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Idea for a somatic practice for practicing gevurah

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Idea for a somatic practice for practicing gevurah

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When we're taking on too much of someone else's feelings, could try the gesture of a pushing away motion with our left arm/hand, to remind us of gevurah, and that while our right hand pulls in, our left hand needs to push away in order to be able to give chesed.

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www.sefaria.org/sheets/399501

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"Mutual aid is a form of political participation in which people take responsibility for caring for one another and changing political conditions, not just through symbolic acts or putting pressure on their representatives in government but by actually building new social relations that are more survivable. There is nothing new about mutual aid - people have worked together to survive for all of human history. The framework of mutual aid is significant in the context of social movements resisting capitalist and colonial domination, in which wealth and resources are extracted and concentrated and most people can survive only by participating in various extractive relationships. Providing for one another through coordinated collective care is radical and generative. Effective social movements always include elements of mutual aid."

-Dean Spade, Solidarity Not Charity: Mutual Aid for Mobilization and Survival

The word chesed means kindness or benevolence. It denotes the unbounded loving-kindness with which G‑d created the worlds and with which all of creation is permeated, as the verse states, "The world was built with chesed" ( Psalms 89:3).

Kabbala explains that kindness was, in fact, the reason for the Creation. Since G‑d's "nature" is absolute benevolence and loving-kindness, He created the worlds so that He would have upon whom to bestow His kindness, as is written in Etz Chaim, "It is the nature of He who is good to do good."

Gevura means restrictive power

Since the infinite and unlimited chesed of G‑d is intended for finite creatures unable to absorb infinite kindness and yet remain in physical existence, the attribute of chesed is controlled and limited by the aspect of gevura. Gevura means restrictive power, the power to limit and conceal the Infinite Light so that each creature can receive according to its capacity. Thus, gevura is also an aspect of G‑d's kindness, for if the outpouring of infinite kindness were to remain unrestricted, finite creatures would become instantly nullified in the infinite revelation of divine love. Therefore the sefira of gevura is the manifestation of G‑d's power to restrict and conceal the light so that His creatures can receive His loving-kindness, each according to its capacity.

The sefira of tiferet represents the harmonious blending of varying colors and forms, producing a work of great beauty. The word tiferet is derived from the Hebrew word pe'er, meaning "beauty". The attribute of tiferet blends chesed and gevura, so that a proper mixture of the two can produce a bearable revelation of chesed to finite created beings. In other words, tiferet is the attribute which merges the benevolent flow of chesed and the restrictive severity of gevura so that each creature will receive its proper measure of Divine Light and life-force. This is why tiferet is also called "compassion" or "mercy", for it enables chesed and gevura to balance each other so that G‑d's benevolence can be absorbed by the limited world without its ceasing to exist.

On the third day of Creation, water and land were separated, and the vegetable kingdom was created. The Third day, related to the third most elevated sefira, tiferet, sets a balance between water and land, so that the vegetable kingdom (and thus the animal and human kingdoms also) can be sustained by both of them, each plant according to its needs.

-Chabad.org (https://www.chabad.org/kabbalah/article_cdo/aid/380796/jewish/Chesed-Gevura-Tiferet.htm)

Chesed and Gevurah act together to create an inner balance in the soul's approach to the outside world. While the "right arm" of chesed operates to draw others near, the "left arm" of gevurah reserves the option of repelling those deemed undeserving. (Even towards those to whom one's initial relation is that of "the left arm repels," one must subsequently apply the complementary principle of "the right arm draws near").

Ultimately, the might of gevurah becomes the power and forcefulness to implement one's innate desire of chesed. Only by the power of gevurah is chesed able to penetrate the coarse, opposing surface of reality. The Baal Shem Tov discusses the ability of gevurah to effect Divine withdrawal (tzimzum), which in turn creates potential for chesed to occur in creation.

-sensagent.com (http://dictionary.sensagent.com/Gevurah/en-en/)

(יד) הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, אִם אֵין אֲנִי לִי, מִי לִי. וּכְשֶׁאֲנִי לְעַצְמִי, מָה אֲנִי. וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו, אֵימָתָי:

(14) He [also] used to say: If I am not for myself, who is for me? But if I am for my own self [only], what am I? And if not now, when?

ת"ר בשלשה דברים גדולה גמילות חסדים יותר מן הצדקה צדקה בממונו גמילות חסדים בין בגופו בין בממונו צדקה לעניים גמילות חסדים בין לעניים בין לעשירים צדקה לחיים גמילות חסדים בין לחיים בין למתים וא"ר אלעזר כל העושה צדקה ומשפט כאילו מילא כל העולם כולו חסד שנאמר (תהלים לג, ה) אוהב צדקה ומשפט חסד ה' מלאה הארץ שמא תאמר כל הבא לקפוץ קופץ ת"ל (תהלים לו, ח) מה יקר חסדך אלקים (חסד ה' מלאה הארץ) וגו' יכול אף ירא שמים כן ת"ל (תהלים קג, יז) וחסד ה' מעולם ועד עולם על יראיו

The Sages taught that And Rabbi Elazar said: Anyone who performs charity and justice is considered as though he filled the whole world in its entirety with kindness, as it is stated: "He loves charity and justice; the earth is full of the kindness of the Lord" (Psalms 33:5). Lest you say that anyone who comes to leap and perform an act of kindness may simply leap and do so without scrutiny, the verse states: "How precious is your kindness, O God" (Psalms 36:8). It is a precious and rare occurrence to perform an act of kindness properly. acts of kindness are superior to charity in three respects: Charity can be performed only with one's money, while acts of kindness can be performed both with his person and with his money. Charity is given to the poor, while acts of kindness are performed both for the poor and for the rich. Charity is given to the living, while acts of kindness are performed both for the living and for the dead.

גסטרא של בית פעור הראנו היכן משה קבור עמדו למעלה נדמה להם למטה למטה נדמה להם למעלה נחלקו לשתי כיתות אותן שעומדים למעלה נדמה להן למטה למטה נדמה להן למעלה לקיים מה שנאמר (דברים לד, ו) ולא ידע איש את קבורתו ר' חמא בר' חנינא אמר אף משה רבינו אינו יודע היכן קבור כתיב הכא ולא ידע איש את קבורתו וכתיב התם (דברים לג, א) וזאת הברכה אשר ברך משה איש האלהים וא"ר חמא ברבי חנינא מפני מה נקבר משה אצל בית פעור כדי לכפר על מעשה פעור ואמר רבי חמא ברבי חנינא מאי דכתיב (דברים יג, ה) אחרי ה' אלהיכם תלכו וכי אפשר לו לאדם להלך אחר שכינה והלא כבר נאמר (דברים ד, כד) כי ה' אלהיך אש אוכלה הוא אלא להלך אחר מדותיו של הקב"ה מה הוא מלביש ערומים דכתיב (בראשית ג, כא) ויעש ה' אלהים לאדם ולאשתו כתנות עור וילבישם אף אתה הלבש ערומים הקב"ה ביקר חולים דכתיב (בראשית יח, א) וירא אליו ה' באלוני ממרא אף אתה בקר חולים הקב"ה ניחם אבלים דכתיב (בראשית כה, יא) ויהי אחרי מות אברהם ויברך אלהים את יצחק בנו אף אתה נחם אבלים הקב"ה קבר מתים דכתיב (דברים לד, ו) ויקבר אותו בגיא אף אתה קבור מתים כתנות עור

And Rabbi Ḥama, son of Rabbi Ḥanina, says: What is the meaning of that which is written: "After the Lord your God shall you walk, and Him shall you fear, and His commandments shall you keep, and unto His voice shall you hearken, and Him shall you serve, and unto Him shall you cleave" (Deuteronomy 13:5)? But is it actually possible for a person to follow the Divine Presence? But hasn't it already been stated: "For the Lord your God is a devouring fire, a jealous God" (Deuteronomy 4:24), and one cannot approach fire.

He explains: Rather, the meaning is that one should follow the attributes of the Holy One, Blessed be He. He provides several examples. Just as He clothes the naked, as it is written: "And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skin, and clothed them" ( Genesis 3:21 ), so too, should you clothe the naked. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, visits the sick, as it is written with regard to God's appearing to Abraham following his circumcision: "And the Lord appeared unto him by the terebinths of Mamre" ( Genesis 18:1 ), so too, should you visit the sick. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, consoles mourners, as it is written: "And it came to pass after the death of Abraham, that God blessed Isaac his son" ( Genesis 25:11 ), so too, should you console mourners. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, buried the dead, as it is written: "And he was buried in the valley in the land of Moab" ( Deuteronomy 34:6 ), so too, should you bury the dead.

(ו) כִּ֛י חֶ֥סֶד חָפַ֖צְתִּי וְלֹא־זָ֑בַח וְדַ֥עַת אֱלֹקִ֖ים מֵעֹלֽוֹת׃

(6) For I desire goodness, not sacrifice; Awareness [ da'at] of God, rather than burnt offerings.

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Chesed, Gevurah, and Mutual Aid 4/14/22 | Sefaria

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"Mutual aid is a form of political participation in which people take responsibility for caring for one another and changing political conditions, not just through symbolic acts or putting pressure on their representatives in government but by actually building new social relations that are more survivable.

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Mutual Aid Beit Midrash 4_7_22 _ Sefaria

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Connect people to CLP

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People's favs - maybe about Jewish stuff. Can read on Shabbos!

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Yovel Presentation from SJ Seldin/Jewish Farmer Network/Yesod Farm+Kitchen

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Yovel Presentation from SJ Seldin/Jewish Farmer Network/Yesod Farm+Kitchen

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(21) Make for Me an altar of earth
מִזְבַּ֣ח אֲדָמָה֮ תַּעֲשֶׂה־לִּי֒

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Earth Based Judaism
2/3/2022

(א) וַיְדַבֵּ֣ר אֱלֹהִ֔ים אֵ֛ת כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֥ים הָאֵ֖לֶּה לֵאמֹֽר׃ {ס} (ב) אָֽנֹכִ֖י֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֑֔יךָ אֲשֶׁ֧ר הוֹצֵאתִ֛יךָ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם מִבֵּ֣֥ית עֲבָדִ֑͏ֽים׃ (ג) לֹֽ֣א־יִהְיֶ֥͏ֽה־לְךָ֛֩ אֱלֹהִ֥֨ים אֲחֵרִ֖֜ים עַל־פָּנָֽ֗͏ַי׃ (ד) לֹֽ֣א־תַֽעֲשֶׂ֨ה־לְךָ֥֣ פֶ֣֙סֶל֙ (ה) לֹֽא־תִשְׁתַּחֲוֶ֥֣ה לָהֶ֖ם֮ וְלֹ֣א תׇעׇבְדֵ֑ם֒ כִּ֣י אָֽנֹכִ֞י יְהֹוָ֤ה אֱלֹהֶ֙יךָ֙ אֵ֣ל קַנָּ֔א פֹּ֠קֵד עֲוֺ֨ן אָבֹ֧ת עַל־בָּנִ֛ים עַל־שִׁלֵּשִׁ֥ים וְעַל־רִבֵּעִ֖ים לְשֹׂנְאָֽ֑י׃ (ו) וְעֹ֥֤שֶׂה חֶ֖֙סֶד֙ לַאֲלָפִ֑֔ים לְאֹהֲבַ֖י וּלְשֹׁמְרֵ֥י מִצְוֺתָֽי׃ {ס} (ז) לֹ֥א תִשָּׂ֛א אֶת־שֵֽׁם־יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ לַשָּׁ֑וְא כִּ֣י לֹ֤א יְנַקֶּה֙ יְהֹוָ֔ה אֵ֛ת אֲשֶׁר־יִשָּׂ֥א אֶת־שְׁמ֖וֹ לַשָּֽׁוְא׃ {פ} ׀ וְכׇל־תְּמוּנָ֔֡ה אֲשֶׁ֤֣ר בַּשָּׁמַ֣֙יִם֙ (ח) זָכ֛וֹר֩ אֶת־י֥֨וֹם הַשַּׁבָּ֖֜ת לְקַדְּשֽׁ֗וֹ׃ (ט) שֵׁ֤֣שֶׁת יָמִ֣ים֙ תַּֽעֲבֹ֔ד֮ וְעָשִׂ֖֣יתָ כׇּֿל־מְלַאכְתֶּֽךָ֒׃ (י) וְי֨וֹם֙ הַשְּׁבִיעִ֔֜י שַׁבָּ֖֣ת (יא) כִּ֣י שֵֽׁשֶׁת־יָמִים֩ עָשָׂ֨ה יְהֹוָ֜ה אֶת־הַשָּׁמַ֣יִם וְאֶת־הָאָ֗רֶץ אֶת־הַיָּם֙ וְאֶת־כׇּל־אֲשֶׁר־בָּ֔ם וַיָּ֖נַח בַּיּ֣וֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִ֑י עַל־כֵּ֗ן בֵּרַ֧ךְ יְהֹוָ֛ה אֶת־י֥וֹם הַשַּׁבָּ֖ת וַֽיְקַדְּשֵֽׁהוּ׃ {ס} (יב) כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ לְמַ֙עַן֙ יַאֲרִכ֣וּן יָמֶ֔יךָ עַ֚ל הָאֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לָֽךְ׃ {ס} (יג) לֹ֥֖א תִּֿרְצָ֖͏ֽח׃ {ס} לֹ֣֖א תִּֿנְאָ֑͏ֽף׃ {ס} לֹ֣֖א תִּֿגְנֹֽ֔ב׃ {ס} לֹֽא־תַעֲנֶ֥ה בְרֵעֲךָ֖ עֵ֥ד שָֽׁקֶר׃ {ס} (יד) לֹ֥א תַחְמֹ֖ד בֵּ֣ית רֵעֶ֑ךָ {ס} לֹֽא־תַחְמֹ֞ד אֵ֣שֶׁת רֵעֶ֗ךָ וְעַבְדּ֤וֹ וַאֲמָתוֹ֙ וְשׁוֹר֣וֹ וַחֲמֹר֔וֹ וְכֹ֖ל אֲשֶׁ֥ר לְרֵעֶֽךָ׃ {פ} ׀ לַיהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֑֗יךָ לֹֽ֣א־תַעֲשֶׂ֣֨ה כׇל־מְלָאכָ֜֡ה אַתָּ֣ה (טו) וְכׇל־הָעָם֩ רֹאִ֨ים אֶת־הַקּוֹלֹ֜ת וְאֶת־הַלַּפִּידִ֗ם וְאֵת֙ ק֣וֹל הַשֹּׁפָ֔ר וְאֶת־הָהָ֖ר עָשֵׁ֑ן וַיַּ֤רְא הָעָם֙ וַיָּנֻ֔עוּ וַיַּֽעַמְד֖וּ מֵֽרָחֹֽק׃ (טז) וַיֹּֽאמְרוּ֙ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה דַּבֵּר־אַתָּ֥ה עִמָּ֖נוּ וְנִשְׁמָ֑עָה וְאַל־יְדַבֵּ֥ר עִמָּ֛נוּ אֱלֹהִ֖ים פֶּן־נָמֽוּת׃ (יז) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֣ה אֶל־הָעָם֮ אַל־תִּירָ֒אוּ֒ כִּ֗י לְבַֽעֲבוּר֙ נַסּ֣וֹת אֶתְכֶ֔ם בָּ֖א הָאֱלֹהִ֑ים וּבַעֲב֗וּר תִּהְיֶ֧ה יִרְאָת֛וֹ עַל־פְּנֵיכֶ֖ם לְבִלְתִּ֥י תֶחֱטָֽאוּ׃ (יח) וַיַּעֲמֹ֥ד הָעָ֖ם מֵרָחֹ֑ק וּמֹשֶׁה֙ נִגַּ֣שׁ אֶל־הָֽעֲרָפֶ֔ל אֲשֶׁר־שָׁ֖ם הָאֱלֹהִֽים׃ {ס} (יט) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יְהֹוָה֙ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה כֹּ֥ה תֹאמַ֖ר אֶל־בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל אַתֶּ֣ם רְאִיתֶ֔ם כִּ֚י מִן־הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם דִּבַּ֖רְתִּי עִמָּכֶֽם׃ (כ) לֹ֥א תַעֲשׂ֖וּן אִתִּ֑י אֱלֹ֤הֵי כֶ֙סֶף֙ וֵאלֹהֵ֣י זָהָ֔ב לֹ֥א תַעֲשׂ֖וּ לָכֶֽם׃ (כא) מִזְבַּ֣ח אֲדָמָה֮ תַּעֲשֶׂה־לִּי֒ וְזָבַחְתָּ֣ עָלָ֗יו אֶת־עֹלֹתֶ֙יךָ֙ וְאֶת־שְׁלָמֶ֔יךָ אֶת־צֹֽאנְךָ֖ וְאֶת־בְּקָרֶ֑ךָ בְּכׇל־הַמָּקוֹם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אַזְכִּ֣יר אֶת־שְׁמִ֔י אָב֥וֹא אֵלֶ֖יךָ וּבֵרַכְתִּֽיךָ׃ (כב) וְאִם־מִזְבַּ֤ח אֲבָנִים֙ תַּֽעֲשֶׂה־לִּ֔י לֹֽא־תִבְנֶ֥ה אֶתְהֶ֖ן גָּזִ֑ית כִּ֧י חַרְבְּךָ֛ הֵנַ֥פְתָּ עָלֶ֖יהָ וַתְּחַֽלְלֶֽהָ׃ (כג) וְלֹֽא־תַעֲלֶ֥ה בְמַעֲלֹ֖ת עַֽל־מִזְבְּחִ֑י אֲשֶׁ֛ר לֹֽא־תִגָּלֶ֥ה עֶרְוָתְךָ֖ עָלָֽיו׃ {פ} ׀ וּבִנְךָ֣͏ֽ־וּ֠בִתֶּ֗ךָ עַבְדְּךָ֤֨ וַאֲמָֽתְךָ֜֙ וּבְהֶמְתֶּ֔֗ךָ וְגֵרְךָ֖֙ אֲשֶׁ֥֣ר בִּשְׁעָרֶֽ֔יךָ׃ ׀ מִמַּ֔֡עַל וַֽאֲשֶׁ֥ר֩ בָּאָ֖֨רֶץ מִתָּ֑֜͏ַחַת וַאֲשֶׁ֥ר בַּמַּ֖֣יִם  ׀ מִתַּ֥֣חַת לָאָֽ֗רֶץ׃

The L said to Moses: (1) God spoke all these words, saying: (2) I the L(3) You shall have no other gods besides Me. (4) You shall not make for yourself a sculptured image, or any likeness of what is in the heavens above, or on the earth below, or in the waters under the earth. (5) You shall not bow down to them or serve them. For I the L(6) but showing kindness to the thousandth generation of those who love Me and keep My commandments. (7) You shall not swear falsely by(8) Remember the sabbath day and keep it holy. (9) Six days you shall labor and do all your work, (10) but the seventh day is a sabbath of the L(11) For in six days the L(12) Honor your father and your mother, that you may long endure on the land that the L(13) You shall not murder.(14) You shall not covet your neighbor's house: you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male or female slave, or his ox or his ass, or anything that is your neighbor's. (15) All the people witnessed the thunder and lightning, the blare of the horn and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it, they fell back and stood at a distance. (16) "You speak to us," they said to Moses, "and we will obey; but let not God speak to us, lest we die." (17) Moses answered the people, "Be not afraid; for God has come only in order to test you, and in order that the fear of Him may be ever with you, so that you do not go astray." (18) So the people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick cloud where God was.
Thus shall you say to the Israelites: You yourselves saw that I spoke to you from the very heavens:(20) With Me, therefore, you shall not make any gods of silver, nor shall you make for yourselves any gods of gold.
You shall not commit adultery.(22) And if you make for Me an altar of stones, do not build it of hewn stones; for by wielding your tool upon them you have profaned them. (23) Do not ascend My altar by steps, that your nakedness may not be exposed upon it.
You shall not steal.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. ORD your God is assigning to you. ORD made heaven and earth and sea, and all that is in them, and He rested on the seventh day; therefore the L ORD blessed the sabbath day and hallowed it. ORD your God: you shall not do any work-you, your son or daughter, your male or female slave, or your cattle, or the stranger who is within your settlements. -b the name of the L ORD your God; for the L ORD will not clear one who swears falsely by His name. ORD your God am an impassioned God, visiting the guilt of the parents upon the children, upon the third and upon the fourth generations of those who reject Me, ORD am your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, the house of bondage: Make for Me an altar of earth and sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and your sacrifices of well-being, your sheep and your oxen; in every place where I cause My name to be mentioned I will come to you and bless you.

Source Sheet created on Sefaria by דף מקורות זה נוצר בספריא על ידי Ami Weintraub

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Rabbi Isaac Luria of Safed, known as the Ari, believed that trees were resting places

for souls, and performed a tree ritual in the month of Nisan, when trees are budding.

He felt that this was the right time to participate in the rescue of wandering spirits,

incarnated in lower life forms. The Ari often took his students out into nature to teach

them there. On one such occasion, upon raising his eyes, he saw all the trees peopled

with countless spirits, and he asked them, “Why have you gathered here?” They replied,

“We did not repent during our lifetime. We have heard about you, that you can

heal and mend us.” And the Ari promised to help them. The disciples saw him in

conversation, but they were not aware of with whom he conversed. Later they asked

him about it, and he replied, “If you had been able to see them, you would have been

shocked to see the crowds of spirits in the trees.”

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199. TREE OF SOULS
God has a tree of flowering souls in Paradise. The angel who sits beneath it is the Guardian

of Paradise, and the tree is surrounded by the four winds of the world. From this tree

blossom forth all souls, as it is said, "I am like a cypress tree in bloom; your fruit issues forth

ones whose names are inscribed there. When the souls grow ripe, they descend into the

Treasury of Souls, where they are stored until they are called upon to be born. From this

we learn that all souls are the fruit of the Holy One, blessed be He.

when the last soul descends, the world as we know it will come to an end.

heaven. This myth provides the heavenly origin of souls, and in itself fuses many traditions.

First, it develops themes based on the biblical account of the Garden of Eden. It

also builds on the tradition that just as there is an earthly Garden of Eden, so is there a

heavenly one, as expressed in the principle, "as above, so below." Just as there is a Tree

of Life in the earthly garden, so there is a Tree of Life in the heavenly one.

Had Adam and Eve tasted the fruit of the earthly Tree of Life, they would have been

immortal. But once they had tasted the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, immortality was

closed to them. Therefore He drove the man out, and stationed east of the garden of Eden the

There the soul is stored until the angel Gabriel reaches into the treasury and takes out

the first soul that comes into his hand. After that, Lailah, the Angel of Conception,

guards over the embryo until it is born. Thus the Tree of Life in Paradise is a Tree of

Souls. See "The Treasury of Souls," p. 166. For an alternate myth about the origin of

souls, see "The Creation of Souls," p. 163. For the myth of the formation of the embryo

see "The Angel of Conception," p. 201.

for souls, and performed a tree ritual in the month of Nisan, when trees are budding.

He felt that this was the right time to participate in the rescue of wandering spirits,

incarnated in lower life forms. The Ari often took his students out into nature to teach

them there. On one such occasion, upon raising his eyes, he saw all the trees peopled

with countless spirits, and he asked them, "Why have you gathered here?" They replied,

"We did not repent during our lifetime. We have heard about you, that you can

heal and mend us." And the Ari promised to help them. The disciples saw him in

conversation, but they were not aware of with whom he conversed. Later they asked

him about it, and he replied, "If you had been able to see them, you would have been

shocked to see the crowds of spirits in the trees."

It is possible that de Leon symbolically identified the Tree of Souls with the kabbalistic

forth souls. (See also the diagram of the sefirot on p. 529.)

take shelter in trees, but there is also the belief that trees have souls. This is indicated

in a story about Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav found in Sihot Moharan 535 in

grew dark they came to an inn, where they spent the night. During the night Rabbi

Nachman began to cry out loudly in his sleep, waking up everyone in the inn, all of

whom came running to see what had happened. When he awoke, the first thing Rabbi

Nachman did was to take out a book he had brought with him.Then he closed his eyes

and opened the book and pointed to a passage. And there it was written "Cutting

down a tree before its time is the same as killing a soul." Then Rabbi Nachman asked

the innkeeper if the walls of that inn had been built out of saplings cut down before

their time. The innkeeper admitted that this was true, but how did the rabbi know?

And Rabbi Nachman said: "All night I dreamed I was surrounded by the bodies of

those who had been murdered. I was very frightened. Now I know that it was the

souls of the trees that cried out to me."
240. THE ANGEL OF CONCEPTION
Among the angels there is one who serves as the midwife of souls. This is Lailah, the Angel

of Conception. When the time has come for a man and his wife to conceive a child, God

directs Lailah to seek out a certain soul hidden in the Garden of Eden, and command it to

enter a drop of semen. At first the soul refuses, for it still remembers the pain of being born,

and it prefers to remain pure. But Lailah compels the soul to obey, and that is when God

decrees what the fate of that sperm will be, whether male or female, strong or weak, rich or

poor, and so on. Then the angel turns around and places the soul in the womb of the mother.

unborn infant, so he can see from one end of the world to the other, as it is said,

Lailah watches over the unborn infant, teaching him the entire Torah as well as the history

of his soul. During this time, the evil inclination has no power over him. And before he is

born, he is given an oath to keep his soul pure, lest God take it back from him. Then Lailah

leads the child into the Garden of Eden, and shows him the righteous ones with crowns on

their heads. So too does Lailah lead the child to the netherworld and show him the punishments

of Gehenna. But when the time has come to be born, the angel extinguishes the

lamp, and brings forth the child into the world. The instant the child emerges, Lailah lightly

strikes the newborn above the lip, causing it to cry out. And at that instant the infant forgets

all it has learned. That is the origin of the mark on the upper lip, which everyone bears.

when the time has come to take leave of this world, it is Lailah who comes to him and

says, "Do you not recognize me? The time of your departure has come. I have come to

take you from this world." Thereupon Lailah leads him to the World to Come, where he

renders an accounting before God, and he is judged according to his merits.

drawn from on high and sent to this world reluctantly. Such a myth affirms the rabbinic

belief in the essential purity of the human soul, which is subjected to the power

says: "Know where you came from, where you are going, and before whom you will

in the future have to give account and reckoning. Where you came from-from a fetid

drop; where you are going-to a place of dust, worms and maggots; and before whom

you will in the future have to give account and reckoning-before God, the Supreme

King of kings."

According to Rabbi Meir ibn Gabbai in Avodat ha-Kodesh , "Before a soul descends

to this world, it recognizes the Oneness of God and grasps the secrets of the Torah."

He links this intrinsic knowledge of the soul with the verse Open my eyes that I may

apprended before the child was born.

Although angels are generally regarded as sexless, and some rabbinic sources say

they do not procreate, almost all of them bear male names such as Michael or Gabriel

masculine. However, there is one angel, the angel Lailah, who has distinctly feminine

characteristics. This angel is responsible for the fetus, for assisting at birth, and for

guiding the soul from this world to the next. In many ways Lailah is the polar opposite

of Lilith, who wastes seed, is not maternal, and is bent on destruction, not creation.

the name of this angel does not end in the usual "el," representing God's Name. Thus,

even though there is no direct evidence that Lailah is a feminine angel, the name Lailah

and the role of the angel strongly indicate feminine characteristics.

where conception is described as taking place at night. There the name of the angel in

and the role of Lailah. It explains that a light shining above the unborn infant's head lets

the child see from one end of the world to the other. At the same time, the angel teaches

the unborn child the Torah. But as soon as the child is born, the angel strikes it on the

upper lip, causing the infant to forget all he has learned. The full myth of Lailah and the

of guardian angels in Judaism, see "Guardian Angels," p. 202.

soul into a person at conception, much as He did with Adam, when He blew into his

alternate explanation for the version portrayed in the myth of Lailah, where the angel

orders the soul to enter the seed.

4d-5c; IFA 4722, 18976.

Legends of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg, note 20, vol. 5, pp. 75-78.
243. THE ANGEL OF FRIENDSHIP
Everyone has a light burning for him in the world above, and everyone's light is unique.

When two friends meet, their lights above are united, and out of that union of two lights an

angel is born. That angel has the strength to survive for only one year, unless its life is renewed

when the friends meet again. But if they are separated for more than year, the angel

begins to languish and eventually wastes away. That is why a blessing over the dead is made

upon meeting a friend who has not been seen for more than a year, to revive the angel.

other for a year say the blessing: "Blessed is He who revives the dead." The explanation

for this strange blessing is that an angel comes into existence when two people

become friends, but the angel dies if they go more than a year without meeting. This

tradition about the Angel of Friendship has been attributed to Reb Pinhas of Koretz,

Reb Shmelke of Nicholsberg and Reb Abraham Joshua Heschel of Apta.

Reb Pinhas of Koretz: "Every good deed turns into an angel. But if the deed is imperfect,

so is the angel. Perhaps it will be mute. What a disgrace to be served in Paradise

by such an angel. Or it might have an arm or leg missing. And these imperfections can

only be repaired by the repentance of the one who brought the imperfect angel into

the mystical cosmology of the Ari, where every good deed is said to raise up a fallen

and Hasidic lore. The key passage is Mishneh Avot 4:2: "He who does a

acquires an advocate. He who does a sin acquires an accuser." This notion is further

he writes that "the diligent study of the Law and the performance of the divine commandments

brings about the creation of a new angel." This serves as an explanation

the gaon Rabbi Yehezkel of Prague (1713-1793). He was said to have stated that "The

Note that Reb Pinhas has the angel that comes into being as a result of friendship, or,

by implication, love, function as a symbolic child. This expands the circumstances for

the creation of an angel to include angels created by human interaction.

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199. TREE OF SOULS God has a tree of flowering souls in Paradise. The angel who sits beneath it is the Guardian of Paradise, and the tree is surrounded by the four winds of the world.

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This item is translated by Howard Schwartz and is reprinted with permission from Trees, Earth,and Torah: A Tu B'Shvat Anthology, edited by Ari Elon, Naomi Mara Hyman and Arthur Waskow (

).

Reb Nachman was once traveling with his Hasidim by carriage, and as it grew dark they came to an inn, where they spent the night. During the night Reb Nachman began to cry out loudly in his sleep, waking everyone up in the inn, all of whom came running to see what happened.

When he awoke, the first thing Reb Nachman did was to take out a book he had brought with him. Then he closed his eyes and opened the book and pointed to a passage. And there it was written "Cutting down a tree before its time is like killing a soul."

Then Reb Nachman asked the innkeeper if the walls of that inn had been built out of saplings cut down before their time. The innkeeper admitted that this was true, but how did the rabbi know?

Reb Nachman said: "All night I dreamed I was surrounded by the bodies of those who had been murdered. I was very frightened. Now I know that it was the souls of the trees that cried out to me."

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The Souls of Trees in Judaism - My Jewish Learning

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This item is translated by Howard Schwartz and is reprinted with permission from Trees, Earth,and Torah: A Tu B'Shvat Anthology, edited by Ari Elon, Naomi Mara Hyman and Arthur Waskow ( ). Reb Nachman was once traveling with his Hasidim by carriage, and as it grew dark they came to an inn, where they spent the night.

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Topic: being tied to place; article: Being part of Judaism here in Pgh 

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Topic: being tied to place; article: Being part of Judaism here in Pgh 

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https://www.publicsource.org/pittsburgh-faith-race-place-jewish-life-centered-in-squirrel-hill/

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The history of Pittsburgh Judaism is often told as a line between two points: Pittsburgh Jews started off in the late 1800s in the Hill District - a center of industry that was conveniently close to the train station for arriving immigrants - and, by the 1950s, they ended up in Squirrel Hill.

For Eric Lidji, director of the Rauh Jewish History Program & Archives at the Heinz History Center, that left a lot of unanswered questions:

Why did the first person leave? Did they feel disconnected from their community? What did the move mean for Orthodox Jews, who, for religious reasons, must walk to their synagogues?

As an archivist, Lidji began searching historical documents - newspapers, statistical reports, congregational records and family holdings - for answers. He spoke with PublicSource about a key missing piece of the puzzle and how it has shaped the character of Squirrel Hill and Pittsburgh Judaism ever since.

This interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.

Q: You've said Pittsburgh Jewish history is often oversimplified. What's something that gets left out?

A: The geographic diversity is something that I don't feel like people fully embrace. [In the early 1900s], Pittsburgh was the most regionally diverse Jewish population in the country.

The Hill District is a rare Jewish neighborhood, so it often draws the focus away. But you can't understand the Jewish experience in Pittsburgh in the 20th century unless you're looking regionally, looking at the full Western Pennsylvania experience.

Just one statistic that I think highlights that: In 1937, if you look at the Jewish population of Northeast Ohio around Cleveland, Cleveland accounts for about 90% of the Jewish population in that region. So 90% of the Jews live in Cleveland; 10% live in small towns around Cleveland.

In Pittsburgh, it's closer to 60 - 60% of the Jews live in Pittsburgh, and 40% live outside. The fact that so many people are in different places, it just naturally has an impact on everything: on how money is spent, on how families are spread out, on how business is conducted, on how philanthropy is conducted.

Q: You mentioned the "Hill to Hill" story of Pittsburgh Judaism. Is that a myth? Where did that narrative come from?

A: It's not like the story is wrong. More or less, the center of Jewish Pittsburgh did move from the Hill District to Squirrel Hill. But to say that 20,000 people upped and moved to a new neighborhood is not how it happened.

It's more like the 1920s was this period where Jews were living in an incredibly diverse geographic area. It covered all of Pittsburgh and all of Allegheny County and all of Western Pennsylvania.

