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8 Minutes 46 Seconds: A Story for Anyone Who Doesn't Yet Understand

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8 Minutes 46 Seconds: A Story for Anyone Who Doesn't Yet Understand

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*contains sensitive & alarming content

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8 Minutes 46 Seconds - A story for anyone who doesn't yet understand why.

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"How to Raise Kids to be Antiracist" with Ibram X. Kendi

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"How to Raise Kids to be Antiracist" with Ibram X. Kendi

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CBS

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How to raise kids to be anti-racist and talk to them about racism

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LOTS of links to resources to help you do this work with your family

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LOTS of links to resources to help you do this work with your family

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Racism and violence against black people has been a problem in America for hundreds of years. But with recent events and protests, there's a feeling the country could be headed toward " a turning point for real change," as President Barack Obama wrote in an essay for Medium.

If you are a parent looking for resources to help you raise and teach your kids to be anti-racist, you might not know where to start. We followed the direction of educators and activists of different races to give you some ideas.

"I hope that we can all realize that we have our part to play in this," TODAY's Al Roker said in a discussion with his co-anchors. Before we can teach our own children, we need to understand anti-racism ourselves - and then lead by example.

On her Facebook page, author Luvvie Ajayi ("I'm Judging You") recommended a list entitled " 75 Things White People Can Do for Racial Justice," curated by Corinne Shutack, with advice like: "45. Seek out a diverse group of friends for your kids" and "46. Seek out a diverse group of friends for you."

Author and teen expert Lisa Damour ("Untangled," "Under Pressure") shared the words of Shaker Heights, Ohio, high school principal Eric Juli, along with a Google document that has been shared all over social media with a list of anti-racism resources for adults and children.

Author, blogger, and leadership consultant Karen Walrond (Chookooloonks) compiled a list of "works by amazing people and organizations of all races, creeds, faiths and nationalities" for her readers to follow and explore "to help you live a more inclusive life, spark some self-reflection on how you can be an ally (and how you might be a part of the problem) and finally, inspire you to make light."

Walrond's list includes work by Revolutionary Love Project activist Valarie Kaur and author Mira Jacob ("Good Talk").

And Liz Gumbinner and Kristen Chase of Cool Mom Picks also curated a list of things white parents can do as well as how to talk to their kids on their own Facebook page.

"We need to raise the next generation of compassionate, empathetic, enlightened kids," the pair wrote. "It's on us, parents. We can do this."
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In fighting racism, a critical component is talking to children about race, discrimination, and how to be anti-racist. Though parents' first reflex might be to aim for their children to be "colorblind," blogger and photographer Jennifer Borget of Cherish365 recently explained to her followers why that is not the most helpful goal.

The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) has compiled a guide for educators about engaging youth in conversations about race that can also be useful for parents.

"From police-involved deaths of Black and Latinx men to everyday racism to Confederate flag controversy with sports figures and celebrities getting involved in the conversation, there is a lot to grapple with and discuss," the ADL writes in their introduction.

Another good resource is the Center for Racial Justice in Education's list of resources for talking to children about race, racism, and racialized violence. Common Sense Media also compiled a list of media resources to help spark discussions with children, including movies, books, TV shows, and video games.

Finally, sometimes the best ways to communicate to children, especially younger children, is through books. Here's a sample list of 31 books created by The Conscious Kid and American Indians in Children's Literature.

"These books showcase the many ways people of all ages and races have worked to disrupt racism and highlight how race intersects with other issues, such as capitalism, class, and colonization," writes the authors.

"The majority of books center on BIPOC [Black and Indigenous People of Color], whose lives and bodies have been on the front lines of racial justice work, yet whose stories often go untold. The essential work of white activists is also included - to underscore that anti-racist work is not the responsibility of BIPOC; and exemplify the ways white people have stood up against racial injustice."

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How do we teach our children anti-racism? These resources will help

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Racism and violence against black people has been a problem in America for hundreds of years. But with recent events and protests, there's a feeling the country could be headed toward " a turning point for real change," as President Barack Obama wrote in an essay for Medium.

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"How to Speak to Kids About Race Relations" with Jason Reynolds

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"How to Speak to Kids About Race Relations" with Jason Reynolds

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Today.com

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How to speak to kids about race relations in America

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Jason Reynolds and Brendan Kiely, co-authors of "All American Boys," join Hoda and Jenna to talk about how parents can talk to their kids about race relations in America and why it's important to continue these conversations.

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Comprehensive "Talking About Race" Resource

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Comprehensive "Talking About Race" Resource

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National Museum of African American History

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National Museum of African American History and Culture

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Talking about race, although hard, is necessary. We are here to provide tools and guidance to empower your journey and inspire conversation.

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"How to Talk to Your Children About Protests & Racism"

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"How to Talk to Your Children About Protests & Racism"

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CNN

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how to talk to your children about protests and racism - cnn

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How to talk to your children about protests and racism

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Protecting your children from the disturbing images of riots and police brutality is a battle in today's smartphone-addicted society. Here are expert tips on how to help your child navigate the trauma of today's protests while tackling the underlying cause: racism.

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"What White Children Need to Know About Race"

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"What White Children Need to Know About Race"

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NAIS - What White Children Need to Know About Race

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Growing up in the suburban Midwest, I (Ali Michael) never talked about race with my family. We were white, all of our neighbors were white, and it never occurred to us that there was anything to say about that. As a result, in later years, I developed a deep sense of shame whenever I talked about race — particularly in college, where I was expected to make mature personal and academic contributions to race dialogues.

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9 Steps to Shape Our Kids' Racial Attitudes by EmbraceRace

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9 Steps to Shape Our Kids' Racial Attitudes by EmbraceRace

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Administrators at Fox Chapel Middle School in Spring Hill, Florida recently fired a teacher who gave her sixth graders an assignment asking them to consider how "comfortable" they would be in the company of various people. Some of the 41 scenarios identified these "others" in terms of race, ethnicity, nationality, or religion.

For example:

Your new roommate is a Palestinian and Muslim. A group of young Black men are walking toward you on the street. The young man sitting next to you on the airplane is an Arab. Your new suitemates are Mexican. Your assigned lab partner is a fundamentalist Christian.

Many Fox Hill students and parents were upset. "They're kids. Let kids be kids. Why are they asking kids these questions?" one mother to a seventh-grade student wondered. "I just don't think it's something that needs to be brought in school."

Another parent said this: "I just think that sometimes kids are just too young to start that at this age, and in school."

Such sentiments are familiar - and deeply misguided. In the United States, a lot of us believe that children, especially White children, are racial innocents - completely naive, curiously fragile with respect to the realities of race, or both. The truth is that well before their teen years, the vast majority of children are well aware of prevailing biases, and most kids, of all racial stripes, have taken on a bunch of their own.

Researchers have been studying the development of racial and ethnic biases in children for a long time, and we know quite a bit. We know that within a few months of birth, babies prefer own-race faces, probably because most are surrounded by people who look like them. Sometime during the preschool years, however, this relatively innocent pull toward the familiar morphs into something else.

By age five, Black and Hispanic children show no preference toward their own group compared to Whites. On the other hand, White kids remain strongly biased in favor of whiteness. By the start of kindergarten, "children begin to show many of the same implicit racial attitudes that adults in our culture hold. Children have already learned to associate some groups with higher status, or more positive value, than others."

So, with reference to the doubtless well-meaning mom quoted earlier, the crucial question isn't "Why bring issues of racial, ethnic, religious and other kinds of bias into our schools?" It's "how do we constructively engage the harmful biases we know pervade our schools and just about everywhere else? And what can we do to shape our children's racial attitudes before and as they emerge?"

Twin girls with different skin tones. How different will their experiences be?

In that regard, research and experience offer some promising guidance to parents, guardians, teachers, and to all of us who care for or about children. These guidelines were developed by members of the EmbraceRace team, and we'd love to hear your feedback.

Develop racial cultural literacy by learning about and respecting others.Study and talk about the histories and experiences of groups we call African Americans, Latinos, Asian Americans, Native Americans, and Whites, among others. Be sure your child understands that every racial and ethnic group includes people who believe different things and behave in different ways. There is more diversity within racial groups than across them.

Be honest with your child, in age-appropriate ways, about bigotry and oppression.Children are amazing at noticing patterns, including racial patterns (who lives in their neighborhood versus their friends' neighborhoods, for example). Help them make sense of those patterns, and recognize that bigotry and oppression are sometimes a big part of those explanations. Be sure your child knows that the struggle for racial fairness is still happening and that your family can take part in that struggle.

"Lift up the freedom fighters": Tell stories of resistance and resilience. Every big story of racial oppression is also a story about people fighting back and "speaking truth to power." Teach your child those parts of the story too. Include women, children and young adults among the "freedom fighters" in the stories you tell.

Teach your children to be "upstanders" for racial justice.Help your child understand what it means to be, and how to be, a change agent. Whenever possible, connect the conversations you're having to the change you and your child want to see, and to ways to bring about that change.

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Your 5-year-old is already racially biased. Here's what you can do about it.

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Administrators at Fox Chapel Middle School in Spring Hill, Florida recently fired a teacher who gave her sixth graders an assignment asking them to consider how "comfortable" they would be in the company of various people. Some of the 41 scenarios identified these "others" in terms of race, ethnicity, nationality, or religion.

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Sarah Hershey is a mother, middle school humanities teacher, social justice educator, and lifelong learner. She is the founder of Courageous Change Consulting, whose mission is to build capacity among white people of diverse backgrounds to discuss, understand, identify, and tackle racism. Website: www.CourageousChange.org

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sarah hershey - tips for talking about race with small children

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‎Third Space with Jen Cort: Sarah Hershey - Tips for talking about race with small children on Apple Podcasts

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‎Sarah Hershey is a mother, middle school humanities teacher, social justice educator, and lifelong learner. She is the founder of Courageous Change Consulting, whose mission is to build capacity among white people of diverse backgrounds to discuss, understand, identify, and tackle racism. Website:...

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Podcast: "Talking to White Kids about Race & Racism"

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Podcast: "Talking to White Kids about Race & Racism"

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(Nam Y. Huh / Associated Press)

What was your first reaction when you saw the video of the white cop kneeling on George Floyd's neck while Floyd croaked, "I can't breathe"?

If you're white, you probably muttered a horrified, "Oh, my God" while shaking your head at the cruel injustice. If you're black, you probably leapt to your feet, cursed, maybe threw something (certainly wanted to throw something), while shouting, "Not @#$%! again!" Then you remember the two white vigilantes accused of murdering Ahmaud Arbery as he jogged through their neighborhood in February, and how if it wasn't for that video emerging a few weeks ago, they would have gotten away with it. And how those Minneapolis cops claimed Floyd was resisting arrest but a store's video showed he wasn't. And how the cop on Floyd's neck wasn't an enraged redneck stereotype, but a sworn officer who looked calm and entitled and devoid of pity: the banality of evil incarnate.

Maybe you also are thinking about the Karen in Central Park who called 911 claiming the black man who asked her to put a leash on her dog was threatening her. Or the black Yale University grad student napping in the common room of her dorm who was reported by a white student. Because you realize it's not just a supposed "black criminal" who is targeted, it's the whole spectrum of black faces from Yonkers to Yale.

You start to wonder if it should be all black people who wear body cams, not the cops.

What do you see when you see angry black protesters amassing outside police stations with raised fists? If you're white, you may be thinking, "They certainly aren't social distancing." Then you notice the black faces looting Target and you think, "Well, that just hurts their cause." Then you see the police station on fire and you wag a finger saying, "That's putting the cause backward."

You're not wrong - but you're not right, either. The black community is used to the institutional racism inherent in education, the justice system and jobs. And even though we do all the conventional things to raise public and political awareness - write articulate and insightful pieces in the Atlantic, explain the continued devastation on CNN, support candidates who promise change - the needle hardly budges.

But COVID-19 has been slamming the consequences of all that home as we die at a significantly higher rate than whites, are the first to lose our jobs, and watch helplessly as Republicans try to keep us from voting. Just as the slimy underbelly of institutional racism is being exposed, it feels like hunting season is open on blacks. If there was any doubt, President Trump's recent tweets confirm the national zeitgeist as he calls protesters "thugs" and looters fair game to be shot.

Yes, protests often are used as an excuse for some to take advantage, just as when fans celebrating a hometown sports team championship burn cars and destroy storefronts. I don't want to see stores looted or even buildings burn. But African Americans have been living in a burning building for many years, choking on the smoke as the flames burn closer and closer. Racism in America is like dust in the air. It seems invisible - even if you're choking on it - until you let the sun in. Then you see it's everywhere. As long as we keep shining that light, we have a chance of cleaning it wherever it lands. But we have to stay vigilant, because it's always still in the air.

So, maybe the black community's main concern right now isn't whether protesters are standing three or six feet apart or whether a few desperate souls steal some T-shirts or even set a police station on fire, but whether their sons, husbands, brothers and fathers will be murdered by cops or wannabe cops just for going on a walk, a jog, a drive. Or whether being black means sheltering at home for the rest of their lives because the racism virus infecting the country is more deadly than COVID-19.

What you should see when you see black protesters in the age of Trump and coronavirus is people pushed to the edge, not because they want bars and nail salons open, but because they want to live. To breathe.

Worst of all, is that we are expected to justify our outraged behavior every time the cauldron bubbles over. Almost 70 years ago, Langston Hughes asked in his poem "Harlem": "What happens to a dream deferred? /... Maybe it sags / like a heavy load. / Or does it explode?"

Fifty years ago, Marvin Gaye sang in "Inner City Blues": "Make me wanna holler / The way they do my life." And today, despite the impassioned speeches of well-meaning leaders, white and black, they want to silence our voice, steal our breath.

So what you see when you see black protesters depends on whether you're living in that burning building or watching it on TV with a bowl of corn chips in your lap waiting for "NCIS" to start.

What I want to see is not a rush to judgment, but a rush to justice.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, a recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the N.B.A.'s all-time leading scorer, is the author of 16 books, including, most recently, "Mycroft & Sherlock -The Empty Birdcage" www.kareemabduljabbar.com

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Op-Ed: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: Don't understand the protests? What you're seeing is people pushed to the edge

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The main concern of black people right now isn't whether they're standing three or six feet apart, but whether their sons, husbands, brothers and fathers will be murdered by cops.

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George Floyd, Minneapolis Protests, Ahmaud Arbery & Amy Cooper | The Daily Social Distancing Show

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"Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man - #1"

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"Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man - #1"

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Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man

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Podcast: "Author Jason Reynolds Talks about Race and Protests"

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Podcast: "Author Jason Reynolds Talks about Race and Protests"

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In Washington, D.C. and other American cities, people are protesting police violence against people of color. The protesters, and many others too, are upset that black people in particular continue to die in encounters with police.

