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My parents sat each of their children down on their 8th birthday, and had the sex talk with us.  It was very uncomfortable having both parents there.  Kids started talking about sex in the 4th and 5th grades soon after that first discussion, so I was glad I had that preparation. Over the years, my parents tried to be open about answering any questions we had, but it was still awkward sometimes.    I think I was more comfortable reading gospel talks on the subject and through reading books by LDS authors that talk about the sacred nature of marital intimacy.

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What I learned about sex and sexuality was from the internet until I was about 20 then I started reading marriage books from Deseret Book to help me rewire my brain to a Godly view and understanding. I had a major addiction to masturbation because I had no idea what was appropriate and what wasn't because my parents never taught me anything. Even after I started the repentance process they didn't say anything so I turned to books written by members of the Church to get the information I needed. I'm glad I read those books and changed my views through learning about the gospel and the Lord's plan for us here on earth

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It looks like I may be the outlier in this discussion. When I was seven years old, I was molested by a family member. They said we were playing a game, and I couldn't tell anyone. It only happened once, but I remember how deeply it affected me, for years. Very few people know about it. My parents are still not included amongst those that know. By the time I was eleven, I was fully immersed in pornography. All I knew was that I felt better after I engaged in the behavior. All of my worries and stress went away for a while. It wasn't until I was sixteen and baptized that I broke free from pornography, and forgave the family member, and myself. My early education to sex was pornography. For many years, that's what I figured sex was: It was racy, and fun, and there were no repercussions. If it hadn't been for the gospel, I don't want to think about where I would be right now. I wouldn't be sealed in the temple to a wonderful man. I wouldn't have my beautiful son. And I would still have a dark, distorted view of what sex is.

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My idea of what sex is was shaped by what I was taught in young womens and at church. If i had only known about what friends were saying, I would think its ok to have sex when one fell in love. 

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My idea of what sex is was shaped by what I was taught in young womens and at church. If i had only known about what friends were saying, I would think its ok to have sex when one fell in love. 

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 Peers: If
my only information about sex came from my peers I think I would have an ok
understanding of the mechanics of sex but I would seriously lack the
understanding of what sex is truly meant to be and what it symbolizes in a
relationship.  Most of my knowledge did
come from peers and siblings as I was growing up because my parents didn’t talk
about it much.  Media: If
the only source I had about sex was from media – music, videos, tv commercials,
etc.  I would have a very distorted view
of sex.  It would be completely about the
physical aspect of it.  It would be
shallow and something that is funny, crude, trivial, or meaningless.  I would view women’s and men’s bodies as objects
of lust and something to be used for my own pleasure and satisfaction and
nothing more. 

 
Parents:  If
the only source was from my parents then I would have almost no knowledge of
sex at all.  My parents didn’t ever have
the official “sex” talk with me and they rarely spoke of it. If it was brought
up then it was quickly dismissed.  Even
the word “sex” made my parents uncomfortable. 


 

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 Peers: If
my only information about sex came from my peers I think I would have an ok
understanding of the mechanics of sex but I would seriously lack the
understanding of what sex is truly meant to be and what it symbolizes in a
relationship.  Most of my knowledge did
come from peers and siblings as I was growing up because my parents didn’t talk
about it much.  Media: If
the only source I had about sex was from media – music, videos, tv commercials,
etc.  I would have a very distorted view
of sex.  It would be completely about the
physical aspect of it.  It would be
shallow and something that is funny, crude, trivial, or meaningless.  I would view women’s and men’s bodies as objects
of lust and something to be used for my own pleasure and satisfaction and
nothing more. 

 
Parents:  If
the only source was from my parents then I would have almost no knowledge of
sex at all.  My parents didn’t ever have
the official “sex” talk with me and they rarely spoke of it. If it was brought
up then it was quickly dismissed.  Even
the word “sex” made my parents uncomfortable. 


 

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I lived in Las Vegas from the time I was 8 until I graduated and left for school. Needless to say, my surroundings were very educational - and not in a positive way. Pornography was all over, and you learned not to look. However, racy images were on billboards, taxis, grocery stores, and even in the phone book. This brought up many questions, and my stepdad wasn't shy about answering, but was a bit brash. My mother gave me the book "Are you there God? It's Me Margaret" when I started my period, and asked me if I had any questions about sex the day AFTER my wedding night. So - it was an interesting scenario. The adversary is very loud and in our faces in trying to put out an image of what sex is. My church experience was that "sex is bad" unless you are married. That, combined with my surroundings and my parents' disjointed attempts at education made for some growing pains.

