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Teaching Kids to be Smart About Social Media

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Teaching Kids to be Smart About Social Media

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Most teens use some form of social media and have a profile on a social networking site. Many visit these sites every day.

There are plenty of good things about social media - but also many risks and things kids and teens should avoid. They don't always make good choices when they post something to a site, and this can lead to problems.

So it's important to talk with your kids about how to use social media wisely.

What's Good About Social Media

Social media can help kids:

stay connected with friends and family

volunteer or get involved with a campaign, nonprofit, or charity

enhance their creativity by sharing ideas, music, and art

meet and interact with others who share similar interests

communicate with educators and fellow students

What's Bad About Social Media

The flipside is that social media can be a hub for things like cyberbullying and questionable activities. Without meaning to, kids can share more online than they should.

Most teens:

post photos of themselves online or use their real names on their profiles

reveal their birthdates and interests

post their school name and the town where they live

This can make them easy targets for online predators and others who might mean them harm.

In fact, many teens say they have:

been contacted online by someone they didn't know in a way that made them feel scared or uncomfortable

received online advertising that was inappropriate for their age

lied about their age to get access to websites

Concerns and Consequences

Besides problems like cyberbullying and online predators, kids also can face the possibility of a physical encounter with the wrong person. Many newer apps automatically reveal the poster's location when they're used. This can tell anyone exactly where to find the person using the app.

And photos, videos, and comments made online usually can't be taken back once they're posted. Even when a teen thinks something has been deleted, it can be impossible to completely erase it from the Internet.

Posting an inappropriate photo can damage a reputation and cause problems years later - such as when a potential employer or college admissions officer does a background check. And sending a mean-spirited text, even as a joke, can be very hurtful to someone else and even taken as a threat.

Spending too much time on social media can be a downer too. Seeing how many "friends" others have and the pictures of them having fun can make kids feel bad about themselves or like they don't measure up to their peers.

What Can Parents Do?

It's important to be aware of what your kids do online. But snooping can alienate them and damage the trust you've built together. The key is to stay involved in a way that makes your kids understand that you respect their privacy but want to make sure they're safe.

Tell your kids that it's important to:

Be nice. Mean behavior is not OK. Make it clear that you expect your kids to treat others with respect, and to never post hurtful or embarrassing messages. And ask them to always tell you about any harassing or bullying messages that others post.

Think twice before hitting "enter." Remind teens that what they post can be used against them. For example, letting the world know that you're off on vacation or posting your home address gives would-be robbers a chance to strike. Teens also should avoid posting specific locations of parties or events, as well as phone numbers.

Follow the "WWGS?" (What Would Grandma Say?) rule. Teach kids not to share anything on social media that they wouldn't want their teachers, college admissions officers, future bosses - and yes, grandma - to see.

Use privacy settings. Privacy settings are important. Go through them together to make sure your kids understand each one. Also, explain that passwords are there to protect them against things like identity theft. They should never share them with anyone, even a boyfriend, girlfriend, or best friend.

Don't "friend" strangers. "If you don't know them, don't friend them." This is a plain, simple - and safe - rule of thumb.

Make a Contract

Consider making a "social media agreement" with your kids - a real contract they can sign. In it, they agree to protect their own privacy, consider their reputation, and not give out personal information. They also promise not to use technology to hurt anyone else through bullying or gossip.

In turn, parents agree to respect teens' privacy while making an effort to be part of the social media world. This means you can "friend" and observe them, but don't post embarrassing comments or rants about messy rooms.

Parents also can help keep kids grounded in the real world by putting limits on media use. Keep computers in public areas in the house, avoid laptops and smartphones in bedrooms, and set some rules on the use of technology (such as no devices at the dinner table).

And don't forget: Setting a good example through your own virtual behavior can go a long way toward helping your kids use social media safely.

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Teaching Kids to Be Smart About Social Media

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Most teens use some form of social media and have a profile on a social networking site. Many visit these sites every day. There are plenty of good things about social media - but also many risks and things kids and teens should avoid.

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Study Suggest Benefits of Social Media in the Classroom

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Study Suggest Benefits of Social Media in the Classroom

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An educational theory gaining momentum in the literature may open the door to increased use of social media in schools.

Dr. Richard J. Light (Harvard School of Education) is a proponent of social constructivism, an aspect of social learning theory. This theory -supported by research identifying factors leading to college students' success-says that people learn most effectively when they interact with other learners. According to Light, the strongest determinant of students' success in college is their ability to form or participate in small study groups. He suggests that this is more important than their instructors' teaching styles. Student research participants who studied in groups, even only once a week, were more engaged in their studies, were better prepared for class, and learned significantly more than students who worked on their own.

These outcomes have led some to tout social media-and its opportunities for "virtual study groups"--as an excellent way to increase student learning. Many routinely use Twitter hashtags and Facebook pages to discuss specific topics. Social media sites such as EdMoto and Saywire may be safer options for students, since they are closed to individuals outside of class and allow teachers to closely monitor interactions. For a discussion of additional free, secure collaboration tools such as brainstorming and chat platforms, see Free Tech Tools for Tough Times.

Light's report added that social media, as a technology that is deemed "cool," can attract younger learners. Social media platforms enable many engaging classroom activities, including "communities of practice" where learners can interact and share ideas. "This group learning format appeals to younger, socially conscious learners and is built around the notion that 'many minds are better than one,' " the report stated.

For example, the paper The Instructional Power of Digital Games, Social Networking and Simulations and How Teachers Can Leverage Them describes how one high school literature class used the Ning platform to promote discussion and share resources related to a book they were reading.

Studies suggest that approximately 70 percent of all organizations engage in structured collaboration using online social learning tools such as blogs, wikis and podcasts. The rise parallels the increased use of online tools like social media sites in schools.

Experts remind us, however, that there are clear "do's and don'ts" for integrating social media in the classroom. According to the report Technology in Schools: What the Research Says, the choice to implement any classroom technology should be based on sound learning theory and should support a specific aspect of the curriculum. Teachers should have the backing and support of school leadership and have received prior training in use of technology tools to facilitate student learning. In addition, they should gather data to ensure that use of the technology is having the intended positive effects on students.