Best-selling YA author Jason Reynolds has grappled with racism personally and in his writing. The National Ambassador for Young People's Literature also recently co-authored a book for young people on fighting racism: Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You.

We've asked Jason Reynolds to join Kojo For Kids to help us understand what has led to the tensions we've seen over the last week, and to talk about why racism persists and what we can do to build a less racist society.
This show is part of the "Kojo For Kids" series, a Kojo Nnamdi Show segment featuring guests of special interest to young listeners. Though Kojo has been on WAMU 88.5 for 20 years, this is the first time he has had the opportunity to reach out to an audience of kids, most of whom until recently had been in school during our live broadcast. We're excited to hear from our youngest listeners! Join us! Produced by Lauren Markoe

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Kojo For Kids: Jason Reynolds Talks About Racism And The Protests - The Kojo Nnamdi Show

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Let's talk about why people are angry and what can we do about racism.

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[Image description: Illustration from All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold & Suzanne Kaufman. Children of various races and faiths pointing to locations on a world map.] If you're nervous about talking about race with your kids, these books about racial diversity will give you an easy place to start destigmatizing difference & celebrating racial diversity. Bold and *marked books are written or illustrated by #OwnVoices makers of color. Books For Littles(BFL) is free and accessible for readers who can't afford a paywall. Posts may contain affiliate links, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Check out the full affiliate disclosure along with the BFL statement of accountability. If you get books at your local library (please do!), an even better way to support BFL is on Patreon.
Anti-Racism For Beginners: Part 1

Acknowledging & Celebrating Racial Diversity

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" How do I teach my kids to be anti-racist when I'm still learning myself?" - Anonymous, Books For Littles Facebook Group

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It's normal to get flustered when when our children talk about race. But if we let nervousness keep us silent and still, our fear becomes a weapon.

Growing up, I was told that discrimination would magically disappear if we stop acknowledging racial difference. All people are the same. Skin color doesn't matter. Only bad people are racist. If we are all nice and well-behaved, racism will go away.

This is the fallacy of colorblind ideology. It's a tool to keep us complicit in white supremacy. Don't be a tool.

We must talk about race with young kids. Racism thrives in silence.

When we refuse to talk about race at an early age, children absorb our silence as shame. We're taught that if we have nothing nice to say - say nothing at all. Well - white folks are aggressively silent when it comes to race! Does that mean that being Brown or Black is something to be ashamed of?

Kids pick up when we refuse to acknowledge racial difference - and how we treat people of color. Why are we surprised then, to see nice, well-behaved children reflect unconscious bias against people of color, then grow into adults who blame people of color for violence and harm against them?
(It's your job to be that adult.)
Your child needs at least one adult to speak truth to BS about racial assumptions.

My White mother who openly talked about race from birth - and how society would perceive and treat me because of my multiracial heritage. She raised me to understand that discrimination against me was not my fault. Violence would happen to me because of my race, my gender, my class but it wasn't caused by me - it was caused by white supremacy.

The Mominator refused to let me internalize the idea that I deserved racism. To do that, she first needed to acknowledge my race and the fact that I would have obstacles in life that white kids didn't.

We can help our children understand racism - and empower them to work toward racial equality.

Raise kids of color to feel proud of their culture and their right to self-advocate.

Raise white kids to recognize their duty to stand up against injustice.

But first, you've gotta acknowledge that racial differences - even though they are an imaginary, human-imagined construct, exist as a real thing in our society, with real-life impact on real-life people.

Start by telling our kids that yes - we do see skin color and racial identities.

For folks who were never given space to talk about racism and discrimination as kids (or even racial diversity), it's scary to start. We don't want to say the wrong thing and mess it up.

No worries, we are going to start very gently with non-controversial, easygoing books that just show kids that racial diversity exists. In future collections, we'll get into more emotionally loaded topics - like racial discrimination, racial privilege, colorism, and the subtle tools that uphold white supremacy, such as white fragility and respectability politics.

And this diversity is glorious.

Acknowledge & Celebrating Racial Diversity

From two anonymous BFL members:

"My daughter came home saying she didn't like her brown skin and wanted white skin and 'bright' hair instead. I'm looking for books that reinforce pride in who she is."

"My white daughter said to me the other day, 'I don't like dark skin. ' I ran to the internet to research books like these."

Yikes.

Use these comments as learning opportunities. Read these books to discuss biases they've absorbed during a quiet time home together (story time!) Encourage kids to speak bias aloud so they can hear how ridiculous it sounds, think about where it comes from, and realize how it develops.

When children point out that they like particular skin tones, body shapes, or hair textures more than others - don't shout at them or insist they are wrong. Kids this age can't untangle feelings from fact. Shaming them for a gut reaction is just going to get them to clam up.

Instead, help them untangle bias from fact on their own. Ask why they feel this way. Use in an open, non-judgemental tone. Keep asking questions to unpack these assumptions. We're not here to tell them what to think, we're here to model critical thinking about racial bias moving forward.

Discuss how all bodies are good bodies - how we differ, and what we have in common.

All Are Welcome, *Lovely, We're Different, We're The Same

Acknowledge & Celebrate Cultural Diversity

When we over-simplify racism, we tell kids that racism is simply bias against people based on skin color - it's not.
How do we counter the entrenched dominant narrative's focus on whiteness?
(That's colorism, another problem we can tackle later.)

Racism expands beyond skin color - it's assumptions and discrimination against individuals and groups of people, based on racial identity. This includes not just skin color, but also cultural norms and behavior, language, and other markers of racial and ethnic identity.
*On The Day You Begin, *Where Are You From?, *Alma And How She Got Her Name
White supremacy is assuming that racism would be over if people of color just assimilated and acted more like white people, that assimilation is even a goal for people of color, and that non-white culture is deviant or inferior to whiteness.

Read stories that show how people of color are not monolithic - we're complex individuals who can't be reduced to the caricatures of mainstream media. Our ethnic heritage is something valuable worth exploring, and our ancestors traditions, achievements, and challenges have an impact on who we are today.

But our race and ethnicity is not the only thing that defines us. Show kids how we all have a right to pride in our heritage - just not at the expense of punching down another culture.

Not pictured: *Islandborn is another lovely book, which I recommend with reservations. In 2018, several survivors came forth about Junot Díaz's problematic behavior toward women. One of these reports has been shown to have been overblown - but I'm not comfortable with the way we're dismissing all survivors of his actions because of this. The book itself is great - so I'll let you decide how to move forward with all that on your own.

Explain How Diversity Makes Us Stronger

Bonus: When you join our patreon, community, you'll get sneak peeks and exclusive content - such as this guide on How To (Gently) Tell A White Teacher Their Lesson Plan Is Racist and What To Do When You're Invited To A Racist Birthday Party.
Become a Patron!
Having a broad range of experiences to draw from, mindsets to brainstorm, and abilities to solve the problems facing humanity is a very good thing. Human diversity is good for all of humanity and evolution and stuff. I am pretty sure this is SCIENCE.

The idea that winnowing humanity into one make-believe-super-race, or segregating us all into silos based on our racial identity sounds ABSURD. Right? RIGHT?!

Obviously some families are not absorbing the fact that genetic diversity is good for society and the fate of humanity, so we have to make this clear. That whole 'melting pot' assimilation thing our teachers celebrated 20 years ago turned out to be a bad idea.

What we need is more of a chunky stew, with folks proudly retaining and celebrating our individual racial and cultural identities while cognizant of the challenges and discrimination many groups face. These books help kids see how diversity makes us stronger.

Stay Curious, Stand Brave & Talk About Race

Don't stop here. Now that your kids understand that human skin, hair, and all of that stuff comes in a broad change of colors, shapes, and textures - help them see how all people deserve basic human rights, respect, and kindness.

Click here for part 2 of raising Anti-Racist Kids - Children's Books That Teach Kids About Social Power & Paternalism

Join us to help me keep making these articles, and you can ignite a generation of kind & brilliant luminaries.

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Anti-Racism For Kids 101: Starting To Talk About Race - Books For Littles

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Image description: Illustration from All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold & Suzanne Kaufman. Children of various races and faiths pointing to locations on a world map.] If you're nervous about talking about race with your kids, these books about racial diversity will give you an easy place to start destigmatizing difference & celebrating racial diversity.

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"10 Things Your White Teen Needs to Hear & See From You, Especially Now"

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"10 Things Your White Teen Needs to Hear & See From You, Especially Now"

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The conversation about race needs to start early and keep happening.

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Credit... Loris Lora

As protests over the killing of George Floyd (and Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor) spill into a second week, many parents are wondering how to talk about the deaths and unrest with their children. But just as important in the long run, especially for nonblack parents, is how to keep the conversation about race and racism going when we're not in a moment of national outrage, and to make sure all children see black people as heroes in a wide range of their own stories, and not just as victims of oppression.

In this moment, try to address the killings and protests honestly and in an age appropriate way, said Y. Joy Harris-Smith, Ph.D., a lecturer at Princeton Theological Seminary and the co-author of the forthcoming " The ABCs of Diversity: Helping Kids (and Ourselves!) Embrace Our Differences."

You can start having conversations about race in preschool, said Jacqueline Dougé, M.D., a pediatrician and child health advocate based in Maryland - children can internalize racial bias between the ages of 2 and 4, according to an American Academy of Pediatrics article that Dr. Dougé co-wrote.

Dr. Collins gave the example of a white child asking why another child had brown skin. A parent can take this opportunity to explain what melanin is, and to talk about how wonderful it is that the world has so many different kinds of people.

Older children will be much more aware of what's going on right now. So find out how much your child knows about the protests, Dr. Harris-Smith said, because kids may know more than we think they do from overhearing the news, their parents talking, or simply noticing what is going on outside in their neighborhoods.

Once you assess what they know, you can have a conversation about the violence against black people without being too explicit with elementary-age children.

Dr. Dougé suggested starting with something like: "There are things happening in the news that are upsetting us. Unfortunately there were police officers that made bad choices for the wrong reasons because of the color of our skin." Dr. Collins said that with children in elementary school, you should focus on how unfairly black and brown people have been treated throughout American history to the present day, because fairness is something all children can understand.

If you live someplace where people are actively protesting and your children have observed some destruction, "First and foremost, reassure them you're there to keep them safe," Dr. Dougé said. But also explain why people are protesting, and show them positive images of protesting now and from history, she suggested.

Make sure to create space for your child to feel however they need to feel about what you're discussing - they may be angry, sad or scared. "When we're not validated in how we feel, it makes it difficult for us to be active participants in our lives," Dr. Harris-Smith said. Dr. Collins suggested that parents can let a child know, "The important adults in her life are working really hard to make sure these injustices don't continue to happen in our city, country and world." Respect your children's feelings if talking about it is too upsetting, but make sure to leave the door open for future conversations, she continued.

In addition to keeping an open dialogue about racism, a way to raise children who are anti-racist is by making sure your home library has books with black people at the center of their stories. Christine Taylor-Butler, the prolific children's author and writer of The Lost Tribes Series, said that she got into children's literature because she wanted to see more stories of black joy. "I want stories about kids in a pumpkin patch, and kids in an art museum," she said. "Not only do we want our kids to read, but we want white kids to see - we're not the people you're afraid of."

"I see students clamoring for books that speak to heart, not oppression based on civil rights," Taylor-Butler added. And she is also a fan of books that tell stories of black triumph and invention, like " Whoosh! Lonnie Johnson's Super-Soaking Stream of Inventions, " by Chris Barton and illustrated by Don Tate, which is about the black engineer behind the Super Soaker water gun.

With that in mind, I asked several authors and Times editors to offer suggestions of books to read to children. Some are explicitly about racism, but others are stories with nonwhite protagonists. They are broken down roughly by age range; see our list below.

Ultimately, words and books should not be the end of your child's education about race and racism. "The best advice I can give parents is to be models for the attitudes, behavior and values that they wish to see in their children," said Nia Heard-Garris, M.D., an attending physician at the Ann and Robert H. Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago.

"It is not enough to talk about racism, you must strive to be anti-racist and fight against racist policies and practices," Dr. Heard-Garris said. If you have the privilege, "make space, speak up or amplify issues of inequity and injustice." Children see everything.

Ezra Jack Keats's books about Peter ("The Snowy Day," "A Letter to Amy," "Hi, Cat!," "Whistle for Willie")

"I love all of Ezra Jack Keats's books about Peter, because they show a black boy in the city and the stories are just about his curiosity, his bravery and his being a kid. They are beautiful meditations on the interiority of black childhood without trauma while still feeling very black." - Kaitlyn Greenidge, NYT Parenting contributor and author of the novel " We Love You, Charlie Freeman "

" Saturday, " written and illustrated by Oge Mora

"This book is pure joy. A mom and her daughter, Ava, always look forward to Saturdays because it's the one day of the week they get to spend together without school or work. On this particular Saturday, though, they experience a series of disappointments. Nothing seems to be going as planned. Still, thanks to Ava they figure out a way to enjoy their time together. A quiet yet profound picture book."

- Matt de la Peña, a Newbery Medal-winning author of seven Young Adult novels and five picture books, including " Last Stop on Market Street "

" Hair Love," by Matthew A. Cherry. Illustrated by Vashti Harrison.

"Written by a former N.F.L. wide receiver and now an Oscar-winning short film, 'Hair Love' tells the story of a black father learning to do his daughter's hair for the first time and the special bond they share."

- Meena Harris, author of " Kamala and Maya's Big Idea "

" Each Kindness," by Jacqueline Woodson. Illustrated by E.B. Lewis.

"A new girl, Maya, shows up at school, and the whole class, including Chloe, our main character, shuns her because she's shabbily dressed and seems different. This goes on for a while, and then Maya is suddenly gone, and Chloe realizes she's missed her chance to be kind. This is a powerful picture book that bravely ends with regret."

- Matt de la Peña

" The Youngest Marcher, " by Cynthia Levinson. Illustrated by Vanessa Brantley Newton.

"It's one of the more shocking and little-known stories of the civil rights movement: In 1963, the City of Birmingham jailed hundreds of kids for joining the Children's March. Among them was 9-year-old Audrey Faye Hendricks, taken from her family to spend a week behind bars, eating 'oily grits' and sleeping on a bare mattress. Levinson and Newton keep her story bright and snappy, emphasizing the girl's eagerness to make a difference and her proud place in her community."

- Maria Russo, former children's book editor at The New York Times

" Resist: 35 Profiles of Ordinary People Who Rose Up Against Tyranny and Injustice," by Veronica Chambers. Illustrated by Paul Ryding.

"Chambers, who is the senior editor of special projects here at The Times, has pulled together 35 inspiring stories from the past 500 years of history, each with a lesson for our kids about how to fight injustice in their own lives."

- Jessica Grose

" Not My Idea: A Book About Whiteness," written and illustrated by Anastasia Higginbotham

"An honest explanation about how power and privilege factor into the lives of white children, at the expense of other groups, and how they can help seek justice."

