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In "Kim's Convenience", the concepts of "Us and Them" are very apparent, although it can go the other way as well. I think it's really interesting most of the people wandering the store aren't Korean "outsiders", and the occasional Koreans or "insiders" who do appear are understanding the inside contexts of family members or play into the situation. In a way, it gives a dynamic where the audience, possibly the ones who are Korean or have a familiar experience with those situations, and laugh or relate to it--- especially for those who are also living in a community where Asians are the minority.

I can't relate to that because I have been living in a large Chinese (East Asian) community for all my life. I've never felt like an outsider, to be honest. Whenever I watch a show or movie, Fresh off the Boat, for example or even Kim's Convenience, I never really related to the family that is living in a relatively white neighbourhood and learn new things as they go. Even my family, who doesn't know English, doesn't even bother to learn anything about Canadian culture, because they honestly don't really need to because they're always reminded of their own culture in their own neighourhood. Like, even if they decide to travel outside of Vancouver, there are still large numbers of Chinese communities around Vancouver, so speaking English is not really... a difficult issue to deal with. This is with my family, at least.

I feel like when I'm in a neighbourhood or in an area with predominately "white" or Western people, I never felt isolated or excluded because I know how to speak English and usually understand the cultural contexts behind it.

It's when I go to China where I feel like an outsider. It's weird because, in an outside perspective, people might assume that I may be comfortable with people that might look like me or have a similar ethnicity. I don't blame people for assuming that, because generally speaking, people do stick to people that have common interests or aspects. Like the "uchi" concept in Japanese culture where people tend to feel more comfortable with people who are of similar contexts, like same school, same village, and what not.

It's really weird not being able to communicate with Chinese people probably, even though it's my own culture. I always feel like I have to rely on my mom or anyone I know who does speak better Chinese than me when I go to China. I also feel rather uncomfortable to say anything because I have an accent, and my accent makes me rather insecure, in Cantonese and Mandarin (but especially Mandarin).

Another thing that I find strange is that other Chinese people tend to clump me with them, and call me Chinese. It is true that I'm ethnically Chinese, but I always considered myself Canadian, because I was born in Canada and I have a Canadian citizenship. In no context do I reject my Chinese culture, I'm also proud to be Chinese (idk if that's weird saying). I also happen to speak horrid Chinese, so that doesn't help either. It's weird when my mom's friends ask me to help "tutor" their kids in English, and then tell me that I'm really good at English, because obviously, I'm Chinese and I should be able to speak Chinese fluently. In a way, they treat me as if I'm a Chinese citizen that went to Canada for schooling, and is going to come back to China (as if I was born there) and educate the further generation to benefit China as a whole.

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我看的电视节目叫 “Kim’s Convenience”。这是讲一对韩国夫妇移民到加拿大后，在多伦多一个小镇里开了一间小型的便利店的故事。他们夫妇俩Mr. 和Mrs. Kim，在加拿大生了两个孩子，大的男孩叫Jung小的女孩叫Janet。Jung十六岁时已经搬出去自己住，Mr. 和Mrs. Kim特别溺爱女儿。在这一集讲到Mr. Kim和Janet都遇到同一个问题，就是他们跟朋友之间发生了误会之后，处理的手法不同。例如Mr. Kim由于忍受不了过来帮忙修理空调的西人老朋友尽在说些无聊的事，而停下手里的活。Mr. Kim叫他不要再说那些废话了，（如果是韩国的老朋友听到这话后也不觉得怎么样）西人朋友听到后就很生气的走了。即使后来Mr. Kim的太太意识到Mr. Kim做的有点过分，而希望Mr. Kim能当面向西人朋友道歉。但Mr. Kim碍于传统的韩国文化最后还是没有正面道歉。同样的事也发生在加拿大出生的Mr. Kim的女儿，Janet身上。有一天Janet当着朋友的面说她的表妹，十八岁了还像个小孩，一点都不成熟，令到她表妹很不开心。后来Janet意识到自己做的过分了，就当面跟表妹说对不起，还买了小礼物给表妹。从这两个例子中我们可以看到他们的文化背景和教育不一样。通过这个故事启发了我们，由于西方和东方文化的差异会造成很多误会，而导致很多不愉快的事情发生。所以我们要多些学习和了解西方文化，也要西人多了解东方文化，这样我们才可以相处更和谐和融合。

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Question 2：

Two commonly spoken phrases in Chinese peoples’ daily conversations are “你好” and “不用了“ . Chinese people always respect others and are afraid to offend others. They always think that it is not a bad thing to be more polite (禮多人不怪), which is why they always greet people with “你好”, even if they do not know them.  They are also afraid to be a burden on others and they do not like owing people things (欠人人情), so they always say “不用了” when someone offers them a favour. Two common gestures in the Chinese culture are nodding and waving hands. Chinese people often want to live in harmony with everyone, so they nod to greet people even if they are not familiar with them. Chinese people wave at people who they are closer with, to show courtesy and friendliness.

I watched the movie “Pushing Hands” and I found two scenes that demonstrate how people define outsiders. The first scene is when Martha, Alex, and Mr. Chu are having dinner together. In this scene, Martha is being excluded as Alex and Mr. Chu are having side conversations about how Martha should not just eat vegetables.
Another scene is when Mr. Chu is excluded. He is not too aware of the ways how Western people teach their children. Martha allows his son Jeremy to watch TV after finishing his meal, but Mr. Chu does not approve of this. He does not like how Jeremy is watching violent movies while the rest of the family is still having dinner together.

Chinese people usually exclude others by having side conversations with other people. They will speak in Chinese so others would not understand what they are saying. This is because they enjoy being private about a lot of things and would not want to expose their personal information to others. On the other hand, they include people by having small talks with others. Relationships are really important to the Chinese people and building up a good reputation with them is important if they want to be included in the Chinese society.

The concept of “Us” and “ Them” is really evident when I visit Asia. Every year, I visit my relatives in Hong Kong, Singapore, and China. When I visit Hong Kong and Singapore, I felt more like an insider because there is a strong western culture in those two cities. Many people spoke English and followed a Western lifestyle. The people in Hong Kong and Singapore were also quite similar to me, and I met many people that also grew up in Canada. We shared a lot of common interests and we did not have any language or cultural barriers. There were also districts in both Hong Kong and Singapore where there would be restaurants completely owned and operated by Westerners. While visiting these restaurants with my friends and family, it felt like home. However, in China, I felt like an outsider. Their lifestyle was completely different than the one I was used to. For example, when I went out with my relatives in Zhongshan one day, they asked if I would be willing to have dog meat for lunch. I was utterly shocked because I would have never imagined eating such things in my life. My relatives explained to me after that dog meat is actually good for health according to the Chinese culture and tradition. Not only did I felt like an outsider in this situation, but I also felt disappointed that my relatives would eat such exotic foods. There was also a language barrier, as Mandarin was predominantly spoken in China, and I did not understand much of what the local people were saying. Their living conditions were also much more poorer than Hong Kong and Singapore. Smoking was a big part of many locals’ lives and air pollution was quite severe. It was really difficult for me to connect and communicate with my cousins and relatives in China. I could not relate to some of their culture, values, and interests.

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我看的电影叫"别告诉她"。这是一个关于美国和中国文化差异。在这部电影里，有一个很有意思的情节。这部电影的女主演是一个美国人 -- Billi -- 但是她家人是中国人。她奶奶生病了，所以她的亲戚都要回到中国陪奶奶。我发现在中国文化，家人会避免说死亡的事情，也不会给要去世的人说。比方说，在社部电影里，Billi的家人都给她奶奶说Billi的表哥要结婚了所以他们要回国一趟。其实，他们只用婚礼来当借口。从我中国朋友的口头报告里，我学了西方人也会拒绝死亡但是会告诉要去世的人。他们会对要去世的人说，”You can’t die”。我认为这个电影的文化差异表达中国人的简介说法。我可以理解Billi的感情因为她觉得告诉奶奶是应该的。在我看来，关于死亡的事应该告诉奶奶所以她可以更好安排她的时间。