You have congregations in the Strip District, in Lawrenceville, in Homewood, in Hazelwood, on the North Side. There's a budding South Side community. By the 1920s, there were 15 or 16 different neighborhoods with congregations in Pittsburgh. Every part of Pittsburgh had a Jewish community in it - with an institution, not just people.

Squirrel Hill ended that. Over a period of maybe 10 or 15 years, many of those small neighborhood congregations consolidated into Squirrel Hill.

It may be that all those Hill District people eventually end up in Squirrel Hill. But, in the interim, it was a very dynamic period, where you see people living their communal lives in three or four neighborhoods simultaneously, where the center of gravity has not been fixed yet. It's not really until the '40s that it starts to lock in to what it became.

Q: How did the geographic diversity of Jews in the 1920s shape Pittsburgh Judaism going forward?

A: I think that part of the reason Squirrel Hill is the way it is, is because of that regional focus.

If you have one big congregation, it's the same 100 people that have to be involved. If you have 100 congregations, like in Western Pennsylvania, there's more people who understand the mechanics of what it takes to keep a community going.

A lot of the energy of Squirrel Hill throughout the '50s, '60s, '70s and '80s comes from the fact that people who grew up in these smaller places came and brought that knowledge with them. You get an incredible density of people who understand what it takes to keep a community going.

Another thing, and this is starting to disappear a little bit, is that you had families that would spread out across the region. It makes sense. Somebody emigrates, they start a business, they have four children, the business cannot support four children, so the father and the mother give each of them enough to kind of go to another town and start the same business.

As the consolidation happens, you get this interesting thing where families have a lot of different religious observances, a lot of different ideas about Judaism.

And there's a kind of moderating impulse to it. Like, if you and I weren't related, I may never have a reason to talk to you. And I may therefore never have a reason to know anything about your congregation.

But because we are related, I do know about you. And I do know about your congregation. And even though it's not mine, I'm sort of forced to accept it at some level.

The reason the community was able to come together the way it did after Tree of Life was because of those personal family connections. They were able to hop across boundaries in a way that other communities would not be able to do.
Chris Hedlin is PublicSource's faith and religion reporter. She can be reached at chris@publicsource.org or on Twitter @ChristineHedlin.
This story was fact-checked by Sophia Levin.

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How did Jewish life in Pittsburgh end up centered in Squirrel Hill?

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The history of Pittsburgh Judaism is often told as a line between two points: Pittsburgh Jews started off in the late 1800s in the Hill District - a center of industry that was conveniently close to the train station for arriving immigrants - and, by the 1950s, they ended up in Squirrel Hill.

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Summary of Chofetz Chaim, though lacks the nuance of the full thing

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Summary of Chofetz Chaim, though lacks the nuance of the full thing

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https://torah.org/learning/halashon-intrcomm/

Lashon Hara – any derogatory or damaging (physically, financially, socially, or stress-inducing) communication.

Rechilut – any communication that generates animosity between people.

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The Chafetz Chaim lists 31 mitzvot which may be violated when a person speaks or listens to Lashon Hara. This is a staggering number. Even though one does not generally violate them all in one shot, it is important to remember how carelessness can lead one into deeper trouble.

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The related terms “hotzaat shem ra”/“hotzaat diba”,[1] “motzi shem ra”,[2] and “rekhilut”[3] all redirect here.

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Collection of relevant stuff -- click on a thing to get more context about where it's from (like the Leviticus stuff)

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Leviticus -- what this stuff is based on

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Do not aOthers "go about as a talebearer among"; meaning of Heb. uncertain.deal basely with-a your countrymen. Do not bLit. "stand upon"; precise meaning of...

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The Chofetz Chaim ("Desirer of Life," a reference to Psalms 34:19) is the first legal work that comprehensively organizes the laws of proper speech, authored in the 20th century by Rabbi Yisrael Meir HaKohen Kagan (who later became known as "The Chofetz Chaim").

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Rachel (organizer w/ Open Hillel, SEIU) writes about how gossip is feminized. Also...the political implications: "Authority figures try to silence gossip because they know how powerful it can be. So it’s on us to fight back: to continue to talk about injustice, to build relationships with one another, to keep each other safe, and to organize together."

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In Defense of Lashon Hara: Why Gossip Is a Feminist Imperative

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In 1873, my great-great-great grandfather, Rabbi Yisroel Meir Kagan, wrote a book on the biblical laws prohibiting lashon hara—gossip and slander. The book was called Chofetz Chaim, “Seeker of Life…

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Landsmanshaftn What is a Landsmanshaft? A landsmanshaft (also landsmanschaft; plural: landsmanshaftn or landsmanshaften) was a Jewish benefit society, or hometown society composed of immigrants from the same town or region (landsleit in Yiddish). Landsmanshaftn could also be based on a common political affiliation, such as the Workmen's Circle/Arbeiter Ring (socialists), the International Workers Order (communists), or the Farband (labor Zionists). These organizations were established during the great migration of eastern European Jews to the United States, from the 1880s to the 1920s. Unable to speak English, they often had great difficulty adjusting to their new lives in their newly adopted countries. The landsmanshaft functioned as a social support group, providing sick benefits, burial plots, free loans and sometimes employment in an era before there was any kind of societal safety net. Landsmanshaftn encompassed the Jewish burial societies, known as independent societies. These aid organizations were established to deal with social, economic, and cultural uncertainties, and provided a social framework for mutual aid and assistance. In the early 1900s there were thousands of landsmanshaftn in the New York City area alone and perhaps twenty thousand in the northeastern and upper midwestern United States. They operated burial plots in scores of cemeteries, but few if any are active today. Over time, the landsmanshaft lost its members through attrition and death. The children of the immigrant generation, successful and fully integrated into the host culture, no longer needed the support of the landsmanshaft. One by one they withered and died, until today the landsmanshaft is just a faded memory. References Glenda Rubin, Ada Green, -- chevra kadisha, and in some instances split off from them to form Weisser, Michael R., A Brotherhood of Memory: Jewish Landsmanshaftn in the New World, Cornell University Press, 1985, ISBN 0-8014- 9676-4 Aniksht Landsmanshaftn New York City - Anikster Benevolent Pischei Tshuvo Association, Inc. Established in 1939 upon the consolidation of Congregation Bnai Pischei Tshuvo Anshei Aniksty and the Anikster Benevolent Association. The congregation was established in 1887 for the purposes of study, to provide cemetery plots, free loans for members, and to aid rabbis and talmud torah in Anyksciai. It maintained a synagogue at 135 Henry Street, New York City. The Anikster Benevolent Association was organized in 1898. Following consolidation, the Anikster Benevolent Pischei Tshuvo Association managed the synagogue. The building was sold in 1965 and the Association dissolved in 1976. [Source: From Alexandrovsk to Zyrardow, A Guide to YIVO's Landsmanshaftn Archive, by Rosaline Schwartz and Susan Milamed, YIVO Institute for Jewish Research, New York, 1986, p. 2.] Chelsea, Massachusetts - The United Brothers of Onikchty Society founded August 14, 1905 * chartered May 1, 1916 * disbanded December 2, 1984 (From an article appearing in Shtetl Anthology, Our Family History Newsletter, Summer 2000, p. 14, privately published.) Harry Pinkovitz, the last president of the Chelsea, Massachusetts Onikchty Society,was born in Pohost, Luninetz, Russia, circa 1903. He came to America in the 1920s and settled in Chelsea. During his long tenure as president, his tireless efforts to ensure the upkeep and dignity of the Onikchty Society Cemetery in Melrose, Massachusetts led to the establishment of the Jewish Cemetery Association of Landsmanschaft Immigrant Benevolent Organizations Massachusetts, his lasting legacy. In December 1986, Harry wrote to Lewis Chilton in response to an inquiry about the Onikchty Society. New York Landsmanshaftn and Other Jewish Organizations Written entirely in Yiddish, his letter is translated below. Harry died at the Chelsea Jewish Nursing Home in 1989 and is at rest with his wife Eva in the Onikchty Society Cemetery. In 1900, the harsh conditions that were imposed upon the Jews of Onikchty and elsewhere in Lithuania by Russian Czar Nicholai forced many to flee their homes. Unable to speak the language of the new land, these newest residents of Chelsea, Massachusetts clung to each other for mutual comfort and support, and to kibitz in Yiddish, their native tongue. In 1905, the Anikshters, as they called themselves, established their own landsmanshaft, the Onikchty Society. The first meetings were held in the home of Philip Widetsky (pronounced Vitzetsky), the Society's first president. Members of that first committee were Widetsky, Morris Bork, David Geltzner, Velvel Gordon, Louie Gorin, Zelig Glick, Jake Hillel, Morris Zimbat, Nathan Taylor, Louis Levine, Phillip Mattis, Harry Mirovitz, Barnett Portnoy, Sam Hall, David Plotnick, Julius Kopans, Sam Ringer, Abraham Rosen, Hillel Solomon (or Solomon Schneider), Barnett Shapiro, Shimon Smot and [two others whose names were untranslatable]. The Onikchty Society was created to help its members during times of sickness and death. Husbands were entitled to eight weeks of sick benefits at five dollars per week and a death benefit to the family of two hundred dollars. Membership was open to those between eighteen and forty-two years of age. Dues were thirty-five cents per month for men and five cents per month for women. Women did not receive sick benefits. Meetings were held twice monthly. In 1923, the Onikchty Society purchased land for a cemetery in Melrose, Massachusetts and, later, a three story building at 27 Crescent Avenue in Chelsea. In 1966, the building was sold to the Combined Jewish Philanthropies (CJP) for $20,000 where, today, seniors can come for a kosher meal [no longer true]. The membership dwindled and I as president decided that something had to be done to prevent our cemetery from becoming abandoned. With the help of the United Synagogue Council, through Allen Teperoff, B'nai Brith, the Jewish Congress and CJP, we established the Jewish Cemetery Association of Massachusetts (JCAM) in 1984. We have come a long way. On December 2, 1984, after paying out death benefits to our remaining members and taking care of the graves, we distributed the remaining funds of the Onikchty Society to Yiddishe organizations. Accompanying Harry's letter was a copy of the press release announcing the dissolution of the Onikchty Society. Onikchty Society Closes its Doors On December 2, 1984, over one hundred people attended a ceremony and brunch at the Shurtleff Street Synagogue to mark the end of an era - the end of one of Chelsea's oldest organizations, the Onikchty Society. President Harry Pinkovitz served as chairman, as Dr. Israel M. Kamens and his family were honored for their philanthropic work with the organization and in the Jewish community. At its height, the Onikchty Society had over eight hundred members and purchased the Onikchty Building. The building was built in 1937 at 27 Crescent Avenue and is presently known as the Butler Building. It was turned over to the CJP in 1966. The Onikchty Society joined the JCAM, founded and organized by Harry Pinkovitz, and turned over its cemetery in Melrose to the newly formed organization to insure its proper care. President Bruce Schlossberg of the newly organized JCAM recognized Pinkovitz' leadership by acknowledging that without him there would not have been adequate protection or care for the Jewish cemeteries. In his speech, Pinkovitz emphasized that cemeteries must not be allowed to become abandoned. They are holy, the final home, and must be given constant attention and care to uphold the dignity and tradition of the Jewish faith. The affair concluded with the presentation of checks to the following organizations: Jewish Cemetery Association of Massachusetts Jewish Cemetery Association of Massachusetts $30,000 State of Israel $10,500 Combined Jewish Philanthropies $ 5,500 Maimonides Day School $ 1,500 Lubavicher Day School $ 1,500 Solomon Schechter Day School $ 1,500 Jewish Nursing Home $ 8,500 Hadassah $ 2,500 New England Sinai Hospital $ 2,000 The Hebrew Rehabilitation Center $ 2,000 Hebrew College $ 1,000 The Rofer $ 2,200 Pioneer Women $ 2,500 Synagogue Council of Massachusetts $ 2,500 Jewish Community Council of Boston $ 2,500 Jewish Memorial Hospital $ 2,500 Shurtleff Street Synagogue $ 1,000 Temple Emanuel of Chelsea $ 1,000 Mr. Pinkovitz thanked Mr. Fox and Vice-President Louis Goulkin of the synagogue and the people who made the affair a success. Seated at the head table were Rabbi Hirsh Tennenbaum and his wife, Mr. and Mrs. Julius Randall, Samuel Podradchick, Dr. and Mrs. Israel Kamens, Bruce Schlossberg and representatives of the State of Israel and CJP. A delicious lunch was served by Mr. Pinkovitz. United Brothers of Onikchty Society - Cumulative List of Members During my years of genealogical research, which included written correspondence and visits to Chelsea, Massachusetts and to the United Brothers of Onikchty Society Cemetery in Melrose, Massachusetts, I accumulated a number of names of past members, which includes some of my own relatives. At its height, the Onikchty Society boasted a membership exceeding 800, so over its nearly 80 years, it's cumulative membership must have been in the thousands. But as the social and economic need for the Society diminished, its membership dwindled until very few were left at the time of its dissolution in 1984. Not long after its formation in 1905, the Society began accepting members with no ties to Aniksht, or even Lithuania. The realities of maintaining a viable membership and staying financially solvent required the relaxation of membership rules. Consequently, a list of members does not imply that they were all from Aniksht. contact me to provide a little background information about that person. If your ancestor or relative is not on the list but should be, please contact me and I will add his/her name. This is an ongoing project. Chicago, Illinois - Anikst Aid Society Officers for 1939: Mrs. Harry White, Honorary President; D.S. Levin; President; Mrs. D. Kaplan, Vice-President; Mrs. Ralph Kolan, Treasurer; Mrs. J. Jaffe, Secretary. The contact person in 1993 was Marvin (or Zelda) Margolis, Wilmette, IL No further information. [Source: Bridges to an American City, A Guide to Chicago's Landsmanshaften, 1870 to 1990, by Sidney Sorkin, Peter Lang [Publisher], New York, 1993, p. 7.] Other Aniksht Landsmanshaftn? In my years of researching Aniksht, I have not come upon any other references to other Aniksht landsmanshaftn, but I am certain that there were others in the larger cities and towns of North and South America, South Africa, Australia and Israel. If you know of one and can supply any information about it, no matter how little, please contact the writer. This is an ongoing project. Click here to view the list. If you spot an ancestor, relative or someone you know about, please L. Chilton L. Chilton Landsmanshaftn

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anikster benevolent pischei tshuvo association

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jewish cemetery association of massachusetts

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Landsmanshaftn What is a Landsmanshaft? A landsmanshaft (also landsmanschaft; plural: landsmanshaftn or landsmanshaften) was a Jewish benefit society, or hometown society composed of immigrants from the same town or region (landsleit in Yiddish). Landsmanshaftn could also be based on a common political affiliation, such as the Workmen's Circle/Arbeiter Ring (socialists), the International Workers Order (communists), or the Farband (labor Zionists).

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Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.

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Today, for the first time in history, Queer Jews are learning Talmud as Queer Jews and seeing in it things that our teachers never taught us.

Annamarie Jagose, Queer Theory: an Introduction (1996), pg. 3

"While there is no critical concensus on the definitional limits of queer--indeterminacy being one of its widely promoted charms--its general outlines are frequently sketched and debated. Broadly speaking, queer describes those gestures or analytical models which dramatise incoherencies in the allegedly stable relations between chromosomal sex, gender and desire . . . Demonstrating the impossibility of any 'natural' sexuality, it calls into question even such apparently unproblematic terms as 'man' and 'woman'.

אנדרוגינוס יש בו דרכים שוה לאנשים ויש בו דרכים שוה לנשים ויש בו דרכים שוה לאנשים ונשים ויש בו דרכים אינו שוה לא לאנשים ולא לנשים: רבי מאיר אומר אנדרוגינוס בריה בפני עצמה הוא ולא יכלו חכמים להכריע עליו אם הוא איש או אשה אבל טומטום אינו כן פעמים שהוא איש פעמים שהוא אשה

An Androginus (a hermaphrodite, who has both recognizable penis/testicles and vagina) there are in him manners equivalent to men, there are in her manners equivalent to women, there are in hir manners equivalent to men and women, and there are in zir manners equivalent to neither men nor women.

Rabbi Meir says, androgynos, he is a creation in her own image and he sages could not determine if angdrogynos is male or female, but tumtum is not so for he is sometimes male and sometimes female.

CharlotteElishevaFonrobert, Gender Identity In Halakhic Discourse, Jewish Women's Archive
As a figure of thought the halakhic androgynos may appear to be the result of adding or subtracting the laws applying to men and women, based on his or her dual sex. However, the rabbinic texts do indicate the relative weight of both sexes. In the end, the combination of both primary sexual organs in one body does not allow for either hybridity or choice. Indeed, in the project of integrating the doubly-sexed body into the binary halakhic system, the presence of the male organ has greater signifying force than the female organ. Thus, the androgynos must dress like a man (Tosefta Bikkurim 2:5, Mishnah Bikkurim 2:2) but, most significantly, he may take a wife, but cannot be taken as a wife (Mishnah Yevamot 8:6, Tosefta Bikkurim 2:4/Mishnah Bikkurim4:2; Levinson, 127), just as he is subject to the laws of leviratemarriage as a man but not as a woman. A minority opinion in the Mishnah to the effect that sexual relations between a man and an androgynos should be punished by stoning is glossed in the Tosefta by restricting it to a sexual act in "the way of masculinity" (derekh zakhrut, see section 1.1). While this discussion indicates that the presence of a male organ is not necessarily entirely determinative of the maleness of the androgynos, since vaginal intercourse with him can be considered to be permissible, it also reveals the anxiety driving the halakhic consideration of marriage or sexual relations with an androgynos as being about potential male penetration (Satlow, 18; Boyarin 1995, 347) . . .

In sum, even though the rabbinic semiotics of the body open the gate towards a remarkable self-consciousness about the potential ambiguity of its signs, the same system manages to maintain its fundamental gender binarism in Jewish law.

Noach Dzmura, An Ancient Strategy for Managing Gender Ambiguity, From, "Balancing on the Mechitza: Transgender in Jewish community"

1) Ambiguity or indeterminacy can serve as a valid category of recognition, a "third space," in the context of a binary norm...all possible positions within a common set are equally likely, equally true. Rather than certainty, this category of recognition is characterized by doubt. In other words, like Schroedinger's cat, which is both dead and alive until such time as an observation is made, the Mishnaic hermaphrodite is single sexed and double sexed and neither sexed all at the same time---at least until the law requires a movement towards one state or another.

2) The category of third space embraces each pole of the normative binary and recognizes a space beyond it. A common set of options coexist within this third space, from which situational or relative truths may be extracted. These situationally applied truths do not invalidate the third spaces overarching ambiguity. Rather, the situation-specific truths (certainties, like "male," "female," "both," or "neither") exist for a brief time in a longer term container of indeterminacy (an uncertainty that contains "male," "female," "both," and "neither").

3) In order to collectively recognize an ambiguous or indeterminate third space alongside a recognized binary requires training (in the form of a statement of identity followed by reinforcement by another member of the community and renegotiation of terms between community members) about two simultaneous realities: A situational truth plus the recognition of third space as an overarching category. When such reinforcement occurs in Mishnah Androgynos, the Rabbis seem uncharacteristically to be showing us that social role is not the sole determinant of gender; rather, the community participates in constructing the hermaphrodites non-binary gender identity.

Rabbi Elliot Rose Kukla, A Created Being of Its Own: Toward a Jewish Liberation Theology for Men, Women and Everyone Else, Transtorah.org
The first time I met the tumtum I was twenty years old and studying in an orthodox yeshiva . . . As soon as I read this perplexing text I called over my teacher and excitedly asked her: "Who is this tumtum?" "Oh," she answered, "The tumtum is a mythical beast that is neither male nor female - kind of like a unicorn - that our Sages invented in order to explore the limits of the law." Even though I knew next to nothing about Jewish texts and traditions, I had a feeling that my learned teacher might be wrong. I instantly identifi ed with the tumtum. I had spent a lifetime feeling homeless and adrift between the modern categories of "male" and "female." When I met the tumtum I finally came home . . . I still recognize the tumtum whenever we meet in the text and I am still surrounded by voices that deny that the tumtum and I really exist . . .

Judaism speaks in a different voice. Although Jewish Sages often tried to sort the world into binaries, they also acknowledged that not all parts of God's creation can be contained in orderly boxes. Distinctions between Jews and non-Jews; Shabbat and the days of the week; purity and impurity, are crucial to Jewish tradition. However, it was the parts of the universe that defied binaries that interested the rabbis of the Mishna and the Talmud the most. Pages and pages of sacred texts are occupied with the minute details of the moment between fruit and bud, wildness and domestication, innocence and maturity, the twilight hour between day and night. We read in the Babylonian Talmud: "Our sages taught: As to twilight, it is doubtful whether it is part day and part night, or whether all of it is day or all of it is night.... Rabbi Yosi said: Twilight is like the twinkling of an eye as night enters and the day departs, and it is impossible to determine its length." (Shabbat 34b)

Reuben Zellman, a transgender activist and rabbinical student writes: "Twilight cannot be defined; it can only be sanctified and appreciated. People can't always be defined; they can only be seen and respected, and their lives made holy. This Jewish approach allows for genders beyond male and female. It opens space in society. And it protects those who live in the places in between."

Balancing on the Mechitza: Transgender in the Jewish Community, edited by Noach Dzumra

http://archive.qzap.org/index.php/Detail/Object/Show/object_id/408

Max Strassfeld, publishing " Transing the Talmud: Androgynes and Eunuchs in Rabbinic Literature" soon

Noam Sienna, publishing LGBTQ+ Jewish anthology soon

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Androgynos and Tumtum: Reifying or Rejecting Gender Binary? | Sefaria

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Modern Western society assumes sex and gender duality, as well as some level of gender essentialism. In other words, the world is divided into "men" and "women" and men have there ways and women have theirs. As far back as the Mishna, Jewish law has sexed people's bodies in six different categories - man, woman, saris, aylonit, androgynos, and tumtum.

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This is a brief document that gives an overview of how to plan a session for the Beit Midrash

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This is a syllabus from a class I took on Transness in Talmud. It has a bunch of references to transness throughout Talmud and also lists a few books about transness in Judaism. It is a good reference to find source texts on transness in Judaism

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https://www.intimatejudaism.com

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Sex Within Marriage: What's allowed and What's not? Episode 8 December 5, 2018 Podcast Read More Jewish #MeToo: Does Adherence to Jewish Law Provide Safety from Sexual Assault? Episode 7 November 7, 2018 Podcast Read More The Wedding Night Epidsode 6 October 8, 2018 Podcast Read More Bonus Episode - Shomer Negiah: The Listeners Strike...

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*Asexuality 101: We don't need to 'be fruitful and multiply'

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*Asexuality 101: We don't need to 'be fruitful and multiply'

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https://www.sefaria.org/sheets/245069?lang=bi

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Are you sexually attracted to other people? Do you feel the need to make sex a part of your life? Do you have a desire to introduce sexual activities into your relationships? If you answered no to one or more of these questions, you may very well be asexual.

HOW DO I TELL?

Do you find other people sexy-in a way that makes you feel sexual desire or arousal, or a way that makes you think sex or sexual touching with that person would be satisfying (regardless of whether you'd actually do it)? If you don't feel this with anyone, you may be asexual.

Do you develop sexual attraction every once in a while, but don't find its pursuit or satisfaction intrinsically rewarding? Some people would call that asexual.

Do you think having sex (or the idea of having sex) is okay, but not very interesting or important? Could you take it or leave it, and find leaving it more convenient or preferable? Some people would call that asexual.

Do you feel sexual attraction sometimes, but only rarely? You may be graysexual,* and you'll have a lot in common with asexual people if you are.

Do you sometimes develop sexual attraction when you've already developed other important connections with someone, but never feel sexually attracted to strangers, celebrities, or mere acquaintances? You may be demisexual,* and you'll also have a lot in common with asexual people if you are."

compiled by Julie Decker: The Invisible Orientation (2014)
https://time.com/2889469/asexual-orientation/

The society we live in is highly sex focused. Children's stories, high school socials, sex education programs, pop songs and movies, religious life cycles, parents' expectations, advertisements etc all force the idea that we must be sexually attracted to someone and eventually get involved in a sexual relationship. Even with the progress away from the heterosexual norm in some communities, there is still the expectation of sexual attraction. For those that do not experience sexual attraction, this leaves us feeling broken, confused and alone.

When coming out as Ace, instead of being respected for our orientation we'll often be told "oh you'll meet the right person one day", "have you seen a psychiatrist about that?" or "you can't be asexual, only plants are asexual!"

Our society presents sex and sexual attraction as intrinsic parts of being human leaving asexual people vulnerable to extreme dehumanization including having to fake sexual attraction, being coerced into sexual relationships, and surviving corrective rape.

by Jacob ben Asher (1269-1343). The Arba'ah Turim is one of the central Halakhic texts from the medieval period. Its structure was used later by the Shulchan Aruch. Likely written in either Toledo, Castille (Spain) though Jacob was born in Cologne, HRE (Germany). These extracts are from Even haEzer - the laws of marriage and divorce.

"Blessed be the name of the Holy One, blessed is He, who desired goodness for his creations. For He knew that it is not good for man to be alone and therefore He made a fitting helper for him, for the intent of the creation of man is to be fertile and to increase, and this is impossible without a helper. Therefore He commanded him to cling to the helper whom He made for him. Thus every man is obligated to marry a woman in order to be fertile and increase, for anyone who is not involved in reproduction is like
1) one who sheds blood,
2).... And it is as though he is diminishing the [Divine] image,
3).... And he causes the Divine Presence to be removed from Israel.

Rabbi Elazar said, "Anyone who does not have a wife is not a man." ... It is an extremely great commandment, for we only sell a Torah scroll in order to be able to learn Torah and to marry a woman.

When he passes twenty years without marrying, the Holy One, blessed is He, says, "His bones shall swell." My father (Rabbi Asher ben Jehiel) wrote of a single man who has passed twenty years and does not want to marry, that the court forces him to marry so that he may fulfill the commandment of reproduction.

However, one for whom it will be impossible to study should he marry is not obligated to marry by twenty. The words of the Rambam: If he is busy with Torah and is occupied by it, and is afraid to marry because the burden of providing sustenance will distract him from Torah, he may delay, as one who is involved in a mitzvah is exempt from another mitzvah, and all the more so in the study of Torah. One whose soul has constantly desired Torah, such as Ben Azai, and he clung to it all his days and did not marry, he has not sinned as long as his desire does not overcome him.

My father the Rosh says this refers to when it would be impossible for him to study [after marrying]--then he should study and afterward marry. I do not know the extent of this study, but it cannot be that one could abstain from reproduction all his days, for we have not seen such a thing other than Ben Azai, whose soul desired Torah. Therefore, because man consists of male and female, there is a commandment of reproduction.

And even one who has fulfilled his obligation of reproduction is forbidden from remaining without a wife, as Rabbi Nachman said: Even if a man has several children, he is forbidden from remaining without a wife, as it is said, "It is not good for man to be alone."

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Asexuality 101: We don't need to 'Be Fruitful and Multiply' | Sefaria

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Are you sexually attracted to other people? Do you feel the need to make sex a part of your life? Do you have a desire to introduce sexual activities into your relationships? If you answered no to one or more of these questions, you may very well be asexual.

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https://ph.yhb.org.il/en/category/14/14-02/

--> presents sexuality as essential, obligatory. What place does Judaism leave for sexual diversity, including asexuality?

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The mitzva of ona is independent of the mitzva of procreation. It is fulfilled through marital sexual relations even when they cannot lead to pregnancy, such as when the wife is pregnant or nursing, or when she is after menopause (above, 1:4).

The central element of this mitzva is for the husband to bring complete joy to his wife, to the point where her joy and pleasure climax in orgasm. Short of this, their sexual relations may result in frustration, for the lead-up to orgasm builds up physical and psychological tension that is blissfully released upon orgasm. If she does not experience orgasm, her tensions and frustration will generally remain.

The wife has a mitzva to be responsive and to actively participate in the mitzva as best she can, for without her desire and efforts to increase their mutual pleasure, it is impossible to fulfill the mitzva. However, if she is so exhausted or tense that it will be difficult for her to achieve orgasm, she may choose to forgo it and suffice with sexual union that brings sweet pleasure but not complete bliss. This, too, is a fulfillment of the mitzva. Nevertheless, it is best to try to ensure that it does not happen too frequently (see below, section 12 and note 12.)

The more a husband and wife give and receive pleasure at the set times ( onot) of this mitzva, the better. This is also mandated by the mitzva of "love your fellow as yourself" (Vayikra 19:18), which entails a spouse looking out for the good of the other to the best of their ability. Since the greatest physical and emotional pleasure is that shared by husband and wife, if a man deprives his wife of this enjoyable pleasure, he is being oppressive, since there is no other man who can provide her with this joy. Likewise, a woman who deprives her husband of this enjoyable pleasure is being oppressive, since there is no one else in the world who can fill his void.

The mitzva is also called derekh eretz, "the way of the world," since every healthy person yearns for pleasurable sexual union, the greatest palpable physical pleasure that a person can experience in this world. It is thus clear that when the Torah commanded the mitzva of ona, it means reaching orgasm, the peak of pleasure that people yearn for. If a husband or wife does not feel that yearning, they must try to heal themselves, so that their sexual union will be joyful for both of them.

The kabbalists said that one who does not experience sexual longing is worse than a donkey and will never be able to love God ( Reishit Ḥokhma, Sha'ar Ha-ahava, end of ch. 4), for it is only through healthy human nature, itself created by God, that one can progress in one's love for God. Anyone who is detached from the lifegiving impulse is far from faith and sanctity, and cannot act to repair the world.

[1]. The central element of this mitzva is for the woman to reach orgasm, just as the man reaches orgasm when he ejaculates. This is what is meant by the talmudic statement "If the wife brings forth seed first, she will give birth to a male; if the husband brings forth seed first, she will give birth to a female" ( Nidda 31a). The Sages explain that men prolong sexual relations so that their wives will "bring forth seed" - that is, achieve orgasm - first: "They hold themselves back in the womb so that their wives bring forth seed first, so that their children will be male" ( ibid. 31b). Likewise, the Talmud explains ( ibid. 71a) that this is what is meant by the phrase "the reward of progeny (lit. 'fruit of the womb')" (Tehilim 127:3). There are other interpretations of the phrase "brings forth seed," but the interpretation given here is the primary one.

If the woman's ultimate pleasure were not the essence of the mitzva, it would be difficult to understand why the Talmud assumes that the wife of an ordinary laborer would not agree to his making a lifestyle change, even one that would improve their financial situation, if the frequency of her ona would subsequently decrease (see Ketubot 62b and section 7 below). Additionally, if a woman usually derives real pleasure from sexual intimacy but does not reach orgasm, she will remain frustrated afterwards. Where is the joy in that? And if she does not even get this lesser pleasure, then her sexual relations with her husband are joyless; how then can we refer to this mitzva as simḥat ona? Moreover, it is the husband's duty to provide for his wife's needs. Just as he must follow social norms when providing food and clothing, so too for ona. And since orgasm is considered the primary joy of sexual relations, it is, perforce, what the mitzva requires. Not only is it the central element of the mitzva for the husband to pleasure his wife until she has an orgasm, but the more pleasure he brings her at the set times for their sexual relations, the more commendable it is, just as when one welcomes a guest, the tastier and more diverse the offerings and the better he makes the guest feel, the greater his mitzva. Therefore, when the wife is capable of reaching multiple consecutive orgasms, it enhances the mitzva. Nevertheless, couples often to not have the stamina or the desire for more than one orgasm, in which case this enhancement of the mitzva should be reserved for special occasions.

Below, in section 12, we explain that it is possible to fulfill the onot at the be-di'avad level (such as when the woman derives pleasure from intimacy but not true bliss), or under pressing circumstances when there is no pleasure. In any case, as long as the couple remains married, they may not forgo sexual relations without full, mutual consent, since sexual relations are an expression of their marital union and prevent them from sin. We have already seen (1:2) that refusing sexual union is the principal grounds for divorce.

The obligation of ona is incumbent upon the man, as the verse states, "He shall not withhold she'erah, kesutah, or onatah" (Shemot 21:10). Ramban explains that she'erah refers to flesh-to-flesh contact during intimacy, kesutah refers to the bed and bedding used by the couple during intimacy, and onatah as referring to the conjugal act itself ( Ketubot 48a; see above, 1:3). If a husband does not fulfill this mitzva and thereby causes his wife pain, he is in violation of a Torah prohibition (above, 1:2). Of course, if she does not respond joyfully to her husband, the mitzva is worthless; thus, fulfillment of the mitzva depends on both of them. Nevertheless, the primary duty is the man's, just as the mitzva to marry is incumbent upon the man, making him responsible to court his future spouse, gain her consent to marry, and then marry her.

To understand the difference between men and women, it must be made clear that if a man does not verbally articulate his love for his wife and does not increase her pleasure by embracing and caressing her while gradually advancing toward her erogenous zones, it stands to reason that he will not manage to make her climax. One of the wonderful characteristics of women is that spirit, mind, and body are more integrated in them than they are in men. Therefore, under normal circumstances, it is only when all of these elements are brought together in love and pleasure that a woman can reach orgasm. This process is complex and takes time.

In contrast, it is the nature of men to bifurcate different realms. A man can satisfy his physical lust even without an emotional or spiritual connection. This trait can be very valuable when he needs to ignore everything going on around him and focus his energy on a single goal. It is what enables a young man to energetically court his future wife, overcome obstacles, and persist until she agrees to marry him. This is also why it is the man who performs the act of kiddushin that effects their marriage. This trait is also valuable for a soldier in battle.

On the other hand, after achieving his goal of getting married, men can sometimes lose interest in having a wholesome emotional relationship. They were so focused on getting married that they neglected to properly prepare themselves for all the challenges of married life. Because of this, a new husband is commanded not to serve in the army or take business trips during his first year of marriage, as the verse states: "He shall be exempt one year for the sake of his household, to give happiness to the woman he has married" (Devarim 24:5). This allows newlyweds to build a strong foundation for their married life.