Finally, schools should update their Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) to include proper use of social media on the part of both educators and students.

Related resources

Managing the Benefits of School-Sanctioned Social Media Use
Bringing Acceptable-Use Policies Into the 21st Century

Article by Jason Tomaszewski, EducationWorld Associate Editor
Education World®
Copyright © 2012 Education World

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Study Suggests Benefits of Social Media in Class | Education World

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An educational theory gaining momentum in the literature may open the door to increased use of social media in schools. Dr. Richard J. Light (Harvard School of Education) is a proponent of social constructivism, an aspect of social learning theory.

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Today's digital-media natives, a.k.a. your students, need a school environment that both challenges and channels their tech-savvy brains.

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Many parents worry about how exposure to technology might affect toddlers developmentally. We know our preschoolers are picking up new social and cognitive skills at a stunning pace, and we don't want hours spent glued to an iPad to impede that. But adolescence is an equally important period of rapid development, and too few of us are paying attention to how our teenagers' use of technology - much more intense and intimate than a 3-year-old playing with dad's iPhone - is affecting them. In fact, experts worry that the social media and text messages that have become so integral to teenage life are promoting anxiety and lowering self-esteem.

Young people report that there might be good reason to worry. A survey conducted by the Royal Society for Public Health asked 14-24-year-olds in the UK how social media platforms impacted their health and well-being. The survey results found that Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all led to increased feelings of depression, anxiety, poor body image, and loneliness.

Indirect communication

Teens are masters at keeping themselves occupied in the hours after school until way past bedtime. When they're not doing their homework (and when they are) they're online and on their phones, texting, sharing, trolling, scrolling, you name it. Of course before everyone had an Instagram account teens kept themselves busy, too, but they were more likely to do their chatting on the phone, or in person when hanging out at the mall. It may have looked like a lot of aimless hanging around, but what they were doing was experimenting, trying out skills, and succeeding and failing in tons of tiny real-time interactions that kids today are missing out on. For one thing, modern teens are learning to do most of their communication while looking at a screen, not another person.

"As a species we are very highly attuned to reading social cues," says Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD, a clinical psychologist and author of The Big Disconnect. "There's no question kids are missing out on very critical social skills. In a way, texting and online communicating puts everybody in a context where body language, facial expression, and even the smallest kinds of vocal reactions are rendered invisible."

Lowering the risks

Certainly speaking indirectly creates a barrier to clear communication, but that's not all. Learning how to make friends is a major part of growing up, and friendship requires a certain amount of risk-taking. This is true for making a new friend, but it's also true for maintaining friendships. When there are problems that need to be faced - big ones or small ones - it takes courage to be honest about your feelings and then hear what the other person has to say. Learning to effectively cross these bridges is part of what makes friendship fun and exciting, and also scary. "Part of healthy self-esteem is knowing how to say what you think and feel even when you're in disagreement with other people or it feels emotionally risky," notes Dr. Steiner-Adair.

But when friendship is conducted online and through texts, kids are doing this in a context stripped of many of the most personal - and sometimes intimidating - aspects of communication. It's easier to keep your guard up when you're texting, so less is at stake. You aren't hearing or seeing the effect that your words are having on the other person. Because the conversation isn't happening in real time, each party can take more time to consider a response. No wonder kids say calling someone on the phone is "too intense"- it requires more direct communication, and if you aren't used to that it may well feel scary.

If kids aren't getting enough practice relating to people and getting their needs met in person and in real time, many of them will grow up to be adults who are anxious about our species' primary means of communication - talking. And of course social negotiations only get riskier as people get older and begin navigating romantic relationships and employment.

Cyberbullying and the imposter syndrome

The other big danger that comes from kids communicating more indirectly is that it has gotten easier to be cruel. "Kids text all sorts of things that you would never in a million years contemplate saying to anyone's face," says Donna Wick, EdD, a clinical and developmental psychologist. She notes that this seems to be especially true of girls, who typically don't like to disagree with each other in "real life."

"You hope to teach them that they can disagree without jeopardizing the relationship, but what social media is teaching them to do is disagree in ways that are more extreme and do jeopardize the relationship. It's exactly what you don't want to have happen," she says.

Dr. Steiner-Adair agrees that girls are particularly at risk. "Girls are socialized more to compare themselves to other people, girls in particular, to develop their identities, so it makes them more vulnerable to the downside of all this." She warns that a lack of solid self-esteem is often to blame. "We forget that relational aggression comes from insecurity and feeling awful about yourself, and wanting to put other people down so you feel better."

Peer acceptance is a big thing for adolescents, and many of them care about their image as much as a politician running for office, and to them it can feel as serious. Add to that the fact that kids today are getting actual polling data on how much people like them or their appearance via things like "likes." It's enough to turn anyone's head. Who wouldn't want to make themselves look cooler if they could? So kids can spend hours pruning their online identities, trying to project an idealized image. Teenage girls sort through hundreds of photos, agonizing over which ones to post online. Boys compete for attention by trying to out-gross one other, pushing the envelope as much as they can in the already disinhibited atmosphere online. Kids gang up on each other.

Adolescents have always been doing this, but with the advent of social media they are faced with more opportunities - and more traps - than ever before. When kids scroll through their feeds and see how great everyone seems, it only adds to the pressure. We're used to worrying about the impractical ideals that photoshopped magazine models give to our kids, but what happens with the kid next door is photoshopped, too? Even more confusing, what about when your own profile doesn't really represent the person that you feel like you are on the inside?

"Adolescence and the early twenties in particular are the years in which you are acutely aware of the contrasts between who you appear to be and who you think you are," says Dr. Wick. "It's similar to the 'imposter syndrome' in psychology. As you get older and acquire more mastery, you begin to realize that you actually are good at some things, and then you feel that gap hopefully narrow. But imagine having your deepest darkest fear be that you aren't as good as you look, and then imagine needing to look that good all the time! It's exhausting."

