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All parents and carers sometimes argue with one another, but sometimes, conflict between parents or carers can increase to a level that is not healthy for the family. This can happen for lots of reasons. For example, the Covid-19 lockdown, where families share the same space under increased stress and uncertainty about the future, with reduced support from friends and extended families, may increase arguments.

Conflict can also occur when parents and carers are managing stress or worries about financial issues, issues of trust and fidelity, parenting practices, or where there is stress or trauma in the family. This includes when parents or carers have decided to separate. Stress does not just make conflict more likely, but it also makes us less able to manage conflict. When we are stressed, we are less able to think objectively and see things from another person's point of view, and more likely to react in automatic, poorly thought through ways.

Our clinical team at the Centre has put together some tips for parents and carers experiencing conflict, and advice on reducing the impact of conflict between parents and carers on children.

The impact of conflict

on children and young people

Conflict can impact parents and carers who are in a relationship, and also those who are separated or divorced. Some parents or carers may find themselves stuck in a pattern of frequent and stressful conflict, and this can be difficult for everyone in the family. It can be particularly upsetting and confusing for children and young people when their parents or carers argue, and they can often feel caught in the middle or in some way responsible for the conflict.

We know as a parent or carer, the last thing you want to do is harm your child in any way, but even indirect exposure to conflict can, over time, have a serious negative impact on a child or young person's wellbeing. It can also damage the parent-child relationship as children often struggle with loyalty bonds and, for complex reasons, feel compelled to 'pick a side'. This may be the case even if the parents are not actively trying to get the child on their side. Some parents and carers may need help to manage stress and find new ways of communicating in order to break the cycle of arguments and co-parent more effectively so that their children can feel happier.

It takes a concerted effort from parents and their networks to protect children from conflict.

Think how might your child have been exposed to parental conflict? This goes beyond arguing in front of your child, it can be much more subtle than that. It can be painful to think about these things, so use your network for support, but it is really important to consider how your child may be harmed by conflict.

We encourage both parents/ carers to adopt a shared mantra: ' No matter what the conflict is between the parents, we must work together to protect the child from that conflict and maintain their relationship with both parents. '
What can you do?

Commit to working with your network and your co-parent or carer to take responsibility and actively work to protect your child from exposure to parental conflict.

This could be by finding new ways to work with your co-parent, finding news ways to interact with them, such as through parenting agreements, or seeking additional support.

The impact of parental conflict on children

Emma Morris, member of the Family Ties Team at the Anna Freud Centre, talks about the impact that parental conflict can have on children.

Short-term strategies to protect children from parental conflict
In the short term, if you realise that you have not managed to shield your child from an argument (for instance, if your child has seen or heard you arguing or your child has seen or heard you upset or angry after an argument), it is important to try to repair things, to help the child understand that they are in no way responsible for the argument and to reduce the risk of long-term impact of the conflict.

Later, when things are calm, take the time to have a conversation with your child about what happened and why. For instance, if you argued with your co-parent or carer in front of your child, maybe just apologise that your child had to see that argument, and reassure them that the issue was one between the adults and not something they need to worry about. If you said something in anger about the other parent, explain that you didn't mean what you said, you were just cross. This is so that your child's feelings about the other parent are not influenced by your own. If you were able to resolve the conflict with the co-parent or carer, let your child know. This helps demonstrate that conflicts can be sorted out even if it feels hard to do. Even if you have not resolved the conflict, you still need to make it clear to the child that it is nothing to do with them.

Ensure that the child understands that it is not because of them, and is in no way their fault, but that the parents are responsible for working things out.

Self-awareness and stress reduction

In this video, Dr. Emma Morris from the Family Ties team discusses self-awareness and stress reduction in managing conflict.

Download the transcript for this video.

Medium and long term strategies to protect children from parental conflict
There are different ways that parents and carers can work to both manage the conflict between themselves, and to reduce the impact of conflict on their children:

Involve your support network: The network around you, of friends, family and community, are an essential part of supporting families during conflict. Identify your support network and don't be afraid to reach out for support from them or some of the organisations listed below. Try and think with your network about how you can work together to ensure that your children are not exposed to parental conflict.

Know your triggers: Think about what triggers a strong reaction and stops you from being able to think rationally. It might be something obvious, for example, an upsetting word or image, or a memory from your past that causes you to have a strong reaction. Or we might not know where they come from, but we can usually identify the things that particularly irritate or annoy us. Being aware of what they are, means that you can look out for them, and when you recognise them in a conversation or interaction, step away from the situation and take some time to cool down before you step back into the interaction with your co-parent or carer.

Reducing life stressors: Think about whether there are ways that you can reduce some of the stress in your life. This is a great opportunity to think with your network about how they can support you. Could one of your support network provide childcare, so you can have a bit of time on your own or with friends? Do you have high expectations for yourself in your job or your personal life? Can you work to take that pressure off a little bit? Ask your network for help.

Coping strategies: How do you manage strong feelings or being upset? Do you have strong coping strategies or are others less helpful? Talk to your network, do they have suggestions? It can be useful to think about coping strategies in two broad categories

Emotion-Focused Coping Skills: These coping strategies are focused on bringing down emotional arousal, and include activities like exercising, taking a bath, meditating, and giving yourself a pep talk. These are just some suggestions, find what works for you to manage your feelings, or talk to a friend or family member about what might help

Problem- Focused Coping Skills: Problem focused coping skills work to address the difficulties, like working on managing your time, establishing boundaries, and asking your network for help.

Letting go: Think about the conflict between you and your co-parent or carer. Is there conflict that is ongoing and harmful and unresolved, that you are unlikely to be able to resolve. Think about whether you can tolerate that there is more than one feeling or truth. Consider whether you can, even temporarily, let go of that conflict.

Separation or divorce is a difficult time for the whole family. Although the relationship has broken down, the family still exists. Therefore, parents need to continue communicating and working together for their children.

Your child's interest is paramount: Recognise that the child has the right to a full and loving relationship with both parents

Co-parenting plan: Work out a co-parenting plan to discuss and manage shared child care arrangements, such as how school runs, weekends and holidays will work. A co-parenting plan has more flexibility than a custody arrangement, but has the similar aim of supporting the child to have a relationship with both parents.

Maintain consistency: Agree things like bedtimes, curfews and homework for both parents. Having two sets of rules can be confusing for children and shows a lack of dependency and consistency between the parents.

Manage your feelings elsewhere: There is often a lot of anger, hurt or resentment between separated parents. These feelings need to take a backseat to the needs of your children. Get your feelings out somewhere else, and never vent to your children. Friends, therapists, or even a loving pet can all make good listeners.

Helpful communication: Peaceful, consistent and purposeful communication with your co-parent is an essential aim. Think about communication as having the highest importance for your child's wellbeing.

Discipline: When disciplining, try to follow similar systems of consequences for broken rules. This shows your children that you are working together.

Support both homes: Children of separated parents in conflict often tell us that they find the move between homes very difficult. When a child moves between homes, try and make the transition smooth and not stressful. Be civil to the other parent- greet them and handover any relevant information. Let the child bring toys between homes. If there are disagreements about contact, for example a parent drops off a child consistently late, manage these disagreements away from the child.

Managing and reducing parental conflict is really difficult, and there are increasing numbers of programmes and professionals that can provide support to parents and carers who need it. Some options for additional support are listed below. You can find more information about support in your local area by speaking to your GP.

Self-care is an important component of supporting children and young people through parental conflict. If parents don't care for themselves, they are less able to support the children and young people in their care. In the following video Social Worker and Family Therapist Joanne Jackson speaks about self-care, and why it is important.

For more self-care advice please visit Self-care for parents and carers.

Young parents and carers can also view and download our Self-care top tips for young parents and carers booklet here.

View a list of over 90 self-care strategies which may help you if you're feeling low or anxious.

For free 24/7 text message support, please see AFC Crisis Messenger.

If you're a parent or carer who is experiencing conflict within your relationship, you may want additional support in managing that conflict. There are a wide variety of resources for parents and carers to access free of charge.

If you feel like you need additional support, the Anna Freud Centre offers a variety of services within our clinical team.

Support from the Centre

Family Ties Online Therapy for Parents in Conflict - We provide an online support programme for parents or carers, together or separated, who are struggling with conflict. Due to funding, we have limited places on the programme that are available free of charge. You can find out more about the programme, and refer yourself or someone else, by clicking here.

No Kids in the Middle AFC - No Kids in the Middle AFC is a multi-family group for parents or carers who have separated, and are experiencing parental conflict. To find out more about these groups, and to refer yourself or someone else, visit the webpage here.

Contact and Residence Disputes - for families in court, or who need more specialised help, our specialist Contact and Residence Disputes team offer a range of support. Find more information by clicking here.

Support from external organisations

There are also organisations across the UK that provide additional support for parents and carers who have conflict.

Relate: The relationship charity offer a range of support for family life and parenting, as well as conflict with relationship. Find out more

ClickRelationships: Offers a wide range of relationship support, as well as support for parenting together and apart. Find out more

Action for Children: Offers Parent Talk, which provides parenting advice to families, and parenting coaches for those who want it. Find out more

SeeItDifferently: A collaboration between Good Things Foundation and OnePlusOne, See It Differently has co-produced digital content to support parents and carers has digital content that helps parents recognise and work through different conflict scenarios. Find out more

CAFCASS: The Children and Family Court Advisory Support Service has a broad range of information, including a directory of further services for parents and families. Find out more

Professionals working with families in conflict will be well aware of the challenges that come with supporting families. It is essential to keep the child in mind, ensuring that we are working to reduce the impact of conflict on children, and to ensure that we are promoting and protecting the child's relationships with their parents.

The Anna Freud Centre provide a variety of training for professionals who want to develop their skills in working with high conflict parents.

We have also piloted and evaluated interventions for families in conflict, conducting service evaluations, working with Local Authorities, and training frontline mental health practitioners to deliver our programmes. If you are interested in learning more about our research, please contact FamilyTies@annafreud.org.

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All parents and carers sometimes argue with one another, but sometimes, conflict between parents or carers can increase to a level that is not healthy for the family. This can happen for lots of reasons. For example, the Covid-19 lockdown, where families share the same space under increased stress and uncertainty about the future, with reduced support from friends and extended families, may increase arguments.

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Paired reading is a simple way for adults to support children’s reading. It is easy to do at school and can also be done at home. It gives children confidence, enjoyment and practice in reading, and at the same time it empowers parents and carers to enjoy the process alongside them. Anyone can do it- no special knowledge or equipment is needed! We’ve made a short video for families and schools so that you can see paired reading in action. Feel free to share it with others.
Things you will need-
Books: Let your child choose any book (even if it seems too hard).
Time: Every day for 5-10 minutes.
Place: Somewhere quiet and comfortable.

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What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of worry or fear that is experienced as a combination of physical sensations, thoughts and feelings.

All children and young people feel worried sometimes, and this is a normal part of growing up. At certain points, such as on their first day of school or before an exam, young people may become more worried, but will soon be able to calm down and feel better.

Anxiety can become a problem when a young person feels stuck in it, or when it feels like an overwhelming, distressing or unmanageable experience. If this kind of worrying goes on for a long time, it can leave a young person feeling exhausted and isolated, and limit the things they feel able to do.

If your child is struggling with anxiety, there are things you can do to help them - including providing emotional support, working on practical strategies together and finding the right professional help if they need it.

What makes young people anxious?

A young person may feel anxious for a number of different reasons, depending on the individual. If your child is feeling unmanageable amounts of worry and fear, this is often a sign that something in their life isn't right and they need support to work out what the problem is.

The following kinds of things can make some children and young people feel more anxious:

experiencing lots of change in a short space of time, such as moving house or school

having responsibilities that are beyond their age and development, for example caring for other people in their family

being around someone who is very anxious, such as a parent

struggling at school, including feeling overwhelmed by work, exams or peer groups

experiencing family stress around things like housing, money and debt

going through distressing or traumatic experiences in which they do not feel safe, such as being bullied or witnessing or experiencing abuse

This video by Braive is a useful way of understanding how stress and anxiety can build up in a person's life.

Symptoms of anxiety

Anxiety tends to affect a young person's body, thoughts and feelings. They may also behave differently, including turning to certain coping behaviours to try to avoid or manage their anxiety.
Physical symptoms:

panic attacks, which can include having a racing heart, breathing very quickly, sweating or shaking

shallow or quick breathing, or feeling unable to breathe

feeling sick

dry mouth

sweating more than usual

tense muscles

wobbly legs

Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), diarrhoea or needing to pee more than usual

getting very hot

Thoughts and feelings:

preoccupied by upsetting, scary or negative thoughts

nervous, on edge, panicky or frightened

overwhelmed or out of control

full of dread or an impending sense of doom

alert to noises, smells or sights

worrying about being unable to cope with daily things like school, friendships and being in groups or social situations

worrying so much that it is difficult to concentrate and/or sleep

Coping behaviours:

withdrawing or isolating themselves - including not wanting to go to school, be in social or group situations, be away from parents or try new things

repeating certain behaviours, actions or rituals (often called 'obsessive compulsive behaviours')

eating more or less than usual

self-harming

How to help your child in an anxious moment

When your child is in the middle of a very anxious moment, they may feel frightened, agitated or worried about having a panic attack. The important thing to do in the moment is to help them calm down and feel safe.

