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I like how you established the quick pace and rhythm at the beginning but you kind of lost it at the end. Use poetic devices such as analogies (similes and metaphors), repetition, alliteration...

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I like how you have time in your poem although its not direct. You can hear the change from the first two stanzas to the third mostly because the stanzas start differently. I also like the connection in the last stanza about the flask and what you've come to find.

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Glow- Your metaphors are strong and are helpful with imagery. You have strong choice of word which help with the intensity of your topic.

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Glow: I like your rhyme scheme and how it helps with the intensity of your poem. Your metaphors are very interesting and well put. Also, I like your punctuation and how you placed it.

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Glow: In your first stanza I like the way you say a statement and then you answer to the statement with a "but" although you don't necessarily write "but".

Grow: Your speaker I think is third person but the person it talks about is interesting maybe you should elabarate on that.

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I liked how you based the structure of your poem on different times of your morning routine. In order to make the poem stringer, I would use variations

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Glow: I liked how the poem starts off the uncertainty of a speaker's lifestyle alone. This would make the imagery blurred from the reader's mind of what it could be like in their upcoming future.

Grow: It doesn't have connotation or any other rhetorical devices that is not even being used.

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Glow: I liked how the poem has shown great usage of imagery in the setting taken place. More so, it has a face-paced rhythm going through pattern and pattern.

Grow: It needs more lines to make the imagery have some ephasis

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I like how you easily established a speaker and provided lots of evidence.

You probably shouldn't add the last line because it's kind of intuitive, that's what you want the reader to think after they read the poem.

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glow:you poem is easy to connect to

grow:

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growth: IMAGERY good job on that, the tone is well heard as i read, the word choice is good

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Glow: i like how you use some rhyming in your poem like in stanza 1 "sidewalk" and "hawk".Also how you use the words "abandoned , neglectred ,and unprotected" to show how you feel.

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PANCAKES

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Glow-

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Glow:

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Glow

The rhyme in the begining really makes it

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I like how you use the times of your daily routine and explain how you feel at those time frames.

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I like how the first and last line of the poem are repetitive, it creates a nice flow and structure along with the division of the poem. I couldn't really find a grow. I believe the poem is well written and contains lots or imager, metaphors (comparing the beauty of a rose to the girl), and repetition.

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Glow: I believe most kids in the class can connect with Deja's poem, the certain rhyming words also helps connect the poem to the reader

Grow: Maybe next time you could use more rhyming because your rhyming actually makes the poem stronger

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Glow: I believe most kids in the class can connect with Deja's poem

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Glow: I liked how your poem is relatively close to the person in one's life and this agitate the speaker's feelings. The rhythm is slow and it makes an incantation that the girl is like someone who is too perfect for the speaker to compare to.

Glow: There isn't the need to make two stanzas as two paragraphs nor make it like one to begin with.

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Glow: you did very well on using imagery and figurative language throughout the poem. I enjoy reading this poem.

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Glow- you are very good at showing emotion through your word picturing the girl smiling at all time.

Grow- I think you could add more sound into your poem maybe saying "I smile although I hear my tears drip in the inside...one after another:"

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Glow: The metaphors really help establish imagery. I like the structure of the poem about how you're not sure if it's fall and then in the end you know it is.

Grow: There's not a lot to go off about the speaker involving some feelings would be great.

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Glow- The repetition of "One" helps to develope tone and theme

Grow:use more imagery

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Glow: Awesome flow and rhythm. Really is a clear description of the streets of Houston. It was thoroughly engaging and I wanted to read more.

Grow: I would suggest a few short lines in between. Don't get me wrong, its a good poem overall

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I like how you go deep into emotions and use words that describe your love to her

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Sometimes the imagery can be a little confusing, I don't understand how you are in a "soft ocean" while surrounded in leaves.

But I have to say the experience is surreal.

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glow: you exceeded the requirements

Grow:try to seem more happy even though happiness is not the theme

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Glow: Your description of "stacks and piles of green treasure" reminds me of money and it's a strong beginning since it's something I can picture without having to see the word "money". Your poem flows with description helping the reader understand your imagery.

Grow: Even though you do a good job of having some rhyme helping the sound of your poem, some verses can be longer than others.

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Glow: I fee like this poem is like the one's we're used to reading. I had to read it like three time to understand it, and that's good thing. Shakespeare alike.

Grow: Boyyy I think this is a great poem!

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Glow: I liked how your poem deals with the subject of life. This relates to the nostalgic behind the speaker's tone and how he didn't dwell in the past too long.

Grow: This poem needs to have some sort of rhythm and more meaning to support it.

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Glow: I really like your poem and how the events went in chronological order as well as the repetition

Grow:The imagery in the beginning was great and I feel like a little more imagery towards the end would give the poem a really good ending.

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I like how you repeated the phrase "sure why not", i feel that by you repeating that, it gets drilled in the readers mind about what. You are also making the reader seem guilty for the decisions they make.

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Love the imagery that envelops the entire poem. I can almost see, feel, and hear every line that I read. One grow would be establishing a speaker instead of just focusing on the movement of the leaf.