Something similar can happen during the buildup to sexual relations. A man might be very passionate beforehand, but as soon as he ejaculates, he is liable to lose interest in his wife. And since men are physiologically capable of reaching the climax of physical pleasure within minutes, without providing their wives with any joy - the mitzva of ona is incumbent upon the man, and its primary element is to bring as much joy and pleasure to his wife as he can. The Sages thus caution: "A husband may not compel his wife to fulfill the mitzva.... Any man who compels his wife to perform this mitzva will have indecent children" ( Eruvin 100b).

Thus, even though marital sexual relations are a mitzva, if their purpose is to satisfy only the man's urges, without him trying to bring his wife pleasure, there is no mitzva. Thus, because of women's nature, the husband has to make sure to express his love for his wife. This will give their sexual union greater depth and wholesomeness.

[2]. According to Rambam (MT, Laws of Marriage 14:8), a beit din compels the husband to divorce his wife, "because she is not like a captive who is forced to have relations with someone she hates. But she leaves without any of her ketuba." According to most poskim, even though he is halakhically required to divorce her, he is not compelled to do so (SA EH 77:2). (Perhaps we may deduce that these poskim are discussing a case where the wife is considered to be at fault in the divorce because after she agreed to marry him she became repulsed by him. He may therefore claim compensation for his suffering before he agrees to divorce her.)

Likewise, when a man does not keep to the frequency required of him, or when he is not willing to please his wife in the accepted ways - for example, if he is not willing to have sexual relations unless he is clothed - the woman can sue for divorce, and her husband is obligated to divorce her and pay the ketuba in full (SA EH 76:13).

Included in the mitzva are embracing, kissing, and caressing anywhere that is pleasurable, and in any way that is enjoyable. The mitzva is to proceed gradually, from areas where touch is pleasant to the erogenous zones, until finally reaching the clitoris, where touch produces the most arousal and pleasure. Every woman should know her body so that, if necessary, she can teach her husband how to bring her pleasure. Since every person is different, part of the mitzva is for the couple to openly discuss what gives them pleasure; the husband should ask his wife how he can increase her joy, and she will respond and open up to him. And having aroused her to a state of intense pleasure, they proceed to the consummation of their sexual union.

For most couples, it is best for the husband to try to enable his wife to reach orgasm before him, for otherwise, there is concern that he will be drained of desire and unable to bring her joy as he should. It should be noted that in the past, apparently, in most circumstances, women could achieve orgasm during coitus itself, whereas nowadays, for various reasons, many women do not reach orgasm during coitus, only through manual stimulation of the clitoris. In that case, this is how to perform the mitzva, and from this they proceed to the consummation of their sexual union.

It has always been a virtue of Torah scholars and Torah-oriented Jews that they bring joy to their wives, as is proper. For that reason, the Sages admonish fathers not to marry off their daughters to coarse ignoramuses ( amei ha-aretz): "If one marries his daughter to an am ha'aretz, it is as if he has left her tied up in front of a lion. Just like a lion attacks and devours its prey with no shame, so, too, an am ha'aretz beats and penetrates his wife shamelessly" ( Pesaḥim 49b). In other words, just as a lion devours its prey and begins eating while it is still alive, so an am ha'aretz penetrates his wife in order to satisfy his own urges and does not delay so that his wife can experience pleasure and joy as well.

[3]. Zohar (I 49b) addresses the issue of compliments: "A man who wishes to be intimate with his wife must ask her permission and speak to her in a way that makes her happy. If he does not, he should not sleep with her. This is to ensure that their desire is mutual and there is no coercion.... He should show her affection and draw her toward his desire, becoming aroused with her lovingly...in order to show her that they are united and that nothing comes between them. After that, he should praise her, telling her that there is no other woman like her, and that she is the glory of the home...as it says, 'Many women have done well, but you surpass them all' (Mishlei 31:29)." Tikkunei Zohar (§21, 57a) presents this approach as well, adding that on Shabbat, additional compliments should be given on account of the sanctity of the day. Elsewhere Zohar (II 259b) states that "there are two aspects of intimacy - kissing and the act of intimacy itself, one above and one below. The one above is to add an abundance of spirituality above, and the one below is to add an abundance of life below, each according to what is appropriate for it." Elsewhere Tikkunei Zohar (§10, 25b) points out that kissing involves four lips, corresponding to the four letters of the Tetragrammaton, and embracing involves four arms, corresponding to the four letters of the name Adonai ( alef-dalet-nun-yud; Lord).

Among the advice that R. Ḥisda gives his daughters in Shabbat 140b is the following: "[Your husband will want to] hold the pearl in one hand and the basket in the other. Show them the pearl, but not the basket, until he aches. Only then should you show it to him." Rashi explains: "When your husband caresses you to arouse desire for intercourse, he will fondle your breasts with one hand and 'that place' (the vagina) with the other. Offer him your breasts, so that his passion will intensify, but do not rush to offer the place of penetration, so that his passion and affection build and he aches. Then offer it to him." R. Elazar of Worms writes similarly: "They should embrace and kiss.... He should engage in foreplay by fondling and with all kinds of embrace, to fulfill his desire and hers" ( Sefer Ha-roke'aḥ, Hilkhot Teshuva 14). Other Rishonim and Aḥaronim write similarly.

The notion that some men must fulfill the mitzva by manual stimulation, even for ten minutes and beyond, is not mentioned in the halakhic literature. There are two apparent reasons for this. a) It stands to reason that during an era when people slept about ten hours each night (see Rambam, MT, Laws of Dispositions 4:4) and lived with less stress and tension, almost all women reached orgasm and the peak of joy during the conjugal act itself. Similarly, we learn that in the past all women sensed their uteruses open at the onset of menstruation, to the extent that Shulḥan Arukh mentions this as something well known (YD 183:1). Nowadays, most women do not experience this sensation (see Harḥavot). b) Since the mitzva is for a man to give his wife as much pleasure as he can, it is self-evident that if manual stimulation of the erogenous zone gives her greater pleasure, then that is the mitzva. There was no reason to write this down because the couple must naturally learn how to fulfill the mitzva. This is why it is called " derekh eretz " - the way of the world (as explained in the next section). In other words, the mitzva is for husband and wife to be open and honest with one another and for giving each other as much pleasure as they can. It can be assumed that within a relatively short time, they will become familiar with the woman's erogenous zones and take pleasure from it. If they find that this brings the wife to orgasm, they will understand that this is what the mitzva entails for them.

As we saw earlier, R. Ḥisda discussed the subject with his daughters. It is evident from this that people spoke about these matters more openly in the past. (See below, 3:12 and 3:15, where we explain that asceticism and withdrawal increased as a result of the Temple's destruction and the prolonged exile. It is important to clarify that when Zohar and kabbalistic writings speak of the importance of kissing, embracing, and having sexual relations, their purpose is not to serve as a practical guide to fulfilling the mitzva, which is a relatively simple matter, but to teach us that such actions correspond to profound and sublime notions, and sexual relations are a readily available allegory for teaching about the sublime.)

During foreplay, typically the husband will likely experience a small discharge of fluid. This is not considered a "waste of seed." Although some are stringent about this based on Kabbala ( Pri Etz Ḥayim, Sha'ar Keri'at Shema al Ha-mita ch. 11; Ben Ish Ḥai, Pekudei §13), the primary concern, according to Kabbala, is that the husband must not withdraw from sexual union until he has finished ejaculating every last drop of semen ( Sha'ar Ha-kavanot, Inyan Derushei Ha-layla; Kaf Ha-ḥayim 240:6; Darkhei Tahara 22:11). Even this is technically not prohibited, as evident from the view of most Rishonim that after the first time a couple has marital sexual relations, he may withdraw while still erect (SA YD 193:1; Sho'el Ve-nishal 3:424; see Olat Yitzḥak 2:242). With regard to premature ejaculation even before intercourse, see the end of n. 10 below.

Yoḥanan states, "Had the Torah not been given, we would have learned modesty from the cat (which defecates in private and covers its excrement), honesty from the ant (which does not steal food from other ants), fidelity from the dove (which has monogamous relationships), and derekh eretz from the rooster, which first soothes and only then mates" (Eruvin 100b). By "soothes" R. Yoḥanan means that the rooster courts, coaxes, and seduces the hen before mating with her.

This means that there are moral principles that a person must grasp simply, through his heart and his conscience, as dictated by the natural morality that God implanted in all creatures and that even wild beasts follow. The Torah adds layers of fastidiousness, consistency, and sanctity upon this healthy natural foundation, but if a person does not instinctively grasp these values, he is lacking something basic.

The Sages wish to teach us here that a husband should not hold back when it comes to praising and complimenting his wife for her beauty, her character, and all the good things she says and does. It is even appropriate to stretch the truth a bit, like the rooster who makes a promise that it knows it cannot keep but thereby acknowledges his love and esteem for her, saying that this is what she truly deserves. Moreover, after marital sexual relations, a man should not act like those husbands who lose interest in their wives, turn their backs, and fall asleep. Rather, he should apologize to his wife for his limitations, which do not allow him to adequately express the love and affection she deserves.

Another principle of derekh eretz that can be learned from the natural world is that it is generally the man who must initiate intimacy, as his desire is more external and obvious, and becomes apparent relatively quickly and easily. Through his passionate arousal, his wife will respond in kind and become aroused by him. These are only general guidelines, and every couple must consummate their union however their joy is maximized (n. 4 below), yet even when one spouse is disappointed by the process of courtship and seduction, they may not abrogate the set times of ona (sections 7-8 below).

It is also important to mention in the context of derekh eretz that sexual relations are often compared to a banquet ( Nedarim 20b), to teach us that just as the table is set for a banquet with a nice tablecloth, a full complement of silverware and dishes, and glasses for both wine and other beverages, and just as a banquet has appetizers, desserts, and courses in between, so too we must invest this much and more in preparing for marital sexual relations, which are a mitzva of the Torah. We must proceed patiently and gradually so that the union is consummated in complete joy. Just as it is good for banquets to vary the menu from time to time, because even the most delicious food can get boring if served too often, so too the compliments that the husband pays his wife and the ways he brings joy and pleasure to his wife should be varied. Everything must be in accordance with her desires; some people are more adventurous when it comes to trying new items on the menu, and others prefer the familiar, set menu.

It should go without saying that derekh eretz includes maintaining personal hygiene and removing anything unsightly or likely to be off-putting. Getting rid of things which are off-putting is obligatory, while going above and beyond is admirable. This applies equally to both women and men. R. Ḥisda instructed his daughters before they got married to avoid foods that would give them bad breath or upset their stomachs ( Shabbat 140b). Proper hygiene is so important that neglecting it is considered grounds for divorce. (See SA EH 154:1-2.) There are many guidelines and laws for specific cases, but the general rule is that since people differ, both husband and wife must be attentive and sensitive to what may bother the other. This is even truer when it comes to things which are generally viewed as disgusting.

When a woman does not love her husband, does not long to be with him, and does not enjoy sexual relations with him, she can drain the joy from his life. The Sages said of this: "There is no end to the goodness of a good wife, and there is no end to the badness of a bad wife" ( Midrash Tehilim §59). Making a similar point, the Talmud ( Yevamot 63a) relates that R. Ḥiya gave the following blessing to Rav, his disciple: "God should save you from a fate worse than death," referring to a bad wife, as it says (Kohelet 7:26), "I find woman more bitter than death." (See also section 12 below regarding women who have difficulty fulfilling this mitzva.)

The Sages say, "Any woman who propositions her husband to fulfill the mitzva [of ona] will have children the like of whom did not exist even in the generation of Moshe" ( Eruvin 100b). This is what our matriarch Leah did: "When Yaakov came home from the field in the evening, Leah went out to meet him and said, 'Come to me, for I have hired you with my son's mandrakes.' And he lay with her that night" (Bereishit 30:16). It was on that night that Leah conceived Yissachar, whose descendants were Torah scholars and leaders, as we read: "Of the Yissacharites, men who knew how to interpret the signs of the times, to determine how Israel should act: their chiefs were 200, and all their kinsmen followed them" (2 Divrei Ha-yamim 12:33).

The Talmud then questions this conclusion in light of the Sages' dictum: "A woman propositions in her heart, while a man propositions verbally; this is an admirable trait in women." If so, how could Leah have verbalized her proposition? Furthermore, how could she have been rewarded with a tribe of wise descendants? The Talmud explains that it is commendable for a woman to "make herself pleasing to him" - showing him signs of her affection and adorning herself for him to arouse his desire. That is, she propositions him "in her heart," by means of nonverbal cues. This is what Leah did when she said, "Come to me." She was expressing her love for Yaakov and her wish for him to come to her tent so they could sleep in the same bed and be close to one another. She did not explicitly request that they have sexual relations.

The reason that it is improper for her to verbally proposition him is that a man's stamina is limited, and he is not always capable of fulfilling the mitzva of ona, which requires him to be pleasantly stimulated and aroused to the point that he can have intercourse with his wife. The mitzva of ona thus depends on the man and what his physical stamina and workload permit (as explained in the next section). A woman, by contrast, can achieve orgasm every night, and even multiple times in one night. Even when she is tense, making it difficult for her to achieve orgasm, she can be responsive to her husband's advances and take pleasure in his joy. If she were to proposition him explicitly and verbally when he is in a state that would make it difficult for him to consummate their union, he might find it humiliating. Instead of eagerly anticipating sexual relations and finding it intensely pleasurable and enjoyable, he might start dreading it, fearing that he will be unable to do his duty. Sometimes this anxiety can cause impotence. Therefore, a woman should be coy and not proposition her husband verbally. Rather, she should use nonverbal cues that come from her heart, so that when he is not sure of his ability to fulfill the mitzva, he can respond affectionately but without the humiliation of being unable to reciprocate fully.

Additionally, when a man is so depressed and powerless that he actually feels impotent, devoid of his vitality and virility, and it seems to him that even if he wanted to, he does not possess the strength to stimulate an erection strong enough for sexual relations with his wife, then if he is fortunate, and his wife expresses her love and desire through nonverbal hints and cues, like with a warm embrace, it can revive him. It can awaken within him the desire and ability to fulfill the mitzva and consummate their union. Thus, she adds joy and light to his life (see 1:8 above).

[4]. As we learned, nonverbal cues are meant to preserve the husband's self-respect. However, as the couple's relationship becomes stronger and more secure, the wife should do whatever will make her husband happy. Some men prefer that their wives talk openly. Some prefer that their wives take more initiative, finding that it arouses them to pleasure their wives. When a woman knows that her husband prefers it, then this is what she should do. This is not immodest; rather, it is a mitzva, as she is doing this to bring him joy.

Laborers who worked locally had the mitzva of ona twice a week. Laborers who did not work locally, even if they returned home every night, had the mitzva once a week, since traveling is very draining. Donkey drivers, who transported produce from villages to markets, were generally away from home six days of the week, so their mitzva was only once a week. Camel drivers, who generally transported merchandise across long distances, would usually only return home once a month, so their mitzva of ona was once a month. Sailors, who would be at sea for half a year, had the mitzva of ona once every six months ( Ketubot 62a-b; SA EH 76:5). Torah scholars, whose Torah study exhausts them, had a mitzva of ona on the eves of Shabbat, Yom Tov, and Rosh Ḥodesh (SA ad loc; MA 240:3). Some of the greatest Aḥaronim write that it is better for Torah scholars to fulfill the mitzva of ona twice a week ( Me'il Tzedaka §51; Pitḥei Teshuva, EH 76:3; BHL 240:1).

A married tayal could not become a laborer without his wife's agreement, even if his new job would improve their financial situation. Since she married him with the understanding that he was a tayal, he could not reduce the ona to which she was entitled without her consent. Similarly, a laborer whose obligation of ona was twice a week could not become a donkey driver whose obligation was once a week without his wife's consent. Likewise, a donkey driver who wanted to become a camel driver or a camel driver who wanted to become a sailor had to ask his wife's permission. However, a tayal who wanted to become a Torah scholar could do so due to the greatness of the mitzva of studying Torah; his wife could not protest, even though he would be reducing her ona ( Ketubot 62b; SA EH 76:5; Beit Shmuel ad loc. 8).

These rulings were formulated in an age that was very different from the one we live in today. On one hand, most men work fewer hours than in the past, doing jobs that are less physically demanding. In this sense, they are most similar to tayalim. Even those who commute to work do so by car, bus, or train and are akin to local laborers, and perhaps even tayalim, as long as their commute is not terribly exhausting. On the other hand, life has become more stressful due to the competitive labor market and increased interest in news reports, sources of information, and communications media. As a result, people sleep less, which reduces their natural desire to fulfill the mitzva.

Therefore, it seems that the obligation of ona for most men is twice a week, perhaps a bit more frequent for younger people. Those whose work is particularly taxing, whether physically or emotionally, are obligated only once a week. In contrast, men who work in exceptionally easy professions are obligated more than twice a week, and perhaps even daily, like tayalim.

In addition to the set obligation of the mitzva of ona, which for most men is twice a week, it is a mitzva for every husband to have sexual relations with his wife when she desires him, as long as he has the strength for it, i.e., that he is capable of consummating the union.

Thus, the Torah's commandment of ona has two parts. First, there are set times based on what the husband's health and workload permit; these times provide a regular expression for the couple's bond and mutual desire. It is precisely this regularity that gives expression to the stability of their loving relationship. It is also why the Torah refers to this mitzva as " ona," "time," when it mentions a man's conjugal duties (Shemot 21:10).

Second, there is another part of the mitzva, which applies when the wife's desire is aroused. The Torah commands the man to be responsive and to consummate their union with abundant joy. It is likewise a mitzva and a duty for the wife to be responsive to her husband, if he wishes to have sexual relations with her more often than required.

In light of the second component of the mitzva, a question arises regarding the first one: Why must the Torah establish set times for a couple to express their love for each other? Why not leave the frequency of the mitzva up to them? After all, according to the second component, if one spouse is in the mood, the other has a mitzva and an obligation to respond, even if this takes place daily. Conversely, if, over the course of several weeks, neither husband nor wife initiates intimacy, why must they be instructed to have sexual relations at set times?

There are three answers to this question. First, it often happens that as the years go by, life's demands grow. Since sexual relations are no longer new and special as at first, the couple are liable to push it off, one time because of exhaustion, another time because of a preoccupation, the next time for a headache, and the time after that an upset stomach. Even though each time they both agree to forgo the mitzva, in fact their loving relationship is weakened. Deep in their hearts, each one is hurt that the other does not yearn for more intimacy, and when one does not initiate, the other also loses interest, deepening their sense of insult and the growing distance between them. Therefore, the mitzva of ona is there to instruct them to fulfill the onot on a regular basis. Only on rare occasions, when they are especially tense, may they forgo the mitzva by mutual consent.

Second, if the mitzva were always dependent on one spouse expressing desire, there would be concern that the spouse who is more often in the mood would become ashamed to always be the one to initiate. In contrast, when both husband and wife know that they have a mitzva to have sexual relations twice a week, they will fulfill the mitzva on a regular basis, and the need to indicate the desire for additional intimacy can be reserved for when one of them is feeling particularly amorous.

It is a mitzva for a man to have sexual relations with his wife on the night she immerses in the mikveh (SA EH 76:4). If he does not do so, he has neglected a mitzva of the Torah and violated the severe transgression of causing his wife pain, for it is extremely insulting for a woman to immerse and purify herself only for her husband to have no desire to be intimate with her. This night is considered a set time of ona; if their mitzva is twice a week, then this is considered their first time for that week.

A man about to travel has a mitzva to have sexual relations with his wife the night before his departure ( Yevamot 62b; SA EH 76:4), because their yearning to be together is especially strong then, as it is written: "You will know that all is well ( shalom) in your tent; when you visit your wife, you will never sin" (Iyov 5:24). In fulfilling this mitzva before traveling, the husband takes leave of his wife with love, joy, and peace ( shalom). They will not sin or betray each other while apart, neither in thought nor in deed. However, if the purpose of the journey is to fulfill a mitzva, and if having sexual relations will interfere with that mitzva, then ona is not obligatory (Rashi; Nimukei Yosef).

The mitzva of ona applies before any trip that evokes feelings of separation and longing, which may differ from person to person. Still, minimally, it refers to a trip that involves at least one night away from home. It is also obvious that if the trip will last long enough that they will have to forgo one set ona time, then even without feelings of longing, there is a mitzva for the couple to have sexual relations on the night before departure.

The same law applies when the wife must travel away from home. If her trip prompts feelings of longing or if it causes a set time of ona to be missed, there is a mitzva for her and her husband to have sexual relations the night before she leaves.

When a trip is planned for the day before mikveh night, it is a mitzva to postpone the trip until after the wife immerses and they fulfill the mitzva of ona (Rema, YD 184:10).

[8]. The Talmud states ( Yevamot 62b):

Yehoshua b. Levi says, "A man is obligated to have sexual relations with his wife when he departs on a trip, as it says, 'You will know that all is well in your tent.'" Is the law derived from here? Is it not derived from the verse, "Your desire shall be for your husband," which teaches that a woman yearns for her husband when he leaves for a trip? R. Yosef answers: "This [extra verse] is not necessary except [to teach us that the obligation applies] near the expected onset of her period." How close? Rava answers, "A span of twelve hours." This all applies to [a husband traveling] for something voluntary, but for a mitzva, he is preoccupied.

Many understand the Talmud to mean that since ona is a Torah commandment, even during the time of the month when normally the couple must refrain from sexual relations because she is near the onset of her period, before a trip it is a mitzva for them to have relations, as long as she has not seen blood (Rashi, Raavad, Rashba, Rabbeinu Yeruḥam, Raavan, and SA YD 184:10). Others have a different text of R. Yosef's statement. Instead of "This [extra verse] is not necessary except [to teach us that the obligation applies] near the expected onset of her period," the text reads, "This [extra verse] is not necessary except [to teach us that the obligation applies] when his wife is a nidda." The meaning in that case would be that he should take leave of his wife with words of affection and love (Rabbeinu Tam, R. Zeraḥya Halevi, Rosh, Or Zaru'a, and Smak). Since, according to these poskim, there is no obligation to have sexual relations prior to embarking on a trip, doing so is not permitted near the expected onset of her period. Nevertheless, if she is not expecting her period, and either the husband or wife yearns for intimacy prior to a trip, clearly even these poskim would agree that it is obligatory.

The Sages say that the habit of Torah scholars is to fulfill the mitzva of ona on Friday night ( Ketubot 62b), and of them it is written, "That yields its fruit in its season" (Tehilim 1:3). Halakhic authorities add that it is a mitzva for Torah scholars to fulfill the mitzva of ona on the nights of Yom Tov and Rosh Ḥodesh (MA 240:3). There are several reasons for this. First, by fulfilling the mitzva of ona, the couple also fulfills the mitzva of oneg Shabbat (making Shabbat a delight), and it is likewise proper to be extra joyful on Yom Tov and Rosh Ḥodesh. Moreover, holy days are fitting times to fulfill the mitzva of ona, as we find that after the giving of the Torah and the dedication of the Temple, Israel fulfilled the mitzva of ona (1:6 above). In addition, on these days, Torah scholars study less Torah than usual, and therefore they are more available to fulfill the mitzva of ona in the most complete way.

The mitzva to have sexual relations on Shabbat is not limited to Torah scholars. Rather, it is a mitzva for all couples, as a fulfillment of oneg Shabbat. In the words of Shulḥan Arukh: "Marital intimacy is one of the pleasures of Shabbat" (280:1).

[9]. It is good to shower or bathe after sexual relations, because of Ezra's decree (below, 3:9). See Peninei Halakha: Shabbat, vol. 1, 14:8 for the laws of bathing on Shabbat. When one spouse is tired on Friday night, the couple can be intimate on Shabbat day by darkening the room, as explained below in section 15. According to Zohar (III 81b and Tikkunei Zohar §21, 57a), there is great value in fulfilling the mitzva on Friday night specifically. Some couples are stringent and refrain from relations during the week, especially when the wife is likely to get pregnant, based on the kabbalistic idea that Friday night is the best time for sexual intimacy and for drawing down holy souls to this world. This is the practice of those who follow the path of ascetic sanctity (see 3:12 below, and Harḥavot here). Nevertheless, even according to them, it is clear that when such abstinence might cause sinful thoughts, it is preferable to have relations during the week in order to avoid such thoughts ( Kaf Ha-ḥayim 240:2, 8). In any case, in practice, the essence of the Torah commandment of ona is that it be fulfilled joyfully, and we do not allow pious practices based on Kabbala to uproot the essence of the mitzva. Additionally, as we said in section 7, the mainstream approach is that Torah scholars should be intimate with their wives twice a week (see also below, 3:13-14.)

Everything we have learned regarding the man's duty of ona relates to healthy men, who transgress a Torah prohibition if they subtract from the set frequency for ona. If this behavior continues, it is obvious grounds for divorce, and the wife receives her ketuba payment in full (1:2 above). However, if a man's difficulty in fulfilling the mitzva at the set times is attributable to a health problem, his only obligation is to do what the doctors deem him capable of (SA EH 76:3). Since problems often stem from specific hormone deficiencies or other medical conditions, and most of these issues are now treatable, he is obligated to consult with doctors. Occasionally, psychological or emotional problems are what cause him to forgo onot or to not make his wife as happy as he should. He must seek treatment for these issues as well. If it is a minor issue, consulting a rabbi is usually effective. If the problem is serious, he must seek the help of a God-fearing therapist who specializes in that area. If the husband neglects to deal with the problem appropriately, he negates a Torah commandment. Because he is not properly fulfilling the times of ona, his wife may file for divorce, and he must pay her ketuba in full.

If the husband has done his best to correct the problem by consulting with doctors and therapists, yet is still unable to fulfill the mitzva of ona on a regular basis, then as long as he manages to consummate their relationship at least once every six months, thus meeting the least frequent requirement for ona, namely, the practice of sailors (section 7 above), it is not grounds for divorce and payment of the ketuba. If he cannot meet even this minimum threshold, his wife can decide how to proceed. If she is willing to live with him in this state, she is permitted to do so, and if she wants to divorce, her husband must divorce her and pay her ketuba in full (SA EH 76:11). It goes without saying that even a man who cannot fully consummate their relationship must still please his wife and gladden her with kisses, embraces, and caresses that bring her to orgasm. In general, if a husband does this, even though he cannot engage in intercourse, his wife will not want to divorce him.

If one's wife is truly willing to forgo ona, her relinquishment is valid as long as her husband has already fulfilled the mitzva of procreation. However, if he has not yet fulfilled this mitzva, he is required to fulfill all the set times of ona during which there is a chance that she will get pregnant. If he is unable to fulfill his conjugal duties, he must heed the instruction of doctors to fulfill his mitzva (SA EH 76:6).

Even when the husband has already fulfilled the mitzva of procreation and the wife is willing to forgo ona, he should preferably not give up on this mitzva. Rather, he should get medical advice about what might allow him to fulfill ona properly, since that is the proper and healthy way to live. A person should try to fulfill all the mitzvot even when there is no absolute obligation to do so (such as wearing tzitzit or undertaking acts of kindness). Similarly, he should make every effort to fulfill this precious and holy mitzva, which is responsible for the Shekhina dwelling in the world in general and with the couple in particular.

[10]. One of the ten ordinances instituted by Ezra the Scribe was for men to eat garlic on Friday night to help them fulfill the mitzva of ona, as garlic was considered a potency-enhancing aphrodisiac ( Bava Kamma 82a). Regarding the set times of ona, SA EH 76:3 states: "The obligation of someone who is unhealthy is only what they deem him capable of." This assessment is made by experts, meaning doctors. Today, thank God, medicinal solutions have been discovered for most such conditions. For example, sometimes a man feels no desire to be intimate with his wife because his testosterone levels are abnormally low. This can be diagnosed with a simple blood test, therefore the husband must take a testosterone supplement in order to fulfill the mitzva. Sometimes difficulties stem from blood flow problems, and there are medications for this as well. Thus, a man who cannot properly fulfill the mitzva of ona properly must see a doctor to find a cure for his condition, and if he does not do so, he neglects a Torah commandment, just as if he does not recite Shema or put on tefilin. The same applies to a woman who feels that she cannot fulfill this mitzva joyfully, as is proper.

If a man cannot fulfill even one ona every six months, his wife may file for divorce and receive payment of her ketuba in full, even if it is likely that a cure will be discovered within a few years (this emerges from Rambam, Shulḥan Arukh, and most poskim). Some say that if the doctors estimate that there is a good chance that he will become healthy in the next few years, she may not demand a divorce ( Or Zaru'a; Ḥelkat Meḥokek, EH 76:18; Beit Shmuel ad loc. 17).

If the couple are elderly or even just adults who have had a good relationship for years, then even if there is no chance that the husband's condition will improve, the beit din tries to persuade the wife to remain with her husband. However, if she still insists on a divorce, her husband is required to divorce her ( Responsa Maharalbaḥ §§29-30).

Some ask whether it is permissible to use a vibrator to facilitate the wife's orgasm when conventional methods are unsuccessful. The answer is that if on a regular basis the couple's efforts do not succeed in bringing her to orgasm, it is a mitzva to use this device. As long as her husband is the one giving her pleasure, even if it is with the help of an external device, he is fulfilling the Torah's commandment. Even if they can reach orgasm without using a vibrator, they are permitted to use it as they see fit. The more a man pleasures his wife, the greater his mitzva. However, it is forbidden for a man or woman to masturbate, whether manually or using devices, because sexual pleasure must be reserved for their lovemaking, and only thus is the mitzva fulfilled. When it is in the context of an individual's urges, it is considered a sin (as explained below, 4:1 and 4:10 with n. 15).

If a man is so sensitive that he ejaculates prematurely during foreplay, he is not considered to be wasting his seed, as we learn that several Rishonim permit anal intercourse (section 18 below). In their opinion, intercourse with other parts of the body, that is, ejaculation that occurs through embracing and touching between a man and a woman, is permitted as well. This is the opinion of Orḥot Ḥayim ( Hilkhot Ketubot §7); Rabbeinu Yona ( Sanhedrin 58b); Tur, EH 25:2; and Rema ad loc. Even those who forbid this would agree that when it is not intentional, such as in the case of premature ejaculation, there is no prohibition. As we learn with respect to Shabbat ( Peninei Halakha: Shabbat, vol. 1, 9:5), when one does not intend to so something and it is not a foregone conclusion that it will be done, there is no transgression (Rabbi Yehuda Aszod, Yehuda Ya'aleh vol. 1, YD 238; Imrei Bina vol. 4, EH 8; Imrei Esh, YD 69). However, often a man with this tendency does not manage to bring his wife pleasure properly, so he must consult with a God-fearing specialist about how to prevent this from happening.

[11]. SAH 280:2, states that if a wife is willing to forgo ona on Friday night, it is permissible to skip it, but adds that "even so, it is good to uphold it." The Talmud recounts that R. Yehuda Ha-Nasi asked R. Shimon b.Ḥalafta why he did not come to visit during the holiday. He answered sorrowfully that old age had crept up on him: "The rocks seem higher; what had been close is now far; two have become three (meaning he now needed a cane to function as a third leg); and that which promoted peace in the home has ceased" ( Shabbat 152a). Rashi explains "that which promoted peace in the home" to refer to the male sexual organ. R. Nissim Gaon says, "It refers to sexual desire, which nurtures peace between husband and wife." See above, 1:4-6. Rav Kook writes ( Mitzvat Re'aya, EH §1) that if an elderly man finds it difficult to have sexual relations, and his wife is willing to forgo ona, he must still engage in relations at least once every six months (the ona of sailors, which is the least frequent; see section 7 above).

As we learned (section 1 above), the essence of the mitzva is for a husband to pleasure his wife and give her as much joy as he can, until she reaches orgasm. However, this is not in the hands of the husband alone; sometimes, despite his best efforts, his wife will not reach orgasm. There can be various reasons which may account for this. As we already learned (section 2), a woman's spiritual, psychological, and physical selves are more integrated than a man's, so when a woman is preoccupied or exhausted, or if she does not recognize the value of the mitzva, it is possible that all attempts will fail to bring her to orgasm. On the contrary, the effort may well leave her frustrated and sad, because as pleasure builds toward its climax, it produces a great physical and psychological yearning to reach orgasm and the release that accompanies it. When that has not been fulfilled, it leaves profound frustration. If a woman repeatedly experiences this frustration, she might prefer to forgo the attempt to have an orgasm altogether, in order to avoid the despondency that follows failure.

When the situation is not as good, and the wife usually does not reach orgasm, the couple must figure out the reason and find a solution. Sometimes the problem stems from exhaustion or stress, in which case they must adjust their lifestyles so that they are more balanced: reducing stress, getting more sleep, or at least making sure to get enough sleep in anticipation of intimacy. Sometimes, the problem occurs early in married life, when a couple has not yet learned how to bring the wife to orgasm, in which case they must learn how to fulfill the mitzva properly. They should not neglect the problem, since this mitzva is no less holy than the other mitzvot. Of course, if the wife knows that something specific will be more enjoyable for her, she should not be embarrassed to tell her husband.

If, despite all efforts, a husband is unsuccessful in pleasuring his wife and bringing her to orgasm, it is a mitzva for him to consult a rabbi or specialist, or for her to consult a rabbanit or a specialist. Sometimes simple suggestions can solve the problem, in which case a rabbi or rabbanit can help. Sometimes it is necessary to delve deeper into the internal barriers to their union, and sometimes the barrier is the result of a medical condition, in which case it is necessary to consult a specialist. In any case, the couple has an obligation to treat the problem so that they can fulfill the mitzva properly.

