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One day, Jeremie played football alone and he saw other boys in the park. They catched butterfly. Than he went there. Jeremie met boys and they played baseball together. Later, they decided join the baseball tournament so they began study for big match in Jeremie’s house. Jeremie’s one friend hit the baseball ball. The ball crash his face and broked his noise. The day after Jeremie bought a gift and he went to hospital for visited his friend. Jeremie’s friend liked his present so much and he felt so happy because he spend a lot of time for found a quiet gift for him. In the end he dancing  in hospital because he felt very happy.

Well done Aysegul. A clear story that is easy to read
- Where are the adverbs?
Check:

- decide + to + infinitive
Decided to join
- began + verb ing
Began studying

- the difference between crash and hit

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One day, Carl played baseball with his friends. Carl was very angry that day so he hit the ball hard but his friend greeted the ball just then he saw a butterfly. He caught the butterfly carefully and Carl, thought it was a gift. He went her girlfriend's home but he didn't know path just then he saw a bottle and he went to the bottle quickly but the bottle fallen fast and broken then a smell came from the bottle. Carl started to dance suddenly. Finally, he always danced badly.
Excellent Esin. You used all tenses correctly and used lots of adverbs

-Nothing to correct

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One day I was happy and I was dancing and I wanted to fly. then we started playing baseball with alexander. The ball fell down alexander accidentally broke his mother 's vase while lifting me and throwing it at me. I decided to buy a mother gift for me. and I saw a butterfly and I grabbed it to give it to my mother and made a gift package. I put it on the closet to give it to Mother ın the end

_Good job Muhammed

- But where are the adverbs?

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The other morning, Aykut played base ball in the stadium.He hit the ball.The ball dropped in the my head.My head hurts and I was very cry.He started to catch butterfly but he couldn’t catch butterfly.He went home.He broke his father vase.He was very cry and he went outside.He gift present his father.He bought new vase.He danced from very happinies because his father very happy with this gift.THE END ÖKKEŞ STORY BOOK PAGE 58 15.Hikaye

- Good effort Ibrahim

You need to use adverbs:

For example,  you could say 'He danced happily'

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One day Britney bored and started to think.Britney, suddenly wanted to catch the butterfly.Then she met with friends.They played baseball and golf together and went to dance then Britney wanted to go home and asked her friends to address.Later, his friends told him and easily found his house.Then she left his house and carefully selected a gift for his friend.

Well done Dilara - you used adverbs very well!

Remember:

- When we use adjectives, and there is no action, use verb to be

For example, Britney WAS bored

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One day Josh played baseball. He hit the ball and he broke his mother vase. Then he started to think about his mother gift and he bought his new vase. He danced from happiness because his mother very happy with this gift. Then he took the ball and went outside. He played baseball again but this time more carefully. Finally, he started to catch butterfly and he lost his way home.

-Good use of verbs. Your accraucy is good

-Where are the adverbs?
For example, you can say He danced happilu, not 'he danced from happiness'

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One day jake played baseball and golf in his garden.He caught butterfly but he bored.Then he thought about her girlfriend and he was remember her girlfriend's birthday party. He gave gift for his girlfriend.He went her girlfriend's home but he didn't know path. Finally, he found the road and went his girlfriend's party. He danced in party and gave gift his girlfriend.

Good effort Berfin - I liked the story
_ Where are the adverbs?

Remember:

- Use verb to be when describing feelings. For example, He WAS bored.

-Remember is a verb. So you should say "He remembered'
- He went TO her girlfriend's home

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One day, the baseball ball dropped it while I was playing baseball with my friend. My friend took the ball and threw it. I caught the butterfly while I was trying to catch the ball. I went to home and found the gift so I thought lucky day for me. I left home and I was hanging with my friends. Later, I came to home and I noticed to my gift on the wardrobe. By the time, I dropped my mother's chemical materials.(cleaning products?) I noticed to I don't care(about life) the life. Finally, I danced.

-An interesting story, but where are the adverbs?

-Remember we usually use to+ place, like to the cinema, but home is different,  go home, without to.

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One day Ali got a gift.  He danced from happiness. Then he started to think about what your g(Whose gift?)ift is. He broke his father's bottle while he was imagining the gift.Firstly, he stopped and thought what to do. Then he hid the bottle. He took the ball and went out. He started to play baseball. He hit the ball and the ball went away. Finally, he started to catch the butterfly.

-A nice story, and correct use of verbs :)

Where are the adverbs?

For example, you can say He danced happily, instead of 'He danced from happiness'

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Mr. Yakup

One day would to was playing baseball and he is hit a ball and the ball is going to outside.The ball going to near house roof.Than Mr. Yakup is going to the house roof and climb the roof.He can’t catch the ball and press the house ring *Doorbell and one women open the door and the women said what do you want and he said my baseball ball on the roof can I take it and the women said if you give me a gift.I can give your ball and he said OK.Than Mr. Yakup going to own home and think.Than he finded good idea he can catch butterfly.He is going to park and he catch one butterfly and he going to the women house and press her ring.The women open the door and gifted the butterfly and the women say come my house.Mr. Yakup went his home and sitted his sofa.The women say I’m taking your ball now.Can you wait hear.Mr. Yakup looked his vase and brok ronkly and after he take own ball and he went home and he dancing all of day.

-Good effort Cem

Remember:

-Don't use Be going to for the past. Just use past simple. For eg. He went home, NOT going to home
- Always use past tense for stories, and remember the irreugular verbs , such as sit-sat
-Use commas (,) to make your sentences easier to read

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One day, as the baseball was playing, the ball quickly began to come from the floor and came towards my friend. My friend made a quick move to the ball to come to the ball, and when the ball hit the ball, the ball caught a butterfly and Mehmet gave the butterfly slowly. When my lover saw the gift, it started to think. (Who is the lover, and what is it?)Mehmet was embarrassed and started running, and he called me and told me that he was missing, so I slowly set off and found him and went home. Mehmet said he was hungry and went to eat, but he could not get the raffin makarnayı an acepter hit the vase and broke it, but instead of being angry at him, we quietly opened the music and started to dance.

Well done Murat. An interesting story with a good use of adverbs?

-Remember to be clear when writing, does the reader know who the subject is (The lover, it)