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Back to School Tip #1: Focus on Feelings | The Kissing Hand

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Potty training tips: 6 strategies used by daycare teachers - Today’s Parent

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Potty training is tough. These toddler-room teachers shared their tips for making potty training easier.

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When Are Kids Ready to Toilet Train?

Many parents are unsure about when to start toilet training or "potty training." Not all kids are ready at the same age, so it's important to watch your child for signs of readiness, such as stopping an activity for a few seconds or clutching his or her diaper.

Instead of using age, look for signs that your child may be ready to start heading for the potty, such as being able to:

follow simple instructions

understand and use words about using the potty

make the connection between the urge to pee or poop and using the potty

keep a diaper dry for 2 hours or more

get to the potty, sit on it for enough time, and then get off the potty

pull down diapers, disposable training pants, or underpants

show an interest in using the potty or wearing underpants

Most children begin to show these signs when they're between 18 and 24 months old, though some may not be ready until later than that. And boys often start later and take longer to learn to use the potty than girls.

There are some times when you may want to put off starting toilet training, such as:

when traveling

around the birth of a sibling

changing from the crib to the bed

moving to a new house

when your child is sick (especially if diarrhea is a factor)

How Long Does Toilet Training Take?

Teaching a toddler to use the potty isn't an overnight task. It often takes between 3 and 6 months, but can take more or less time for some children. If you start too soon, the process tends to take longer. And it can take months to even years to master staying dry at night.

Potty Types

The two basic potty options are:

a standalone, toddler-size potty chair with a bowl that can be emptied into the toilet

a toddler-size seat that can be placed on top of a toilet seat that will let your child feel more secure and not fear falling in. If you choose this, get a stepping stool so your child can reach the seat comfortably and feel supported while having a bowel movement.

It's usually best for boys to first learn to use the toilet sitting down before learning to pee standing up. For boys who feel awkward - or scared - about standing on a stool to pee in the toilet, a potty chair may be a better option.

You may want to get a training potty or seat for every bathroom in your house. You may even want to keep a potty in the trunk of your car for emergencies. When traveling long distances, be sure to take a potty seat with you and stop every 1 to 2 hours. Otherwise, it can take too long to find a restroom.

About Training Pants

Disposable training pants are a helpful step between diapers and underwear. Because kids' nighttime bladder and bowel control often lags behind their daytime control, some parents like using training pants at night. Others prefer that their child use training pants when they're out and about. Once the training pants remain dry for a few days, kids can make the switch to wearing underwear.

But some people think that disposable training pants might make kids think it's OK to use them like diapers, thus slowing the toilet-teaching process.

Ask your doctor if your child would benefit from using disposable training pants as a transitional step.

Tips for Toilet Training

Even before your child is ready to try the potty, you can prepare your little one by teaching about the process:

Use words to express the act of using the toilet ("pee," "poop," and "potty").

Ask your child to let you know when a diaper is wet or soiled.

Identify behaviors ("Are you going poop?") so that your child can learn to recognize the urge to pee and poop.

Get a potty chair your child can practice sitting on. At first, your child can sit on it wearing clothes or a diaper. When ready, your child can go bare-bottomed.

If you've decided that your child is ready to start learning how to use the potty, these tips may help:

Set aside some time to devote to the potty-training process.

Don't make your child sit on the toilet against his or her will.

Show your child how you sit on the toilet and explain what you're doing (because your child learns by watching you). You also can have your child sit on the potty seat and watch while you (or a sibling) use the toilet.

Establish a routine. For example, you may want to begin by having your child sit on the potty after waking with a dry diaper, or 45 minutes to an hour after drinking lots of liquids. Only put your child on the potty for a few minutes a couple of times a day, and let your child get up if he or she wants to.

Have your child sit on the potty within 15 to 30 minutes after meals to take advantage of the body's natural tendency to have a bowel movement after eating (this is called the gastro-colic reflex). Also, many kids have a time of day they tend to have a bowel movement.