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我看的电影片名叫The farewell, 影片中的主角叫”Billie”，她是华裔美国人，住在纽约。有一天，她的家人告诉她，她的奶奶得了癌症，已经到第四阶段，也就是癌症晚期，因此，她们一家决定回中国探望奶奶。可是他们打算北告诉奶奶她被诊断出癌症的消息，避免给老人增加精神压力，加剧病情恶化。可在美国不告知病人病情结果是非法的。所以，Billie对于不告诉奶奶病的实情感到心急如焚坐立不安。在这部电影里有一段很有意思的场景是但Billie跟他的叔叔聊天。 告诉她的父亲，她很难忍受继续再骗奶奶，还不告诉她诊断出了癌症的事实。Billie 的叔叔对她说:你从小在国外长大，你的想法是，每个人有权利知道自己的健康状况和病情。可是，她的家人是中国人，中国人认为告诉实情会加剧病情恶化，因此选择回避，以免老人更担心。由此我发现，在中国文化里中国人更注重集体主义，可外国人更注重个人主义，中国文化更有人情味，在这一点上，虽然他们在隐瞒，在撒谎，可认为是对奶奶的关爱和保护，或许她会因此活更久。同时我发现，由于文化差异表达爱的方式也不大相同，在电影里奶奶对Billie的爱表现在教导她做健康有益的运动，可很少流漏出她有多么爱孙女的言辞上，这就是中国人习惯间接含蓄表达爱，但外国人喜欢直接了当表达感情。

看完这个电影，我犹豫是否Billie的家人不告诉奶奶有癌症是个对的方式。我觉得在这个情况下，没有对或者错的答案，没有最对的答案。他们决定不告诉奶奶她的诊断的原因是有道理的。但是因为我是在外国长大的，我越觉得每个人有权利知道她是否有癌症。虽然有两个不同的文化信仰，对奶奶的爱束缚了Billie 和他的家人。最终不管方式是对还是错，因为在那个时期，他们对奶奶的爱才是最重要的。

Below is the dark scene in which Billie confronts her dad and uncle that she can't keep the secret from her grandma anymore. In which her uncle replies to her that the purpose of the family in Chinese culture is to bear the burden for each other.

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The concept of "Us and Them" in the movie "The Farewell" directly relates to my personal experience of under different cultural contexts that are difficult for me to understand. Since Billie was raised in America she has Western ways of dealing with situations. However, her family is Chinese and China's ways and traditions are different from Western ways. And so, as an immigrant, it's hard for her to know where her place stands amongst her multicultural identity. I find myself in the same situation my entire life. I've always felt like an outsider looking in, not knowing which side to choose to live by. Now that I live on my own, I find that I live a predominantly Western lifestyle with white friends and a white boyfriend. However, I want to be part of my Chinese heritage and culture and oftentimes find myself wishing that I was able to connect more with my Chinese people. When my grandparents came to Canada to meet my boyfriend for the first time I was sad that they couldn't fully communicate with my boyfriend; because my boyfriend couldn't speak Chinese and my grandparents couldn't speak English. This language barrier prevents them from really getting to know each other. I find that I've experienced this kind of barrier my entire life. My Canadian side is blocked off from my Chinese side. I think this is because Chinese ways of thinking and doing things are so different from Western ways. I hope that by learning the Chinese language I will be more effective in communicating with my grandparents and Chinese family members. This way, by learning the language I can try to destroy the barrier that keeps me separated from my Chinese identity and be able to communicate and share my Western identity with my Chinese family.

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我看的电影叫 “Pushing Hands”。这是一个关于一个老人家来到纽约跟他儿子 (Alex) 的电影。那个儿子的爸爸，叫 “Mr.Chu”, 不太习惯在跟西方人住。Alex 的老婆，叫 Martha，不喜欢 Mr.Chu。Martha 是一个作家。Mr.Chu 来的时候， Martha 突然想不到写的东西。Martha 觉得他写不到东西是因为 Mr.Chu 跟他们住。总结，这点电影看西方和中方的文化，然后问一个问题：可不可以一个家人有不同的文化？在这部电影里，有一个很有意思的片段。在这个片段，Mr.Chu 跟他的儿子和他的老婆吃饭。Mr.Chu夹肉给Martha 的时候，Martha 不敢吃因为他怕胖。然后，Mr.Chu 用中文文化说你为什么要吃肉。Martha 这时候特别尴尬，因为他了解 Mr.Chu 再说他，可是 Martha 听不懂中文。我发现几个很大的文化差异。第一是语言障碍. 我特别了解为什么 Martha 特别尴尬，因为我去中国的时候有一样的问题。在这部电影Martha 生病了，因为她太焦急。我亲戚用客家话说我时候，我也特别着急，因为我听不懂。在这个情况，我觉得我是陌生人，在一个外星人，因为我什么多不了解。最后的发现是他们不同的宗教。Mr.Chu 相信中国传统。吃饭的时候，他说肉和菜会平衡你的身体。我小时候听过我奶奶说过这句话。这些话让我很着急。我看到网上，很多人也不太喜欢 Martha, 因为开始时候他对Mr.Chu不太好。可是，我了解Martha，因为我知道跟 “外面的人”交流是有一点可怕。我觉得如果你跟你 “自己人”交流的时候，然后有一个“外面人”在你附近，你必要跟那个 “外面人” 解释你的说法。

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The idea of "Us" and "Them" is very apparent whenever I go back to China. Every year, I go to a village in China where my parents were from. I would experience a completely new environment. I feel more of an outsider here than in Shenzhen because there is very little western culture in this village. In Shenzhen, I found that people my age were quite like me, and we shared a lot of the same interests. We talked about sports, games, cars, and I totally felt as though these are "my" people. They didn't care that my mandarin was below subpar, as they understood that I grew up in Canada. And since they studied in an international school in Shenzhen, their English is excellent, so I had no problem communicating with them. However, in my parent's village, it's a completely different situation. People there spoke with a Chinese accent called "Hakka", which shares very little resemblance to mandarin. When I visit my cousins in the village, I literally don't understand a single word. Sometimes, I feel very left out in conversations, because Hakka is very difficult for me to follow. I also found out that people in the village have completely different interests. They aren't exposed to western culture, and so it is very hard to engage with my cousins. When I go back to the village, the concept of "Us and Them" is extremely apparent. Although I've tried to tackle this barrier by learning some "Hakka", and trying to understand their interests, it's still very hard for me to get along with them well because deep inside, I don't relate to their culture and interests. However, one things which me and my cousins love is Chinese food, which we like talking about (picture below) .

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S1:E6

In Kim’s Convenience, the concept of Us and Them is apparent in the differences Appa, who is a Korean immigrant dad, faces with his diverse customers. For example, the way Appa raised his children is very Korean, using methods such as flicking their forehead as a light punishment. When one of his customers, who is a Western mother, brings her naughty child into Appa’s store, Appa flicks the child on the forehead for creating a mess. While the Western mother perceives this action as abuse, it is only part of Korean culture for Appa to act like that.

I find in Asian parenting, it is more acceptable to lay your hands on your children, compared to Western parenting -- which creates the Us and Them mentality. My parents fall on the spectrum somewhere, since they do not necessarily agree with all the traditional Asian parenting ways (like spanking children). One time when our family went to visit China, my mom got lectured by her dad for not properly raising my brother and I. There was an incident where we did not follow the hierarchy while eating dinner and my grandfather became very angry. I think there is definitely a difference between the ways Chinese parents raise their children and the way Western parents do, so it must be tough for my parents to know how to properly raise CBC children. In order to avoid these awkward situations if I return to China, I explored some Chinese guest manners in my final project. However, I do feel scarred by how strongly my grandparent reacted to something which was clearly an unfamiliar setting for my brother and I, so I am hesitant to see my grandparents. I think both parties need to acknowledge there is a learning curve and to be accepting of that in order to overcome the Us and Them concept.

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在《别告诉她》中，这部电影和我的状况非常相似。作为一个在中国有家人的人，我也有类似的经历。作为一个像电影中的主人公一样接受西方文化熏陶的人，我也反对家人不告诉奶奶她患有癌症的事实。我是在这种文化中成长的，并且我认为人们应该有权知道自己是否生了病，特别是这种很严重的有关生死的病。但是在这部电影中，有一个场景是当主人公抽着烟走进父亲和他的兄弟说话时，兄弟提出了一些非常好的观点。他说，我们不应认为不告诉病人是给病人带来负担，而应该相信我们正在为他们承担负担。与西方文化相比，这是一种完全不同的思维方式，但我觉得也有道理。作为中国人，我也遇到过这样的情况，我的父母告诉我不要向家人（例如我的姨妈或叔叔）隐瞒信息。在我的家人中，我的父母总是在兄弟姐妹之间进行不间断的间接斗争。总是那些关于谁拥有最好的孩子，而谁又取得了更大的成就。这也取决于谁在经济上更富裕。尽管这些事情从来没有说过，也没有直接告诉过我，但这是一种不成文的规定。我从不会告诉表弟我们的家庭问题或与他谈论他的的学术水平。另外，与我有关的另一件事始终是祖父母在东方文化中的重要性。他们是一家之主，即使年老，也非常被尊重。在《别告诉她》中有这样的场景，当两个家庭在餐桌上争论要把孩子送到国外学习时由祖母介入阻止他们。我曾经有过类似的经历，有时我的家人会在餐桌上有间接的争论，但我的祖母会阻止他们，告诉他们，他们的行为很愚蠢。总的来说，我真的相信《别告诉她》在描绘中国家庭方面做得非常出色，而且非常准确。我肯定会推荐它。

