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Older adult's name:Connie Santorelli Relationship to you: Grandma

Tentative interview dates a. 9/21 b. 9/15

Planned interview method: Face to face

Older adult’s permission to include photos/video? Yes

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The first 5 words that come to my mind when I think about an older adult is, sweet, story telling, slow moving, wise, and experienced.

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Connie's first memories come from a happy home. She learned very quickly that her joy did not come from money or objects. It came from her mom, dad, and three sisters. She explained that they never had much money, but her parents never let them know this. They grew up in a house full of love and fun. Connie described her first memory, from when her sister Jan was a newborn baby. She stated that she had a cold and was not allowed to see the new baby, but her dad held her up in the window of the kitchen so that she could see her baby sister for the first time. She laughed to me as she explained it was ironic that Jan was her first memory, as they never quite got along during their childhood. Despite the bickering with her sisters. She stated how much she loved them, and how all of her memories are fond. They would walk into town with a quarter to buy bread for the family, and even jump rope every day after dinner. She said her dad was a professional at swinging the rope.

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Connie currently suffers from Parkinson's disease, and has been moved to assisted living within the past year. She explained that this was a difficult move for her, but she knew she needed the help as she has already fallen once since moving in. She is grateful for her children looking out for her and moving her when they did. She fell in October and suffered a pelvic fracture. Due to the Parkinson's and the fracture, she describes herself as tired most of the time, and stated how difficult it is to do everything each day. Her current goal is to walk again, even with a walker, since the recent fall has landed her in a wheelchair. She continues to show so much strength, and talk about how blessed she is to be declining physically and not mentally. She works each day with physical therapy, and always has an optimistic personality. Her gratitude is shown through everything she says, and she hopes to continue to get to spend time with her family, and get to know others in her assisted living facility. Following the interview she thanked me for jogging her memory on everything she has done in her life, and how much I made her smile. I truly believe this reflects her loving and kind personality and how truly grateful she is for every moment.

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Connies middle, and adult life is where she built the foundation for where our family is at now. She explained to me that she absolutely loved school, and could not wait to go to college. She would do each homework assignment twice, she was just so grateful to be there. Academics were not the only thing that came out of college for Connie. This is where she met her husband Frank, and the rest is history. She explained that she met Frank on the stairs outside of one of the buildings on campus, he came up and talked to her and they went their separate ways. They later reconnected at a party through a mutual friend, where they "danced up a storm" and later began dating. They were married shortly after. During this time Connie started her work at Blue Cross. Along with school this was also something she loved. She explained that she loved every single person she worked with and the environment was fantastic. She also said that she loved that she felt like she was doing some real good in the world. While she was there HIPPA was designed and she got to be apart of that, she found this fascinating. Aside from work, she also began a family with Frank. They had 3 beautiful children, Frank (Jr.), Joe, and Jessie. She also mentioned the loss of her very first baby, and explained that they believed it was due to a nausea medication she took during her pregnancy that is no longer on the market. She said the loss of the baby was horrible, but it led her to the wonderful family she has today. She describes her children as hilarious and never difficult. She says she has the absolute best kids. Her favorite memories from this time of her life were her childrens weddings, and how much fun she had at each and every one.

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After her children were married off, Connie reflected on the birth of each of her grandchildren and what a blessing they were. She calls all of her grandchildren "perfect, beautiful, smart, and funny" and also states "there is not an odd one in the bunch". When speaking on this topic Connie began to get emotional as it brought up the death of her husband Frank. Frank passed away in 2011. She said that this was the hardest time in her life. They were soulmates, and he was taken from her too soon. She cried and cried and cried, and shared that she is still on "happy pills" to this day, which make it very difficult for her to get emotional. She explained that she wished he was still around to see what our family has become today and to watch each of the grandchildren grow, but was relieved to know he would never see her in the state she is in right now. She finds most of her comfort in all of the happy memories they shared together. She said she wished she had pictures to share, but most of them got lost in the move and she no longer has access to them.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to let me interview you, I was so glad I got to spend the afternoon with you. I have always loved spending time with you, but getting the chance to sit down, hear your stories, and learn more about your life meant so much.

One of my favorite parts of the conversation was hearing the joy in your voice as you talked about your childhood and our family. Your memories of peeking into the kitchen to see baby Jan, and playing jump rope with your dad gave me just a small peek into the wonderful life you lived. I loved listening to the story of how you met Boppy, it made me feel so much closer to him even though he is no longer here. I cant help but think how proud he would be of our family, and how we have grown.