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My parents weren't very open with sexuality. My mom gave me the very basics when I was around 11, but then it was taboo to talk about it after that. My friends, however, talked about it at school. Luckily, I had good friends who respected sexuality, and so they didn't get into detail about it. I actually learned a lot about sex when I have been studying the gospel. When I was on my mission I learned more of the doctrine of marriage and the importance of sex and intimacy. It was then that I realized what physical intimacy really was. My mom is more open about sexual topics now that I'm older.

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My mother bought me a book about sex to read and that is how I learned. Later when I joined I learned about the law of chastity. My friends did not talk about sex. Content on TV was not as sexual as it is now but the same message was sent that sex was about passion in the moment and that women should look sexy.

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i grew up in an idealistic Mormon home. My parents lived the gospel through and through and taught us well. I love my parents, they are 2 of my best friends. But one of my biggest wishes in life was that they would have taught me about sexuality when I was younger or even when I was older. Sex was never mentioned in my home. Sexual feelings were never mentioned. And because of that I had to learn from the outside world. I learned from school sex-ed classes, from friends, from college roommates and unfortunately from the internet. That is not the way to learn, let me tell you. I wish I could have learned it in a gospel-centered way. I wish I could have learned about sex the way it was intended to be learned, God's way. I heave every intent to speak freely and openly with my future children about sexuality. I don't want them to feel like it's an awkward or scary topic. I don't want them learning from outside sources. I want them to learn it from someone they love and trust and someone they know they can talk to openly, their parents.

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I grew up in an idealistic Mormon home with parents who did everything they could to live the gospel

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As I grew up, my parents and the gospel were two main contributors to how I learned about sex. I cant remember exactly when I was taught about what it actually was, but I do know that I was taught correct principles. I was always taught that I should live the law of chastity and not participate in any sexual behaviors or sex itself before I was married. I was always taught that it is a good thing, it just is reserved for husband and wife and that it is very sacred.

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Growing up I remember what I learned about sexuality came from school. The first time I heard about certain sexual phrases it happened on the playground in elementary school. I was way too young and naive to know what most of the words mean so I would ask my older sister. I did not feel comfortable talking to my parents about such things, so I am glad that I had her

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I learned mostly from my peers and church. My parents never talked with me about it. From my peers I learned at an early age what sex was and was grossed out by it (but I think any elementary student would be). Before my friends told me I remember watching an episode of Family Matters and every time Steve Urkel kissed his girlfriend she got pregnant, so I thought is was that easy, so when my friends told me how it really worked it grossed me out.
As I got older I learned about chastity and the sacredness of sex through YW lessons and For the Strength of Youth. I was grateful to have their guidance because the media was so lax about it.

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I definitely learned about sexuality from a mix between the gospel teachings and influences from media. I honestly wish my parents have taught me more about it. I am grateful about the spirituality of sexuality that I learned about through the gospel primarily by reading from the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet. I think the media exposure I have had in my life also greatly taught me about what sexuality is, but it did not teach me about in the most sacred way. Media treats it so casually, which is why I am glad I was able to learn more about the doctrine of it through the gospel and not just about sexual acts within themselves.

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My mom was probably one of the biggest influences in teaching me about sex. I would have classes in school that required us to talk to our parents about the different subjects, especially sex, and my mom would sit down and talk to me about those things. I could ask her questions if I had them. There were also many lessons in YW and other church activities which taught me the sanctity and importance of sex from a gospel perspective as well. I feel like I have also heard a lot from peers, especially in high school. However, what my peers taught me helped to reinforce what my mom and the gospel taught me because I could see how my peers disrespect for the sanctity of the sexual relationship was hurting them.

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My parents were probably the biggest influence on my view of sexuality. I don't ever remember sitting down and having "the talk" but I remember my mother being willing to answer any of my questions. She did give me one instruction that has always stuck with me. She used to say"until your married you shouldn't do anything with a boy that you would be embarrassed to do in front of me." This certainly worked for me. It is interesting to me how when my siblings got older and began cohabitating that the same advice didn't apply. However, even before I joined the church I knew that I wanted to wait until I was married to be sexually involved with someone and this advice really helped me find that line of what was okay and what wasn't. As far as learning what sex was, I received most of my information from my siblings. I have a brother and a sister that are much older than me and would hear them discuss things. I also was influenced by the media where sex is not portrayed as something sacred, which I now know that it is. I also gained a bit of information from the sex education program at my school as well as from biology classes.