Nevertheless, if they made every effort but did not manage to find a remedy for their condition, they should still make sure to have sexual relations on a regular basis, fulfilling the mitzva under these extenuating circumstances. The kindness and compassion that they have for one another and their fulfillment of their moral obligations toward one another, as the Torah commands, will sanctify their marriage covenant.

[12]. There are three levels in the fulfillment of this mitzva: a) The primary mitzva, wherein the husband pleasures his wife until she reaches orgasm; b) be-di'avad, when the woman enjoys sexual relations but does not climax; for those who practice ascetic sanctity, when the wife is in complete agreement, this, too, is considered le-khatḥila (3:12 below); c) under extenuating circumstances, when the woman derives no pleasure, but she and her husband have sexual relations in order to fulfill their marital covenant and in order to prevent the husband from sinning, which is the lowest purpose for fulfilling the mitzva (3:3 below), although there is still holiness (3:5 below). As long as they are married, husband and wife may not forgo a set ona time unless there is full mutual consent, because the onot give expression to their marital union. We have already seen (1:2) that refusing intimacy is the principal grounds for divorce, for it goes against the very reason for marrying. Only if a woman has a very compelling reason may she, with rabbinic consent, forgo one of the set times of ona (see note 6 above). Pregnancy and nursing are not considered compelling reasons, unless a doctor has given special instructions in her particular case. It must be emphasized that one should avoid going to doctors who make light of the mitzva of ona, and who irresponsibly instruct their patients to refrain from intercourse, or who do not make efforts to find remedies for women whose excessive bleeding renders them prohibited to their husbands. The Sages tell us that King David was so pious that he was willing to forgo the honor due a king, sullying his hands with blood from the amniotic sac and the placenta in order to be able to render a woman pure and permitted to her husband ( Berakhot 4a). In contrast, these doctors, whose job this is, cavalierly separate husbands and wives. Therefore, even when a couple receive medical instruction to abstain from sexual relations, the couple should consult with a respected rabbi regarding how to proceed. Sometimes it is necessary to switch doctors, and sometimes, when the doctor is God-fearing and reliable, they must consider whether it would be proper to have anal sexual relations (see section 18 below; Rema, EH 25:2). Often, affairs and betrayals begin when a couple is not having sexual relations regularly, such as while the wife is pregnant or nursing (3:7 below, and n. 4).

Some women suffer from fear of intercourse (genophobia) or conditions like vaginismus and vestibulodynia, which make them unable to have sexual intercourse or make it painful, with varying degrees of pain, even if technically possible. These issues have become more common in recent times, affecting up to ten percent of women. It seems to stem, in part, from the tension between permissiveness and natural bashfulness, such that a traumatic experience, in which a woman is pressured by prevailing norms into overcoming her sense of privacy, can generate or exacerbate such problems.

According to halakha, when a woman cannot have sexual relations with her husband, it is grounds for divorce, and her husband is exempt from paying her ketuba and its supplements, since the basic premise of marriage is not being fulfilled (see SA EH 117:2; Piskei Din Rabbaniyim vol. 4, p. 325). If a woman allows her husband to have sexual relations with her at the set times but suffers from them, then since he cannot be happy with her as is accepted and appropriate, he has the right to divorce her, but he must pay her ketuba (see Beit Shmuel, EH 117:9). However, this need not lead to divorce, since it is almost always possible to solve the problem so that she can reach orgasm normally. Unfortunately, many women who suffer from these conditions do not understand the severity of the problem. It seems that their physical difficulty combines with an emotional obstruction, to the extent that they think that physical intimacy is not important. To their thinking, if their husbands have a hard time with that, they must overcome their urges and not hound their wives. They do not realize that had their husbands known about this issue from the start, they probably would have called off the wedding. These wives are also oblivious to the fact that if the problem persists, the chances are that sooner or later, it will lead to divorce. In mild cases, realizing the importance of the mitzva and acknowledging the deleterious effect that the problem has on the marriage enables the woman to overcome the problem without outside intervention. In more severe cases, this awareness allows her to understand the importance of seeking treatment and gives her the courage to follow the instructions of doctors and therapists until the root of the problem is found and it is then resolved.

The Sages commend those who sanctify themselves during marital sexual relations, stating that they will merit having good children ( Shevu'ot 18b). This "sanctity" entails the couple concentrating solely on their wholehearted love for one another. The greater their love, and the greater their wish for good and righteous children, the holier their sexual union, through which they merit having such children (above, 1:4 and 2:5-6; below, 3:3).

Children of fear and rape: The husband threatens his wife and coerces her into having sexual relations, or the wife forces her husband to have sexual relations with her with coercion or intimidation.

Children of antipathy: The husband despises his wife and has sex with her only to satisfy his urges, or the wife despises her husband and has sex with him only to satisfy her urges.

Children of ostracism: The couple has sexual relations when one of them has been excommunicated. Although a person who is excommunicated is not prohibited from having sexual relations (Shakh, YD 334:12), nevertheless, since the rest of the community must distance themselves from such people until they repair their actions, sexual intimacy with them does not have the proper devotion and joy.

Children of exchange: During sexual intercourse, the husband is thinking about another woman or the wife about another man.

Children of strife: The couple is in the middle of an argument and they have sexual relations before making up. Their quarrel does not permit them to forgo their ona, but they have a duty to make up before having sexual relations.

Children of drunkenness: If a couple has sexual relations while one of them is drunk, their union lacks the complete focus on their love and unity.

Children of estrangement: When one of the couple wants to divorce, even if they still have love for each other, their union is incomplete.

Children of entanglement: A woman divorces and remarries someone else within three months (leading to confusion about paternity).

Children of brazenness: When a woman demands sex from her husband in a brazen, coarse, or foul-mouthed manner, or a husband from his wife, such a union contains no love, only the satisfying of lust.

Masekhet Kalla (1:16) introduces a tenth category, children of sleeping: When a man has sexual relations with his wife while she is sleeping, such a union lacks mutual love.

It is said of people conceived under these nine circumstances that since their souls are drawn down to this world by means of a union devoid of love and unity, they are flawed, making it difficult for them to connect to the sacred or to overcome their evil impulses. In addition, when parents lack love and understanding, their feelings of distance and alienation negatively impact the children, who need an environment of love, friendship, stability, and emotional warmth in order to thrive.

Of course, children conceived under these circumstances have free will like everyone else, and if they choose to do what is right, their reward will be even greater, for they will have overcome their evil impulse as well as the poor role models they witnessed at home. However, if they do not make the effort to improve themselves, their tendency toward wickedness will prevail.

When peaceful harmony between husband and wife is compromised throughout the Jewish people, and many children are conceived from flawed unions, it causes a rift between God and the Jewish people, leading to the exile of the people from their land. The purpose of the travails of exile is to purge Israel of its sinners and rebels, born of flawed unions, and to restore and rekindle faith, leading to Israel's ultimate redemption. As it says, "I will remove from you those who rebel and transgress against Me; I will take them out of the countries where they sojourn, but they shall not enter upon the soil of Israel. Then you shall know that I am the Lord" (Yeḥezkel 20:38; see also 20:40-44).

[13]. Masekhet Kalla 1:16 states that "they are like mamzerim, yet they are not mamzerim." The implication is that these children are considered to be born out of a type of emotional adultery. A woman's thoughts can be just as damaging as a man's, as is evident from Tanḥuma Naso §7: "If a woman has sexual relations with her husband and is thinking about a man she saw on the street while her husband is penetrating her, there is nothing more adulterous than this." Rather, the most important thing is for husband and wife to achieve sexual union with complete love for one another, as Rambam wrote, "with mutual desire and joy" (MT, Laws of Dispositions 5:4). Likewise, the other Rishonim wrote that lack of love is what leads to the nine types of flaw (Raavad, Sha'ar Ha-kedusha; Tur, EH 25:1). The Vilna Gaon, discussing the importance of sanctifying oneself during marital sexual relations, writes: "This refers primarily to the children of the nine flaws, of which it is written, 'I will remove from you those who rebel and transgress' (Yeḥezkel 20:38), who originate in the mixed multitude and the Tree of Knowledge" (commentary on Tikkunei Zohar, end of §53). Rabbeinu Baḥya likewise writes, "Sanctity is purity of thought, that he does not think about another woman or anything else, only his wife" (commentary on Bereishit 30:38). In 3:3 below we will explain the two levels of sanctity during intimacy.

On Yom Kippur and Tisha Be-Av, sexual relations are forbidden as one of the five activities prohibited on these major fast days. In order to ensure that they not end up sinning, husband and wife should behave on these days as they do while she is a nidda. That is, they should neither touch each other, nor sleep in the same bed (SA 615:1; MB ad loc. 1). However, during the day of Tisha Be-Av, which is not as strict, they may touch, since there is little concern that it will lead to intimacy. Still, even on the day of Tisha Be-Av, they may not touch affectionately or sleep in the same bed ( Peninei Halakha: Zemanim 10:9; Peninei Halakha: Yamim Nora'im 8:7).

A person observing the seven-day mourning period ( shiva) may not have sexual relations, because the mitzva of ona must be fulfilled joyfully, while a mourner is grieving ( Mo'ed Katan 15b; SA YD 383:1). However, a mourner need not observe the additional rabbinical restrictions ( harḥakot) of nidda. Therefore, husband and wife may touch, and she may make his bed in his presence. Still, hugging and kissing of a sexual nature are prohibited (Rema, YD 383:1; Nehar Mitzrayim, Hilkhot Avelut §113; Shulḥan Gavo'ah 342:14). If the mourner plans to sleep in their own bed, the couple must separate their beds to avoid a situation that may lead to sexual intimacy (SA ad loc.). It would seem that a comforting hug and a polite kiss are permitted, as long as they are not sexual in nature. Upon conclusion of the shiva, the couple should resume fulfilling the mitzva of ona completely. It is even a mitzva for the wife to adorn herself for that purpose, even during the thirty-day mourning period (SA YD 381:6).

[14]. Some observed the stringency of refraining from sexual relations, bathing, and applying ointments on the eve of the minor fast days, but that was during times of terrible persecution. At such times, some say that le-khatḥila all the fast days should be treated like Tisha Be-Av. Nowadays, there is no place for this stringency, as explained in Peninei Halakha: Zemanim, ch. 7 n. 2. MA (240:3) states that according to Arizal, it is proper to refrain from sexual relations on the nights of Rosh Ha-shana, Seder night, Shavu'ot, and Shemini Atzeret (and certainly not during the daytime of those holidays). Nevertheless, if mikveh night falls out on one of these times, it is a mitzva to have sexual relations on those nights as well ( Shlah). Other Aḥaronim echo this stringency. Ḥokhmat Adam 128:19 argues that the stringency is limited to a man who is so God-fearing that there is no concern that he might have sinful thoughts. For any man who does not fit into this category, it is best that he have sexual marital relations and avoid sinning. This is also the position of MB 240:7. Darkhei Tahara adds (22:24) that when there is a mitzva from the Torah to have sexual relations, such as when the wife yearns for it, the mitzva applies even on those nights.

Sexual intimacy must therefore take place at home or in an enclosed, private area. It is forbidden to have intercourse in public or in an open space, even if there is no one there to see it. Those who do so look like they are behaving promiscuously and habituating themselves to sinfulness, for which they deserve to be punished ( Sanhedrin 46a; SA EH 25:4). It is forbidden to have sexual relations in the presence of any other person, even someone who is sleeping, for they may wake up. Technically, a couple may have sexual relations in the presence of a preverbal baby; however, this, too, is inappropriate, and is therefore permitted only when there is no other option, and when the baby is sleeping. If the baby wakes up while the couple are still having intercourse, they may continue. Le-khatḥila, there should not be pets, such as dogs or cats, present.

It is customary for the couple to be under covers during sexual intercourse, even where there is no light (see Darkhei Tahara 22:39).

The couple must keep the time of their sexual relations private. During intercourse, they should be careful that their voices cannot be heard by others. It is also proper for the wife to be discreet about when she goes to the mikveh, so that no one will sense that she is going (Rema, YD 198:48).

To ensure that intimacy takes place joyfully and in private, without concern that children or guests might suddenly enter the room, the couple should make sure to lock the door to their room. They should do so every night when they go to sleep, so that it is not obvious when they are fulfilling the mitzva. They should also not let one of the children sleep in their room.

Guests may have sexual relations as long as they have a closed room, there is no concern that the hosts will be aware of it, and they leave no evidence on the sheets.

It is proper for a couple to refrain from behaving in a way that expresses their desire for one another in front of others (Rema, EH 21:5). A polite hug or kiss, in a society where this is considered acceptable, is not a breach of modesty, but if it expresses sexual desire, it is immodest, for the love between husband and wife is a very deep and personal matter. Exposing it in front of others trivializes it and cheapens it. The couple should also be sensitive to the fact that such displays of affection can cause pain and stir up jealousy among those who are not privileged to be in such a relationship.

[15]. In extreme cases, breaches of modesty are grounds for divorce. For example, the Sages say in the mishna, "The following women are divorced without receiving their ketuba...a noisy woman.... What woman is considered 'noisy'? When she speaks in her home, her neighbors can hear her voice" ( m. Ketubot 7:6). Rambam explains that this means they can hear her loudly demanding sex from her husband. Similarly, if a husband vows to abstain from sexual relations with his wife unless she shares details of their private life with others, she is entitled to a divorce and payment of her ketuba ( Ketubot 72a-b).

Matters of modesty and privacy are dependent upon accepted norms. Therefore, in the past, when homes were smaller and sometimes an entire family lived in one room, parents were allowed to be sexually intimate while their children (and anyone else in the room) were sleeping. Moreover, in those times, people generally slept more soundly, since they worked at hard physical labor all day. However, now that homes have several rooms, norms of privacy dictate that sexual intimacy is forbidden in a room where someone else is sleeping. See Harḥavot 13:5-6. It is worth adding that locking their bedroom door not only allows a couple to fulfill the mitzva with great joy, but it also has educational value in that it teaches the couple's children how deep and personal their parents' relationship is, and that it must not be disturbed. They will thus learn by example how to live accordingly, and they will merit establishing good families of their own.

It is forbidden to have sexual relations during the day, as it is forbidden to do so in the light. This is a matter of modesty and privacy, which is a characteristic Jewish trait ( Yevamot 79a). The Sages said, "The Jewish people are holy; they do not have sexual relations during the day" ( Nidda 17a). Similarly, it is prohibited to have sexual relations at night where there is light (SA 240:11). This does not mean that the room must be pitch dark; rather, if moonlight comes into the room, sexual relations are permitted as long as it does not truly illuminate them. Some people are stringent when possible, closing the blinds or curtains to block out even this light (see MB 240:39).

[16]. According to the vast majority of Rishonim and Aḥaronim (including Rif; Raavad; SA 240:11; MA ad loc. 26; and AHS ad loc. 16), sexual relations are permissible during the day in a dark room even le-khatḥila. Others say that it is allowed only in a time of need or under pressing circumstances ( Kaf Ha-ḥayim 240:80; Darkhei Tahara 22:13).

Darkhei Tahara 22:30 states that the couple must cover themselves with a blanket from head to toe, and so states Ben Ish Ḥai, Year 2, Vayera §26. However, Rabbeinu Yehonatan (commenting on Rif, Eruvin 33b) implies that it is enough to cover the head and most of the body.

The conjugal act itself is prohibited in the light, but foreplay is not. We find nothing that prohibits a couple from gazing at one another's naked bodies. The only exception is that according to some poskim (on Nedarim 20a-b), it is forbidden for the husband to gaze at his wife's vagina (see section 19 below). On the other hand, it is forbidden to have sexual relations in the light. We can therefore conclude that the prohibition pertains only to conjugal act itself. This is the conclusion of Mishkan Yisrael, part 2, p. 79. Also, see Darkhei Tahara, ch. 22, additional material and responsa §6.

At night, when there is light in the room, it is forbidden to have sexual relations even under the covers (Raavad; Smak; Ritva; SA 240:11 and EH 25:5; Eliya Rabba; MB 240:39). Although there are a few poskim who have ruled leniently in this matter (Ḥida, Petaḥ Einayim on Nidda 17b; Kaf Ha-ḥayim 240:71), here I follow the opinion of the poskim who rule stringently.

Even though the sanctity of the mitzva of ona is very great, it is still necessary to separate different realms; the mitzva of ona involves unbounded physical liberation and joy, whereas Torah must be studied with a sense of dread, awe, fear, and trembling, and a Torah scroll must be treated with seriousness and gravity (as explained below, 3:9). Therefore, marital relations are forbidden in a room in which there is a Torah scroll written with ink on parchment as it was written at Mount Sinai. If at all possible, the Torah scroll should be removed from the room. If that is not an option, a barrier must be set up between the Torah and the bed in such a way that the scroll is considered to be in a separate domain. The barrier must be at least ten tefaḥim (30 in or 76 cm) high and four amot (6 ft or 1.82 m) wide ( Darkhei Tahara 22:41). The scroll must also not be visible to the couple.

It is forbidden to have sexual relations in a room where there are tefilin, a mezuza, or any other handwritten sacred text. However, if one covers these objects with two covers, it is permitted. The regular tefilin case or mezuza cover can serve as the first cover, but the second covering must be specifically for this purpose. The tefilin must be covered with a sheet or towel or placed in an additional case. Usually, a mezuza already has two covers, at least one of which is opaque, making it permissible to have sexual relations (or change a baby's diaper, etc.) in that room.

As for printed Torah texts on a shelf or elsewhere in the room, their binding serves as one cover, and it is proper to cover them with an additional cover, like cloth or paper. Under pressing circumstances, when this is impossible to do so, they may have sexual relations provided that they make sure to cover themselves with a blanket, so that they are not naked in the presence of the books.

Normal sexual intercourse is vaginal, but some people desire anal intercourse, which the Talmud calls bi'a she-lo ke-darka, "abnormal intercourse." Clearly, if anal sexual intercourse is painful for the wife or done against her wishes, it is forbidden. But what if she consents or even desires it? The Talmud records ( Nedarim 20b) that the Sages ruled that it is not prohibited. On the other hand, we learn ( Yevamot 34b) that the sin of Yehuda's sons, Er and Onan, was that they penetrated Tamar anally, thereby wasting their seed. This was evil in God's eyes ( Bereishit 38:7 and 38:10), and He put them to death.

Most Rishonim explain that when a couple engages in anal intercourse in order to avoid pregnancy, it is considered a waste of seed and is forbidden. However, if they engage in it occasionally, it is not prohibited. Some Rishonim explain that the Sages permitted anal sexual intercourse as long as the husband does not ejaculate in the anus. Rather, the couple must later engage in vaginal intercourse, culminating in ejaculation. Some halakhic authorities forbid even this.

[19]. The Talmud ( Nedarim 20a-b) states: "R. Yoḥanan b. Dahavai said, 'The ministering angels told me four things. Why are people born lame? Because [their fathers] flipped over their tables (that is, had anal intercourse).'" Later in the discussion, R. Yoḥanan said, "These are the words of Yoḥanan b. Dahavai, but the Sages said that the halakha does not follow Yoḥanan b. Dahavai. Rather, whatever a man wishes to do with his wife, he may do." The Talmud further recounts: "A certain woman came to R. Yehuda Ha-Nasi and said to him, 'I set the table for my husband, and he overturned it. (I.e., I prepared for normal intercourse, and he penetrated me anally. Is this forbidden?)' R. Yehuda Ha-Nasi replied, 'My child, the Torah permits this. What then can I do?'" His answer implies that he was uncomfortable with this, but could not forbid it since the Torah allows it. Perhaps in this case the woman took no pleasure in it, but agreed on condition that it was not prohibited. The Talmud continues with yet another story: "A woman came to Rav and said, 'Rabbi, I set the table for my husband, and he overturned it.' He replied, 'How is this any different from fish?'" Rav was invoking an opinion of the Sages cited a few lines earlier: "Whatever a man wishes to do with his wife, he may do. An analogy can be drawn to meat from the butcher. If he wishes to eat it salted, he may; if he wants to eat it roasted, he may; if he wants to eat it seethed, he may; if he wants to eat it stewed, he may. The same is true of fish delivered from the fisherman." The implication is that according to Rav, there is no prohibition, just as a person may eat fish however he likes.

This seems to contradict a talmudic passage ( Yevamot 34b), which states that the sin of Er and Onan was having anal intercourse with Tamar, thereby wasting their seed. Most poskim limit this prohibition to doing this regularly to avoid conception. When done occasionally, it is permissible. This is the opinion of Tosafot ( Sanhedrin 58b, s.v. "mi"); Tosafot Rid ( Yevamot 12b, s.v. "tanei"); Or Zaru'a ( Kuntres Ha-re'ayot on Sanhedrin 58a); Rosh ( Yevamot 3:9); Rabbeinu Yeruḥam ( Toldot Adam Ve-Ḥava, netiv 23, part 1); Mordechai ( Shevu'ot, Hilkhot Nidda §732); Hagahot Maimoniyot (Laws of Sexual Prohibitions 23:4); Ritva (in his primary explanation as cited in Shita Mekubetzet, Nedarim 20b); and Rabbeinu Yona ( Sanhedrin 58b). This is also the correct text of Rambam (MT, Laws of Sexual Prohibitions 21:9). It is also the opinion of Yam Shel Shlomo ( Yevamot 3:18); Levush (240:14); Shetilei Zeitim (240:20); and Torot Emet, Yeshu'ot Yaakov, and Erekh Shai in their commentaries on SA EH 25:2.

Others are stringent and maintain that anal sexual intercourse is permitted only on condition that the husband does not ejaculate there. This is the opinion of R. Avraham Min Ha-har ( Nedarim ad loc.); Orḥot Ḥayim ( Hilkhot Ketubot §7); Ri (in his first explanation as cited in Tosafot, Yevamot 34b s.v. "ve -lo"); Beit Yosef (EH 25:2); and AHS (EH 25:11). This is also the reading that appears in the printed editions of Rambam's Mishneh Torah. Some are even stricter and do not permit anal penetration at all ( Sefer Ḥaredim ch. 64; Shlah, Sha'ar Ha-otiyot, Kedushat Ha-zivug §§360-364). They understand the phrase " shelo ke-darka" (non-normal) to mean that the wife is on top of her husband or that the husband is behind his wife during vaginal intercourse. Even when it comes to these positions, people who do not feel a need for them are considered holy. According to these authorities, the Sages did not even speak of anal intercourse because it is forbidden. However, this interpretation is rejected by almost all poskim. Rema mentions the first two opinions and concludes, "Even though this is all permitted, anyone who sanctifies himself [by refraining from] what is permitted to him is considered holy" (EH 25:2).

In practice, the halakha follows those who are lenient, as they are in the majority. Furthermore, according to most poskim the entire discussion relates to a rabbinic prohibition (because it is not truly a violation of the prohibition against wasting seed, as masturbation would be for a man). On the contrary, if this brings the husband joy and satisfaction, it has value and is a mitzva. Certainly, then, if both husband and wife enjoy it, it is a fulfillment of the mitzva of ona according to most poskim. Rav Kook wrote similarly in his explanation of the lenient opinion: "Even in this manner, when done occasionally, since the Torah permits it according to this opinion, it is considered something of a mitzva as it helps satisfy the husband, and therefore is not really a waste [of seed]" ( Ezrat Kohen §35).

[20]. According to Kalla Rabbati 1:23, "He on the bottom and she on top - this is impudent." Several Rishonim cite this (Raavad, Sha'ar Ha-kedusha; Ohel Mo'ed; Sefer Ha-eshkol; Menorat Ha-ma'or; and Tur). SA 240:5 cites it as well, as do many Aḥaronim. Sefer Ḥasidim §509 limits the admonition to mikveh night, when it is more likely that the woman will conceive. This is also the approach of Birkei Yosef 240:7 and Da'at Torah 240:5.

In contrast, most Rishonim, and Rambam foremost among them, do not record the admonition at all. As Rabbeinu Yeruḥam writes, "The case in Nedarim about a woman who said that she set a table and her husband turned it over, which the Sages ruled was permitted, was referring to anal intercourse. It does not mean that she was on top and he was beneath her, because that is certainly permitted, and she would not have been upset about it" ( Toldot Adam Ve-Ḥava, netiv 23, part 1). Zohar (II 259a) implies that the admonition is against positions where the husband faces his wife's back, "For it says, 'And he shall cling to his wife' (Bereishit 2:24) - specifically to his wife, not behind his wife." Ma'amar Mordechai 240:7 explains that the problem with the "impudent" position is that it seems like the woman is trying to dominate her husband, implying that if both spouses consent, it is permissible. In practice, since according to most poskim it is not forbidden to change from the missionary position, they may. Even those who are stringent view insistence on the missionary position as a pious practice, not a requirement, and some explain that the stringency applies only when there is no mutual consent. Therefore, a couple who wants to change from the missionary position may do so, and it is even a mitzva if it increases their pleasure. Nevertheless, when a couple is hoping to conceive, the pious practice is for them to defer to the stringent opinion and have sexual relations in the missionary position.

The Talmud relates that R. Yoḥanan b. Dahavai said, "The ministering angels told me four things.... Why are people born mute? Because [their fathers] kissed the vagina.... Why are people born blind? Because [their fathers] gazed at the vagina" ( Nedarim 20a). However, at the conclusion of the discussion, the Talmud states that this is a solitary opinion, whereas the Sages' opinion is that these practices are not prohibited ( ibid. 20b).

In practice, since most Rishonim are lenient, and even those who forbid it agree that the prohibition is rabbinic, it is not prohibited. However, because most Rishonim feel that modesty and holiness make it preferable to be stringent, it is proper to show concern for their opinion (Rema, EH 25:2). However, if one spouse finds it very enjoyable, and their enjoyment will be marred without it, then the joy of the mitzva of ona overrides the stringent opinions, and the couple should follow the majority of the poskim. If they wish to be stringent, they can refrain from this when there is a possibility of conception. If either spouse finds it repulsive, they should follow the stringent view.

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The mitzva of ona is independent of the mitzva of procreation. It is fulfilled through marital sexual relations even when they cannot lead to pregnancy, such as when the wife is pregnant or nursing, or when she is after menopause (above, 1:4).

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https://www.aish.com/sp/f/48968911.html

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https://www.aish.com/sp/f/Five_Levels_of_Pleasure.html

Life is full of pleasures. But some are a quantum leap above the rest.

What pleasures does a parent want his children to enjoy? Good food, fun vacations, tennis, music. Wonderful!

But when they turn 25 and would still rather play tennis than work, you start thinking, "Get on with your life, already." It's nice to enjoy an occasional game of tennis, but life has got to offer more than just "fun." You'd like your children to have a meaningful career, to get married, to have children.

If they turn 35 and they are playing tennis day and night, you're screaming, "Help!"

Judaism says that God is our Father in Heaven, and we are His children. Just like any parent, God wants His children to enjoy life's pleasures.

There are five different levels of pleasure - each a class unto itself.

The Pleasure Plane

The different classes of pleasure can be compared to seats on an airplane. The best way to travel is first class. The second best way? Second class. Of course nobody wants to think of themselves as traveling second class, so they call it Business Class, Executive Class, or Ambassador Class.

Third class? That's Tourist, Coach, or Economy.

What's fourth class? They put you down below with the animals in the baggage compartment.

Fifth class? They give you a rope and say, "Hang on!"

Everybody would rather travel first class. But some people never figure out how. They travel their whole life in fifth class, just barely hanging on. And, the sad thing is, sometimes it becomes too hard and they let go.

The Measure of Pleasure

Each of these five classes of pleasures is so unique that you cannot exchange 10 units of fifth class pleasure for even one unit of fourth class pleasure. If you were starving, would you trade a good meal for a sky view of Manhattan? Would you trade the love of your life for a beach front home on the Riviera?

One pleasure cannot be measured against another. So how do you assign a value to any given pleasure?

Imagine pleasure as horsepower, giving you energy.

Imagine pleasure as horsepower. Pleasure gives you energy. If you have pleasure, you are raring to go with the confidence to tackle difficult jobs. You can put up with a lot of aggravation, because the power you get from pleasure propels you.

In trying to evaluate the worth of a given pleasure, ask yourself: When I eat ice cream, how much pleasure, how much energy, do I get from it? If I listen to music, how much energy do I get? If I love someone, how energized does that make me feel? Is that more, or less, than eating an ice cream cone? That's a rational way of measuring it.

Counterfeit Pleasures

Sometimes, people believe they are getting real pleasure - but they get cheated. For example, sex is a real pleasure, but pornography is counterfeit. It only stimulates lust, and you end up depressed instead of energized. It may seem exciting at first, but excitement and energy are not the same and should not be confused.

The most widely sold counterfeit pleasure in the Western world is decadence. Here's why it is counterfeit:

When asked what is the opposite of pain, most people will say pleasure. But the absence of pain doesn't automatically equal pleasure!

The opposite of pain is not pleasure; the opposite of pain is comfort. Many people think the ultimate pleasure is a vacation in Hawaii - sacking out on a waterbed, a cool breeze wafting through the window, a tall drink, every muscle in your body relaxed. But don't let yourself fall asleep - because then you'll miss the whole thing!

Sleep and comfort is painless. But that is not the goal of living!

In reality, pain is the price you pay for pleasure. If you want to graduate college and get a good job, you have to study hard. If you want to become an Olympic gold-medal champion, you have to experience the pain of sore muscles. You are not going to get there on a beach in Hawaii.

Equating comfort with pleasure is counterfeit. Real pleasure comes only as a result of effort.

The Price of Pleasure

To succeed in the pursuit of pleasure, you have to focus on the pleasure and not on the effort.

Imagine a team of basketball players, running around the court, pushing themselves to the limit. Do they notice the pain they're feeling? Barely. The pleasure of playing overwhelms any other feeling.

Now what if you asked them to conduct the following experiment:

"Play basketball normally - run, jump, shoot, and defend. But this time do it without the ball!"

How long do you think they could play for? Maybe five minutes? Without the ball, there is nothing to distract them from the effort. Every step now seems painful.

Give them back the ball, and they'll play for another two hours!

In life, keep your eye on the ball. Focus on the goal - and turn every effort into a pleasure.

Learning to Enjoy Pleasure

We think that pleasure should come automatically. But it's not so simple. Just like you can't fully enjoy music without taking a course in music appreciation, so too you have to learn all about pleasures.

If we wouldn't guzzle vintage wine, shouldn't we accord the same respect to life itself?

It's like wine tasting. Wine is far more than a liquid that wets your mouth and gets you tipsy. If you want to be a connoisseur, first you have to examine the cork. Then you test the color of the wine. Then you swish it around the glass. (That's called "checking the legs.") Then you smell the bouquet. Only then do you taste the wine, savoring it slowly, letting the taste and texture permeate all the different taste zones of your mouth.

Our world is rich with bounty and treasures. Sights and smells. Relationships and energies. Potential and achievement. If we wouldn't guzzle vintage wine, then shouldn't we accord the same respect to life itself?

In summary, remember the three criteria that apply to all classes of pleasure:

There is no exchange rate between the various levels of pleasure.

Watch out for counterfeit pleasures.

For every pleasure, the price tag is effort.

Fifth Class Pleasure

Fifth class pleasure is the most basic and available. It's physical and material pleasure. Good food, nice clothes, comfortable home, pleasant music, beautiful scenery. This includes anything that involves the "five senses."

God made the physical world for us to enjoy. The Talmud says that if a person has the opportunity to taste a new fruit and refuses to do so, he will have to account for that in the next world.

What's so special about fruits? God could have created bland mush with all the vitamins and minerals necessary for our survival. But fruits are the dessert the Almighty made for us. It's a labor of love. Can you imagine making a scrumptious dinner for a loved one and then he refuses to try it?! But there is a difference between tasting fruits and gorging fruits. And this is the counterfeit of fifth class pleasure - too much of a good thing. When you partake of fifth class pleasure without savoring this gift, you end up not being able to enjoy it. Wine is wonderful in moderation; guzzling a whole bottle will make you throw up. Stuffing your face with food leaves you feeling lowered by the experience, not energized.

The key is awareness. When you are aware, you won't lose control and allow your appetites to rule over you.

This does not mean to suggest ascetism or celibacy. Physical pleasures are from God and are meant to be enjoyed. Sex is considered one of the holiest acts we can perform. In fact, the Hebrew word for the marriage ceremony - kiddushin - comes from the word kadosh, meaning "holy." That's why on Shabbat, the holiest day of the week, the Talmud specifically enjoins couples to have marital relations.

Enjoy all the physical aspects of this world. That's the fifth class pleasure which God, Our Father, created for His children to enjoy.

Fourth Class Pleasure

As we said earlier, there is no exchange rate. No amount of fifth class pleasure can buy you even one morsel of fourth class pleasure.

What is worth more than all the money in the world?

Love.

Here's proof:

Imagine Mr. Schwartz, an investment banker in a major Wall Street financial firm. He spends most of his days trying to reach his lifelong goal of earning $10 million. He and his wife have three kids.
One day, a wealthy philanthropist named Cohen decides to make Schwartz a very generous offer. Cohen says, "You're spending your whole life trying to make $10 million dollars. So I'll give you the biggest shortcut of your financial career. I'll give you $10 million dollars right now for the right to adopt one of your children. Your child will have the best of everything. The only condition is that you will have to break off all contact - you will not be able to see or hear from your child again."

What does Schwartz say? His financial dream in an instant! But to give up a child? Impossible. "No deal. Get out of my office."

Ten million dollars. A mind-boggling amount of fifth class pleasure won't induce him to sell one child. Love is not worth trading for any amount of money.

But how much time does Schwartz spend with his children? If they are so precious, why does he forgo this pleasure of loving his kids?