You had so many meaningful memories, but what surprised me most was how deeply you feel everything. I was so young when we lost Boppy, that you did such a great job hiding it and coping with it for the sake of all of us, and it was hard to hear how much you struggled. The love you still have for him, as well as the love for you children and grandchildren shows how strong you are. You truly are a blessing to our entire family, and I admire everything about you.

I gained so much from talking to you, not just about your life but also that I want to age to be just like you. You have so much love and you always know how to make me laugh. You reminded me that live isn't about money or fancy things, its about family, and being grateful for everyday with what you have, even if its not much. Having this conversation with you made me realize that no matter how much older you get, or how hard life gets you can still choose happiness and gratitude.

We are so lucky to have you as the leader of our family and ill cherish the time I get to spend with you forever. I love you so much, and thank you again for meeting with me.

Love,

Payton

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The completion of this assignment was meaningful to me in more ways then one. It was truly eye opening, and not only did I get to learn more about my grandma and my family, but I also got to bring up fond memories for her and get to make her smile. From the moment we started talking I could tell how much she loved thinking back. She smiled the entire time, and laughed as she described the people/memories that mean the most to her. During most of the conversations I was feeling curious, I had heard snippets about my grandmothers life, or my dad's life, but I had never heard the full story. My grandma and I have always been close so it was really easy to have a good conversation with her and there were no awkward pauses. This interview helped me to see her as more then just my grandma, but as the person she grew up as and who she was before I even existed.

To make sure she was comfortable sharing, I tried my best to use therapeutic communication skills with each question asked. I sat close to her and made sure I did not use any offensive words, and ensured she didn't think I thought of her as just "old". Due to her Parkinson's she has trouble remebering details, dates, or losing her train of thought so I made sure to give her plenty of time to think through an answer, and reassured her when she couldnt come up with what she wanted to say. While interviewing I also used open ended questions to allow her freedom in her answers, most of the time this led us into a conversation rather then a yes or no answer really strenghtening the topics of the conversation. I chose to use all of these strategies because I believe they were the most successful and respectful way to provide a space for her to communicate with me. It worked perfectly as it was not an up tight interview, it was a casual conversation where she was able to laugh and think about memories she hasn't for years.

This experience connects to many of the readings we do in class. The class topic that I found myself wondering about was depression in later life. The State of Mental Health and Aging in America states that "Risk factors for late-onset depression include widowhood, physical illness"(CDC, n.d.). This made me think because my grandmother suffers from both of these risk factors, and I never thought she was suffering from depression. Hearing her talk about my Boppy (grandpa), helped me understand the impact of greif and how it never truly goes away. She also told me she continues to take "happy pills" and how hard it was when he passed away. This brought into perspective how long she has probably been suffering from these symptoms. The connection between the readings and class have helped me gain a new appreciation for the importance of mental health in adults, because there are probably many of them suffering that we don't know about.

In addition to depression in later life, I also connected my grandmothers story to using life story work to enhance care. Thompson (2011) explained that when caregivers truly understand the patient that they are working with and what their values are it can improve their relationships and communication leading to better care. During the interview with my grandma I saw how meaningful this can be. She opened up more and more with each story, and I believe this could be beneficial to her care, because the more she feels like she can share, she more she will be honest with the providers. There are moments in time where my grandmother will stretch the truth with how well she is doing, and I think having a more trusting relationship would allow her to fully lean into her care.

When I began this class, the 5 words I used to describe her were sweet, storytelling, slow moving, wise, and experienced. After completing my interview I believe that each of these words still are true, they just have a deeper meaning then before. The word "sweet" reminds me how kind she is to each and every person. "Storytelling" is an example of the joy she gets when explaining the past. "Slow Moving" is not a bad thing, but it reminds me to enjoy the little moments in life because you never know when it is going to change. "Wise" and "Experienced" reminded me of how much she has truly lived through and how much she has to teach me.

This assignment will without a doubt influence my job as a future nurse. I used many skills like, active listening, empathy, patience, which are all good for future practice. Not only did I get to practice my own skills, but I also got to hear everything from the patients point of view. I can understand that every patient is different and just taking the time to get to know them and who they are can make a world of difference in the type of care I provide. This experienced has taught me not just to treat the diagnoses, but to slow down and treat each patient.

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (n.d.). The state of mental health and aging in America. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. https://www.cdc.gov/aging/pdf/mental_health.pdf

Thompson, R. (2011). Using life story work to enhance care. Nursing Older People, 23(8), 16–21.