These strategies can help:

Breathe slowly and deeply together. You can count slowly to five as you breathe in, and then five as you breathe out. If this is too much, try starting with shorter counts. If it works for them, gradually encourage your child to breathe out for one or two counts longer than they breathe in, as this can help their body relax.

Sit with them and offer calm physical reassurance. Feeling you nearby, or holding your hand or having a cuddle if it's possible, can be soothing.

Reassure them that the anxiety will pass and that they will be okay. It can be helpful to describe it as a wave that they can ride or surf until it peaks, breaks and gets smaller.

Ask them to think of a safe and relaxing place or person in their mind. If you haven't tried this before, agree with them when they're feeling calm what this place or person is. It could be their bedroom, a grandparent's house, a favourite place in nature or somewhere they've been on holiday. Sometimes holding a memento of a relaxing place, like a seashell or pebble, can help.

Try using all five senses together. Connecting with what they can see, touch, hear, smell and taste can bring them closer to the present moment and reduce the intensity of their anxiety. You might think together about five things they can see, four things they can touch, three things they can hear, two things they can smell and one thing they can taste.

Encourage them to do something that helps them to feel calmer. This could be running, walking, listening to music, painting, drawing or colouring-in, writing in a journal, watching a favourite film or reading a favourite book.

Remember that everyone is different, and that over time you and your child can work together to find the things that work best for them in these moments.

How to help your child manage their anxiety

Outside of moments when your child is feeling particularly anxious or panicky, there are things you can do over time to help them manage their anxiety and feel better.

A lot of these strategies are about helping your child to understand themselves and find out what works for them. The more confident they feel about helping themselves when things are hard, the more they will believe in their ability to cope - helping to reduce feelings of panic.

In a calmer moment, talk with your child about their anxiety. Ask them what it feels like in their mind and body, and what things make them feel that way. It can be tempting to dismiss their worries because you want to reassure them, but it's important to empathise with their experience and validate their feelings. You can find our tips on starting a conversation with your child here.

Think together about whether there's anything in particular that's making them feel anxious. This could include a friendship, a relationship with a family member, their schoolwork or a combination of things. Are there changes that could be made at home or school that would make things easier? If your child is worrying about things that are outside of their control, it might help to name together who is responsible for managing the problem - for example, you might say, "worrying about money is the parents' job".

I felt that we lost the idea that it's important to validate their feelings rather than dismiss them. But I think this is a really important point that we shouldn't lose

Help your child to recognise the signs that tell them they're getting anxious, so they know when to ask for help or help themselves. Anxiety might make them feel sick or make their heart race. Getting to know these signs can make them less frightening and overwhelming when they happen.

Think together about the activities that help them to express themselves and reduce their anxiety. Your child could try doing exercise, drawing or painting, writing in a journal, watching a favourite film, talking to friends or cooking and baking. These kinds of activities can help them to feel calmer.

Try activities that help us to relax, such as mindfulness, yoga or meditation. Teenagers might like to use a mindfulness or meditation app such as Headspace or Calm. Remember that some people find these activities more helpful than others, so encourage your child to decide what works for them.

Make a worry box or self-soothe box. It might help your child to write down their worries and put them in a worry box, giving them a physical place where their worries can be 'held'. Or they might prefer a self-soothe box, which they can fill with things that help them when they feel anxious - like photos, fidget toys, scented oils and positive quotes. You can find out how to make a worry box here, or a self-soothe box here - or watch the video below.

Help them do the things we know are important for our mental health: physical exercise, sleeping well, eating healthily, drinking water and spending quality time with loved ones. Regular exercise is particularly important for anxiety because it can help to reduce the symptoms in the body. It doesn't have to be strenuous - walking or gentle yoga can help.

Encourage them to cut out stimulants. Reducing or stopping drinking coffee, caffeinated drinks and alcohol can help because these can all trigger the physical symptoms of anxiety.

Spend quality time together and talk about other things. Even if it's just for a little while, you can help your child take their mind off their worries by having fun, relaxing and laughing. Activities like playing a sport, sewing or playing musical instruments are great for focusing the mind on the moment. You can find more activity ideas here.

Seek professional help if you're worried about your child's mental health and things aren't getting better. Some children and young people with anxiety will need professional and specialist help to feel better. They may benefit from a specific diagnosis or a treatment such as medication or talking therapy. You can find more information about this below.

I've found it helpful when talking about anxiety to think about achievable goals for overcoming worries that stop them from doing things, and then to create stages like a ladder to get to them

Young people tell us it helps to:

find positive activities you enjoy

think about something you're looking forward to

do physical exercise

learn mindfulness and yoga

imagine your thoughts leaving your brain and floating off into the sky

keep yourself occupied

have time out

reflect on how you're feeling

talk to other people you trust

remind yourself you're not alone - odds are someone in your friendship circle has anxiety or depression too

Finding professional help

It's a good idea to seek professional support if self-help strategies are not making the situation better and anxiety is affecting your child's life, for example if they are feeling persistently anxious, often having distressing thoughts, or avoiding things like going outside or speaking to others.
GP and Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS)
Speaking to your GP is usually the first step to accessing mental health services. You can speak to your GP with or without your child. Together you can discuss whether referral to CAMHS, an assessment by a mental health specialist or referral for another kind of support is needed.

The type of support or treatment offered will depend on your child's age and the kind of anxiety they are experiencing. Talking therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help your child to understand the thoughts and feelings behind their anxiety and find practical strategies to help them cope.

Medication may be offered if your child's anxiety is very difficult to manage or talking therapy has not helped. Medication should be suggested alongside talking therapies or another psychological treatment, and by a doctor who specialises in children's mental health.

Counselling and therapy
Counsellors and therapists can provide emotional support and help your child to make sense of, and find ways to cope with, their anxiety. Therapists working with younger children will usually work through play and arts activities such as painting, drawing and making things.

In addition to your GP, you may be able to access free or subsidised counselling and therapy at your child's school if they provide a counselling service. You can also search online for free counselling services in your area, and the Youth Access directory can help you do this.

If it's an affordable option for you, you can find a private counsellor, therapist or family therapist using the directories listed in our guide.

Your child's school
If your child is struggling, it can help to be open with the school about what's going on and what support your child needs. Depending on their age, it may be important to make sure your child feels some control over the information that's shared about them - for example by discussing with them who they would feel comfortable for you to speak to.

Alongside counselling, schools can often provide support from the pastoral team, a member of staff who your child can chat to when they need to, mentoring, peer buddying and clubs and activities.

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Anxiety is a feeling of worry or fear that is experienced as a combination of physical sensations, thoughts and feelings. All children and young people feel worried sometimes, and this is a normal part of growing up.

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These home learning lessons on healthy sleep habits will help pupils to:

recognise what good quality sleep is and what the benefits of it are

understand the importance of routines for promoting good quality sleep

understand how sleep patterns change and how challenges in getting good quality sleep can be overcome

COMING SOON... Home learning lessons for KS1-3 exploring the importance of dental health and oral hygiene, and helping to:

raise awareness of the impact of good oral hygiene and dental health behaviours

equip young people with the skills and strategies they need to care for their own dental health

For updates on when our latest home learning resources are released, and:

Other PSHE-related guidance and resources

Online CPD Opportunities

PSHE Policy updates

Join as a member today for unrestricted access to all of our materials, and start planing and delivering a curriculum that prepares young people for life and work in modern Britain.

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These home learning lessons on healthy sleep habits will help pupils to: recognise what good quality sleep is and what the benefits of it are understand the importance of routines for promoting good quality sleep understand how sleep patterns change and how challenges in getting good quality sleep can be overcome COMING SOON...

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Here at The Linking Network we're all about connecting people and whilst we can't link up in person at the moment, we think it's really important we keep linked up at the moment so we've created some resources and ideas for activities which we hope you will find useful. Here is a news item on family engagement.

If you get chance do share with us how you're getting on with the activities and resources on Facebook The Linking Network - support for families learning at home and Twitter @Linking_Network #homelinking

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Parent Home Learning Resources | The Linking Network

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Here at The Linking Network we're all about connecting people and whilst we can't link up in person at the moment, we think it's really important we keep linked up at the moment so we've created some resources and ideas for activities which we hope you will find useful.

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The LearnEnglish Kids team want to support parents at this challenging time. Many parents around the world are spending a lot of time at home with their young children. If you're in this situation, our website can help you support your child's English learning at home.

Here are some ideas for short activities that your children can do by themselves and/or with limited guidance. Don't worry if you don't speak English - you can give your child the instructions in your own language, and at the end of the activity they can also tell you about it in your own language. The most important thing is that while they are doing the activity, they are using English.

Revise schoolwork

LearnEnglish Kids has lots of activities related to common topics that children study at school, and most of our pages are designed for children to work through independently. Look at your children's English school books to see what topics they've covered this year, then look for the topics on our Resources page. Choose some of the related activities for your child to do.

Challenge a friend

Keeping in contact with school friends can help children feel less isolated. Ask your child to challenge a friend over a chat or video call. If they can call them and speak English, even better!

Do some crafts

Crafts are fun to make, and following our videos or instructions in English helps children learn at the same time. All the activities use very basic materials that you'll probably already have at home.

How to ... videos

Our How to ... videos show children how to make or do something, with online or printable exercises that children can complete independently to check their understanding. Ask your child to choose a video, complete the exercises and then make or do what the video showed!

Craft printables

Lots of our craft activities have printable templates. Ask your child to choose a craft and make it. Then they can use it to practise English. For example, if they make a skeleton, ask them to tell you or write the names of all the body parts they know in English. If they make a crocodile puppet, pretend to have a conversation with the crocodile!

Flashcards and colouring pages

Younger children especially will enjoy making flashcards and colouring pictures. Choose a topic your child has studied at school and print out the materials for them. Ask them to make the flashcards or read and colour the picture. If they make flashcards, they can also play the memory game with another member of the family.

Vocabulary

There are lots of ways to revise and extend vocabulary at home.

Word games

LearnEnglish Kids has got lots of picture-word matching games on many different topics. Each game has audio, so children can also practise pronunciation. Ask your child to play three games of their choice and to write and draw the words that they didn't know before in a notebook.

Songs and stories

Songs and stories are also great for extending children's vocabulary. Our songs and stories have preparation vocabulary games for children to play before they watch the video, to help them learn new words. Ask your child to choose one song and one story and play the preparation game. When they watch the video, they can stand up when they hear the words that were in the game.

Word bags

Ask your child to look in their school English book and choose five words from each unit they have studied so far, or words from activities they have done on LearnEnglish Kids. Ask them to make mini word cards by writing the words on small pieces of paper. Put the words in a bag. Every day, for example after dinner, take out five words and ask your child to:

spell the words

define the words

translate the words

draw the words

tell a simple story using the words!

Sticky notes

Give your child some blank sticky notes and ask them to go round the house and label everything they can in English. If they don't know the word, encourage them to look in a dictionary to find out. When they finish, ask them to give you all the sticky notes that they checked in a dictionary. The next day, give the sticky notes with the new words back. Can they remember what things to put them on?

30-minute missions

Set one of the following 'missions' for your child to do on the website.

Listen to three songs and choose your favourite. Listen to it a few times and sing along. Be ready to sing the song to us in the evening! Can you teach us the words?

Watch three stories and choose your favourite. Watch it a few times and decide what the main events in the story are. Can you explain the story to us in the evening?

Listen to three poems and choose your favourite. Do all the tasks on the page. Practise saying the poem together with the recording. Print the words to the poem or get the words ready on your screen. Read the poem to us in the evening!

Go to the Video zone section and watch some videos. Choose one video for each member of the family that you think we would like to watch. This evening, tell us which video you chose for each of us and why!

Do you think grammar is difficult? Choose a grammar topic that you have studied at school and do the exercises. Can you find a grammar chant with the same topic? Teach us the grammar this evening!

Choose three Your turn topics. Read the questions and think about your answers. Write your answers in English as a comment on the page [your child will need to have a LearnEnglish Kids account and be logged into the website]. Read the answers from the other children and reply to one of them. Go back to the pages tomorrow or the next day to see your comments published!

More ideas

Your child can use the worksheet below to record the activities they do each day on LearnEnglish Kids! It can be motivating for children to keep a record of what they do and learn, and you can review it with your child at the end of the day or the week and talk with them about what they liked best.

For more ideas, go to the LearnEnglish Kids Parents section. There are video tips showing families doing activities in English and top tips with short suggestions. You can also follow our LearnEnglish Parents Facebook page for daily updates!

We hope these suggestions help at this challenging time, and you might find these become new English learning habits even after your children have gone back to school!
LearnEnglish Kids team

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The LearnEnglish Kids team want to support parents at this challenging time. Many parents around the world are spending a lot of time at home with their young children. If you're in this situation, our website can help you support your child's English learning at home.

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Thank you for visiting this website, and I hope you will find something here that is helpful in some way to you, your family, or to a family you support. There is a lot of information that has been developed to support children with additional needs, their families and the staff who support them.