- Meena Harris

" All American Boys," by Jason Reynolds and Brendan Kiely

"This is a brilliant look at the effects of police brutality from the perspective of two teen boys: one white and one black. We get inside both of their minds and watch them grapple with the weight of something that is way too familiar in our country. "

- Matt de la Peña

" Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You " by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi

"Reynolds and Kendi have created a book that slyly draws attention to the page itself. 'Uh-oh. The R-word,' they write. The word that 'for many of us still feels Rated R. Or can be matched only with the other R word - run. But don't. Let's all just take a deep breath. Inhale. Hold it. Exhale and breathe out' - and here, the text breaks apart to give us the dangerous word - 'race.'"

- Kaitlyn Greenidge: Read her full review here.
If you have other books you love on this theme, email us with a list of your favorites and we will run an article with your suggestions.

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These Books Can Help You Explain Racism and Protest to Your Kids (Published 2020)

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The conversation about race needs to start early and keep happening. As protests over the killing of George Floyd (and Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor) spill into a second week, many parents are wondering how to talk about the deaths and unrest with their children.

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If you love a kid, these books are for them.

Brittany Smith, 27, is an inclusive pre-kindergarten teacher from New Jersey.

On Monday, Brittany tweeted a thread of great children's books that discuss race and racism, and it quickly went viral, with nearly 200,000 retweets.

Brittany added, "Given today's climate and our fight for justice, I want parents, teachers, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and anyone who regularly comes in contact with children to be aware there are resources that can help start the conversations of race and racism. There's a misconception that they're too young and don't understand, but they do! They just don't always have the tools to express it."

Here are the books Brittany recommended:

Brittany added, "These are not the only books available to us! There are so many others out there!" Many people added other terrific books - like Hair Love by Matthew A. Cherry - in the replies.

this discusses our community and relationship with hair. Idk how I forgot to post this because I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Thank you to whoever added this in a comment, I can't find your handle, I'm sorry! 😭

Do you have a favorite book for kids or teenagers that discusses race or racism that isn't mentioned here? Let us know in the comments!

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This Teacher's List Of Children's Books That Discuss Race And Racism Has Gone Viral

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If you love a kid, these books are for them. Brittany Smith, 27, is an inclusive pre-kindergarten teacher from New Jersey. On Monday, Brittany tweeted a thread of great children's books that discuss race and racism, and it quickly went viral, with nearly 200,000 retweets.

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A Riot is the Language of the Unheard - The Other America (Speech) - Martin Luther King Jr. (2020)

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"How to Become Aware of Privilege" with Robin DiAngelo & Ibram X. Kendi

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"How to Become Aware of Privilege" with Robin DiAngelo & Ibram X. Kendi

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Authors Robin DiAngelo and Ibram X. Kendi on how to become aware of privilege

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"Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man - #2"

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"Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man - #2"

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Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man - Episode 2

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Priya Vulchi and Winona Guo: What it takes to be racially literate

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Over the last year, Priya Vulchi and Winona Guo traveled to all 50 US states, collecting personal stories about race and intersectionality. Now they're on a mission to equip every American with the tools to understand, navigate and improve a world structured by racial division.

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"How to Deconstruct Racism, One Headline at a Time"

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"How to Deconstruct Racism, One Headline at a Time"

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*explicit

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Baratunde Thurston: How to deconstruct racism, one headline at a time

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Baratunde Thurston explores the phenomenon of white Americans calling the police on Black Americans who have committed the crimes of ... eating, walking or generally "living while Black." In this profound, thought-provoking and often hilarious talk, he reveals the power of language to change stories of trauma into stories of healing -- while challenging us all to level up.

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Van Jones on the Common Ground Between Protestors and Police

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National Museum of African American History

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National Museum of African American History and Culture

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Race does not biologically exist, yet how we identify with race is so powerful, it influences our experiences and shapes our lives. In a society that privileges white people and whiteness, racist ideas are considered normal throughout our media, culture, social systems, and institutions. Historically, racist views justified the unfair treatment and oppression of people of color (including enslavement, segregation, internment, etc.). We can be led to believe that racism is only about individual mindsets and actions, yet racist policies also contribute to our polarization. While individual choices are damaging, racist ideas in policy have a wide-spread impact by threatening the equity of our systems and the fairness of our institutions. To create an equal society, we must commit to making unbiased choices and being antiracist in all aspects of our lives.

Being antiracist is fighting against racism. Racism takes several forms and works most often in tandem with at least one other form to reinforce racist ideas, behavior, and policy. Types of racism are:

Individual racism​ refers to the beliefs, attitudes, and actions of individuals that support or perpetuate racism in conscious and unconscious ways. The U.S. cultural narrative about racism typically focuses on individual racism and fails to recognize systemic racism.
Examples include believing in the superiority of white people, not hiring a person of color because "something doesn't feel right," or telling a racist joke.

Interpersonal racism​ occurs between individuals. These are public expressions of racism, often involving slurs, biases, or hateful words or actions.

Institutional racism​ occurs in an organization. These are discriminatory treatments, unfair policies, or biased practices based on race that result in inequitable outcomes for whites over people of color and extend considerably beyond prejudice. These institutional policies often never mention any racial group, but the intent is to create advantages.
Example: A school system where students of color are more frequently distributed into the most crowded classrooms and underfunded schools and out of the higher-resourced schools.

Structural racism​ is the overarching system of racial bias across institutions and society. These systems give privileges to white people resulting in disadvantages to people of color.
Example: Stereotypes of people of color as criminals in mainstream movies and media. ​

No one is born racist or antiracist; these result from the choices we make. Being antiracist results from a conscious decision to make frequent, consistent, equitable choices daily. These choices require ongoing self-awareness and self-reflection as we move through life. In the absence of making antiracist choices, we (un)consciously uphold aspects of white supremacy, white-dominant culture, and unequal institutions and society. Being racist or antiracist is not about who you are; it is about what you do.

To be antiracist is a radical choice in the face of history, requiring a radical reorientation of our consciousness. Ibram Kendi "How to be an Antiracist"

The quality or state of being aware especially of something within oneself.

Being Antiracist at the Individual and Interpersonal Level
When we choose to be antiracist, we become actively conscious about race and racism and take actions to end racial inequities in our daily lives. Being antiracist is believing that racism is everyone's problem, and we all have a role to play in stopping it. In " The Racial Healing Handbook," Dr. Anneliese A. Singh reminds us of the importance of being purposeful: "You need the intentional mindset of Yep, this racism thing is everyone's problem-including mine, and I'm going to do something about it."

Being antiracist is different for white people than it is for people of color. For white people, being antiracist evolves with their racial identity development. They must acknowledge and understand their privilege, work to change their internalized racism, and interrupt racism when they see it. For people of color, it means recognizing how race and racism have been internalized, and whether it has been applied to other people of color.

All racial groups struggle under white supremacy. People of color groups are not always united in solidarity. People of color can act by challenging internalized white supremacy and interrupting patterns of prejudice against other racial groups. For everyone, it is an ongoing practice and process.
As a White Person or a Person of Color, Read More About Becoming Antiracist

Stop and Think!

Why do you want to be antiracist? Considering the breadth and depth of racism, committing to being antiracist may feel overwhelming yet small choices made daily can add up to big changes. Reflect on choices you make in your daily life (i.e., who you build relationships with, what media you follow, where you shop). How do these choices reflect being antiracist?

A Questioning Frame of Mind
A commitment to being antiracist manifests in our choices. When we encounter interpersonal racism, whether obvious or covert, there are ways to respond and interrupt it. Asking questions is a powerful tool to seek clarity or offer a new perspective. Below are some suggestions to use in conversations when racist behavior occurs:

Seek clarity: "Tell me more about __________."

Offer an alternative perspective: "Have you ever considered __________."

Speak your truth: "I don't see it the way you do. I see it as __________."

Find common ground: "We don't agree on __________ but we can agree on __________."

Give yourself the time and space you need: "Could we revisit the conversation about __________ tomorrow."

Set boundaries. "Please do not say __________ again to me or around me.

A trigger is something that causes an emotional and or physical reaction which impacts how you respond and or interact with another person or group of people.

As you practice, take note of your responses and ask: How am I processing the experience? What body sensations do I have? What is my emotional reaction? Notice what triggers your response and how it manifests in your body.

Another practical step is to uncover your own bias. In the video below, Verna Myers talks about acknowledging your biases in her Ted Talk:

Being antiracist on the individual and interpersonal levels is only part of the work. To end racism, we must also work to dismantle racist policies at the structural and institutional levels.

Example of Being Antiracist at the Institutional Level
Institutional racism is the policies and practices within institutions that benefit white people to the disadvantage of people of color. An example of institutional racism is how children of color are treated within the U.S. education system. On average, children of color are disciplined more harshly than their white peers. They are also less likely to be identified as gifted and have less access to quality teachers. Racism in schools can and does have severe consequences for students and our future.

When I say antiracist education, I am talking about equipping students, parents, and teachers with the tools needed to combat racism and ethnic discrimination, and to find ways to build a society that includes all people on an equal footing.

Antiracist education is a theory of learning and action to help us do the important work of dismantling racism in schools. It explicitly highlights, critiques, and challenges institutional racism. It addresses how racist beliefs and ideologies structure one-on-one interactions and personal relationships. It also examines and challenges how institutions support and maintain disadvantages and advantages along racial lines.

Antiracist education, while considering class, race, and gender inequity, places race at the center of its analysis. Focusing on race exposes direct links to unequal power, a system of oppression and privilege, and institutional practices.

One of the early formulations of antiracist education was developed by social science researchers, Carol Tator and Frances Henry, in Canada. It lists nine key traits.

Developing routines to make antiracist choices is a daily commitment that must be carried out with intention. The continued efforts of each of us individually can add up to a lasting change in our society. Since racism operates at multiple levels, we have to make antiracist choices at the various levels - individual, interpersonal, and institutional - to eradicate racism from the structures and fabric of our society. In "How to Be an Antiracist," Dr. Ibram Kendi writes, "[We must] believe in the possibility that we can strive to be antiracist from this day forward. Believe in the possibility that we can transform our societies to be antiracist from this day forward. Racist power is not godly. Racist policies are not indestructible. Racial inequities are not inevitable. Racist ideas are not natural to the human mind."

Let's Think

How have racist ideas impacted your daily life? Reflect and process - you may choose to sit in quiet reflection or write in your journal.

EDUCATORS: Read "The Urgent Need for Anti-Racist Education," by Christina Torres. She writes that antiracist education has an important role to play in fighting against hatred and violence. What benefits do you think could result from having discussions with young people about current events involving race and racism?

Let's Talk

The Antiracist Research and Policy Center at American University contends that racist policies fuel racist beliefs and behaviors and keep us divided in society.

By yourself, divide two pieces of paper into 4 sections. Write the following categories, one in each section, on the page: Education, Healthcare Treatment, Neighborhoods/Housing, Criminal Justice. Do this for both pages.

On the first sheet, jot down 2-3 racial groups of people you think get the best service/experience/outcomes in America for each category. You can repeat groups.

On the second sheet, jot down 2-3 racial groups of people you think get the worst service/experience/outcomes in America for each category. You can repeat groups.

Now, with a partner discuss what old and newer, you believe might account for these groups' experiences.

With your partner, return to each racial group you've listed, one at a time. Search the internet, look up the racial group, one of the four categories, and the word "policy" (limit your search to U.S. policies and seek out fact-based sources). Browse through the results for things that strike you.

Discuss with your partner:

Was it easy or difficult to find useful information on policies in these categories having to do with race? Why do you think that was?

For those racial groups that you thought had the best service/experience/outcomes, were you able to identify specific policies that helped them? Why yes? Or why not?

How do you think policies can be hidden or difficult to see in operation?

What did you discover that was new to you?

Were you wrong about anything you thought? How did you find out?

Was there anything uncomfortable about this exercise? Why yes? Or why not?

How can our learning about policies, racial groups, and outcomes help support anti-racism efforts?

Let's Act

Watch these two videos on Implicit Bias:

How can you hang out authentically with folks of some common interest, across racial lines?

EDUCATORS: Consider your current classroom or academic space. What one small shift can you do to strive to be more antiracist?

Visit the "Antiracism and America" web series developed by American University's Antiracist Research and Policy Center and The Guardian news outlet.

Pick a story to read. As you reflect on the story, think about what you learned that was new, how the story made you feel, how race shaped the experience of the storyteller and your response. You may choose to process this mentally, with a friend or in writing.

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No one is born racist or antiracist; these result from the choices we make. Being antiracist results from a conscious decision to make frequent, consistent, equitable choices daily. These choices require ongoing self-awareness and self-reflection as we move through life.

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Podcast: Brene Brown with Ibram X. Kendi on "How to Be an Antiracist"

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Podcast: Brene Brown with Ibram X. Kendi on "How to Be an Antiracist"

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I'm talking with professor Ibram Kendi, New York Times bestselling author of How to Be an Antiracist and the Director of the Antiracist Research and Policy Center at American University. We talk about racial disparities, policy, and equality, but we really focus on How to Be an Antiracist, which is a groundbreaking approach to understanding uprooting racism and inequality in our society and in ourselves.

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Unlocking Us with Brené Brown - Brené with Ibram X. Kendi on How to Be an Antiracist

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I'm talking with professor Ibram Kendi, New York Times bestselling author of How to Be an Antiracist and the Director of the Antiracist Research and Policy Center at American University. We talk about racial disparities, policy, and equality, but we really focus on How to Be an Antiracist, which is a groundbreaking approach to understanding uprooting racism and inequality in our society and in ourselves.

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Parade: Entertainment, Recipes, Health, Life, Holidays

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More by Brea

Ava DuVernay (Koury Angelo/Getty Images for Hollywood Reporter)

So you want to be an ally but don't know where to start? First of all, thank you and welcome. This is an ever growing community of people who refuse to accept Black death and institutionalized racism as the norm. This community takes measurable steps, is intentional about their day-to-day interactions, and is committed to self- education. Where to begin? Look no further than the below starter pack of TV shows, documentaries, films, TED talks, and books that can ground your activism and ensure you're offering this movement more than lip service. Grab an accountability partner (or start a group!) as a way of debriefing what you learn and ensuring you stick with it.

There's no better day than today! Here's your anti-racist starter pack.

TV Series

1. Netflix's When They See Us: Ava DuVernay's When They See Us stopped the world when she told the stories of the (now) Exonerated Five. This is a cautionary tale for some on the dangers of making the narrative match a racist agenda and insight into the fear of Black families across the country, and world.

2. OWN's Queen Sugar: Queen Sugar shares the beauty and complexity in family, legacy, and justice through the warmth of a Black family. Over the course of the seasons, we become even more exposed to Black rural advocacy and the power in land ownership.