-李家骅

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The movie "The Farewell" related to me very well. As a person who has family in China, I have had similar experiences. Although as a person who has been brought up in a western culture like the main character in the movie, I was also against the reason why the family did not tell the grandma that she has cancer. I was brought up in a culture where people should have the right to know whether they are sick or not. But in this film, there was this scene when the main character walked into her father and his brother speaking while having a cigarette, the brother made some really good points. He said that instead of viewing this as a burden on the person who is sick, we should believe that we are carrying the burden for them. This is a completely different mindset compared to western culture but one that makes sense. As a Chinese, I have also been in a situation where my parents have told me to withhold information to family members such as my aunt or my uncles.  In my family, my parents were always in a constant yet indirect battle between their brothers and sisters. It was always who had the best child and who has achieved more. It also came down to who was more well off financially as well. Although this was never said and never directly told to me, this was always kind of a rule. I was never able to tell my cousins our family issues or talk to them about how you were academic. Also, another thing that related to me was always how important the grandparents are in eastern culture. They are the head of the family and also extremely valued even when they are at their old age. There was this scene in The Farewell when two families were arguing at the dining table about sending their kids to foreign countries to study and grandma steps in to stop them. I have had similar experiences where sometimes my families would have indirect arguments at the dining table but my grandma would stop them and tell them they are acting foolish. Overall, I really believe The Farewell did a great job of depicting Chinese families and extremely accurate. I would definitely recommend it.

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大家好, 我选的电影叫 The Farewell. 这一部电影是关于一位美国华裔女生叫 Billie和她住在中国家人的关系. 看这部电影的各位能观察在外国长大的华裔如何跟中国家人沟通.  在这部电影里, Billie的父母跟她说她奶奶被诊断出患有癌症, 只剩下几个月就回去世. 因为Billie很伤心, 她就想到要一起和他家人去中国拜访他的奶奶. 但是, Billie的爸爸妈妈不太同意让她一起来, 因为他们觉得Billie对中国人的文化不太熟悉. 在这部电影里让我觉得最感动的部分就在Billie一边哭着说, 她来的原因就是要和她奶奶说最后一次的再见. 我看着一部分的时候也哭了. 中国人对死亡迷信, 尤其是有关老人家的时候, 千万不能说有关于死亡的东西. 但是, 西方人没怎么像中国人那么的迷信, 所以Billie不明白为什么她父母不让她去中国. 我觉得这部电影非常有意思. Billie的中文不但说得不太流利, 她对中国文化的了解也不太强, 但是Billie还是很爱他的奶奶. 从这部电影, 各位能学的就是我们无论在那里长大, 一定要对我们的家人多多感谢. 说的中文不一定要是世界上最好的, 对中国文化的理解也不需要是最棒的, 大家都可以和奶奶打个电话说 “我爱你”.

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我看的電影是李安的‘推手’，這是一個表達東西文化差異還有兩代不同隔閡的電影，故事是講述從小練太極有一身好功夫的朱老先生從中國移民到美國跟兒子媳婦孫子一起同住，跟媳婦Martha因為語言不通生活習慣不同而發生不好的相處。這部電影有一個很有趣的部分, 有一天朱老先生想要出去散步，他跟Martha說他要出門，但是因為語言的障礙，他們聽不懂對方在說什麼，兩個也不願意好好的溝通，只是不停的各講各的。從這個相處我們可以了解朱老先生跟Martha沒有辦法溝通的原因就是因為他們沒有花心思來了解對方的立場，也不願意接受彼此文化上的差異。我覺得如果想要了解對方的文化，接受對方成為你的家人，一定要有好的態度，要有耐性，尊重對方，好好溝通，互相包容了解，就能和平共處。

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In The Farewell, Billie is informed that her grandmother in China only has a few more months to live, and her family is using a wedding as an excuse to have a large family gathering for her to make her feel special. Billie initially isn’t allowed to go as her parents believe she is “too American”, but she secretly goes and learns many things about Chinese culture, and how it affects families, along the way. One of the most hard-hitting moments of the movie is the part where Billie asks the doctor, “isn’t it wrong to lie?”, and he replies, “it’s a good lie”. In Chinese culture, people are encouraged to use white lies to help alleviate people’s worries and anxiety, especially for old people. I take the side of Billie slightly more as I feel that white lies can only cover up so much truth, and that people should find  a way to tell the truth without hurting someone if possible. Another part of the movie that I felt was significant, was where Billy’s mother told her that “it’s not the cancer that kills them, it’s the fear”. This says a lot about Chinese culture being very superstitious when it comes to death. At all costs, people should avoid talking about death as it makes the elderly very worried, not to mention that Chinese people also imply that you can psychologically kill someone by talking about death. While this concept is built on lies and being secretive, even to people you care about I find this to be a symbol of togetherness and family love for Chinese culture. I even argue that Chinese families will do anything just so that their family members can live longer.

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1. 我看的電影叫 Crazy Rich Asians。 這是一個關於文化差異的電影。在這個電影裏, 一個女孩叫 Rachel Chu 陪著她的男朋友，Nick Young, 回到新加坡去拜訪Nick 的家庭和參加他朋友的婚禮。在這部電影裏，有一個很有意思的片段。在這個片段中是 第一次 Rachel 和Nick 的媽媽，Eleanor，見面。和 Eleanor 打招呼的時候，Rachel就直接熱情的擁抱Eleanor。Eleanor很驚訝的回抱Rachel，可是從Eleanor的臉色看出來，我發現她覺得Rachel很沒有禮貌。這是因爲在西方人的文化里，他們會熱情的和別人打招呼, 讓人和人成爲很好關係的朋友。西方人甚至會親對方的臉！西方人這樣子做是因爲他們想要表達他們熱情的心意。可是在中國人的文化裏，他們很尊重個人的空間。所以你直接跨過中國人的空間的時候，他們會覺得你是一個很奇怪和不禮貌的人。另外，Rachel 和 Eleanor 聊天的時侯有聊到 Rachel 的工作當NYC的教授。而且Rachel提到她的媽媽很支持所有Rachel的愛好，因爲她媽媽知道Rachel會很熱情的追求她的夢想。可是Eleanor一聼到就批評她，説這種教養方式和中國的教養方式很不一樣。Eleanor很驕傲說在中國文化裏，父母都會很瘋狂的控制孩子的生命。Eleanor 這樣子說讓我發現她覺得西方人教養孩子的方式比較隨隨便便的。可是在我看來，我覺得中國人教養孩子的方式太嚴了。雖然Rachel和 Eleanor都同意她們兩個有文化的差異，Rachel比較尊重Eleanor的文化可是Eleanor不是很尊重Rachel的西方文化和意見。這代表中國人會覺得自己的意見比別人的意見重要，而且如果別人和你有不同意見的時候，他們會批評別人的意見。可是在西方人的文化，他們會尊重他和別人不同的意見。踢完了這些例子，我覺得中國人會不喜歡和他們不同意見的人聊天，而且有時候也會排擠這些人。另一方面我覺得西方人會熱情地接受和他們不一樣的人。這種文化差異會讓中國人和西方人很難接受彼此打交道的方式。所以中國人和西方人需要貼心地理解對方，才能建立好關係。

Eleanor is unpleasantly surprised when Rachel hugs her.

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Identify and describe 2 scenes that demonstrate how people define outsiders in the movie, and further explain whom and how they include and exclude people in Chinese society and culture, following by analyzing possible reasons.

Within Crazy Rich Asians, people defined outsiders by how worthy of a person they were as an individual to be associated with. The worthiness of a person can be defined by their looks, wealth, and social status. For example,  when Rachel visited Peik Lin in her home, wearing a plain red dress, Peik Lin immediately said she needed to change because she understood people would criticize Rachel once she visited Nick’s family. And Peik Lin was proven right; when Rachel arrived at the party, everyone turned their heads and whispered judgmentally. This proves that within the Chinese culture, people dress to impress and to show off their wealth. If you don’t carry yourself with elegance, and high-end fashion, people will think you have a lower socio-economic standing and won’t want to associate with you. So this tells me that Chinese people are quite judgmental about superficial values such as things that are taken at face value, and they don’t consider a person’s unique and caring personality, which Western people values more.

