dieting meant having a daily calorie deficit even if this meant I often went to bed hungry.

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I often tell people that recovering from an eating disorder is like having a radio in your brain. Most of the time, the volume is pretty much all the way down to zero and you can get through your day barely thinking about it. Other days, the dial is turned up a little higher and those disordered thoughts are a little louder, a little bit more distracting. Then, sometimes, the volume dial gets turned all the way up to the max. Those thoughts become excruciatingly loud and difficult to ignore - almost like someone is screaming all of your worst thoughts...all at once...directly into your ear...with a megaphone.

Here's the thing about eating disorders: they want to be wanted.

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Dealing With Eating Disorder Triggers | Real Stories

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I often tell people that recovering from an eating disorder is like having a radio in your brain. Most of the time, the volume is pretty much all the way down to zero and you can get through your day barely thinking about it.

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Eating disorders are serious mental illnesses affecting people of all ages, genders, ethnicities and backgrounds.

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Abuse in a relationship can take many forms and people of any gender, and any age, can be abusive partners or victims of abuse. Learn how to recognise the signs of abuse in a relationship, and how to seek help.

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Abuse in a relationship can take many forms and people of any gender, and any age, can be abusive partners or victims of abuse. Learn how to recognise the signs of abuse in a relationship, and how to seek help.

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Dealing with sexual harassment

If you have been sexually harassed, it is not your fault and no one should have to put up with it. We have listed a few steps below which could help you deal with it:
Ask them to stop
If you feel comfortable doing so, tell the person that you don't like what they are doing and you want it to stop. If you don't feel safe confronting them, speak to someone else who can help like a trusted adult or friend.
Make a note of what happens
It is a good idea to make note of when and where the sexual harassment happens, and if possible get details of any witnesses. If you are receiving unwanted letters, emails or texts; keep a record of them.
Speak to someone
If you're experiencing harassment it's a really good idea to speak to someone who you trust, like a family member, carer, or teacher. They will be able to help you with next steps, or assist you in finding additional support if you need.

Sometimes it can feel embarrassing or difficult telling a person that you're being harassed but it's important to remember that it is never your fault and your feelings are valid. If you don't feel comfortable speaking to someone you know or would rather tell someone over the phone, there are organisations that you can contact, like Victim Support.

I f you're not sure whether what you're experiencing is harassment, speaking to someone else about it can help put things into perspective and help you to understand what you're going through.
Report it
It is always your decision whether to report harassment. If you report to your school, college or work, they will have to follow up and investigate your report.

If you are in immediate danger, you should call the police on 999.

If you are being sexually harassed at work or by your landlord you are protected by the Equality Act 2010 which categorises sexual harassment under unlawful discrimination. This also includes if you are being treated badly due to your reaction to the harassment. Follow the links below for further help and support:

You may feel that what you've experienced isn't 'serious' enough to report. But if someone has made you feel uncomfortable that is not okay and it is always best to report it. You will be able to get support and advice on what to do next.

If you have been sexually assaulted (which may include being emotionally manipulated or physically forced into performing a sexual act without your consent), you can report this to the police by dialling 999, 101, or visiting your local police station. It is always your choice whether to report something. If you need support, you can contact organisations like Rape Crisis.
Support others
If you've noticed it's happening to another person, try to check that person is okay and offer support in dealing with it. You could help them think about who to speak to next.

You can also report a crime on someone else's behalf, the police will keep a record of the incident and can help you support the person if needed.

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Dealing with sexual harassment If you have been sexually harassed, it is not your fault and no one should have to put up with it. We have listed a few steps below which could help you deal with it: Ask them to stop If you feel comfortable doing so, tell the person that you don't like what they are doing and you want it to stop.

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Seven million of us in the UK, are registered with an online dating service, right now. And it's not hard to understand why - it's an instantaneous, low-effort way to flirt and meet new people.

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Transitioning refers to the process someone coming out and living in their gender identity.

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'Coming out' is when someone tells someone else about their LGBTQ+ identity. Find out about telling someone your gender identity is different to the one you were assigned at birth.

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What is the difference between sex and gender? - Brook

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Gender and sex are two very separate terms, despite people commonly thinking they mean the same thing. Learn about the difference between gender and sex.

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Mental health and emotional wellbeing - Brook

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We all have mental health in the same way we all have physical health. Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing. It affects how we think, feel, and act.