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My parents taught me about the standards and my dad really focused on the For Strength of Youth pamphlet.  It was interesting because my parents never discussed with me about "sex" just that it was something for marriage.

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I was exposed to sexuality since I was little. I learned about sex at school, and basically anywhere. Later when growing up I learned about it through books. My parents never talked to me about sex when growing up, except for that one time when my dad talked to me about sex and the how and whats. My education about sex in the church however has been to teach me how sacred sex is, which I respect and understand that this is only to be used when one is legally and legitimately married. Sex is great, is something vital that we need, however is to be used when married.

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I was never really given the "talk" or told about sexuality. My mom was a single mom and avoided this topic because she didn't know how to go about it. So I was often led in the dark about what sexuality was and what was good and bad. Thankfully I had amazing friends in the gospel who led by example and we talked about this. The church also has the pamphlet For the Strength of the Youth which really helped me. Luckily I was smart enough to read through that several times and to listen or else I don't want to know where I would be right now.
this is just it thought, my siblings never caught on to the gospel standards and teachings and have struggled with porn and premarital sex. I think this is case in point of the importance of parents talking to their children about sexuality. Be the first reliable source to your children, or else they'll find it elsewhere and it won't be good most always.

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I grew up in a fabulous LDS home. Everything was done right. But we didn't really talk about sex and for some reason I was intensely curious. I picked up a lot of inappropriate ideas from school via conversation and pictures. It just seemed to fuel my curiosity. I read many books that didn't portray an accurate version of love . By the time I started dating I was in the wrong mind set. It took many years to rectify that. But there was pain along that path. After I was married my mother wanted to talk to me about sex. She wanted to make sure I was understanding how important it was to a marriage relationship. I found it a confusing conversation because I felt it was too late. Why did she come to me now? I knew and understood church doctrine and standards. That information didn't help me over come my weakness in this area. I fell for all of the traps media sells. As a mother I have vowed to do things differently. I am on the watch for teaching moments with my own children.

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My mother was the main one who taught me about sex. She taught me the proper names for human anatomy and showed pictures in an encylopedia. She taught me where babies come from, and then as I got older we had talks about chasity and waiting for marriage. I think my Mom did a better job than many parents. I knew that sex was sacred and between a husband and wife, but I found out a lot with my husband that I wish I had known more about before.

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My mother was very upfront about the technicalities sex but did not expand on it beyond that.  Most of what I knew as an adolescent and teenager was from my friends, television shows, movies, and music.  It wasn't until I became a single mother that I really started to take part in what the Lord taught on this subject and relationships as a whole.

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Mother & YW Leaders  My mother explained the mechanics of human sexuality in a dark room with my brother and I. We never really talked about it from a gospel perspective. I think there are so many great tools to help our children understand about intamacy and the beauty of it and how it strengthens marriages, but can cause damage outside of marriage. 

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Mother & YW Leaders  My mother explained the mechanics of human sexuality in a dark room with my brother and I. We never really talked about it from a gospel perspective. I think there are so many great tools to help our children understand about intamacy and the beauty of it and how it strengthens marriages, but can cause damage outside of marriage. 

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My parents discouraged talk that related to sex or what a body does naturally. Frankly, I'm still waiting for the "birds and bees" discussion from my parents.
Most of what I learned about sex I learned from conversations with friends. Fortunately, I had good friends who didn't make fun of me or take advantage of me. This is where it would have been nice for parental guidance in case there was misinformation being received.

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As far as information from my parents, I am almost 60 years old and have never received the talk.  My siblings and I had to gather information other ways.  Lucky for our parents and us we had good church leaders and all love biology.  I think we understood the biology of it before we understood the morality and spirituality.  I looked to my mother's parents to clarify for me.  They worked hard at their marriage and valued family the way I wanted it to be for me when I married.  I sure hope I did a better job with my children.  They came to me with questions, which I answered honestly, and tried to impart the spirituality of what I was telling them.  The music, ads, vides of today twist and pervert sexuality.  I did not want them to think that was what is was about.

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There have been many forces that have helped me learn about sexuality and sex in my life. The main influence that has helped me learn about sexuality and gain a desire to wait till marriage to participate in sex has been my college education here at BYU-I. My education has helped me learn that sexuality is not as easy and care free as the world would have us believe. It has taught me that only within a marriage commitment is a couple able to work together and make their sexual relationship the amazing experience it should be. My parents were a good examples to me about being truly committed to your spouse that will always be an influence in my life and did answer any question that I had but never did I get “the talk” in any shape or form. The gospel has helped me gain an understanding of how special our physical bodies are who we should not mistreat them. The gospel has also helped me gain my own faith in trusting the Lords way and has influenced me to live a chaste life seeking for an eternal companion. Also sadly it was my high school friends and their struggles that helped me learn why sex without commitment has no meaning and usually only ends up hurting those who don’t wait for marriage. As I said to begin with each of these forces have help me learn about sexuality and helped me learn why I can never trust the world to teach me about the important things in life.