After his encounter with Cohen, Schwartz has a flash of inspiration: "I have to spend more time with my treasures!" He buzzes his secretary and announces he's taking a two week vacation to spend with his kids.
Schwartz rushes home. After struggling for an hour to get the stroller open, he finally makes it to the park. He and the kids are having a grand time. But then comes dinner, bath and story time. After enduring food fights, floods in the bathtub and endless readings of "Babar Goes to the Circus," Schwartz flops down on the couch, turns to his wife and says, "Perhaps I was a bit hasty taking that two week vacation..."

Learning to Love

Schwartz knows that his children are more valuable than $10 million. But he doesn't know how to enjoy this pleasure.

The first step is to get a definition of "love."

The Talmud defines love as the emotional pleasure we get when focusing on the virtues of another. If you do that, then even if the kids are throwing meatballs across the room, you can still love them (and discipline them at the same time).

Without a clear understanding of what love is, all you'll be able to focus on is the effort and pain involved in raising kids, and you'll come to conclude that it's just too taxing.

What is the average parent's greatest "pleasure?" Their children.

What is the average parent's greatest "pain?" Also their children.

It's not an accident that a parent's greatest pleasure is also the source of his or her greatest pain. Because the greater the pleasure, the greater the effort required.

Therefore, if you want to succeed in life, the key is not to eliminate pain entirely - that is impossible. Rather, focus on the pleasure which you receive as a reward for all that effort.

The counterfeit of love is the notion that it is effort-free - something that just happens to you. Love is a stroke of fate with no rhyme or reason. You don't work on loving people. It either happens or it doesn't. Therefore just as easily as you "fall in love," you can "fall out of love."

Bob and Sue are alone in the park, walking beneath the full moon. Cupid flies by and shoots an arrow. Presto - Bob and Sue are madly in love!
They get married, have kids, a big house, a heavy mortgage. Bob works hard to pay the bills, staying overtime at the office. While Bob is working late one night with his secretary Carol, Cupid sneaks up and shoots another arrow. Boing! Now Bob's in love with Carol.

Bob returns home to Susie and proclaims, "I fell in love with the secretary. But what can I do, honey, the bum shot me!"

Out goes Susie, in comes Carol.

The problem? Bob did not delve into an exploration of character and then fall in love after coming to a deep understanding of who she is. Bob's love is not based on commitment and effort to reveal virtues.

The more intimate the knowledge, the more you can love.

The Bible says that "Adam knew his wife Eve." Love is built on knowledge. The more intimate the knowledge, the more you can love.

But the Western world thinks that love is not something you choose, love is something you are a "victim of." So if you want to stay married, all you can do is hope that you don't get shot by Cupid again! Is it any surprise that there is a 50 percent rate of divorce?

Infatuation is not love, it's just physical attraction, the counterfeit. Real love is forever.

We see this in the relationship between parents and children. No parent ever gets up in the morning and decides: "I've decided I like the neighbors' kids better. They don't cough at night, and they get better math scores. You kids get out. The neighbors are moving in."

Crazy, right? We don't fall out of love with our kids, because we're committed to loving them.

How do you know if you are in love or infatuated? If you hear yourself saying, "He's perfect," or "She's perfect!" then beware! That's not reality. That's a sure sign of infatuation.

Real love takes work. You have to be willing to make the effort.

Third Class Pleasure

What in the world could compel someone to give up what they love most dearly?

A cause. The drive to do make a difference in the world. The desire for greater meaning in life. The need to do the right thing.

Imagine that terrorists have taken a plane hostage and they turn to you: "Kill all the other passengers, or we will kill you and your children."
You still cannot do it. You cannot kill innocent people even if it means saving your own family. You'd rather die.

In Judaism we say: If you don't know what you are willing to die for, then you haven't begun to live. Otherwise you are merely playing a game. If you don't have meaning in your life, then all the physical enjoyments, the beautiful vacations and even the wonderful spouse and children, can make you feel that something is missing.

Learning to Appreciate Goodness

It takes great effort to be a genuinely good person. But most people never reach this goal. They end up being "not bad" - that is, they don't murder, steal, or commit adultery. But being good is much more than just "being not bad."

So why don't we try? Because the responsibility involved seems like a burden instead of a pleasure.

You are on vacation in New York City, sightseeing in one of those excursion boat rides around Manhattan Island. As you are admiring the Statue of Liberty, one of the other sightseers falls off the boat. He can't swim - he's drowning. So you jump into the East River - filthy with garbage, dead fish - but you don't care, you are trying to save a life. You grab him, he struggles - you go under the murky water - finally he stops struggling, but now he is heavy as lead - you pull him with all your might - you are gasping, the water stinks.
Finally, after what seems like eternity, you drag him to the shore. People are there to lend a hand, and an ambulance takes the drowning victim to the hospital. Thank God, he's alive, coughing and spitting a little murky water, but he's gonna be okay. You go back to your hotel and take a dozen showers to wash off the muck and smell of rotting fish. You say, "I'm never coming back here for the rest of my life!"

Now 30 years and 100 vacations later, what is your most memorable vacation? It was the time the guy fell off the boat and you saved a life!

It's great to take pleasure in doing a good thing in retrospect. But why not proactively look for the opportunity to do good? And even more - focus on the good you while you are doing it! Wouldn't that be some pleasure high?

Looking Good vs. Being Good

Sometimes people will perform acts of courage that are really stupid. Kids play "Russian Roulette" or "Chicken" and they get killed. They get confused and think they are doing the noble thing. This is one counterfeit of third class pleasure.

Western society has another version of counterfeit third class pleasure: financial success. You can be a good husband, a good friend, a loyal human being, a thinker, and an intellectual - but if you haven't made a lot of money, you are a failure.

A few years ago, a Brink's delivery truck lost several bags of money. The back door flew open and millions of dollars tumbled into the street, scattering the money in the wind. Everybody grabbed what they could. But there was one fellow who walked into the bank and returned $50,000.

The press interviewed his father, who said: "My son is a wimp!" And they interviewed one of his fellow workers, who said, "God gave him a gift, and the idiot gave it back."

"I'm a stockbroker, a vice president of marketing, a Harvard graduate."

The counterfeit of "being good" is "looking good." Too many people expend enormous effort trying to win the admiration of others. That's why people so readily identify themselves by profession or career. "I'm a stockbroker, a vice president of marketing, a Harvard graduate." If others are impressed, it reassures us that we're important.

Don't fall for "looking" good. True goodness comes from doing the right thing.

What made Alfred Nobel, the wealthy Swedish businessman, establish the Nobel Prize?

Nobel was the inventor of dynamite and one of the world's largest producers of explosives. When his brother died, the local newspaper made a mistake and printed Alfred's obituary instead of his brother's. When Alfred Nobel read it and saw that his life amounted to so much destruction and killing, he was devastated. "This is my life?! I've got to do something good." It was then that he decided to establish the Nobel Prize for those who do good in the world.

Second Class Pleasure

Second class pleasure can be best identified by its counterfeit. For what goal will people sacrifice innocent lives? To obtain power.

Stalin, Idi Amin, Hitler - a long list of tyrants were willing to kill millions to get power. To create a Communist state. To create a world dominated by the pure Aryan race. But that kind of power is counterfeit. That power only destroys.

True second class pleasure is the power of creativity. For example, the artist has control over his eye, his arm, and the paint, in order to translate his ideas into reality. He takes inert matter and turns into something productive, useful, beautiful.

But people sometimes make the mistake of going for forced control. The dictator is manipulating the pieces, but in the process is destroying lives and society. It's only an illusion of creativity.

The way to tell if you are creating or controlling is by the result. Creativity gives other people pleasure. Control leads to destruction.

Which would you rather be: a worker or the boss? Even though a company cannot function without workers, there is greater satisfaction in being the boss. Rather than simply following orders, you have the power to create, to direct, to plan and to conceive. You tap into the source of creative power - wisdom and understanding.

Similarly, one of the greatest forms of second class pleasure is creating a family: giving birth to children, then inculcating them with values, and molding them into healthy, productive, caring individuals.

Why is creativity such a thrill? Because it touches the essence of God. The ultimate expression of creativity was God's creation of the world. He made something from absolutely nothing. Only an Infinite Being can do that. Expressing our own creativity is a taste of that power.

First Class Pleasure

Imagine someone who has mastered the four classes of pleasure. She enjoys enormous wealth and material pleasures, a beautiful loving family, meaning in life, power used to create good in the world. Yet there's still something missing.

An encounter with God.

No human being is totally satisfied unless she's in touch with the transcendent dimension. When all is said and done, what we each seek is to reach out of this finite world and connect with the infinite. To become one with God.

What if I said to you, "I have a room where you can sit down and speak to God Almighty Himself for an hour." Wouldn't you jump at the chance? Wouldn't that be the ultimate experience?

It would be awesome.

We've all had moments when we've been struck by the awesomeness of life - the birth of a baby, seeing the stars above us, watching a lightning storm. It takes our breath away.

Awe is the experience of merging our small, relatively insignificant selves with something much greater. We break beyond our own limitations and connect to the unity of God.

First class pleasure is incomparable to any other experience. Nothing finite, nothing bound up in this world, can compare to the infinite.

Gratitude Attitude

For the greatest pleasure, we have to pay the greatest price. Gratitude.

In order to connect with God, you have to learn to appreciate all the good He has done for you. That means giving up the illusion that you alone are responsible for your achievements. It's all a gift from God. Just as every stroke of Picasso's brush has his signature on it, everything in this world has God's signature on it. We have to learn to appreciate it.

Everything in this world has God's signature on it.

If you make the effort to appreciate the gifts God has bestowed upon you, then you'll have such a keen awareness of God's presence that everything you do is accompanied by a sense of His love and guidance. You'll be overwhelmed above and beyond any other pleasure possible.

In fact, this is the ultimate goal for which man was created. We were put on earth in order to overcome the illusions and use our free will to build a relationship with God. He could have made robots, but God doesn't want that. He wants a real relationship - which means we have to choose it.

Why is gratitude such a difficult awareness to sustain? Because a human being's ego always craves recognition and independence. We balk at the concept of indebtedness. We prefer to believe we've done it ourselves!

Another counterfeit of first class pleasure is thinking that someone or something else is providing for our needs. If you think your career or your lover is the bottom line that will fulfill your needs, then you are mistaken. Because all those things can disappear. Only God has absolute power and only God is Eternal!

Reaching for the Stars

Imagine the launch of a rocket ship. When the fifth stage ignites there is lift-off. In the fourth stage of ignition, the rocket pierces the atmosphere at 100 miles per second. The third stage propels the rocket into orbit. The second stage puts the rocket on a path to a specific destination. And finally, the first stage lands you on the moon.

So too with the five levels of pleasure. Fifth stage is physical pleasure, giving you energy for lift-off. But if you don't get to fourth stage - marriage, children, love - plop. But what really puts you into orbit is self-respect, meaning, and doing good in the world. Once you're in orbit, you still need the propulsion of second stage - power - to hurl you toward your destination. And finally, the first stage is living with God.

In Judaism, Shabbat represents our opportunity to enjoy all the classes of pleasure in one day. First you have a table set with a beautiful white tablecloth, the best china and silverware, flowers, a brightly lit candelabra, delicious food and wine. That's fifth class pleasure, lift-off. Then, you give your children a blessing and some hugs and kisses, and as you all sit down around the table together, the warmth of family shines. You have love, fourth class pleasure, and you are traveling a mile a minute. If you sing some inspirational songs and speak words of Torah, then you understand the meaning and depth of the day, and you're now in orbit. If you know what your goals in life are, that's the power of second class pleasure. And then you reach the purpose of the day - connection with God.

Know what you're living for. The Almighty created us to have pleasure. It's hard work to be an Olympic runner, and it's even harder work to become a champion human being. But you weren't born for comfort. You were born to have pleasure. So make a decision. Travel first class.

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https://www.aish.com/sp/f/Five_Levels_of_Pleasure.html Life is full of pleasures. But some are a quantum leap above the rest. What pleasures does a parent want his children to enjoy? Good food, fun vacations, tennis, music. Wonderful! But when they turn 25 and would still rather play tennis than work, you start thinking, "Get on with your life, already."

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https://www.aish.com/atr/Pleasure.html

I could scarcely believe my eyes when I read your claim that Judaism teaches that the purpose of life is to seek pleasure. How can you, as a rabbi, be serious?

Judaism teaches no such thing. In the deepest sense, Judaism teaches that the purpose of life - the purpose of the world, the universe, and of God Himself - is ultimately beyond human understanding. In the more mundane sense, people do have a purpose, but seeking pleasure falls far behind doing what is right, just, and kind (whether or not doing so is pleasurable). Judaism does teach that there is nothing wrong with pleasure in itself, but it DOES NOT make pleasure the central point of living!

On what basis do you make this outrageous, unbelievable, and stridently non-Jewish claim?

Perhaps we need to define our terms. What is "pleasure"?

Every creature in the universe is programmed to pursue pleasure. The wolf seeks meat, the bear seeks warmth. That is an indisputable fact, and that's the way God wants it.

Human were created for pleasure, too. But unlike other creatures, humans have the ability to tap into their spiritual soul, and to pursue pleasure which is beyond the physical. That includes love, meaning, power, sacrifice for a cause, goodness, etc.

For example, the fact that a human will choose to give charity (instead of using that money to buy pizza), does NOT mean the person is giving up pleasure. Rather, they are trading a lower pleasure for a higher pleasure. The pleasure of helping others is perceived as having more value than another slice of pizza.

It's interesting that humans are the only species who will trade physical pleasure for a higher spiritual pleasure. (You will never see the wolf saying, "C'mon, guys, let's not push in line. And be sure to save some meat for Charlie, he's not feeling well today.") That's because only humans have a spiritual, Godly soul, which enables us to transcend the finitude of the physical world and to strive for the ultimate pleasure: the unity of One God.

* * *

Yet why is "doing the right thing" so often perceived as non-pleasurable? Because it can be uncomfortable to make such choices.

Pain is actually the price we pay for pleasure. All of life's lasting pleasures - good relationships, successful careers, the pursuit of meaning - require a lot of pain and effort to achieve. When an Olympic athlete pushes beyond the limits of endurance, he's in a lot of pain! But he does so because he is focused on the higher pleasure; in this case, victory.

The proof that humans are made for pleasure is that the Torah says: "And God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden" (Genesis 2:8). The word "Eden," according to the famous commentator Radak (among others), is the "Garden of Pleasure."

You are correct that in the final analysis, the world is beyond our understanding. But the Almighty gave us a measure of intelligence, and He wants us to figure things out the best we can.

So perhaps your question is only one of semantics. For a fuller Jewish definition of "pleasure," read "The Five Levels of Pleasure" by Rabbi Noah Weinberg.

More Questions

Featured at Aish.com

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https://www.aish.com/atr/Pleasure.html I could scarcely believe my eyes when I read your claim that Judaism teaches that the purpose of life is to seek pleasure. How can you, as a rabbi, be serious? Judaism teaches no such thing.

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*Sefaria sheet: Sexual Pleasure in Judaism

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*Sefaria sheet: Sexual Pleasure in Judaism

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https://www.sefaria.org/sheets/49107?lang=bi

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Life loses its magic when it loses its eroticism. That thirsty desire to uncover the mystery of all life has to teach us is noticeably absent from our being. It is undeniable that the metaphor chosen by the Bible (in Song of Songs) to convey these religious insights is that of a highly erotically charged relationship between two people.

God is a burning, raging vibrant inferno. Moses encounters God in a burning bush. The Jews are led through the wilderness of Sinai by a pillar of fire. And in our relationship with God, and with all things outside us, we need to find passion! The Song of Songs challenges us to feel for God and life what two people feel for each other in the heat of passion.

Great sex has you focused entirely on the body of your partner; kosher sex has you bound with the soul of your lover.

Great sex promotes physical exhilaration; kosher sex leads to spiritual integration.

Great sex satisfies a hormonal urge for sexual release; kosher sex caters to a spiritual need for human fusion with another soul.

Great sex consists entirely of motions; kosher sex consists of motions that elicit lasting emotions.

Great sex is making friction; kosher sex is making love.

Great sex is measured while you're in bed together with your partner; kosher sex is measured in the period thereafter, when you are physically apart but emotionally close.

Great sex can be had even while all one's barriers and inhibitions are still up; kosher sex is humans at their most vulnerable, when their defenses are down and their heart exposed.

Great sex is an end to an encounter; kosher sex is the beginning of a relationship.

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Sexual Pleasure in Judaism: Who's giving it, Who's getting it & Why it's so important | Sefaria

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Life loses its magic when it loses its eroticism. That thirsty desire to uncover the mystery of all life has to teach us is noticeably absent from our being. It is undeniable that the metaphor chosen by the Bible (in Song of Songs) to convey these religious insights is that of a highly erotically charged relationship between two people.

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What the Zohar teaches about love-making and the coming of the messiah.

"Please do not forget to let people know what the Baal Shem Tov said about the reason that Mashiach's [messiah] coming is delayed," the rabbi told us.

The year was 2005. My partner Dawn Cherie and I had just decided to launch KabaLove, a school of love and Jewish mysticism, and we had come to the home of our teacher, Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, to ask for his blessing.

Reb Zalman was referring to a passage from Toldot Yaakov Yosef, the first book to record the mystical teachings of the Baal Shem Tov, who would later be considered the founder of the Hasidic movement. His disciple, Rabbi Yaakov Yosef of Polnonne, writes:

I have received the teaching from my master the Baal Shem Tov, what he himself was told from the heavens, the reason for the late coming of Mashiach, because people do not take a long enough time in Ahavah Rabba (Great Love) in the secret of kissing before intercourse, to arouse the desire of the female so she will orgasm first. (Toldot Ya'akov Yosef, Parashat Va'era)

The Orthodox way of understanding this statement is that the Baal Shem Tov was not talking about human love-making at all. He was talking about the blessing known as Ahavah Rabba (Great Love), which is part of the morning prayers. What he was saying is that people do not take enough time in this part of the prayers - not in bed!

Indeed, in Kabbalah prayer is seen as a process of love-making between the feminine and masculine aspects of the divine. The silent part of prayer is considered a time of divine intercourse, while all the blessings that come prior to that are considered the kissing. According to many conservative rabbis, there is a danger when people who study Kabbalah take these sexual expressions literally rather than metaphorically.

Reb Zalman was of course aware of all this. He was also aware that if people follow the Baal Shem Tov's instructions in prayer, but not in bed, it is hollow and ridiculous. In fact, Reb Zalman was always making jokes about kabbalists who forgot that this life, in the flesh, is sacred - not only the letters in holy books.

What then is the secret of kissing? There is a wonderful teaching in the Zohar about this: "A kiss of love is spreading to the four directions, and the four directions are being connected by it as one." (Zohar V.2 146b)

The word in Hebrew for the four directions is ruach, which also means "wind" or "spirit." Kissing, according to the Zohar, is a unification of the four spirits of the lovers. All human beings, regardless of gender, have masculine and feminine energies within them, which are two spirits in the eyes of the Zohar. (Many Native American tribes traditionally related to LGBT people as "two-spirited people," yet the Zohar says we all are two-spirited.) The two spirits of each of the lovers gather through the kiss and become four spirits, which then open up to the four directions.

The Zohar goes on in that teaching to discuss how these four spirits unite into one and this one is the spirit of the messiah. This is what inspired the Baal Shem Tov's teaching. But what does it actually mean for us?

In my experience, both as a lover and as a teacher of sacred sexuality, when lovers reach a level of real intimacy, an inner feeling of redemption bursts out in the heart. Real intimacy shifts us from the world of separation, where our hearts suffer constantly, to the world of unity, where a deep aspect of our soul finally feels liberated.

In my understanding, that is the meaning of the spirit of the messiah revealed in a kiss. The messiah is not a person, but a high level of awareness that can be reached when our souls are awakened. Yet, for that to actually happen we need to take our time in the secret of kissing, falling deeper and deeper into union beyond our separate egos.

It is not enough to just kiss briefly and move on to sex. Are we rushing somewhere? Rushing to fulfill an aim is a more masculine quality, though it exists within us all. This quality is encouraged biologically by testosterone, the main male sexual hormone. Our inner feminine side is not rushing toward an aim. The feminine side is concerned more with being than with doing. "Because being is in the woman," says Sefer Hapli'ah, a Jewish mystical book from the 14th century.

When we take our time to connect deeply with the secret of kissing - sharing our breaths together, tasting and learning each other, seeing each other with open eyes, relaxing deeply into each other - the feminine side in us all feels seen and respected. As a result, she opens and her well drips with waters.

What the Baal Shem Tov learned from pure spiritual insight now has support from modern neuroscience. We know that for a woman to reach orgasm the amygdala, the part of the brain that constantly scans for potential dangers, needs to deeply relax first. The secrets of kissing with Great Love are a pathway to the relaxation of the amygdala, hence to woman's orgasmic waves.

In good love-making, there is no such thing as foreplay, there is only play. Consider seeing every single act of love as part of love-making, from the way lovers talk to each other when they have just met to the cuddling after the hot high of orgasmic ecstasy. It is all one long path of love. So kiss and take time in it. Let the lips sing the glory of the divine as they learn the taste and texture of your lover's divine body.

"Lord, open my lips so my mouth will recite your praise," the psalmist wrote. Make love-making a sacred ritual of sinking together into the divine realms by taking the slow road, the scenic route, not rushing to intercourse and not pushing toward orgasms. The Baal Shem Tov's advice can shift one's love life and enable a "messiah consciousness" to shine.
Want more? MJL's "Discovering Jewish Spirituality" email series will guide you through authentic Jewish methods of bringing spirituality into your everyday experience. Sign up here.

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The Kabbalistic Secret of Kissing | My Jewish Learning

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What the Zohar teaches about love-making and the coming of the messiah. "Please do not forget to let people know what the Baal Shem Tov said about the reason that Mashiach's [messiah] coming is delayed," the rabbi told us. The year was 2005.

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As an aspect of Jewish life, sexuality is considered to be a male religious obligation (concerning 'onah [sexual relations], procreation, and sexual satisfaction of one's wife) and source of human intimacy and pleasure; as a metaphor it has even been applied to fulfillment of divine-human relations in mystical thought. In the modern era, the Jewish legal system and society began to compete with the free professions and the state to define terms of sexual legitimacy and deviance.

Marriage was undoubtedly the most important framework for controlling sexuality, promoting procreation, and enforcing laws of family purity (tohorat ha-mishpaḥah), which required sexual abstinence when a woman was ritually impure (i.e., during menstruation). In the medieval and early modern period, the practice of early marriage (16 as the ideal age for girls and 18 for boys) was intended to provide a proper sexual outlet for those who might otherwise succumb to the "sins of youth" such as nocturnal emission, masturbation, or even premarital sex. Jewish communal authorities imposed strict controls over marriage not only to preserve sexual purity but also to maintain the existing social hierarchy. Wealthy families were especially fearful of female domestic servants who might seduce their sons into marriage.

The more common offenders, however, were not youth but individuals with sexual experience who were suddenly forced to be celibate, including widows, widowers, and 'agunot (women whose husbands denied them divorce or had disappeared), or traveling husbands. During the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, Polish rabbis such as Me'ir ben Gedalyah of Lublin (1558-1616) lamented the rise of sexual scandals, which some scholars have attributed to the more "permissive practices" encouraged by Italian Jewish immigrants. Communities also struggled to combat prostitution and illicit relations with non-Jews. In Prague, for instance, communal authorities issued a decree in 1611 to expel all women who "sell [their bodies]" because their "hidden sins" had allegedly resulted in great misfortunes such as the untimely deaths of adults and children. The decree forbade women to go alone to the homes of non-Jews without a chaperone and young girls to stroll on the streets alone. Although the decree also banned the use of prostitutes as wet nurses, it is unknown whether families actually complied with the ruling.

While the Jewish legal tradition prohibited promiscuity and prostitution, it was not unanimous about the nature of nonmarital sex. In contrast to those who defined licit sex exclusively within the framework of marriage, Mosheh Isserles entertained the possibility of a "steady faithful sexual relationship" with a woman outside of marriage as long as she observed the proper laws (Shulḥan 'arukh , Even ha-'ezer 26:1). As was the case with earlier authorities such as Naḥmanides, he viewed such a woman as the " pilegesh [faithful sexual companion] who is mentioned in the Bible." At the same time, Isserles did not condone nonmarital sex that violated (i.e., relations with a woman who did not immerse in a due to embarrassment). Scholars argue that despite discomfort with this view in modern times, it was customary for East European society to accept Isserles' first interpretation as the normative law. Shelomoh Luria (1510?-1573) also upheld this view although he did not encourage the practice. Similarly, in the nineteenth century, the Gaon of Vilna treated the "faithful sexual companion" as a legitimate "wife," albeit without the rights associated with a regular marriage.

Sexual conduct was also influenced by the popularization of Kabbalah and the emergence of new religious and sectarian movements starting in the seventeenth century. Kabbalah, which emphasized the impact of human activity on the divine realm, provided one model for sexuality in Eastern Europe. The notion that proper intercourse in the human realm could stimulate intercourse in the cosmic realm was especially prominent in Sabbatian thought. Although the Sabbatians and Frankists based their sexual mores on classic kabbalistic texts, they deviated from Kabbalah in their belief that rituals of transgressive sex (adultery, incest, orgies)-which they viewed as "imitations of unrestrained relations in the divine world"-could lead to cosmic redemption. Antinomian permissiveness often coexisted with strict asceticism in these messianic movements. For instance, Frankists in Offenbach led a disciplined life of sexual separation and abstinence, which they violated from time to time with secret orgies. The shock and dismay of the young people who were chosen to serve as sexual partners or sentries to guard the door during these rituals suggest that such acts were not a part of everyday life as commonly portrayed in the historiography.

The possibility of both celibacy and sexual licentiousness empowered women by expanding their roles and status in cultic life. On the one hand, female Sabbatian prophets such as the two daughters of Rabbi Aryeh Leib Shotin of Mattersdorf ( Hungary) could remain unmarried and devote themselves to Torah study and prophecy-an option limited only to elite Jewish men for a specified time within marriage. On the other hand, women could participate and even play a central role in cultic rituals. Witnesses against the Frankists who testified before the Jewish court in Satanów, for instance, accused Ḥayah Shor of Rohatyń ( Galicia) of committing adultery with various men with her husband's knowledge and permission, acts that her husband defined as commandments, mitsvot. In the case of Ewa Frank, she remained single and retained the title "Holy Maiden" in spite of her incestuous union with her father Jakub Frank during antinomian rituals.

Another kabbalistic model that influenced sexual behavior, especially among the Hasidim, was the notion of transforming a mundane human impulse into an elevated spiritual one. Hence, the Ba'al Shem Tov is portrayed as having encouraged sexual desire (such as contemplating the beauty of a woman) as an instrument to achieve a closer union with God. In contrast, some of his followers viewed sexual desire and pleasure as destructive forces to be suppressed or even annihilated into nothingness (bitul ha-yesh). Naḥman of Bratslav formulated an even more radical view that a true had to experience pain during the sexual act. A mystical theology that emphasized asceticism within marriages, some scholars argue, demanded sexual displacement from the human female to the divine. For instance, Hasidic sources (as well as anti-Hasidic polemics) likened the movement of swaying during prayer to the act of intercourse with the shekhinah (divine presence). In contrast, other scholars maintain that the cult of the shekhinah did not necessarily lead Hasidic men to displace marital intercourse completely; in fact, they still upheld the halakhic obligation to fulfill the sexual needs of an 'onah. In reality, however, long absences from home to make pilgrimages to the rebbe or to commune with other Hasidim inevitably affected sexual and emotional relations between Hasidic couples, as critics such as Yekhezkl Kotik and other maskilim were quick to observe.

The opponents of Hasidism, the , were quick to seize upon the extended absences of Hasidic men from their wives. Their anti-Hasidic polemics contained innuendos that during their pilgrimages to the rebbe, Hasidic men engaged in homosexual activities. In Shever posh'im, for example, one author accused the Hasidim of abandoning all sexual propriety (sleeping together, singing love songs) during the Ninth of Av in Amdur. However, David Biale suggests that perhaps the Misnagdim were only too aware that the same problem of sexual renunciation existed in their society as well. Students who traveled to distant yeshivas to study Torah also separated from their wives for long periods of time.

The pervasive influence of Kabbalah and magic also generated an intense preoccupation with the sin of keri (nocturnal emission) in Polish Jewish society in the eighteenth century. In contrast to rabbinic literature, which was more concerned about the ritual pollution of accidental seminal emissions, the Zohar and other kabbalistic works emphasized the destructive consequences for the human soul and the divine shekhinah. Men resorted to ba'ale shem (miracle workers) for amulets, chants, and inscriptions that could ward off female demons from the "other side" (sitra' aḥra') who could remove a man's soul by seducing him at night to cause a nocturnal emission. One historian suggests that the demographic increase of young men who had to delay marriage due to economic constraints in the eighteenth century may also have contributed to these sexual anxieties.

In the modern period, Jewish sexuality became a topic of intense interest and scrutiny as European nations began to establish a modern social order. Eighteenth-century Enlightenment thinkers and medical practitioners pronounced a harsh indictment of the physical condition of the Jews and their consequent lack of productivity. They argued that the "degenerate" state of the Jews-indicated by their poor biological development (low birth weight, infection, and weakness) and "unproductive" nature-could be attributed in part to the traditional practice of early marriage. The Polish Abraham Hirszowicz echoed these sentiments when he castigated the destructive cycle of economic dependence that developed in juvenile marriages when parents failed to teach their children a trade or profession. Proposals to abolish early marriage occupied center stage in the 's vision of a modern bourgeois Jewish family in tsarist Russia. Mordekhai Aharon Gintsburg, whose own wedding night had ended in failure, argued that premature marriages not only traumatized children who had not reached sexual maturity, but also contributed to a flawed gender system in which "feminine males" studied at home and "masculine females" conducted business in the marketplace, corrupting their morals.

Naomi Seidman argues that the trope of the feminized Jewish man whose life was shaped by a "homosocial structure" (i.e., synagogue, , and bathhouse) became a staple in Yiddish literature. For instance, in the novella Masoes Binyomin hashlishi (The Travels of Benjamin the Third; 1878), by S. Y. Abramovitsh (Mendele Moykher-Sforim) the protagonists, Senderl di Yidene (a derogatory term for a Jewish woman) and Benjamin, elope in a "quasi-marriage" to flee from their dominant wives in search of the 10 lost tribes.

For maskilim, only the constraints of bourgeois domesticity could "normalize" gender relations, restore a sense of Jewish "masculinity," and replace unrestrained sexual activity in traditional families with decorum and modesty. Victorian ideals of sexual respectability, however, had little influence on a society that lacked a strict division between public and private spheres upon which to delineate sexual identity and roles. In fact, until the early twentieth century, sexuality was still defined by laws of halakhah and traditional customs even as actual practices began to change due to socioeconomic challenges. The Jewish population in the Russian Empire boasted one of the lowest rates of illegitimate birth in 1897-0.3 percent compared with the national rate of 2.4 percent. To prevent future humiliation, unmarried girls who accidentally lost their virginity requested communal leaders to inscribe the event in a communal minute book. By the late nineteenth century, however, these norms began to lose their force with premarital sex, especially after a promise of marriage, becoming somewhat more common, though by no means widespread. This was in part due to the sharp rise in the age of first marriage as couples postponed nuptials due to economic constraints, military service, and higher education. Moreover, the experience of living away from home for domestic service, education, revolutionary activities, and so forth, led to greater social interaction between the sexes. As in most societies, women bore the brunt of social stigma for premarital pregnancies and found little sympathy either within the Jewish community or in secular Russian courts.

Changed modes of sexuality in Western Europe also meant a transfer of regulatory power in this realm from the absolutist state to the medical, legal, and pedagogical professions. New constructions of Jews as hypersexual, degenerate, and prone to disease permeated antisemitic literature, which selectively utilized "science" to popularize a racist ideology. Although Jewish intellectuals in the Russian Empire and Galicia were aware of these developments, they were much less inclined to internalize the critiques. To be sure, antisemitic images of Jews as rapacious sex traders and brothel owners were popularized by the press and by philosophers such as Vasilii Rozanov; nonetheless, the sexualized identity of the Jews based on "science" failed to take hold in Eastern Europe as it did in the West. Indeed, the close nexus between antisemitism and biological determinism never went far beyond the small circles of intellectuals in Eastern Europe. Moreover, medical practitioners in tsarist Russia rejected links between disease and moral disarray (for example, in their discussion of syphilis), which were used by doctors in the West to justify their role as "moral arbiters."

Jewish physicians and psychologists also employed Western medical discourse selectively, often in combination with more traditional views of sexuality. For instance, Mosheh Shtudenzki (Studenzki) of Warsaw, in his advice manual Rofe ha-yeladim (The Pediatrician; 1847), warned parents about masturbation, which he defined both as a "sin" caused by the evil impulse (yetser ha-ra') and a pathological disease that caused excessive weakness, paleness, and deterioration of memory. The psychiatric reports of the Jewish Hospital in Vilna in the early twentieth century routinely included a woman's reproductive history (dates and experiences of menstruation, birth, and sex) alongside questions about her religious and family life to diagnose mental illness.

While debates about sexuality remained largely theoretical, the intrusion of medicine into the legal sphere did have an impact on Jewish women's lives in the Russian Empire. State courts relied upon the collaboration of medical experts to expose women who violated the norms of sexual propriety or were victims of a sexual crime (such as rape). Perhaps the most intrusive, modern mechanism of control was the gynecological exam that a suspect was forced to undergo to determine her guilt or innocence. The meditsinskii akt (medical report) included in all the court files reveals that state practitioners carefully probed the female body for evidence of chastity, sexual activity, and birth with the use of the modern speculum (matochnoe zerkalo). Registered prostitutes, who possessed yellow identification tickets, were also forced to submit to regular medical inspections to prevent the spread of venereal diseases.

