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Many times Filipinx are embarrassed by American society. The American society often find foreign traditions, food, or languages strange to them. For example, when we bring a Filipino food as lunch to school, like dinuguan, students have a reaction that make us Filipinx feel embarrassed. So, our instinct is to not bring a Filipino food for lunch to school next time. This causes the Filipinx community to conform to the norms of American society, to let their embarrassment about being different make them want to erase those differences.

According to Professor Kevin L. Nadal, author of the book, Filipino American Psychology, this embarrassment is one of five elements of the Colonial Mentality Scale. The other four elements include: within group discrimination, physical characteristics, colonial debt, and internalized inferiority.

Nadal recognizes five steps of decolonization framework: Rediscovery, Mourning, Dreaming, and Action. In order for us to break through the embarrassment and self-denigration of colonized mentality, we can follow these steps to decolonize.

Knowing that many other Filipinx face discouraging racial/cultural experiences, makes me feel like I have others to support and defend me elements of American society that promote colonial mentality.

- Samuel E, Filipino

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“Kevin, why are you wearing the same sweater? The other kids are gonna think you don’t own any other clothes and that you’re poor. Kevin put on some sunscreen or you’re going to get darker and people are going to make fun of you. They’re going to say ‘Wow! Look at him, he’s so dark’”. The talks my Mom gave me about my appearance made me think that what I’m wearing isn’t good enough and that I should not be OK with it. I felt that even though I am a Latino, I should strive to be more than just another Mexican. That I should rise above what I currently am and become even better.

Looking back, I notice that there were some aspects of me being influenced by the colonial mentality from my Mom. I took her advice and no one else's, since I held her beliefs higher than my own. My Mom most likely developed this way of thinking due to social media advertising one race being higher than another with the use of commercials. Colonial mentality is defined as “internalized oppression in which the colonizers values and beliefs are accepted by the colonized as beliefs and truths of their own” (Nadal 186-187). This definition coming from Kevin Nadal, author and professor of psychology, in his book Filipino American Psychology.

I would like to figure out what elements from Colonial Mentality were present during my time being influenced by my parents. This teaches me that colonial mentality can come in different shapes and sizes, such as a simple suggestion “use sunscreen, you’re getting to dark” to a form of ideology like racism.

- Kevin R.T., Mexican American

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Even though Gng. Almazar (Gng. is the Tagalaog equivalent for Ms. or Mrs.) kept repeating the same basic curriculum over and over again, I do not regret the three years of taking Filipino language in high school. That wasn't always the case. Gng. Almazer wanted us to understand and learn about our culture, to to embrace.

But at that time, I frankly didn't care. Still, Gng. Almazar  persisted, having students go to an events regarding the "changes" of Filipinos. That is something remembered when I joined Bayan. . Now i can put what she taught me in high school to Bayan or any of the Filipino events she "forced" us to attend.

Developing my language was hard for me for I was a  "white-washed " Filipina. I never spoke my language even though I hear it all the time. Not once did I learn how to speak even throughout my three years of taking Filipino. I struggled to find who I was; I didn’t feel Filipino enough because I didn’t speak the language nor knew anything of my culture.  I had no clue of who I was.

That's no surprise since I was never informed about the actual history about Filipinos. But there were cultural aspect about being Filipino I did practice: "mano po", lowering our heads and pressing our elders hands to our foreheads. This  "blessing" is a way we show respect to our elders. This was strongly forced on me from my grandma she made me do it every time to her friend or every party we went to.

This month, presenter Reynila Calderone-Magbuhat taught us about the four waves that I never learned about from high school. I never learned about how these men would become stewards for the navy nor that their  significant other of those men were called, " war brides ". She also stated how Louisiana was the first Filipino settlement. These are things I never knew about Filipinos.

Learning Tagalog with Gng. Amazer, I couldn't appreciate my culture. I'm still learning to appreciate what it means to be a Filipina. Perhaps it's because I didn't know my history. I never knew about the waves of immigration and the sacrifices that the Filipinos went through. I was only taught the " basics " about my culture. What I mean about basics? The blessing, food, and the easy vocabulary from Gng. Amazer.

Speaking a Filipino dialect or eating Filipino food isn't enough to define me as Filipina. In retrospect, I do appreciate what Gng. Almazer tried to instill in me. And still, wonder.  What Beyond language or food, makes me Filipino? I know it's more than food ways and customs. So then, what does it take to be an authentic Filipino?

- Erin, Filipina

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I used to think every Filipinx person didn’t go through the same struggles because we are all different people. The only thing I thought I had in common with other Filipinx’s was that we liked rice and all our parents wanted us to become nurses but obviously that’s not the case. Every story about racial identity that I heard I could relate to. There is diversity in the group but there is also similarities which have to do with looks and immigration status.

A classmate shared how she wanted to make her skin lighter because dark skin wasn’t considered beautiful. I could relate to that story because I would always get made fun of for having dark skin. This gave me a sense of similarity. Another story I heard was that a girl was called Chinese instead of Filipino Even though that didn’t happen to me I could feel the pain and anger they felt at the time because being a fellow Filipinx person like her it hurt. Both stories are different but still create empathy.

In his book Filipino American Psychology, Kevin Nadal says  “Asian Americans are the fastest growing ethnic minority group in the United States”(4). This means that there are a lot of Filipinx people out there who have stories to share.

We need to speak up, and listen, too. Filipinx voices must be heard so we can recognize ourselves and each other. And feel empowered. Using empathy, we can appreciate our Filipinx culture

- Melanie, Filipina

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Growing up, everyone around me believed I should be good at school especially math. Regardless of their culture, they expected me to be good with numbers. After reading the book Filipino American Psychology by Kevin Nadal, I began to understand why people from other cultures and races see Asians as intelligent and not recognizing that belief is a stereotype.

US society has put a stereotype on what being Asian is, and that stereotype is that all Asians are smart. Kevin Nadal introduces one reason Asians are invisible in psychology and other fields: The “Model Minority Myth”. Nadal says “This myth contends all Asian Americans are well-educated, successful, and law-abiding citizens in the US” (Nadal 15). In other words, people, including Asians, often believe the assumption that Asian Americans value their education and careers therefore they are less prone to crime, unlike other minority groups.

This is a problem because this myth isn’t true for many Asian Americans, like myself. I'm not a criminal, for sure. But I'm not good at math, as "good Asians" are supposed to be.

The Model Minority Myth contributes to why I never understood who I am. My peers believed that all Asians were supposed to be good at Math however that wasn’t the case with me. One time in middle school, I was handed back a test I earned a low grade for and my peers around me saw it and said “Aren’t all Asians supposed to be good at Math?”. The Asian Americans around me agreed with this saying, so I just felt stupid and ashamed that I didn't meet those expectations.

- Paul C, Filipino