3. The Black LGBTQ+ community is no stranger to over-policing and brutal violence and FX's Pose (available on Netflix):Pose gives us a front row seat to the resilience and ingenuity of Ballroom culture and the fight for autonomy and safety.

4. Before the hashtags and media, what is it like for a Black family learning they've lost a loved one and for a police officer realizing he took a Netflix's Seven Seconds: life. How do these stories intertwine and what insight can we glean about repairing harm?

5. Dear White People (available on Netflix):Dear White People has drawn controversy from many who have been afraid to push past the title, but it's great insight to the inner workings of Black student activists and their campus experiences.

Related: 40 Ways White Women Can Help Fight Racism
Documentaries

Many cite Netflix's 13th by Ava DuVernay: The New Jim Crow (book by Michelle Alexander) as what woke them up to the extreme injustice in our criminal justice system and arguably 13th would be the documentary version of that, exposing how deep-rooted institutionalized racism is.
Related: Self-Care for Black Women Activists Right Now

1. The Children's March: Youth-led activism has been on the rise since the fearless survivors of Parkland sparked a 21st century gun violence movement. To understand the shoulders on which we stand, learn about the children of Alabama that brought a racist police chief and segregation to its knees.

2. The Kalief Browder Story (available on Netflix): For many of us, protesting is a right we take for granted. For those in the belly of our criminal justice system, advocating for yourself can be deadly. We must honor Kalief's sacrifice by knowing his story and ending cash bail.

3. The Black Liberation movement of the late 20th century is riddled with stereotypes and propaganda causing many to believe that the movement died following the assassinations of The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975: Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. This documentary sets the record straight from the source with powerful interviews and recollections.

4. It's important that we never lose sight of the legacy of police violence. To understand the righteous anger of the Black community, learn more about the LA riots following the LA92 (available on Netflix):Rodney King trial.

Related: Beyoncé, LeBron James, Viola Davis, Taylor Swift and More Celebs Demand Justice for George Floyd
Movies and Short Films

1. Fruitvale Station (directed by Ryan Coogler): When advocating around police brutality, we often lose touch with the humanity of those we fight for. In this masterful film, we see a glimpse of what is stolen from us each time police use excessive force.

2. Since 2016, many have become hyper-aware of the deep rifts that exist in American society and others have always known that we have very different experiences of this country. Higher Learning (directed by John Singleton):Higher Learning will surprise you in how relevant it is to today and showing some of the hurdles to achieving a "post-racial" society.

3. Eric Garner and Do The Right Thing (directed by Spike Lee): George Floyd have both drawn connections to a fiction character who preceded them both: Radio Raheem of Spike Lee's Do The Right Thing. The film masterfully highlights where unrest stems from and what leads to the rage felt in uprisings and rebellions.

4. If Beale Street Could Talk (directed by Barry Jenkins): Activism can be very glorified by those privileged to be advocating from the abstract. This film-part love story, part drama-gives us a look into what is truly at stake for those facing wrongful incarceration head on.

5. I Am Not Your Negro (directed by Raoul Peck): James Baldwin has provided novels, personal essays, and prose to last many lifetimes! The film adaptation explores the extended history of racism through Baldwin's recollections and personal observations.

Related: 18 New Artists, Songs and Albums to Add to Your Playlists in Honor of Black Music Month

TED Talks

1. Bryan Stevenson's We Need To Talk About An Injustice:Bryan Stevenson is one of the leading racial justice advocates, working with people incarcerated on death row. If anyone can diagnose recent injustices and understand the steps forward it would be him.

2. Kimberle Crenshaw on The Urgency of Intersectionality: Following 2016, 'intersectionality' became quite the buzzword, yet gets used out of context often by both the Right and Left alike. Hear from the black woman who coined the term in the '80s as to how we use intersectionality to defend Black women.

3. Baratunde Thurston on How To Deconstruct Racism, One Headline At A Time: Racism isn't funny, but in this TED talk you'll learn about the pervasive nature of racism and laugh out loud way more times than you'll be able to count.

4. Racism is traumatic. Oftentimes we are focused so much on legislative changes and urgent calls to action, that we neglect the emotional well being of Black people everywhere facing PTSD from this cyclical violence. Dive more into T. Morgan Dixon and Vanessa Garrison on The Trauma of Systemic Racism is Killing Black Women: self-care as radical preservation with this joint TED talk.

5. Verna Meyers on How To Overcome Our Biases? Walk Towards Them: #AllLivesMatter is the new color blind and both terms are proof that people fear being accused of biases more than they feel committed to addressing them. Let's lose the shame and take bold steps deeper into your allyship.

6. Heather McGhee's Racism Has A Cost for Everyone:My liberation is bound in yours. This is not a feel good statement but a reality when it comes to how racism impacts policy, budgets, and prevents us from achieving a society that works for us all

7. The Human Stories Beyond Mass Incarceration:We can never lose sight of the people behind the statistics and in this powerful TED talk, you'll be reminded of why we fight this fight.

8. Marlon Peterson's Am I Not Human?: Marlon Peterson is formerly incarcerated and one of the leading national experts on alternatives to incarceration. Learn about why we desperately need more empathy when it comes to addressing harm.

9. Emma Harrison's From Reform to Abolition: The Future of the U.S. Prison System: More than ever before, people are Googling abolition and exploring what a society without prisons looks like. Have questions about why we can't reform these systems or what this looks like in reality? Listen up!

10. Rayna Gordon's Don't Be A Savior, Be An Ally:Sometimes with the best intentions we still fall short. Hear from Rayna about thoughtful allyship that seeks to uplift and support not take over or "save."

Related: 25 Anti-Racist Instagram Accounts to Follow for Listening, Learning and Action-Taking
Books

1. Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson: You've likely heard the story of someone who served decades in prison for a crime they didn't commit. How does that happen and how do we ensure people don't disappear behind the bars and into bureaucratic systems that value process more than justice?

2. Men We Reaped by Jesmyn Ward: America often equates Black to mean urban America when more of us live in "middle America" and the deep South than anywhere else. Ward is a literary artist who spins the stories of Black men in Mississippi with so much love and a deep desire to protect those she loves.

3. Everyone from Free Cyntoia by Cyntoia Brown-Long: Rihanna to Kim Kardashian was tweeting about Cyntoia Brown-Long, the young woman incarcerated for defending herself against her abuser and a sexual predator. Cyntoia's story is one that many women share-and this book sheds light on how systems set up to protect us, fail us time and time again.

4. Born A Crime by Trevor Noah: Noah's book reads like an episode of his late night show which is to say it's informative, compelling, and well researched. This is a must read for those looking to understand race and class.

5. Unafraid of the Dark by Rosemary L Bray: Racism feels like this big scary monster which can make some of us feel like we don't know where to begin in dismantling it and others feel it's not relevant to them at all. Bray sets the record straight with these vignettes and anecdotes about what racism looks like in practice but also how police interventions can work to alleviate the pressures.

6. How We Get Free: Black Feminism and the Combahee River Collective by Keeanga Yamahtta-Taylor: "Listen to Black women!" Want to learn what Black women from movements past have to say about justice and freedom? Look no further than this foundational manifesto.

7. Children of Blood and Bones by Tomi Adeyemi: Science fiction is a powerful tool for exploring problems from the distance we normally aren't afforded with day-to-day life. This first part of the electric new trilogy explores issues of fear, revenge, and what it takes to build a new future.

8. When They Call You A Terrorist by Patrisse Khan Cullors: Cullors co-founded Black Lives Matter over five years ago alongside two other Black women organizers. Years later, she reflected on her own journey to that moment and what it means to be labeled a terrorist by the government that has sought to erase you and those you love.

9. Let's Get Free: A Hip-Hop Theory of Justice by Paul Butler: This Harvard Law grad turned prosecutor went from high-powered attorney to wrongfully accused Black man in one day. What that experience taught him is cemented through this book and will tell you all you need to know about this rigged system.

10. Pushout by Monique Morris: Black girls and women are often left out of the conversation when it comes to criminal justice reform but Morris reiterates exactly how Black girls are oversexualized, more likely to be described as aggressive, and more frequently suspended or expelled, leading to this school-to-prison pipeline we hear so much about.

Read 55 MLK Jr. quotes that still resonate today.

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The Anti-Racist Starter Pack: 40 TV Series, Documentaries, Movies, TED Talks, and Books to Add to Your List

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So you want to be an ally but don't know where to start? First of all, thank you and welcome. This is an ever growing community of people who refuse to accept Black death and institutionalized racism as the norm. This community takes measurable steps, is intentional about their day-to-day interactions, and is committed to [...]

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"Performative Allyship is Deadly (Here's What to Do Instead)"

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"Performative Allyship is Deadly (Here's What to Do Instead)"

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On May 25, George Floyd was murdered by a Minneapolis police officer who kneeled on his neck for more than eight minutes as Floyd gasped, "I can't breathe." On March 13, Breonna Taylor was shot dead by police who stormed her home as she slept. On February 25, Ahmaud Arbery was killed in the middle of the day by two white men, a retired policeman and his son. They got in their car, tailed him, and shot him twice.

I could go on.

These tragedies, just the most recent examples in a long history of violence against black people, have led to an explosion of attention on social media. In the days after Arbery's death, I scrolled through Instagram, reading post after post from white friends and influencers professing their outrage and disbelief. Urging us to #sayhisname. The posts were flooded with comments from more (mostly) white people, thanking them for their "bravery" and praising them for "speaking truth to power." Three months after the shooting, Gregory McMichael and Travis McMichael were arrested and charged with murder in what has been heralded as a victory for the powers of social media, a place where normal citizens can "use their voice" to demand justice.

Still, as a black woman, instead of feeling inspired by this act of solidarity, I found myself feeling angry and afraid. Looking through my feed, I wanted to say to my white friends, "You're here now, but where are you the other 364 days a year when anti-racism isn't trending? When racism isn't tucked safely behind the screen in your hand, but right there in front of your face?"

I am not overlooking the fact that public allyship can help spur positive change. Voices can be heard, and some small version of justice may even be served as a result. But we must also not be lulled into believing that this kind of allyship is enough to dismantle the conditions that made it possible for an innocent black man to be lynched in broad daylight. And we must not let the kind of performative allyship that begins and ends with hashtags take center stage in the quest for equality.

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Performative Allyship Is Deadly (Here's What to Do Instead)

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Ways to be a real ally in the wake of George Floyd's death.

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"This List is Antiracist": Comprehensive List of BOOKS

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"This List is Antiracist": Comprehensive List of BOOKS

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*Ordering through this list directly supports Brain Lair Books! I am a black- female- owned independent shop and every purchase that shows Brain Lair Books at the top - helps me to keep doing this! Thank you!

*Ordering through this list directly supports Brain Lair Books!

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Ordering through this list directly supports Brain Lair Books! I am a black- female- owned independent shop and every purchase that shows Brain Lair Books at the top - helps me to keep doing this! Thank you! *Ordering through this list directly supports Brain Lair Books!

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"PODCASTS to Help You Better Understand Racism, Policing & Criminal Justice Problems in America"

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"PODCASTS to Help You Better Understand Racism, Policing & Criminal Justice Problems in America"

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Mass demonstrations over the killing of George Floyd have once again put issues of police brutality and racial injustice at the forefront of American consciousness.

For those looking for deeper conversations and historical context for this current moment, several websites have published lists of books that delve into topics of race, identity and problems within the U.S. criminal justice system.

Fortunately, the past few years have also been a renaissance for black podcasters and journalists exploring these same issues. Here's just a short list of some of what we've been listening to to better understand this moment.

These are just a starting point, for more recommendations check out similar lists from WBUR, Bello Collective and Radio Public. Bello Collective also has a list of eight podcasts on talking about race with children.

1. NPR's Code Switch: NPR's flagship show on race, culture and identity makes it onto a lot of lists. The show has created a helpful list of eight of their best episodes to get started on, but the most recent episode called "A Decade Of Watching Black People Die" is a powerful examination of why the videos we've witnessed over the last 10 years have not led to policy changes.

2. United States of Anxiety: From WNYC, this podcast goes back to the Civil War to explain why we still haven't arrived at a racially just democracy despite centuries of struggle by black citizens. Recent episodes have also tackled why COVID-19 is killing more black people and how the virus is affecting prisoners.

Bonus: The Washington Post's Cape Up podcast produced an eight-part series called " Voices of the Movement" featuring stories from civil rights leaders. This episode speaks to how songs and songwriting propelled the movement. Hat tip to the Ping and Echo newsletter.

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6 podcasts to help you better understand racism, policing and criminal justice problems in America

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Mass demonstrations over the killing of George Floyd have once again put issues of police brutality and racial injustice at the forefront of American consciousness. For those looking for deeper conversations and historical context for this current moment, several websites have published lists of books that delve into topics of race, identity and problems within the U.S.

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"White People Assume Niceness is the Answer to Racial Inequality.  It's Not." By Robin DiAngelo

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"White People Assume Niceness is the Answer to Racial Inequality.  It's Not." By Robin DiAngelo

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am white. As an academic, consultant and writer on white racial identity and race relations, I speak daily with other white people about the meaning of race in our lives. These conversations are critical because, by virtually every measure, racial inequality persists, and institutions continue to be overwhelmingly controlled by white people. While most of us see ourselves as "not racist", we continue to reproduce racist outcomes and live segregated lives.

In the racial equity workshops I lead for American companies, I give participants one minute, uninterrupted, to answer the question: "How has your life been shaped by your race?" This is rarely a difficult question for people of color, but most white participants are unable to answer. I watch as they flail, some giving up altogether and waiting out the time, unable to sustain 60 seconds of this kind of reflection. This inability is not benign, and it certainly is not innocent. Suggesting that whiteness has no meaning creates an alienating - even hostile - climate for people of color working and living in predominantly white environments, and it does so in several ways.

If I cannot tell you what it means to be white, I cannot understand what it means not to be white. I will be unable to bear witness to, much less affirm, an alternate racial experience. I will lack the critical thinking and skills to navigate racial tensions in constructive ways. This creates a culture in which white people assume that niceness is the answer to racial inequality and people of color are required to maintain white comfort in order to survive.

An inability to grapple with racial dynamics with any nuance or complexity is ubiquitous in younger white people who have been raised according to an ideology of colorblindness. I have been working with large tech companies whose average employees are under 30 years old. White employees are typically dumbfounded when their colleagues of color testify powerfully in these sessions to the daily slights and indignities they endure and the isolation they feel in overwhelmingly white workplaces. This pain is especially acute for African Americans, who tend to be the least represented.