Educated society's desire to rehabilitate "fallen women" and to prevent further involvement in prostitution led to various philanthropic projects. Perhaps best known in the struggle against white slavery was Bertha Pappenheim, a German Jewish feminist activist who traveled to Eastern Europe to confront the issue directly. In Saint Petersburg, a group of Jewish philanthropists under the leadership of Baron Goratsii (Horace) Gintsburg created the Department for the Care of Jewish Girls in Saint Petersburg within the larger Russian Society for the Protection of Women in 1900. It provided medical care, employment assistance, leisure activities, and other services to young working Jewish women to protect them from "harmful influences" and "to support their moral development." In addition, Jewish members of the society participated actively in the drafting of antiprostitution statutes, which the State Duma passed in 1909, and in the congress on prostitution in Saint Petersburg in 1910.

Social fascination with sexology increased dramatically during the interwar years. In Poland, educated Jewish society avidly read the writings of Magnus Hirschfeld, Ben Lindsey, and other sexologists. In Warsaw, the Polish-language Jewish women's weekly newspaper Ewa: Tygodnik (Eva: A Weekly) routinely published frank articles about female sexual issues. Birth control as a woman's legal right became a galvanizing issue among Jewish feminists. Pauline Appenszlakowa (d. 1976), the editor of Ewa, openly criticized Orthodox attempts to promote greater fertility with the construction of a luxurious mikveh (ritual bathhouse) in 1932 during a period of widespread economic depression. Instead, her newspaper advocated voluntary motherhood, rational family planning, and the legality of abortions. While these demands met with criticism and ultimately failed when new Polish legislation banned abortions (except in the case of a mother's health or a pregnancy that resulted from rape) in 1932, Appenszlokowa and her supporters had introduced a different conceptualization of sexuality and gender power relations into Jewish society.

Although the exploration of the history of Jewish sexuality in Eastern Europe is still in its infancy, existing studies have shown not only a belated trajectory of "sexual modernization" but also unique developments that reflected the diverse religious, social, and cultural experiences in Eastern Europe.

Laurie Bernstein, Sonia's Daughters: Prostitutes and Their Regulation in Imperial Russia (Berkeley, 1995); David Biale, Eros and the Jews (New York, 1992), pp. 101-175; Michael J. Broyde, "Jewish Law and the Abandonment of Marriage: Diverse Models of Sexuality and Reproduction in the Jewish View, and the Return to Monogamy in the Modern Era," in Marriage, Sex, and Family in Judaism, pp. 88-115 (Lanham, Md., 2005); Laura Engelstein, The Keys to Happiness: Sex and the Search for Modernity in Fin-de-Siècle Russia (Ithaca, N.Y., 1992); Gershon David Hundert, Jews in Poland-Lithuania in the Eighteenth Century (Berkeley, 2004), pp. 119-159; Moshe Idel, Kabbalah and Eros (New Haven, 2005), pp. 153-250; Jacob Katz, "Nisuyim ve-ḥaye ishut be-motsa'e yeme ha-benayim," Tsiyon 10.1-2 (1945): 21-54; Eva Plach, "Feminism and Nationalism on the Pages of Ewa: Tygodnik, 1928-1933," Polin 18 (2005): 241-262; Ada Rapoport-Albert, "'Al ma'amad ha-nashim ba-shabta'ut," in Ha-Ḥalom ve-shivro: Ha-Tenu'ah ha-shabta'it u-sheluḥoteha; Meshiḥiyut, shabta'ut u-frankizm, ed. Rachel Elior, vol. 1, pp. 143-327 (Jerusalem, 2001); Naomi Seidman, "Theorizing Jewish Patriarchy in Extremis," in Judaism since Gender, ed. Miriam Peskowitz and Laura Levitt, pp. 40-48 (New York, 1997).

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As an aspect of Jewish life, sexuality is considered to be a male religious obligation (concerning 'onah [sexual relations], procreation, and sexual satisfaction of one's wife) and source of human intimacy and pleasure; as a metaphor it has even been applied to fulfillment of divine-human relations in mystical thought.

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The Passionate Torah, ed. Danya Ruttenberg

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The Passionate Torah, ed. Danya Ruttenberg

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Anyone have access to JStor through school?

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JSTOR is a digital library of academic journals, books, and primary sources.

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Sex and the Jews: How the Rabbis Made It Up as They Went Along

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Sex and the Jews: How the Rabbis Made It Up as They Went Along

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Sex and the Jews: How the rabbis made it up as they went along

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Editor's Note: This page addresses issues of Jewish law that may not be appropriate for younger readers. In places, it discusses sexual behavior in plain and frank terms. Please exercise appropriate discretion. This article is written from an Orthodox perspective on the topic.

Attitudes Toward Sexuality

In Jewish law, sex is not considered shameful, sinful or obscene. Sex is not a necessary evil for the sole purpose of procreation. Although sexual desire comes from the yetzer ra (the evil impulse), it is no more evil than hunger or thirst, which also come from the yetzer ra. Like hunger, thirst or other basic instincts, sexual desire must be controlled and channeled, satisfied at the proper time, place and manner. But when sexual desire is satisfied between a husband and wife at the proper time, out of mutual love and desire, sex is a mitzvah.

Sex is permissible only within the context of a marriage. In Judaism, sex is not merely a way of experiencing physical pleasure. It is an act of immense significance, which requires commitment and responsibility. The requirement of marriage before sex ensures that sense commitment and responsibility. Jewish law also forbids sexual contact short of intercourse outside of the context of marriage, recognizing that such contact will inevitably lead to intercourse.

The primary purpose of sex is to reinforce the loving marital bond between husband and wife. The first and foremost purpose of marriage is companionship, and sexual relations play an important role. Procreation is also a reason for sex, but it is not the only reason. Sex between husband and wife is permitted (even recommended) at times when conception is impossible, such as when the woman is pregnant, after menopause, or when the woman is using a permissible form of contraception.

In the Torah, the word used for sex between husband and wife comes from the root Dalet-Ayin-Tav, meaning "to know," which vividly illustrates that proper Jewish sexuality involves both the heart and mind, not merely the body.

Nevertheless, Judaism does not ignore the physical component of sexuality. The need for physical compatibility between husband and wife is recognized in Jewish law. A Jewish couple must meet at least once before the marriage, and if either prospective spouse finds the other physically repulsive, the marriage is forbidden.

Sex should only be experienced in a time of joy. Sex for selfish personal satisfaction, without regard for the partner's pleasure, is wrong and evil. A man may never force his wife to have sex. A couple may not have sexual relations while drunk or quarreling. Sex may never be used as a weapon against a spouse, either by depriving the spouse of sex or by compelling it. It is a serious offense to use sex (or lack thereof) to punish or manipulate a spouse.

Sex is the woman's right, not the man's. A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it. The woman's right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and is one of a wife's three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce. The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation, although this obligation can be modified in the ketubah (marriage contract). A man may not take a vow to abstain from sex for an extended period of time, and may not take a journey for an extended period of time, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations. In addition, a husband's consistent refusal to engage in sexual relations is grounds for compelling a man to divorce his wife, even if the couple has already fulfilled the halakhic obligation to procreate.

Although sex is the woman's right, she does not have absolute discretion to withhold it from her husband. A woman may not withhold sex from her husband as a form of punishment, and if she does, the husband may divorce her without paying the substantial divorce settlement provided for in the ketubah.

Although some sources take a more narrow view, the general view of halakhah is that any sexual act that does not involve sh'chatat zerah (destruction of seed, that is, ejaculation outside the vagina) is permissible. As one passage in the Talmud states, "a man may do whatever he pleases with his wife." In fact, there are passages in the Talmud that encourage foreplay to arouse the woman.

Niddah: The Laws of Separation

One of the most mysterious areas of Jewish sexual practices is the law of niddah, separation of husband and wife during the woman's menstrual period. These laws are also known as taharat ha-mishpachah, family purity. Few people outside of the Orthodox community are even aware that these laws exist, which is unfortunate, because these laws provide many undeniable benefits. The laws of niddah are not deliberately kept secret; they are simply unknown because most non-Orthodox Jews do not continue their religious education beyond bar mitzvah, and these laws address subjects that are not really suitable for discussion with children under the age of 13.

According to the Torah, a man is forbidden from having sexual intercourse with a niddah, that is, a menstruating woman. The law of niddah is the only law of ritual purity that continues to be observed to day. At one time, a large portion of Jewish law revolved around questions of ritual purity and impurity. All of the other laws had significance in the time of the Temple, but are not applicable today.

The time of separation begins at the first sign of blood and ends in the evening of the woman's seventh "clean day." This separation lasts a minimum of 12 days. The rabbis broadened this prohibition, maintaining that a man may not even touch his wife or sleep in the same bed as her during this time. Weddings must be scheduled carefully, so that the woman is not in a state of niddah on her wedding night.

At the end of the period of niddah, as soon as possible after nightfall after the seventh clean day, the woman must immerse herself in a kosher mikvah, a ritual pool. The mikvah was traditionally used to cleanse a person of various forms of ritual impurity. Today, it is used almost exclusively for this purpose and as part of the ritual of conversion. It is important to note that the purpose of the mikvah is solely ritual purification, not physical cleanliness; in fact, immersion in the mikvah is not valid unless the woman is thoroughly bathed before immersion. The mikvah is such an important part of traditional Jewish ritual life that a new community will build a mikvah before they build a synagogue.

The Torah does not specify the reason for the laws of niddah, but this period of abstention has both physical and psychological benefits.

The fertility benefits of this practice are obvious and undeniable. In fact, it is remarkable how closely these laws parallel the advice given by medical professionals today. When couples are having trouble conceiving, modern medical professionals routinely advise them to abstain from sex during the two weeks around a woman's period (to increase the man's sperm count at a time when conception is not possible), and to have sex on alternate nights during the remaining two weeks.

In addition, women who have sexual intercourse during their menstrual period are more vulnerable to a variety of vaginal infections, as well as increased risk of cervical cancer.

But the benefits that the rabbis have always emphasized are the psychological ones, not the physical ones. The rabbis noted that a two-week period of abstention every month forces a couple to build a non-sexual bond as well as a sexual one. It helps to build the couple's desire for one another, making intercourse in the remaining two weeks more special. It also gives both partners a chance to rest, without feeling sexually inadequate. They also emphasized the value of self-discipline in a drive as fundamental as the sexual drive.

Birth Control

In principle, birth control is permitted, so long as the couple is committed to eventually fulfilling the mitzvah to be fruitful and multiply (which, at a minimum, consists of having two children, one of each gender).

The issue in birth control is not whether it is permitted, but what method is permitted. It is well-established that methods that destroy the seed or block the passage of the seed are not permitted, thus condoms are not permitted for birth control. However, the pill is well-recognized as an acceptable form of birth control under Jewish law. I have also heard some say that a condom would be permitted under Jewish law to prevent the transmission of AIDS or similar diseases, because preserving the life of the uninfected spouse takes priority; however, I am not certain how authoritative this view is. If this is an issue for you, you should consult a competent rabbinic authority.

Abortion in Judaism

Jewish law not only permits, but in some circumstances requires abortion. Where the mother's life is in jeopardy because of the unborn child, abortion is mandatory.

An unborn child has the status of "potential human life" until the majority of the body has emerged from the mother. Potential human life is valuable, and may not be terminated casually, but it does not have as much value as a life in existence. The Talmud makes no bones about this: it says quite bluntly that if the fetus threatens the life of the mother, you cut it up within her body and remove it limb by limb if necessary, because its life is not as valuable as hers. But once the greater part of the body has emerged, you cannot take its life to save the mother's, because you cannot choose between one human life and another.

Promiscuity & Pre-Marital Sex

Many people are surprised to learn that the Torah does not prohibit premarital sex. I challenge you to find any passage in the Jewish scriptures that forbits a man from having consensual sexual relations with any woman he could legally marry. It's just not there!

Nor is there any passage that requires a man to marry a woman after having consensual sexual relations with her. The passage forcing a man to marry the woman deals with rape (the man seizes her). It says nothing about consensual relations. Some say that consensual sexual relations create a common law marriage, which can only be dissolved through divorce, though the law on this point is not clear.

This is not to suggest that Judaism approves of pre-marital sex or promiscuity. Quite the contrary: traditional Judaism strongly condemns the irresponsibility of sex outside of marriage. It is considered to be improper and immoral, even though it is not technically a sin. In fact, to prevent such relations, Jewish law prohibits an unmarried, unrelated man and woman from being alone long enough to have sexual relations. But these laws come from the Talmud and the Shulchan Aruch, not from the Torah.

Masturbation

Jewish law clearly prohibits male masturbation. This law is derived from the story of Onan (Gen. 38:8-10), who practiced coitus interruptus as a means of birth control to avoid fathering a child for his deceased brother. G-d killed Onan for this sin. Although Onan's act was not truly masturbation, Jewish law takes a very broad view of the acts prohibited by this passage, and forbids any act of ha-sh'cha'tat zerah (destruction of the seed), that is, ejaculation outside of the vagina. In fact, the prohibition is so strict that one passage in the Talmud states, "in the case of a man, the hand that reaches below the navel should be chopped off." (Niddah 13a)

The issue is somewhat less clear for women. Obviously, spilling the seed is not going to happen in female masturbation, and there is no explicit Torah prohibition against female masturbation. Nevertheless, Judaism generally frowns upon female masterbation as "impure thoughts."

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Encyclopedia of Jewish and Israeli history, politics and culture, with biographies, statistics, articles and documents on topics from anti-Semitism to Zionism.

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Jewish tradition looks favorably on sex and sexuality, given certain conditions.

Judaism considers sex natural and holy, though not without boundaries. In the famous words of the Iggeret HaKodesh ( The Holy Letter), a 13th-century treatise on sexuality often ascribed to Nahmanides, "One should know that sexual union is holy and pure when it is done as it should be, at the time it should be, and with proper intent."

Traditionally, Judaism only approves of sex between a husband and wife. The first commandment in the Torah is "Be fruitful and multiply," and procreation is one of the reasons that sex is considered holy. Contraception is problematic because it interferes with the religious obligation to procreate; nonetheless, it is not absolutely prohibited. Traditional sources on sex tend to address men only, and the Talmud understands the commandment to procreate as a legal obligation specifically for men. Thus Jewish authorities are more lenient with female contraception, like the birth control pill.

Sexual Pleasure & Companionship

Judaism recognizes the importance of sexual pleasure and companionship for its own sake as well. The Torah requires that a husband fulfill his wife's need for intimacy. Exodus 21:10 lists marital intimacy as one of three basic things that a husband must provide to his wife (the other two are food and clothing). Laws governing sexual relationships are detailed in the Talmud. In fact, one of the most extensive of the six sections of the Talmud, Nashim (literally, "women") is devoted to explicating the laws of sex and marriage, often with incredible detail. For example, the Talmud provides a detailed schedule for men's conjugal duties, organized by profession. While a man of independent means is obliged to sleep with his wife every day, a camel driver is obligated only once in 30 days, and a sailor once in six months. That being said, a woman is allowed to reject her husband's sexual advances, and Judaism forbids a man from pressuring his wife sexually.
READ: Judaism and Marriage
There are, however, traditional restrictions on marital sex. Jewish law prohibits sex during menstruation. Though the Torah prohibits only intercourse during this time, later rabbinic authorities prohibited all physical contact. These restrictions apply for the seven days following a woman's period and extend until she has immersed in a , a ritual bath. This category of laws is often referred to as Taharat HaMishpacha, or "family purity," and though they have fallen out of favor with most contemporary Jews, many women-both liberal and traditional-are rediscovering and reinterpreting these laws to suit modern sensibilities.

The prohibition against having intercourse with a menstruating woman (known as a niddah) is stated in Leviticus 18. This chapter contains an extensive list of other inappropriate sexual relationships, including incest and bestiality.

The prohibition against adultery, of course, is one of the Ten Commandments listed both in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5. Rape is treated in the Torah and later rabbinic writings as a monetary offense, perpetrated as much against the father of a rape victim (who ultimately will receive less of a dowry) as it is for the woman herself.

The Evil Inclination

Despite the holiness of sex, rabbinic tradition often associates the sexual drive with the yetzer hara, the evil inclination. Paradoxically, however, the evil inclination isn't all that bad; it can be harnessed for productivity and holiness. Indeed, according to a famous midrash, "Were it not for the yetzer hara, no man would build a house, marry a wife, or beget children."

The sexual imagery found in the Kabbalah, medieval Jewish mysticism, is also worth noting. As Arthur Green wrote in the The Second Jewish Catalog, "Kabbalists see the very origins of the universe as a never-ceasing process of arousal, coupling, gestation, and birth within the life of a God who is both male and female, and proclaim this complex inner flow of divinity, described in the most graphic of sexual terms, to be the highest of mysteries." In contrast, many of the medieval philosophers were far less appreciative of sex. In the Guide of the Perplexed, Maimonides wrote, "The law about forbidden sexual intercourse seeks in all its parts to inculcate the lesson that we ought to limit sexual intercourse altogether, hold it in contempt, and only desire it very rarely."

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Judaism and Sexuality | My Jewish Learning

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Jewish tradition looks favorably on sex and sexuality, given certain conditions. Judaism considers sex natural and holy, though not without boundaries. In the famous words of the Iggeret HaKodesh ( The Holy Letter), a 13th-century treatise on sexuality often ascribed to Nahmanides, "One should know that sexual union is holy and pure when it is done as it should be, at the time it should be, and with proper intent."

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Sefaria sheet with Talmudic sources about sex

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Sefaria sheet with Talmudic sources about sex

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Ben Azzai says: Run to a "light" mitzvah as to a "heavy one," and flee sin. For a mitzvah begets a mitzvah and a sin begets a sin. [This is "the way of the world." If a man does one mitzvah, it is easier for him to do others and if one begins sinning, it is difficult for him to stop.

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If you're learning a service, use the siddur-navigator below. Recordings for the rest of the year-and the recordings from our old website-are available in the archive. To the right, you can find melodies by tempo, mode, and time signature.

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If you're learning a service, use the siddur-navigator below. Recordings for the rest of the year-and the recordings from our old website-are available in the archive. To the right, you can find melodies by tempo, mode, and time signature.

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Ritualwell | Ritual for Jewish holidays and life cycles

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Ritualwell: Ritual for Jewish holidays and life cycles, including Shabbat, the New Year, baby namings, weddings, healing and mourning.

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The Jewish Women's Archive documents Jewish women's stories, elevates their voices, and inspires them to be agents of change.

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WELCOME TO THE ONLINE EDITION OF

The only resource of its kind, this encyclopedia provides the most complete picture of the history and culture of Jews in Eastern Europe from the beginnings of their settlement in the region to the present. This website makes accurate, reliable, scholarly information about East European Jewish life accessible to everyone.

"The YIVO Encyclopedia is so compulsively browsable that you can disappear within its pages for hours without a trace, the equivalent of diving into the coolest, deepest of pools." -Kenneth Turan, L.A. Times

Find out more How to use this Web site

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The YIVO Encyclopedia of Jews in Eastern Europe

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The only resource of its kind, this encyclopedia provides the most complete picture of the history and culture of Jews in Eastern Europe from the beginnings of their settlement in the region to the present. This website makes accurate, reliable, scholarly information about East European Jewish life accessible to everyone.

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authority sources - orthodox rabbis only legit ones? how religious can you get without following that?

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authority sources - orthodox rabbis only legit ones? how religious can you get without following that?

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Sit with a chevrutah or on your own.

Read through the list of possible topics for future Beit Midrash sessions.

Select one or two and read the resources attached.

After reading think about these questions with your chevrutah:

What topics would lead to an exciting halachic or cultural shift within our group or within us as individuals?

What knowledge can you bring to the topic you are interested in?

How can a communal structure like the Beit Midrash support learning on this topic?

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Sefaria: a Living Library of Jewish Texts Online

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The largest free library of Jewish texts available to read online in Hebrew and English including Torah, Tanakh, Talmud, Mishnah, Midrash, commentaries and more.

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Modesty and Sexuality in Halakhic Literature 

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Modesty and Sexuality in Halakhic Literature 

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Abarbanell, Nitza. Eve and Lilith (Hebrew). Ramat Gan: 2002.

Ahituv, Yosef. "On the Attribution of Demonic Traits to Women" (Hebrew). Mah anayim 14 (2003): 145-159.

Ahituv, Yosef. "Modesty between Mythos and Ethos" (Hebrew). In A Good Eye: Dialogue and Polemic in Jewish Culture. A Jubilee Book in Honor of Tova Ilan, edited by Yosef Ahituv et al. (Hebrew). Tel-Aviv: 224-263. 1999.

Barkai, Ron. "Greek Medical Traditions and Their Impact on Conceptions of Women in the Gynecological Writing in the Middle Ages." In A View into the Lives of Women in Jewish Societies (Hebrew), edited by Yael Azmon, 115-142. Jerusalem: 1995.

Barkai, Ron. Science, Magic and Mythology in the Middle Ages (Hebrew). Jerusalem: 1987.

Benayahu, Meir. Studies in Memory of the Rishon Le-Zion R. Yitzhak Nissim, vol. 6: Standings and Sittings (Hebrew). Jerusalem: 1985.

Ben-Sasson, Haim Hillel. "The Social Teaching of R. Johanan Luria" (Hebrew). Zion 27 (1962): 166-198.

Boyarin, Daniel. Carnal Israel: Reading Sex in Talmudic Culture. Berkeley: 1993.

Berman, Saul J. "Kol 'Isha." In Rabbi Joseph H. Lookstein Memorial Volume, edited by Leo Landman, 45-66. New York: 1980.

Biale, David. Eros and the Jews: From Biblical Israel to Contemporary America. New York: 1992.

Bonfil, Reuben. "Aspects of the Social and Spiritual Life of the Jews in Venetian Territories at the Beginning of the Sixteenth Century" (Hebrew). Zion 41 (1976): 68-96.

Breisch, Mordecai Jacob. She'eilot u-Teshuvot Helkat Ya'akov. Jerusalem: 1951-1966 [Tel Aviv: 1992].

Cohen, Jeremy. "Sexuality and Intentionality in Rabbinic Thought of the Twelfth and Thirteenth Centuries." Te'uda 13: Marriage and the Family in Halakhah and Jewish Thought (Hebrew) (1997): 155-172.

Cohen (Kohen), Yehezkel. Woman in Public Leadership: The Dispute concerning Women's Religious Council Membership (Hebrew). Tel Aviv: 1991.

Cohen, Yehezkel. "The Disagreement between Rabbis Kook and Ouziel, of Blessed Memory, Concerning Women's Suffrage" (Hebrew). In Peninah: Peninah Rappel Memorial Volume, edited by Dov Rappel. Jerusalem: 1989.

Dinari, Yedidya. "The Profanation of the Holy by the Menstruant Woman and 'Takanat Ezra'" (Hebrew). Te'uda 3 (1983): 17-37.

Dinary, Yedidya. "The Impurity Customs of the Menstruant Woman: Sources and Development" (Hebrew). Tarbiz 49 (1980): 302-324.

Enziklopedia Talmudit (Talmudic Encyclopedia), ed. Shlomo Josef Zevin. Jerusalem: 1952 and additional printings.

Ellinson, Eliakim Getsel. Woman and the Commandments. Book Two: Walk Modestly: Elucidated Halakhic Sources (Hebrew). Jerusalem: 1981.

Friedhaber, Zvi. "Dance Customs in the Jewish Yishuv of Jerusalem before World War I" (Hebrew). Jerusalem Studies in Jewish Folklore 11-12 (1990): 139-151.

Friedhaber, Zvi. "The Tanzhaus in the Life of Ashkenazi Jewry during the Middle Ages" (Hebrew). Jerusalem Studies in Jewish Folklore 7 (1984): 49-60.

Friedhaber, Zvi. "Dancing in the Life of Jewish Sefardic Communities as Reflected in the Communal Regulations and Responsa Literature" (Hebrew). In The Sephardi and Oriental Jewish Heritage: Studies, edited by Issachar Ben-Ami, 347-353. Jerusalem: 1982.

Friedhaber, Zvi. "Jewish Folk Dance Customs as Reflected in the Memorial Literature of the European Jewish Communities" (Hebrew). Proceedings of the Fifth World Congress of Jewish Studies, vol. 4. 1973: 109-115.

Friedman, Menachem. Society and Religion (Hebrew). Jerusalem: 1977.

Friedman, Mordechai A. " Halakhah as Evidence for the Study of Sexual Mores among Jews in Medieval Islamic Countries: Face Coverings and Mut'ah Marriages." In A View into the Lives of Women in Jewish Societies: Collected Essays (Hebrew), edited by Yael A z mon, 143-160. Jerusalem: 1995.

Gottleib, Dov. Yad Ketanah. Jerusalem: 1994.

Grossman, Avraham. Pious and Rebellious: Jewish Women in Medieval Europe, trans. Jonathan Chipman. Waltham, MA and Hanover: 2004.

Grossman, Avraham. "The Relationship between Halakhah and Economy in the Status of the Jewish Woman in Early Ashkenaz" (Hebrew). In Religion and Economy: Connections and Interactions, edited by Menahem Ben-Sasson. Jerusalem: 1995.

Grossman, Avraham. "The Attitude of R. Menahem ha-Meiri towards Women" (Hebrew). Zion 67,3 (2002): 253-292.

Halamish, Moshe. "'Le-Shem Yihud' and Its Evolutions: In Kabbalah and in Halakhah" (Hebrew). Asufot 10 (1995): 135-159.

Harari, Moshe. Mikraei Kodesh: Laws of the Seder Night (Hebrew). Jerusalem: 1993.

Henkin, Yehudah Herzl. She'eilot u-Teshuvot Benei Banim. Jerusalem: 1980.

Hirschensohn, Hayyim. Malki ba-Kodesh (Hebrew). St. Louis: 1919.

Higger, Michael. Masekhtot Ze'irot (Hebrew). Jerusalem: 1970.

Horowitz, Elliot. "Between Masters and Maidservants in the Jewish Society of Europe in Late Medieval and Early Modern Times" (Hebrew). In Sexuality and the Family in History, edited by Yisrael Bartal and Isaiah Gafni, 193-212. Jerusalem: 1995.

Idel, Moshe. "Female Beauty: A Chapter in the History of Jewish Mysticism." In Within Hasidic Circles: Studies in Hasidism in Memory of Mordecai Wilensky (Hebrew), edited by Immanuel Etkes et al., 317-334. Jerusalem: 1999.

Idem. "Sexual Metaphors and Praxis in the Kabbalah." In The Jewish Family: Metaphor and Memory, edited by David Kraemer, 197-224. New York: 1989.

Idel, Moshe. "Sitre 'Arayot in Maimonides' Thought." In Maimonides and Philosophy: Papers Presented at the Sixth Jerusalem Philosophical Encounter, May 1985, edited by Shlomo Pines and Yirmiyahu Yovel. Dordrecht: 1986.

Kasher, Menahem M. Torah Shelemah (Hebrew). Jerusalem: 1992.

Katz, Jacob. "Traditional Society and Modern Society" (Hebrew). In Jewish Nationalism: Essays and Studies. Jerusalem: 1979.

Katz, Jacob. "Reciprocal Influence between Religion and Society in the Period of the Emancipation" (Hebrew). In Religion and Society: Lectures Delivered at the Ninth Convention of the Historical Society of Israel, December 1963, 135-146. Jerusalem: 1964.

Katz, Jacob. "Marriage and Sexual Life among the Jews at the Close of the Middle Ages" (Hebrew). Zion 10 (1944-1945): 21-54.

Levin, Mordechai. Social and Economic Values in the Ideology of the Period of the Haskalah (Hebrew). Jerusalem: 1975.

Liebes, Yehuda. "Zohar and Eros" (Hebrew). Alpayim 9 (1994): 67-119.

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Modesty and Sexuality in Halakhic Literature | Jewish Women's Archive

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Though it is not mentioned in the Bible, modesty (zeni'ut) has become a significant part of modern halakhah, especially in the realm of sexuality. For women, sexual modesty means covering up their bodies. For both men and women, modesty also entails certain behavioral rules.

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Judaism is intensely aware of the power of speech and of the harm that can be done through speech. The rabbis note that the universe itself was created through speech.

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When non-observant people talk about how difficult it is to observe Jewish law, they usually mention the difficulty of observing Shabbat or keeping kosher or other similarly detailed rituals. Yet the laws that are most difficult to keep, that are most commonly violated even by observant Jews, are the laws regarding improper speech. This is a very important area of Jewish law; entire books have been written on the subject.

Judaism is intensely aware of the power of speech and of the harm that can be done through speech. The rabbis note that the universe itself was created through speech. Of the 43 sins enumerated in the Al Chet confession recited on Yom Kippur, 11 are sins committed through speech. The Talmud tells that the tongue is an instrument so dangerous that it must be kept hidden from view, behind two protective walls (the mouth and teeth) to prevent its misuse.

The harm done by speech is even worse than the harm done by stealing or by cheating someone financially, because amends can be made for monetary harms, but the harm done by speech can never be repaired. For this reason, some sources indicate that there is no forgiveness for lashon ha-ra (disparaging speech). A Chasidic tale illustrates this point: A man went about the community telling malicious lies about the rabbi. Later, he realized the wrong he had done, and began to feel remorse. He went to the rabbi and begged his forgiveness, saying he would do anything he could to make amends. The rabbi told the man, "Take a feather pillow, cut it open, and scatter the feathers to the winds." The man thought this was a strange request, but it was a simple enough task, and he did it gladly. When he returned to tell the rabbi that he had done it, the rabbi said, "Now, go and gather the feathers. Because you can no more make amends for the damage your words have done than you can recollect the feathers."

Speech has been compared to an arrow: once the words are released, like an arrow, they cannot be recalled, the harm they do cannot be stopped, and the harm they do cannot always be predicted, for words like arrows often go astray.

There are two mitzvot in the Torah that specifically address improper speech: Thou shalt not go up and down as a tale-bearer among thy people (Lev. 19:16), and ye shall not wrong one another (Lev. 25:17, which according to tradition refers to wronging a person with speech).

Tale-bearing is, essentially, any gossip. The Hebrew word for tale-bearer is " rakheel" (Resh-Kaf-Yod-Lamed), which is related to a word meaning trader or merchant. The idea is that a tale-bearer is like a merchant, but he deals in information instead of goods. In our modern "Information Age," the idea of information as a product has become more clear than ever before, yet it is present even here in the Torah.

It is a violation of this mitzvah to say anything about another person, even it is true, even if it is not negative, even if it is not secret, even if it hurts no one, even if the person himself would tell the same thing if asked! It is said that the telling of gossip leads to bloodshed, which is why the next words in the Torah are "you shall not stand aside while your fellow's blood is shed." The story of Do'eig the Edomite (I Samuel Chs. 21-22) is often used to illustrate the harm that can be done by tale-bearing. Do'eig saw Achimelekh the Kohein give David bread and a sword, a completely innocent act intended to aid a leading member of Saul's court. Do'eig reported this to Saul. Do'eig's story was completely true, not negative, not secret, and Achimelekh would have told Saul exactly the same thing if asked (in fact, he did so later). Yet Saul misinterpreted this tale as proof that Achimelekh was supporting David in a rebellion, and proceeded to slaughter all but one of the kohanim at Nob.

The person who listens to gossip is even worse than the person who tells it, because no harm could be done by gossip if no one listened to it. It has been said that lashon ha-ra (disparaging speech) kills three: the person who speaks it, the person who hears it, and the person about whom it is told.

In Jewish law, all things are considered to be secret unless a person specifically says otherwise. For this reason, you will note that in the Torah, G-d constantly says to Moses, "Speak to the Children of Israel, saying:" or "Speak to the Children of Israel and tell them:" If G-d did not specifically say this to Moses, Moses would be forbidden to repeat his words! Nor is there any time-limit on secrets. The Talmud tells the story of a student who revealed a secret after 22 years, and was immediately banished from the house of study!

The gravest of these sins of tale-bearing is lashon ha-ra (literally, "the evil tongue"), which involves discrediting a person or saying negative things about a person, even if those negative things are true. Some sources indicate that lashon ha-ra is equal in seriousness to murder, idol worship, and incest and adultery (the only three sins that you may not violate even to save a life).

It is forbidden to even imply or suggest negative things about a person. It is forbidden to say negative things about a person, even in jest. It is likewise considered a "shade of lashon ha-ra" to say positive things about a person in the presence of his enemies, because this will encourage his enemies to say negative things to contradict you!

One who tells disparaging things that are false is referred to as a motzi sheim ra, that is, one who spreads a bad report. This is considered the lowest of the low.

It is generally not a sin to repeat things that have been told "in the presence of three persons." The idea is that if it is told in the presence of three persons, it is already public knowledge, and no harm can come of retelling it. However, even in this case, you should not repeat it if you know you will be spreading the gossip further.

There are a few exceptional circumstances when tale-bearing is allowed, or even required. Most notably, tale-bearing is required in a Jewish court of law, because it is a mitzvah to give testimony and that mitzvah overrides the general prohibition against tale-bearing. Thus, a person is required to reveal information, even if it is something that was explicitly told in confidence, even if it will harm a person, in a Jewish court of law.

A person is also required to reveal information to protect a person from immediate, serious harm. For example, if a person hears that others are plotting to kill someone, he is required to reveal this information. That is another reason why the commandment not to go about as a tale-bearer is juxtaposed with "you shall not stand aside while your fellow's blood is shed."

In limited circumstances, one is also permitted to reveal information if someone is entering into a relationship that he would not enter if he knew certain information. For example, it may be permissible to tell a person that his prospective business partner is untrustworthy, or that a prospective spouse has a disease. This exception is subject to significant and complex limitations; however, if those limitations are satisfied, the person with the information is required to reveal it.

