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Connecting with another person is one of the highest forms of social being for humans. At the heart of it is good storytelling. When I'm telling you a story, and you're engaged in it, you match your brain waves to mine. If I'm telling you a story with a familiar structure, your brain actually anticipates what I'm going to say next. The point is that that's good for both parties. We want to be in sync with other people. It's how we communicate well with others and it's why good storytelling is so powerful. That feeling of synchronization is a profoundly satisfying one. We want to hear stories, especially ones where we can guess what's going to happen next, a split second before we're told.

So, when communication works, we are literally aligned with one another, down to our very brain patterns. That's both inspiring and reassuring to know; when we communicate successfully, we are actually experiencing the same thing.

We are not alone.
How to Tell a Great Story
So how do you tell great stories or, more precisely, how to turn your passion, your message, your vision into a great story?

Everyone seems to understand that storytelling is important, because we're awash in data and information and can't remember it all. But we do remember stories.

Stories are even more important than that. They are how our brains work. For example, they are why we all feel that it's safer to drive than fly, even though the statistics prove the opposite. We remember the horrifying stories of plane crashes and forget the stats. That's because we attach emotions to events to create stories and memories. Our brains are constructed that way. So storytelling is essential if you want to use the brain the way it's meant to be used. We remember the emotional, the particular, and the violent especially. We forget the boring, the general, and the anodyne.

But let's start with what storytelling is not. Let's clear away the detritus and get to the core.
Stories Are Not about Beginnings, Middles, and Ends
My favorite wrong cliché about storytelling is the oft-cited "it has a beginning, middle, and an end." Well, yes. But so do pencils. As a definition, this one is not specific enough to be helpful. Airplane flights, dentist appointments, and pencils all have beginnings, middles, and ends, but they are not stories. They might become the fodder for stories, but stories in themselves they are not.

Forget this one. It's not helpful.
Stories Are Not Anecdotes
My next favorite spurious cliché about storytelling is that what happened the last time you visited a client site is a story. It's not, unless a conflict developed at your client site, leading to a crisis, it was resolved in some way, and someone-the hero-changed deeply and profoundly because of it. Rather, it's an anecdote. We relate anecdotes to each other all the time- I was at the drugstore and guess who I saw? My old college buddy Aaron! That's an anecdote, or at least the beginning of one. It may even be fascinating, but it's not a story.
More next time on what a story is and is not.

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Connecting with another person is one of the highest forms of social being for humans. At the heart of it is good storytelling. When I'm telling you a story, and you're engaged in it, you match your brain waves to mine.

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Did you know?

Sympathy and empathy both refer to a caring response to the emotional state of another person, but a distinction between them is typically made: while sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing something difficult or painful, empathy involves actively sharing in the emotional experience of the other person.

Sympathy has been in use since the 16th century, and its greater age is reflected in its wider breadth of meanings, including "a feeling of loyalty" and "unity or harmony in action or effect." It comes ultimately from the Greek sympathēs, meaning "having common feelings, sympathetic," which was formed from syn- ("with, together with") and páthos, "experience, misfortune, emotion, condition." Empathy was modeled on sympathy; it was coined in the early 20th century as a translation of the German Einfühlung ("feeling-in" or "feeling into"). First applied in contexts of philosophy, aesthetics, and psychology, empathy continues to have technical use in those fields that sympathy does not.

Did you know?

Compassion and empathy both refer to a caring response to someone else's distress. While empathy refers to an active sharing in the emotional experience of the other person, compassion adds to that emotional experience a desire to alleviate the person's distress.

... the story of Nellie Bly, the first female investigative reporter, who not only demanded justice from powerful institutions, but also insisted on dignity and compassion for the most vulnerable citizens. - The Christian Science Monitor, 17 Aug. 2022

Blonde clearly wants us to feel for Norma Jeane, but it dwells on her pain so obsessively ... that the movie's empathy feels like another form of exploitation. - Justin Chang, NPR, 23 Sept. 2022

The distinction between compassion and empathy is frequently a topic of exploration.

By empathy I mean feeling the feelings of other people. So if you're in pain and I feel your pain-I am feeling empathy toward you. If you're being anxious, I pick up your anxiety. If you're sad and I pick up your sadness, I'm being empathetic. And that's different from compassion. Compassion means I give your concern weight, I value it. I care about you, but I don't necessarily pick up your feelings. ... [I]f I feel compassion for you, I'll be invigorated. I'll be happy and I'll try to make your life better. - Paul Bloom, quoted in Vox, 16 Jan. 2019

Compassion is a much older word; it's been part of the language since the 14th century, and comes ultimately from Latin com- and pati, meaning "to bear, suffer." Empathy is a 20th century coinage modeled on sympathy as a translation of the German Einfühlung ("feeling-in" or "feeling into"). It was first applied in contexts of philosophy, aesthetics, and psychology and continues to have technical use in those fields.