About Yvonne Newbold and this Website
Yvonne is a Mother; Author of The Special Parent's Handbook; Writer, Speaker; Trainer; Founder of The SEND VCB Project; National Learning Disability and Autism Lifetime Achievement Award Winner 2018; WHIS Ambassador, Autism, Learning Disabilities & Families; Advisor, NHS England Learning Disabilities & Autism; GLLDCOP {Greater London Learning Disabilities Community of Practice) Steering Group Member; School for Change Agents Graduate 2017; PENNA Outstanding Contribution to Patient Experience Award 2016; LDT Learning Disability Champion Award 2015; HSJ Top 50 Inspirational Women in Healthcare Award 2014. QFC PTTLS Level 3
The SEND VCB Project

Over the past couple of years, my primary focus has been on SEND VCB, or Special Educational Needs and Disabilities, Violent and Challenging Behaviour. It all started here, with the first ever Conference on Violent and Challenging Behaviour in Children with an Additional Need.

Those conversations did indeed continue. I now run Workshops and give talks to parents and staff who work with our children in London and all over the country. Here's the link to find out more -

To find out more about SEND VCB you may find it helpful to listen to me talking about it in this NHS England Webinar -

Here are some of the resources I've created for parents and professionals -

Resources on SEND VCB - for families and professionals who work with children or vulnerable adults

If you only have time to read one, this would be a great starting point -

Violent & Challenging Behaviour - The Basics

Facebook Pages / Groups

If you are a parent living with a child who is violent and challenging, we have a closed Facebook Group called Breaking the Silence on SEND VCB. It's where parents can come together to support each other, share difficulties or suggestions and learn from one another in a safe space with no judgement. If you'd like to join, we will ask three questions before adding you to ensure as far as we can that all new members have first hand experience of SEND VCB within their own families. Here's the link - https://www.facebook.com/groups/421839288150939/

If you are a professional and would like to learn more, we also have a Public Page called SEND VCB where we share relevant posts about this topic.Here's the link - https://www.facebook.com/SEND-VCB-1460745954052601/

There's another Facebook Public Page called The SEND Parent's Handbook, where we share the best quality information we can find on any childhood disability topic, and it's popular with both parents and professionals alike. Here's the link - https://www.facebook.com/thespecialparentshandbook/

I also speak about other issues relevant to children and young adults who have severe learning disabilities, here is a video of a talk to healthcare staff at a series of NHS England Events. -

Forthcoming Events

2018

Wednesday, 7 th November - GLLDCOP Launch Conference - London

Friday. 16 th November - North Lincs SEND Conference, Scunthorpe

Saturday 17 th November - London - You Can Do This! Workshop

Monday, 19th November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns at 11.30am and 4.00pm

Tuesday, 20th November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns after-school session

Wednesday 21st November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns after-school session

Thursday 22nd November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns, lunchtime and after school

Friday 23rd December - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns after school session

Saturday, 1 st December - London - Overcoming the Challenges Workshop

Saturday, 8 th December - London - How to Reduce Violent Meltdowns

2019

Saturday 12th January - London - How to keep Brothers and Sisters Safe and Happy

Monday 12th March - Warwick - How to Reduce Violent Meltdowns

Wednesday 14th March - Herts - How to Reduce Violent Meltdowns

The Special Parent's Handbook

Written originally for parents of children with additional needs, it's now widely read by professionals across health, education and social care as well. It's also an Amazon #1 Best Seller. If you visit the Amazon Page, you can read the first chapter on their "Look Inside" feature, and you'll also be able to see see the warm-hearted and lovely reviews that several kind people have written about it too.

There's also an online course all about making your family Christmas more Autism-Friendly, looking specifically at the seaonal causes of anxiety and what you can do to make them more manageable for your child. It normally retails at £34.99, but if you use the link below, you'll save over 40%, and it will only be £19.99

Yvonne is a member of the Amazon Affiliates Program which means that if you click on an Amazon link from this website and subsequently make a purchase, she will be paid a small commission.

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Thank you for visiting this website, and I hope you will find something here that is helpful in some way to you, your family, or to a family you support. There is a lot of information that has been developed to support children with additional needs, their families and the staff who support them.

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A Month of Outdoor Activities | Love Outdoor Learning

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With a new lockdown in place in the UK we are back to making the most of our walks. So, we thought we would share a month of outdoor activities with

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The LearnEnglish Kids team want to support parents at this challenging time. Many parents around the world are spending a lot of time at home with their young children. If you're in this situation, our website can help you support your child's English learning at home.

Here are some ideas for short activities that your children can do by themselves and/or with limited guidance. Don't worry if you don't speak English - you can give your child the instructions in your own language, and at the end of the activity they can also tell you about it in your own language. The most important thing is that while they are doing the activity, they are using English.

Revise schoolwork

LearnEnglish Kids has lots of activities related to common topics that children study at school, and most of our pages are designed for children to work through independently. Look at your children's English school books to see what topics they've covered this year, then look for the topics on our Resources page. Choose some of the related activities for your child to do.

Challenge a friend

Keeping in contact with school friends can help children feel less isolated. Ask your child to challenge a friend over a chat or video call. If they can call them and speak English, even better!

Do some crafts

Crafts are fun to make, and following our videos or instructions in English helps children learn at the same time. All the activities use very basic materials that you'll probably already have at home.

How to ... videos

Our How to ... videos show children how to make or do something, with online or printable exercises that children can complete independently to check their understanding. Ask your child to choose a video, complete the exercises and then make or do what the video showed!

Craft printables

Lots of our craft activities have printable templates. Ask your child to choose a craft and make it. Then they can use it to practise English. For example, if they make a skeleton, ask them to tell you or write the names of all the body parts they know in English. If they make a crocodile puppet, pretend to have a conversation with the crocodile!

Flashcards and colouring pages

Younger children especially will enjoy making flashcards and colouring pictures. Choose a topic your child has studied at school and print out the materials for them. Ask them to make the flashcards or read and colour the picture. If they make flashcards, they can also play the memory game with another member of the family.

Vocabulary

There are lots of ways to revise and extend vocabulary at home.

Word games

LearnEnglish Kids has got lots of picture-word matching games on many different topics. Each game has audio, so children can also practise pronunciation. Ask your child to play three games of their choice and to write and draw the words that they didn't know before in a notebook.

Songs and stories

Songs and stories are also great for extending children's vocabulary. Our songs and stories have preparation vocabulary games for children to play before they watch the video, to help them learn new words. Ask your child to choose one song and one story and play the preparation game. When they watch the video, they can stand up when they hear the words that were in the game.

Word bags

Ask your child to look in their school English book and choose five words from each unit they have studied so far, or words from activities they have done on LearnEnglish Kids. Ask them to make mini word cards by writing the words on small pieces of paper. Put the words in a bag. Every day, for example after dinner, take out five words and ask your child to:

spell the words

define the words

translate the words

draw the words

tell a simple story using the words!

Sticky notes

Give your child some blank sticky notes and ask them to go round the house and label everything they can in English. If they don't know the word, encourage them to look in a dictionary to find out. When they finish, ask them to give you all the sticky notes that they checked in a dictionary. The next day, give the sticky notes with the new words back. Can they remember what things to put them on?

30-minute missions

Set one of the following 'missions' for your child to do on the website.

Listen to three songs and choose your favourite. Listen to it a few times and sing along. Be ready to sing the song to us in the evening! Can you teach us the words?

Watch three stories and choose your favourite. Watch it a few times and decide what the main events in the story are. Can you explain the story to us in the evening?

Listen to three poems and choose your favourite. Do all the tasks on the page. Practise saying the poem together with the recording. Print the words to the poem or get the words ready on your screen. Read the poem to us in the evening!

Go to the Video zone section and watch some videos. Choose one video for each member of the family that you think we would like to watch. This evening, tell us which video you chose for each of us and why!

Do you think grammar is difficult? Choose a grammar topic that you have studied at school and do the exercises. Can you find a grammar chant with the same topic? Teach us the grammar this evening!

Choose three Your turn topics. Read the questions and think about your answers. Write your answers in English as a comment on the page [your child will need to have a LearnEnglish Kids account and be logged into the website]. Read the answers from the other children and reply to one of them. Go back to the pages tomorrow or the next day to see your comments published!

More ideas

Your child can use the worksheet below to record the activities they do each day on LearnEnglish Kids! It can be motivating for children to keep a record of what they do and learn, and you can review it with your child at the end of the day or the week and talk with them about what they liked best.

For more ideas, go to the LearnEnglish Kids Parents section. There are video tips showing families doing activities in English and top tips with short suggestions. You can also follow our LearnEnglish Parents Facebook page for daily updates!

We hope these suggestions help at this challenging time, and you might find these become new English learning habits even after your children have gone back to school!
LearnEnglish Kids team

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The LearnEnglish Kids team want to support parents at this challenging time. Many parents around the world are spending a lot of time at home with their young children. If you're in this situation, our website can help you support your child's English learning at home.

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No parent is perfect.

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Self Care for Parents & Carers - Why & How. 

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Self Care for Parents & Carers - Why & How. 

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Ways to put yourself first

Give yourself permission

It is very easy, as a parent or carer, to prioritise the needs of your family and others ahead of your own wellbeing. But taking time for yourself is not selfish. Everybody needs space to unwind and relax, and giving yourself permission to take some time to recharge your batteries means that you will hopefully have more energy and patience to meet the needs of your family. Start by trying to give yourself 10 minutes each day where you can just sit down, have a cup of tea and take a breather.'

You often get told to give some time for yourself. This doesn't need to be outside of the house. You can do this however you want, even if its going to the next room and eating some chocolate. '

Be kind to yourself

If you're looking at this page there's a pretty good chance you're struggling at the moment. It may be that you also feel bad about yourself and feel as if you're failing. If this is happening it can help to have a think about how you 'talk' to yourself. We're sometimes much harder on ourselves in our own thoughts than we would be to anyone else we speak to. Imagine that it's a friend who's in your situation right now instead of you. How would you comfort them? How would you encourage them? Can you speak encouragingly to yourself too?
'When things aren't going well, I often blame myself. I'm learning to notice when I do it and to try to be kind and gentle with myself. I tell myself I'm doing my best instead of that I'm failing.'
Ways to get things done

Make a to-do list

At times you might find that your 'list of things to do' can build up. This could be general errands, shopping for vital items, or general admin. If these tasks are weighing on your mind compile a to-do list that you can tick off as you go along prioritising those activities which need to be done that day or week. This includes setting aside quality time with your children and time for yourself. Just seeing everything written down may help make things seem more manageable and identify things which really aren't urgent. And remember it is fine and healthy to sometimes have a downday.
'I've had to learn how to not feel guilty about not getting everything I wanted to get done. A mixture of self-compassion and having realistic expectations to begin with.'
Ask for help

Asking for help from others can sometimes feel as if we're failing as a parent or carer but parenting can be tough and reaching out for support is nothing to feel ashamed of. Whether it's minding your child for a short time to allow you to get things done or running a small errand for you, friends and family will often be happy to help and children and young people can also benefit from knowing there are other trusted adults in their life that your family can turn to. Depending on the age of the child, you can also ask them to complete age-appropriate tasks to help around the house to relieve you of some of the everyday tasks.
'It's so important to take help where you can. Try to be specific about the help you need and when you need it as this will often help others know what is required and how they can help.'
Ways to look after yourself

Maintain energy levels
'Making time to exercise is really important even if its just walking around the block with your baby in a pram.' 'My partner would often have to work late so every now and again I would ask a friend to babysit whilst I slept upstairs knowing my children were safe and entertained downstairs.'
Looking after your physical health can have a positive impact on your mental and emotional wellbeing. A healthy and balanced diet can help how you feel physically and avoiding certain foods can help if you're feeling low or anxious. Regular exercise doesn't need to mean running 5ks but may include regular walks,

or visualisation.

Prioritise sleep
'It's important to have your own voice and to not let others tell you what you should be doing or what you need.'
Balanced sleep is really important for good mental health but it can also be a really useful self-care tool for when you need a break to get away from your thoughts or situation for a bit. Trying to establish good sleep routines for your children can be the first step to giving you time at night to relax and allow you to get a good night sleep for yourself. This may be harder with babies and infants but even with older children you may benefit from allowing yourself a power nap in the daytime whilst they are at school.

Ways to stay connected
'As much as I love my phone and everything I use it for, I feel like I'd be much less anxious without it.'
Check in with friends

Maintaining good relationships with friends and family is one of the most important factors in maintaining good mental health. New 'parent friends' can be great for both you and your children but sometimes old friends are the only ones who you can really confide in, have a laugh with, and make you feel better about yourself. Of course, meeting face-to-face may not always be possible but scheduling a regular call once your children are in bed or doing their homework can make all the difference.
'Doing something that I love and that I've loved since before I had children helps me to feel energised and more 'myself'. It's good to remember who I am outside of being a parent.'
Say 'no' to things

Often when we're struggling, it may feel hard to balance how we're feeling with the expectations that may be placed on us by ourselves or our family. There is lots of advice about setting healthy boundaries and interpersonal effectiveness worksheets online which can help you communicate your needs without seeming aggressive or feeling guilty about neglecting the needs of others. Remember you have the right to say yes or no without having to explain your reasons.