Outsiders are also defined by their different goals and mindsets. When Rachel meets Nick’s mom, Nick’s mom criticizes and excludes Rachel for following her passions, as Eleanor believes doing what is logical and honorable is more important. Eleanor says, “You may think what I’m doing is old-fashioned, but I believe this is the way I can stay honorable to my family”. In other words, Eleanor wants Nick to have someone who will put family first, sacrificing their own dreams. This reminds me of the stereotypical “chinese culture”, where tiger parents will have high expectations of their children to obey the family, discouraging them from pursuing their passions if it is not deemed “worthy” enough.  However in the western culture, it seems more often parents will encourage their kids to follow their dreams, no matter what it would be.

Furthermore, this reminds me of a person bringing their family back to a traditional Chinese household. Just like Eleanor, Chinese parents tend to “inspect” the significant other to see if they’re worthy of their children, such as asking them for their education, career, and even salary. Because Rachel is of a lower socio-ecnomic background, Eleanor deems her as “not enough” for Nick, because she will never understand the wealthy and culturally Chinese world to which Nick comes from. This is because the Chinese culture values security within a family. But in a western family, they usually only care if the significant other treats their children well.

Rich girls judging Rachel’s dress and socio-economic status.

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* This is a separate picture for the second scene I discussed in my reflection.

It is a picture of Eleanor telling Rachel that she will “never be enough” for Nick.

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Question 1:

（我早前跟王老師說了，她說我可以看另外一些電視劇或電影）

這個禮拜我看了一部香港電續劇，叫 《平安谷之詭谷傳說》。這是關於一群女生在民初的時候在一條又偏僻又落後叫平安谷的小村裡生活。因為平安谷的村民對於重男輕女這個概念根深蒂固，這些女生常常被很多男人欺凌和壓迫。所以，這些女生想推動改革。其中帶頭去抗爭是一位女生叫羅桂思。她是在外國長大的，之後回國嫁給一直在平安谷裡生活的陸水豐。桂思和村裡的女生想建設一個更好的社會，廢除 《女誡》，爭取男女平等。雖然羅桂思和一群女生面對著種種困難，例如村裡老百姓守舊的思想，但是她們依然迎難而上，最後她們能夠在平安谷成功地廢除 《女誡》。

在那部電續劇裡，有一段很有意思的片段。因為羅桂思是在外國成長，她是比較獨立和直率。她認為結婚是兩個人的事情，可是她的家翁覺得結婚的兩家人的事情。在那個片段裡，桂思與她的家翁常常有不同的想法，有很多的矛盾。她的家翁希望他們可以跟家人住在一起。但是桂思希望好像西方人一樣，結婚以後就搬出去，獨立生活。桂思為了尊重她丈夫的家人，她決定化解矛盾。她知道中國人的家庭觀念比西方人重，中國人常常希望一家人整整齊齊坐在一起。除此以外，她也明白中國人很注重 “百善孝為先” 這個概念 ，家裡的後背不應該違背長輩的心意。他們不可以像西方人一樣，獨立作出一個決定，不論父母反對與否。桂思為了表示她對家翁的尊重，她決定送一份 “禮物” 給她的家翁。這份 ”禮物” 就是請一位攝影師為他們拍一張全家福。最後，她的家翁表現得很開心因為他覺得自己很有福氣，兒孫滿堂。看完這部電視劇以後我認為不論中國人或西方人都希望家和萬事興，一家人和睦相處。很多時候一家人是要互相遷就才可以化解矛盾。雖然中國父母很傳統，但是現今的中國父母跟民初時代的中國父母很不同，他們現在十分開明，很多事情都讓子女做主。

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The "Us and Them" mentality can be seen in the scene where the family is having dinner. Both Martha and Mr.Chu take turns trying to grab Alex's attention. As Martha and Mr.Chu are unable to understand the language in which the other is using to speak to Alex, I believe their attempts to dissuade the other from speaking to Alex may come from the fact that they feel left out when a language that they do not know is spoken. Rather than trying to work around their language barriers, they seem content with not making any attempts to develop a cultural understanding of one another, instead choosing to close themselves off completely just because the other person is different. When I was in elementary school, there would be many times where I would be the only Asian person in my class. Though I don't believe my classmates made any explicit attempts to exclude me to make me feel bad, it was evident through the small things that they viewed and treated me differently. For example, they would rarely have conversations with me, and would often leave me out during classroom activities. On the flip side, I did not make any attempts myself to develop a better understanding of their culture. These behaviors that my classmates and I exhibited can be attributed to our young age, however, I also believe part of it was because we never learned to appreciate our differences. We were content with closing ourselves to people and cultures we were familiar with, instead of approaching one another with an open mind.

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我看的电影叫“Crazy Rich Asians”。这是一个关于情侣，Nick Young和Rachel Chu，去新加坡因为Nick 的最好朋有结婚。他们去到新加坡的时候，Henry 的家人批评她因为他在美国长大，所以他们觉得她是一个“外人”。Nick 的妈妈，Eleanor，以前和她丈夫结婚的时候，她丈夫的妈妈觉得Eleanor不配他儿子，因为他们觉得Eleanor不是来自好的家庭。我发现，Eleanor不喜欢Rachel因为他现在明白她丈夫的妈妈说什么。另外，在这部电影里，有第二个很有意思的片段。Rachel约Eleanor打麻将。正在打麻将的时候，Rachel告诉妈妈说Henry提出我们想结婚。妈妈是很担心因为她想法是觉得美国人只在乎自己。但是，Rachel说她拒绝因为她不想Henry离开他的家人。这样Eleanor发现Rachel不是跟一般的美国人一样。最后，Henry的妈妈给了他们的结婚的戒指。这个结婚戒指是他们的家传信物。结论，中国人家庭观念是很重要。“自己人”和“外人”是一个很传统的想法，因为这个电影你看到Henry的家人对 Rachel 是一个外人。

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The concept of "us and them" is very prevalent in the movie "Crazy Rich Asians" and it relates to my personal experiences, especially when I go to China to visit my relatives. While maybe not to the extent Rachel did when facing Henry's mother, I did receive a lot of criticism, especially when I was younger. When I played with my second cousins, I was yelled at for being too loud and obnoxious. They thought that because I was raised in America, I was not as disciplined as I would've been had I been raised in China. I also just didn't know many table manners when eating with Chinese people because I didn't have the experience. However, I learned a lot through trial and error. Now that I'm older, I see that I've gained a lot of cultural understanding. Although I know I may not fully understand it, I feel like I am also a 自己人 when I go back to Guangdong because I am able to interact with my relatives all really well and I can manage my way around my family's hometown pretty well.

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我看的电影叫“ The Gua Sha Treatment”。这部电影的中文名字是”刮痧“ 。刮痧是一种中国传统的治疗方法。用完刮痧之后，背上会留下痕迹的。这部电影主要是展示中西文化的差异。在电影里，主角Datong的爸爸从中国来到他家里住。当Datong不在家的时候，他给Datong的儿子刮痧了。当时Datong的儿子肚子疼而且发烧了，可是在家的爷爷并不知道怎么看英文医学标签，所以就用刮痧的方法来为他的孙子治疗。不幸的是，Datong的儿子因伤到头就出意外了。在医院里，医生以为他的家人虐待他了。他们觉得在孩子背上的痕迹就是虐待孩子的证据。西方国家非常重视孩子的安全。他们是不允许孩子受任何的伤害的。因此，医生就告了儿童权利保护机构并且准备上法庭。在法庭上，因为Datong无法解释刮痧是一种中国传统的治疗方法，所以就被逼迫离开儿子。原本在家的爷爷只是好心用这种方法来给孙子治疗，却被美国人以为是虐待孩子了。这说明西方国家对任何的打的方式来教育很反感。在中国，被父母用打的方式来教育孩子是常事，可在西方国家看来就是在伤害孩子了。中西方的文化在这方面表现了很大的差异。

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我看的电影叫亚洲疯狂富豪。这部电影是关于不同社会地位的爱情。在这部电影里，有一个很有意思的片段。Rachel去Nick的家里做客的时候，她不小心迷路了。那时候，Nick 的妈妈，Eleanor，一找到他就跟她讲她戒指的故事。Rachel很惊讶因为Eleanor很公开说她婆婆根本不喜欢她。婆婆不愿意给Eleanor她们家里的戒指所以Nick 的爸爸自己去买新个戒指送给她。从这个片段，我观察到外人会以为他们一家里开开心心的, 但Eleanor这多年从婆婆收到很多小批评。婆婆一直不接受Eleanor所以Eleanor一直都觉得自己需要变成一个完美的媳妇。这多年的批评根深蒂固进入她的心态。比方说，在那个片段，她最后对Rachel 的话是“你配不上我的儿子“。Eleanor很多年受到伤害所以她把Rachel像她以前的自己来批评Rachel。她想告诉Rachel想做她的媳妇不容易。我觉得她也想被别人认识到她几多年的努力。

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In the movie "刮痧,“ there is a scene that surprised me. The scene is the debate about "孙武空” in the court. In Chinese culture, "孙武空“ is considered as a righteous hero as he represented Chinese value. However, "孙武空” is depicted by the American lawyer as a violent and barbarous monkey. The reasons that the American lawyer gave is that the behavior of "孙武空“ which includes smashing people's things and ruining things in Heaven are too violent to be considered a hero. The Americans couldn't understand in any way how such a character can be considered a hero in China.