Ask your child to sit on the potty if you see clear clues of needing to go to the bathroom, such as crossing legs, grunting, or squatting.

Empty a bowel movement (poop) from your child's diaper into the toilet, and tell your child that poop goes in the potty.

Avoid clothes that are hard to take off, such as overalls and shirts that snap in the crotch. Kids who are potty training need to be able to undress themselves.

Offer your child small rewards, such as stickers or time reading, every time your child goes in the potty. Keep a chart to track of successes. Once your little one appears to be mastering the use of the toilet, let him or her pick out a few new pairs of big-kid underwear to wear.

Make sure all caregivers - including babysitters, grandparents, and childcare workers - follow the same routine and use the same names for body parts and bathroom acts. Let them know how you're handling toilet training and ask that they use the same approaches so your child won't be confused.

Praise all attempts to use the toilet, even if nothing happens. And remember that accidents will happen. It's important not to punish potty-training children or show disappointment when they wet or soil themselves or the bed. Instead, tell your child that it was an accident and offer your support. Reassure your child that he or she is well on the way to using the potty like a big kid.

Common Toilet Training Problems

Many kids who've been using the potty have some trouble during times of stress. For example, a 2- or 3-year-old dealing with a new sibling may start having accidents.

But if your child was potty-trained and is regularly having problems, talk with your doctor.

Talk to your doctor if you have any questions about toilet training or your child is 4 years or older and is not yet potty trained.

Date reviewed: March 2019

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Even before your child is ready to try the potty, you can prepare your little one by teaching about the process. Here are some tips.

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Behavior prevention and response strategies

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The following are resources to support families in helping young children cope with the challenges that might occur during stressful emergency or disaster situations. This website will be updated as we obtain more resources.

Let's work as a community to support our little ones! Do you have a COVID 19/emergency-related Pyramid Model or early childhood resource you want to share with families? Email it to sipayton@usf.edu.

For Early Childhood Professionals

For Early Childhood Professionals

ReOpening Early Childhood Programs

ReOpening Early Childhood Programs

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The following are resources to support families in helping young children cope with the challenges that might occur during stressful emergency or disaster situations. This website will be updated as we obtain more resources. Let's work as a community to support our little ones!

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Children Love to Learn

Open and honest communication will create a lifelong closeness with your child.

Routines and responsibilities will let your child know what to expect. When a rule is broken, a natural consequence needs to follow.

As you teach your child how to be independent, you also need to teach how to be safe.

Learning how to be a good friend is an important skill you can teach your child.

Your little one is starting to explore the world outside your home. This is exciting, but can be scary!

Children from 4 to 6 years old are:

Set Limits

When children do something against the rules, explain simply and in a few words:

That what they did was wrong

What will happen if the behavior continues Consequences need to be logical, meaningful, and simple. For example:

If your child rides a bike without a helmet, the bike is off limits for a day or two.

When your child won't share a toy, that toy can't be used for the rest of the day.

Create and Keep Routines

Teach about rules by setting up daily routines.

Children do best when they know what to expect.

In the morning:

At bedtime:

Schedule specific times for TV, video games, and use of the computer. When you know what your child is watching, you can avoid violence and other unacceptable content. Limit "total screen time" to no more than 2 hours a day.

Read at bedtime. This helps your child:

Have meals together as much as possible.

This is a great way to spend time together and share family traditions, while also teaching good eating habits and table manners.

Take Time to Talk and Listen

Children feel important when adults take the time to talk with them. Talking often, and about many things, helps them gain self-confidence. Ask about friendships and the activities that your child enjoys. Talk about your own best and worst experiences.

Ask your child:

Let your child know that it's OK to have and talk about negative feelings. Share the best and hard parts of your day. This teaches your child that we all have ups and downs.

Assign Responsibility

When young children copy everyday household tasks, they are really learning how to contribute. With your support, tasks will soon be done with few reminders. As children grow older, they can begin to take on real responsibilities, such as:

Watch your child's self-esteem grow when given the chance to help out.