As Dr. Steiner-Adair explains, "Self-esteem comes from consolidating who you are." The more identities you have, and the more time you spend pretending to be someone you aren't, the harder it's going to be to feel good about yourself.

Stalking (and being ignored)

Another big change that has come with new technology and especially smart phones is that we are never really alone. Kids update their status, share what they're watching, listening to, and reading, and have apps that let their friends know their specific location on a map at all times. Even if a person isn't trying to keep his friends updated, he's still never out of reach of a text message. The result is that kids feel hyperconnected with each other. The conversation never needs to stop, and it feels like there's always something new happening.

"Whatever we think of the 'relationships' maintained and in some cases initiated on social media, kids never get a break from them," notes Dr. Wick. "And that, in and of itself, can produce anxiety. Everyone needs a respite from the demands of intimacy and connection; time alone to regroup, replenish and just chill out. When you don't have that, it's easy to become emotionally depleted, fertile ground for anxiety to breed."

It's also surprisingly easy to feel lonely in the middle of all that hyperconnection. For one thing, kids now know with depressing certainty when they're being ignored. We all have phones and we all respond to things pretty quickly, so when you're waiting for a response that doesn't come, the silence can be deafening. The silent treatment might be a strategic insult or just the unfortunate side effect of an online adolescent relationship that starts out intensely but then fades away.

"In the old days when a boy was going to break up with you, he had to have a conversation with you. Or at least he had to call," says Dr. Wick. "These days he might just disappear from your screen, and you never get to have the 'What did I do?' conversation." Kids are often left imagining the worst about themselves.

But even when the conversation doesn't end, being in a constant state of waiting can still provoke anxiety. We can feel ourselves being put on the back burner, we put others back there, and our very human need to communicate is effectively delegated there, too.

What should parents do?

Both experts interviewed for this article agreed that the best thing parents can do to minimize the risks associated with technology is to curtail their own consumption first. It's up to parents to set a good example of what healthy device usage looks like. Most of us check our phones or our email too much, out of either real interest or nervous habit. Kids should be used to seeing our faces, not our heads bent over a screen. Establish technology-free zones in the house and technology-free hours when no one uses the phone, including mom and dad. "Don't walk in the door after work in the middle of a conversation," Dr. Steiner-Adair advises. "Don't walk in the door after work, say 'hi' quickly, and then 'just check your email.' In the morning, get up a half hour earlier than your kids and check your email then. Give them your full attention until they're out the door. And neither of you should be using phones in the car to or from school because that's an important time to talk."

Not only does limiting the amount of time you spend plugged in to computers provide a healthy counterpoint to the tech-obsessed world, it also strengthens the parent-child bond and makes kids feel more secure. Kids need to know that you are available to help them with their problems, talk about their day, or give them a reality check.

"It is the mini-moments of disconnection, when parents are too focused on their own devices and screens, that dilute the parent-child relationship," Dr. Steiner-Adair warns. And when kids start turning to the internet for help or to process whatever happened during the day, you might not like what happens. "Tech can give your children more information that you can, and it doesn't have your values," notes Dr. Steiner-Adair. "It won't be sensitive to your child's personality, and it won't answer his question in a developmentally appropriate way."

In addition Dr. Wick advises delaying the age of first use as much as possible. "I use the same advice here that I use when talking about kids and alcohol - try to get as far as you can without anything at all." If your child is on a social media platform, Dr. Wick says that you should friend them and monitor their page. But she advises against going through text messages unless there is cause for concern. "If you have a reason to be worried then okay, but it better be a good reason. I see parents who are just plain old spying on their kids. Parents should begin by trusting their children. To not even give your kid the benefit of the doubt is incredibly damaging to the relationship. You have to feel like your parents think you're a good kid."

Offline, the gold standard advice for helping kids build healthy self-esteem is to get them involved in something that they're interested in. It could be sports or music or taking apart computers or volunteering - anything that sparks an interest and gives them confidence. When kids learn to feel good about what they can do instead of how they look and what they own, they're happier and better prepared for success in real life. That most of these activities also involve spending time interacting with peers face-to-face is just the icing on the cake.

Frequently Asked Questions

How does social media affect behavior negatively?

How does social media affect social skills?

How does social media affect teenagers' mental health?

Is social media harmful?

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How Using Social Media Affects Teenagers - Child Mind Institute

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How does social media affect teens? Experts say kids are growing up with more anxiety and less self-esteem due to social media. Read advice for parents from specialists in our article.

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Todays media influences on young children

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Mastering Media Literacy & Digital Literacy | Free Middle School Resources

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The internet is a major part of our lives, but it’s not all good news. These free resources help middle school students stay safe and informed online.

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Newsela | Facebook changing users' feeds to improve personal connections

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Facebook to have fewer posts from brands, pages and media companies and more from people

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Image

Credit Credit Getty Images

Earlier this week, Harvard University revealed that it had rescinded admissions offers to at least 10 students who shared offensive images within what they thought was a private Facebook group chat. The students posted memes and images that mocked minority groups, child abuse, sexual assault and the Holocaust, among other things.

It is easy for parents to be left wondering, "What were they thinking?"

Over the past few years, memes - usually images or videos with text often meant to be funny or sarcastic in nature - have become one of the most popular ways, along with photos and videos, that youth communicate on social media. While some of that communication can be positive, allowing teenagers to explore their own identity development and find a sense of belonging, it can also get teens in trouble.

Sharing videos, images and memes creates the opportunity for an instantaneous positive feedback loop that can perpetuate poor decision making. In an environment where teens spend around nine hours using some form of online media every day, it doesn't take long for them to be influenced by an "all-about-the-likes" sense of values that can potentially lead to life-altering decisions.

I've spent nearly two decades working with teens on organization and time-management in the heart of the Silicon Valley, and many teen girls tell me they have a real Instagram account ("rinsta") for a wider audience and then keep a "finsta" (friends-only or "fake" Instagram) for their closest friends.

Many teens use shortened versions of their names or aliases for finsta accounts, which they often see as an opportunity to share a less edited, less filtered version of their lives. They might spend a lot of time trying to capture the perfect Instagram photo for the "rinsta," which reaches a wider general audience, while a finsta might reveal, as one high school sophomore girl declared, "my innermost thoughts." Like the teens in the Harvard Facebook group chat, those using finsta accounts can have a false sense of confidence to say and do things they might not want a wider audience to see.