How often will a white person accused of racism gather as evidence to the contrary friends and colleagues to testify to their niceness

While the thin veneer of a post-racial society that descended during the Obama years has been ripped away by our current political reality, most white people continue to conceptualize racism as isolated and individual acts of intentional meanness. This definition is convenient and comforting, in that it exempts so many white people from the system of white supremacy we live in and are shaped by. It is at the root of the most common kind of white defensiveness. If racists are intentionally and openly mean, then it follows that nice people cannot be racist. How often will a white person accused of racism gather as evidence to the contrary friends and colleagues to testify to their niceness; the charge cannot be true, the friend cannot be racist, because "he's a really nice guy" or "she volunteers on the board of a non-profit serving under-privileged youth". Not meaning to be racist also allows for absolution. If they didn't mean it, it cannot and should not count.

Thus, it becomes essential for white people to quickly and eagerly telegraph their niceness to people of color. Niceness in these instances is conveyed through tone of voice (light), eye contact accompanied by smiling and the conjuring of affinities (shared enjoyment of a music genre, compliments on hair or style, statements about having traveled to the country the "other" is perceived to have come from or knowing people from the other's community). Kindness is compassionate and often implicates actions to support or intervene. For example, I am having car trouble and you stop and see if you can help. I appear upset after a work meeting and you check in and listen with the intent of supporting me. Niceness, by contrast, is fleeting, hollow and performative.

In addition to niceness, proximity is seen as evidence of a lack of racism. Consider the claims many white people give to establish that they aren't racist: "I work in a diverse environment." "I know and/or love people of color." "I was in the Peace Corps." "I live in a large urban city." These are significant because they reveal what we think it means to be racist. If I can tolerate (and especially if I enjoy and value) proximity, claims of proximity maintain, I must not be racist; a "real" racist cannot stand to be near people of color, let alone smile or otherwise convey friendliness.

In a 1986 article about black students and school success, Signithia Fordham and John Ogbu describe a "fictive kinship" between African Americans, a kinship that is not consanguineal (by blood) or affinal but derived from the assumption of shared experience. The racial kinship white people attempt to draw from niceness might be seen as a false or fabricated affinity. Most white people live segregated lives and in fact have no lasting cross-racial relationships. We are in the position to choose segregation and often do. The claims of non-racism that we make are therefore based on the most superficial of shared experiences: passing people of color on the street of large cities and going to lunch on occasion with a co-worker.

Note that our cursory friendliness does not come without strings. Consider the case of a white California woman who called the police this past May when a group of black Airbnb guests did not return her smile. The expectation is that the "nod of approval", the white smile, will be reciprocated. This woman, like all the other white people who have called the police on people of color for non-existent offenses, vigorously denied she was racist. After all, she did smile and wave before reporting them.

I have heard many black Americans talk about the awkwardness of white people "over-smiling". The act is meant to convey acceptance and approval while maintaining moral integrity, but actually conveys white racial anxiety. Over-smiling allows us to mask an anti-blackness that is foundational to our very existence as white. A fleeting benevolence, of course, has no relation to how black people are actually undermined in white spaces. Black friends have often told me that they prefer open hostility to niceness. They understand open hostility and can protect themselves as needed. But the deception of niceness adds a confusing layer that makes it difficult for people of color to decipher trustworthy allyship from disingenuous white liberalism. Gaslighting ensues.

The default of the current system is the reproduction of racial inequality. To continue reproducing racial inequality, the system only needs for white people to be really nice and carry on - to smile at people of color, to go to lunch with them on occasion. To be clear, being nice is generally a better policy than being mean. But niceness does not bring racism to the table and will not keep it on the table when so many of us who are white want it off. Niceness does not break with white solidarity and white silence. In fact, naming racism is often seen as not nice, triggering white fragility.

We can begin by acknowledging ourselves as racial beings with a particular and limited perspective on race. We can attempt to understand the racial realities of people of color through authentic interaction rather than through the media or through unequal relationships. We can insist that racism be discussed in our workplaces and a professed commitment to racial equity be demonstratedby actual outcomes. We can get involved in organizations working for racial justice. These efforts require that we continually challenge our own socialization and investments in racism and put what we profess to value into the actual practice of our lives. This takes courage, and niceness without strategic and intentional anti-racist action is not courageous.

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White people assume niceness is the answer to racial inequality. It's not | Robin diAngelo

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While most of us see ourselves as 'not racist', we continue to reproduce racist outcomes and live segregated lives

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"A Love Letter to All the Overwhelmed People Who Are Trying"

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"A Love Letter to All the Overwhelmed People Who Are Trying"

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Melissa DePino - Privilege to Progress

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from That White Lady Who Shared the Starbucks Video

You may not know my name, but you probably heard about what I did.

In 2018, when my video of two Black men unjustly arrested in a Philadelphia Starbucks went viral, I was thrust into an international conversation about race, and as a middle-aged white lady, I was overwhelmed, confused and ashamed, to say the least. That's probably how you're feeling right about now, minus the onslaught of media in your life.

That day in Starbucks, I didn't just see Donte and Rashon as Black, but I saw myself as white. And truthfully, not just saw, but felt. I felt my whiteness. And that was a revelation to me as it may be to you at this moment. But in the days, weeks, months and years since Starbucks, I have come to firmly believe one crucial concept. For however many years you have been on this earth, like me you likely have not considered your race as an essential part of your identity.

Of course I knew I was white, just like you do. I just didn't consciously identify myself that way. Maybe it's because it felt like it was unnecessary to acknowledge, or because it felt like the default, or because it felt embarrassing for reasons I could not yet articulate. But before that day, "white" was in the silent backdrop of how I defined myself, and then, the day I went viral, something shifted. I suddenly saw my own race as important, as having meaning, meaning that I had yet to fully understand.

Pulitzer Prize winning author Toni Morrison said, "No one ever talks about the moment you found out that you were white. Or the moment you found out you were black. That's a profound revelation. The minute you find that out, something happens. You have to renegotiate everything." And that's what I did then, and what I continue to do now.

As you are likely doing, I ravenously consumed information about race and racism. I watched, read and listened to everything I could get my hands on and the more I consumed, the more confused I became. After spending a week appearing on national television being asked my opinion (My opinion? How could I have an opinion?) about what needs to happen in this country to eradicate racism, I was more paralyzed than I had ever been about something so foundational to who I am as an individual and as a member of society - my own race and its meaning.

Eventually I found my way to academia - and the concept of white identity development. There is a whole field of study on the psychological stages we go through when we grapple with our racial identity. Much like the stages of grief, the stages we go through are not linear, perfectly normal and expected.

In 1990, psychologist Dr. Janet Helms developed a now often-referenced and studied theory on white racial identity development. The basics of the theory include six identity "statuses" that define a white person's likely pattern in responding to situations that involve race. The stages start with contact (when you're basically oblivious) then, with exposure to new information or more contact with people of color, move to the disintegration stage (guilt, shame, and sometimes denial). At this point, a person could move to the reintegration stage (fear, anger and resentment of people of color) or, with some positive motivation, to pseudoindependence (an intellectual understanding of systemic racism and the recognition that they have some personal responsibility to dismantle it). The final stages are immersion/emersion (actively trying to figure out what significance their race has in society) and autonomy (a deep understanding and commitment to being actively antiracist in your everyday life). This theory has been further developed by Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum and other scholars, so if you're like me and need to have every single bit of information, I encourage you to do some deeper reading.

Going through these stages takes time. But it also takes a sincere desire to push through when you feel defensive or ashamed or guilty. It takes humility. And it takes a deep desire to know all parts of yourself, even if they are parts you may not like. Sociologist Robin DiAngelo, in her book White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Race, " says, "If I can't hold what it means to be white, I can't hold what it means not to be white." What does it mean to be white, and why should you care to find out? A decade in therapy has taught me that the parts of yourself that you can't or won't see or acknowledge always find their way out in damaging, hurtful or dangerous ways, both for yourself and for the people around you. Examining that part of myself has led me to intentionally work to cleanse the clouded lens I was born and raised with so that I can actually do better, see better, and be better as a human being, and yes, more free, more comfortable in my (white) skin, and more fully and authentically myself in all of my relationships.

So my advice to you, having been where you are, is to sit back and listen. Don't talk unless in white spaces to interrupt racism and to tell others you are on the path to antiracism (please join us at @privtoprog on all social media platforms, the organization I cofounded with Michelle Saahene, the first person to speak up in the Starbucks that day). You will make mistakes, you will need to sit with that, and no matter how uncomfortable you feel, you will need to push through. It's too easy to get stuck in your feelings and give up. Don't. I hope hearing about my experience allows you to take your guilt and shame and turn it into an opportunity to use your privilege for progress. You can find me at From Privilege to Progress for more advice and information. I hope to see you there.

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A Love Letter to All the Overwhelmed White People Who Are Trying

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You may not know my name, but you probably heard about what I did. In 2018, when my video of two Black men unjustly arrested in a Philadelphia Starbucks went viral, I was thrust into an international conversation about race, and as a middle-aged white lady, I was overwhelmed, confused and ashamed, to say the least.

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"Why the Phrase 'All Lives Matter' is Harmful, Not Helpful"

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"Why the Phrase 'All Lives Matter' is Harmful, Not Helpful"

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Any time that a person says the phrase "Black Lives Matter," you can bet that there will inevitably be at least one person who chimes in with "all lives matter, too!" Over the past few days, Well+Good has seen many comments to that extent in response to our own Instagram posts referencing Black Lives Matter. It's often accompanied by claims that a person "doesn't see color" and calls for unity and equal treatment for all.

But this attempt at being color-blind (which is problematic in and of itself) is more than just short-sighted. The truth is, this language is not only inaccurate and misleading, it's harmful to the Black community.

People have been speaking out against the use of "all lives matter" for years, and yet it's clear people are still leaning on this phrase (whether willfully or inadvertently misunderstanding its meaning). Here, race relations experts explain in explicit terms exactly what you need to know, and why the words you choose are so important.

What the Black Lives Matter movement means

"Black Lives Matter was a hashtag started in 2013 in the wake of the acquittal of George Zimmerman, following the murder of Trayvon Martin," says Janell Hobson, PhD, a professor at the University of Albany and the author of Body as Evidence: Mediating Race, Globalizing Gender. (Zimmerman fatally shot 17-year-old Martin in his Florida neighborhood, claiming self-defense for his actions.) Dr. Hobson explains that after Zimmerman's acquittal, there were protests across the country, similar to what is happening now in the days after George Floyd's death at the hands of a police officer.

Coined by three Black community organizers, Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi, the phrase Black Lives Matter was a way to draw attention to Zimmerman being acquitted despite killing Martin, and it grew to become a protest and activist movement to "eradicate white supremacy and build local power to intervene in violence inflicted on Black communities by the state and vigilantes. "

Dr. Hobson says the seven-year-old slogan is a response to centuries of systematic racism against Black people. "What happened with Martin-a young Black boy who was killed because he was 'suspicious looking'-is embedded in the kind of racism that permits other people who are not Black to look at Black people like they are lesser-than," she says. "'Black Lives Matter' is used to draw attention to the fact that Black lives are not given the same level of concern as white lives."

The Black Lives Matter movement has continued to grow in the years since its founding, and the phrase has been used as a rallying cry after every high-profile incidence of police killings of Black Americans, from the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, in 2014 to the recent killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis on Memorial Day.

Katheryn Russell-Brown, PhD, author of The Color of Crime, director at the Center for the Study of Race and Race Relations and assistant director at the Criminal Justice Center at the University of Florida Levin College of Law, reiterates that the goal of the Black Lives Matter movement is to bring attention to the fact that Black lives are treated with less value than white lives in this country. "It puts attention on the issue of violence against Black bodies, placing that front and center and not as a marginal issue," she says. "It's important to look at what's happening at the intersections between African Americans and the criminal legal system."

The roots of "all lives matter" and the harm it brings

However, a new phrase came into circulation as a direct response to Black Lives Matter: "All lives matter." It's been part of the cultural conversation since at least 2014, and is frequently used on social media and elsewhere as a misguided criticism of the concept of Black Lives Matter.

People who say "all lives matter" often argue that by calling out Black lives specifically, you're giving one group preferential treatment over other groups and overlooking their struggles and humanity. However, this interpretation of Black Lives Matter is disingenuous. "When we think about terminology, we must think about the words themselves and what the impact of those words are," Dr. Russell-Brown says. "We can't disagree with the goal of all lives mattering. [But] when we look at the context of race relations in this country, not all lives have mattered and not all lives matter the same. So when ['all lives matter'] is put out there as a response to 'Black lives matter,' that erases the reality of Black life, white life, Asian life, Native American life, and Latinx life; everything is not the same."

"If all lives mattered, we wouldn't have to say Black lives matter," Dr. Hobson adds. "Black Lives Matter is a recognition that Black people do not have the same rights."

Consider some of the following statistics: Black Americans are two-and-a-half times more likely to die at the hands of police than white Americans. Black Americans are four times more likely than white Americans to report racial discrimination when trying to vote, thanks in large part to a new wave of voter suppression laws in various states that target minority voters. Black Americans have higher mortality rates and shorter lifespans than white Americans, are more likely to live in poverty, and face discrimination at work and in public spaces. And we cannot ignore the fact that Black people were slaves in America from 1619 until the end of the Civil War in 1865, and effectively barred from voting until the Voting Rights Act was passed in 1965.

By saying "all lives matter," a person is dismissing the real, persistent issues that Black people face. As BLM founder Patrisse Cullors told C-Span in 2018, "[All lives matter] is a copout phrase. When people use 'all lives matter,' I'm hearing them say that they would rather try to fight against the conversation about racism, that they would rather be complicit...and I hear that people are afraid of being honest and transparent about what this country has done for decades and centuries." All lives matter doesn't mean anything; it just gives people (particularly white people) a pass to stop uncomfortable conversations about race before they can really go anywhere.

Black Lives Matter doesn't mean that other lives don't

Dr. Russell-Brown emphasizes that the Black Lives Matter movement isn't about minimizing the struggles of people who aren't Black. "We can and should be having multiple conversations," she says. "In some ways, the conversations may be connected, but they're different conversations."

Black Lives Matter is trying to get solutions and justice for some of the most critical issues that affect a population that has too long been dismissed and oppressed in this country. That's not to say that the other issues faced by other communities are less important; it's more about ensuring that the issues Black people face are truly heard and paid the attention they long deserve. "As a matter of fact, Black Lives Matter is a recognition that other lives also matter. It's just that Black lives matter less," Dr. Hobson says. "That's why Black Lives Matter has to be articulated as a way to say that we matter, too."

Activist and author Rachel Elizabeth Cargle offered an analogy to explain the fallacy of "all lives matter" in a recent essay for Harper's Bazaar: "If a patient being rushed to the ER after an accident were to point to their mangled leg and say, 'This is what matters right now,' and the doctor saw the scrapes and bruises of other areas and countered, 'but all of you matters,' wouldn't there be a question as to why he doesn't show urgency in aiding that what is most at risk? At a community fundraiser for a decaying local library, you would never see a mob of people from the next city over show up angry and offended yelling, 'All libraries matter!'-especially when theirs is already well-funded."

