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The third and final freeze frame, was to show that even in death, the bear was still something that’s oils have been used by her for a certain level of comfort and to just have something there with her and to never be alone, however I don’t think I showed this as well as I could have.

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For this second freeze frame, my character was older but still a child, this was when she was in a therapy session after having to be sent back to the mental hospital and was explaining why she had to be brought back.

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These were still images but of how our characters would use our chosen prop throughout the play and why they use it like this. This first one is as my character was being given the prop, a teddy bear. She was given this on her first trip to the hospital - which was as a child and how it was first introduced to her as something to help comfort her.

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I chose the monologue - Phychosis. Its a play about mental illness and the perspective of the person speaking. At this point in the play they're - the character speaking - annoyed with all of the doctors 'treating' them and are expressing their thoughts.

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"A room of expressionless faces staring blankly at my pain, so devoid of meaning there must be evil intent"
-> say without expression - blank
"Dr. This and Dr. That and Dr. Whatsit who's just passing -> standing and leaning against a chair -> by and though he'd pop in to take the piss as well"
-> walk around the chair and harshly sit down on it
"Burning in a hot tunnel of dismay, my humiliation complete as I shake without reason"
-> start too stutter as you talk"
"and stumble over words and have nothing to say about my so called"
-> without emotion state
"illness"
-> let out a dry sigh
"which anyway amounts only to knowing that there's no point in anything because"
-> in a quiet, happy and pleasant tone tone
"I'm going to die"

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today during the lesson i have been researching about the background information of my script and its characters, i have yet to finish so once i'm done i will upload it all onto here

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Still images: of your character
1) beginning of monologue

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Still images: of your character
2) middle of monologue

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Still images: of your character
3) end of monologue

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Still images: of your character
1) a picture before the play

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finished research and context

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-> talk quicker and gradually get louder
"Inscrutable doctors, sensible doctors, way-out doctors, doctors you'd think were fucking patients if you weren't shown proof otherwise, ask the same questions, put words in my mouth, offer chemical cures for congenital anguish and cover each other's arses"
-> shout
"until I want to scream for you,"
-> look pained and hurt as you breathe heavily
"the only doctor who ever voluntarily touched me, who looked me in the eye, who laughed at my gallows humour spoken in the voice from the newly-drug grave, who took the piss when I shaved my head, who lied and said it was nice to see me."
-> huff out a scoff
"Who lied. And said it was nice to see me."

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Still images: of your character
3) after the play

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this is the set up or setting of my monologue

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- today I have been concentrating on making sure that my performance has been realistic and shows how what happens in the play does occur frequently in reality, trying to show that its not just a performance
- in doing this I have also been learning my lines more thoroughly and practicing as if it was my proper performance

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the line i have been using for this is "Dr this and Dr that and Dr whatsit who's just passing and thought he'd pop in to take this piss." I decided to choose this line because it rather repetitive and you can portray many different emotions with these simple lines.
1) emotions: the first thing i listened for would be which emotion sounds best to portray in that situation. For example; saying it sadly made the character sound as if they were giving up and too hopeless to even try to make an effort with anything, i decided - with the help of my sister - that the patient would sound more vexed and annoyed by any presence of the doctors 'helping' them, so of course i decided to try a more annoyed approached. This sounded better for the character as it showed how done they were with the doctors and desperate they were about resisting
2) pace: i decided to focus on how fast i should be talking next. I chose that speaking at a faster pace would be more effective for this specific line as it expressed the aggression that was building up on the patient.
3) projection: lastly i decided to think about the projection of my voice because as much as i wanted to make the characters emotions show, i didn't want it to seem as though i was continuously shouting out at or to the audience, but also maintain the clear annoyance and fury of the patient towards the doctors.

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-> pause and start speaking with a lower pitch and disgusted tone of voice
"And I am deadlocked by that"
-> say it a fake sweet tone
"smooth psychiatric"
-> return to the previous pitch
"voice of reason which tells me there is an objective reality"
-> scoff anf give a look of disbelief "in which my body and mind are at one."
-> pause and change facial expression
"But I am not here and never have been. Dr this writes it down and Dr that attempts a sympathetic murmur."
-> start off speaking slowly and lowly
"Watching me, judging me, smelling the crippling failure oozing from my skin,"
->stand up and knock over the chair, start to speed up and raise your voice
"my desperation clawing and all-consuming panic drenching me as I gape in horror at the world and wonder"
-> pause and start to lower your voice and talk slower, falling down to your knees
"why everyone is smiling and looking at me with secret knowledge of my aching shame. Shame. Shame. Shame."
-> get up from the floor, pointing and shout
"Drowning in your fucking shame!"

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- today I decided on making sure my performance will last at least 2 minutes
- to do this I had to create new movements that fit with the performance and still looks clear

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I want to explore the different movements I can make which will 'fit' with my character and the atmosphere she is in.

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> i completed my first short term target by practising in my room and going over the lines one by one
> i completed my second short term by researching the effects of types of medicines possibly used in a psychiatric hospitals and what it does to the patients - for example making them shaking uncontrollably or going 'numb' and  not being able to move without exhaustion
> i am still currently working on my last short term target as it still feels awkward, especially in front of people, but i will improve

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I want to explore the use of my facial expressions and consider some ideas for my performance.

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Question one: what hand gestures would your character do that match actions they complete in the monologue? For example: eating a bowl of soup. 

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Question one: what hand gestures would your character do that match actions they complete in the monologue? For example: eating a bowl of soup. 

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> clenching the hands into fists
> struggling to move and pulling against restraints

Question two: What mood are they in? What is their personality? Where are they?
> they're in a mental asylum room, a plain white room, strapped something
> they're annoyed and strong-minded but aggressive out of frustration
> a bad mood (angry, yet fearful)
> they would be very 'stiff' and tense

Question three: what are your facial expressions? How do they change throughout the monologue? Can they be seen by the audience?
> clenched jaw
> a maintained glare
> pursed lips or biting their lip out of anger
> raised brow
> stoic facial expression
> slit/squinted eyes

Question four: how does your character walk? Explore different ways. What body part do they lead with? How fast do they walk?
> I doubt they would be walking around, but if they did it would either be very fast - more like a run - or very slow, like they were drained of life, and they would trip a lot out of exhaustion and/or pain

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To memorize the entirety of my monologue so I can perform it with ease.

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Still images: of your character
2) a picture during the play

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As I have chosen, my character is female and her age is between 19 and 21. she is mainly very frustrated and upset, but also in pain and it shows through her voce. She tends to speak in a fast pace, when she isn't talking quickly, its very out-off-breath, more like a whisper.

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Question five: what is the posture of your character? Think about their status, their age, their gender.

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Question five: what is the posture of your character? Think about their status, their age, their gender.

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> they're a patient at a mental asylum/hospital
> a women(or man)but most likely female)
> early twenties - possibly late teens

Question six: what hand gestures would your character do that match their personality, age, gender?
> I doubt anything specific to those characteristics as they seem as though they would be more emotional rather than physically able
> they would be either 'numb' or tense and mad or outraged but not in a position to do anything too physical