Ways to create free time in your diary

Sometimes a 24/7 engagement with instant messaging and social media can feel a bit relentless and stressful. Some people say they stay on devices out of habit. Just as you might limit your children's time on devices, try to set a time when you will put the phone down and unwind with your family. You can also curate your social media by only following accounts that make you feel good and blocking or ignoring accounts which may make you feel angry, low or depressed. Limiting use of devices can also help you have 'good sleep' which in turn can help with your energy levels and mental wellbeing.

Remember your passions

Before you became a parent of carer, you may have had hobbies or passions which have fallen by the wayside. Finding time to engage in activities which you enjoy can boost your self-esteem and have a positive impact on your own wellbeing. Whether its baking, crafting, creative writing, or drawing and painting, there are many activities you can do at home that needn't cost too much and can give you a sense of pride when the activity is complete. Of course, you may prefer to join a choir or local drama group or even just taking time to listen to music that you like rather than what your kids like can prove beneficial.

Additional support

Whilst self-care is important, it is important to recognise that if you are struggling as a parent or carer with your mental health and wellbeing that you know that there is help and support out there for you. Your GP should be able to offer help and support and, if necessary, refer you to an adult mental health service. Where possible, try to talk to a trusted friend or relative so they are also aware of how you're feeling and can check in on you. The below organisations also offer crisis support for parents and carers:

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Guidance on the importance of self-care for parents and carers

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Mental health & parenting

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Parenting with mental health problems

Parenting comes with lots of challenges, which can be even more difficult if you're dealing with mental health problems.

Not all children who live with someone with mental health problems will experience abuse or be affected negatively. In fact, many parents are able to give children safe and loving care.

But sometimes it does affect their ability to cope with family life. So it's important that parents and carers can find support when they need it.

What are mental health problems?

When we talk about mental health problems we mean conditions like:

anxiety disorders

bipolar disorder

depression

obsessive-compulsive disorder

personality disorders

post-traumatic stress disorder

schizophrenia.

This is not a complete list. There are many types of mental health problems, and if yours isn't listed, we're still here to support you.

How can mental health problems affect parenting?

Sometimes these conditions can affect a parent's ability to provide the care that children need. Parents or carers may:

have mood swings

find it difficult to recognise their children's needs

or struggle with keeping routines such as mealtimes, bedtimes and taking their children to school.

If you, or someone you know is struggling, there's support available.

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Help and advice for parents and families living with mental health problems.

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'Child in Mind' Podcasts: to help parents/carers understand & manage child/family mental health. 

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'Child in Mind' Podcasts: to help parents/carers understand & manage child/family mental health. 

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Anxiety - ADHD - Self-harm - Trauma - Eating Disorders - Impact of online sexual material - The Adolescent Brain

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Child in Mind | Podcast on Managing Children and Family Mental Health Problems | Anna Freud Centre

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We've produced a series of expert podcasts to help parents understand and manage child and family mental health problems.

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A-Z

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Our A-Z gives you advice on how to help your child with specific mental health conditions, and life events which might be negatively affecting their wellbeing. We'll also show you where you can get help.

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Our A-Z gives you advice on how to help your child with specific mental health conditions, and life events which might be negatively affecting their wellbeing. We'll also show you where you can get help.

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Supporting your child through the pandemic

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Eating Problems

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Text YM to 85258

Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis.

All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors.

Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.

Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.

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Eating Disorders & Problems | Guide For Parents

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Text YM to 85258 Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis. All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors. Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.

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Challenging Behaviour

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In this guide we provide information and strategies for parents of primary aged children. Some suggestions may also feel appropriate for older children and young people.

What is challenging behaviour?

Just like us, children behave differently at different times. Feeling upset, sad, cross, frustrated and lots of other kinds of emotions is a normal and healthy part of their life. Many children go through phases of testing boundaries, and they are likely to behave in ways that are harder to manage when they are tired, ill or stressed. It is normal for younger children to have tantrums sometimes, while older children may sometimes shout, storm out or lash out.

When we talk about 'challenging behaviour', we mean behaviours that are persistent and difficult for both you and your child to manage. This includes things like:

Having lots of angry outbursts

Regularly shouting, swearing and being very argumentative

Frequently hitting, biting or kicking others

Kicking, smashing or damaging things in their home or school

Being unkind or bullying towards other family members or children

Persistently getting into trouble at school.

How can I talk to my child about their behaviour?

Your child's behaviour is a communication about how they're feeling. When your child is acting out, it can be useful to think of an iceberg. The difficult behaviour is the tip, but there are likely to be a range of emotions hidden under the surface.

By opening up a conversation with your child, you can find out more about how they're feeling and what's going on for them.

Find a suitable time and place to talk. Your child might find it easier to talk if you start the conversation while doing an activity. Have a look at our list of activities for some ideas.

Make it clear that the behaviour is the problem, and not them. Let them know that it's okay to feel however they feel, whether that's sad, angry, worried or something else, and that you can work together to find new ways of managing these feelings.

Explain why the behaviour is not okay so they understand. For example, you might say that while it's normal to feel angry, it hurts other people when they hit.

Be curious, empathetic and non-judgmental. Focus on listening and trying to understand things from their perspective.

Use simple phrases such as 'I notice there is a lot of shouting happening', 'I think something might be upsetting you', 'I feel worried you're not happy', and 'I need you to know you can talk to me about what's going on'.

Reassure them that you love them and want to help them feel happier and enjoy things again.

How can I help my child?

Set clear boundaries and routines, and stick to these as much as you can. You could do this by creating a family agreement covering things like screen-time limits, family meals and times for getting up and going to bed.

Follow through on consequences. Your child may respond better if you give a warning before the consequence, so they have an opportunity to change their behaviour. After the consequence has been given, it's important to chat together about what happened and return to positive interactions.

Give your child positive praise. Notice and encourage them when they demonstrate the kinds of behaviours you have asked for, and be specific about why you're praising them.

Talk together about activities that help them to express their feelings and calm down. This might be drawing or painting, doing something active like running, jumping or their favourite sport, reading a book, writing a story, baking or making something out of playdough or Lego.

Help your child understand their feelings. When you are curious about your child's feelings, this helps them understand and find words to describe them. You can also help them think about the signs that let them know they might be about to 'blow their top' - such as feeling hot, muscles clenching or breathing more heavily.

Try to stay calm. You may feel frustrated, angry or overwhelmed when your child is behaving in challenging ways - and this is completely normal. Try not to react or argue back when things are like this. Give yourself and your child a chance to have some space before you talk about it.

Spend quality time with your child. Find things you can enjoy together - such as going to the park, playing a board game, cooking something or watching a favourite film. As a parent you will often be juggling different things, so try to set aside time when you can be really present with your child.

Talk to your child's school. Share your concerns with their teacher and find out what their experience is. How does your child behave at school? Is it similar or different to the way they behave at home? If your child's teacher has found something that works, it may be helpful to try it at home to provide consistency.

Finding professional help

Counselling and therapy

If your child needs support to help them understand and manage their feelings, they may benefit from seeing a counsellor or therapist. Therapists working with younger children will usually do this through play and arts activities such as painting, drawing and making things.

You can ask your GP to refer your child for counselling or therapy, either through the NHS or another local service.

You may be able to access free or subsidised counselling through your child's school. You can talk to your child's teacher or another member of staff to find out what's available, and ask them to make a referral.

You can search online for free counselling services in your area, and the Youth Access directory can help you do this.

If it's an affordable option, you can find a private counsellor, therapist or family therapist using the directories listed in our guide.

Getting support from your child's school
As well as counselling, there may be other services provided by your child's school that can help, such as mentoring, learning support, peer buddying and clubs and activities. Be open with the school about what's going on and ask what support they can provide.

Speaking to your GP
If you're worried about your child's mental health or wellbeing, you can speak to your GP (with or without your child) about next steps and finding support. Together you can discuss whether referral to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) and/or an assessment by a mental health specialist is needed.
Identifying additional needs
Sometimes, challenging behaviour can be a sign of an additional need or developmental difficulty - such as autism or difficulties hearing or speaking - which your child may need specialist help with. If you think this could be the case, speak to your GP or your child's teacher to discuss whether your child needs a referral for further assessment.

More information and advice

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Parents Guide To Support - Challenging behaviour

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In this guide we provide information and strategies for parents of primary aged children. Some suggestions may also feel appropriate for older children and young people. Just like us, children behave differently at different times. Feeling upset, sad, cross, frustrated and lots of other kinds of emotions is a normal and healthy part of their life.

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Anger

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Everyone feels angry sometimes, and this is a normal and healthy reaction when things go wrong, life feels unfair, we get overwhelmed, or people upset and hurt us. Anger can act as a positive force for change, letting us know that something is wrong or not okay with us.

Anger can start to become a problem for your child if it is overwhelming or unmanageable, making them unhappy, or being expressed through unhelpful or destructive behaviours - either towards themselves or other people.

Angry feelings and aggressive behaviour can be really hard to deal with as a parent, and can have a big effect on family life. But there are things you can do to make the situation better, and places where you can find support.

How can I respond when my child gets angry?

Try to separate your child's feelings from their behaviour, remembering that all feelings are okay, even though some behaviour is not. Make it clear that you're not dismissing their anger by letting them know that it's okay to feel however they feel, and that it's normal to feel angry sometimes.

Try not to get angry yourself, as this will only escalate the situation. Focus on keeping a calm manner, neutral voice and open body language - for example, not folding your arms.

Avoid asking them lots of questions when they're feeling very angry or distressed. Acknowledge that they're feeling angry, and let them know that you'd like to talk with them about what's going on when they feel ready.

If it feels appropriate, offer them some time and space to calm down. Especially with older teenagers, sometimes just having half an hour to listen to some music, go for a walk or do an activity they enjoy can help them feel calmer - making it more possible to have a conversation about what's making them feel this way.

If you need to, explain why their behaviour is not okay so they understand - and hold consistent boundaries around consequences. For example, you might say that while it's normal to feel angry, it's not okay when they shout at you. Remember that while your child might resist boundaries and consequences, they can actually help them to feel safe, contained and cared for.

Once things have calmed down, try to open up a conversation about what's going on. A young person's anger can boil over for all sorts of reasons - and sometimes there might be other feelings such as stress, sadness, hurt or worry underneath it. A person who's feeling angry a lot of time probably isn't feeling very happy - and while it might not be obvious, what they often need is support. You can find our tips on starting a conversation with your child here.

How can I help my child to manage their anger?

Try to open up a conversation about what's going on. If your child doesn't know why they are feeling angry, think together about what might be causing these feelings. You might begin by saying that you have noticed they don't seem happy, and you're wondering if anything is worrying them or stressing them out. You can find more tips on starting a conversation with your child here.

If your child is prepared to talk, focus at first on listening to them and empathising with how they're feeling. Anger can be a difficult topic for young people to talk about, so reassure them that it's normal to feel angry sometimes, and that you're glad they're sharing these feelings with you.

Stick to consistent boundaries and rules around their behaviour. When young people are angry they can also feel frightened about how out of control things seem. While they might not like it, they do need stability and consistency from you.

Help them to recognise the patterns around when and how they get angry. Think together about what triggers their anger, and whether there are things that would help them to realise this is happening before situations become overwhelming.

Support them to find ways of channelling their anger and calming down. This could be as simple as taking deep breaths, or listening to music. It might also help to do something physical like playing sport, running or going for a walk, or to do another activity they enjoy - whether it's painting, colouring, reading or skateboarding. Some young people like to find creative ways of expressing their feelings, for example by drawing, writing it down, writing poems or keeping a journal.

Give yourself and your child some time for things to get better. Things don't always change straightaway, and sometimes young people just need their parents to notice and acknowledge that things are hard for them.

Young people tell us it helps to

Think of the bigger picture: will this bother you in a year?

Try and say why you're angry, and remember that time alone to calm yourself down is okay.

Take some time to think about how your actions are affecting others, and try to remember people are usually trying to help you!

Apologise if you have harmed someone - and if you have hurt yourself, apologise to yourself.

Figure out why you reacted like that so you can recognise it next time before it's too late.

Tell someone if they've made you angry, or talk to someone else about it.

Remind yourself that the emotion is valid.

How can I respond to aggression and violence?

When a young person is really angry and is struggling to manage this feeling, they can be verbally or physically aggressive, or violent. Sometimes you might not feel safe, and if this is the case it's important that you reach out for help.

In these situations:

If it is safe for you and your child, remove yourself and any other family members from the room.

If not safe to remove yourself, and you feel that you or anyone else is at immediate risk of harm, warn your child that if the aggression does not stop you will need to contact the police. Follow through and call the police if the aggression continues and you do not feel safe.

Calling the police in a situation that involves your child is an incredibly difficult thing for any parent to have to do. But if your safety, or the safety of other family members, is in question, this may be the only course of action.

A young person who is behaving in this way may need professional support to help them understand, and find ways of coping with, their anger. It's a good idea to speak to a professional if your child's anger is at this stage, and you can find out who to speak to below.

Where can I find professional help?

GP and Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS)
It's a good idea to speak to your GP if your child's anger has been going on for a while, and it is negatively affecting their day-to-day life, wellbeing or relationships. You may also be concerned that their anger is part of a bigger struggle they are having with their mental health.