The sad truth is, we live in a country where many injustices occur, not just in regards to race, but also because of income, gender, and sexual orientation. There are a lot of conversations that need to happen in terms of lives mattering. But Black Lives Matter is the conversation we're having now-and it deserves our undivided attention.

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Why the phrase 'all lives matter' is harmful, not helpful

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Any time that a person says the phrase "Black Lives Matter," you can bet that there will inevitably be at least one person who chimes in with "all lives matter, too!" Over the past few days, Well+Good has seen many comments to that extent in response to our own Instagram posts referencing Black Lives Matter.

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"MOVIES to Help You Better Understand Racism & Black History in America"

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"MOVIES to Help You Better Understand Racism & Black History in America"

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America is hurting right now. The racist killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery all happened within months of one another and justice has not yet been brought to their families or the Black community.

The Black community will continue to protest, donate, and vote for change. But America will remain the same if others (read: non-Black and privileged Americans), don't step up to the plate. If you're not aware of the history of America's racism, the Black community's experience with the police, or racial injustice in general, you should take look at one of these films.

From Ava Duvernay's 13th,which breaks down the racist and systemic loopholes in place to keep Black Americans disenfranchised, to George Tillman Jr.'s The Hate You Give -the educational opportunities are endless. These films all unpack racism in entertaining, enlightening, and heartbreaking ways that will not only inspire, but urge you to spark change.

If you ever wanted to know more about racial injustice, here's a small, but great start-a jumping off point to use as you learn how to support your friends, coworkers, family, and more. And remember: The history and lessons learned in these movies will help you to become a better ally, not just today, but every day. It's inevitable that the Black community will need your vocal (and knowledgeable!) support again in the future. Click through for your next movie night selection. Promise, it will be the most rewarding one yet:

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These 10 Movies Will Help Educate You About Racism And Black History In America

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America is hurting right now. The racist killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery all happened within months of one another and justice has not yet been brought to their families or the Black community. The Black community will continue to protest, donate, and vote for change.

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White privilege article - contains POWERFUL must-watch video clip by Brene Brown (*EXPLICIT language)

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White privilege article - contains POWERFUL must-watch video clip by Brene Brown (*EXPLICIT language)

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And the beautifully and powerfully written:"Well. My city is burning."

~
This Facebook Live was recorded after Charlottesville, but is relevant more than ever:

White privilege is a phrase that has been added to my vernacular seemingly overnight.

But I am the first to admit that I have been on the fringe of what has been going on in our country. Not to mention the overt and ongoing racism that so many of my fellow Americans-my fellow human beings-face on a daily basis.

I live in a small town that is sorely lacking in diversity. We chose to live here simply because it reminded me of the small towns in New England where I grew up.

It has a main street with lights strung over it, a single post office, library, and town hall-and two of our police officers even ride horses. The park in the middle of town has a gazebo, a basketball court, a baseball field, and a town pool-complete with water park-type slides.

Outside our brand new library is an amphitheater where outdoor concerts are held in the summer, a splash park for small children, and an ice trail where we can ice skate and have hot chocolate in the winter.

The small-town charm is the main reason we chose to live here. Because I have an aversion to suburbs that seem to go on and on and on, with no defined borders and especially no main street.

If you're picturing a Norman Rockwell painting or Mayberry, that's pretty much it.

My town also happens to be in one of the most affluent counties in the entire country. And outside of my son's charter school, there is little to no diversity to be found.

On a daily basis, there is not a lot of reason for me to think about my white privilege. Until recent events in our country have brought it front and center for me. And I could no longer look away.

People might recoil at the term white privilege because they think it makes it sound like everything they have was handed to them on a silver platter, and that they didn't have to work hard for it. And to be honest, I might have thought the same thing-if I gave it any thought at all.

But I am waking up. And I want to do better.

I am on a mission to educate myself about what the hell is going on in America right now.

So when a video showed up in my newsfeed yesterday with Brené Brown talking about the subject of Charlottesville and white privilege, I was hooked.

I am going to admit it right up front...I am biased. I love Brené Brown. When she speaks, I listen. Not only is she a brilliant and well-renowned researcher at the University of Houston Graduate School of Social Work, she talks about her research in an accessible-and funny!-way that makes it easy to understand.

After watching this video, I was even more impressed than I usually am, because she explains racism-and more specifically, white privilege-in a way I have not heard it described before.
"Privilege, when it comes to race, is about unearned rights. I can walk into any store and find a doll that matches my daughter's skin. I can drive in any area near my home and not get pulled over. I can go to the movies and hold hands with my partner [when I'm straight] and not fear getting hit in the head with a baseball bat. I can wear a symbol of my religion like a cross necklace and not fear being called a murderer or terrorist."
And I think that a lot of us-myself included-might benefit from watching this:

This video helped me better understand all of the subtle ways in which I am privileged and never realized it before.

Not only just feeling safe in my community, and having dolls and bandages match the color of my skin, but much bigger things-like not having to worry about an 11-minute cavity search if I get pulled over for running a red light.

My improved understanding of white privilege is also what makes me stop and think about why some people are less outspoken about what is happening in our country right now.

Is it because of our white privilege?

Some of us are lucky enough to be able to turn off the news, not watch the video, or not read the article, and have it be over for us. At least for now.

But what does that mean? Are we just taking care of our emotional health? Or are we burying our heads in the sand?

Regardless of the reason, our brothers and sisters living this discrimination and abuse every day don't have that luxury. This might be why it's hard for some of my more outspoken friends to understand why some people are more quiet about this issue than others.

But the most we can all do is share information like this and know that people will take it in if they are ready.

I, for one, choose to believe that every single one of us is doing the best we can in each moment.
Anti-Racism: Jane Elliott educates Waylon & 8,000 Elephant Readers (& you!)
And that's all we can really expect from each other.

Author: Christy Williams
Image: Flickr/Backbone Campaign
Editor: Travis May

Christy Williams is an expert in her own midlife crisis, and not-at-all an expert in spiritual awakenings, both of which are currently ongoing for her. She is proud to call he... Read full bio

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Brené Brown defines "White Privilege" for us-& it's the Best Explanation I've Heard.

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And the beautifully and powerfully written:"Well. My city is burning." ~ This Facebook Live was recorded after Charlottesville, but is relevant more than ever: But I am the first to admit that I have been on the fringe of what has been going on in our country.

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Young black man shares his mother's unwritten rules l GMA Digital

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Jason Reynolds & Ibram X. Kendi on Stamped - The History of Racism

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Jason Reynolds & Ibram X. Kendi on Stamped - The History of Racism

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Jason Reynolds & Ibram X. Kendi - “Stamped” and the Story of Racism in the U.S. | The Daily Show

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Read by author Jelani Memory

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A Kids Book About Racism by Jelani Memory

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Read by author Kwame Alexander

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READ ALOUD: Something Happened in our Town: A Child's Story About Racial Injustice

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READ ALOUD: Something Happened in our Town: A Child's Story About Racial Injustice

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READ ALOUD: Not My Idea - A Book About Whiteness

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READ ALOUD: Not My Idea - A Book About Whiteness

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Read Aloud: Not My Idea: A Book About Whiteness”

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Eddie Glaude's passionate message: "THIS IS US"

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Eddie Glaude's passionate message: "THIS IS US"

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Eddie Glaude, the chair of the Department of African American Studies at Princeton University, speaks to American culture, racism in 2019 and how President Trump is the "manifestation of the ugliness that's inside us."

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"My White Friend Asked Me to Explain White Privilege.  I Decided to Be Honest"

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"My White Friend Asked Me to Explain White Privilege.  I Decided to Be Honest"

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Yesterday I was tagged in a post by an old high school friend asking me and a few others a very public, direct question about white privilege and racism. I feel compelled not only to publish his query, but also my response to it, as it may be a helpful discourse for more than just a few folks on Facebook.

Here's his post:

To all of my Black or mixed race FB friends, I must profess a blissful ignorance of this "White Privilege" of which I'm apparently guilty of possessing. By not being able to fully put myself in the shoes of someone from a background/race/religion/gender/nationality/body type that differs from my own makes me part of the problem, according to what I'm now hearing. Despite my treating everyone with respect and humor my entire life (as far as I know), I'm somehow complicit in the misfortune of others. I'm not saying I'm colorblind, but whatever racism/sexism/other -ism my life experience has instilled in me stays within me, and is not manifested in the way I treat others (which is not the case with far too many, I know).

So that I may be enlightened, can you please share with me some examples of institutional racism that have made an indelible mark upon you? If I am to understand this, I need people I know personally to show me how I'm missing what's going on. Personal examples only. I'm not trying to be insensitive, I only want to understand (but not from the media). I apologize if this comes off as crass or offends anyone.

Here's my response:

Hi, Jason. First off, I hope you don't mind that I've quoted your post and made it part of mine. I think the heart of what you've asked of your friends of color is extremely important and I think my response needs much more space than as a reply on your feed. I truly thank you for wanting to understand what you are having a hard time understanding. Coincidentally, over the last few days I have been thinking about sharing some of the incidents of prejudice/racism I've experienced in my lifetime-in fact I just spoke with my sister Lesa about how to best do this yesterday-because I realized many of my friends-especially the white ones-have no idea what I've experienced/dealt with unless they were present (and aware) when it happened. There are two reasons for this: 1) because not only as a human being do I suppress the painful and uncomfortable in an effort to make it go away, I was also taught within my community (I was raised in the '70s and '80s-it's shifted somewhat now) and by society at large NOT to make a fuss, speak out, or rock the boat. To just "deal with it," lest more trouble follow (which, sadly, it often does); 2) fear of being questioned or dismissed with "Are you sure that's what you heard?" or "Are you sure that's what they meant?" and being angered and upset all over again by well-meaning-but-hurtful and essentially unsupportive responses.

White privilege in this situation is being able to move into a "nice" neighborhood and be accepted not harassed.

So, again, I'm glad you asked, because I really want to answer. But as I do, please know a few things first: 1) This is not even close to the whole list. I'm cherry-picking because none of us have all day; 2) I've been really lucky. Most of what I share below is mild compared to what others in my family and community have endured; 3) I'm going to go in chronological order so you might begin to glimpse the tonnage and why what many white folks might feel is a "where did all of this come from?" moment in society has been festering individually and collectively for the LIFETIME of pretty much every black or brown person living in America today, regardless of wealth or opportunity; 4) Some of what I share covers sexism, too-intersectionality is another term I'm sure you've heard and want to put quotes around, but it's a real thing too, just like white privilege. But you've requested a focus on personal experiences with racism, so here it goes:

1. When I was 3, my family moved into an upper-middle-class, all-white neighborhood. We had a big backyard, so my parents built a pool. Not the only pool on the block, but the only one neighborhood boys started throwing rocks into. White boys. One day my mom ID'd one as the boy from across the street, went to his house, told his mother, and, fortunately, his mother believed mine. My mom not only got an apology, but also had that boy jump in our pool and retrieve every single rock. No more rocks after that. Then mom even invited him to come over to swim sometime if he asked permission. Everyone became friends. This one has a happy ending because my mom was and is badass about matters like these, but I hope you can see that the white privilege in this situation is being able to move into a "nice" neighborhood and be accepted not harassed, made to feel unwelcome, or prone to acts of vandalism and hostility.

2. When my older sister was 5, a white boy named Mark called her a "nigger" after she beat him in a race at school. She didn't know what it meant, but in her gut she knew it was bad. This was the first time I'd seen my father the kind of angry that has nowhere to go. I somehow understood it was because not only had some boy verbally assaulted his daughter and had gotten away with it, it had way too early introduced her (and me) to that term and the reality of what it meant-that some white people would be cruel and careless with black people's feelings just because of our skin color. Or our achievement. If it's unclear in any way, the point here is if you've never had a defining moment in your childhood or your life where you realize your skin color alone makes other people hate you, you have white privilege.

I remember some white male classmates were pissed that a black classmate had gotten into UCLA while they didn't.

3. Sophomore year of high school. I had Mr. Melrose for Algebra 2. Some time within the first few weeks of class, he points out that I'm "the only spook" in the class. This was meant to be funny. It wasn't. So, I doubt it will surprise you I was relieved when he took medical leave after suffering a heart attack and was replaced by a sub for the rest of the semester. The point here is, if you've never been 'the only one' of your race in a class, at a party, on a job, etc. and/or it's been pointed out in a "playful" fashion by the authority figure in said situation, you have white privilege.

4. When we started getting our college acceptances senior year, I remember some white male classmates were pissed that a black classmate had gotten into UCLA while they didn't. They said that affirmative action had given him "their spot" and it wasn't fair. An actual friend of theirs. Who'd worked his ass off. The point here is, if you've never been on the receiving end of the assumption that when you've achieved something it's only because it was taken away from a white person who "deserved it," you have white privilege.

5. When I got accepted to Harvard (as a fellow AP student, you were witness to what an academic beast I was in high school, yes?), three separate times I encountered white strangers as I prepped for my maiden trip to Cambridge that rankle to this day. The first was the white doctor giving me a physical at Kaiser:

Me: "I need to send an immunization report to my college so I can matriculate."

Doctor: "Where are you going?"

Me: "Harvard."

Doctor: "You mean the one in Massachusetts?"

The second was in a store, looking for supplies I needed from Harvard's suggested "what to bring with you" list.

Store employee: "Where are you going?"

Me: "Harvard."

Store employee: "You mean the one in Massachusetts?"

The third was at UPS, shipping off boxes of said "what to bring" to Harvard. I was in line behind a white boy mailing boxes to Princeton and in front of a white woman sending her child's boxes to wherever.

Woman to the boy: "What college are you going to?" Boy: "Princeton."

Woman: "Congratulations!"

Woman to me: "Where are you sending your boxes?" Me: "Harvard."

Woman: "You mean the one in Massachusetts?"

I think: "No, bitch, the one downtown next to the liquor store." But I say, gesturing to my LABELED boxes: "Yes, the one in Massachusetts."

Then she says congratulations, but it's too fucking late. The point here is, if no one has ever questioned your intellectual capabilities or attendance at an elite institution based solely on your skin color, you have white privilege.

6. In my freshman college tutorial, our small group of 4-5 was assigned to read Thoreau, Emerson, Malcolm X, Joseph Conrad, Dreiser, etc. When it was the week to discuss The Autobiography of Malcolm X, one white boy boldly claimed he couldn't even get through it because he couldn't relate and didn't think he should be forced to read it. I don't remember the words I said, but I still remember the feeling-I think it's what doctors refer to as chandelier pain-as soon as a sensitive area on a patient is touched, they shoot through the roof-that's what I felt. I know I said something like my whole life I've had to read "things that don't have anything to do with me or that I relate to" but I find a way anyway because that's what learning is about-trying to understand other people's perspectives. The point here is-the canon of literature studied in the United States, as well as the majority of television and movies, have focused primarily on the works or achievements of white men. So, if you have never experienced or considered how damaging it is/was/could be to grow up without myriad role models and images in school that reflect you in your required reading material or in the mainstream media, you have white privilege.