And because so much of today's teen social media use is rooted in a fear of getting caught, many teens have detoured their online activity to different ways of cloaked communication. Closed and secret Facebook groups are one way teens (and adults!) privatize communication to a select group - a closed group feels more private because it allows an administrator to approve new users and monitor content. Secret Facebook groups remain unsearchable, and members can only be added or invited by another member. Another trick is to use hidden apps like Calculator% and Calculator+ that look like regular calculators, but require users to enter their passcodes to reveal a back storage area containing private photos.

Also popular with secretive teens are storage apps like Vaulty, which allows users to hide photos and videos, and also has a "mug shot" feature, which takes a photo of anyone who tries to access the app using an incorrect password. Vaulty's most clever trick? Users can create two passwords for one vault, with each password tied to specific levels of access. So, a parent who insists that a teen hand over the password still might be getting limited access. Some teens just hide apps within folders on their phones. Parents wondering if their children are hiding something might look for a cleared search history and an unexplainable spike in data usage as potential red flags.

The ready availability of tools to hide teen social media use can be problematic, leading teens to overshare images, videos and commentary. But that privacy has long been proven to be unreliable, because information shared within a private group can be easily captured in a screenshot and shared with a wider audience. The notion of privacy online is only as reliable as teens' relationships with other users, and that combined with general privacy concerns provides little guarantee that online information will ever be kept secret. In the case of the Harvard students, administrators found out about images and messages shared within a private group chat, highlighting how easily information shared behind digital walls can quickly become more public.

What would motivate such seemingly intelligent teens to behave so recklessly online? Many people - adults and kids alike - view likes, loves, comments and followers as a barometer for popularity, even within a smaller, closed group. Teens can quickly get caught up in the feedback loop, posting and sharing images and videos that they believe will gain the largest reaction. Over time, teens' own values may become convoluted within an online world of instantaneous feedback, and their behavior online can become based on their "all about the likes" values rather than their real-life values.

There is a very real biological basis for this behavior. The combination of social media pressure and an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, the region of the brain that helps us rationalize decisions, control impulsivity and make judgments, can contribute to offensive online posts.

In a recent study, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles, found that the areas of teens' brains focused on reward processing and social cognition are similarly activated when they think about money and sex - and when they view a photo receiving lots of likes on social media. When teens viewed photos deemed risky, researchers found the brain regions focused on cognitive control were not activated as much, suggesting that it could be harder for them to make good decisions when viewing images or videos that are graphic in nature. Teens seeking external validation become intoxicated by sensationalist engagement, sometimes sending compromising photos or comments. Of course, some adults have fallen into the same trap.

Even though 86 percent of teens say they've received general advice around online use from their parents, researchers at Common Sense Media found that 30 percent of teens who are online believe their parents know "a little" or "nothing" about what social media apps and sites they use. And yet, teens still say that their parents have the biggest influence on determining what is appropriate and inappropriate online.

Adults need to shift the conversation around teens' social media use away from a fear of getting caught and more toward healthy socialization, effective self-regulation and overall safety. This would be all the more important if a bill that was just overwhelmingly passed in the House becomes law. The bill could make it a felony - punishable by 15 years in jail - if teens send consensual nude photos of themselves.

Some parents try to monitor their teen's social media use with apps of their own. Bark, an app that monitors accounts on 20 different social media platforms, along with iOS and Android texting and email accounts, alerts parents to potentially risky behavior. TeenSafe links teens' phones directly to their parents' phones, and allows full-fledged supervision of phone calls, emails, texts, social media use and geolocation. But such high-level monitoring runs the risk of breaching trust with teens at a crucial developmental time.

Another option is to help young social media users realize that their online and real-life experiences are more intertwined than they may think. Parents might, for example, cite current events, like the Harvard episode, to remind them that nothing online is ever completely private and talk to them about the ways private information can become public. Using open-ended questions will help encourage children to identify and develop their own values and standards around appropriate online behavior. Helping them think through how they might react or behave in certain scenarios can give them the confidence to make better decisions under pressure. Because in the end, teens' online life choices can have real-world outcomes - as those students whose admittance at Harvard was rescinded learned the hard way.

A version of this article appears in print on , on Page B8 of the New York edition with the headline: 'Closed.' 'Fake.' 'Private': The Secret Social Media Lives of Teenagers. Order Reprints | Today's Paper | Subscribe

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The Secret Social Media Lives of Teenagers

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Earlier this week, Harvard University revealed that it had rescinded admissions offers to at least 10 students who shared offensive images within what they thought was a private Facebook group chat. The students posted memes and images that mocked minority groups, child abuse, sexual assault and the Holocaust, among other things.

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Teens App use:  How they Really Use Apps

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Teens App use:  How they Really Use Apps

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Although Snapchat and Instagram are competing bitterly for ad dollars, teens have room for both of them on their phones. That's because they serve very different functions.

CNBC talked to 24 teens and young adults between the ages of 12 and 20 about their social media and app habits. The survey was mostly conducted through the teen-preferred communication medium of text messaging, although a couple did respond via email (after being prompted by their parents).

Here's what we found:

Snapchat vs. Instagram

The majority of teens ranked Snapchat and Instagram among their top three favorite apps. However, they serve two very different purposes in their lives.

Snapchat is more for communication with peers, like sharing something funny or sending a quick update note.

"With Snapchat, I like how instant it is," said 15-year-old Caelin. "I really like instant gratification so the fact that you can have such a quick conversation with someone is great."

Snapchat can also beget more honesty. "Snapchat is a good and convenient way to talk to friends (sharing pictures) but you can say things you would regret later because they disappear (I don't do that though)," said Catie, 13.

On the other hand, Facebook-owned Instagram is more for sharing details about your personal life with friends and family, and is useful because everybody is on it -- not just other teens.