In all of these exceptions, a person is not permitted to reveal information if the same objective could be fulfilled without revealing information. For example, if you could talk a person out of marrying for reasons other than the disease, you may not reveal the disease.

Leviticus 25:17 says, "You shall not wrong one another." This has traditionally been interpreted as wronging a person with speech. It includes any statement that will embarrass, insult or deceive a person, or cause a person emotional pain or distress.

Here are some commonly-used examples of behavior that is forbidden by this mitzvah:

You may not call a person by a derogatory nickname, or by any other embarrassing name, even if he is used to it.

You may not ask an uneducated person for an opinion on a scholarly matter (that would draw attention to his lack of knowledge or education).

You may not ask a merchant how much he would sell something for if you have no intention of buying.

You may not refer someone to another person for assistance when you know the other person cannot help (in other words, it's a violation of Jewish law to give someone the run-around!).

You may not deceive a person, even if no harm is done by the deception; for example, you may not sell non-kosher meat to a non-Jew telling him that it is kosher, even though no harm is done to the non-Jew by this deception.

You may not sell a person damaged goods without identifying the damage, even if the price you give is fair for the goods in their damaged condition.

You may not offer a person a gift or invite a person to dinner if you know that the person will not accept.

You may not compliment a person if you do not mean it.

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When non-observant people talk about how difficult it is to observe Jewish law, they usually mention the difficulty of observing Shabbat or keeping kosher or other similarly detailed rituals. Yet the laws that are most difficult to keep, that are most commonly violated even by observant Jews, are the laws regarding improper speech.

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Anthropologically similar to shamans, ba‘ale shem mediated between empirical reality and divine realms, between this world and the netherworld, and between spirits and living beings, employing both Lurianic and popular Kabbalah, magical remedies and mystical devices, local herbal folk remedies, amulets (Heb., kemi‘im; sg., kame‘a), and contemporary medical recipes to restore social order or provide personal security.

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Literally, "masters of [God's] name" (sg., ba'al shem); alternatively, ba'ale shem tov, or "masters of good name." The terms, which are often interchangeable, signify the ability to manipulate "holy" names, including both the name of God and those of angels, along with the names of Satan and evil spirits, in order to obtain practical results. Anthropologically similar to shamans, ba'ale shem mediated between empirical reality and divine realms, between this world and the netherworld, and between spirits and living beings, employing both Lurianic and popular Kabbalah, magical remedies and mystical devices, local herbal folk remedies, amulets (Heb., kemi'im; sg., kame'a), and contemporary medical recipes to restore social order or provide personal security.

Jews and gentiles from all walks of life, including the wealthiest Polish magnates, turned to ba'ale shem to cure illness, infertility, and sexual disorder; to prevent nocturnal emissions; to enable childbirth; to control epidemics and protect a person or personal habitat from disasters such as murder, fire, robbery, or the "evil eye"; to predict the future, reveal suppressed desires, and interpret dreams; or to treat depression and exorcise evil spirits ( dybbuks). Though ba'ale shem share many features and practices with shamanic figures in various cultures and cults, they are distinguished by the specific use of practical kabbalistic devices that originated as magical manipulations of mystically understood Judaic rites or Hebrew letters.

The phenomenon of wonder workers similar to ba'ale shem stems from pre-Talmudic times; the term itself was used with derogatory connotations in the period of the Babylonian geonim (ninth-tenth centuries). European Jews associated ba'ale shem with the Ḥaside Ashkenaz, the highly esteemed mystic-minded pietists of the twelfth to thirteenth centuries; yet the spread of Kabbalah in the seventeenth century led to new developments. Contemporary witnesses such as Pinḥas Katzenellenbogen testify to the enormous popularity of the ba'ale shem among various strata of European Jews, and to their magical knowledge. While pietists such as Yesha'yahu Horowitz rearticulated everyday Jewish practices along the lines of Lurianic Kabbalah, ba'ale shem cast Jewish worldview and Jewish self-perception in a kabbalistic mold. Among those who acted as ba'ale shem were prominent communal leaders including Yonatan Eybeschütz, Seckel Wormser from Michelstadt, Eliyahu of Chełm, and Hirsh Frankel of Ansbach; reputed preachers such as Ya'akov Pesaḥ ben Yitsḥak of Żółkiew; community-sponsored mystics and healers including Yisra'el ben Eli'ezer of Mezhbizh (Międzyboż; known as the Ba'al Shem Tov or Besht); self-employed sedentary healers including Yo'el Heilperin of Zamość; and itinerant kabbalists such as Binyamin Benish ha-Kohen of Krotoszyn. Sedentary ba'ale shem, such as Efrayim Reisher, a judge in Rzeszów, or Yo'el Heilperin of Zamość, called themselves indiscriminately ba'al shem or ba'al shem tov, but the itinerant ba'ale shem apparently did not add tov ("good") to their name.

In the 1700s, the Żółkiew printing press, then the only printing press in Eastern Europe, did its best to foster the spread of books of practical Kabbalah. To market their services, expand their clientele, and foster their reputations, ba'ale shem composed and published for popular consumption books of segulot ve-refu'ot (magical amulets and healing remedies), digests of practical Kabbalah-such as Toldot Adam by Yo'el Heilperin (1720), Zevaḥ Pesaḥ by Ya'akov Pesaḥ (1722), and Shem tov katan by Binyamin Beinish (1706)-that enjoyed substantial commercial success. Heilperin boasted that there was no town in Poland that did not have in its possession Toldot Adam. Yet some books, such as Sefer ha-ḥeshek, a 700-page vade mecum written in about 1740 by the itinerant Hillel Ba'al Shem, remained in manuscript and were rediscovered only in the 1990s.

The growth in the number of ba'ale shem between the 1680s and 1750s in eastern Poland coincided with the attempts of East European communities to fight the spread of crypto-Sabbatian heresy. Although some ba'ale shem, such as Mosheh David of Podhajce and Mordekhai Ashkenazi of Żółkiew, most likely were crypto-Sabbatians, others, among them Ya'akov Pesaḥ ben Yitsḥak, fought Sabbatianism. Ya'akov Emden made consistent attempts to treat ba'ale shem as Sabbatians, but Jewish communal leaders held ba'ale shem in high esteem and invoked their assistance. Yo'el Ba'al Shem, for example, was commissioned to help the Poznań Jewish community expel evil spirits from the house of a Jewish town dweller, while Hillel Ba'al Shem was asked to exorcise a dybbuk from the Ostróg Jewish community. In other cases, the failure of a ba'al shem to cope with a difficult case led to accusations against, and persecutions of, ba'ale shem. Successful ba'ale shem, on the other hand (such as the Besht), enjoyed upward mobility.

East European ba'ale shem practiced and preached ascetic conduct characteristic of the East European kabbalistic-minded and pious pneumatics (pre-Beshtian Hasidim), whose behavioral patterns were modeled on those of medieval Jewish pietists (Ḥaside Ashkenaz). Hillel Ba'al Shem and Yo'el Heilperin argued for abstinence from physical pleasures, while others practiced regular ritual ablutions, prolonged fasting, and voluntary "exile" from their native communities, without which they thought it was impossible to prepare an effective amulet. In the mid-eighteenth century, the Besht-a practicing kabbalist, mystic, magician, and healer-strongly argued against rigorous asceticism. Practical Kabbalah books written or used by ba'ale shem survived the rise of the mid-eighteenth-century antiascetic Hasidism of the Besht and became part of Jewish popular culture-especially Razi'el ha-malakh (1701), Toldot Adam (1720), and Mif'alot Elokim (1725). These books were frequently reprinted.

By the end of the eighteenth century, however, tsadikim, who were new leaders of the rising revivalist Hasidic movement, replaced ba'ale shem as communal shamans and magicians, while feldshers (paramedics) came to replace them as healers. In the nineteenth century, ba'ale shem as a cultural phenomenon gradually disappeared from Eastern Europe or degenerated into rural charlatans.

Immanuel Etkes, The Besht: Magician, Mystic, and Leader, trans. Saadya Shternberg (Waltham, Mass., and Hanover, N.H., 2005); Karl E. Groezinger, " Tsadik and Ba'al Shem in East European Hasidism," Polin: Studies in Polish Jewry 15 (2002): 159-168; Mosheh Hilel, Ba'ale Shem (Jerusalem, 1992/93); Gedalyah Nigal, Magic, Mysticism and Hasidism: The Supernatural in Jewish Thought, trans. Edward Levin (Northvale, N.J., 1994); Michal Oron, Mi-'Ba'al-Shed' le-'Ba'al-Shem': Shemu'el Falk, ha-Ba'al Shem mi-London (Jerusalem, 2002); Yohanan Petrovsky-Shtern, "The Master of an Evil Name: Hillel Ba'al Shem and His Sefer ha-Heshek," Association of Jewish Studies Review 28.2 (2004): 217-248.

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Literally, "masters of [God's] name" (sg., ba'al shem); alternatively, ba'ale shem tov, or "masters of good name." The terms, which are often interchangeable, signify the ability to manipulate "holy" names, including both the name of God and those of angels, along with the names of Satan and evil spirits, in order to obtain practical results.

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Evidence of the use of amulets among Jews dates back to the time of the Talmudic sages.

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Items generally worn around the neck or on the wrist, meant to protect or aid those who carried or wore them. The Hebrew word for amulet, kame'a, is evidently connected to the notion of tying or binding. Jewish amulets are usually comprised of texts (either letters or graphic symbols) that are inscribed on some sort of material; some may also contain plant matter or precious stones. For the most part, an amulet has a specific purpose: to ease childbirth, facilitate recovery from illness, improve one's livelihood, and so on.

Evidence of the use of amulets among Jews dates back to the time of the Talmudic sages. A discussion of whether it is permissible to carry amulets on the Sabbath is found in tractate Shabat in the Mishnah, and in the Talmud, along with an affirmative answer-providing that the writer of the amulet is an expert, or that the amulet is a recognized amulet, meaning that it has proven its effectiveness (Mishnah, Shabat 6.2; Babylonian Talmud, Shabat 61a). The texts of amulets usually include holy names that are believed to have the ability to affect reality, along with incantations summoning angels or other magical powers. Significance is also attributed to the spiritual status of the writer of the amulet, for his spiritual powers determine its strength-though printed amulets did begin to appear in the modern period.

Sometimes amulets are written in what is called "alphabets of angels"-letters that are formed with tiny circles atop their ascenders. Amuletic texts or letters also sometimes have numerological meaning. Among the most common symbols on Jewish amulets are menorahs (seven-branched candelabrums), tablets of the Law, Stars of David, and swords.

Belief in the hidden powers of amulets was widespread among both Jews and non-Jews in Eastern Europe, across all levels of society. There was also some opposition among Jews to their use throughout the centuries; prominent among those who were opposed was Maimonides, who wrote vehemently against them. The maskilim in Eastern Europe openly mocked the use of amulets and considered them to be profane and harmful.

Owing to the paucity of research on this topic, it remains unclear whether amulets in Eastern Europe featured any unique characteristics. It appears that the Ashkenazic tradition of amulets was widespread in all parts of Europe, including Eastern Europe. Contributing to the uniformity of amulets was the prevalence of printed versions, be they stand-alone amulets or those included in books. These were produced in Italy and Amsterdam and in the Land of Israel, as well as in the great centers of Jewish printing in Eastern Europe, whence they were distributed throughout the Jewish world.

Amulets were considered an integral part of the necessary equipment for survival-particularly for the protection of a mother and her newborn child from the dangers of Lilith, a female demon who was believed to pursue and kill mother and infant. Following is an example of such an amuletic text, from an amulet in the collection of Shelomoh Musaief:

I command you, holy and pure angels Sanoi, Sansanoi, Semanglaf, Semanglon, to keep all spirits and demons and all evil misfortunes and all Liline and all Liltine away from this newly delivered mother and from this newborn babe; and from the day on which this amulet, on which are inscribed your names, will be placed in this house in which is to be found the newborn, from this day forward remove Lilith and all her followers and all her servants from this newborn and from this house to the farthest reaches. Let her and all the demons with her flee, that she and her followers may never be able to harm this child for ever and ever.

Sometimes an amulet for childbirth would say, simply, "Adam, Eve; Lilith out."

Amulets were composed and written by specialists and experts in such matters, known as ba'ale shem (masters of the Holy Name), as well as by important eighteenth-century rabbis such as Yonatan Eybeschütz and Naftali ha-Kohen Katz (who served as a rabbi in Poznań and in Frankfurt am Main). In his will, Katz ordered that his large amulet be divided into five parts, with each of his sons receiving a portion. Many of the books written by ba'ale shem in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries include the texts of amulets. The use of amulets was also found among Hasidim, and a number of illustrious rebbes wrote them.

Moshe Idel, Hasidism: Between Ecstasy and Magic (Albany, N.Y., 1995); Esther Juhasz, "Ha-'Shiviti-menorah': Ben mufshat le-ḥomri; 'Iyunim be-yitsug ha-kodesh" (Ph.D. diss., The Hebrew University, 2004); Gershom Scholem, Meḥkere shabta'ut (Tel Aviv, 1991); Theodore Schrire, Hebrew Amulets: Their Decipherment and Interpretation (London, 1966); Joshua Trachtenberg, Jewish Magic and Superstition (1939; rpt., New York, 1970), pp. 132-152.

Translated from Hebrew by Sharon Makover-Assaf

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Items generally worn around the neck or on the wrist, meant to protect or aid those who carried or wore them. The Hebrew word for amulet, kame'a, is evidently connected to the notion of tying or binding.

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" Pardes" refers to (types of) approaches to biblical exegesis in rabbinic Judaism or to interpretation of text in Torah study. The term, sometimes also rendered PaRDeS, is an acronym formed from the initials of the following four approaches:

Remez (רֶמֶז‎) - "hints" or the deep (allegoric: hidden or symbolic) meaning beyond just the literal sense.

Derash (דְּרַשׁ‎) - from Hebrew darash: "inquire" ("seek") - the comparative (midrashic) meaning, as given through similar occurrences.

Sod (סוֹד‎) (pronounced with a long O as in 'lore') - "secret" ("mystery") or the esoteric/mystical meaning, as given through inspiration or revelation.

Each type of Pardes interpretation examines the extended meaning of a text. As a general rule, the extended meaning never contradicts the base meaning. The means the plain or contextual meaning of the text. Remez is the allegorical meaning. Derash includes the metaphorical meaning, and Sod represents the hidden meaning. There is often considerable overlap, for example when legal understandings of a verse are influenced by mystical interpretations or when a "hint" is determined by comparing a word with other instances of the same word.

Some books such as Tolaat Yaakov, divide Pardes into Peshat, Remez, Din (law), and Sod. According to this understanding, Derash is divided into the homiletics, which are classified under Remez, and legal interpretations, which are classified under Din.

History of the term "pardes"

The use of "Pardes" as an acronym for these four methods of interpretation apparently first appears in the writings of Shem Tov in the late 13th century.

In earlier works, the word "pardes" refers either to the esoteric parts of the Torah (similar to "sod" in the acronym), or to all Torah study (without differentiation into different types of study).

Exoteric and esoteric in Sod

Exoteric means that Scripture is read in the context of the physical world, human orientation, and human notions. The first three exegetical methods: Peshat-Simple, Remez-Hinted, and Drush-Homiletic belong to the exoteric "Nigleh-Revealed" part of Torah embodied in mainstream Rabbinic literature, such as the Talmud, Midrash, and exoteric-type Jewish commentaries on the Bible.

Esoteric means that the surface meaning of Scripture, as with esoteric texts in general, while it may also be true, is not the real truth to which Scripture refers. Instead, the surface meaning hides/covers/conceals its real intention. The real truth is the secret hidden within the deceptive covering. The fourth level of exegesis, Sod-Secret, belongs to the esoteric "Nistar-Hidden" interpretations of Scripture found alternatively in Jewish mysticism-Kabbalah or in Jewish philosophy-Metaphysics. Religious adherents of Kabbalah and of Rationalism fought over their alternative claims to know the esoteric meaning. In Medieval Jewish Rationalism, the hidden truth within Scripture was human-centred Divine transcendence philosophical depths. In Kabbalistic mysticism, it was God's Persona-centred Divine immanence emanations. Therefore, each tradition interpreted classic Rabbinic references to Pardes (legend), Maaseh Bereishit/Maaseh Merkabah (Talmudic passages about esotericism) and to the connected 4-fold structure of PaRDeS exegesis differently.

Both mystical and rational religious Judaism, however, together rooted in mainstream Rabbinic literature and Mitzvot observance, accepted common truth in Peshat, Remez, and Drush levels of Judaism. In this way, Jewish religious esotericism is inseparable from exoteric Judaism. Their esoteric meanings did not deny the truth of exotericism, but rather reinforced the need for exoteric Halacha Jewish law and practical observance of the 613 Mitzvot as God's plan in Creation.[citation needed ]

The mystical view of esoteric Sod-Secret as the elite doctrines of Kabbalah also gave conceptual context to Peshat, Remez, and Drush: in the mystical unfolding of the spiritual Four Worlds, each realm corresponds to a level in PaRDeS. God's immanence is found at successively descending levels of reality. Torah descends from on High, while man ascends the levels of PaRDeS exegesis in Torah from Below. In this sense, ascending the four levels of interpretation reveals greater divinity in Torah; the exoteric and esoteric are linked in a continuous chain. While rationalists read Rabbinic Aggadah legends metaphorically, kabbalists read them as allusions to Kabbalah.

Within mainstream exoteric classic Rabbinic literature, such as the Talmud and Midrashim, Halacha is Jewish legal discussion and ruling, while Aggadah is Jewish theological/narrative discussion. As two approaches in exoteric Judaism, so Peshat-Simple, Remez-Hinted and Drush-Homiletic exegeses methods, which work exoterically, can be used in either Halachic or Aggadic contexts.

Genesis 1:1 is often translated as "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." However, Rashi comments, "If you come to interpret it according to its peshat, interpret it thus: In the beginning of creation of heavens and earth." According to Rashi's linguistic analysis, the word "bereishit" does not actually mean "In the beginning", but rather "In the beginning of..."

The first word of Genesis 1:1 is "Bereishit" ("in the beginning [of]"). According to the Vilna Gaon, all 613 commandments are hinted to in this word. For example, the Vilna Gaon says, the commandment of pidyon haben is hinted via the phrase "Ben Rishon Acharei Shloshim Yom Tifdeh" ("a first son, after 30 days should be redeemed"), and the acronym of the first letters of this phrase is "Breishit".

In Jewish thought, the Year 6000 idea relates the 6 days of Creation (followed by the Sabbath) to 6000 years the world is expected to exist (before a 1000-year messianic era). The first 2000 "hidden" years began at Creation and lasted until Abraham. The next 2000 years "of revelation" include Israelite Patriarchs, the Giving of the Torah at Sinai, and the two Temples in Jerusalem. The final 2000 years, of preparation for the Jewish Messiah, are balanced between Divine concealment and revelation.

Genesis 1:1 is said to hint to this idea. The verse contains seven (Hebrew) words, and each of the words except Hashamayim ("Heavens") contains the letter Aleph (the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet, with a gematria value of 1). The name "Aleph" hints at its etymological variants "Aluph" ("Chief/Ruler", representing the one God) and "Eleph" ("One Thousand", representing 1,000 years). Hebrew word roots generally contain three consonant letters. Of the six words in the verse containing Aleph: in the first two Aleph is positioned as third letter (concealed God in the first 2,000 years), in the next two Aleph is positioned as first letter (revealed God in the middle 2,000 years), in the last two Aleph is positioned as second letter (balance between concealed and revealed God in the last 2,000 years).

In the following exchange, the Talmud differentiates between explicit and hinted sources for the laws of conspiring witnesses ( edim zomemim):

Ulla says: From where in the Torah is a hint of the law of conspiring witnesses?

Why should such a hint exist? For it is stated explicitly "You do to them what they conspired to do to the accused."!

Rather, from where in the Torah is a hint that conspiring witnesses receive a whipping [if they cannot be punished by doing to them as they conspired]?

As it says, "They shall vindicate the righteous one and convict the evil one. And if the evil one is deserving of lashes..." Should [the fact] that they "vindicate the righteous one" [automatically mean] "they convict the evil one, and if the evil one is deserving of lashes"? [In many cases, vindicating the righteous party of a dispute does not mean that the evil party receives lashes.] Rather, [these verses are talking about a case where] witnesses convicted the righteous one, and other witnesses came and vindicated the original righteous one, and made [the first set of witnesses] into evil ones; [in that case], "if the evil one is deserving of lashes".

Derash (Midrash)

Rashi comments that the Hebrew word Bereishit ("In the beginning") can be homiletically understood to mean "Due to the first", where "first" ( reishit) is a word used elsewhere to refer to the Torah and to the Jewish people. Thus, one may say that the world was created for the sake of Torah and the Jewish people.

Rabbi Simlai deduced that the Torah's commandments are 613 in number. Deuteronomy 33:4 states that " Moses commanded us the Torah". The gematria of "Torah" is 611. Adding to them the first two of the Ten Commandments (which were given to the Jews not via Moses but rather directly by God, which is known because only these two commandments are written in the first person singular), the total is 613.

In Guide for the Perplexed, Maimonides declares his intention to conceal from the average reader his explanations of Sod. Later on in the book, Maimonides mentions Divine secrets within Torah:

"Adam and Eve were at first created as one being, having their backs united: they were then separated, and one half was removed and brought before Adam as Eve." Note how clearly it has been stated that Adam and Eve were two in some respects, and yet they remained one, according to the words, "Bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh" (Gen. ii. 23). The unity of the two is proved by the fact that both have the same name, for she is called ishah (woman), because she was taken out of ish (man), also by the words, "And shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh" (ii. 24). How great is the ignorance of those who do not see that all this necessarily includes some [other] idea [besides the literal meaning of the words].

Kabbalah does not read Scripture as analogy, but as theosophical symbols of dynamic processes in the Supernal Divinity. According to this, Creation was enacted through the letters of the Hebrew language, particularly Divine Names. The Midrash describes God "looking into the Torah to Create the World", which Kabbalah extended into a linguistic mysticism. United with the Infinite Divine, the text of the Torah becomes one long Name of God, or alternatively, God's revealed Being as represented in this World. Kabbalists endeavoured to perceive the unlimited Divinity in the Torah of the Tree of life, through the exoteric Torah of the Tree of Knowledge, the two representing transcendent and immanent revelations of God in the Sephirot, uniting Tiferet ("The Holy One Blessed Be He") and Malkuth (Feminine Shekhinah).[citation needed ]

The teachings of Isaac Luria, which form the basis of modern esoteric Kabbalah, read the mythological doctrine of Shevirat HaKeilim ("Shattering of the vessels in God's Persona) from the account of the Edomite Kings of Genesis 36:31 and I Chronicles 1:43:

"These are the kings who reigned in the land of Edom before there reigned any king over the children of Israel..."

In Kabbalah, based on exoteric Midrash, the Hebrew Patriarchs: Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, embody the sephirot of Chesed-Kindness, Gevurah-Strength and Tiferet-Beauty. Kindness and Judgement are polar forces and Beauty harmonises. The imbalances emerged in Ishmael and Esau, while the harmony fathered the 12 tribes of Israel. Ishmael and Esau are considered the spiritual roots of the Nations, deriving from the initial unrectified spiritual Realm of Tohu-Chaos, whose pristine Divine potential was too high to be contained in Existence, shattering its vessels which fell down into exile. The Israelites relate to the lower Realm of Tikun-Rectification. The Messianic Era for all people will embody both advantages of the high lights of Tohu in the rectified vessels of Tikun, when "all Nations will ascend the mountain of God". Edom, the progeny of Esau, corresponds to unrectified Gevurah-Strength, the waste of which vitalises the kelipot shells. Gevurah is the constricting force in Creation, allowing independent Existence, but also causing the initial vessels of Tohu to act independently and shatter. The Edomite Kings who reigned before any king in Israel, while also being historical people according to Peshat, in Kabbalah both embody and symbolise the vessels of Tohu that shattered. The verses name eight kings, the breakages in the eight emotional sephirot from Daat to Malchut. Death is the lights-souls reascending and the vessel fragments falling, animated by remnant sparks of light. Of the eighth king, only Genesis says he died, as Malchut remained partially intact. The sparks of holiness animate Creation down to Material Existence. In the highest World Atziluth, the general root-sparks number 288, read out by gematria from Genesis 1:2-3:

And the Earth was chaos and void (the World of Tohu), with darkness upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God hovered (מרחפת-" Merachepet", the sparks animating the fragments externally) over the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light..(the World of Tikun, allowing stable reception of Divine revelation)

" Merachepet" divides into 288 (רפח) sparks animating within the מת-"dead"-fallen fragments.[citation needed ]

The Pardes system is often regarded as mystically linked to the word pardes ( Hebrew פָּרְדֵּס), meaning orchard. "Pardes" is etymologically related to the English word " paradise", and the Quranic Firdaus ( Arabic فِردَوس) among various other forms, in that they all share a common origin in an Old Iranian root, attested in the Avestan language as pairi.daêza-. It occurs only three times in the Tanakh. In the first of these passages it means "garden"; in the second and third, "park." In the apocalypses and in the Talmud, the word is used of the Garden of Eden and its heavenly prototype. From this usage, comes Christianity's denotation of Paradise as the abode of the blessed.

In a discourse, Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the Lubavitch Rebbe, asks where Hasidic thought fits in with Pardes exegesis. Habad is an intellectualist school in Hasidic Judaism, translating the mystical faith of General-Hasidism and the movement's founder into an intellectual Habad articulation. The works of the last Habad leader focus on uniting the different aspects of traditional Jewish thought, exoteric and esoteric, through the Habad explanation. The four levels of Pardes in Kabbalah articulate the Four spiritual Worlds and the four soul levels in Action, Emotion, Understanding and Wisdom. In the discourse he describes General-Hasidism relating through faith to the essence of the soul, the Torah, and God (Hasidic focus on Divine Omnipresence perceived by the soul's essence). In esoteric Kabbalistic terminology this relates to the fifth (highest) primary World of Adam Kadmon, and the above-conscious fifth (highest) soul level of Will (internal aspect: soul-root "Delight"), called in Kabbalah "Yehida-Unity". He describes Habad thought articulating in intellectual grasp the essence-fifth level of Torah exegesis, Hasidut-Yehida not listed above the four levels of PaRDeS because as essence it is not limited to a particular form. Peshat, Remez, Drush and Sod are constrained by their limited disciplines: from Peshat describing material perception to Sod-Kabbalah limited to the esoteric supernal emanations of God. As essence, Hasidic thought, investigated intellectually in Habad, both transcends all four levels of Pardes in its own exegetical explanation, and permeates within the four. Yechida-Essence is revealed through the four levels of Pardes, but not constrained by them. The particular exegeses of PaRDeS become connected together in light of the Hasidic exegesis. In this way, the discourse describes Kabbalah, which gains psychological understanding through Hasidism, being actually a limited esoteric commentary on Hasidism's Yehida-Essence. Kabbalah remains transcendent, while Hasidic thought emphasizes action, as the Atzmut essence of God receives its true revelation in the materiality of creation, the omnipresent divinity related in Hasidic thought.

The Pardes exegesis system flows from traditional belief in the text as Divine revelation; Mosaic authorship in regard to the Torah, prophetic inspirations in the rest of Tanakh, and belief in Oral Torah transmission. Modern Jewish denominations differ over the validity of applying modern historical-critical exegetical methods to Scripture. Haredi Judaism regards the Oral Torah texts as revelation, and can apply Pardes method to read classic Rabbinic literature. Modern Orthodox Judaism is open to historical critical study of Rabbinic literature and some application to the later Biblical canon. Additionally, some Modern Orthodox scholars have looked at Biblical Criticism on the Torah, incorporating some of its views within traditional belief in Mosaic revelation.

Beginning with Samuel David Luzzatto in the nineteenth century, there has been an approach to understanding the Torah that finds statements in classical Jewish commentaries on the Bible that would allow acceptance of revelation, and still use Lower Criticism. Comments of Rashbam, Ibn Ezra, Ibn Caspi, Judah Ha-Hasid, and Abravenel have been used in this historical-philological form of Peshat.

In the 20th Century, the Conservative Judaism philosopher-theologian Abraham Joshua Heschel, while accepting modern scholarship, saw existentialist revelation and Divine encounter as the foundation of legitimate Bible interpretation. His 1962 masterwork, Torah min HaShamayim BeAspaklariya shel HaDorot (English: Torah from Heaven in the Light of the Generations) is a study of classical rabbinic theology and aggadah (spiritual thought), as opposed to halakha (Jewish law) in revealing the Divinity of Torah study. It explores the views of the Rabbis in the Talmud, Midrash and among the philosophical and mystical traditions, about the nature of Torah, the revelation of God to mankind, prophecy, and the ways that Jews have used scriptural exegesis to expand and understand these core Jewish texts in a living, fluid spiritual exegesis.

The Pardes typology has some similarities to the contemporary Christian fourfold allegorical scheme.

Ja'far al-Sadiq (the last caliph before the schism of Sunni and Shia Islam) asserted that the Quran has four levels of interpretation similar to that of the Pardes: "The Book of God has four things: literal expression ('ibāra), allusion (ishāra), subtleties (laṭā'if), and deepest realities (ḥaqā'iq). The literal expression is for the common folk ('awāmm), the allusion is for the elite (khawāṣṣ), the subtleties are for the friends of God (awliyā'), and the deepest realities are for the prophets (anbiyā')."

^ Rabinowitz, Louis (1963). "The Talmudic Meaning of Peshat". Tradition: A Journal of Orthodox Thought. 6 (1) - via The Talmudic Meaning of Peshat, The Lookstein Center, Bar-Ilan University. Accessed 2020-09-15.

^ Babylonian Talmud Hagigah 14b; Mishneh Torah Hilchot Yesodei Hatorah 4:13, 7:1; Mishneh Torah Hilchot Talmud Torah 1:12, Moreh Nevuchim 2:30

This exegesis is an example of ^ Remez, but gains further meaning in Sod by the Kabbalistic doctrine that Creation was enacted through the Hebrew letters of the Torah.

Compare references in Weber's ^ Jüdische Theologie, 2d ed., 1897, pp. 344 et seq.

^ On the Essence of Chasidus: A Chasidic Discourse by Rabbi Menachem M Schneerson, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Kehot publications, reissued 2003. This is a bi-lingual translation of the original Hebrew Maamar Inyana Shel Toras HaHasidus-The Concept of the Torah of Hasidism, originally delivered orally in 1965, then edited by the Rebbe with footnotes

^ Modern Scholarship in the Study of Torah: Contributions and Limitations (The Orthodox Forum Series), Shalom Carmy editor, Jason Aronson publishers, 1996. Also Rabbi Dr. Nathan Lopes Cardozo study: On Bible Criticism and Its Counterarguments 2006

Aggadic Man: The Poetry and Rabbinic Thought of Abraham Joshua Heschel Archived 2016-03-04 at the Wayback Machine, Alan Brill, Meorot Journal - A Forum of Modern Orthodox Discourse 6:1, 2006. Pages 15-16

An English translation by Gordon Tucker is titled ^ Heavenly Torah: As Refracted Through the Generations

From ^ Spiritual Gems: The Mystical Qur'an Commentary ascribed to Ja'far al-Sadiq as contained in Sulami's Haqa'iq al-Tafsir (Louisville: Fons Vitae, 2011), trans. Farhana Mayer, p. 1

Jewish Encyclopedia links

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" Pardes" refers to (types of) approaches to biblical exegesis in rabbinic Judaism or to interpretation of text in Torah study. The term, sometimes also rendered PaRDeS, is an acronym formed from the initials of the following four approaches: Remez (רֶמֶז‎) - "hints" or the deep (allegoric: hidden or symbolic) meaning beyond just the literal sense.

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The four-dimensional model for Torah study is called PaRDeS, which takes its name from the sound of the first letter of each dimension:

P’shat is the simple, basic story: who said and did what with whom, how and what came of it.

Remez are hints in the language of the text, such as metaphors that open up opportunities for deeper meaning.

D’rash are the missing dialogue and difficulties in the text that your imagination can fill in and so expand the inspiration and meaning.

Sod is the secret. What hidden meanings are embedded in the text that will help you relate to it today?

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Sample Chapter: The Four Dimensions of Torah Study and Dvar Torah Creation, the PaRDeS Model
fromReclaiming Bar/Bat Mitzvah as a Spiritual Rite of Passage: An Empowering Guide for Students, Families, Educators, and Clergy by Rabbi Goldie Milgram

Pardes means "paradise" in Hebrew. How do you think the ancient rabbinic sages would imagine paradise? A Jewish folk tale gives their vision of paradise as spending eternity sitting near the tree of knowledge in the garden of Eden learning Torah. Actually, we can all experience this kind of Eden in the here and now because paradise is a state of mind that can happen during Torah study.

On this website in the Sample Chapter sections from Make Your Own Bar/Bat Mitzvah, you have experienced the four-dimensional model for Torah study called PaRDeS, which takes its name from the sound of the first letter of each dimension:

P'shat is the simple, basic story: who said and did what with whom, how and what came of it.

Remez are hints in the language of the text, such as metaphors that open up opportunities for deeper meaning.

D'rash are the missing dialogue and difficulties in the text that your imagination can fill in and so expand the inspiration and meaning.

Sod is the secret. What hidden meanings are embedded in the text that will help you relate to it today?
For Example, Take Careful Note of Names
Interpretive opportunity knocks within the names of people and places in the Torah. Names help tell the story.

For example, Exodus 19 mentions by name the places in the wilderness through which the Israelites wandered for thirty-seven years; these names appear nowhere else in the Torah. Each name has a root word that describes an experience; for example, the first is Rimon Peretz. Rimon means "pomegranate," and peretz means "burst." In modern Hebrew rimon means both pomegranate and hand grenade. This portion could contain the seed of opportunity for a d'var Torah on issues of territoriality in the Middle East.