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Glow: This is definitely different from what I usually read. I liked it, had a nice flow.

Grow: I for sure have to say that a bit more writing could definitely serve you well. Maybe longer lines in the beginning, try to add variation.

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Glow: I like the idea in your poem its very interesting and great word usage

Grow: Next time maybe write a little shorter and not like a paragraph, mystery can be

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Glow: i liked the use of the time set up, he went from being young to being old. Really good on word choice it makes me see the tone of this poem.

Growth: add more

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Glow: i liked the use of chronologic

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Glow:

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I like the excessive use of negative diction throughout the poem. I believe that it is hard to establish who the speaker .

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Glow: I like the alliteration in this poem, it actually makes it sound like a poem (:

Grow: If you used repetition on some things it would help the reader feel the way a senior feels.

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Glow: very strong choice of language and great comparisons

Grow: Lacks imagery and doesn't flow as good as it could

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Glow: The loaded use of metaphors provide amazing support for the imagery used in your poem. I have a great sense of the season established in the poem. I also like the line describing the leaves as a carpet, I can hear the crunch as the speaker walks through the leaves.

Grow: Try and develop what we know about the speaker, you did well as to showing the love for the season the speak but providing a little more information could make the reader's understanding better.

-De'

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Glow:

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Glow: I really like how you use some similes to compare the girl with her mom and her smile to the sun. You are very descriptive when you explain how the girl is feeling.

Grow: Since you used some rhyming maybe you can try to rhyme more of your words.

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Glow: I liked the overall story within the poem. It got me pretty hooked.

Grow: Well, I suggest making the lines a bit shorter and adding the extra on the next line. It was a bit too long but a slow poem is pretty good.

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Glow: Good job on describing your surroundings with repetition of words and consonants

Grow: Maybe matching

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Glow: The way your poem flowed and how you ended it. I really really like it. :)

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Glow- i enjoyed your topic and how you specify on it making me picture it. Showing how hard it is to work extremely hard and fail at somthing.

Grow- i feel like you could add more sound in your poem

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Glow: imagery is very well used and we can understand that you are running.

Grow: you could use different sized sentences to represent the speed of your running.

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Glow: I loved the beginning when you use a metaphor to describe the anticipation of a child waiting for her father. This can be powerful for describing the speaker.

Grow: The idea of short verses can be powerful, try to add more variety in your structure.

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Glow

The imagery really makes lets you feel how tough the speaker has it as a hard working student. Such a strict life style.

Grow

Try to use more metaphors in your poem to make it sound like it is truly rigorous to maintain a 4.0

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GLOW FROM ENRIQUE TO CESAR ORTIZ BAUTISTA

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GLOW FROM ENRIQUE TO CESAR ORTIZ BAUTISTA

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I like how you started your poem fast and then slowed it down by using longer sentences.

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This poem is quite different from what we usually read. I like how you are speaking from a first person point of view. The exclamatory claims that you make in your poem serve well in your overall tone.

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Glow: I like how there is a theme behind the poem as it symbolizes that anything can become a weapon. If weapons had never existed, there would have been peace in the speaker's life.

Grow: There shouldn't be a need to used a paragraph in each stanza.

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Glow: I love the way I'm able to understand what she's talking about.

Grow: Write a little  more.

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Glow: Your phrase at the beginning of each stanza really brings the reader in

Grow: You could possibly use some rhyming with that introductory phrase to keep the reader intrested

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I really like the repetition of a few words that establish the importance of the poem. I can really connect to the poem and understand who the speaker is as well as how he/she feels. A grow would probably be continuing the repetition throughout the poem instead of just the first half because it makes the poem a lot stronger.

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Glow: I loved the rhyming scheme in the poem, it was really touching and I felt engaged into it. Absolutely good job on it!

Grow: I do suggest adding a bit of variation in line length, the long length is fine and slow, but its always better to have variation for the reader.

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Glow: I love the way she used repetition that actually tied to her poem

Growth : add more figurative language

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Glow: I like the repetition you use in your poem, it really adds to the melancholy tone of the poem.

Grow: You started using imagery by describing the flask but you could make it stronger. Maybe describe the actual object more or what exactly it symbolizes, such as it was just a drinking glass then a weapon.

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"Armaments depend on the user"

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"My town"

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"Leave Me Alone"

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Giovanna De Leon- "Smiling Through the Day"

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Giovanna De Leon- "Smiling Through the Day"

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Guadalupe Arambula- "Cancer's Victorious Battle"

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Guadalupe Arambula- "Cancer's Victorious Battle"

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Connotation/Denotation

Precision/Ambiguity

Patterns in Word Choice

Metaphor/Simile

Symbolism

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This should be something you think can be improved in the poem. These GROWS should be based on what we've been studying in class.

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This should be something you like about the poem or something you think the poet has done well: These GLOWS should be based on what we've been studying.

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2. Please read at least five of your classmates' poems. For each poem do the following things:

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2. Please read at least five of your classmates' poems. For each poem do the following things:

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1. Please add your poem to the wall. Click anywhere to create a box and upload your file.

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1. Please add your poem to the wall. Click anywhere to create a box and upload your file.