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I had known for quite a few years that this master's degree in leadership studies was what I wanted to (and would eventually) do. I did not choose to do this program in the hopes of gaining a better paying job in a leadership role (although that has been a result), but rather, when I looked at the course descriptions, I thought it was the type of program that would make me a better person. I was genuinely interested in learning about the topics presented within each course, and I love that the  narratives I have always told myself are constantly being challenged. I think that leadership studies is far less about leadership in terms of what we, as a society, commonly perceive a leader to be, but rather leadership studies is about self-discovery and making the world a better place.

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My group's collage from one of Darlene's classes.

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In my youth, I loved two things: art and music. In school, these were the courses that I excelled at, despite the fact that I never really considered myself an artist or a musician. I am, however, quite creative, but somewhere along my journey, I lost this side of myself.

Maybe it was just that I got caught up in the seriousness and busyness of being an adult, and I'm sure completing an undergrad in business didn't help either, but when I started my MEd Program, a familiar feeling washed over me.

It was the feeling of peace. In both Darlene's Adult Education course as well as in Willow's Leadership course, we were able to participate in creative projects just for the sake of being creative. There was no wrong or right way to do things. There was no pressure of grading, there was no judgement, and there was no time to plan. We were just given the materials and told to create - how freeing!

I was reminded of when I was younger and I would sit in my room and draw or write simply for my own enjoyment. Those courses reminded me of how much fun I had been missing out on.

I am still unsure of what I want to do for my final project, but because I was given those opportunities to explore my creativity, I know that whatever I choose to do, I want it to be creative. I love telling a story through creative means and allowing others to interpret it however they see fit. I love making a statement and stirring up emotions. I can hyper focus on a creative project and spend countless hours editing the tiniest of details; it's exhausting, but in the most incredibly satisfying way.

I am so grateful to the instructors within the Leadership Studies Program for incorporating creativity and arts-based methods into their classrooms, and for helping to awaken my creative spirit.

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Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen Revision - A Story

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Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen Revision - A Story

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When I first saw the ad in the local paper, it sounded like an amazing opportunity: The chance to be a member (owner) of a cooperatively run cafe, where I could share my creative ideas and gain leadership skills, was something that I thought I would really enjoy.

After submitting a resume and nailing the interview, I was hired, and after a trial period of six months, I was voted in as an official member. I loved not having a boss lurking over my shoulder, and I felt a sense of belonging with the other group members.

We would meet on a bi-weekly basis to discuss various agenda items, and decisions were made by the majority vote. This worked for a while, however, as time went on, cliques began to form and decisions were being made outside of the co-op's voting agreement.

There were also issues of resentment towards those members who did not contribute as much time to duties outside of regular working hours. The majority of the workload fell on the shoulders of a select few, which included me, and without the benefits of paid time off, burnout was setting in.

I began to feel as though the co-op model was not all it was cracked up to be, and eventually I got fed up and quit my job. At the time of my departure, there had been seven of us running the business, and I was left wondering how any single person has the stamina to run a business on their own. I also wondered if having a boss (or someone defined as the leader) is actually better and more effective than the co-op model. I think in both instances, it might just depend on the people (or person) and the leadership skills/style that they bring to the table, or maybe co-operative models are better suited for volunteer groups and/or housing and not businesses that are for-profit.

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I remember once, telling my roommate that for every judgemental comment or criticism he gave me, it had to be followed by a compliment. He thought the idea was completely absurd, and I said, "that's how things are done! If you have something negative to say, you start by saying something positive and end with something positive to soften the blow. You've never hard of this?!" He had not.

I had always assumed that this was just the way things were done, so in class, when we discussed the shit sandwich along with the idea of not saying "great job." I was intrigued to learn more.

I realized from that conversation that although I have always thought of myself as a good communicator, and I typically appreciate just getting to the point and having a real conversation about things, I followed the shit sandwich method because I thought that being direct would be viewed as a negative approach or the "wrong" way to lead/give feedback. Now I think that the direct approach is a better way to provide feedback, however, I still think that the delivery of direct feedback matters, and there is a certain level of tact that needs to be employed for it to be effective. (Note: That's something that I think my roommate could work on.)

More and more, I am realizing that to be a good leader, I really just need to trust my instincts and not worry about how other people are doing things. In other words, I need to stop following and find what feels good and works for me.

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Our society teaches us that we should value busyness and being productive. I have always hated the phrase "I'll sleep when I'm dead," and yet, I would often find myself taking on way too much, and I would push myself until I inevitably reached a point of burnout.

My last visit to Ontario in 2019 (which was also the last time I saw my Grampa before he died) was a reminder that I needed to make some changes and set some boundaries in terms of my time and my health. I'm still a work in progress, but I have been learning to shift my priorities, focus on what's important in my life, and recognize when I need a break.

"I have something to show you" he said. "Follow me." I followed my Grampa down the rickety old staircase to the unfinished basement. There, he took me over to the back corner of the room and said "look what I just bought."

I looked over, and sitting on a table to the right, was a flashy, bright cherry red record player. My Grampa knows that I love music (maybe I get this from him), and so we sat down together and he put on a record.

It was an old country album from the 30's or 40's - I'm not sure to be exact. My Grampa proceeded to tell me that he chose this record player because not only did it look great, but it also had great sound; not "tinny" like the others he had tested. He went through his record collection and shared stories about the musicians, where he bought the record, why he bought the record, and so on.