"I like Instagram because so many people I know are on it, like family and friends," said Kailey, 14. "It's a really good way to share pictures and moments as well as discover new things in art or technology and even news like politics."

18-year-old Harrison told us, "I feel that Instagram is still the most-used social media platform for people my age, and pretty much all of my friends use it on a daily basis. It's a great way for you to artistically share what you do day by day and and it allows you to keep up with what everyone is doing."

They use a "formal" messaging app for grown-ups

Teens had a wide variety of answers for their third-favorite app. Twitter and YouTube are both popular, as are music apps, particularly Spotify.

However, a full one-third of them mentioned some kind of messaging app, including Kik, their phone's built in messaging system (Android Messenger, Apple's iMessage, etc.), Facebook Messenger, ooVoo and Group Me.

Several told us that Snapchat was reserved for their peers, while they use other messaging apps only to communicate with adults.

"[ Apple] iMessages are more formal and used a lot communicate with, in my case, adults such as my coaches, reminders from my teachers and my parents. For the most part my parents only know how to use that app as opposed to Snapchat. I appreciate it because it keeps my social life separate from my formal life," said Eliza, 16.

"I use Snapchat to talk to my friends mostly, no one really texts anymore unless it's to play the iPhone game Pigeon Games" said Sophia, 13. (She was referring to GamePigeon.)

Messenger is the new Facebook

While many of the older teens had Facebook accounts, it was seen as a way to communicate with family more than friends. One teen spoke about getting annoyed with the sharing of content he didn't agree with on the platform.

"I try to use apps that remove stress and connect me with people," said Mack, 19. "That's why I'm trending away from Facebook, as I find I see a lot of stuff on there that annoys me, hurting my relationships with people and adding stress."

But that doesn't mean they're leaving Facebook completely. In addition to Facebook-owned Instagram, many teens said they use Facebook Messenger, which they see as less invasive than giving someone your phone number, but which offers more real-time feedback.

"What I really like is on Messenger being able to see when the person was last active so I can gauge how soon I can expect the other person to respond," said Melanie, 18.

Some also liked Messenger as a faster way to talk to people with different brands of phones and because it's easy to add fun effects like digital stickers within messages.

"I don't have an iPhone and my regular text messaging is kind of slow, plus Messenger has a bunch of features like stickers, emojis, and Facebook games where you can challenge your friends in-message," said Helena, 18.

Privacy concerns start early

Most of the survey takers were highly concerned about their privacy online, with the ability for anyone to see what's on their account being a major concern. They actively sought out "customizable" apps that would allow them to control who saw what they were posting. Some had multiple accounts, including a public facing profile and another for closer friends.

"Since there are so many predators out there it's very important to make sure you have control over who is going to be seeing and reading what you post, especially with the capabilities to screenshot images," said Sophia, 13.

Others were concerned about where their personal information was going or the security of their account.

"Some apps ask for certain permissions that are questionable," said Franklin, 18.

Being an "early adopter" isn't as important

More than half of millennials (ages 20 to 36, according to Pew) are considered to be above average when it comes to new technology, according to an Experian study. But, it seems being an "early adopter" isn't as important to Gen Z (under 20).

Most of the survey takers said they preferred apps that their friends were already on rather than being the first to discover something.

"I don't like being the first one to have the app, because then it's defeats the whole purpose if you don't have someone to share it with," said Eliza, 16.

"I usually end up in the middle of the pack in terms of when I download an app, because it's only fun if you have friends that already have it," said Moira, 17.

WATCH: Why Snap's unusual headquarters could make the stock risky for investors

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Teens explain how they really use Snapchat and Instagram, and why Facebook still matters

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Although Snapchat and Instagram are competing bitterly for ad dollars, teens have room for both of them on their phones. That's because they serve very different functions. CNBC talked to 24 teens and young adults between the ages of 12 and 20 about their social media and app habits.

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Social media...middle school

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Credit Credit Getty Images

Earlier this week, Harvard University revealed that it had rescinded admissions offers to at least 10 students who shared offensive images within what they thought was a private Facebook group chat. The students posted memes and images that mocked minority groups, child abuse, sexual assault and the Holocaust, among other things.

It is easy for parents to be left wondering, "What were they thinking?"

Over the past few years, memes - usually images or videos with text often meant to be funny or sarcastic in nature - have become one of the most popular ways, along with photos and videos, that youth communicate on social media. While some of that communication can be positive, allowing teenagers to explore their own identity development and find a sense of belonging, it can also get teens in trouble.

Sharing videos, images and memes creates the opportunity for an instantaneous positive feedback loop that can perpetuate poor decision making. In an environment where teens spend around nine hours using some form of online media every day, it doesn't take long for them to be influenced by an "all-about-the-likes" sense of values that can potentially lead to life-altering decisions.

I've spent nearly two decades working with teens on organization and time-management in the heart of the Silicon Valley, and many teen girls tell me they have a real Instagram account ("rinsta") for a wider audience and then keep a "finsta" (friends-only or "fake" Instagram) for their closest friends.

Many teens use shortened versions of their names or aliases for finsta accounts, which they often see as an opportunity to share a less edited, less filtered version of their lives. They might spend a lot of time trying to capture the perfect Instagram photo for the "rinsta," which reaches a wider general audience, while a finsta might reveal, as one high school sophomore girl declared, "my innermost thoughts." Like the teens in the Harvard Facebook group chat, those using finsta accounts can have a false sense of confidence to say and do things they might not want a wider audience to see.

And because so much of today's teen social media use is rooted in a fear of getting caught, many teens have detoured their online activity to different ways of cloaked communication. Closed and secret Facebook groups are one way teens (and adults!) privatize communication to a select group - a closed group feels more private because it allows an administrator to approve new users and monitor content. Secret Facebook groups remain unsearchable, and members can only be added or invited by another member. Another trick is to use hidden apps like Calculator% and Calculator+ that look like regular calculators, but require users to enter their passcodes to reveal a back storage area containing private photos.