Encourage Independence in Bathing and Dressing

At first, this may take a little more time than helping your child get dressed or take a bath, but

it is time well spent. Independence comes with practice, and with your guidance.

If you get the clothes ready the night before, the morning routine will involve only getting dressed. This way, your child can focus on just one thing. Your child may need to be reminded of all the steps.

Praise your child's efforts and successes:

"You did a great job getting yourself ready for school today!"

Teach Simple Rules About Safety with Adults

Keeping children safe is an important job for parents. You want your child to respect and trust others, but you also need to teach your child to be careful. Following are some simple rules and ways that you can start a conversation with your child about different safety issues.

"If you're not sure, ask me."

"If an adult asks you to do something that you're not sure is OK, always ask me first. I won't get mad at you for asking."

"No one should ever tell you to keep a secret from me-one that might make me mad if I found out. Adults should never expect you to do this."

"Certain body parts are private."

"No adults (except parents, doctors, and nurses) should touch you where you normally wear a bathing suit."

"If we get separated, find a security guard or police officer."

"This is a very busy place. If you can't find me, find a security guard or police officer, or ask someone to help you find one. That person will help you find me."

When you take your child to a crowded place, look around and point out the person who is there to help if you do become separated.

Help Your Child Become a Good Friend

Four- to six-year-olds are learning what it means to be a friend. They will have fun times as well as arguments and hurt feelings. It can be tempting for parents to try to solve these problems themselves or by talking with the other child's parent.Instead, guide your child to solve problems. With your help, your child can learn how to solve social problems.

1. Help your child understand the other child's point of view. "I guess Suzie wants a turn too."

2. Teach your child the following:

Connected Kids: Safe, Strong, Secure (Copyright © 2006 American Academy of Pediatrics)

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Growing Independence: Tips for Parents of Young Children

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Children as young as four are already looking for growing independence. A few ways to encourage your young child to be independent is to establish routines around the home, encourage them to share their thoughts, and assign them responsibilities and chores.

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Inclusion Lab readers, today I'm so excited to welcome a special guest to the blog to talk about a timely and important issue: mindfulness, and how to harness its power to help the children you work with and care for feel safe and secure. It's such a critical issue in this time of fear, uncertainty, and upheaval, and early childhood expert Dr. Kristie Pretti-Frontczak is supremely qualified to talk you through some practical strategies that can help.

Kristie just presented a great Early Childhood Investigations webinar on this topic, sponsored by Brookes, the company that brings you the Inclusion Lab. (Did you miss the webinar? You can sign up to watch the recording here .) Using her presentation as a jumping-off point, Kristie shares some helpful Mindfulness Safety Tips in today's guest post-and then offers some wise words from her fellow professionals and friends.

Read on for some tips you can use right away to embed mindfulness into your daily routines!

***

I have three T-shirts that I love. One reads, "Be Present," another reads, "Mindfulness," and the third reads, "Curiosity."

I think I love them so much because they all embody what is possible when I'm able to be self-aware, and at the same time, attentive and responsive to the needs of others.

Basically, they speak to my ability to "notice" what is happening inside and around me without reacting, judging, or overthinking things.

Mindfulness, in particular, embodies this idea of noticing.

Whether I'm working with early care and educational professionals, with families, or with children, mindfulness, for me, speaks to my ability to notice what is going on inside of me and around me.

Others define mindfulness using the following concepts:

awareness without judgment

taking time to nourish life-giving thoughts and actions

allowing your mind to be "full" in the present moment

paying attention on purpose

And as it seems with all things that are "good" about being human, we learn mindfulness from the minute we are born. We learn mindfulness through our supportive interactions with responsive and trustworthy caregivers.

But in today's climate of uncertainty, working and living at a breakneck pace, and having little time to appreciate being in the moment as we juggle competing demands, mindfulness can sometimes feel out of reach. Those of us in caregiving roles...struggle to be mindful.