Example Sentences

He felt great His months spent researching prison life gave him greater empathy with the poor. empathy towards convicts.

These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word 'empathy.' Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback.

Word History

Greek empatheia, literally, passion, from empathēs emotional, from em- + pathos feelings, emotion - more at pathos

1909, in the meaning defined at sense 2

The first known use of empathy was in 1909

Dictionary Entries Near empathy

Cite this Entry

More from Merriam-Webster on empathy

Subscribe to America's largest dictionary and get thousands more definitions and advanced search-ad free!

Merriam-Webster unabridged

Challenging Words You Should Know

Often used to describe "the march of time," what does inexorable mean?

Can you make 12 words with 7 letters?

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the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit... See the full definition

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story

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This is a short little story of unconditional love that will be certain to make your day!

An elderly man hurried to his 8:00am doctor appointment, he wanted to finish quickly so that he could get to another appointment. The doctor asked what it was, and the old man proudly said that every morning at 9:00am he would go to the hospital and have breakfast with his wife.

The doctor asked what her condition was, and he replied that for the past 5 years his wife has had Alzheimer's and hasn't known who he is. The doctor asked the old man why he continued to visit her of she had no idea who he was...and the old man replied..." Because I still know who she is."

Beautiful words of unconditional love.

I hope this little story made your day and put a smile in your heart!!

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This is a short little story of unconditional love that will be certain to make your day! An elderly man hurried to his 8:00am doctor appointment, he wanted to finish quickly so that he could get to another appointment.

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Defintion

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Did you know?

Sympathy and empathy both refer to a caring response to the emotional state of another person, but a distinction between them is typically made: while sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing something difficult or painful, empathy involves actively sharing in the emotional experience of the other person.

Sympathy has been in use since the 16th century, and its greater age is reflected in its wider breadth of meanings, including "a feeling of loyalty" and "unity or harmony in action or effect." It comes ultimately from the Greek sympathēs, meaning "having common feelings, sympathetic," which was formed from syn- ("with, together with") and páthos, "experience, misfortune, emotion, condition." Empathy was modeled on sympathy; it was coined in the early 20th century as a translation of the German Einfühlung ("feeling-in" or "feeling into"). First applied in contexts of philosophy, aesthetics, and psychology, empathy continues to have technical use in those fields that sympathy does not.

Did you know?

Compassion and empathy both refer to a caring response to someone else's distress. While empathy refers to an active sharing in the emotional experience of the other person, compassion adds to that emotional experience a desire to alleviate the person's distress.

... the story of Nellie Bly, the first female investigative reporter, who not only demanded justice from powerful institutions, but also insisted on dignity and compassion for the most vulnerable citizens. - The Christian Science Monitor, 17 Aug. 2022

Blonde clearly wants us to feel for Norma Jeane, but it dwells on her pain so obsessively ... that the movie's empathy feels like another form of exploitation. - Justin Chang, NPR, 23 Sept. 2022

The distinction between compassion and empathy is frequently a topic of exploration.

By empathy I mean feeling the feelings of other people. So if you're in pain and I feel your pain-I am feeling empathy toward you. If you're being anxious, I pick up your anxiety. If you're sad and I pick up your sadness, I'm being empathetic. And that's different from compassion. Compassion means I give your concern weight, I value it. I care about you, but I don't necessarily pick up your feelings. ... [I]f I feel compassion for you, I'll be invigorated. I'll be happy and I'll try to make your life better. - Paul Bloom, quoted in Vox, 16 Jan. 2019

Compassion is a much older word; it's been part of the language since the 14th century, and comes ultimately from Latin com- and pati, meaning "to bear, suffer." Empathy is a 20th century coinage modeled on sympathy as a translation of the German Einfühlung ("feeling-in" or "feeling into"). It was first applied in contexts of philosophy, aesthetics, and psychology and continues to have technical use in those fields.

Example Sentences

He felt great His months spent researching prison life gave him greater empathy with the poor. empathy towards convicts.

These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word 'empathy.' Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback.

Word History

Greek empatheia, literally, passion, from empathēs emotional, from em- + pathos feelings, emotion - more at pathos

1909, in the meaning defined at sense 2

The first known use of empathy was in 1909

Dictionary Entries Near empathy

Cite this Entry

More from Merriam-Webster on empathy

Subscribe to America's largest dictionary and get thousands more definitions and advanced search-ad free!

Merriam-Webster unabridged

Challenging Words You Should Know

Often used to describe "the march of time," what does inexorable mean?

Can you make 12 words with 7 letters?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit... See the full definition