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Her plum red heart was thumping rapidly in her ears and her sweaty palms burned. The perishing temperature had suddenly dropped to  the killing zone.
Vigilantly, she sneaked across the pitch-black street to the throbbing noise.
What was it?

Her frail hand vigorously shook like a skeletal oak branch in a blizzard as she stopped and placed it on the rotting bookshelf.

Silence descended.

Subsequently, bending her head and peering round the corner , a shrill noise surrounded her freezing ears.

Tap, tap, tap...

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The perishing temperature had suddenly dropped; to a killing degrees.

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YOu have 5 mins - ring if necessary but your team need to start putting your ideas together 

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YOu have 5 mins - ring if necessary but your team need to start putting your ideas together 

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YOU MUST START PUTTING YOUR POSTS TOGTEHR - CALL EACH OTHER AND GET SOMEONE TO TYPE ONTO HERE (THE QUICKETST TPYER)

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Vigilatly, she sneaked across the pitch-black arrival to the valving noise.

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Subsequently, perking her head and tautening, noise shot her ears. What is this? This doesn't make sense yet

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Her frale hand vigorously shook like a skeletal branch as she stopped and placed it on the rotting bookshelf. FRAIL make the simile more precise - it could be better What kind of tree? On a Windy WInter^s day for example

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her plum red heart was thumping rapidly in her ears and her sweaty palms burned.

Good bur you can't have itched ideally another word or phrase  much better sophe

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YOu have 10 mins to (as a group rewrite the piece of text)  and SOMEONE needs to type it up here (I will then copy it across to general feed later )

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YOu have 10 mins to (as a group rewrite the piece of text)  and SOMEONE needs to type it up here (I will then copy it across to general feed later )

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carefully, Pruna creeped along the shadowy estate towards the knocking sound

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carefully, Pruna creeped along the shadowy estate towards the knocking sound

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OK so Nathalie, when you are ready you can allocate each person with a sentence to start modifying - If you want to ring them, you can 

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OK so Nathalie, when you are ready you can allocate each person with a sentence to start modifying - If you want to ring them, you can 

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2) i don't really like it because i don't really understand what is going on, it seems abit vague

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2) i don't really like it because i don't really understand what is going on, it seems abit vague

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I dislike the structure of the poem and how they weren’t using many adjectives.

It is not a poem, just a piece of description from a story but yes more adjectives would make it more visual

Start allocating each other a sentence to change

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2) i like it because it has lots of good words and you can feel what she feels

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2) i like it because it has lots of good words and you can feel what she feels

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Give examples of words that show that

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you should be looking at what you like or dislike about the text now

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you should be looking at what you like or dislike about the text now

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Could it be?

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Suddenly, dreadful silence filled the room

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Suddenly, dreadful silence filled the room

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Good!

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I like how the final verse is only repetition and how they show dont tell And the use of similes.

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And personification

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BE SPECIFIC - SHOW EXAMPLES FROM TEXT OF THE METHODS HE USES EG SIMILE -...

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BE SPECIFIC - SHOW EXAMPLES FROM TEXT OF THE METHODS HE USES EG SIMILE -...

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PERSONIFICATION...

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The author uses show not tell, similes, rhetorical questions, repetition and using senses. - good but you need to give examples of each method

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give exmaples please

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The author uses similes, rhetorical questions, shot sentences, personification, show not tell..

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Sophia  _ NO U SHOULD BE WORKING THROUGH THE PADLET - LOTS OF IDEAS JOTTING DOWN AND WHEN NATHALITE THINKS YOU ARE READY TO DO Q3 THEN YOU CALL but there is not much here yet!

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So all of you should now be working on 1) What techniques has he used?

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So all of you should now be working on 1) What techniques has he used?

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You shouldn't need to call.   Get all your ideas down on here first - like brainstorming

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You shouldn't need to call.   Get all your ideas down on here first - like brainstorming

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Adam

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2) What do you like/dislike about this text?
3) Highlight the sentences that SHOW her fear. Nathalie allocate a sentence for each person in the group. Have a go at rewriting the sentence in a different way.