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Samaritans works to make sure there's always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.

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Kooth: Online Mental Wellbeing Community 

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Kooth: Online Mental Wellbeing Community 

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Kooth is your online mental wellbeing community. Access free, safe and anonymous

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Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) - Brook

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A sexually transmitted infection (STI), is basically any kind of bacterial or viral infection that can be passed on through unprotected sexual contact.

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Everyone has different reactions to finding out they're pregnant. Some people will be delighted; others will feel shocked or worried.

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Of course this sounds really boring but you need to be aware of the risks and to know how you can keep things safe, private and legal while you have fun online.

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Contraception: Unsure Which Type is Right For You? - Brook

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On Sunday 23 April at 3:00pm, there will be a national test of the service used to tell people about emergencies like severe flooding, fires, or extreme weather in the UK. Your mobile phone or tablet may make a loud, siren-like sound (even if it's on silent), vibrate or read out the alert.

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Female genital mutilation (FGM), sometimes also called female circumcision or cutting, is a procedure carried out on girls and young women which involves removing some or all of their external genitals.

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Sexual violence is the general term used to describe any kind of unwanted sexual act or activity. It includes sexual assault, rape, sexual abuse and sexual harassment.

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Sexual violence is the general term used to describe any kind of unwanted sexual act or activity. It includes sexual assault, rape, sexual abuse and sexual harassment.

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Consent means agreeing to do something. When it comes to sex, this means agreeing to have sex or engage in sexual activity.

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RASA Merseyside - Here for anyone who has been sexually abused or raped

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RASA is here for anyone who has been sexually abused or raped, or who has been affected by sexual violence at any time in their lives.

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Content warning: This section includes graphic sexual descriptions.

A nude image must include one of the following to be removed:

nude or semi-nude sexual posing

someone nude or semi-nude touching themselves in a sexual way

any sexual activity involving a child

someone hurting someone else sexually

sexual activity that includes animals.

Where possible, it is better if you can upload the original image or video, or a copy of it, rather than a photograph of it on another screen. This helps IWF find the image more accurately.

If you want to report something that isn't a nude image or video to see if it can be taken down, you can see more information from Childline about deleting things shared online here. You can make a report to CEOP, the part of the police who are there to support children and young people online. You can always speak to a Childline counsellor.

Confirming your age with ID gives us more legal powers to remove images from as many places as possible. If you don't have ID or feel comfortable using it, we can still take down images, but from fewer places.

You can use the following ID to confirm your identity using Yoti:

passport or biometric residence permit

driving licence and provisional licence

Young Scot Card (Yoti app only)

CitizenCard (Yoti app only).

If you don't have any of these, you can get a young person's ID card. You'll be able to get this for £5 with the promo code NSPCC5. Make sure you choose 'Yoti CitizenCard' on the first page.

Whatever ID you use, please make sure that it is valid and in-date.

IWF will read all reports within one working day, from Monday to Friday. The time it takes to get your image removed from the internet can be different depending on where the image is hosted.

If the image is on a UK-based website it can often be removed within 2-3 hours. Unfortunately, in some countries it can take longer - sometimes days or weeks. But IWF analysts will always try to make sure it happens as soon as possible.

We'll do our best to let you know once your image has been removed by sending a message to your  Childline locker.

We recommend you check your locker every few days after you make a report. This is so you can see if your image has been removed, and so Childline can let you know if IWF need more information to be able to remove it. Remember, IWF can't contact you directly.

If you need support to help you cope while you're waiting, you can also speak to a Childline counsellor any time.

When you use Report Remove, your image or video is shared with the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF). They'll work to get your image removed from the internet. See 'Who are the IWF?' to learn about how that happens.

Most of the time, nobody will know that you've made a report and your report won't be shared with anyone else.

If the police already have the image or video you report, then they might investigate what's happened. Only the police can decide if they'll need to tell someone else.

The police might already have your image or video if:

someone has reported it on another website and that website passed it to the police

they're investigating someone who had or has the image or video already (if someone is found to have your image and is breaking the law - regardless of how, it may be included as evidence in a criminal case against that person

someone else reported the image to them directly.

Remember that the police are there to protect you, not to get you into trouble. If the image has been reported somewhere else and you're worried, you can always  speak to a Childline counsellor.