Speaking to your GP is usually the first step to accessing mental health services and support. Together you can discuss whether referral to CAMHS, an assessment by a mental health specialist or referral for another kind of support is needed. You can speak to your GP with or without your child.
Counselling and therapy
Counsellors and therapists can provide emotional support and help your child to make sense of, and find ways to cope with, their anger.

You can find local counselling and therapy services by:

Speaking to your GP

Asking your child's school whether they provide a free or subsidised counselling service, and whether they can make a referral for your child

Searching online for free counselling services in your area, and/or using the Youth Access directory to do this

Finding a private counsellor, therapist or family therapist using the directories listed in our guide

Emotional support services
If your child needs to talk and they would find it helpful to open up to someone outside of the family, let them know about the phone, webchat, email and text support they can access from the services listed at the end of this guide.

More information and advice

If you have a younger child, and you need support to respond their behaviour, you can find our advice and strategies here.

If you need support to start a conversation with your child about what's going on, you can find lots of tips here.

If you have a teenager who's struggling with anger, they may find it helpful to hear about other young people's experiences.

If your child has a developmental issue or disability and is struggling to manage their anger, organisations such as the National Autistic Society and Contact can provide advice to help you support them.

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Everyone feels angry sometimes, and this is a normal and healthy reaction when things go wrong, life feels unfair, we get overwhelmed, or people upset and hurt us. Anger can act as a positive force for change, letting us know that something is wrong or not okay with us.

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Going through different emotions is part of life. We all feel sad or low sometimes, and this can be a natural and appropriate response to what's happening around us. Often, the passing of time and support from people we're close to can help things feel better again.

When a young person is feeling depressed, sadness and low feelings do not change or go away with time. These feelings can become overwhelming and stop them from doing or enjoying things they normally would.

Knowing that your child is experiencing this can be incredibly worrying or distressing as a parent. Remember that lots of young people go through depression, it's possible for your child to come out the other side and feel okay again, and there are places where you and your child can find support.

What are the symptoms of depression?

While every young person is different and will express their feelings differently, your child may be feeling depressed if they are:

withdrawing, or avoiding friends or social situations

finding it hard to concentrate, or losing interest in schoolwork

not wanting to do things they previously enjoyed

feeling irritable or angry

feeling tearful, miserable, lonely or hopeless

feeling empty or numb

being very self-critical

sleeping more or less than normal

eating more or less than normal

feeling tired or not having any energy

wanting to self-harm

How can I help my child?

Try to open up a conversation about what's going on. You might start by letting them know that you've noticed they don't seem very happy at the moment, voicing your concerns in a caring and non-judgmental way. You can find more tips on starting a conversation with your child here.

Listen and provide emotional support. Try not to ask too many questions, come up with quick solutions or gloss over their sadness. Empathise with how they're feeling - letting them know they can talk to you as often and for as long as they need to.

Try again another day if they don't want to talk. Finding it difficult to talk or reach out is often a part of feeling low or depressed - and it can be especially difficult for young people to talk about these kinds of feelings. Let them know you're there when they're ready to talk.

Think together about whether there's anything in particular that's making them feel this way. This could include a problem with a friendship or family relationship, feeling bullied or left-out at school, feeling overwhelmed by school work, struggling with a change such as divorce or separation in the family, or a combination of things. Are there changes that could be made at home or school that would make things easier?

If they don't feel able to talk to you, encourage them to speak to someone else - while reassuring them that you'll still be there. Let them know about the phone, webchat, email and text support they can access from the services listed at the end of this guide.

Support them to keep routines, activities and connections with other people going as much as possible. Make opportunities for seeing friends and family, and encourage them to do the things they enjoy - whether that's exercising, listening to music, doing something creative like colouring or drawing, watching a favourite film, reading a favourite book or going for a walk with you.

Help them to do the daily things that support our wellbeing. This includes getting up at a regular time, eating regular meals, doing exercise, drinking water, spending quality time with loved ones and getting enough sleep.

Reassure them. Let them know you love them, these feelings won't last forever, and that you can find support to help things feel better.

Don't ignore worrying signs, hoping they'll go away. Trust your gut feeling - you know when something's just not right.

Seek professional help if you're worried about your child's mental health. Some children and young people will need professional and specialist help to feel better. They may benefit from a specific diagnosis or a treatment such as talking therapy. You can find more information about this below.

Young people's advice for others going through this:

Speak to your doctor or a trusted adult about how you're feeling.

Don't be afraid to cry, especially if you're male - it helps to release emotions and you'll feel better afterwards.

I've found that identifying behaviours that aren't beneficial to you, like endlessly scrolling through Instagram before bed and sleeping late, can be really helpful. It's hard to force good habits, but it can do wonders for your overall mood.

Try to keep going outside, even if it's just a short walk, it can really help your mood to lift.

Find a distraction technique - we all have different ones; it could be jogging, music, art, reading etc.

Realise that how you're feeling won't last forever and there's always something to look forward to.

Where can I find professional help?

GP and Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS)
Speaking to your GP is usually the first step to accessing mental health services. Together you can discuss whether referral to CAMHS, an assessment by a mental health specialist or referral for another kind of support is needed. You can speak to your GP with or without your child.

The type of support or treatment offered will depend on your child's age and what they are experiencing. The most common type of talking therapy offered by the NHS is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which can help your child to understand their thoughts and feelings and to find practical strategies to help them cope.
Counselling and therapy
Counsellors and therapists can provide emotional support and help your child to make sense of, and find ways to cope with, their feelings.

You can find local counselling and therapy services by:

Speaking to your GP

Asking your child's school whether they provide a free or subsidised counselling service, and whether they can make a referral for your child

Searching online for free counselling services in your area, and/or using the Youth Access directory to do this

Finding a private counsellor, therapist or family therapist using the directories listed in our guide

Your child's school
If your child is struggling, it can help to be open with the school about what's going on and what support your child needs. Depending on their age, it may be important to make sure your child feels some control over the information that's shared about them - for example by discussing with them who they would feel comfortable for you to speak to.

Alongside counselling, schools can often provide support from the pastoral team, a member of staff who your child can chat to when they need to, mentoring, peer buddying and clubs and activities.

If your child is struggling to go to school, you can also discuss whether a more flexible timetable or other strategies would help.

Depression and suicidal thoughts

Some young people who are depressed can think about, speak of or attempt suicide. If you are worried about this, seek urgent professional advice from your GP or the mental health professionals supporting your child. If needed, you can ask for an on-the-day appointment with your GP, and you can speak to them yourself if your child does not want to go to an appointment.

If your child experiences a mental health crisis, seek urgent professional support:

If you are worried that your child is at immediate risk of harm or cannot keep themselves safe, or they have already been injured, call 999 or take them to A&E.

If the situation is not life threatening and a health professional such as a GP has already given you a crisis number to call in this situation, call this number.

Or, if your child is already under the care of CAMHS or another mental health team and they have a crisis plan that states who to contact in this situation, follow this plan.

You can also call your local NHS mental health helpline or 111 anytime for urgent advice about what to do next.

If you need advice around supporting and responding to your child when they're experiencing suicidal thoughts, you can find this on the Prevention of Young Suicide (PAPYRUS) website. You can also contact their HOPELINE to speak to an advisor over phone or email.

More information and advice

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Supporting Your Child With Depression and Low Mood

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Going through different emotions is part of life. We all feel sad or low sometimes, and this can be a natural and appropriate response to what's happening around us. Often, the passing of time and support from people we're close to can help things feel better again.

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We all work with kids who worry or struggle to gain control over their thoughts in the moment. While we can work over a longer period of time to help kids examine and restructure their thoughts, we need to also give them the tools to interrupt those thoughts in the moment! Grounding techniques are a powerful tool to help kids to connect to the here and now and interrupt spiraling worries. Keep reading to check out 10 of my favorite grounding exercises to help kids manage worry and anxiety.

Help Kids Manage Worry with These 10 Grounding Exercises

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Senses

This grounding exercise is a great go-to for kids. All they need for this exercise is their senses! Have students practice identifying:

5 things you see

4 things you hear

3 things you smell

2 things you can touch

1 thing you taste

Some people swap the final 2, and that works too! I find especially with younger students that identifying 2 things they taste in the moment can be tricky ("but I'm not eating!") so I have them do just 1 taste identification.

2. 5-4-3-2-1 Sights

If noticing each sense is tough for your student right now, try an exercise just with sights. Create categories and have students name what they see. Here's an example:

3. A-B-C Around the Room

This exercise will get students connected with that place where they are right now. Have your student look around the room and name something they see that starts with A, then B, then C and so forth. See how far they can get through the alphabet and then check-in to see how they're feeling once they reach the end.

4. Be a Tree

There's nothing more grounded than a tree! Teach your student to feel his or her connection with the ground by imaging him/herself as a tree. This sounds like, "I am firmly planted. I feel my feet rooted to the ground. My back is a strong trunk helping me feel stable in the moment. I feel my toes connecting with the ground. My arms are my branches. I feel them reach out into the world." Simply noticing their bodies and feeling their connection with the room helps kids feel grounded!

5. Power Hug

Firm pressure is great for grounding. Help students create an affirming statement to use for this exercise. It could be something like, "I am in control," or "I am safe in this moment." Practice placing the left hand on the right shoulder for a tap and then the right hand on the left shoulder for another tap. Then squeeze into a hug and say the affirmation. Tap, tap, squeeze, affirm. Tap, tap, squeeze, affirm. Repeat this as many times as needed!

6. Object Focus

Keep some unique items on hand with different textures and colors. These could be sensory items, colorful rocks, snow globes or something else. Students can hold an item in their hands and tune in all of their focus to the item. Notice the colors. Notice the textures. How does it feel in my hand? How does it feel when I squeeze it? What colors do I see? Just notice everything there is to notice about the item!

7. I am Here Hand Trace

For this exercise, you'll need paper and a pencil, marker, or crayon. Students will trace a hand on the paper. You can take this a few different directions. Students can simply press the hand into the space on the paper and feel the connection between hand and table. Or they can use the space inside the hand to write things they see or describe the room.

8. Reorientation

To re-orient to the moment, just have students name facts about the moment. You can give them a card to keep with them to remind them of facts they can state and practice practice practice! It might sound like:

9. Stomp Stomp Blow

For an active grounding exercise, have students stomp the left foot, stomp the right foot and then exhale deeply. Continue this pattern of stomp, stomp, blow, stomp, stomp, blow, stomp, stomp, blow. Feel the connection of feet with the floor. Blow away anxious thoughts.

10. Room Search

Pick one broad category and search the room. Name everything in the room that's green. How many stars can you find in the room? Say the type of shoe everyone in the room is wearing. Count the bricks on one wall.

How do you help kids manage worry?

Grounding is a powerful way to interrupt anxious thoughts in the moment! Give your kids who worry a chance to practice each one and see which one works for them. What strategies do you teach your kids? Do you have a favorite grounding technique that wasn't mentioned here? Leave it in the comments below so I can give it a try!

Resources to help kids manage worry:
Worry Workbook for Kids Worry Small Group Counseling Curriculum

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Help Kids Manage Worry with These 10 Grounding Exercises

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We all work with kids who worry or struggle to gain control over their thoughts in the moment. While we can work over a longer period of time to help kids examine and restructure their thoughts, we need to also give them the tools to interrupt those thoughts in the moment!

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Advice for parents and carers of primary school children

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Advice for parents and carers of primary school pupils | Talking mental health primary school | Anna Freud Centre

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This leaflet which was created alongside the Talking Mental Health Animation & Toolkit features an introduction from our Patron, Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge who supported the You're never too young to talk mental health campaign

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CAMHS Back to school Resource pack for Parents - second edition 2021

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After being off school for so long, it is only natural that many young people will be worried about returning to school.

Here are some tips from our Parents Helpline team on how you can support your child to transition back to school life:

Talk to your child about how they are feeling about going back to school and try not to make assumptions. Ask them if they are worried or feel scared about anything, but also if they are excited about or looking forward to something. No matter how your child feels, let them know that it is completely normal to feel a mixture of emotions and that everyone will be in the same boat. Have a look at more advice on starting a conversation with your child.

Provide your child with as much information about their new routine and school day as you can. This will help them to prepare for any changes that have been made to the timings of their day, the layout of their classroom, their peer groups and playtimes. For younger children, it can be really helpful for them to visualise these changes - so ask your child's school if they can send any pictures to help make things feel more familiar.

Reassure your child. During the lockdown we have been told to stay at home, remain socially distant from others and wash our hands regularly. This means children may find it difficult to go back to school because it will be a huge change from what they have been asked to do during the pandemic. Talk with your child about ways they can stay safe at school, such as washing their hands before and after eating, and reassure them that the school are putting measures in place to keep them safe.

Re-establish a routine to help ease into school life. During lockdown it is understandable that your family's routine may have changed. Children are likely to have been waking up later or going to bed later. To help them get ready for school, try to gradually get them back into their usual morning and bedtime routines as they get closer to their return date.

Don't put pressure on yourself. The transition back into school is likely to take some time. Lots of children will experience ups and downs. Try your best to support, reassure and comfort them, without putting pressure on yourself to make sure their homework is done or they settle into a new routine straightaway.