Yitro (Jethro), the father-in-law of Moses, is a Midianite priest. This is an interesting opportunity to create a d'var Torah on intermarriage. Moses has married a Midianite woman. What will his relationship with his in-laws be like? The Torah gives us a clue, perhaps, because [Numbers 10:29] Yitro is also called Reul, meaning "friend of God." In fact, Yitro teaches Moses how to develop a leadership infrastructure so that he doesn't have to handle every Israelite who needs guidance or has a gripe himself. Many Bar and Bat Mitzvah students have one parent who isn't Jewish, who is, at the same time, wonderfully supportive of the child or stepchild's B-Mitzvah process. This portion might create an entry point to speaking about this sensitive subject.

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What is the Pardes Method of Torah Study and Dvar Torah Creation

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Sample Chapter: The Four Dimensions of Torah Study and Dvar Torah Creation, the PaRDeS Model fromReclaiming Bar/Bat Mitzvah as a Spiritual Rite of Passage: An Empowering Guide for Students, Families, Educators, and Clergy by Rabbi Goldie Milgram Pardes means "paradise" in Hebrew. How do you think the ancient rabbinic sages would imagine paradise?

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Deuteronomy 22:5 is to gender expression what Leviticus 18:22 is to homosexuality. The verse states: “A man’s garment shall not be on a woman, nor shall a man wear a woman’s garment, for anyone who does so is an abomination of Hashem.” But as I understand it, this verse is the very source that not only permits transgender Jews to wear clothing that supports their gender identity, but also arguably obligates them in doing so.

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"Why are you wearing boy clothes?" This was a question posed by the principal of the Brandeis School, a community day school in New York, to a seven year old transgender student. "These aren't boy clothes! I am a boy, and these are my clothes," the child answered, confused as to how the principal could think that clothing has a gender. The boy's statement was pure and simple, but not enough to stop the school from expelling him for violating the dress code-according to which he conformed as a boy, just not a boy who is transgender.

To listen to the shiur version of Rabbi Moskowitz's piece, click here!

This verse is the very source that not only permits transgender Jews to wear clothing that supports their gender identity, but also arguably obligates them in doing so.

Gender identity and sexual identity are different, independent, and critical to distinguish in conversations about Jewish law and tradition. For those who choose to shut down conversations about these issues by quoting Scripture, Deuteronomy 22:5 is to gender expression what Leviticus 18:22 is to homosexuality. The verse states: "A man's garment shall not be on a woman, nor shall a man wear a woman's garment, for anyone who does so is an abomination of Hashem." But as I understand it, this verse is the very source that not only permits transgender Jews to wear clothing that supports their gender identity, but also arguably obligates them in doing so.

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To understand this reading, let's begin by looking at the issue of cross-dressing on Purim. Purim is a story about the shift from living with a hidden identity to coming out as truly oneself. It is not coincidental that we find expression of this theme in the laws about the holiday. The Code of Jewish Law, (R' Moses Isserles 1520-1572) explains:

"There is a custom to wear masks on Purim, for men to wear women's clothing, and for women to wear men's clothing. It is not prohibited because the only intention is to experience happiness and so too [it is not forbidden] to wear garments that contain rabbinically forbidden mixtures."

This passage seems to be revealing a caveat in the scriptural prohibition against cross-dressing. How can something that the Torah forbids, like cross-dressing, become permissible on account of the happiness it brings? Why doesn't Rav Moshe permit the wearing of biblically forbidden (and not simply rabbinically forbiden) mixtures of wool and linen under the same circumstance? What are we to learn from the comparison of wearing misgendered clothing-ostensibly a biblical prohibition-with "rabbinicialy forbidden mixtures"?

Clothing, which we use to cover our bodies, serves as a perpetual reminder of this sin.

When the Talmud asks where we find in the Torah an allusion to Haman, the evil villain from the Purim story, it brings a verse from the Garden of Eden after the snake causes Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit: "Who told you that you are naked? Have you eaten of the tree from which I commanded you not to eat?" In Hebrew, "from the tree" is hamin ha-eitz, which sounds similar to Haman who was also hung on a tree (an eitz).

The mystics explain that one of the consequences of eating from that tree was that we lost the letter "aleph" from the word "emet" (aleph-mem-tet), meaning truth, and we were punished with "met," death. The aleph, represents the One, Ruler of the world, whose name is Truth and who can't coexist with perversions of truth. G-d originally clothed us with light, but after the sin it was replaced with skin, as the garment for the soul. The difference in the Hebrew spelling of light and skin is one letter - aleph. The fall from light, which is spelled with an aleph, to skin, which is spelled with an ayin, expresses the subversive nature of coverings - in this case skin.

Clothing, which we use to cover our bodies, serves as a perpetual reminder of this sin. It reminds us that our spiritual identity is no longer our dominant mode of expression. We can now reconsider what Scripture meant in Deuteronomy 22:5, when it prohibits cross-dressing. The medieval commentator Rashi explains that the "abomination" is only when a person BOTH presents falsely as another gender, AND with licentious intentions to make it easier to sin by misrepresenting themselves as someone else. It is not, however, referring to someone who wears clothing to give voice to their true gender identity.

The rabbis intentionally do not uphold the prohibition against cross-dressing in moments where they might cause pain.

It is with this understanding that the The Code of Jewish Law operates. The rabbis intentionally do not uphold the prohibition against cross-dressing in moments where they might cause pain, where they would be obstacles in the performing of a mitzvah, or in circumstances deemed "uncommon" whose uniqueness needed no specific declaration.

"When we enter into the month of Adar, we increase our happiness." The rabbis interpret this talmudic teaching to allude to the reunification of our intimate coexistence with G-d. By creating spaces for people to be one with G-d as their most authentic, genuine, and honest selves, we are restoring the relationship with G-d in a way that reveals the truth that was lost with the original sin.

Each year on Purim, we are invited to wear costumes in order to diminish the role that clothing has in defining us with physical labels.

Our rabbis teach that on Purim we accepted the Torah again, but this time it wasn't out of fear, like at Mt Sinai. It was out of a unity of love, for G-d and each other, that brought a new level of acceptance for the differences we have as people, revealing unique aspects of G-d. Each year on Purim, we are invited to wear costumes in order to diminish the role that clothing has in defining us with physical labels. We amplify the voice of our soul that provides awareness of our true identity. By rejecting the right of transgender Jews to wear clothing that most supports their gender identity in religious spaces, it is not only a communal failure of our responsibility to provide sanctuary for all of G-d's children, but also a denial of the truth of the Torah itself.
To listen to the shiur version of Rabbi Moskowitz's piece, click here! Rabbi Mike Moskowitz is the senior educator for Uri L'Tzedek, Orthodox Social Justice and a vocal ally for inclusivity. He writes frequently at the intersection of transgender issues and Jewish thought. Posts are contributed by third parties. The opinions and facts in them are presented solely by the authors and JOFA assumes no responsibility for them.

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"Why are you wearing boy clothes?" This was a question posed by the principal of the Brandeis School, a community day school in New York, to a seven year old transgender student. "These aren't boy clothes! I am a boy, and these are my clothes," the child answered, confused as to how the principal could think that clothing has a gender.

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"I invented the word eco-kosher, to say that this is ecologically kosher. Now I'll give you an example of eco-kosher. The regular kosher way, is about the dishes that mustn't be contaminated, etc. If I pick a cup to have coffee, Styrofoam would be the best thing to have. It hasn't been used before and after I drink from it, I'll throw it away and nobody else will use it. From the usual kosher place that's the direction to go...but in comparison to what will happen to the planet by my drinking in a Styrofoam, I'd much rather make the other choice...eco-kosher."--Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi while teaching at Naropa Institute

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"I invented the word eco-kosher, to say that this is ecologically kosher. Now I'll give you an example of eco-kosher. The regular kosher way, is about the dishes that mustn't be contaminated, etc. If I pick a cup to have coffee, Styrofoam would be the best thing to have. It hasn't been used before and after I drink from it, I'll throw it away and nobody else will use it. From the usual kosher place that's the direction to go...but in comparison to what will happen to the planet by my drinking in a Styrofoam, I'd much rather make the other choice...eco-kosher."-- Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi while teaching at Naropa Institute

"To my teacher's words above, I would add a thought that occurs to the question, 'So why separate milk and meat in this day and age?' Our tradition teaches the importance of making distinctions. So look at the verse this practice derives from: "Do not seethe a kid in its mother's milk." (Ex. 23:19) Always the emphasis is on mother's milk as a source of life. Surely m eat requires a whole other category of thinking, how was the life taken, with a blessing, as painlessly as possible? To mix the essence of nurturing, milk, with meat, which is dead, is not done. It is too spiritually painful and does not cause the distinction which leads to thinking through your relationship to the chain of life and our methods of raising animals, feeding them, and slaughtering them.--Rabbi Goldie Milgram
An Essay on Eco-Spirituality
Eco-Spirituality is a huge movement in Jewish life and is one of the only places where all denominations speak in a unified voice. The blessing offered the first couple is: "fill the world and conquer it" (Genesis 1:28). Conquest can be for the purpose of exploitation or for the sake of development. Which was intended? Our sages answer this question in a homily:

When God created the first person, showing Adam all the trees in the Garden of Eden and saying, "See My handiwork, how beautiful and choice they are...be careful not to ruin and destroy my world, for if you do, there is no one to repair it after you" ( Midrash Rabba Ecclesiastes 7:13, s.v. Re-eh).

Torah views humans as being entrusted with the orderly and proper management of the world. Therefore we may not stand aside and watch the world being destroyed.

Kashrut (kosher) is part of the system of guidelines for ethical Jewish living called halachah (from the verb "walk" or noun "pathway" and is somewhat similar to "tao" in concept.) It continues to offer surprisingly protective principles, as illustrated in the Hebrew National Hot Dog commercial, speaking of reporting to a "Higher Authority." From the core of Kashrut I find it helpful, at first, to reclaim two principles:

1. Why, according to the Torah, do we keep kosher? In Leviticus, after the enumeration of permitted and prohibited animals, the text concludes: "For I am the Eternal your God; sanctify yourselves, therefore, and be holy, for I am holy." We keep kosher to be holy, as God is holy. This concept of holiness is associated more frequently and strongly with the dietary laws than with any of the other 613 biblical commandments.

Rabbi Samuel Weintraub:

"What does it mean to be holy, to be godlike? Partly, it means living ethically, for God is associated throughout the Torah with justice, compassion, and mercy. But holiness is more than ethical living; it involves an underlying religious attitude from which ethics and other humanistic systems are built.

That attitude, as Abraham Joshua Heschel described so eloquently, is one of awe, of an overpowering, nonrational appreciation of purity and completeness in the world and purpose and caring in all life. In strikingly ecological language, Heschel once defined awe as an "intuition for the creaturely dignity of all things and their preciousness to God." ( God in Search of Man, p. 75.)

This sense paves the way for ethics. As Professor Fritz Rothschild writes, "One has to be responsive before one can become responsible." ( Between God and Man, edited and introduced by Fritz A. Rothschild, p. 29.)

2. One who listens through your soul and intellect to Torah and who takes partnership in creation seriously, must ask, today, "What shall constitute conscious eating practice in our evolving Jewish tradition, i.e. what might Kashrut mean to me today?"

To further inquire: "As our ancestors were inspired in the inherited principles of conscious eating, preparation, raising and transportation of food, how today shall we extend these principles based on what we now know as environmentalists?"

Several important lines of Jewish ethical thought and biblical precept converge in a consideration of establishing a rationale and standards for eco-kosher foods, drugs and practices.

Let's consider three:

One can see the development of Jewish law and Jewish environmental ethics by tracing the principle of Bal Tashchit, do not destroy or waste, from its biblical origin through later rabbinic interpretation.

1) When, in your war against a city, you have to besiege it a long time in order to capture it, you must not destroy its trees, wielding the ax against them. You may eat of them, but you must not cut them down. Are the trees of the field human to withdraw before you into the besieged city? Only trees that you know do not yield food may be destroyed. (Deuteronomy 20:19-20)

2) Whoever breaks vessels, or tears garments, or destroys a building, or clogs a well, or does away with food in a destructive manner violates the negative mitzvah of bal tashchit ( Kiddushin 32a)

[Talmudic rulings on bal tashchit also prohibit the killing of animals for convenience ( Hullin 7b), wasting fuel ( Shabbat 67b), and a minority opinion classifies the eating of extravagant foods when one can eat simpler ones as a violation of this precept ( Shabbat 140b).]

3) It is forbidden to cut down fruit-bearing trees outside a besieged city, nor may a water channel be deflected from them so that they wither. Whoever cuts down a fruit-bearing tree is flogged. This penalty is imposed not only for cutting it down during a siege; whenever a fruit-yielding tree is cut down with destructive intent, flogging is incurred. It may be cut down, however, if it causes damage to other trees or to a field belonging to another man or if its value for other purposes is greater. The Law forbids only wanton destruction.... Not only one who cuts down trees, but also one who smashes household goods, tears clothes, demolishes a building, stops up a spring, or destroys articles of food with destructive intent transgresses the command "you must not destroy." Such a person is not flogged, but is administered a disciplinary beating imposed by the Rabbis. (Maimonides, Mishneh Torah, Laws of Kings and Wars 6:8,10)

4) One should be trained not to be destructive. When you bury a person, do not waste garments by burying them in the grave. It is better to give them to the poor than to cast them to worms and moths. Anyone who buries the dead in an expensive garment violates the negative mitzvah of bal tashchit. (Maimonides, Mishneh Torah, Mourning 14:24)

5) The purpose of this mitzvah [ bal tashchit] is to teach us to love that which is good and worthwhile and to cling to it, so that good becomes a part of us and we will avoid all that is evil and destructive. This is the way of the righteous and those who improve society, who love peace and rejoice in the good in people and bring them close to Torah: that nothing, not even a grain of mustard, should be lost to the world, that they should regret any loss or destruction that they see, and if possible they will prevent any destruction that they can. Not so are the wicked, who are like demons, who rejoice in destruction of the world, and they are destroying themselves. ( Sefer Ha-Hinukh, #529)

Implications for ECO-Kashrut: For many foods the largest production element today is packing. Reduction in energy use and destruction of trees must become serious considerations in the Kosher-certification system. We can include the environmental appropriateness of packaging methods in determining if a product will be considered kosher. Products which do not come in recycle-able containers, for example, could be determined non-kosher . An increased emphasis on people bringing their own containers for eggs, milk, etc. could become a principle of kashrut. Refrigerators and other appliances could receive eco-kosher certification if they have low energy consumption or favor alternative energy sources.

Tzaar Baalei Chayyim, the prohibition against cruelty to animals, is a very important issue according to Jewish law and lies at the heart of kosher methods of slaughter and the Jewish rationale for vegetarianism.

There are numerous references forbidding cruelty which are found in the Torah (see attached materials). Well known among these are:

Not to kill a cow and her calf in the same day (See Leviticus 22:28, Exodus 23:5 and Deuteronomy 22:4.

Not bypass an animal which has collapsed under its load (Exodus 23:5 and Deuteronomy 22:4.)

Not to eat the flesh of a live animal (See Deuteronomy 12:23)

Sending away the mother bird before taking her eggs
( Deut 22:6-7)

Not to work two animals of different strength under one yoke
(See Deut. 22:6-10)

These are just a few examples that show the sensitivity in which we are meant to deal with both wildlife and animals that we own. Some eighteen different laws of the Torah call upon us to live in awareness of the fact that God's creatures require our care and deserve our attention.

Jewish tradition is rich in stories teaching concern about cruelty to animals, among them: The story of Balaam beating his donkey and the donkey protesting, Rabbi Yehuda the Hassid stopping the spurring of horses in the Middle Ages, Story of Hassidic Rabbi Velvel stopping the whipping of the horses., the Jewish legal guide the Shulhan Aruch forbids tying animals' legs in a painful manner..

A gem of a story I found while writing this paper follows:

Rabbi Abramtzi was a man full of compassion for all living things. He would not walk on the grass of the field lest he trample it down. He was very careful not to tread on grasshoppers or crawling insects. If a dog came to the door of his house, he would instruct the members of his household to feed the animal. In winter he would scatter crumbs of bread and seed on the windowsills. When sparrows and other birds arrived and began to pick at the food, he could not remove his gaze from them and his face would light up with joy like that of a little child.

He looked after his horses far better than his coachmen did. When traveling, if the coach had to ascend an incline, he would climb down in order to lighten the load, and more often than not he would push the cart from behind. On summer days he would compel his coachman to stop on the way and turn aside to a field in order that the horses could rest and partake of the pure green grass. The rabbi loved these rest periods in the forest. While the horses were grazing, he would sit under a tree and interest himself in a book. At times he would pray in the field or the forest. This gave him great pleasure, for he used to say,

"The field and the forest are the most beautiful and finest of the Houses of the Lord."

It happened once that the rabbi was on the road on a Friday. It would take another three hours to reach home. Because of the rain, the road was a mess. The wagon could only proceed with difficulty; the mud gripped the wheels and slowed down its progress. It was midday and they had not even completed half the journey. The horses were tired and worn out. They had no energy to proceed further.

The "tzaddik" (saint) told the driver to stop and to give fodder to the horses, so that they could regain their strength. This was done. Afterwards the journey was continued, but the going was heavy and the wagon sank up to the hubs of the wheels in the mud. In fact it was with the greatest difficulty that the horses maintained their balance in the swampy ground. The vapor of sweat enveloped their skin. Their knees trembled and at any moment they would have to rest. The coachman scolded and urged them on. He then raised his whip on the unfortunate creatures. The tzaddik grabbed him by the elbow and cried out: "This is cruelty to animals, cruelty to animals." The coachman answered in fury: "What do you want me to do? Do you want us to celebrate the Sabbath here?"

"What of it?" replied the rabbi quietly. "It is better that we celebrate the Sabbath here than cause the death of these animals by suffering. Are they not the creatures of the Lord? See how exhausted they are? They have not the energy to take one more step forward." "But what of the Sabbath? How can Jews observe the Sabbath in the forest?" asked the coachman.

"My friend, it does not matter. The Sabbath Queen will come to us also here, for her glory fills the whole world, and particularly in those places where Jews yearn for her. The Lord shall do what is good in His eyes. He will look after us, supply us with our wants and guard us against all evil."

--Ben Ami, quoted in Joe Green, the Jewish Vegetarian Tradition pp.19-20.

3. Shmirat Haguf is the mitzvah to treat your body as sacred space.

"Take care of yourself, and guard your soul diligently" Deuteronomy 4:9

"A Jewish body is very precious since it is necessary for the performance of the practical mitzvot, upon which the rectification of the entire world depends."'Avraham Greenbaum

"Every person must take great care of his[her] physical body" Likutey Moharan I,22:5

4. Treatment of Laborers: The mitzvah of halanat sachar requires that workers be paid on time. Considerations of labor standards are an essential ethical complement to matters of keeping kosher. Learn more:

The mitzvah of shmirat haguf leads to asking about the role of insecticides and hormones in the growing of vegetables and raising of animals. Bovine growth hormone, for example, can affect the growth and development of children. Can this practice be allowed for kosher milk, because it does pass into the animals milk.

Certain insecticides can compromise health in many ways, will this begin to be taken into account in certifying products as kosher or simply each individual Jew choosing what will be part of your sacred conscious eating practice?

A prime example of an issue of Tzaar Baalei Chayyim still common today is the raising of veal calves for slaughter.

On-line one can also find a further explication for the situation with veal (ibid):

Veal is considered a delicacy when white and tender. The meat is white because limited amounts of iron and hemoglobin which contain vital pigments are allowed to enter the calves'' muscles. This is accomplished in a number of ways. The calves'' movements are severely restricted within tiny cages made entirely of wood (no contact with any metal is allowed) and they are never exercised or removed from the cages for cleaning. They are kept in complete darkness and cannot see the other calves. Additionally, their diet consists entirely of milk or milk replacer, which prevents them from growing and developing normally. On post-mortem exams, their rumens are completely undeveloped. But more significantly, another very consistent post-mortem finding is the lack of a thymus. The thymus is an essential organ in the immune system of young animals. It is normally present in cattle until approximately two to three years of age, and the normal size in calves is about two and a half inches long. Early involution of the thymus has been shown to be caused by the induction of abnormally high levels of cortisol, as occurs in stressful situations. Complete involution is usually seen in veal calves at slaughter, most probably due to the extreme stress in which they are raised.

This is still an issue of which the consumer is largely unaware. All who are concerned about Tzaar Baalei Chayyim, as well as keeping the strictest ethical level of Kashrut can act decisively against this abuse. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, recently deceased may his memory be for a blessing, did write concerning veal calves raised in crates, in which he states

...it is definitely forbidden to raise calves in such a manner because of the pain that is inflicted on them....it is forbidden to cause them pain for no reason, even if someone may profit from this." (On-line at www.chai-online)

Here are examples of what can be done in a Jewish religious context:

Do not eat veal when in other people''s homes.

Do not use a caterer with veal on the menu for events.

Pressure the local butcher and caterers to find out where their veal comes from, and the methods used in raising the calves at those plants.

Ask local Rabbis not to give Hashgacha (certification) to Kosher establishments unless veal (from inappropriate sources) is removed from the menu.

Raise this matter in transdenominational contexts, find advocates throughout the spectrum of Judaism and friends in all religious traditions. Do this for the love of G-d and how we translate G-d's love through our actions.

Additionally, tzaar baalei chayyim precepts can become a lens for
* reviewing the impact of insecticides on indigenous creatures and plants in farming areas in regard to kashrut certification. * applied to testing of pharmaceutical products. The kosherness of pharmaceuticals has become a matter of great concern recently due to gelatin capsules being made from the hooves of non-kosher animals, and insulin which is less expensive when made from pigs. These concerns opened the important arenas of pharmaceutical manufacture and testing to kashrut supervision and animal testing could be placed under strict proscription within the framework of eco-kashrut. * Preventing cloned animals from being considered kosher, until or unless the process normalizes to where most births are normal and animals are not suffering. * Restriction of genetically engineered fruits and vegetables from kashrut certification until or unless there are controlled studies demonstrating their safety and product labeling indicates cross-over allergies/problems possible from the process.
In conclusion, by expanding the already vigilant system know as kashrut to include the hermeneutics of environmentalism, a public/planet health system can be effectuated of wide benefit. This is not to say that religious systems which supervise food production do not have problems which must also be addressed, however they are a carefully worked out, longstanding process rich in ethics and procedures.

Some recommended reading:
https://hazon.org/jewish-food-movement/jewish-food-movement-educational-materials/
David Seidenberg, K abbalah and Ecology: God's Image in the More-Than-Human World, Cambridge University Press, 2016.

Ellen Bernstein, Ecology and the Jewish Spirit: Where Nature and the Sacred Meet, Jewish Lights 2000

Arthur Waskow (Ed): Torah of the Earth: Exploring 4,000 Years of Ecology in Jewish Thought (2 Volumes), Jewish Lights, 2001.

Ari Elon, Naomi Hyman, and Arthur Waskow (Ed) Trees, Earth and Torah: A Tu B'Shvat Anthology, The Jewish Publication Society, 1999.)

Evan Eisenberg, The Ecology of Eden, Vintage Books, 1999.

Elijah Judah Shochet, Animal Life in Jewish Tradition, New York: Ktav Publishing House, 1984.

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Eco-Kosher: Jewish Spirituality in Action

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"I invented the word eco-kosher, to say that this is ecologically kosher. Now I'll give you an example of eco-kosher. The regular kosher way, is about the dishes that mustn't be contaminated, etc. If I pick a cup to have coffee, Styrofoam would be the best thing to have.

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A rich tradition, these free-form documents can provide comfort to the dying and their loved ones.

For centuries, Jewish parents have passed down wisdom and values to their children by crafting end-of-life documents called tzava'ot or "ethical wills." Much as a legal will enables one to dole out assets and possessions to one's heirs, an ethical will gives the writer an opportunity to share their wealth of wisdom: lessons they've learned over a lifetime, where they found meaning in their lives, and what they may want for their loved ones going forward.
READ: How to Get Started Writing a Jewish Ethical Will
Traditionally, Jewish ethical wills contained a number of items, including burial instructions, debts and obligations to be paid, requests that family members carry on specific religious traditions, and blessings over the family. But modern ethical wills are less about accounting and instruction and more about imparting wisdom or wishes or simply reviewing one's life. They are often written in the form of a letter and addressed to one's children, but they can take many forms. There is no halachic (Jewish law) template or script they must follow.

Ethical Will Origins

In biblical times, ethical wills were often instructional and became a record of a person's final wishes. Near death, the patriarch Jacob blessed his children and told them where he wanted to be buried. Rabbi Charles Rudansky, pastoral director for MJHS Health System in New York City explains that Jacob was setting a model of preparation for a Jewish death. "His example was to get your house in order and begin to convey to the next generations your wishes, your legacy, your hopes, your blessings, and in some cases, your rebuke," Rudansky explains. "Jacob's messages to his children are the starting points in terms of what Jewish tradition feels should be discussed at the end of life."

The Talmud contains references to verbal ethical wills or deathbed instructions left by sages and scholars. As Rabbi Eliezer, a notable scholar of the Talmud, lay dying, he criticized his students for not taking advantage of the opportunities they had to learn from him. His aim was to move his students to learn from his teachings even after his death. (Sanhedrin: 68)

In the Middle Ages, ethical wills were shared privately among families. One of the most famous ethical wills from this time was written by Spanish Jewish physician and scholar Judah ibn Tibbon to his son, Samuel when he died in France in the 12th century. It ran over 50 pages long and covered a wide range of topics, from the importance of books - he wrote the familiar line "let books be your companions; let bookcases and shelves be your pleasure grounds and gardens" - to a harsh rebuke of his son whom he felt wasn't living up to his expectations.

Ethical Wills During the Holocaust and Beyond

Zippora Birman, a member of the Jewish Underground in the Bialystok ghetto in Poland, left an ethical will to future generations of Jews before she died in 1943. Birman's notes, discovered after the war, included a call to action for "Vengeance, vengeance- with no mercy, with no sentimentality."

Yad Vashem, the Holocaust Museum and Memorial in Israel holds a number of ethical wills hastily written by Jews before they were killed at the hands of the Nazis. Like Birman's will, many also call for vengeance. Others thank the writer's parents, ask for a proper Jewish burial and express an unending love for God.

After the Holocaust, ethical wills became a tool to help future generations understand how Jews who survived held onto their faith despite the suffering they endured and to impart the message of why they felt supporting Israel, a Jewish state, was so important. Today, some secular Jews use this medium to convey to their children why they believe it's important to stay connected to a Jewish community even if Judaism is not at the center of their lives. For examples of ethical wills written by contemporary American Jews, see Rabbi Jack Riemer and Dr. Nathaniel Stampfer's Ethical Wills and How to Prepare Them.

The Universality of Ethical Wills

In his book Ethical Wills: Putting Your Values on Paper, author Barry Baines notes that Christian texts also contain illustrations of verbal ethical wills. He points to John 15-17, a recounting of Jesus's parting advice and blessings to his followers. Baines concedes that the term "ethical will" is of uncertain origin but offers his interpretation of the name: "as writing became more common, attachments to legal wills were discovered that contained the title of "Teachings of the Fathers." While legal wills provided instructions on what to do with material assets, the "ethical" sections contained instructions on how to lead a moral and upright life. I like the analogy: legal wills bequeath valuables, while ethical will bequeath values."

A number of secular groups also encourage people to write ethical wills. One such group is Celebrations of Life , which strives, through its website and podcast, to give all people the tools to create an ethical will. There are also professional writers who can explain the process, share sample ethical wills, and help clients write their own ethical will.

Ethical will writing is a key part of end-of-life or hospice care, with many hospice nurses or social workers encouraging their patients to write one. An ethical will is usually intended for the benefit of family members after a parent or grandparent has died, but the process of ruminating on one's own legacy and what one values most can be an emotional and healing experience for a person coming to terms with their own mortality. Proponents of ethical wills say it can end up being just as meaningful for the author to write an ethical will as it is for their intended audience to read it. Doctors and other palliative care professionals often "prescribe" or suggest their terminal patients engage with ethical-will writing as a comforting component of their end-of-life care.

Receiving and Reading an Ethical Will

Writing an ethical will can be challenging, and similarly, reading an ethical will is not always an easy thing to do in the aftermath of a loved one's death. In Ethical Wills: A Modern Jewish Treasury, Riemer and Stampfer describe the feeling of receiving an ethical will as "sort of like reading a love letter from the beyond. There is a sense of being a voyeur, of eavesdropping on an intimate conversation." They recommend recognizing the privilege of being given an ethical will, holding it in perspective and treating it with reverence and gratitude, even if the will presents the reader with a burden or sense of guilt.

How Can I Create an Ethical Will?

Ethical wills are not legal documents so they can take any shape the writer wishes. In most cases, they are written or typed, but they can also be shared widely through video platforms and social media. An ethical will may contain photographs or illustrations or take the form of a collage. It can read like a letter or a laundry list of ideas. It can be addressed to one's children and grandchildren, to a friend, or anyone and everyone else you think should read it.

There is no template for an ethical will; however, a number of rabbis, synagogues and JCCs offer courses in ethical will writing. Hospice workers and colleges can also be a resource. Find some exercises to help you get started here.

If a person near death is unable or uninterested in writing an ethical will on their own, hospice workers can step in and help their patients with verbal ethical wills. These are nonjudgmental, non-threatening conversations social workers or chaplains have with dying patients that are either recorded with audio or video, or simply transcribed after talking to the patient about their life. This is often an easier way for a person who is uncomfortable talking about certain subjects or memories to leave a legacy for their families.

Additional Resources

Much like sitting shiva or watching over the dead before burial, writing an ethical will is one of a number of rituals where Jews can find meaning and spirituality while engaging with their own mortality. Consider the links below to get started writing your own.
Step By Step Directions: How to Write an Ethical Will in Six Easy Steps Ethical Wills: The Gift of a Heart - Robert G. Alexander Ethical Wills - What They Are And How To Write One - Kari Berit Ethical Will Resource Kit
Ethical Wills and How to Prepare Them - Rabbi Jack Riemer and Dr. Nathaniel Stampfer

Sign up for a Journey Through Grief & Mourning: Whether you have lost a loved one recently or just want to learn the basics of Jewish mourning rituals, this 8-part email series will guide you through everything you need to know and help you feel supported and comforted at a difficult time.

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Jewish Ethical Wills (Tzava'ot) | My Jewish Learning

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A rich tradition, these free-form documents can provide comfort to the dying and their loved ones. For centuries, Jewish parents have passed down wisdom and values to their children by crafting end-of-life documents called tzava'ot or "ethical wills."

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Rabbi Nachman, great-grandson of the founder of the Hassidic movement, lived and taught in Breslov 200 years ago. The tales he told were cherished and analyzed by his disciples and published as the Sippurey Maasioth in Hebrew and Yiddish in 1816 and again in 1840. To the Rebbe’s followers, these stories about kings and beggars are holy allegories and parables intended to move people toward God with hidden lessons of moral guidance. They are a mixture of intellectual and poetic imagination, fairy tales rooted in Kabbalistic symbolism and Biblical and Talmudic sources.

https://www.jewishbookcouncil.org/book/the-lost-princess-and-other-kabbalistic-tales-of-rebbe-nachman-of-breslov

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Book of

Which we have been privileged to hear from the mouth of Rabbeinu Hakadosh, the Hidden and Concealed Light, Nachal Nove`a Mekor Chokhmah/ The Gushing Stream, The Source of Wisdom, HaRav Rebbe NACHMAN ztzuk"l of Breslev, great grandson of the Ba`al Shem Tov Hakadosh and composer of the books Likutei Moharan and several other compendia.

Go out and see the might of your Master Who has illuminated heavenly Torah for us to enliven us as [sure as] it is this day, for the everlasting world; and our God has not forsaken us in our servitude but has extended kindness to us in each and every generation and has sent us deliverers and rabbis and tzadikei yesodei `olam/righteous ones, foundation of the world to teach us the way. His first [mercies] have come to pass and yet His mercies have not ceased at any period or any time. And He has performed kindness for us, drawing water from the wellsprings of salvation, ancient things, words which are the secret of the world, under wonderful and awesome clothings. See and understand and look at His wonderful and awesome way, which is an inheritance to us from our holy forefathers who were during ancient times in Yisrael.

For such is the way of the upper holy ones, harvesters of the field, who raised their hands and hearts to God, to clothe and conceal the King's treasure houses in story tales according to the generation and according to the times, knowing the understanding of times, to know what Yisrael should do, until [Mashiach] arises and delivers Tziyon and returns to build the ruins of Ariel. "Now Ya`akov and Yisrael are told what God has done."

Chinese

English

Hebrew

Hindi

Persian

Yiddish

,ספר סיפורי מעשיות Keren Hadfasah D'Chasidei Breslev, Jerusalem, 2002. A Newly typeset edition of the original 1815, including the Second Introduction from the second printing and "many corrections."

Rabbi Nachman's Stories, Translated by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Breslov Research Institute, Jerusalem, 1985. A pleasant read, containing many explanatory notes, though some liberties are taken that deviate from the originals.

Click here for a page containing this entire book on one (LARGE) page!
Translation:Tales of Rabbi Nachman/All

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Tales of Rabbi Nachman - Wikisource, the free online library

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Book of Which we have been privileged to hear from the mouth of Rabbeinu Hakadosh, the Hidden and Concealed Light, Nachal Nove`a Mekor Chokhmah/ The Gushing Stream, The Source of Wisdom, HaRav Rebbe NACHMAN ztzuk"l of Breslev, great grandson of the Ba`al Shem Tov Hakadosh and composer of the books Likutei Moharan and several other compendia.