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5. I left my home for freedom in Europe but I’m terribly lonely.

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5. I left my home for freedom in Europe but I’m terribly lonely.

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Q: I am a 30-year-old guy and I am really lonely. I was born in Iran and was raised in a conservative family and society. I went to university there and graduated with a master’s degree in English language studies. I am now at university in Germany, but I am not able to make friends with girls. I have no proper job, no future and not even a friend. I tried online dating sites; they don’t work. What is wrong with me? I even think of ending my life. I do not have any future going back to a country which does not accept me when I do not believe in Islam.

Dear Q.

Dear Mr. Q. I can say that problems has solution in the life. If you have life always there is a reason to live.  You are a person very clever.

You must not be alone right now. You have to looking for people with your same dreams and thoughts. You should go to with a psychologist immediately and you will follow the recommendations of the doctor.

I think that you would go to an idioms club to know interesting woman also you shall practice English language. Additionally, you might found a fine job in this club.  You can speak English then you could work in an institute of idioms.

Besides, you ought to travel to other countries, for example Colombia, to cities such as Bogotá or Medellin.

In Medellin the people are very friendly and hardworking. In Medellin there are many Institutes of idioms such: Smart, Colomboamericano, EAFIT University, and more. If you have a level B2 or C1 in English you will work in these centers.

Mr. Q and the more important, in Colombia there are many beautiful, smart and loving women.

You could live in Colombia then you would like to live here. You will get married and have children, a good job and you would be very happy.

A big hug.
Andrea.

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Q: I’m a 16-year-old student harbouring ardent feelings for a teacher. She’s an absolutely wonderful (in my view, angelic) human being, who seems utterly devoted to what she does and is terribly cordial to us students. It is out of awe for her personality, and gratitude for how she’s made a mark in my life, that I feel so attached to her. She’s in her late 20s, I suppose, but I feel she could be 18. My feelings are not sexual, but my social circles make barely any room for this possibility. I can find little solace in my friends for fear that they’d mock me because she’s not considered a looker. I feel an urge to tell her how amazing and adored she is, but fear she’ll be threatened or affronted, or that she’ll feel pained for me and not know how to respond.
Agony Aunt words
Dear Q, I have just considered your situation and I think you might want to know that a teenager student harbouring ardent feelings for his teacher is relatively normal. You must recognize that her professionalism and cordiality are confusing your reality further more you should recognize that she’s around her 30s and she could almost be your mother.  You say your feelings are not sexual; really? Then what do you want her for?  Q, you should find out why your intentions are not sexual because it might mean the serious crush you are having on your teacher is not an erotic love but a filial one.  Perhaps, you can´t find solace in your friends because she’s not a looker and may be they are being sincere, she is not so pretty, and none the less you sense her with distorted eyes. You shall confess her the truth, but slow, not all at once. Let her imagine what your words do not say; that´s what you really should do; you have no reason to delay longer the fact. As she´s ethics and experience, yours would not be her first time; along her career she must have confronted the situation many times, she would understand your situation and she would know how to respond.  When should you make the confession? I think you could ask her for a meeting after class. You shall be lucky: Women love to be loved.

Your wizard of Oz

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3. My daughter is dating a man more than twice her age.

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3. My daughter is dating a man more than twice her age.

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Q: I have a 23-year-old daughter. Her mother and I split up when she was seven due to her mother’s infidelity. I still see my daughter regularly and she is close to my wife and the two other children we have. My daughter didn’t have a “proper” boyfriend until she was in her late teens. Last week I was informed that her new boyfriend is a little older than her. It transpires he’s 48! He also has a wife and two children who he is preparing to leave to be with my daughter. I am, in equal measures, furious, horrified, embarrassed, ashamed and desperate. This new boyfriend is older than my wife, who is 46. I am 55. My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner. How should I handle this? I am too embarrassed to talk to my friends about it.

A: I see your situation and the dilemma that you face but let me say that the problem is the attitude that you have. First take in mind that it can be very difficult at fist to have the first "propper" boyfriend. You would take in mind that she is an young adult but she must take in her hands the responsability of her life. Remember that she desires to be happy with her relation and tray to oppose this, can result like an upside-down effect and .  They can solve their problems alone.

Would you help her? Of course you ought to, but don’t try to impose your decision; you must be support for your daughter. You need to meet her daughter and speak directly but you mustn’t be aggressive or reflect your inner emotion. You must be compassionate toward her feelings and put yourself in her shoes, you need to be only her hold.
Remember that she wants strike up a frienship with you

Do you prefer that your daughter has a frustrate engagement or maybe she can feel distaste for your intervention or have an argument with her for this decision. In the adulthood people do not like others have control or stay in the middle. You can take things at the time, first go to the appointment and be polite. Would you consider treating her with much attention; she must be happy to introduce her new boyfriend to you; second listen very attentive at his words and the way that he is with she, do not let her alone, and finally do not strive to impose your choices.

Agony Aunt

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4. My family is great, but I feel as though I have no real friends.

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4. My family is great, but I feel as though I have no real friends.

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Q: I am 38, happily married with two children and have a job I enjoy. However I have found myself plagued by anxiety about friendships and feelings of loneliness. Since having children I seem to have been on a roller-coaster of friendships. As our lives have evolved, people have drifted away. I now feel I am left with acquaintances (mainly school mums) rather than actual friends. I find WhatsApp groups stressful and can’t go on Facebook, as I feel jealous when I see events where I haven’t been included. Some of my pre-children friends remain, but busy lives and distance mean I only see them a couple of times a year. I’ve given up on phone calls, as people only seem to want to text! I just don’t know how I can get out of this spiralling anxious mindset. Will it improve when my children are older, or without play dates will my social life dry up altogether?

Dear Q

I received your letter.

I think your situation will improve when your children are older, because it will have more time for you, but you should not wait for that to happen since the time is too short. You must give yourself the opportunity to make friends in your work environment, go out, share life experiences. You should establish relationships with neighbors, go out on weekends, attend social gatherings and other activities in which you are in contact with other people. Would you like to try it?

I might say that you are a person who does not have a preference for virtual links, so you can have friends in person and establish a regular meeting schedule, for example: one day a week, share a coffee, go for a walk and talk about themes of interest. I will that you get a true friendship, feelings of loneliness will get away from you if you succeed, in our daily lives, you should have people in whom you can share joys and sorrows.

affectionately

Aunt Agony