Think ahead. As well as reflecting on what has happened during the past few weeks, it is important to help children develop hope and a sense of excitement for the future. At a time like this, it can be hard to feel positive, but identifying the things that they can look forward to will help them to realise that the current situation won't last forever and their feelings will change.

Seek support if you need it. Transitioning back to school after being in lockdown is no easy task. You may find that your child struggles to get back into school or experiences difficulties while they're at school. If this is the case, reach out to your child's school as soon as you can so that you can make them aware of the challenges and work together to support your child. If you are concerned about your child's mental health and you think they need professional support, speak to the school and your GP about the best next step.

More information and advice on supporting your child at school

For more information and advice on supporting your child at school, take a look at our tips for working with your child's school.

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Supporting a child returning to school after lockdown

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After being off school for so long, it is only natural that many young people will be worried about returning to school. Here are some tips from our Parents Helpline team on how you can support your child to transition back to school life: Talk to your child about how they are feeling about going back to school and try not to make assumptions.

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Expert tips for settling your child into school 

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Expert tips for settling your child into school 

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Expert tips on settling your child into school | TheSchoolRun

Antonia Chitty, author of 'What To Do When Your Child Hates School', gives her best advice on settling your child at school.

The early days at school can be stressful for parents and children. Don't despair - there are things you can do to make it easier. Try these six quick tips:

Start by chatting about school in general terms. Point out other children on their way to school and read stories about going to school. Your local library will have some if you ask the children's librarian.

Next, get your child involved in choosing their uniform. Take the opportunity to ask them open questions about school - you might get some interesting insights into their hopes and fears.

Practise getting the uniform off and on, so that your child can cope when changing for sports. Choose clothes and shoes with simple fastenings.

Many children are worried about school lunches. Ask for the menu in advance and talk about how fun it will be eating with your child's new friends. If your child has packed lunches, pack them together.

Most schools settle new children into Reception gradually, offering short days or mornings to start. If you feel your child won't keep up with the schedule offered, ask the school if you can collect them early.

Get to know your child's teacher well right from the beginning, and let them know if there are any issues that are worrying you.

Dealing with separation anxiety

If your child struggles when you try to leave them at school, there are a couple of options. The simplest one - which may be toughest - is to say goodbye firmly and cheerfully and leave your child at school as planned. The majority of four and five year olds will settle within minutes. You can phone the school later to check.

If after the first few days or weeks your child still isn't happy at being left at school, make an appointment to talk to the teacher. She may have a range of strategies to suggest. For example, some parents and children find it helpful if the parent stays for longer in the mornings.

As well as talking to the teacher, listen to your child. When my daughter started school I'd ask her a couple of questions after each session, "What was good at school today?" and "Was there anything not so good about school?" If you find the same issues are coming up every day, mention them to the teacher.

Help for the youngest in the year

Some children are just not ready to start school with their peers. Many local authorities now offer part time nursery places for children from three and Reception places after their fourth birthday. If all children start in September, some of those with summer birthdays may find it hard to keep up.

If you have concerns about your child's readiness for school, it's still important to fill in school application forms at the same time as everyone else. Once you have been offered a place, request that your child starts later in the school year, and the local authority should keep their place open for them. Ask for this to be confirmed in writing, and remember that children must start education the term after their fifth birthday.

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Expert tips on settling your child into school

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Expert tips on settling your child into school | TheSchoolRun Antonia Chitty, author of 'What To Do When Your Child Hates School', gives her best advice on settling your child at school. The early days at school can be stressful for parents and children.

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Details
A3 sized PDF poster - revision 1.0, published 2015
Description

The iPad, combined with appropriate apps, is an ideal device to support, foster and engage creative thinking, collaboration, interactivity, and learning. With its front and back facing cameras, microphone, and portability, it is an engaging creative tool, even for the less creative among us.

With a bit of imagination the iPad can become an art canvas, an animation tool, a live instrument, a music studio, a video editing suite, and much more!

The option to add external devices (via Bluetooth and/or the Apple Camera USB Connection Adaptor) means the iPad can link to a guitar, a digital piano, synthesisers and other 'controllers'. The iPad can also offer an alternative means of recording, writing and presenting classwork, particularly useful for those pupils who find traditional methods of writing and reading challenging.

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The iPad, combined with appropriate apps, is an ideal device to support, foster and engage creative thinking, collaboration, interactivity, and learning. With its front and back facing cameras, microphone, and portability, it is an engaging creative tool, even for the less creative among us. With ...

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he closure of schools across the UK has left many parents and carers in the sudden, unexpected position of being home-school teachers. Schools are providing support where they can, but there are also still plenty of smartphone and tablet apps that can be used as part of learning.

It may be tricky to get some children to see these devices as good for more than TikTok, Fortnite and (adult) YouTube, but the positive side is that the best learning apps are interesting enough to - perhaps with an initial nudge - engage children. Here are 20 apps that may get parents off to a good start. The "younger children" apps are most suitable for preschool and early primary kids, while the "older children" apps are more for later primary and early secondary age.

For younger children

Go Explore from CBeebies

Khan Academy Kids

Montessori Preschool

Hopster

( Android/ Apple/ Amazon - subscription)
British company Hopster describes its app as "educational kids' TV". What that means is a collection of familiar cartoons and shows including the likes of Sesame Street, Bob the Builder, Thomas the Tank Engine, Fireman Sam and Pingu, accompanied by fun learning games on topics such as maths and phonics. It will even remind kids not to binge on too many episodes in a row. It costs £4.99 a month.

Teach Your Monster to Read

World of Peppa Pig

YouTube Kids

Mental Maths 5-6

( Apple - £3.99)
It's been out for a few years, but this is still one of the best maths apps for children that feels genuinely educational. It's built around a range of maths exercises and progress tests. Separate versions cover children up to the age of 11, and there's a spelling series, too.

Dr Seuss's ABC: AR Version

For older children

King of Maths: Maths Learner

Google Arts & Culture

Mimo

Elevate: Brain Training

( Android/ Apple - subscription)
Elevate is one of a clutch of quality brain-training apps (see also: Peak or Lumosity) full of mini-games designed to sharpen your memory, maths skills, focus and other mental skills. Like those other apps, it uses a subscription - £38.99 a year - but with a week's trial to test it out.

Simply Piano

Women Who Changed the World

Duolingo

Kahoot!

TED

Swift Playgrounds

( Apple - free)
Swift is Apple's own programming language, and Swift Playgrounds is its app for teaching people how to use it. It's for adults as well as children, but it's certainly accessible for the latter, with its lessons presented as coding puzzles that will give people the skills needed to start making their own apps and games. It's on Apple's iPad, but not (yet) its iPhone.

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he closure of schools across the UK has left many parents and carers in the sudden, unexpected position of being home-school teachers. Schools are providing support where they can, but there are also still plenty of smartphone and tablet apps that can be used as part of learning.

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10 Best Apps educational apps

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The ten best educational apps | The Good Schools Guide

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Sal McKeown brings you the best educational apps to help your children get ahead in school.

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Help children to learn about the world around them and develop key skills with these primary school apps for KS1 and KS2. Educational App Store have picked the best apps (iPad and Android) aimed at primary and elementary school children, aged 3-12.

Learning to read can be a pleasure with the right selection of books and for many children, this was the Dr. Seuss books. Today's children can improve their reading fluency and develop a joy in reading by engaging with all of these books, in an enhanced form, in the official app.

Devices: iPhone iPad

The Night Zookeeper is an easy to use, child-friendly platform based around a series of magical storybooks. This online platform is designed to inspire and help primary school children (6 to 12 years of age) with their creative writing as well as teaching them about grammar, spelling, vocabulary, writing skills and drawing through a series of lessons and games.

Devices:

Children are frequently encouraged to learn their multiplication tables. Daily practise using different approaches is the best way to do this and Moji Multi is a free app that provides a good learning experience ideal for this little-and-often approach.

Devices: iPhone iPad

On second thought app is an easy to use, a child-friendly platform for use with children who may be experiencing Anxiety symptoms, behavioural and emotional difficulties, automatic negative thoughts, and irrational beliefs. The application is free from in-app adverts and provides in-app purchases for further content. The application is available on the iOS, Android, Mac, Windows and SMART Technology platforms and suitable for ages primary (7 to 11). The program was written by Dr.Teresa Busto licensed Psychologist in collaboration with Paula Busto, based on the work of Dr.Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck and David Burns. These concepts have been turned into a child-friendly program containing activities and real-life situations.

Devices: Android iPhone iPad , Windows

Dyslexia Gold improves reading fluency, speed and comprehension. It increases reading age by over 12 months. Their fun, effective & unique programs help children learn to improve: Reading with Engaging Eyes and Fluency Builder, master Spelling and Times Tables. Dyslexia Gold addresses underlying problems that cause reading difficulties. We address vision problems to stop your child from skipping lines and words. And auditory problems so your child can hear that goat is made up of 3 sounds g - oa - t. The program is suitable for children aged 6-15. You can choose US or UK spelling and works on any PC or laptop with sound - Windows or Mac. Dyslexia Gold is used in over 250 schools and by thousands of parents.

Devices: Web

Duolingo ABC is a free app helps young children learn to read with 300 different lessons, like assisted reading, decoding, and sight words. It uses letter tracing, interactive storytelling, and other activities to teach kids ages 4 and up phonics, reading comprehension, and more.

Devices: iPhone iPad

Even in a world where software and apps are being increasingly used, printed material still plays a major role. Not everyone can easily access text in books, worksheets, newspapers, journals, and magazines. Prizmo Go captures printed text from saved photographs or a device's camera so that it can process them and make them accessible to its built-in text reader as well as to other software.

Devices: iPhone iPad

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Help children to learn about the world around them and develop key skills with these primary school apps for KS1 and KS2. Educational App Store have picked the best apps (iPad and Android) aimed at primary and elementary school children, aged 3-12.

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With a library of activities and resources for every stage of the learning journey, curated by the team at Oxford University Press, we are here with inspiration to help your little ones learn, grow and flourish at home, in the classroom and beyond.

Just click on the sections in the menu to explore by subject, or use the options below to uncover content by age group.

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Oxford Owl for Home: help your child learn at home - Oxford Owl

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Oxford Owl is packed with expert advice, tips and activities to help parents support their child's education. Help your child with reading, phonics and maths.

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Reading of classic books (USA)

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Now Featuring Anne Of Green Gables!

With these uncertain times, we are introducing Lesson Plans that include educational tools to help you learn while you're at home. Each lesson plan will consist of critical thinking questions, chapter recap quizzes, puzzles and more. Our goal is to help you continue to learn during these tough times.

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With these uncertain times, we are introducing Lesson Plans that include educational tools to help you learn while you're at home. Each lesson plan will consist of critical thinking questions, chapter recap quizzes, puzzles and more. Our goal is to help you continue to learn during these tough times.

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The Book Trust

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Stories for children online and lots of games to play

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Stories for children online and lots of games to play

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Here you can find lots of lovely interactive books to read online or watch with signing.

There are classic children's stories that we think you and your family will love, including Hairy Maclary from Donaldson's Dairy by Lynley Dodd to Owl Babies by Martin Waddell and Patrick Benson, along with newer favourites such as Chris Haughton's Oh No, George! and Everybunny Dance! by Ellie Sandall.
Our storybooks and games are free to use, however some older devices aren't able to support them. You can also watch our Storytime playlist on YouTube read by the likes of Ore Oduba, Adam Buxton, Fearne Cotton and many more.
We also have lots of free online games for children to enjoy. Whether you're after number games, puzzle games, colouring or interactive storybooks, there are lots of fun activities to try!

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Stories for kids online and fun games to play

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Find kids' books to read online for free, including classic children's stories like Hairy Maclary and Owl Babies, and play our fun online games - from number games to colouring.

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Maths home learning | Home learning | White Rose Maths

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View all of our maths ‘home learning’ lessons and videos for early years through to Year 11. View our Maths resources from White Rose Maths.

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Assistant Headteacher, KS2 leader and parent Emma Johnson shares the best fun maths games and maths activities for kids to play at home.
All these educational games are suitable for Key Stage 2 (KS2) children and most of them can be adapted for Key Stage 1 (KS1).

This blog is part of our series of blogs designed for teachers, schools and parents supporting home learning.

As well as providing some family fun, these maths games for kids have the added advantage of presenting learning opportunities in a way that means that children may not even realise they're learning!

They are also fun way to practise a wide range of KS1 and KS2 mathematical skills, such as counting, place value, times tables and much much more.

Time is scarce as a parent, but it's important to make time for maths games & activities with your child!

We all know how rushed life can be and we can sometimes feel guilty we aren't spending enough time supporting our children with their learning at home.

Now you can! Here you've got:

If you're a teacher or you have a specific age group in mind you might also like to take a look at our collections of games specifically chosen for different key stages at school.

So in short, if you're looking for fun maths games, we've got you covered!

3 best indoor maths games your kids can play at home

On rainy days, days off school or, during enforced periods of home schooling due to lockdowns, it can be hard to persuade children to practise their maths, but these activities should have your child enjoying maths at home in no time at all!

This game is a simple at home version of the TV favourite and can be played with any number of players.
What you need to play: How to play:
Each card can only be used once and the winner is the first person to reach the total, or the player who is closest after a set length of time.