Also popular with secretive teens are storage apps like Vaulty, which allows users to hide photos and videos, and also has a "mug shot" feature, which takes a photo of anyone who tries to access the app using an incorrect password. Vaulty's most clever trick? Users can create two passwords for one vault, with each password tied to specific levels of access. So, a parent who insists that a teen hand over the password still might be getting limited access. Some teens just hide apps within folders on their phones. Parents wondering if their children are hiding something might look for a cleared search history and an unexplainable spike in data usage as potential red flags.

The ready availability of tools to hide teen social media use can be problematic, leading teens to overshare images, videos and commentary. But that privacy has long been proven to be unreliable, because information shared within a private group can be easily captured in a screenshot and shared with a wider audience. The notion of privacy online is only as reliable as teens' relationships with other users, and that combined with general privacy concerns provides little guarantee that online information will ever be kept secret. In the case of the Harvard students, administrators found out about images and messages shared within a private group chat, highlighting how easily information shared behind digital walls can quickly become more public.

What would motivate such seemingly intelligent teens to behave so recklessly online? Many people - adults and kids alike - view likes, loves, comments and followers as a barometer for popularity, even within a smaller, closed group. Teens can quickly get caught up in the feedback loop, posting and sharing images and videos that they believe will gain the largest reaction. Over time, teens' own values may become convoluted within an online world of instantaneous feedback, and their behavior online can become based on their "all about the likes" values rather than their real-life values.

There is a very real biological basis for this behavior. The combination of social media pressure and an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, the region of the brain that helps us rationalize decisions, control impulsivity and make judgments, can contribute to offensive online posts.

In a recent study, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles, found that the areas of teens' brains focused on reward processing and social cognition are similarly activated when they think about money and sex - and when they view a photo receiving lots of likes on social media. When teens viewed photos deemed risky, researchers found the brain regions focused on cognitive control were not activated as much, suggesting that it could be harder for them to make good decisions when viewing images or videos that are graphic in nature. Teens seeking external validation become intoxicated by sensationalist engagement, sometimes sending compromising photos or comments. Of course, some adults have fallen into the same trap.

Even though 86 percent of teens say they've received general advice around online use from their parents, researchers at Common Sense Media found that 30 percent of teens who are online believe their parents know "a little" or "nothing" about what social media apps and sites they use. And yet, teens still say that their parents have the biggest influence on determining what is appropriate and inappropriate online.

Adults need to shift the conversation around teens' social media use away from a fear of getting caught and more toward healthy socialization, effective self-regulation and overall safety. This would be all the more important if a bill that was just overwhelmingly passed in the House becomes law. The bill could make it a felony - punishable by 15 years in jail - if teens send consensual nude photos of themselves.

Some parents try to monitor their teen's social media use with apps of their own. Bark, an app that monitors accounts on 20 different social media platforms, along with iOS and Android texting and email accounts, alerts parents to potentially risky behavior. TeenSafe links teens' phones directly to their parents' phones, and allows full-fledged supervision of phone calls, emails, texts, social media use and geolocation. But such high-level monitoring runs the risk of breaching trust with teens at a crucial developmental time.

Another option is to help young social media users realize that their online and real-life experiences are more intertwined than they may think. Parents might, for example, cite current events, like the Harvard episode, to remind them that nothing online is ever completely private and talk to them about the ways private information can become public. Using open-ended questions will help encourage children to identify and develop their own values and standards around appropriate online behavior. Helping them think through how they might react or behave in certain scenarios can give them the confidence to make better decisions under pressure. Because in the end, teens' online life choices can have real-world outcomes - as those students whose admittance at Harvard was rescinded learned the hard way.

A version of this article appears in print on , on Page B8 of the New York edition with the headline: 'Closed.' 'Fake.' 'Private': The Secret Social Media Lives of Teenagers. Order Reprints | Today's Paper | Subscribe

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The Secret Social Media Lives of Teenagers

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Earlier this week, Harvard University revealed that it had rescinded admissions offers to at least 10 students who shared offensive images within what they thought was a private Facebook group chat. The students posted memes and images that mocked minority groups, child abuse, sexual assault and the Holocaust, among other things.

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The Secret Social Media Lives of Teenagers

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The Secret Social Media Lives of Teenagers

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https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/07/well/family/the-secret-social-media-lives-of-teenagers.html

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Negative and positive effects of social media on teens

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Negative and positive effects of social media on teens

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Newsela | Negative, positive effects of excessive social media use on teens studied

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Studies mixed on social media's effect on young people

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Kid Cellphone Addiction from Time Magazing

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Kid Cellphone Addiction from Time Magazing

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Nina Langton had no right to be depressed. At least, that's how she saw it.

She had a great group of friends, lived in a prosperous neighborhood, and was close with her parents. Like most 16-year-olds at her Connecticut high school, Nina spent much of her free time on her smartphone. But unlike many of her classmates, she was never "targeted" on social media-her word for the bullying and criticism that took place daily on sites like Snapchat. "Part of what made my depression so difficult was that I didn't understand why I was feeling so sad," she says.

Later, after her attempted suicide and during her stay at a rehabilitation facility, Nina and her therapist identified body image insecurity as the foundation of her woe. "I was spending a lot of time stalking models on Instagram, and I worried a lot about how I looked," says Nina, who is now 17. She'd stay up late in her bedroom, looking at social media on her phone, and poor sleep-coupled with an eating disorder-gradually snowballed until suicide felt like her only option. "I didn't totally want to be gone," she says. "I just wanted help and didn't know how else to get it."

Nina's mom, Christine Langton, has a degree in public health and works at a children's hospital. Despite her professional background, she says she was "completely caught off guard" by her daughter's suicide attempt. "Nina was funny, athletic, smart, personable . . . depression was just not on my radar," she says.

Nina Langton, 17, at her dormitory in Mass., Oct. 2017. Rania Matar-Institute for TIME

In hindsight, Langton says she wishes she had done more to moderate her daughter's smartphone use. "It didn't occur to me not to let her have the phone in her room at night," she says. "I just wasn't thinking about the impact of the phone on her self-esteem or self-image until after everything happened."