7. All seniors at Harvard are invited to a fancy, seated group lunch with our respective dorm masters. (Yes, they were called "masters" up until this February, when they changed it to "faculty deans," but that's just a tasty little side dish to the main course of this remembrance). While we were being served by the Dunster House cafeteria staff-the black ladies from Haiti and Boston who ran the line daily (I still remember Jackie's kindness and warmth to this day)-Master Sally mused out loud how proud they must be to be serving the nation's best and brightest. I don't know if they heard her, but I did, and it made me uncomfortable and sick. The point here is, if you've never been blindsided when you are just trying to enjoy a meal by a well-paid faculty member's patronizing and racist assumptions about how grateful black people must feel to be in their presence, you have white privilege.

He was getting stopped by cops constantly because he was a black man in a luxury car.

8. While I was writing on a television show in my 30s, my new white male boss-who had only known me for a few days-had unbeknownst to me told another writer on staff he thought I was conceited, didn't know as much I thought I did, and didn't have the talent I thought I had. And what exactly had happened in those few days? I disagreed with a pitch where he suggested our lead female character carelessly leave a potholder on the stove, burning down her apartment. This character being a professional caterer. When what he said about me was revealed months later (by then he'd come to respect and rely on me), he apologized for prejudging me because I was a black woman. I told him he was ignorant and clearly had a lot to learn. It was a good talk because he was remorseful and open. But the point here is, if you've never been on the receiving end of a boss's prejudiced, uninformed "how dare she question my ideas" badmouthing based on solely on his ego and your race, you have white privilege.

9. On my very first date with my now husband, I climbed into his car and saw baby wipes on the passenger-side floor. He said he didn't have kids, they were just there to clean up messes in the car. I twisted to secure my seatbelt and saw a stuffed animal in the rear window. I gave him a look. He said, "I promise, I don't have kids. That's only there so I don't get stopped by the police." He then told me that when he drove home from work late at night, he was getting stopped by cops constantly because he was a black man in a luxury car and they assumed that either it was stolen or he was a drug dealer. When he told a cop friend about this, Warren was told to put a stuffed animal in the rear window because it would change "his profile" to that of a family man and he was much less likely to be stopped. The point here is, if you've never had to mask the fruits of your success with a floppy-eared, stuffed bunny rabbit so you won't get harassed by the cops on the way home from your gainful employment (or never had a first date start this way), you have white privilege.

10. Six years ago, I started a Facebook page that has grown into a website called Good Black News because I was shocked to find there were no sites dedicated solely to publishing the positive things black people do. (And let me explain here how biased the coverage of mainstream media is in case you don't already have a clue-as I curate, I can't tell you how often I have to swap out a story's photo to make it as positive as the content. Photos published of black folks in mainstream media are very often sullen- or angry-looking. Even when it's a positive story! I also have to alter headlines constantly to 1) include a person's name and not have it just be "Black Man Wins Settlement" or "Carnegie Hall Gets 1st Black Board Member," or 2) rephrase it from a subtle subjugator like "ABC taps Viola Davis as Series Lead" to "Viola Davis Lands Lead on ABC Show" as is done for, say, Jennifer Aniston or Steven Spielberg. I also receive a fair amount of highly offensive racist trolling. I don't even respond. I block and delete ASAP. The point here is, if you've never had to rewrite stories and headlines or swap photos while being trolled by racists when all you're trying to do on a daily basis is promote positivity and share stories of hope and achievement and justice, you have white privilege.

Trust me, nobody is mad at you for being white. Nobody.

OK, Jason, there's more, but I'm exhausted. And my kids need dinner. Remembering and reliving many of these moments has been a strain and a drain (and, again, this ain't even the half or the worst of it). But I hope my experiences shed some light for you on how institutional and personal racism have affected the entire life of a friend of yours to whom you've only been respectful and kind. I hope what I've shared makes you realize it's not just strangers, but people you know and care for who have suffered and are suffering because we are excluded from the privilege you have not to be judged, questioned, or assaulted in any way because of your race.

As to you "being part of the problem," trust me, nobody is mad at you for being white. Nobody. Just like nobody should be mad at me for being black. Or female. Or whatever. But what IS being asked of you is to acknowledge that white privilege DOES exist and not only to treat people of races that differ from yours "with respect and humor," but also to stand up for fair treatment and justice, not to let "jokes" or "off-color" comments by friends, co-workers, or family slide by without challenge, and to continually make an effort to put yourself in someone else's shoes, so we may all cherish and respect our unique and special contributions to society as much as we do our common ground.

With much love and respect,

Lori

This article was originally published by Good Black News. It has been edited for YES! Magazine.

Read more of on White privilege and racial justice:
10 Examples That Prove White Privilege Exists in Every Aspect Imaginable The Language of Antiracism Leveraging White Privilege for Racial Justice
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My White Friend Asked Me on Facebook to Explain White Privilege. I Decided to Be Honest - Yes! Magazine

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Yesterday I was tagged in a post by an old high school friend asking me and a few others a very public, direct question about white privilege and racism. I feel compelled not only to publish his query, but also my response to it, as it may be a helpful discourse for more than just a few folks on Facebook.

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Comprehensive list of anti-racism resources for adults & children

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Comprehensive list of anti-racism resources for adults & children

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Thank you to the Obama Foundation for their online referral. Their recognition of our work has enabled us to engage with more participants throughout the United States and Canada.

Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in Schools (Monique W. Morris)

Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents (Oprah's Book Club) (Isabel Wilkerson)
The Bluest Eye (Toni Morrison)
Whistling Vivaldi: How Stereotypes Affect Us and What We Can Do (Issues of Our Time) (Claude M. Steele)
Long Road to Hard Truth: The 100 Year Mission to Create the National Museum of African American History and Culture (Richard Rothstein)

Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice (Paul Kivel)

White Kids Growing Up with Privilege in a Racially Divided America (Margaret A. Hagerman)

Additional Book Resources:

Princeton University Library Recommendations

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Thank you to the Obama Foundation for their online referral. Their recognition of our work has enabled us to engage with more participants throughout the United States and Canada. Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in Schools (Monique W.

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"Antiracism Resources for Parents & Children"

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"Antiracism Resources for Parents & Children"

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At Healthline Parenthood, we're committed to sharing resources that are helping us better educate ourselves around anti-racism, so we can be better for our children. Together, let's start the conversation at home and be conscious of the powerful messages - from our words and our actions -we are teaching our children.

This journey comes with challenges, and perfectionism is not the goal. But there's plenty of guidance to help you while you do your best to be the change this world needs.

This list of books, podcasts, movies, and more is meant to help you and your children, no matter their age, keep this dialogue going, so we can amplify the voices of black parents and children. We will continue to add to this list to make it an even more comprehensive resource.

For parents

For kids

Best for babies and toddlers

Best for younger children

Best for young adults

Influencers making a difference

Organizations implementing change

The Conscious Kid: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter

Black Mamas Matter Alliance: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter

Black Visions Collective: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter

Antiracism Center: Instagram, Twitter

Equal Justice Initiative: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter

For parents

For kids

Best for little kids

Best for older kids

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Anti-Racism Resources for Parents and Kids

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At Healthline Parenthood, we're committed to finding resources that are helping us better educate ourselves around anti-racism, so we can be better for our children. Together, let's start the conversation at home and be conscious of the powerful messages - from our words and our actions - we are teaching our children.

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Opinion | ‘A Conversation About Growing Up Black’ (Published 2015)

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In this short documentary, young black men explain the particular challenges they face growing up in America.

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"A Conversation with White People on Race"

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"A Conversation with White People on Race"

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Op-Docs

By Blair Foster and

Video

Back

transcript

A Conversation With White People on Race

This short documentary features interviews with white people on the challenges of talking about race.

[chord] [beep] It's very uncomfortable to talk about race. It's not something - it's not something I do. I am - I am feeling apprehensive, because I think there's a lot of reasons why I feel like I should be able to talk about race. I don't want to say anything, you know, that would offend anyone. It's a very touchy subject. It's still difficult, even if you feel like you're on the right side of it, you know, to have a dialogue about it. Especially for white people, because we don't want to see if the racism that we may be holding onto. I don't know. Maybe I am racist. I certainly don't like to think that I am. And I think that's, too, because the perception - in this society, perception of a racist is a guy in a robe. Now I understand that it's a system of advantages and disadvantages based on race. So as much as there's the disadvantage piece of it, there's the advantage piece of it, which is what I experience as a white person. I want to bring up race, and I want to bring it up in a frame that helps my children think that there's no difference. But the mere fact that I might be bringing it up could suggest that there is a difference. I remember asking a friend of my father's, who was black, why he was called black, because his skin was brown. And I've learned that lots of people that are white ask this question, and maybe they also received the answer that I got from my parents, which was like, oh, my gosh, we're so sorry that she asked that. And it's just a term. Like, move on. One of my third grade students seemed pretty rocked after the Eric Garner case, or death, and came up to me and said, you know, why - when you were little, like, were you worried about this stuff too? And I knew what he was talking about before - I mean, I didn't say, what do you mean, what stuff? I didn't want to, you know, play dumb. And I said, no. I didn't have to be. And that's not fair. And that was really hard, because he just kind of sat there. And it honestly seemed like the first time that he had considered the fact that not everyone had to think about race all the time. I know that I'm white, and I guess I'm part of that collection. But I don't think about being white. I don't. I really did not know that I had a racial identity. I knew I was white. I had no idea what that meant, how that had shaped my outlook on life, how that had shaped my sense of optimism, sense of belonging, sense of safety, sense of feeling entitled to go help children that I thought were part of a community that couldn't figure out how to help themselves. I think that impulse, that kind of colorblindness impulse, comes mostly from white people. Like, I've never heard - I mean, I don't know. I'm sure it comes from all people of all kinds. But I've heard it most from white people who are saying like, let's do this as a way of getting past this racism thing. And I think, in part, it comes from a sense of shame and guilt about what racism has done, and kind of how racism was built by white people. I don't want to be ashamed of being - and plus, I'm a male. It's like, every group out there can be pissed off at me because I'm white and a male. And that's a weird kind of burden that some people do feel. And I certainly feel it sometimes from people, that I'm privileged, I get stuff that other people don't get. I think we're all implicated in a racist system. And I play my part in it as a white person. So I do have individual responsibility and accountability. I mean, I'm part of the system, and I do things that both perpetuate, and I try to certainly do things that challenge it. I realize I've never said anything. When I've heard racist jokes, when I've heard racist comments, I've never said anything. I've never spoken up and said, hey, that's racist. Not once. In my mind, there's no - I'm not involved in any conflict that involves race. I've only been the beneficiary of it, so. To talk about it is - I don't think I would sound very wise. Being white means that I have the privilege to think that I'm not affected by racism. Or that I don't even have a race, because I have all these other things like a gender and a sexual orientation, and those are pretty neat, so I don't have a race. But I do, and I'm white. [music]

This short documentary features interviews with white people on the challenges of talking about race.

Why do so many white people find it extremely uncomfortable to talk about race? Setting out to make the next installment of our Op-Doc video series about race in America, we hoped to address that question. Because we live in New York, where there is no shortage of opinions, we didn't think it would be too hard to find white people willing to speak publicly on this topic. We were wrong.

The people we ultimately found to start the conversation on this fraught topic were uniformly well-meaning and in favor of equality. Certainly they didn't consider themselves racists. Racism is something that is perpetrated by other people - the ones complaining about affirmative action, refusing to take down their Confederate flags and sharing racist jokes. But if so few people identify as racist, why are racial tensions so pervasive right now? Subtle racism is harder to confront.

It has become easier for white people to think about race through the superficial lens of thinking about other people, instead of themselves. Indeed, most of the people in this Op-Doc hadn't given much thought to being white other than that it was obvious by the color of their skin. But when we dug a bit deeper, the discussion gets tense, and visibly uncomfortable.

With this Op-Doc video, we've attempted to lean into that discomfort and prompt some self-reflection. We are all part of this system, and therefore we all have a responsibility to work toward dismantling it. If we're going to have an honest conversation about race in America, that includes thinking - and talking - about what it means to be white in America. It might be uncomfortable, but it's a conversation that must involve all of us.

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Opinion | 'A Conversation With White People on Race'

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Op-Docs By Blair Foster and Why do so many white people find it extremely uncomfortable to talk about race? Setting out to make the next installment of our Op-Doc video series about race in America, we hoped to address that question.

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Clint Smith: How to raise a Black son in America

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As kids, we all get advice from parents and teachers that seems strange, even confusing. This was crystallized one night for a young Clint Smith, who was playing with water guns in a dark parking lot with his white friends. In a heartfelt piece, the poet paints the scene of his father's furious and fearful response.

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Allison Holker checks her privilege with her family l GMA Digital

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The Science of Racism | Creators for Change

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"What I'm Learning from My White Grandchildren - Truths About Race"

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"What I'm Learning from My White Grandchildren - Truths About Race"

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What I am learning from my white grandchildren -- truths about race | Anthony Peterson | TEDxAntioch

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*longer video*

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Dr. Robin DiAngelo discusses 'White Fragility'

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"How to be an Antiracist" with Ibram X. Kendi

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"How to be an Antiracist" with Ibram X. Kendi

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*longer video

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"31 Children's Books Starring Black Characters Your Children Will Love"

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"31 Children's Books Starring Black Characters Your Children Will Love"

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Of course it's always important for our children to read about seminal moments in history, from the civil rights movement to the election of the first Black president, but it's also important to just show them beautiful children's books featuring Black characters. Yes, we all need to talk about racism, and yes, white parents need to read books with our kidsabout how to be anti-racist. But it's just as important that, as a regular daily experience, all children read about Black characters who love to jump in puddles, who love a snowy day, who argue with their siblings, and who have big hopes and dreams - just like all kids.

"While diversity in children's literature is widely and rightly discussed, I think this particular moment calls for a more nuanced conversation on inclusion," author, creator, and storyteller Oge Mora tells Romper. "When I think of inclusion I think about making room,"says Mora, whose children's books include The Oldest Student: How Mary Walker Learned to Read andShaking Things Up: 14 Young Women Who Changed the World. " Room for more Black authors, more Black illustrators, more Black editors, art directors, and publishers, room for Black people to speak freely, without judgement, room for a seat at the table."