So in this blog post, I'm unpacking three mindfulness tips shared during a webinar I facilitated through Early Childhood Investigations Webinars , that was sponsored by . In the webinar, I explore how all caregivers (parents, teachers, and therapists) can embed mindfulness into their daily routines to meet the needs of children, including those who are on IEPs and those who may struggle with self-regulation skills (i.e., struggle to manage stressors, direct their attention, or process big emotions). I also share how mindfulness strategies extend the zone of optimal learning for all children and support early brain development.

In the webinar, I build upon the work of Drs. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson (authors of ) by applying their framework of four S's , which include making sure children are safe, seen, soothed, and have secure attachments through mindful interactions. This framework ensures that children not only survive, but thrive in school and in life.

The following three tips were taken from a collection of six mindful ways caregivers can help children feel safe. (See the chart below for all six mindfulness strategies that help children feel safe.) These mindfulness "safety tips" are critical because as caregivers and educators, we have a responsibility to ensure that children are protected from harm and that we are not the source of fear or threat.

Mindfulness Safety Tip #1: Slow Down

This is actually the hardest tip put into practice...or even write about. I tend to think quickly, talk quickly, and take action quickly. But when I slow down, particularly when I'm faced with resistance by staff or when a child is doing something that "pushes my buttons," I can aim to connect first...even though my "go to" would be to talk a lot, have a reaction to the situation, and/or take quick action to solve or fix something.

By slowing down, I can notice what is going on for them and for me. I can notice what they need and what I'm worried or feeling anxious about. Slowing down also lets me notice what my non-verbals are communicating. Slowing down allows me to notice what my posture, tone, and even my pace are "saying." For example, are they saying, "You are safe, and I'm here to help"? Or are they saying, "Hurry up and do what I need you to be doing right now"? Slowing down lets me send signals that they are safe, and ensure I'm not causing them to feel fear or see me as a threat.

Mindfulness Safety Tip #2: Prompting and Priming

Prompting (or sometimes called priming) is when we encourage others to consider possibilities and notice potentials. describes the prompting/priming strategy as "allowing children to consider and plan their play as it unfolds...taking children off autopilot and inviting them to access the decision-making centers of the brain."

For me, a helpful way to think about this strategy is in three steps:

1. I pause....meaning I don't jump right in and say or do something.

2. I notice what the child is trying to communicate or what emotions and information they are trying to process.

3. I make a statement that invites discovery of the "why" behind the behavior. For example, I might say, "I wonder what you need," or "I wonder what might happen," or even "I wonder what you were trying to do."

By prompting or priming for possibilities we help children (and adults) turn to wonder and be curious...all while feeling safe enough to take a step outside of their comfort zone or what they would do on autopilot.

Mindfulness Safety Tip #3: Offer Lifelines

One of the hardest times to be mindful, at least for me, is when children (or adults for that matter) are engaged in behaviors that are challenging. In those moments, whether they are biting, kicking, resisting, or paying attention to anything but me, I have to notice that they are "outside the zone of optimal learning." At that moment, I need to notice that it is now my job to create calm in their mind and body so the limbic system registers that it is safe.

To do this, I need to act more like a boat captain who realizes one of their passengers has fallen overboard, rather than a teacher or parent. My job, at that moment, is to offer a lifeline. Lifelines signal that I'm here to connect, not to make them comply. Lifelines create time for them to process big emotions and develop the skills they need to cope and put their own "limbic brakes" on the next time. At that moment, it's not my job to try to manage their behaviors or focus on compliance.

Here is a short list of lifelines we can mindfully offer to help children feel safe:

Validate their emotions

Offer choices that will help them feel calm

Ask open-ended questions that are aimed toward understanding

Reduce sensory input by limiting audio and visual input

More Mindfulness Tips & Strategies

Knowing that when we fill up our own cups, we have the ability to give more to the children in our care, I asked a few of my friends to offer their tips on being more mindful. This way, as parents, caregivers, and early educators, we too not only survive, but thrive.