In the movie "刮痧,“ Datong is also not considered as a good father because of the way he acted in the court. He was easily angered and he hit his own son when his son did something wrong. In the court, the American lawyer argued that Datong should definitely be separated from his son because of his violent behaviors. While Chinese pay attention to traditional hierarchical relation between father and son, for Americans, juniors have the same status as seniors. Because of this,  Datong's case of winning his son back is another step backward.

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Through the movie, Crazy Rich Asians, the concept of “Us and Them” is highly visible as Rachel ventures into the high class society that her boyfriend has grown up in. Within Nick’s family, his grandma initially seemed welcoming towards Rachel’s arrival to the extent of complimenting her face for having good luck. Throughout the story, Nick’s grandma holds herself at a distance and does not take initiative to interact with Rachel unless Nick does so himself. Her true intentions are revealed at the climax where she had ordered Nick’s mom to do a background check on Rachel’s family. On the outside, Nick’s grandma merely wanted to please her grandson by interacting with Rachel in an amicable manner while coldly evaluating Rachel’s qualifications on the side. Personally, I have experienced “Us and Them” when I become acquainted with an international friend through co-leaders for an orientation program for first-year students. Growing up, I had taken Chinese school and made friends with Chinese-Canadians who were born in Canada which supplemented me with some basic Chinese knowledge about the language and culture. On the celebration dinner of the program, the international friend introduced me to her friends who were also international students from China. Since I did not know other leaders, I had stayed together with them to eat and talk. They were all friendly and I picked up on a few words in their Chinese conversations. When it was time to take a picture to commemorate the night, one of the friends asked me to help them take their picture. It was then that I realized I was an outsider to their group. I nonchalantly accepted their request but my international friend actually stopped to tell them I was to be included in the photo as well. That moment warmed my heart as my international friend tried to bridge the gap between me, a Chinese-Canadian, and her group of international friends from China. Thankfully, I was able to have a good time with her group of friends as we got closer through different activities during the night. Now, we often greet each other in the hallways and send little messages on each others’ stories. I think this incident reflects well the misconception of how international students tend to socialize in their own groups while we tend to look from the outside to assume they are cold and unfriendly. Over the years, I can confirm that most of them were merely shy and closed off, but they were truly lively and sincere people once you get to know them!

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我看的电影是"Kim's Convenience"。我听说这个电影很好看，但是我从来没有看过。我看完了第一节，我对Janet很不好意思。 在这部电影里，有一个很有意思的片段。她的妈妈问她如果她有去教会。不是因为她觉得Janet要多祈祷，因为她妈妈希望她会拿到一位 “Cool，Christian，和Korean” 的男生。

我觉得有一点奇怪。教会是一个很精神的地方，她为什么要去这个地方拿到男朋友。Janet拒绝时候，她妈妈就自己帮Janet拿一个男朋友。我觉得在中国文化都是一样的。很有父母希望他们的孩子会找到以为成功的爱人。但是，如果他们觉得孩子们太慢了，他们就会自己出去帮孩子找到他们喜欢的男女生。

例如在中国，男生比女生多和年轻人开始慢一点结婚和至今。所以，很有父母出去帮他们的孩子找到他们喜欢的男女生。YouTube上有一部很有趣的video 【https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QarOjjKfseo】。 我知道很有父母希望他们的孩子会跟他们的爱人一起结婚和生孩子，但是我觉得如果他们帮孩子找男女朋友，他们就想找到他们自己喜欢的特性，真的不是在乎他们的孩子的首选项。有时候，我觉得他们不是想要他们的孩子开心，最重要是人们觉得他们的孩子是成功的。有一点不健康。

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我看的电影叫Crazy Rich Asians。这是一个浪漫电影，它是关于Rachel和她的男朋友Nick前往新加坡参加他最好的朋友的婚礼。但是, Rachael是一个亚裔美国人。她发现她的男朋友的家人非常有钱。许多女人想要Nick，而他的妈妈非常不喜欢她。

在这部电影里，有一个很有意思的场景。这是介绍场景， Nick的妈妈家人走进宾馆因为有暴风雨，但是员工不希望他们留下。他们是种族主义者，因为他们希望他们去中国城，加上他们以为亚洲人没有钱。后来，Nick 的妈妈生气买下了他们的宾馆。

我发现这个场景对我来说非常重要，因为在美国和加拿大很多人都认为我是中国人。所以，他们有时不会尊重我。他们认为我没有钱加上很脏。特别现在有了CORONA VIRUS，许多西方人变得更加种族主义。例如，有新闻报道说，一名中国大学生被打受伤了, 因为人们以为他带了Corona来他们的国家。加上，网上很多美国人认为所有中国人都很脏，都吃狗和蝙蝠。

我觉得Crazy Rich Asians 是一个很有意思的电影，但是没有真正显示出中西文化的差别。他们讲更多关于钱的问题，没有多讲亚裔美国人的问题。

I believe Crazy Rich Asians is a terrific movie that talks about the cultural differences between old money and new money, and also Asian Americans and Asian Asian. However, I do not feel like it clearly conveys the differences specially between Canadian culture and Asian Culture. I do believe it really touches upon Asian Americans the most, since it expands on the difficulty of  them not finding a “true home” since they are not truly white or truly asian. I believe a notable quote that exemplifies this example was when Kerry points out to Rachel that “You may look Chinese, here and here you are different, but you are a Foreigner, an American, like a banana.” As a student who grew up in China speaking English while moving to Canada for college, I feel like this quote reflects on me in an opposite but similar way. Although I speak English, I don’t think I speak “their” kind of language. I tried adapting to Canada from learning and watching hockey to utilizing Vancouver slang, but I still never feel as connected since I didn’t grow up in Calgary or North Van. Many people grew up with each other or knowing each other from high schools, so when I try to talk, I feel like I’m intruding on a relationship that has been built throughout many years. However, whenever I talk to international students, I have so much more to connect about, since knowing Asia as a whole sets up many topics and understandings. Many Canadians do find it interesting when I talk about my experiences, but its not something they have actually done so I feel like they wouldn’t care it more. At the end of the day, I’m still finding the balancing point of adapting or accepting my own culture as feel like it’s a daily I face a lot.

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我看的电影是《别告诉她》。 这部电影关于Billi和她家人中的文化区别， Billi从小在纽约长大。Billi的奶奶得了肺癌，而她全家选择不告诉奶奶这个消息是因为破坏奶奶的心情，这样奶奶还可以继续快快乐乐的活下去。 Billi家人决定回国看望奶奶， 为此，设计了她表弟的婚礼来找借口看奶奶。  但Billi总是想告诉奶奶她实情而说不出口。 这部电影围的情节绕着华人和西方人对生命的理解的差异，但Billi跟她家人沟通中才发现华人不希望看到悲伤，而想要人快快乐乐的活到底。 比方说，Billi跟她小姑拔火罐的时候，Billi说她觉得应该告诉奶奶实情。 而小姑表示他们虽然跟奶奶撒慌了，但那比让奶奶难过好多了。 我觉得这片段很有意思是因为她展示了中西方文化的差异； 西方文化强调个人都有了解自己的身体情况的权利， 而中国文化不愿意直接面对死亡。我觉得这片段很有意思是因为个人都觉得自己的看法是对的。 但是因为他们的文化不一样，所以不能理解彼此的文化和想法。

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The Farewell directly tackles the concept of "us and them" through the scene in which Billi and her families discuss, over dinner, whether or not they identify as Chinese or American. However, the entire plot indirectly allows viewers to consider the concept through the trope of Billi's grandmother's illness. Viewers are challenged to consider whether or not they agree with Billi or her family's view of handling the news of her grandmother's cancer. They are challenged to think: is it right to withhold the information from her grandmother or is it right to tell her so that she can seek treatment?

I personally have experienced this dilemma with own grandfather, who was also diagnosed with lung cancer. Before telling us of the news, the first words that my mom said were "don't tell your grandfather but…" so I chose to respect her wishes before formulating an opinion of my own. However, just like Billi, I felt a need to tell him but never did out of respect for my mother and due to my own wishes of letting my grandfather live the rest of his life happily. It was after his death, when my mother talked to her friends about her decision about keeping his cancer a secret, that withholding information about death from loved ones was a cultural thing. Her friends also agreed that it was a great decision and if they were put in the same situation, they wouldn’t have done it any other way. However, both my sister and I expressed regret that we couldn't 1) allow our grandpa to live a happier life before finding out about his illness and that 2) we couldn’t him anything. Just through these different perspectives of death, there was a divide between "us and them." My sister and I, 1.5 and 2 generation Chinese-Canadians (us), agreed with our mother's decision to some extent and had a different view on death because of cultural influences. However, my mother and her friends (them) decided it was best, in their opinion, to withhold such information.