The game can be adapted for younger children, by choosing the numbers on the cards carefully and having them aiming to reach a 2-digit number, rather than a 3-digit number.

Indoor maths game 2: Salute

This simple game is all about bringing together verbalisation and maths.
What you need to play: How to play:

Take Salute a step further using numbers up to 20.

Indoor maths game 3: Multiplication Bingo

Bingo is a perennially fun game that can be enjoyed by people of all ages, and this version puts a mathematical twist on this classic game, as a way to boost multiplication skills.
What you need to play: How to play:

Multiplication Bingo using the 5 times table.

3 most fun maths games and activities to do at home

One of the best ways to encourage a child to learn about anything is by making it fun, and that is exactly what these maths games are!

Fun maths game 1: Maths Problem Scavenger Hunt

All children enjoy a scavenger hunt, so why not make one based around maths?
What you need to play How to play:
Fun maths game 2: The Yes/No Game

This is another simple KS2 maths game that is loved by children in classrooms across the country! It's also a good way to get in practice of 2d shapes and 3d shapes, which as parents we can sometimes avoid.
What you need to play: How to play:

How the Yes/No game could play out using a triangle as the subject.

Fun maths game 3: Bang Bang

Bang bang is a great game for practising quick recall facts.
What you need to play: How to play
3 best hands on maths games and activities to do at home

Doing some hands on maths activities with your child is a great way to capture their full attention when you are doing maths at home, and these games have been created to do just that.

Hands on maths game 1: Five To One

This game not only tests children's verbalisation and problem solving skills, but it also brings an element of competition into doing maths at home, and we all know how much children love to 'win'!
What you need to play: How to play:
Hands on maths game 2: The 24 Game

This is a very simple game that will help your child practice their arithmetic skills, and it is a game they can play with a group of friends.
What you need to play:

A pack of playing cards (The number cards only)
How to play:
Hands on maths game 3: 5 Of A Kind

This is a tricky maths card game that will truly put your child's (and maybe even your) maths skills and knowledge to the test. It's a maths game for KS2 children really - you're likely to end up in confusion if you suggest it to a KS1 child.
What you need to play: How to play:
If for example, the player chose a 5. They would then need to use one or more of the cards to find the answer 1, 2, 3...... To make 1, they could do 5 ÷ 5, to make 2 they could do (5 ÷ 5) + (5 ÷ 5) etc....

An example slide from a Third Space lesson on ordinal numbers; tutor & child work through these type of activities together to help practise and embed mathematical knowledge.

3 best outdoor maths games and activities to do at home

Whether you realise it or not, the great outdoors and maths go hand in hand, and these outdoor maths games and activities should serve as inspiration about how you can help your child learn maths while outdoors!

Outdoor maths game 1: Life Size Board Games

Board games are a fun way to spend time with the family, but have you ever thought about actually becoming part of the board game?

To help your child learn maths outside, you can easily make a life size board game and become the characters in the game.
What you need to play:

Paper plates (or even just sheets of paper will do)

A large dice (or a cube shaped box which can be made into a dice)

A dose of creativity!

How to play:
Outdoor maths game 2: Multiplication Hopscotch

Everyone knows how to play hopscotch, but by introducing maths into the mix you can take this traditional playground game to the next level.
What you need to play: How to play:
The other great thing about this game is this can be done with one person, or if friends are visiting everyone can join in and have a go.

Outdoor maths game 3: Telling The Time Activity

Time is one of those things many children find tricky, but this game will help your child tackle this topic.
What you need to play: How to play:
More fun maths for kids

3 fun maths dice games to play at home

Whilst some classroom resources may be a little hard to come by at home, most family homes have a dice or two lying around. With most board games coming prepackaged with a dice, dig them out of the cupboard and re-purpose them for these fun maths dice games.

And if you can't find one, make one - just draw out the 6 sides of a cube, stick them together, and you're ready to go. Try to get your opposite sides adding up to 7 as on the real thing.

Dice maths game 1: Skunk

This is the perfect game to teach your child all about probability, and whilst it seems like it would be easy to win, your child will soon find out that this isn't the case...
What you need to play: How to play
Dice maths game 2: The Pig Dice Game

This game is similar to the skunk game, but there only needs to be one player and one dice. However, even with only one dice things will still get tense!
What you need to play: How to play:
Dice maths game 3: Triangle Tower

This game is a great way to test your child's times tables skills, and it only takes two minutes to set up!
What you need to play: How to play:

Game extension idea
The game can include more challenging multiplication calculations by changing the numbers on the dice.

If one has the numbers 1-6 and the second has the number 7-12, the numbers each player has to choose from are (7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 21, 22, 24, 27, 28, 30, 32, 33, 35, 36, 40, 42, 44, 45, 48, 50, 54, 55, 60, 66 and 72)

Alternatively, both dice marked with the numbers 7 - 12 would give the products 49, 56, 63, 64, 70, 72, 77, 80, 81, 84, 88, 90, 96, 99, 100, 108, 110, 120, 121, 132 and 144.

Read more: The best times tables games for KS1 and KS2 to play at school or home.

3 fun maths card games for kids to play at home

Along with dice, playing cards are one of the most versatile and underused maths resources that can be found in most family homes. Fortunately, these games are here to put an end to that!

Card maths game 1: The Biggest Number

Place value is a crucial skill for children to grasp during primary school, and this simple card game will help them to do that in visual and fun way.
What you need to play: How to play:
If you like this check out our other amazing place value games.

Card maths game 2: First To 100

This simple game is perfect for car journeys or the 10 minutes before dinner, and it will get your children practising their maths skills in a fun and exciting way!
What you need to play: How to play: Game extension idea
A variation on this game can be to start at 100 and keep subtracting until someone gets down to zero.

For older children, instead of adding the cards together, they can be multiplied each time, with the winner being the first to reach 1000.

Card maths game 3: Wild Jack

This is a fast paced maths card game for two or more players, where all eyes will be on the Jacks in the pack...
What you need to play: How to play:
3 best pen and paper maths games and activities to do at home

There is no need for fancy equipment when it comes to these maths game. A pen/pencil and a few sheets of paper are all you need to make maths fun at home!

Pen and paper maths game 1: Battleships

This is a KS2 maths game that most people will be familiar with, but it just so happens to be fantastic practice for coordinates.
What you need to play: How to play:
- One ship five squares long (the aircraft carrier)

- One ship four squares long (the battleship)

- Two ships three squares long (the cruiser and submarine)

- One ship two squares long (the destroyer)

Pen and paper maths game 2: Multiplication 4 In A Row

This game does the impossible, and manages to make learning multiplication facts fun.
What you need to play: How to play:

Pen and paper maths game 3: Dots And Boxes

This maths game is a classic, and the chances are high that some parents out there would have played this themselves when they were at school.

Please note, this game can be played by drawing dots on a page, but it is easier to download square dot paper and print it out.
What you need to play: How to play:
4 car games for kids: Fun road trip maths games for kids

You can put all shouts of "Are we there yettttt....." to bed with these four simple and fun maths games your children can play in the car.

Perfect for those long drives to far flung summer holiday destinations, these maths games have been designed to be very simple so they don't need quite as much detail as the other maths activities in this article!

Road trip maths game 1: Creative Counting

Simple counting games are great for younger children, with lots of opportunities for counting things they see - lorries, red cares, blue signs etc...

This could be made more challenging by changing how many points each is worth, so children could count up in twos or threes etc...

Road trip maths game 2: Guess My Number

This game can be easily adapted for any age.

Think of a number for the children to guess. Players have to ask questions that have a yes or no answer in order to identify the number.

For younger children they could be given a range within which the number falls, they call out a number and are given 'higher' or 'lower until they reach it.

A more challenging version of the game would be to give players a range of clues, e.g. If the number was 50, they could give the clues 'It's an even number'. 'it's divisible by 2, 5, 10 and 25', 'it's equal to two quarters'. You could also require that the questions the children ask are of a similar nature eg 'is the number divisible by 3?' , 'does the number end in a 7' etc.

Road trip maths game 3: Guess My Rule

An alternative to guessing the number, in this game players have to try and guess the rule.

Players give a number whilst the person leading the game applies a mystery rule and tells the players what the new number is.

For example: If the rule is multiply by 10, one player would give the number, e.g. 37 and they would be given the answer once the rule has been applied, so in this instance they would be given the answer of 370.

Road trip maths game 4: The 21 Game

This is a fun strategy game, played with two or more players, who take it in turns to count up from 1.

Each player can call out one, two or three consecutive numbers, before it moves to the next player to carry on counting up.

The player who ends up saying '21' is out of the game. The game then continues, counting back up from 1 to 21, until there is only one person left. They are the winner.

Read more

Maths games are all around us!

There are of course many more simple maths games which can be enjoyed at home, and they are only limited by your creativity.

Hopefully these ideas will give you a starting point, but why not get really creative and create some games of your own! Or if you're looking for more ways to engage children with maths, try Third Space Learning's online maths lessons.

Online 1-to-1 maths lessons trusted by schools and teachers
Every week Third Space Learning's maths specialist tutors support thousands of primary school children with weekly online 1-to-1 lessons and maths interventions. Since 2013 we've helped over 100,000 children become more confident, able mathematicians. Learn more or request a personalised quote to speak to us about your needs and how we can help.

Our online tuition for maths programme provides every child with their own professional one to one maths tutor

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25 Fun Maths Activities And Games For Kids To Do At Home

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Assistant Headteacher, KS2 leader and parent Emma Johnson shares the best fun maths games and maths activities for kids to play at home. All these educational games are suitable for Key Stage 2 (KS2) children and most of them can be adapted for Key Stage 1 (KS1).

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To support parents at home during school closures, we've put together as many of our primary maths resource as we can into free home learning packs and home learning resources for primary school pupils.
Third Space Learning exists to give schools and and teachers the means to help children learn and progress in KS1 and KS2 maths with interventions, teaching resources and maths packs.

Since the onset of Covid-19, and the coronavirus lockdown in the United Kingdom we've turned the experience and expertise we've acquired into providing free home learning packs for parents as well.

The following useful links are all to the free resources from the Third Space Maths Hub. We recommend you post a link to this page on your school website, or just pass it along to your parents so they can download them for themselves. All the resources are suitable for parents of pupils in Key Stage 1 or Key Stage 2 who've been following the KS1 or KS2 national curriculum.

The reason we have chosen these home learning resources is that we believe that parents will find them easy to manage - more practice and retrieval work than teaching - and they are appropriate for children at this stage of the year. Many of our resources follow week by week with the White Rose Maths scheme of work, so we know what stage your pupils are likely to be at in their maths learning.

Our team of teachers making new resources will be hard at work over the next few months creating and adapting resources for the whole school into maths packs and home learning packs that parents will find useful. Please email us hello@thirdspacelearning.com if there's anything you especially need help with.

How to find the home learning packs in the Maths Hub

Access to all our free maths resources is available to all teachers and school staff and parents; all you need is to register for a free Maths Hub account so you can receive our emails.

Please note, you will need to use Google Chrome, Edge or Safari.

If your school already pays for premium access to the Third Space Maths Hub, then, as part of our home learning support, we have now added the functionality for parents to download premium resources too.

All our home learning resources and home learning packs are available in the home learning category of the maths hub.

There are lots more blog posts and suggestions for maths activities for parents moving to online teaching and online learning from our Home Learning hub here including the following guides for helping with maths at home:

Here are your free home learning resource packs.

Code Crackers: Free maths retrieval practice for Year 3 to Year 6

For easy to use, quick, fun retrieval practice, our Code Crackers worksheets are a great way for pupils to recap knowledge on a range of topics from their maths lessons so far this year. The packs and topics created all follow the White Rose Maths scheme of work and like all our resources answers are provided so they should be easy for parents to use. They even include a special maths challenge at the end to keep children motivated to work on their maths skills the whole way through.

Year 6 Home Learning Pack - Maths Lessons

Year 5 Home Learning Pack - Maths Lessons

Year 4 Home Learning Pack - Maths Lessons

Year 3 Home Learning Pack - Maths Lessons

Fluent in Five: Free home learning packs for Arithmetic and Mental Maths

These home learning resources are specifically to help pupils keep up with their arithmetic and mental maths; our Fluent in Five scheme gives pupils between 4 and 6 questions a day to answer, as appropriate for their year group. One week Year 3 may be focusing on their subtraction skills, Year 2 on number bonds, and Year 6 on more complex place value questions. It follows a progression and is a fantastic start to a day's home learning.

Fluent in Five is available for all year groups, with answers included. The questions are presented on powerpoint slides for school whiteboard use but are very suitable to be shown on a tablet. For Years 2 and Year 6 there are SATs assessment type tests included.

Year 6 Arithmetic Worksheets

Year 5 Arithmetic Worksheets

Year 4 Arithmetic Worksheets

Year 3 Arithmetic Worksheets

Year 2 Arithmetic Worksheets

Year 1 Arithmetic Worksheets

Rapid Reasoning: Free home learning packs for reasoning and problem solving questions in maths

Alongside Fluent in Five, Rapid Reasoning provides 3 or 4 daily problem solving tasks. These will work particularly well for home learning maths packs as a modelled answer is provided each week, giving pupils and parents a little more guidance on how to tackle the problems.