Here are the tips they wanted to share with you!

Journaling as a reflective practice is a great first step to mindfulness. You can notice your trends and triggers. Pay attention to feelings that stay with you without judging them; this could be frustration with a child or disappointment for how part of the day went. When you journal about them you can ask yourself, "What is my inner voice/narrative saying about this trigger?" Getting to your subconscious patterns without judging them or working to change them is a beautiful mindfulness practice.

Use a variety of mindfulness strategies and self-regulating techniques with children. This will allow them to connect to strategies that resonate within them. In a world that glorifies business and perfectionism, the goal is to teach children that they are human "be"ings and that they can refocus their attention to the present moment any time they need to reset and heal.

First us, then them...we need to practice what we teach. If we aren't mindful, when we attempt to teach mindfulness to children, we are going to find our efforts are hindered.

Give yourself time to reflect on the present reality, while also bringing hope to that reality, by asking questions like, "What's possible?" Integrate mindfulness practices into your existing daily routines instead of feeling the "shoulds" of adding more to your routine. For example, join kids in coloring, using it as a mindfulness activity that can help both you and the children you are teaching. When making a decision that impacts others, do a "mindful minute." Close your eyes and imagine yourself as the person you will impact with your decision. Imagine how it feels to be them in this moment. From that perspective, ask yourself what you may need to consider, feel, and think about. Then, when you feel you're in touch with that impact, make your decision knowing that you placed value on their perspective.

Simply notice your thoughts, emotions, and how your body feels and what happens to your breath when you feel reactive to something, such as a child hitting, spitting, biting, or throwing furniture. Then, as you become more aware of your reactiveness and physiology, you can discover what strategies work best for you to keep yourself calm, in the moment, and responsive rather than reactive. It could be taking some deep breaths, reciting a mantra about who you want to be in the moments of stress, or it could be literally shaking it off to release the energy. But the first step is simply to notice what emotions, thoughts, and physical feelings are coming up for you.

Trust your heart in that very moment. There may be a desire for joy that is suppressed because of schedules or fatigue. Go with the joy. There may be inspiration beginning to sprout, but it gets shut down for fear of what someone else might think, or that it'd be too hard to pull off. Allow yourself to be inspired, allow yourself to follow your heart, and allow the joy. You'll be rewarded with energy and enthusiasm, and your students will too.

Practice seeing each and every encounter, especially the most mundane and irritating ones, with deep gratitude.

***

Thanks so much to Kristie Pretti-Frontczak and her friends and colleagues for sharing their mindfulness tips and wisdom with us today. If you want to dig deeper into mindfulness and learn how to harness its benefits, you can request access to Kristie's recorded webinar and all of her helpful handouts and resources. You'll use these tools and strategies again and again to strengthen your relationships with colleagues and families and help the children in your care feel safe and secure.

ACCESS THE WEBINAR

REQUEST THE HANDOUTS

About the Guest Blogger

An accomplished author, sought-after consultant, and educator's educator, Dr. Kristie Pretti-Frontczak spent 16 years as a tenured professor at Kent State University before leaving to lead a {r}evolution in early care and education. Through comprehensive classes, thought-provoking keynotes, and practical resources, she's guiding educational professionals toward developing their emotional intelligence, reclaiming children's right to learn through play, and reimagining more inclusive classrooms. She's also the co-author of several titles from Brookes Publishing, including Assessing Young Children in Inclusive Settings . Learn more on her website and on her Brookes author page .

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GUEST POST! The Power of Mindfulness: Practical Tips to Help Children Feel Safe and Secure

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Inclusion Lab readers, today I'm so excited to welcome a special guest to the blog to talk about a timely and important issue: mindfulness, and how to harness its power to help the children you work with and care for feel safe and secure.

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Your friends on Sesame Street are here to support you during the COVID-19 crisis. Our site is filled with rich content you can use with children to spark playful learning, offer them comfort, and help your whole family thrive.