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我看的电影叫“别告诉她”， 或者“The Farewell.” 在这个电影里，一个美国得华人叫Billi 的奶奶有癌症，好像要去世了。Billi陪她家人去中国给她奶奶说再见， 可是，他们都不告诉奶奶她生病了。这个电影很深厚会聊中国和美国的文化差异。在这个电影里，有一个很有意思的场景。Billi的爸爸和叔叔是在阳台一起抽烟。Billi问他们还告不告诉奶奶了。Billi的叔叔给她说的：中国人的文化，的看法是晚辈人别要吧老一辈人遭到。还有，在中国文化，家人是集体的，所以晚辈人的责任就是一起帮奶奶解除她的压力。叔叔说的因为Billi是很小来到美国的，她不会明白。我觉得这个交流是很有意思的：Billi和她的叔叔都是不满因为另外的人不明白她/他的看法，不过，他们都就要对奶奶做好事。他们个别的文化让他们不同意那个选择--告诉还是不告诉奶奶--是最好的。在Billi的美国得文化，诚实是最重要的，但是在叔叔的看法，给奶奶说一个善意的谎言是最好意的。 对奶奶的善心是最重要的。

The movie I watched was “别告诉她,” or “The Farewell.” In this movie, an American named Billie finds out that her grandmother has cancer and will likely die from it. She travels to China with her parents to say goodbye to her grandma, but none of her family members tell the grandmother that she’s sick. There’s a really interesting scene in this movie where Billie’s father and uncle are smoking on a balcony. Billie asks them if they’ve told grandma about her cancer yet. Billie’s uncle, in response, tells her that in Chinese culture, it’s the job of the younger generation to make sure people who are older don’t suffer. What’s more, Chinese people see family as a collective-- and it’s the responsibility of everyone in the family to carry their grandmother’s burden of knowledge for her. I found this scene so interesting because both Billie and her uncle are angry and resentful at the other for not understanding their own point of view-- but both of them only want to do what’s best for Nainai. It’s just their respective cultures that make them disagree about what’s the kindest course of action to take. In Billi’s American culture, honesty is the most important thing. But in Billi’s uncle’s view, telling a white lie to grandma is better-- it’s kindness that is the most important.

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我看的電影叫 Crazy Rich Asians。这部电影是一个关于文化不同，还有恋爱中不同的社会阶层。在这部电影里，有一个很有意思的片段。Rachel去Peik Lin的家的时候，Peik Lin 的妈妈告诉Rachel，“你叫我auntie"。在中國人的文化裏，年轻一代叫老年人 “auntie" 还有 “uncle" 是因为这是尊重的迹象。此外，这是一个例子家人朋友可以算是家庭。Rachel去Nick的家的时候，Rachel 结识，Nick的妈妈。Rachel 问Nick 的妈妈，我应该叫给你 “auntie" 还是 “Ms.Young”？然后 Rachel 说 "I'm still learning the lingo." 我觉如果你的国籍和种族是不同的, 同化进入社会是非常困难的。就像Rachel, 她不知道何时这是合适的对某人说些什么。

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The movie Crazy Rich Asians utilizes the themes of tradition to counter the concept of “us and them”. One of the most prominent examples in this movie is Rachel an American born Chinese woman goes to meet her boyfriend’s mother Eleanor in the homeland of Singapore. Throughout the movie, the concept of “us and them” is displayed indirectly and directly. Directly by having Nick’s mom Eleanor tell Rachel that “she will never be enough” for her son; because Rachel does not understand the sacrifices required for her to make in order for her to be good enough for her son. Eleanor laments over Rachel’s American ideology of pursing one’s passions and dreams over the Chinese tradition of making sacrifices for the family over pursing their own passion. Indirectly, a common tradition for Nick’s family is to fold dumplings together as a way to bring the family together. However, Rachel does not understand the concept behind such as she grew up in a non-nuclear family evident as she reveals she grew up without a father. These examples throughout the movie highlight the differences in cultures and how this affects the treatment you receive. In this movie, Rachel may have the same skin colour as the rest of Nick’s family, but she does not have a grasp on the traditional ideologies to really assimilate into the family.

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1. 我看的電影叫Crazy Rich Asians。這是一個關於很有錢的新加坡人的電影。這部電影有兩個主角：Nick和Rachel。Nick是從一個很有錢的家來美國生活，然後Rachel是個ABC和數學的老師。他們兩個約會，所以Nick想帶Rachel去Singapore介紹他的家人給她。在這部電影裏，有一個很有意思的場景。這是Rachel跟Nick的家人一起包餃子的場景。Rachel一邊包餃子，一邊跟Nick的家人聊天。Rachel看到Nick的媽媽（她叫Eleanor）的結婚戒指的時候，Rachel就問Eleanor她是怎麽認識Nick的爸爸。Nick回答他的父母是一起在Cambridge讀法律的時候認識。然後Rachel以爲Eleanor是個律師，但是Eleanor告訴Rachel她跟Nick的爸爸結婚後就退學了。從這個場景，我發現了亞洲人是怎麽重視家庭的重要。雖然Eleanor可能跟她的丈夫一樣變成一位很有名的律師，但是他們兩個一結婚的時候，她只能想關於她家的東西。這是代表亞洲人的想法：家人是最重要的。西方人的想法就相反呢；他們覺得自己是最重要的。比方説，我們可以看到Rachel一聽到Eleanor以前讀過法律，她就以爲Eleanor現在是個律師。這是因爲她沒想過Eleanor退學的可能。從這個場景，我們可以看到亞洲人重視家人，反而西方人重視事業。

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2. In Lulu Wang’s “The Farewell”, we get an inside look into the nuances and intricacies of Chinese culture through the eyes of our main character Billi, an ABC. Though she is an ABC,  I still found myself relating to her a lot, though initially I was not completely sure why. After some thought, I have come to realize it is due to how her identity of being intercultural is depicted. Throughout the movie, Billi advocates strongly for telling her grandmother of her impending death, despite her entire family disagreeing with her. In one particular scene, her uncle Haibin tells her why they cannot tell the grandmother of her death. He explains that in the Eastern way of thinking, telling the grandmother would be a selfish act, as it is the family’s responsibility to carry the burden of the truth for the grandmother so that she may pass happily and easily. He explains how everyone’s lives are connected, which is why they must carry out this duty. Of course, we can see that Billi still objects to this Eastern way of thinking, by her glare at her uncle and her many emotional outbursts throughout the film. This is in stark contrast to how her family, and especially Uncle Haibin, react logically and without emotion to the situation and Billi’s outbursts. This contrast, however, gets completely reversed near the end of the movie, when Uncle Heibin breaks down in a speech dedicated to his mother, revealing how much he cares for her. Billi on the other hand, is able to keep herself together near the end, even going so far as to intercept and alter medical results to keep the grandmother’s health a secret. It is a complete reversal of what happens earlier in the movie, with Uncle Heibin’s breakdown following a more western, “selfish” response to the situation (since his outburst may have tipped off the grandmother that something was wrong) while Billi follows the more eastern philosophy by fulfilling her family’s wishes, despite it clashing with her personal beliefs. This reversal is an indication that though philosophies between the west and east may differ, at the end of the day they still stem from a state of humanity that can be shared equally by both sides. Being from one culture or another does not lock you into acting one specific way, and we can see this through Billi’s character change. The intercultural aspect of her personality allows her to be flexible in being able to understand and sympathize with conflicting ways of thinking from both cultures. I think the crux of her character’s relatability lies here; almost all ABCs and CBCs have been in a situation where the clashing ideals of the east and the west have impacted their way of thinking, yet Billi represents a way forward that acknowledges and respects both sides. I believe that one of Lulu Wang’s messages she wanted to convey to the audience is shown through Billi’s character: one of acceptance, that you cannot find peace with one culture without trying to understand the other.