A kid's bookshelf should be full of adventure and wonder. It should encourage them to see the world bigger and brighter. It should tell stories that they can see themselves in - and stories that reflect the world around them. A child's bookshelf can model the equality you want your child to see and to fosterin the world. When parents expose their non-Black kids to Black characters without making too big of a deal about it, they help them unlearn their own racial biases. And when Black children find themselves represented in books and other pop culture references as positive characters, it can directly affect how they see themselves. "Exposure to anti-Black bias is a risk for internalized racism and low self-esteem. However, pro-Black images can protect against that risk," Black Enterprise reported.

Each of the books below is linked to purchase from a Black-owned bookstore or diversity advocate publisher, so your purchase can directly support these business owners.

1. 'Tar Beach' by Faith Ringgold

"When I first read Tar Beach as a child, I knew there was room for me on the page, that stories like mine had value, that voices like mine mattered, that my voice, that I, mattered," Mora shares."The world insisted I was marginalized, but in Tar Beach I was centered on the page. I had the right to not only live but to thrive. When I think of the Black creators of today, I see a group of people creating places for Black children, just like the one Faith Ringgold carved out for me. Black creators make room for Black children to laugh, breathe, reflect, weep, question, rage, and most importantly, hope."
Mora also recommends the following five books:

8. 'Saturday' by Oge Mora

When her day of fun, memorable outings doesn't go as planned, the mom in Saturday by Oge Mora feels the crushing weight of disappointment that many moms can relate to. Luckily, the story's main character Ava doesn't see things the same way and instead relishes in the simple act of spending the day with her mom.

13. 'Ada Twist, Scientist' by Andrea Beaty

For budding scientists, reading about the inquisitive nature of other kids can help spark ideas that encourage them to learn more about the world around them. Ada Twist, Scientist seamlessly prompts kids to seek answers to their scientific questions as they read about Ada and her adventures.

Ada Twist, Scientist is featured on a curated list from Semicolon Bookstore and Gallery that highlights the experiences and perspectives of Black children.

14. 'The King of Kindergarten' by Derrick Barnes

15. 'Rocket Says Look Up!' by Nathan Byron

17. 'MC Veggie Fresh Rocks the Mic' by Shanon Morris

In MC Veggie Fresh Rocks the Mic (another Lit. Bar selection), when Clementine is faced with writing a speech for the Healthy Hero Election, she discovers that her rapping skills can help set her apart from the crowd and defeat her nemesis Edgar and his Junk Food Friends.

18. 'Billy Bloo Is Stuck in Goo' by Jennifer Hamburg

Our last pick from Lit. Bar, this rhyming story is a delightful read that will have your kids laughing out loud. Billy Bloo Is Stuck in Goo is the perfect silly book to read together about a kid just being a kid, and getting into all sorts of sticky, messy fun.

21. 'Princess Cupcake Jones & the Missing Tutu' by Yileya Fields

In Princess Cupcake Jones and the Missing Tutu, when her tutu goes missing, Princess Cupcake Jones must learn how to tidy up her castle before she can find her beloved skirt.

You can read more about what inspired Fields to create the character of Princess Cupcake Jones for young Black girls to see themselves reflected in literature in this interview with Black Enterprise.

24. 'Sulwe' by Lupita Nyong'o

In her debut picture book, actress Lupita Nyongo'o tells the tale of Sulwe, a beautiful girl whose skin is darker than everyone in her family. Although she longs to be different, a journey into the night sky helps her discover how magnificent she truly is.

29. 'Firebird' by Misty Copeland

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31 Children's Books Starring Black Characters Your Kids Will Love

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Of course it's always important for our children to read about seminal moments in history, from the civil rights movement to the election of the first Black president, but it's also important to just show them beautiful children's books featuring...

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Parents Need to Do More Than Just TALK About Racism

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Parents Need to Do More Than Just TALK About Racism

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Why White Parents Need to Do More Than Talk to Their Kids About Racism

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Insights into how people can improve, after two years of studying the behavior white families

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"Talking to Kids About Racism & Justice" - Books, Articles, Videos, Websites

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"Talking to Kids About Racism & Justice" - Books, Articles, Videos, Websites

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Talking to Kids about Racism and Justice - Oakland Library

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Powerful Testimony of George Floyd's Brother

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Powerful Testimony of George Floyd's Brother

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Brother of George Floyd speaks before House committee

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"White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack" By Peggy McIntosh

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"White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack" By Peggy McIntosh

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"Anti-Racist Parenting While White: An Inquiry"

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"Anti-Racist Parenting While White: An Inquiry"

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Several weeks ago I was struck by a question that felt urgent and necessary. The question arose after reading a thread of tweets in response to an article in the New York Times. Essentially, a white parent elaborated on her duty and commitment to raise her white children to identify racist behaviors and to interrupt the logic behind them wherever possible. In reading the thread, I felt grateful for this individual's clarity of purpose and it made me wonder more generally about how white parents in the United States, take up the task of educating their children in a distinctly anti-racist household. I asked myself: What does white anti-racist parenting look, sound and feel like?

I'm not white, so I asked some of my white friends whose anti-racist stances and actions I deeply respect and consistently learn from. I raised four questions and received wonderfully thoughtful, honest and generous responses from five people. Three women and two men, located in New Jersey, Wisconsin, Oregon, North Carolina and Tennessee.

"We often think we need to "wait" for the right time, but there is no such thing." (image CC0)

Here are the four questions and some of their responses:
How do you talk to your child or children about racism? What led you to open or continue the conversation?

As it comes up. And it comes up a lot: When we talk about US history. When they ask questions. When we are reading stories or watching media that show bias or stereotypes. As they try to sort out incidents at school. It is a framework we use to interpret the world, because it is everywhere around us.

I have tried to talk about racism steadily with my 12 year old son throughout his life. I have shared my work to understand my own role in racism and white supremacy, white privilege, white fragility, othering, tokenism and exceptionalism. I have been led to keep this topic at the forefront of our lives through my work in education, my connection to issues of social justice, and my desire to raise my son differently than I was raised.

I point it out when I can, or feel like I should. When talking about policing especially policing of protests, eg Black Lives Matter, and the difference in how those protesters were treated to the local Women's March, that my daughter and I went to, which had no problems at all with the police), entertainment (esp movies or tv shows, I'm not around them listening to their own music much, so I don't know - in that case I tend to call out stereotypes)... Another conversation I had with my daughter around policing was when she started driving, and I was talking her through what to do if stopped by a cop - I pointed out that we, as white women, are the "least threatening" category of stop, and the racist reasons that black and brown people in the US are much more at risk for police violence than we are.

We always talked to our kid about race, gender, power, LGBTQ issues, pretty much since the she could talk. We believed that it was part of the world, and we saw our job as parents to help her understand the world she lives in.

Among the responses, what stood out for me were two things: the fundamental awareness of the pervasiveness of racism and a willingness to be deliberate in talking with children about how it shows up in their lives and the lives of their friends.
What have you learned from your child or children about their understanding of race and racism? Under what circumstances have they shared their experiences which involved racial aspects?

My children are ages 8, 6, and 4. They see skin color and understand that people look differently. Our conversations have been limited to me asking if he plays with the students of color they have in class. I know the names of the kids so I usually ask how is so and so doing or when is the last time you played with xyz. I learned that children as old as 4 can understand cognitively what racism is. There is no need to wait until they are "ready" for it or until an event has occurred to speak about it.

I have learned that my child has absorbed some harmful lessons about race and racism from his schooling. While his teachers have been interested in exploring these issues, they lack the tools to engage with students effectively or beyond surface level lessons. His school still mainly focuses on Martin Luther King, Jr. during Black History Month, has not demonstrated depth of inquiry into Native American history, and confines conversations about racism to isolated overt language incidents versus interrogating widespread systemic issues. My son shares his thinking if he feels he has had racist thoughts by noticing differences in others that he attributes to race. We talk openly about where he gets these messages and what we need to do to unpack them and re-humanize.

The single biggest thing I have learned from doing this is that there is never a bad time to have an awkward or difficult conversation. We often think we need to "wait" for the right time, but there is no such thing. The right time is when you think you need to have the conversation, and I have found that my kid appreciates the opportunity to ask questions bluntly, when they are on her mind.

I think that there is an ability to see difference from a very young age (different skin colors, different hair, different languages, etc). Young kids can see and discuss and enjoy the variety of ways people look and the languages they speak. That is about normalizing difference and celebrating diversity.

Racism, in my mind, is more about the way we as a society use these differences to oppress and disenfranchise groups of people. To be antiracist, kids need a sense of how history operates in the present, how we have come to have the society we have that positions people in different ways, to see how those old stories about who people are operate in big and small ways and work deliberately against them. This part of racism/anti-racism work takes a little more sophisticated understanding.

My kids are fairly observant, so they will bring things to me. Not just the big things but the little things. My white daughter was in class with a Black friend, and she noticed that the teacher would "dress code" her friend all the time, even though their clothes were similar. We talked about that her friend is curvier, and the data that show that more developed girls get dress coded more, but we also talked about that her friend is Black. Even though the teacher is Black, we know that there is disproportionate discretionary discipline against Black kids. This reminded her of a middle school teacher, who, when he was losing control of the class, would consistently call out one of her Black classmates. We talk about this, and we talk about what it might mean to speak up.

What have been the most challenging barriers you've encountered in attempting to lay an anti-racist foundation in your child's life or children's lives?

My friends and family are mostly white. This means that while I speak about being anti-racist the people that walk through the door are usually white or light brown. This modeling shows I am somewhat hypocritical in what I say I value vs. what I am actually doing.

Countering the messages he receives from school. Helping my son understand that we need to go deeper in analyzing our own thoughts, behaviors and tendencies and privileges. Accessing resources by non-white voices in his schooling. Even just having the conversations with friends and family members that are in our community can be challenging. Our predominantly white community does not want to talk about race.

The elementary schools near us, in particular, were very white, so part of our rationale for applying for a centrally located magnet school was that we wanted our kids to be in school with a much more racially mixed group of kids. To have to navigate school district bureaucracy to give my kids a multi-racial educational context was a pain (and honestly that was not our only motivation, but it was definitely a factor in my satisfaction with their educational experience).

I don't always know the answers. We can see dynamics at play, we can name them. Of course, we can support our friends of color. My daughter affirmed her friend's experience of being singled out unfairly. But how do I advise them on going to the next step? When do they, as children, speak truth to power? How can they do that?

Please tell us a success story of anti-racist parenting.

I asked my kids what is wrong with saying there is a black person walking down the street. They answered that is just their skin color and there is nothing wrong with that. I also asked them what they would do if they heard someone making racist comments. My daughter stated she would call the comments racist and tell the person to stop speaking like that. That shows they are prepared to speak if something happens. I know knowledge and action are different so we talked about what it would feel like later if they were bystanders instead of upstanders when racist things occurred.

I'm not confident that I have one. I'm uncomfortable in saying I'm successful at this, because I don't actually know. I hope I am. I talk to my kids about race in the same way that I talk to them about sex ed - as and when I think I should be, not in an all at once "Big Talk." My son will be taking US history classes this year, and the second semester his teacher is going to be having the kids talk about things like institutional/structural racism in the US, and I will be interested to hear what he comes home with. Maybe I can see if we were effective then. Perhaps I will see there's more work to do.

When my kid was in daycare, they talked about MLK. And it was okay, but it was a pretty whitewashed version. So over the weekend, we sat down and found videos of some of his speeches because we wanted our kid to hear his words in his voice. This led to questions about his life, his death, his work, and the work of the people who surrounded him. And when my kid would ask a question, my wife and I would do our best to answer it, and then we'd find background sources to both check what we thought we knew and to get more details. We spent around an hour talking, but it felt important for our kid to know that while we celebrate MLK now (and a lot of people try and appropriate and distort his work) during his life, he faced violent hatred, to the point where he was killed for it.

During the Black Lives Matter protests at one of my daughter's schools, she walked out in solidarity with some of her classmates. When she was approached by a reporter to talk about the walkout, she demurred and put the reporter in touch with the African American leaders. She was aware that a white reporter is probably more comfortable approaching her, a white student, but she also knew that is how whiteness stays centered, even in moments where it really shouldn't be. I was really proud of how she handled that.

I left space for respondents to leave any other comments.

We have choices on where we take our kids outside of our house and neighborhood. I purposefully have them at a summer camp that is racially mixed. When we go to playgrounds I make sure the kids there are racially mixed. I make it a point to talk about various races and religions with them. My actions are intentional.

I would describe myself as "working toward anti-racism," rather than "anti-racist" because I am learning and trying to get better all the time. Racism is a social phenomenon, and our society keeps shifting. What I "new and did 10 years ago might not fit today, and what I know and do today may be inadequate in 10 years. I think part of this work is to put yourself in a position where you are always learning.

Another part of the work of anti-racist parenting involves teaching children to take real responsibility for their actions. In our family, we emphasize that a lot in all aspects of our actions: saying sorry is not enough, you have to show that you have learned and want to do differently moving forward. To me, this is foundational to an anti-racist stance. We live in a racist society, and we are all a part of that. When we "go with the flow," we may act in racist ways and hurt people, even if we are not "meaning" it. Intention is not the whole story here. If we don't know how to look at our actions, reflect, take real responsibility for their consequences on others, and then aim toward changing our future actions, we can't truly do this work.

One of the things that motivated me to pose these questions was a sense that resources on white anti-racist parenting were few and far between. While I am confident that there are thousands of white families across the United States and elsewhere who are raising their children to be firm in their anti-racist stance, I also believe that there are many more white parents who genuinely struggle with how to address racism at home and beyond. Professor Jennifer Harvey urges parents to consider the consequences:

White children are exposed to racism daily. If we parents don't point it out, show how it works and teach why it is false, over time our children are more likely to accept racist messages at face value.

She goes on to argue that the need to raise white children who can appreciate difference, acknowledge injustice and care enough to speak up is at an all time high.

The respondents to my questionnaire offer us anecdotes and reflections that I hope can serve as a springboard for continued dialogue. Like the task of parenting itself, anti-racist learning, teaching and development are lifetime efforts rather than a one-and-done event. For the long haul towards justice we need sustenance, support and direction. Sharing our wins, losses and questions along the way helps us grow our patience and perseverance as individuals and communities.

My 10 year old is learning about optimism and the notion appeals to him. As parents we are not only here to teach. My young son and his older brother remind me regularly how much we as parents are here to learn. Taking a cue from my youngest, I remain optimistic that anti-racism can be learned, taught, spread and sustained for our collective benefit today, tomorrow and every day.
*I want to say a special thank you to my 5 respondents who volunteered their time, care and insights with me and all of our readers.

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Anti-Racist Parenting While White: An Inquiry

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Several weeks ago I was struck by a question that felt urgent and necessary. The question arose after reading a thread of tweets in response to an article in the New York Times. Essentially, a white parent elaborated on her duty and commitment to raise her white children to identify racist behaviors and to interrupt the logic behind them wherever possible.

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Students Learn A Powerful Lesson About Privilege