In that moment, I felt completely connected to my Grampa. We spent the next hour or so listening to music and talking about life. When we were ready to head back upstairs, he lifted the record player arm, removed the record, and carefully put it away. "Well, I'm ready for a nap" he said. "Me too" I said. And so with a smile on my face, I followed my Grampa as we made our way out of the unfinished basement and up the rickety old staircase. Slowing down never felt so good.

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My touchstone story was written about when I worked at a cooperatively run cafe in Ontario. Although all decisions were to be made by democratic vote, there ended up being dominant voices and cliques, which caused a divide between members. Ultimately, I was left wondering if it is even possible to run a successful cooperatively run for profit business or if it is necessary to have a designated leader to guide the decision-making to ensure that objectives are met.

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Last fall I attended an Indigenous cedar basket weaving workshop at UVic's Legacy Art Gallery. It was great to get out of my head and work with my hands to create something new. I had never weaved anything before this day, and I loved the concept of learning by doing, which is far different from the notion of learning everything from a textbook.

I made a lot of mistakes; I had to take my basket apart and redo the weaving over and over again. I was told that if I started to feel frustrated, I should take a break and walk around to see what other people were doing and that way I could return to my work with a good heart and mind. As the day progressed, the weaving got easier, and I even made some happy accidents along the way that other participant's wanted me to teach them. I think this is kind of like the process of learning your leadership style; just keep trying until something sticks, but be flexible enough to let go if you need to.

Additionally, I loved that for one afternoon, even though I so badly just wanted to "get it" and have a finished product by the end of the day, I was able to just trust the process and not rush things; this is a lesson that I think about often and I am continually trying to incorporate into my daily life.

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Just for fun: This guy definitely makes my workday much more enjoyable.

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So he doesn't have the best work ethic, but if you needed someone to lead nap time, you've found your guy.

We all have the capacity to lead.

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These are the different ways in which I armour up:
- Perfectionism
- Fostering fear and failure
- Hustling for my worth
- Attaching productivity to self worth
- Zigzagging and avoiding

I have pretty bad anxiety, and I find myself asking the chicken or the egg question in regards to which came first. Does my anxiety cause me to have this armour or does my armour cause the anxiety?? It's like a never-ending cycle.

I like that I have a daring leadership list to help me combat this armour of mine, and I hope to practice a few of these ideas in my own work and life.

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I will always love this video, as it disrupts the common narratives that we are told about leadership... and it's just plain fun. :)

I did my undergrad in business, so as you can imagine, everything that I thought I knew about leadership was strictly from a business context.

I always felt like I wasn't a good leader because I didn't "fit" with any of the theories I had learned. I had also strangely assumed that what I was taught about leadership was the be all and end all of what makes a good leader, not considering that there might be other theories out there to explore. This to me is a prime example of the dangers of the single narrative, especially considering there are SO MANY theories on leadership!! So much so, that it is nearly impossible to define what leadership actually is. This program has opened my mind to so many possibilities in terms of what kind of leader I am and want to be. I think we are all a work-in-progress, and I think we all lead in different ways and contexts throughout our daily lives.

You don't have to be the person with the loudest voice in the room to lead. You don't have to manage a team of people in a paid work setting to be considered a leader. You don't have to wear a business suit or even have a job. As it turns out, sometimes all it takes to lead is a little courage and some sweet dance moves; I think that's my very favourite kind. :)

Question: Could you tell me about a time that you led in either an unintended or unconventional way?

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First Follower: Leadership Lessons from Dancing Guy

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Every so often, my roommate and I will find ourselves in the midst of a heated argument. Brené Brown speaks of getting vulnerable and rumbling, and this, I have come to realize, is exactly what my roommate and I do once we have had a chance to cool down and process the situation. We are able to sit down and respectfully listen to each other, and we ask questions to gain a better understanding of where each other is coming from. No matter how tough the conversation is, our friendship always seems stronger in the end. Now if only we could just learn to rumble right from the get go and forego the initial argument... :)

Question: Do you rumble? Tell me about a time in your life where you rumbled with vulnerability. What was the outcome?

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My leadership artifact was a sandwich sized Ziplock bag filled with a few items that were given to me when my Grampa died. The items consisted of a photo of my Grampa, a pocket watch that he bought in the Yukon while travelling across Canada, and some random pieces of scrap paper that he had written poetry and quotes on.

I'm not sure if my Grampa would have considered himself a leader. He was a simple, ordinary man who loved his family and friends, and was always quick to help when help was needed. I think he was the best kind of leader because he led by example: he was kind, caring, and had a gentle humour about life; I never once saw him get mad. He was a storyteller, and he loved to travel and learn about the world and the people he met along the way. My Grampa was definitely a "power with" kind of guy.

Lyndze had asked me in class what I would ask my Grampa about leadership if I could ask him one question. I'm not really sure exactly what the question would be, but I can guarantee that my Grampa's answer to any leadership-type question would involve something to do with relationships, building community, and treating people with kindness, as he had always expressed how important these things were.

I think that being a good leader involves leaning in with humility, and always being open to learning from others. I learned this from my Grampa, and I think this is echoed in Every Person is a Philosopher. We all have something to share with the world, and we are always learning from each other even when we are not actively seeking an opportunity to learn. It's like we are all just a bunch of sponges who have been thrown into an ocean of knowledge; it's impossible not to soak up a thing or two.

I have realized that despite the common narrative that we have all been told, you don't have to be the assertive man in the business suit in order to be a great leader. In fact, sometimes the best leaders are the unassuming one's, perhaps dressed in a ball cap and suspenders, who quietly share their knowledge over a cup of tea. :)