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Sentence fragments and run on sentences

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I can work on getting deeper and analyzing more and connecting it back to the thesis.

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Groups probably could of worked together better in order to help the writing flow smoother, and some editing could be used as well to help.
-Cassie Traicoff

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I could improve on my analysis and transitions. 

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I could improve on my analysis and transitions. 

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Natalie Bluth

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I also need to work on analyzing on a deeper level and explaining more.

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Better transitions and better use of commas..

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I wasn't able to go deep enough even though I had some good evidence.

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I could work on improving my word choice and using higher level words.

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I took too long in my paragraph to really get to the good stuff. I need to work on making it all work well together.

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1. deeper analysis
2. introduction and conclusion

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I had some good points along with some good evidence. I was able to tie it back to the thesis.

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connecting evidence back to thesis in a well written manner..

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connecting evidence back to thesis in a well written manner..

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When writing my paragraph, I tend to repeat myself. I should work on saying my point clearly and concisely.

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opening up our vocabulary

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transitions and introduction

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Of the essays I read, many of them didn't have a conclusion.

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Deeper conclusions from evidence, less surface level explaination

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Play with structure to have more voice.

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Structure paragraphs more, they were a lil all over the place

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The essays seemed very formulaic, which at best, according to the AP scale, puts you at a 6 or below. Work on being a little more human than being a robot. That's all.

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the analysis of evidence was repeated several times

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Essays had good introductions, remembering the TAG and including a clear thesis.

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Group Unity

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i think that if anything the conclusion of our group was lacking and could have used more

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we couldve used better vocab

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One of the essays had contradicting points in different paragraphs.

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Some of the diction in the essays were very casual and did not exhibit AP level writing.

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Many essays lacked a conclusion. If you are running low on time, even one last conclusion sentence makes a difference.

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Did not include all information we should have had.

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Did not include all information we should have had.

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- try to analyze on a deeper level
- tie back to thesis

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Connect all interpretations to a theme for deeper analysis.

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-lucas

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I found that many of the essays struggled with transitions. They were there but it did not transitions well into the next paragraph.

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I can work on having more creative introductions.

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Some got a little hard to read. Some issues were the flow, too ambitious vocab or run on sentences.

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Most essays were able to answer the prompt with having a consistency involving the thesis in some way, which is always awesome.

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-lucas

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1.) I need to work on using more evidence to back up my claims
2.) I also need to have more out of the box explanations to answer the prompt

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The word choice was good in most of the essays as well. It was coherent and transitioned well.

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i think the flow of our esaay was amazing

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i think the flow of our esaay was amazing

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christian

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Personally, I need to work on going more in depth with my analysis of the quotes I use, and not ending explanations open-ended.

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good incorporation of the text throughout the essay

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I can work on using higher vocabulary words.

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Conclusions simply restate theses and are boring.

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1. making introductions longer but not repetitive
2. using evidence and analysis in a balanced way, not too much analysis or too much evidence

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Some essays unfortunately lacked citation for their evidence, and some introductions lacked a proper thesis.
-Cassie Traicoff

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Many people got very into the writing and added many details and even more evidence than necessary.

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essays had unique diction

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Structuring/outlining the essay before writing it.

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The other essays did well in addressing the prompt of whatever they had. They made sure all the aspects of the prompt were in the essay and touched on.

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1. Some essays had more of a summary than an analysis
2. Some people did not use enough evidence when others used too much

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When discussing imagery, interpretation is basic.

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Many had insufficient explanation of sources.

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Many had insufficient explanation of sources.

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Sometimes certain essays would have too much direct quotes rather than elaboration about that evidence.

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Having a wider range of vocabulary.

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1. Trying to maintain voice so that the essay flows.
2. Making sure that you are including enough evidence to show multiple points that support your overall argument.

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In the future, I'd like to work to improve the general organization of my writing, and try to make my writing a little bit more concise.

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-Lucas

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my groups essay had a strong use of evidence and i feel like it really brought the maturity of the writting up.

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Some of the essays could have used stronger vocabulary.

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Good Content and evidence

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-Lucas

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1.For one of the essays I read, it leaned towards plot summary instead of actual analysis.
2. Also, one paragraph attempted to identify elements and how they were used but it didn't analyze it deeply.

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- transitions between paragraphs were typically pretty awkward or abrupt
- Evidence wasn't properly cited

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Getting to the point of the writing and sticking to it.

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All of the essays had well written conclusions

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All of the essays had well written conclusions

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-Lucas TR

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I found a lot of essays had issues with properly citing their evidence, even though most used a lot of it. And some conclusions I read didn't tie in the introduction properly or nicely.

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getting a better grasp on the intro

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Good attention getters/support of evidence

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Good attention getters/support of evidence

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Every essay I read had a great hook, and the use of diction was often very beneficial to their points.
-Cassie Traicoff

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Many essays gave large chunks of evidence and then had little explanation. It's better to have embedded quotes, with in-depth explanations that connect back to the thesis.

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1) Evidence was well selected to answer prompt
2) good flow especially for it being multiple people making it
Arianna Vakselis

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A lot of the essays I read had introductions and conclusions that didn't match the quality of their body paragraphs and analysis, and some had thesis statements that didn't go into enough depth to satisfy the prompt.

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I found that several of the essays I read had strong introductions rather than the basic "TAG."

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1. Sometimes there wasn't enough  evidence to develop the point overall.

2. Some sentences lacked cohesiveness which made them difficult to read.

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1. Elaborate more
2. add more evidence and more transitions

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Alot of times the writing tended to ramble on to some topic not quite related.

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All essays had required sources, and many went above and beyond quoting many sources.

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All essays had required sources, and many went above and beyond quoting many sources.

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There was never too much evidence.

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1. finding sufficient amount of evidence to support the analysis
2. Good transitions in the paragraphs and between paragraphs.

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Evidence was good in all of the essays. there was more than 2 in each paragraph and it went well with the analysis.

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1. needs more elaboration
2. needs more transitions

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While reading different essays, some strengths that I found was that many of them had done well with flowing the entire essay together. It was put together well and the ideas were flowing well.

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- strong introductions and   conclusions
- good use of evidence

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The evidence for the essays I read were very well supported and efficiently developed their claims. They continued to back up their claims by going in-depth on analysis.

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All the essays I read had good vocabulary. They were well spoken and well put together.

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1) Conclusions/ intros
2) explanation of evidence
Arianna Vakselis

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Some essays did a great job analyzing rather than summarizing.

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Everyone knew how to do in-text citations.

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Great diction and word choice, along with good structure. Also most essays were able to completely answer the prompt.

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The essays I read all had great choices of evidence for the most part, and their writing style was really good with few errors.

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The essays...
1. answered the prompts
2. related their evidence back to the thesis

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From the essays I read, I noticed that there was less direct quoting and more elaboration than I have seen in the past.

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1. they answered the prompt
2. had a complete thesis
3. good diction and syntax overall

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The essays I read had strong, fluid structure.