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我看的电视节目是叫”Kim’s Conveinience”. 这个电视节目是讲一个韩国家庭住在加拿大Toronto的生活方式。我看了这个电视节目的第7节。这个集在讲这个韩国家庭的两个孩子，Janet和Jung，的日常生活。在这节里，Janet想学Hapkido，所以她跟她的朋友一起去学。可是Janet爸爸觉得他比Janet的Hapkido老师更好，他觉得Janet应该叫他帮她学Hapkido。Jung遇到他的前女友从温哥华来，然后请他吃饭。他的前女友答应他可是在餐馆里他们看见他们两个妈妈正在等他们。他们两个妈妈马上开始讲他们赚多少钱和他们应该搬到同一个城市里。中国人很喜欢光小孩的事情可是我发现韩国人也喜欢光小孩的事情。比方说，中国人常常不拍很直接的讨论孩子谈恋爱/结婚的事情。Jung妈妈和他的前女友的妈妈在讲他们为什么对一起很配合，应该约会。可是Jung和他的前女友从都感觉很尴尬。我觉得家长光他们的小孩的事是因为他们关心他们的小孩。可是因为Jung在西方文化中长大，他不喜欢他的妈妈多管闲事。但是我觉得Jung和Jung的妈妈都应该互相了解对方的想发。

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The concept of “Us and Them” is prominent in Kim’s Convenience. In episode 7, Mr. Kim disapproves his daughter learning martial arts from someone else, especially when he thought the teacher was not Korean. He felt that what she has learned are wrong techniques, and that he rather takes matter into his own hand and teach his daughter. Later when he learns that the teacher is indeed Korean and is a well-known martial artist, his whole attitude changed towards the situation. This “outside” and “inside” people relation is often seen in Chinese culture too. I still remember when I was young, my mom would teach me math, specifically her way of doing it, and say what I’m learning in school are the wrong or dumb way of doing math. She would force me to do the questions her way and ignore the methods taught in school. When the level of math got harder and she can no longer teach me, she would specifically find Chinese tutors to teach me, as she felt only Chinese are good at math and that their way of thinking is more advanced (in terms of math) compared to other races. Getting non-Chinese tutors and learning from school was like learning from “outside” people, which, to my mom, was not a trusty method. Whereas, if the person who is teaching is Chinese, they would be viewed better even if they aren’t, as they are seen as “inside” people. Even when I go back to china to visit my extended family, they would ask specifically about how I’m doing in math. When they see I struggle in math, they would often be disappointed and stress that I need to get a tutor immediately. However, when I tell them my struggles for other subjects like English, they don’t seem to care or show any worry. So, there is obviously an underline expectation that Chinese and Asians should be good at their cultural aspects, and when one is not, they are viewed as a disgrace by others.

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我看的电影叫《幸福会》，是关于四个从中国移民到美国的妈妈和她们的女儿。这部电影讲到这两代人在美国追求幸福的难处。这部电影有一个片段讲到Waverly给她的家人介绍她的男朋友Rich。我觉得这个场景很有意思，因为虽然Waverly教了Rich如何表现，她还是忘了一些很重要的点，像怎么用筷子和中国人说话的真正的意思。比方说，Waverly的妈妈Lindo说她做的菜不好吃的时候，Rich是因该说这道菜是他吃过的最好吃的菜，可是他往菜里面加了酱油，让Lindo很不开心。在我看来，Rich的表现并不表明他不希望能了解中国文化，犯的错误只是因为Waverly不可能把中国的文化全都讲解清楚。我发现，想要了解一个人的文化需要很多时间，得常常更那个文化有交往。到后面，Lindo学会接受Rich，然后Rich也慢慢的了解中国文化。虽然有些时候，这些文化差异很难接受，但是花时间去理解为什么摸个人会说这句话或者做这种事会让你对世界的理解扩大。

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我看的电影叫“不告诉她”。这个电影讲的就是一个华人回国的故事，为了看到她快要死的奶奶。因为主角和她家人的文化很不一样，她们有很多冲突。在这个电影里，一个很有意思的情节就是主角不能告诉她的奶奶她快要死了，因为在中国文化里，很多人不想要快要死的人担心。所以，为了他们好，家人平常会骗生病的人，告诉他们他们没有问题。我观察到这是因为他们的集体主义思想。因为为了病人的好，每个人会承担他的负担。这跟西方文化不一样，因为他们常常会告诉病人他们快要死了。在这个电影里，他们说这是因为西方人不想承担别人的负担，他们只管自己。我觉得这是一个很有意思的看法，但是我不知道这是不是对的。我觉得西方人不会骗病人因为他们认为每个人有权利知道他们自己身体的状态。但是这可能还是跟这个电影说的有关系，因为在西方文化里，个人权利很重要，而且这跟中国的集体主义有反对。

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In episode 8 of Kim’s Conveinience, there is the concept of outsider and insider. When the new pastor joins Mr. Kim insists that the new pastor doesn’t have to pay at their store, but mostly to try and convince Mrs. Kim that the other pastor needs to start paying at their store as well. However, she doesn’t understand the idea of “subeesu” (service) in which she doesn’t have to pay at the store which causes her to be uncomfortable. The difference in culture cases this divide and causes her to pay Mrs. Kim behind his back. However, Mr. Kim understands that in Canada there is this difference in culture so by being “fair” he finally is able to push the idea that everyone should pay, including the other pastor.

In the same episode, Janet starts to date Jung’s friend. He finds their relationship strange because he is her brother and but he decides to invite them to him and his roommate’s Nacho Sunday Night in an effort to make it less weird for him. However, Kimchee feels that Nacho Sunday is only for him and Jung to hang out and he sees his sister and her boyfriend as outsiders. Kimchee possibly feels this way because he doesn’t want people he is less comfortable with intruding on his time to relax with his good friend Jung. Though this scene is not necessarily a cultural difference, there is still that concept of outsider and insider that exists.

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我看的電視劇叫“Kim’s Convenience”。這是一個關於來自韓國的一個家庭在多倫多經營一家便利店。儘管孩子是在多倫多長大的，但父母雙方都是韓國移民。 因為父母來自韓國，所以他們的思維方式與孩子截然不同。在電視節目中，我們關注父母和孩子在彼此理解時的衝突。

在這部電視劇裡，我覺得有非常多很有意義的片段，但我選的場景是在第一季第二集裡。在這個場景中，Janet（女兒）發現她的父親一直在賣她的照片。因此，她對她的父親生氣並與他吵架。在他們的戰鬥結束之前，她的父親說她很忘恩負義，他和媽媽並沒有犧牲他們在韓國的生活，只是為了讓他們的女兒浪費時間照相。

從這個場景中，我們可以看到Janet的價值觀與父親的價值觀之間的差異。儘管Janet的想法更西化了，並且相信她應該做任何讓自己快樂的事情，但她父親認為，要想成功，她必須賺很多錢。因此，他看不起Janet作為攝影師的職業選擇。我覺得作為亞洲移民，對孩子的期望是很高。這是因為您努力工作，以便您的孩子長大後可以過上更好的生活。儘管這個節目是從韓國人的角度來看的，但我認為中國移民的想法也非常相似。

儘管他們的想法大不相同，我覺得他們想法的原因卻很相似。我相信Janet和她的父親都希望她過上幸福的生活，但是他們對幸福的看法卻截然不同。我認為，由於他們的文化差異，他們相互誤解了，這才是造成衝突的原因。

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The opening narration of The Joy Luck Club talks about the dreams of the mothers who bring their daughters to America, where they will face none of the sorrows the mother themselves face. However, they are faced with reality upon arriving, and only the memory of their “good intentions” remains.

Even then, their good intentions are often broken, as with June’s mom forcing her to play piano and achieve perfection. The argument between June and her mother about quitting piano, June yelling that she can’t make her play and her mom dragging her to the piano, is a moment of ignorance between them that many immigrant children are familiar with.

For young June, her culture says that she gets to be her own person and doesn’t need to live for the expectations of her mom. However, she is unable to understand that her mom wants her to be so perfect because of all her hardships in China, having lost so much to allow her to live a better life in America. I think these kinds of intercultural misunderstandings happen a lot because it’s difficult to see the bigger picture. How can a child understand the pain her mother went through to give her freedom? And how could a mother who has suffered so much look at her child and not see a future where the daughter might suffer as much as she once did because she didn't prepare her well enough?

Although these moments are painful, I think that overcoming these and learning to understand the other side is one of the ways to avoid the intergenerational inheritance of a sense of loss. One day, the child will understand why the mother did what she did, and one day, the mother will come to understand how much the child was hurt by the pursuit of perfection, and they can rectify their traumas together.

