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This group is designed for elementary students.  To provide a place for these students to discuss changes in their family and/or in their life that can be hard to deal with and are difficult to manage.

Through a needs assessment it was determined that second and third-grade boys and girls were struggling with family changes which inspired the creation of this group.

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Action Plan RSE Family Changes Small Group

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The plans for publicizing for this group include referral brochures that will be made available to parents/guardians, teachers/administrators, and the student himself or herself.  This will be accomplished through homeroom classes, teacher/staff meetings, and sending the brochure home through Tuesday folders and the online folder to parents.  The request for a referral will also be on the school counselor’s website.

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Article: The Impact of Divorce on School Aged Children

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Article: The Impact of Divorce on School Aged Children

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This article supports the need for a small group to address family changes and for students to be able to discuss these changes and learn how to process and deal with them.

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Childhood is a constant evolution of emotions, behaviors, and beliefs about how the world works. When divorce shakes up a family, this process of growth and development feels the shockwaves. When assessing this impact, school counselors may struggle to determine whether these shifts are the expected developmental growing pains or whether they are signs that a child is struggling with the divorce.

Listed below are frequently observed behaviors and emotions for children experiencing a divorce in their family, based on their developmental level, as well as signs that extra interventions and attention may be necessary on the part of the school counselor.

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Working with Younger Students (Ages 5-8)

Children at this developmental stage need to feel secure in their families. When they experience this safety and reassurance, they feel encouraged to explore the world around them and make new friends. But when this security is threatened by divorce, children may feel angry or sad. They might feel guilty and blame themselves for what happened, secretly thinking that their bad behavior caused the divorce. Children in early elementary school may feel worried that parents are going to stop loving them, so they may misbehave to test whether this is a justified fear.

Signs of Struggle with Divorce

Difficulty concentrating on schoolwork

Frequent crying or emotional distress

Lack of interest in fun activities

Headaches or stomach problems

Increased separation anxiety

For young children, any regression to earlier behaviors, such as wetting the bed, throwing tantrums, or wanting a pacifier, might indicate they need extra support during this time of transition.

How Elementary School Counselors Can Help

Above all, school counselors are called to be active listeners for their students. Create a safe space for them to express their sadness and feelings of loss, anger, shame, or embarrassment. Don't dismiss their worries about their parents, and listen to their fears, no matter how irrational they may seem. If they feel too scared to express these fears to either parent, consider having a meeting with the parents where the child can safely express these worries. Help the parents communicate to the children that the divorce wasn't their fault, and that they will never stop loving them.

Working with Older Students (Ages 9-12)

Children in late elementary school to early middle school are testing out new levels of independence. During a divorce, they may feel stuck in the middle of fighting or embarrassed when parents have public conflict. Children in this age group commonly express anger about the changes in their routine or living situation. And if they see one parent in particular who is struggling with the change, they might take on increased responsibility for the emotional health of the parent.

Signs of Struggle with Divorce

Feigned antipathy for activities once enjoyed

Premature interest in sex

Headaches or stomach problems

Increased conflict with peers

Overfunctioning in responsibilities

How Middle School Counselors Can Help

Because older children may feel the pressure to take on more adult responsibilities in the family during a divorce, school counselors can help redirect their focus to taking care of themselves and expressing their emotions. Counselors also can help them try out activities they enjoy and encourage them to simply "be a kid." By involving parents in the work, school counselors can also make them aware of the pressure their child feels to keep them happy during this difficult time.

Working with Teenagers (Ages 13-18)

Teenagers are tasked with the preparation to someday leave home and live independently. During a divorce, they might take on additional adult responsibilities, and it can be easy to forget that they are still developing emotionally and ethically. Teens might struggle to see far into the future and imagine a successful adulthood, or they may consider themselves to be invincible as they experiment with new and risky behaviors.

Signs of Struggle with Divorce

Extreme negativity or criticism

Risky sexual behaviors

Increased aggression

Poor academic performance

Substance use

How High School Counselors Can Help

A school counselor takes a teenager's perspective and listens to how they make sense of what has happened in their family. An adolescent might take responsibility for what has happened between their parents or feel that they have to care for their younger siblings. They might anticipate having to sacrifice their own plans for the future or feel guilty for wanting to leave home sooner than planned. A counselor may choose to involve the parents to assuage some of these fears. A counselor can also encourage the continued development of a strong sense of self-esteem for the teen and help them see beyond the present toward a hopeful future.

Finally, school counselors can be aware that long after a divorce is over, children may have new questions and concerns as they enter new developmental stages. By having the patience and the foresight to field these emerging issues, counselors can help foster a level of resilience that will serve a child long into their adult life.

For more resources, visit Students and Divorce: A Guide for School Counselors.

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The Impact of Divorce on School-Aged Children

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Childhood is a constant evolution of emotions, behaviors, and beliefs about how the world works. When divorce shakes up a family, this process of growth and development feels the shockwaves. When assessing this impact, school counselors may struggle to determine whether these shifts are the expected developmental growing pains or whether they are signs that a child is struggling with the divorce.

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The Texas Education Code speaks of the responsive services component to intervention for any student whose immediate personal concerns or problems put the student's continued educational, career, personal, or social development at risk.
(2 Tex. Educ. Code  § 33.005)

The Texas Administrative Code outlines the requirements for school counselors to provide a proactive, comprehensive, developmental school counseling program based on the needs of students, put in place by The Texas Model for Comprehensive School Counseling including counseling in small groups using appropriate theories and techniques in response to students needs.
(19 Tex. Admin. Code § 239.15)

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Group members will realize they are not alone in their problems, and feel they have hope as their family is going through changes.  Group members will have a chance to share their thoughts, feedback and reactions to other group members’ behaviors and perceptions.  Information about feelings, coping skills, and communicating effectively will be shared with group members, along with strategies and advice to help students navigate their situations and discover new ways of seeing or relating to others.