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My parents never gave me the talk.  I got bits and pieces through the media and my peers.  When I got engaged, my then fiance and I read a couple different books to help me get a better understanding and be prepared for marriage and physical intimacy.  My mom was shocked later when I told her she never gave the talk.  Apparently that was something she planned to give everyone, but somehow I slipped through the cracks and eventually she thought she already gave me the talk. What came from that is how serious I will take much more seriously with my own children.

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My parents never gave me the talk. I got bits and pieces through the media and

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Growing up, I was one of the only members of the Church in my entire county. Needless to say, I got a lot of worldly perspectives on things, especially sex. That seemed to be the only thing people could talk about, and I thought that I'd heard it all before even leaving high school. Had this been my only source of information about sex, I would think that it’s only for self-gratification – you have sex to fulfill the natural urge within you. I would think that the only consequence would be a potential STD, but that even then, it can be avoided with protection.  The media portrays men and women as objects to be enjoyed, not people with sensitive emotions and feelings.  That there are no limits, especially when you are married.  “Your spouse’s body is yours to do whatever you want to it.”
I'm grateful for the gospel and my own personal study of conference talks and the scriptures to understand the spiritual significance of it all.

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I learned with my husband. My mom never talked to me about it. Was scared to me getting married, we didn't know exactly what to do? Everything we know we saw at TV or movie. 

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I learned with my husband. My mom never talked to me about it. Was scared to me getting married, we didn't know exactly what to do? Everything we know we saw at TV or movie. 

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I remember my parents always being open to the subject of sex. I never wanted to bring it up...EVER because my parents would just talk about how sacred it was. The were not shy at all about it. It was good that they always talked about it though because then I was never shy or embarrassed to ask about anything like that.

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Growing up I was a very naive and shy teenager and I knew very little about sex. I had a few friends who knew a lot for different reasons and they would talk about it all the time. The good thing is that the gospel helped me see clearly about the things they were saying.

My parents never talked to me about sexual things. When I got engaged I talked to my sister about the wedding night because both my parents were pretty closed off and distant when it came to sexual topics.

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My mom is the one who talk with me about sexual things. I don't ever remember having, "the talk" with her, but I always felt comfortable asking her questions about everything. I remember a couple of times, I asked her a question and she said that I was too young to know the answer. I think that although that worked then, (I'm 52 years old), it would not work now. Kids hear too much now and need to have their questions addressed when they ask them. I am grateful that sex/intimacy was taught to me in a positive way. I did not dread, but looked forward to an intimate relationship with my spouse due to the teachings of my mother.

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My friend got the anatomy terms when we were 5 and she shared them with me. When I told my mom, she decided to clarify then and there. All I remember was her talking about a tube and then something about how babies come when a woman gets pregnant. So I thought you had to go to a machine at the hospital to get pregnant and that the husband and wife just had to be there. I learned from friends at school a year or so later what really happens. I had learned at home and at church that our bodies are sacred and that sex should wait for marriage.

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My mom’s idea of teaching me and my siblings about sex was to have a family home evening where we pulled words about sex and procreation out of a hat and looked up the definitions. We then had to read them out loud. It was extremely awkward, almost as awkward as my mom telling me I could have a baby the day I started my period. I was a preteen at the time and had learned about sex and procreation from my friends already. The definitions we looked up were in line with what I had learned from my friends. I guess my friend’s parents or older sibling had taught them correctly.

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I would say that it was a combination for me. I would learn things both places and then would be able to see if they matched. Most of the time these two matched so I knew how to avoid the stuff I learned at school. There were so many different things that I saw and heard, but I trusted the church and my parents.

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My mother primarily taught me about sex. She had a positive slant on how wonderful and beautiful it was. My dad was sometimes present, but it was clear this was not something he was comfortable discussing.

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Who taught you about sex? Was it your parents, the media, friends, or the gospel? Choose your primary influence, then post a brief comment near the selected primary influence below. (You may need to scroll right/left or up/down to see the choices.) For clarity, please title your comment with either Parents, Media, Friends or Gospel..

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