Year 6 Reasoning Worksheets

Year 5 Reasoning Worksheets

Year 4 Reasoning Worksheets

Year 3 Reasoning Worksheets

Free times tables home learning packs

If you're looking to support regular times tables practice, we have a times table grid resource pack with instructions for some fun games and activities which pupils and parents can do together and we have some quick fire times tables tests which are a useful way to track children's progress.

Free place value games and activities maths packs

Help a child to understand the concept of place value and what the value of each digit is depending on its position in a number is one of the most useful maths skills you can teach. We've got some KS1 and KS2 place value games here and a very handy worksheet that teachers or parents can use to work through them at home.

Free maths worksheets and tests

We've put together a series of maths worksheets and maths tests with both arithmetic and reasoning questions - that you can use as a regular practice or one off assessment for pupils.

Free home learning resources for Year 6 pupils

Maths Reasoning Questions Year 6

We've got several collections of reasoning and problem solving questions on the most common types of questions for SATs

Year 6 Maths Pack of Worked Examples

For some tricker problem solving challenges for your Year 6 pupils, this resource contains a series of SATs style arithmetic and reasoning questions which have been answered incorrectly.

This resource encourages pupils to find and explain errors, not just focus on finding the correct answer. Detailed mark schemes with explanations of misconceptions are provided, making them ideal for encouraging mathematical discussion between pupils and parents, or alternatively, making it possible for pupils to mark themselves.

SATs Practice Papers

To help your Year 6 pupils prepare and build their confidence ahead of SATs, this set contains two complete practice packs of free SATs papers, each with two reasoning papers and one arithmetic paper. Detailed mark schemes are also included.

These SATs packs are perfect for helping children practise their maths skills, even if they won't be taking SATs.

SATs in Minutes Video Organisers

To provide pupils with examples of SATs problem solving methods which they can work through independently, these organisers each contain links to 20 worked examples videos of SATs questions from reasoning papers from 2016.
We hope you'll find these home learning packs and home learning resources useful. Please do keep an eye on the Third Space Maths Hub as more maths resource packs will be added in the coming weeks.
Online 1-to-1 maths lessons trusted by schools and parents
Every week Third Space Learning's maths specialist tutors support thousands of primary school children with weekly online 1-to-1 lessons. Since 2013 we've helped over 60,000 children become more confident, able mathematicians. In schools the lessons run as part of a successful maths intervention. At home parents use our online maths tutors to support their own children to catch up or make extra progress in maths.

Maths tuition for 5 to 12-year-olds focused on the national curriculum and delivered online

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Free Home Learning Packs For Primary Schools | KS1 KS2 Maths

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To support parents at home during school closures, we've put together as many of our primary maths resource as we can into free home learning packs and home learning resources for primary school pupils. Third Space Learning exists to give schools and and teachers the means to help children learn and progress in KS1 and KS2 maths with interventions, teaching resources and maths packs.

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How best can you support your children outside of school? Whether a parent, carer or home school educator, there are a variety of maths games, activities and puzzles that can be used to support children's mathematical education from home.

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How best can you support your children outside of school? Whether a parent, carer or home school educator, there are a variety of maths games, activities and puzzles that can be used to support children's mathematical education from home.

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Ideas for using the numicon shapes found in the above post 

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Ideas for using the numicon shapes found in the above post 

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Free printable reading and spelling resources, for use by parents, teachers, tutors and those who are homeschooling.

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Words for Life | National Literacy Trust

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Activities and support for parents, children and young people to improve language, literacy and communication skills from home.

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rap style 'McGrammar'

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EEF

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Keeping it positive

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Planning the day

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Booklet with tips and advice for home schooling 

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Booklet with tips and advice for home schooling 

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Inner Drive

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InnerDrive Parents Lockdown Six Pack - Pack 1

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InnerDrive Parents Lockdown Six Pack - Pack 1

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Inner_Drive

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A great article about finding mindfulness as a parent

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A great article about finding mindfulness as a parent

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I am standing at the kitchen sink and I sigh at the pile of unwashed dishes. I start rinsing and jamming them into the dishwasher as fast as I can because my mind is already racing to the next five things I have to do and I feel like it's insurmountable. It's also monotonous.My son runs by screaming in some made-up game about dragons and I tense up at the noise and snap at him to not run in the kitchen.

* This post may contain affiliate or referral links for your convenience. Clicking on these links directs you to a website to purchase the product. Nurture and Thrive receives a small fee for this service. Thank you for your support!

Does any of that sound familiar to you? That stuck-in-a-rut, low-key irritation feeling? I know that I've felt like that a million times. But, I'm here to tell you there is a different way to feel. A way to harness the power of your ever-changing brain, perhaps even most especially in the parenting years.

My Own Journey to A Mindful Brain: The Beginning

My journey in mindfulness began in graduate school. I signed up for a class in transpersonal psychology - or the psychology 'beyond the self.' It was taught by a professor who blended eastern philosophical orientations with western psychological approaches.

Creating the Mandala from colored sand.

The highlight of the semester was when a group of Tibetan Monks came to visit our class. They didn't lecture or really, even talk that much at all. They taught by example, by doing. In a way very similar to the parent-child relationship.

They spent most of their time with us creating a Mandala from colored sand. Bit by bit they sculpt the sand into an extremely detailed piece of art.

The construction of the mandala is a form of mindfulness meditation in itself. It is an exercise in immersing oneself in the task at hand, simply for the sake of being dedicated to something in that moment.

The completed Mandala

Once the Mandala is complete, the monks ceremoniously destroy their work. The mandala represents theimpermanence of life.

The impermanence of our life. How, like a piece of colored sand, each of us is just a small speck in the universe of existence. How we are intricately interwoven and beautiful. And how - we all have just a moment in time to make a beautiful and meaningful life.

Releasing the colored sand into the water after the Mandala was destroyed.

What does any of this have to do with the monotony that parenting sometimes is? Everything... I'll get there at the end - but first... we need to understand a little brain science...

Parenting and Mindfulness: Changes in the Adult Brain

As an adult, our brains are less plastic, less changeable than our children's. We are developed and mature - set in our ways so to speak. Yet,the adult brain is not rigid. It is still plastic, although less so. There are two things in particular that can cause quite significant changes in the adult brain:

How Having a Child Changes the Brain - in a Good Way!

Research shows that there are increases in gray matter volume in the prefrontal cortex, parietal lobes, and midbrain areas in mothers postpartum. This newly developed "parental" brain is thought to help us respond to infant cues.

Do you lose brain cells when you have a child?

Increases in gray matter are followed by an intense period of pruning - the loss of gray matter for at least two years after birth. This has been the subject of much negative press and jokes- "Having kids is killing off my brain cells, no wonder I can't remember anything!"

This is sort-of true. When the brain develops many new connections, the brain is less efficient and communication within the brain is muddled. Thinking and remembering does feel harder because it is in this new over-connected and less efficient brain.

Significant brain development like this happens three times in our lives: toddlerhood, mid-adolescence, and after having a child. So, think about how a toddler acts, how an adolescent acts, and just discard your "mom guilt" right here and right now. The same part of the brain - regulatory systems - is under development at these three periods. And while you are at a different stage than a toddler or adolescent, any time you are dealing with new brain development - it's hard!

But it is isn't the 'loss of brain cells" like the jokes suggest that it is hard. It is having too many brain cells, or really, too many connections. With new connections, comes new abilities. But, the brain has to learn from experience which connections are important. Which connections to strengthen - and the rest are pruned away.

Until, the brain figures out which connections it really needs and strengthens those and prunes the rest - hence the loss of gray matter. But really, it is the GAIN of stronger new connections in the brain.

Research shows that women with more "loss" of gray matter (read: pruning and strengthening of connections) had a stronger attachment to their infants and less negative feelings towards their infants.

The changes we see in a mother's brain during pregnancy and after birth are located in areas associated with emotions and regulation. And there is evidence that changes happen in dad's brains too, so it isn't completely explained by the hormonal changes of pregnancy and birth.

When we become a parent, our brains change.

When our child is born, we are born as parents.

This is a new role and with it comes newly developed parts of our brain. And we must be gentle with ourselves. We are not born knowing everything we know to be a good parent. We are learning and growing right alongside our kids.

One Other Way The Brain 'Grows' in Adulthood: Meditation

There is only one other thing besides having a child that is known to change in the brain in adulthood is meditation. Research suggests that practicing mindfulness meditation for just 8 weeks is associated with changes in gray matter concentration in brain regions involved in learning and memory processes, emotion regulation, self-referential processing, and perspective-taking in adults.

While these are not exactly the same areas of the brain that changes with parenthood, there is a significant overlap. Why does this matter? When you become a parent your brain may be primed to be able to learn things like mindfulness. You may pick it up faster or easier than at other times in your life.

Meditation may be a way to harness your newfound parental brain.

And that is could be a really good thing. Because mindfulness training (compared to relaxation) in adults dissipates stress by causing a reduction in inflammatory biomarkers. It makes you more stress-resilient. There are also increases in empathy and compassion in adults who practice mindfulness meditation - both qualities necessary in parenting.

The Mindful Parent: Harnessing the Power of Your Brain

So, if we all start meditating all day it's all hunky dory? Not exactly.

Benefits for children were not necessarily seen for parents who meditated, but for those whose parents used mindfulness as part of their parenting, as a parenting tool.

Mindfulness in parenting is harnessing the power of the parent brain in conjunction with the mindful brain - using your newfound skills and abilities to their fullest. Reaching your potential as a parent.

So, what is mindful parenting exactly?

A Shift in Perspective

Really it all comes down to a shift in perspective. From being harried and rushed to being present and engaged in the moment. To being self-aware of your own state of mind so you can detect the early symptoms of stress and stop the cycle. To go from trying to do it all, to being here right now.
Be Present.
So that you can...

Intentionally and mindfully respond to your child instead of automatically reacting.

Recognize that your child's behavior is unformed communication.

Mindfully listen to what your child is trying to tell you in words, in emotions, and in behavior.

Identify your own emotional triggers as they first start to bubble up.

See that your child's emotions are bigger than they are.

Pause, breathe, and think before you respond.

Mindful Parenting in Action

Being a mindful parent is being fully engaged and aware. Proactive rather than reactive. The easiest way to start is to simply pause and reflect before you react.
Embrace imperfection.
Researchers who study mindful parenting use it as an intervention aimed at reducing self-judgment, especially as it comes to our own judgment of our parenting. They have found that practicing mindful parenting leads to less depressive, anxious, and stress-symptoms in mothers.

We are growing and changing as parents. Parenthood is a journey - an amazing journey in which we ourselves are developing and changing right alongside our kids. Our milestones cannot be captured on growth charts or speaking first words, but rather in our emotional and cognitive world. We will have growth spurts and awkward phases too - that is part of our growth.

We aim for patience and kindness. Parenting without harsh words or loud voices. But we are all human. Part of being a mindful parent is having self-compassion.

Raising a child - giving them tools for life - watching them grow and then letting them go - it's emotional, it fills us with joy and sorrow all at once.
It's an amazing, soulful journey that we are on.
One of the things I remember most from the visit with the Tibetan Monks all those years ago is how happy they were. We all commented on it because it took us a little by surprise. We had expected the monks to be serious, perhaps solemn. We had prepared ourselves to be presentable by being straight and stiff - yet as soon as we met them we felt their non-judgmental compassion and our guards came tumbling down.

We found ourselves cheerful and joyous. And I realize now - this is how I want to be as a parent - how you probably want to be as a parent too.

As a parent, I found mindfulness again. I'd like to meditate more consistently. I'd like to be less anxious and worried. I'd like my son to look back and remember a light-hearted mother who was there, engaged, who listened with compassion. It's a self-compassionate journey.

Here I am again, washing the dishes. I feel the stress start to bubble up and I stop it. I look out the window - there are a few cardinals and a wren eating at the feeder. I exhale slowly. I notice the smell of the ginger-yuzu dish soap (my favorite) as I scrub the pan clean. Yes, it will get dirty again soon, but for now, I feel satisfaction that it is sparkling clean. I breathe.

And when my son runs by on his imaginary dragon - I smile - I tell him there are birds outside and I tell him not to run by the dishwasher when it's open. He smiles and races around the table while I start piling dishes into the dishwater.

It sounds hokey, but the only real difference is - I'm present.

I still have 10 - no 20 more things to do. My son is still screaming. But I'm different.

I am choosing to be different. I am choosing to be here - to see my son - to smile at his imagination.

Because one day - all those brightly colored pieces of sand will be swept away.

All I really have is now.

It's not time that makes life meaningful. Time is an illusion, time makes us busy and sad.

It's the connections we make - how we listen to each other - being present in the moment - that makes life meaningful.

There is a place for memories and there is a place for planning. But if you spend all your time in the past or in the future, you miss today.

If you engage and connect with your child in the moment, the rest of it fades away and you find yourself enjoying this time.

This mundane moment washing dishes as he runs around with dragons.

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The Magic Formula for a More Meaningful Life with Kids

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I am standing at the kitchen sink and I sigh at the pile of unwashed dishes. I start rinsing and jamming them into the dishwasher as fast as I can because my mind is already racing to the next five things I have to do and I feel like it's insurmountable.