If you have parental controls on your phone your parent or carer might see when you want to download a new app, so they might get a notification if you try to download Yoti and want to know why. To avoid this, use the second option to prove your age (called 'ID verification').

The IWF can remove images that are public or available to anyone on the internet. However, they won't be able to remove images or videos on encrypted networks like WhatsApp, or which are saved on a person's phone or computer.

If you're over 13 and you've made a report without using ID, then there may be some sites the IWF can't take images down from.

If you don't use ID the IWF can help by removing your image or video from most sites. If you do use ID, the IWF can remove from all sites

The Internet Watch Foundation (IWF), a UK charity, are there to help remove illegal nude images of under 18s posted online.

Once the IWF has confirmed your nude image is against the law and can be removed from the internet they give it a digital fingerprint called a 'hash'. The hash can be used to find your image online even if it has been cropped or slightly changed.

Sharing just the hash with certain trusted companies and organisations, means that technology can be used to find online matches of the image - this is key to trying to stop it appearing in different places on the internet. Even though the hashes and images are shared with UK police, this is so that if they came across the image some other way, they'd know that you also reported it yourself. Report Remove was developed with the full support of the police and no one involved wants to get you into trouble for sharing the image so it can be removed.

Different companies use the hash in different ways. For example, if an illegal image match is found to have been shared by an online account holder, a company may decide to close that person's account as posting illegal images will be against the company's terms and conditions. If your image(s) are found on or are linked to your online user account(s) it may be possible for the company to associate your profile with the images.

The companies that take the hashes trust the Report Remove process, however if they have significant concerns that the person in the image may not be the person who was age verified, they may get in touch with the IWF to raise their concerns.

There are 3 organisations that help you report your image using Report Remove. These are Childline, the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) and also Yoti if you are 13 or older and choose to prove your age using ID. All of them have a responsibility to keep all of your personal information safe.

1. We'll ask you to choose your age range (under 13, 13-15, 16-17, 18 and over). If you're under 13, you'll go straight to step 3. If you're aged 13 or older, us at Childline will ask you if you have access to ID to prove your age. If you do, you'll be asked to visit Yoti. The only information we will share with Yoti is that you are wanting to prove your age to use Report Remove.

2. Once you prove your age using Yoti, you will come back to Report Remove on Childline. The only information Yoti will share with Childline is confirmation that you're younger or older than 18.

3. We'll then ask you to create or sign in to a Childline account. Then you'll go to the IWF website to share the content you want removed. Childline will only share the information below with IWF:

that you're younger than 18 (either confirmed by Yoti, or that you told us you are younger than 18),

the age range you selected at the start,

a unique number that is created when you use Report Remove.

4. After your report has been passed to the IWF, they will tell Childline if they were able to work to take the images or video down from the internet, and why. This is so Childline can let you know what happened. IWF may also tell Childline some information about what you reported, to help them know how best to support you and keep you safe. IWF will never share an image or video that you report with Childline.

Information you give to Childline
Any information you give Childline will always be treated carefully and in line with our  Privacy Policy. This means that any information you give us as part of Report Remove will only be used to help the IWF review your report and to keep you safe. This will include the age range that you select and a unique number that's created when you go onto the IWF website. We will not share any of your information with Yoti.
Information you give to IWF
The only information you will give to the IWF are the images, videos or URLs you report. There is space to add information such as where the image or video is on a webpage.

They will process this in line with their privacy policy.

Nude images and videos that IWF decide are illegal may be kept by the IWF for up to 2 years. This is because there is an agreement with the Police and CPS (Crime Prosecution Service), called a 'Memorandum of Understanding' (MOU). Illegal images are given a hash (a string of numbers that are like a digital fingerprint). The hash is shared with organisations such as technology companies who host online content, so that they can look for the image and take it down. The actual image is not shared with these companies. The image and the hash are shared with the police who store it on their Child Abuse Image Database. Any images or videos that they decide are not illegal may be kept for a maximum of 6 months for quality checking and any follow up questions. They will then be deleted. Sometimes, even if it's decided that the content isn't illegal, IWF can share the content URL with some industry members to see if they can take the content down.