It seems like every generation of parents has a collective freak-out when it comes to kids and new technologies; television and video games each inspired widespread hand-wringing among grown-ups. But the inescapability of today's mobile devices-coupled with the personal allure of social media-seems to separate smartphones from older screen-based media. Parents, teens and researchers agree smartphones are having a profound impact on the way adolescents today communicate with one another and spend their free time. And while some experts say it's too soon to ring alarm bells about smartphones, others argue we understand enough about young people's emotional and developmental vulnerabilities to recommend restricting kids' escalating phone habit.

The latest statistics on teen mental health underscore the urgency of this debate.

Between 2010 and 2016, the number of adolescents who experienced at least one major depressive episode leapt by 60%, according to a nationwide survey conducted by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The 2016 survey of 17,000 kids found that about 13% of them had a major depressive episode, compared to 8% of the kids surveyed in 2010. Suicide deaths among people age 10 to 19 have also risen sharply, according to the latest data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Young women are suffering most; a CDC report released earlier this year showed suicide among teen girls has reached 40-year highs. All this followed a period during the late-1990s and early 2000s when rates of adolescent depression and suicide mostly held steady or declined.

"These increases are huge-possibly unprecedented," says Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University and author of , which examines how today's super-connected teens may be less happy and less prepared for adulthood than past generations. In a peer-reviewed study that will appear later this year in the journal Clinical Psychological Science, Twenge shows that, after 2010, teens who spent more time on new media were more likely to report mental health issues than those who spent time on non-screen activities.

Using data collected between 2010 and 2015 from more than 500,000 adolescents nationwide, Twenge's study found kids who spent three hours or more a day on smartphones or other electronic devices were 34% more likely to suffer at least one suicide-related outcome-including feeling hopeless or seriously considering suicide-than kids who used devices two hours a day or less. Among kids who used electronic devices five or more hours a day, 48% had at least one suicide-related outcome.

Twenge also found that kids who used social media daily were 13% more likely to report high levels of depressive symptoms than those who used social less frequently. Overall, kids in the study who spent low amounts of time engaged in in-person social interaction, but high amounts of time on social media, were the most likely to be depressed.

Twenge is quick to acknowledge that her research does not prove a cause-and-effect relationship exists between smartphones and depression. "It's possible that depressed kids are just more likely to spend time on their devices," she says. "But that doesn't answer the question of what caused this sudden upswing in teen depression and suicide."

Some experts have pointed to the aftermath of the Great Recession, or rising student workloads, as possible non-device explanations for young people's recent struggles. "But when you look at the economic or homework data, it doesn't line up with the rise in teen suicide or depression," Twenge says. Youth smartphone ownership does. "I'm open to exploring other factors, but I think the more we learn about kids and smartphones, the more we're going to see that limiting their exposure is a good idea."

Others agree it's time to approach adolescent device use with greater caution. "What this generation is going through right now with technology is a giant experiment, and we don't know what's going to happen," says Frances Jensen, chair of neurology at the University of Pennsylvania's Perelman School of Medicine. While the science on kids and technology is incomplete, Jensen says what we already know about the minds of tweens and teens suggests giving a young person all-the-time access to an Internet-connected device "may be playing with fire."
The teenage brain
To understand how device use may be affecting a young person's mental health, it's important to recognize the complex changes occurring in an adolescent's still-developing brain.

For one thing, that brain is incredibly plastic and able to adapt-that is, physically change-in response to novel activities or environmental cues, says UPenn's Jensen, who is the author of The Teenage Brain.

Some research has already linked media multitasking-texting, using social media and rapidly switching among smartphone-based apps-with lower gray-matter volume in the brain's anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), a region involved in emotion processing and decision making. More research has associated lower ACC volumes with depression and addiction disorders.

"We know for a fact teens have very underdeveloped impulse control and empathy and judgment compared to adults," Jensen says. This may lead them to disturbing online content or encounters-stuff a more mature mind would know to avoid. Teens also have a hyperactive risk-reward system that allows them to learn-but also to become addicted-much more quickly than grown-ups, she says. Research has linked social media and other phone-based activities with an uptick in feel-good neurochemicals like dopamine, which could drive compulsive device use and promote feelings of distraction, fatigue, or irritability when kids are separated from their phones.

Even if smartphones aren't the root cause of a teen's anxiety or other issues, Jensen adds, they may turn out to be an accelerant-the gasoline that turns a flicker of adolescent angst into a blaze.

Another area of the brain-the prefrontal cortex-is critical for focus and interpreting human emotion, and doesn't fully develop until a person's mid-20s, says Paul Atchley, a professor of psychology at the University of Kansas. "During our teenage years, it's important to train that prefrontal cortex not to be easily distracted," he says. "What we're seeing in our work is that young people are constantly distracted, and also less sensitive to the emotions of others."

While the research on smartphones is preliminary, Atchley says he believes studies will eventually show a clearer connection between the negative trends in teen mental health and rising smartphone use. But some scientists contend there isn't enough cause-and-effect evidence to condemn smartphones.

"I see the rise in depression, especially among girls, and I understand why people are making these connections with new technologies," says Candice Odgers, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University who has published research on teens and tech. "But so far, we have very little data to suggest mobile technologies are causing anxiety or social impairments." She points to evidence that some young people, particularly marginalized groups like LGBT youth, can derive benefits from online communication through supportive exchanges with friends and family.

Odgers adds that jumping to conclusions and vilifying smartphones may lead us away from factors that may turn out to be more significant-a worry raised by other experts. "This is such a serious and polarizing issue that I think we need to set aside our assumptions until we have stronger data," she says. At the same time, she doesn't condone unrestricted smartphone access at any age. "I'm certainly not advocating giving an 8-year-old a smartphone," she says. "But if you ask me what age is appropriate, or how much use is safe, I don't think the existing evidence provides those answers."

As researchers debate appropriate public health messaging, kids are receiving their first smartphone at ever-younger ages-the average is 10, according to one recent estimate-and they're spending more and more time on their devices.

"I am probably on my phone 10 hours a day," says Santi Potočnik Senarighi, a 16-year-old eleventh grader in Denver. Even when he's not actively using his phone, Santi says it's always with him, and he never considers taking a break. "This is part of my life and part of my work, and [that] means I need to be in constant contact."

