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1.I checked the tense and grammar of the full text and corrected it. I searched a lot of information about the industrial revolution, and I searched and screened the views of different people on the Internet on the industrial revolution
2.I don't have a deep understanding of the industrial revolution, so I think my point of view may be a little unclear.
3. 61

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Total Mark: 65
Strong:
1.  Include the key point that teacher given.
2. There has a clear structure and paragraph and has 544 words.
3. Used paraphrasing and referencing.
Improvement:
1. Not sure if the grammar I used is correct.
2. Describe the point richer and detailed.
3. Use more references and find the new point to use.

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overall:60
Advantage
1My sentences are written under the reference resources, and I explain them
2.I used conjunction words when I explained the problem
Disadvantage
1.The sentence part is not very thoughtful
2.Arguments that are not explained are more convincing

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Strong: 1. Including all points that needed to be mentioned also I linked the industrial revolution to the writing.
2. Before writing the essay I wrote the points I gathered in my notes to organize the thoughts and the academic topics needed to be mentioned.

Need to improvement: 1. I didn't find good sources except for 2. However to understand Karl Marx' theory more I watched many videos to gather vital points of different view points.

Grade: 75

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1. The relevance of classical sociological theory to the Industrial revolution or the French Revolution is not clearly written.
2. References are difficult for me, I did not find 8 references
3.There may be grammatical errors

total：60

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Logical structure
1.I think I should divide the main paragraph more clearly
In-text referencing and bibliography based on the APA style
2.Need to explain more
3.score:60-65

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overall：60
1. The paragraphs are clearly divided
2. Every question has an answer

1. Some sentences feel nonsense, repeating some content, should be the content of the article for deep extension and expansion
2. There may be some grammatical errors
3.Pay attention to the diversity of language and use synonyms appropriately

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Areas for improvement：The coherence of the article should be enhanced, and more arguments should be added to make the various points of the article clearer.Some overviews are not detailed enough and lack some examples to support

The initial impact of the industrial revolution is written in detail.Have logical orgnization and  solid evidence.
61

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1.I checked the tense and grammar of the full text and corrected it. I searched a lot of information about the industrial revolution, and I searched and screened the views of different people on the Internet on the industrial revolution
2.I don't have a deep understanding of the industrial revolution, so I think my point of view may be a little unclear.
3. 61

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Total mark: 60

My essay refers to two theories developed by scholars of my choice and does its best to elaborate on the relationship between these two theories and the industrial revolution. The overall structure of the essay achieves a general divisional structure, containing an introduction, body, and conclusion, but in the body section my sub-sections are not clear and the PEE structure is not clear.
The number of citations I found was not up to standard and I had some difficulty in finding relevant literature and finding useful information

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1.My paper describes the reasons for the development of the French Revolution and the Industrial Revolution, as well as their influence on a global scale, and also discusses the connections and effects brought about by these two major revolutions
2.it is too difficult for me to find the sources
3.60

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Strengths: clear paragraph structure and basic use of academic text.
Weaknesses: inadequate analysis and argumentation, lack of linking words, and final concluding paragraph.
Self-assess:61

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total mark: 60
strong point: 1) hopefully no grammar mistakes
2) included the given key points
need to improve: 1) less than 8 academic references
2) need to write clearer paragraghs

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Disadvantages: 1. I write less of an academic sources
2. I think I should write more words
Advantages: 1. I have the format of introduction, body and conclusion
2. I explain in some paragraphs
total mark:60

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Advantages: 1. There is a clear introduction to the causes and effects of the industrial revolution
2. The structure of the article is correct
Improvements:
1. I can't find very accurate references, even it was difficult for me to find 8 references
2. More academic language can be used in the future
Score: 61

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1.My work mentioned the causes of the French revolution and I started going into detail of the perspective of the social hierarchy and their standard of living, moreover I tried my best to work on the structure of the essay starting from the introduction I tried to make it as detailed as possible and I believe the reader could imagine the situations happening in the French revolution by reading my essay.

2. I was stressed about finding the right resources and I struggled with the referencing and listing

3. 60