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在“别告诉她”里，我找到了两个短语话里有话，和两个行为里有意思。每一个次奶奶看到Billi是感伤的时候，她给Billi夹菜，说“多吃一点儿吧！” Billi最先来到奶奶的家里吃饭的时候，她的面子看得像她好像哭了，所以奶奶给她夹菜。 在喜宴的时候，Billi 也是很苦闷，所以奶奶给她夹菜，说 “多吃一点儿”。 我觉得中国人常常会用饰物表演爱心。奶奶很爱Billi，但是不知道她为什么沉闷，所以她和很多中国人用菜默默无言说“我关心你的身体，我关心你”。

第二个也是关心的意思。在 “别告诉她” 里，很多人常常说“别担心”。 这个短语也有关心的意思-- 因为中国人觉得别人对他们担心是们很多压力，所以中国人常常要告诉家人朋友们不担心。在喜宴的时候，妈妈问姨奶奶她怎么样，奶奶走了以后她要做什么？姨奶奶就说的：“别担心我，” 因为她不要妈妈受他的压力。再说，有一次奶奶问了她的照片子看的怎么样。姨奶奶也说“不担心，” 因为她和她家人要一起受奶奶的负担。这是“别告诉她”的最重要的关于：受别的人的负担。大家都不告诉奶奶因为他们觉得他们的责任就是受奶奶的负担。我觉得是一个关于对很多中国人有意义。再说，Billi的妈妈很不喜欢抒情，也不以为然Billi抒情。妈妈觉得给别人看到她的情感是像给别人她的负担， 所以她抑制她的情感，因为觉得是最德的事情。我觉得这也是中国文化：让别人不担心你，不抒情，所以别人不会受负担。

In The Farewell, I noticed two phrases that had hidden meanings, and two unspoken gestures that I found interesting. Every time that Nainai noticed Billi was sad in the movie, she would help Billi to more food, and tell her to eat more. The first time that Billi showed up at Nainai’s house for dinner, her face looked like she was about to cry, so Nainai heaped up her plate. When Billi was depressed again at the wedding banquet, Nainai gently added more food to her plate and offered a sweet “多吃异地点儿” -- “eat a little more.” I think Chinese people often express love through food. For example, a common greeting when seeing friends is “have you eaten?” Nainai really loves Billi, but doesn’t know why she’s sad, so she, like many Chinese people, uses food to silently say “I worry and care about your health, I care about you.”

The second phrase and gesture is also about caring for other people. In The Farewell, the characters often say “don’t worry,” or “don’t worry about me.” This phrase is a form of caring, because Chinese people often feel that having others worry about them puts a lot of pressure on the others. So they tell friends and family not to worry about them as a way of taking off that pressure. At the wedding banquet, Billi’s mom asks Nainai’s younger sister what she’ll do after Nainai passes away. Her sister answers, “don’t worry about me,” because she doesn’t want Billi’s mother to have to think about or bear any of the pressure she’s under. In one scene, Nainai asks about the results of her X-ray. and Nainai’s sister responds “don’t worry.” She and the family have decided that they will collectively bear the emotional burden of Nainai’s cancer diagnosis for her. That’s the main theme of The Farewell: bearing the emotional burden of others. They never tell Nainai because they believe it’s their responsibility to bear her burden. I think this theme has a lot of meaning for other Chinese people. Billi’s mother hates showing her emotions, and disapproves of Billi being so emotional. Her mother feels like other people seeing her emotions is a burden on them. She represses her emotions because she believes it’s the most virtuous thing to do. I think this is also a teaching of Chinese culture-- don’t let others worry about you, and don’t openly express your feelings, so that you aren’t a burden on others.

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我最近看的电影叫The Farewell。这是一个关于中国老人生病的时候，她的家人怎么反应。在这个电影，主演Awkwafina是Billie，一个中国华人在美国长大，她的奶奶得到癌症了，只有三个月，但是她的家庭没告诉她有这个病，所以全家都回到中国陪她。对中国人来说，他们不要告诉Billie的奶奶他快要死亡了，因为他们不想让她担心。但是Billie在美国长大，在西方文化如果一个人生病了医生和家人应该告诉他，所以开始时Billie想告诉她的奶奶，但他父母和亲戚不要他说，这个情况对Billie特别困难。在这部电影里，有一个很有意思的场景，Billie的奶奶要求了医疗报告，所以Billie去修改医疗报告，结果奶奶没发现她的生病。这个照片是Billie和她的亲戚，我觉得这个照片很有意义，是因为Billie在这时候决定她不想告诉他的奶奶。Billie有两个不同的文化影响，一方面她的奶奶应该知道这个事情，另一方面他的亲戚不让他奶奶发现这个事情。以死亡为例这个电影表示出来中国和西方不同的文化想法。我觉得这两个不同的想法都有道理，因为我也是中国华人在西方长大的，我可以理解Billie的不容易选择。

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In the show “Kim’s Convenience”, I believe that the concept of “Us and Them” is very apparent in the way that the show is laid out. We see as the Kim family is divided into two groups, parent and children, and while the children who were born in Toronto are very westernized, the parents on the other hand hold on to their Korean cultural traditions. Throughout the show, I’ve seen many scenes where the parents are criticized by their children for not understanding western culture, and the children are criticized by their parents for not understanding Korean culture.

I think that the way the story is told is very unique because when we see the concept of insiders and outsiders, it is not usually displayed between parents and children. However, this show’s comedic factor is very reliant on the misunderstandings within the Kim family. Every episode usually progresses from conflict to reasoning to resolution and we see that the majority of their conflicts stems from cultural misunderstandings. While the parents are unable to understand western ways of thinking, the children, especially Janet is unable to understand eastern ways of thinking.

When comparing the concept of “Us and Them” displayed in the show to my own life, I can’t really relate to them. Whether it be at home with my family, or out in the city, I’ve never felt like an outsider in Vancouver or in Taiwan. Although my parents weren’t born in Canada, they moved here when they were still in high school. I believe that since they lived half their life surrounded by Asian culture, and half their life surrounded by western culture, their intercultural understanding is very different from other immigrants. Because of this, they raised me in a very culturally mixed environment. My parents taught me both Chinese and English, and although they wanted me to understand my cultural background, they never forced Chinese culture onto me.

Similarly, my family in Taiwan also never displayed the concept of “Us and Them”. Whenever I would return there, they would never treat me like a guest, but always like family, like they treated everyone else. They would never criticize my broken Chinese, or western habits, which is why I think that I never felt like an outsider.

Although I’m unable to relate to the concept of “Us and Them” or Insider Outsider displayed in “Kim’s Convenience”, I am still able to understand where they’re coming from. It is hard being an immigrant in a foreign place, and trying to fit in but I think that the show does a very good job at depicting growth and an increase in intercultural understanding between members of the Kim family.

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In the movie "The Farewell",  the clash of western and Chinese culture differences are shown in many scenes, in a way that I could relate to. The Chinese concept of outsider and insider was present during many of the conflicts. For instance, when the protagonist constantly questions the family's decision to not tell her grandma that she is dying, she is treated more harshly than her father, who also questions the decision, because she grew up in a western country while her father didn't. Furthermore, there is a dinner scene where the protagonist's westernized family argues with their Chinese family about living in the states; the Chinese family argues that it's much easier making money in China and try to say that living in China is better, while the protagonist's family defends America. Both sides are noticeably uncomfortable with outsiders criticizing their own country or country's way of thinking. I've had this experience before with my girlfriend who grew up in China. We often become defensive when talking about Canada or China with each other, despite both of us being a part of both countries, because I'm more Canadian than her, while she identifies more as Chinese.

This movie also demonstrates a clash in cultural beliefs of individualism versus collectivism. The protagonist's uncle says that she doesn't understand because she grew up in a western country, where "one's life belongs to themselves", while in China, each person's life belongs to something bigger; their family, or society. This came off as slightly condescending, and the uncle further insinuates that she was being selfish for wanting to tell her grandma the truth, when in reality it's quite possible for the opposite to be true; maybe the grandma would want to know the truth, but she is being lied to.

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In the movie “The Farewell”, the main character, Billie, is a Chinese ethnic raised in America and surrounded by American cultural values and influence. When she returns to China to see her grandmother as she is about to die from Cancer, she struggles internally as she feels like her grandmother has the right to know about her illness. However, the rest of her family takes the Chinese view on things and unanimously decided to hide the fact from her. Everyone from the immediate family, to extended relatives, to friends, and even doctors in China all collaborate to hide the fact from her. This fact is something that is just accepted in Chinese culture. To be a true Chinese person in this view is to accept things like this. In the first scene when Billie returns to China, she eats dinner with all her relatives. During this time, her uncle who lives in Japan, claims that no matter what he will always be Chinese in the end and not Japanese despite having his like in Japan with a Japanese influenced child. Afterwards, while walking Billie to a nearby hotel, he lectures her saying that not telling her grandmother was for the best and that this was just how things are in China. This is further reaffirmed in the scene with the doctor where even the doctor agrees with the family’s decision saying that this is just how China is like. Although we can sympathize with Billie’s views, to everyone in China, she is the outsider holding weird foreign views. So, in one sense, while Billie is Chinese and her family especially her grandmother accepts her, she feels out of place in China due to her contrasting views.