Santi's dad, Billy Potočnik, says he worries about his son's phone habit, as Santi is struggling in school. But every one of Santi's friends has a smartphone and uses it constantly, and so Potočnik says confiscating his son's phone feels oppressive. "If I try to take it away from him, he tells me he's not doing anything bad on it," which Potočnik says is usually true, "and it turns into a struggle."

He and other parents say enduring that struggle day after day feels overwhelming. And to complicate matters, many schools and after-school groups now use social media or online platforms to coordinate events, or to post grades and homework. "It's not as simple as saying, okay, time to take a break from your phone," Potočnik says.
How teens 'talk'
Colleen Nisbet has been a high school guidance counselor for more than two decades. One of her duties at Connecticut's Granby Memorial High School is to monitor students during their lunch periods. "Lunch was always a very social time when students were interacting and letting out some energy," she says. "Now they sit with their phones out and barely talk to each other."

This scene-of kids collecting in parks or at one another's houses only to sit silently and stare at screens-comes up over and over again when talking with parents and kids. "When you're with people you don't know well or there's nothing to talk about, phones are out more because it's awkward," says Shannon Ohannessian, a 17-year-old senior at Farmington High School in Connecticut.

That avoidance of face-to-face interaction worries Brian Primack, director of the University of Pittsburgh's Center for Research on Media, Technology, and Health. "Human beings are social animals," he says. "We evolved over millions of years to respond to eye contact and touch and shared laughter and real things right in front of us." There's strong research linking isolation to depression, and time spent socializing with improved mood and well-being. If smartphones are getting between an adolescent and her ability to engage in and enjoy face-to-face interaction-and some studies suggest that's happening-that's a big deal, Primack says.

But while they're not always speaking out loud, kids today are talking to each other-and about each other. They're just doing it on their phones. Not all that talk is friendly. "They tell me they're making comments or criticizing each other to friends while they're all sitting together," says Nisbet, the guidance counselor. Something about the phone just seems to "take the filter off," she adds.

Backbiting and mean-girl gossip are nothing new, of course. But research suggests that, even among adults, the Internet has a disinhibition effect that leads people to speak in coarser, crueler ways then they would offline.

Maryellen Pachler, a Yale-trained nurse practitioner who specializes in the treatment of adolescent anxiety disorders, says her job used to involve convincing her patients that their fears were largely irrational. "Now I don't think they're irrational at all," she says. "If you raise your hand in class or say something silly, I think it's likely your classmates will be texting or posting something about it."

She says the glamor and gleam of social media is also fueling a rise in teen anxiety. "My patients see their friends' Snapchat or Instagram photos where they look so happy, and they feel like they're the only ones who are faking it," she says, referencing what researchers call the highlight reel effect of social media. "I want to tell them, listen, this girl you're jealous of-she was in here with me yesterday!"

Teens agree social-media whitewashing is the rule, not the exception. "No one's going to post something that makes them look bad," Ohannessian says. "I know that, but it's still hard to separate what you see on social media from real life."
What's next for teens and phones
There are doubtless many factors contributing to teen depression. Parents say kids today are busier than ever before-their lives increasingly crammed with the extracurriculars required to gain admission to a good college. But even those researchers who aren't ready to slam smartphones say it's important to restrict an adolescent's device habit, and that too much social media or media multitasking is likely harmful.

"I don't think these devices are the main cause, but I think they contribute to a lot of the things we worry about," says David Hill, director of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Council on Communications and Media. "I speak to parents who are very concerned, and my take is to be much more rigid about setting limits-especially when it comes to phones in the bedroom at night."

But the AAP's current guidelines do not offer specifics when it comes to appropriate smartphone limits for children older than 6, and public health officials generally say parents should decide what is right for their kids, without offering specifics.

Educators are also grappling with smartphone-related dilemmas. Most schools allow smartphone use between classes and during free periods, but teachers say keeping students off their phones during class has become a tremendous burden.

Gina Spiers, an English teacher at San Lorenzo High School near Oakland, Calif., says she used to confiscate phones, but students would panic and cause a disruption in class. She and her school are fighting back-with encouraging results.

Starting this fall, San Lorenzo High joined several schools nationwide in working with a company called Yondr to restrict smartphone access during school hours. Yondr makes small, lockable phone pouches that students keep with them, but that can't be opened until the end of the day.

"The changes have already been profound," says Allison Silvestri, San Lorenzo's principal. Kids are more focused and engaged during class, and student journals suggest the high schoolers are feeling less anxious and more relaxed. Silvestri says fewer fights have broken out this semester-a benefit she attributes to the absence of social media. "They have to look each other in the eye to make conflict happen," she says. "There's so much more joy and interaction, and I can't count the number of parents who have asked me, 'How do I buy this for my home?'"

The smartphone experiment at San Lorenzo doesn't meet the standards of the scientific method. But it's one more piece of evidence linking mobile devices with the troubles today's teen are facing. While there are no doubt helpful and healthy ways young people could use smartphones to enrich their lives, it's becoming harder to argue that the status quo-near-ubiquitous teen smartphone ownership, coupled with more-or-less unfettered Internet access-is doing kids good.

A few months after her suicide attempt, Nina Langton addressed her high school classmates and spoke openly about her depression. She described the stigma of mental illness, and lamented the fact that, while many teens experience depression, very few are willing to talk about it or ask for help. "I was worried for so long about opening up about my struggles because I thought I would be judged," she said.

After she gave the speech, "so many people my age reached out to me about their own experiences with technology and depression and therapy," she says. "I think this is a big problem that needs to be talked about more."

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Just How Dangerous Are Smartphones for Kids? Here's Why Health Experts Are Worried

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Teen depression and suicide rates are climbing, as more kids than ever use cellphones. Here's what new research says about what's happening

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Social Media Both Bummer and Boon for Brain

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Social Media Both Bummer and Boon for Brain

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https://newsela.com/read/social-media-teens-mental-health-benefits/id/36844

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https://newsela.com/read/lib-procon-social-networking/id/23705