If you report a URL (link to a webpage), and choose not to prove your age using ID, IWF will still check to see if the content is something they can take action on. If so IWF may share the URL with South West Grid for Learning (SWGfL), who are a charity who help people who have had intimate images of them shared online. SWGfL will never view the content on a URL that is shared with them. SWGfL send a notice to internet companies that host the webpage you reported, to tell them to take it down. This is because IWF can only send a notice to companies to take a specific webpage down when it is confirmed it is of a child. SWGfL can also send notice to take down content, but they do not need to prove it is of a child. This helps get your images or videos from even more places.

Childline will never see what pictures, videos or URLs you share with the IWF. The only information the IWF shares with Childline apart from your case number is whether or not they could take down your images or videos, and why, so we can let you know, as well as information about the image or video that you reported that will help Childline to support you and keep you safe.

Information you give to Yoti
You can choose to use Yoti to confirm your age if you're over 13. This may involve taking a selfie, so Yoti know it is you who are proving your age, and uploading a picture of some ID. Any personal data you send Yoti - like your photo, date of birth or address - is scrambled with a high level of encryption so that even if it was stolen, no one could use it to identify you. The only information Yoti shares with Childline is confirmation that you're under or over 18.

You can see Yoti's privacy policy here, and more information about their age portal here, which is what is used in Report Remove to prove your age.

If you're using the Yoti app, Yoti may use the selfie, month and year of birth you add to the Yoti app to improve its age estimation technology. You can opt out from this in the More> My Data> Biometric consent menu of the app.

There are lots of ways to get help with your report:

if you're having problems with Yoti, you can contact them directly in the app.

if you need any support with making your report send a message to Childline with the title 'Report Remove'.

Childline counsellors are always here for you and want to help. And you can  talk to them  about anything you're going through.
I have a technical issue, what should I do?

Try using your default browser and close private browsing if you're using the Yoti app.

See if you can log in to your locker and send an email to Childline explaining your problem and the team will be able to help.

Make sure the ID you're using is valid and in-date (not expired).

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Use Report Remove to remove a nude image shared online

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News & Campaigns - Papyrus UK | Suicide Prevention Charity

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Find all the latest Papyrus UK news & campaigns here | Papyrus UK - Suicide Prevention Charity | Call the HOPELINE on 0800 068 4141

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PinkNews | Latest lesbian, gay, bi and trans news | LGBTQ+ news

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LGBTQ+ news, features and opinion from the UK and worldwide. PinkNews leads the way in gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender news.

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Information and support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) communities and their allies on issues including asylum, coming out, criminal law, discrimination, hate crime, parenting rights, and LGBT partnership rights.

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Phone and Online Support, from 5pm-midnight.

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Phone and Online Support, from 5pm-midnight.

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Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)

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It can be difficult to know what to do if you're worried that someone close to you is at risk of suicide. Our helpline is there for everyone, not only those in crisis, so you can call to find out more information on how you can help. You can also find support information on our worried about someone page, and our help section has information on particular issues.

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Get Help & Support With CALM's Helpline & Webchat

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Get help with CALM's helpline and webchat. We are here to listen, support, inform & signpost with our free, confidential and anonymous services. Contact us today.

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How to 'SHOUT' for help if you’re feeling low, anxious, worried, lonely, overwhelmed or suicidal. 

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How to 'SHOUT' for help if you’re feeling low, anxious, worried, lonely, overwhelmed or suicidal. 

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Our trained volunteers are there for you 24/7 to listen and support you to get to a calmer and safe place. Shout is a free, confidential, anonymous service for anyone in the UK. It won't appear on your phone bill.

To start a conversation, text the word 'SHOUT' to 85258.

If your life is at imminent risk, call the emergency services on 999.

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Our trained volunteers are there for you 24/7 to listen and support you to get to a calmer and safe place. Shout is a free, confidential, anonymous service for anyone in the UK. It won't appear on your phone bill. To start a conversation, text the word 'SHOUT' to 85258.

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Advice and support for anyone affected by an eating disorder

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Advice and support for anyone affected by an eating disorder

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Struggling with an eating disorder? Caring for someone who is? Beat is here to support you.

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Suicide Awareness and Self Harm - Advice for Parents and Carers

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Suicide Awareness and Self Harm - Advice for Parents and Carers

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Samaritans works to make sure there's always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.

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Young Minds: Mental Health Support for Young People

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Young Minds: Mental Health Support for Young People

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YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People

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YoungMinds are a mental health charity for children, young people and their parents, making sure all young people can get the mental health support they need.