(Yalom, 1995)

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The democratic leadership style will be used in leading this group, and is the most beneficial to the group.  The school counselor will use this leadership style so students will participate, but also listen to other group members.  The school counselor will retain the final say in decisions particularly in regards to group rules and confidentiality, as well as imparting correct knowledge on the subject.  Students will feel engaged, motivated and like they are an important part of their group.  Students are likely to be committed the group goals.

(Cherry, 2019)

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Parent and student consent will be obtained before the group begins.  Parent consent will be obtained through a signed informed consent permission form by the parent or guardian of the student.  The student will sign a participant guidelines/ground rules assent form during the screening process interview.

(Missouri Professional School Counselors and Counselor Educators, 2015)

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The American Counselor’s Association Code of Ethics includes:

A.7.b. Confidentiality and Advocacy Counselors obtain client consent prior to engaging in advocacy efforts on behalf of an identifiable client to improve the provision of services and to work toward removal of systemic barriers or obstacles that inhibit client access, growth, and development.

B.1.c. Respect for Confidentiality Counselors protect the confidential information of prospective and current clients. Counselors disclose information only with appropriate consent or with sound legal or ethical justification.

This ethical guideline supports a school counselor in sending home a permission slip, and meeting with individual students before the start of the group to obtain consent and assent, as well as protecting students’ confidentiality.

(American Counseling Association, 2014)

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The following ASCA Mindsets and Behaviors will be met and mastered through participation in this group:
M 1. Belief in development of whole self, including a healthy balance of mental, social/emotional, and physical well being.
M 2. Self-confidence in ability to succeed.

B-SMS 7. Demonstrate effective coping skills when faced with a problem.

B-SMS 10. Demonstrate ability to manage transitions and ability to adapt to changing situations and responsibilities.

B-SS 1. Use effective oral and written communication skills and listening skills.

B-SS 2. Create positive and supportive relationships with other students.

(American School Counselor Association, 2014).

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As a group we will discuss ground rules and expectations.  Students will decide and agree on other group rules and expectations they would like to have implemented.

Ground Rules:

1.     Treat others as we would like to be treated.

2.     Talk one at a time

3.     Respect each other.

4.     Listen when others are speaking.

5.     What is said in the group, stays in the group.
Limits of confidentially with peers: Even though it is a rule, we can’t make other kids keep our secrets!

Limits of confidentiality with the school counselor:
1.  If someone is hurting the student.
2.  If the student wants to hurt someone.
3.  If the student wants to hurt themself.
4.  If the student asks the counselor to tell someone.

(Missouri Professional School Counselors and Counselor Educators, 2015)

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Small Group Ground Rules and Guidelines p26 Attachment

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This is a homogeneous group with five participants. Each group will have at least one positive role model, and this group will be comprised of second and third-grade students who have similar maturity levels. This group includes students of various backgrounds and perspectives as well as both male and female students. Based on the pre-group interview screening, students will be willing to work with others, and there are no foreseeable conflicts or behavioral histories with group members.

While all groups are unique, it is likely this group will go through the normal group stages. The school counselor will facilitate the group from stage to stage to help protect and promote the psychological safety, privacy of group members, and trust. The school counselor will also model and reinforce group norms.

Stage 1 “Storming/Norming”
During the first lesson, students will begin to find their place and to trust themselves, each other, and the school counselor. Emotionally safety and connecting to one another will occur through an ice breaker and trust-building activities. Conflict or acting out may precede the trust-building.

Stage 2 “Performing Stage”
The group will learn to value themselves and others and believe the group will make a difference in their situations and lives. Through this stage and process, the group will build cohesiveness and be productive in meeting and accomplishing personal and group goals.

Stage 3 “Mourning stage”
Before the group ends, during the last session, the group will reflect on individual and group accomplishments. The group will discuss how they can apply what they have learned in the group and identify supports to sustain their growth and change.

(Missouri Professional School Counselors and Counselor Educators, 2015)

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American Counseling Association. (2014). ACA code of ethics. Alexandria,
VA: Author.

American School Counselor Association (2014). Mindsets and
Behaviors for Student Success: K-12 College- and Career-Readiness
Standards for Every Student. Alexandria, VA: Author.

Cherry, K. (2019). Leadership styles and frameworks you should know.  Retrieved from:  https://www.verywellmind.com/leadership-styles-2795312

Missouri Professional School Counselors and Counselor Educators (2015).  Professional school counselor small group counseling guide: A professional school counselor’s guide to planning, implementing, and evaluating school-based counseling groups.  Retrieved from: https: dese.mo.gov/sites/default/files/guid-respon-serv-small-group-counseling-guide-2015.pdf

Yalom ID. (1995). The theory and practice of group psychotherapy (4th ed.).  New York: Basic Books.

2 Tex. Admin. Code  § 33.2

19 Tex. Admin. Code § 239.15

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In the screening process, students will be met with individually and informed about the group. Including a description of the group, group expectations, and alternative options if they are not placed in a group. Questions will be asked to gauge student interest and willingness to follow group rules and expectations. Through the individual screening interview, group members will be selected who are willing to participate, who would find the information beneficial to their personal goals and needs, and who would be satisfied with the process and other group members.

(Missouri Professional School Counselors and Counselor Educators, 2015)