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💌 a lifelong celebration of a brief friendship

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💌 a lifelong celebration of a brief friendship

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i keep writing more and more about you because you’ve been far away for so long and everything hurts all the time and there are so many things i wish we could have shared but they’re just dreams forever now, and words are all i’m left with. i know you liked to write and you wanted to go back to it, so here i am going back to it in honor of you.

kane guerrero, i knew you for a tiny, recent moment in time (i wish we had more time) but it didn’t take a lot for me to realize you were a kindred soul.

the quiet early morning after the surreal high of wanderland day 1 that you and i spent opening up to each other remains to be one of my favorite memories of 2023 and my entire life (ang special mo talaga). we’d already spoken quite a lot throughout the day and night, often walking side by side and trailing behind the group as we mapped kilometers through our various destinations in alabang, attempting to learn more about each other as people who may have been in the same places before but who just met for the very first time. that early morning after, though, we were alone.

here is an exhilarating discovery i made as i sat across you: getting lost in your bright brown eyes was as simple as breathing. as we conversed in the hotel’s outdoor foyer while the moon shone above us and the rest of the world slept, you shared with me your way of communicating, struggles, coping mechanisms, hopes, and past without pretense, and i listened and responded, delighted whenever your stories confirmed that we were on the same wavelength, that we both indulged spontaneous urges to chase after our adventurous joys and small reliefs.

later, when we went back inside the hotel’s 7-eleven, you held the door open for me and quipped, “i’m a gentleman,” which made me snicker. back at our table, when the paper bag with my three bottles of water got torn as i picked it up, you, without question, switched my bag with yours and threw mine in the trash. when i said that the two dutch mill strawberry yoghurt drinks that you bought for yourself looked yummy, you, without me asking for it, offered me one (i had that delicious treat for breakfast before we attended day 2 later). you let me keep some of my things in your black backpack before we moved to stay beside a small tree on the nearby sidewalk, a space of curious companionship away from prying eyes, and after almost two hours together, you walked with me back to my room when i asked you to even though you already pressed the elevator button to your floor five levels higher than mine. what sweetness and vulnerability towards someone who was very much just a stranger captivated by you.

sadly, we never saw each other again after that weekend despite hopes and plans to, but we built an amusing, caring, and supportive friendship through late night chats, chaotic voice messages, sincere compliments, memes, recommendations of art and songs we love and think the other would appreciate, and photos and videos of our dogs, among other private gifts. i was never intimidated by your openness and welcomed it with understanding, humor, firm encouragement, and a similar frightening honesty. you trusted me, a new person, with secrets and musings and jokes i imagine you might’ve reserved for those closest to you, those who’d known you and your physical and emotional presence for years more than i ever did. even so, we enjoyed a specific language, a funny, affectionate, heartfelt banter between two wounded and big-hearted dreamers who clicked.

hours after i told you i buried my goldie and when we were deep in some new conversation, you asked if a call would help me communicate something i desperately needed to tell you but couldn’t properly say through text. when you called, i poured my heart out to you — this is the last time i ever heard your deep and soothing voice as it was, your effervescent laughter, the playful smiling lilt when you’d make an inside joke in the language we’d shared. my words and mind were a nervous 3 am mess, but you never made me feel like i had to rush or be sorry for my emotions. you simply listened and waited, open to me. i could sense that in the safety of your silence each time i fumbled for truth, an underlying tenderness like the lasting warmth of our first hug a month earlier at the end of that two-day dream. and almost three hours later, you, yawning yet still sensitive and present, told me i could leave the call on if i wanted to, your way of continuing to keep me company while i rush packed for my trip to bicol that day. i didn’t leave it on because i thought i’d let you rest, but God, i wanted to. i wish i’d let that call linger.

how your gentle soul glimmered in these precious moments of compassion that didn’t demand but inspired genuine reciprocation. how your courage shined in your choice to bare yourself over and over again in spite of the fear of rejection. how immeasurably fortunate i am to have known and seen you and to have been seen by you, no matter the brief length and distance of our friendship.

you are infinitely loved and cared for and have always been worthy of the generosity you shared with others even and especially through all the pain, kane. i hope you’re happy up there.

when i drive alone and roll the car windows down while chasing a sunrise as it blesses a spot i found overlooking some picturesque mountains, i’ll think of you.💜

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Kane, joining his mama with her college friends from ACES. Remembering this quiet yet game & handsome young man, nakikisama with all the Tito’s and Tita’s!

Rest in eternal peace and joy, Kane 💕

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The socks you gave me are one of my favorites. I’ll wear them whenever I miss you extra. You were always such a thoughtful person, and holidays will be a little less bright without you. Love you, Kane.

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We were cousins, but you were always closer to a brother. We will miss you always. ❤️‍🩹

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this was on day 1, after he got converted to iglesia ni carly rae. HAHAHAHH

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Approachable and kind. Makulit and goofy haha. Thank you Kane! For touching our lives with kindness and grace.

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2014-12-18 4th Year Christmas Party 3.JPG

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2014-12-18 4th Year Christmas Party 2.JPG

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2014-09-27 4th Year 1st Card Giving Day with batchmates

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2014-09-27 4th Year 1st Card Giving Day with batchmates

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Happy moments sharing and celebrating the Joy of Christmas with the Lingay-Labbu Family 

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Perhaps one of Kane’s happiest memories was with these children, knowing the compassionate and kind-hearted soul within.

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One of the best people you will ever meet.

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One of the best people you will ever meet.

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Kane was one of the kindest, funniest and the smartest persons I have ever known in my life. We went to gradeschool together and back then I was being bullied. Everyday was a struggle at school and I always dreaded going to school due to the bullying. Kane was one of the few people who treated me with kindness and didn't jump in when I was being teased. His acts of kindness still echoes to me up to this day and I am forever grateful. You will be missed my dear friend.

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There's a picture online out there of me and Kuya Kane, eating lunch together during one of the many Sunday lunches we had with family, that was captioned "Ang dalawang Augustine", but I can't find it, so. Here.

I want to share one of my favorite poems, which I shared online last year. Kuya Kane talked to me after that to tell me how much the poem resonated with him. It's called Community of the Spirit by Rumi.

There is a community of the spirit.
Join it, and feel the delight of walking in the noisy street and being the noise.

Drink all your passion,
and be a disgrace.

Close both eyes to see with the other eye.

Open your hands,
if you want to be held.

Sit down in the circle.

Quit acting like a wolf, and feel the shepherd’s love filling you.

At night, your beloved wanders.

Don’t accept consolations.
Close your mouth against food.

Taste the lover’s mouth in yours.
You moan, “She left me.” “He left me.”
Twenty more will come.

Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought!

Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.
Live in silence.

Flow down and down in always widening rings of being.

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I’ll never forget you, brother. You’ll always be in our hearts. Your love and kindness touched all of us.

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Kane looking out at a river in Kanchanaburi, Thailand 

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HELLO to all who love Kane and were loved by Kane 🤍 Thank you for your support & time.

We are gathering stories, photos, short videos, poems, playlists—any precious moment you would like to share, that showcases how big Kane lived and how big he loved.

Just a few reminders before you start:

1. ☑️ CONSENT | Kindly take note that Kane's family intends to use the photos & videos uploaded here for a memorial slideshow at his wake.

2. ❤️‍🩹 ETIQUETTE | Leave a trail of kindness & gratitude for the next person who will read this. This is the space for a thoughtful & earnest celebration of Kane's life.

3. 🤝 LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART  | Kane always loved listening to and sharing stories with everybody—friends, strangers, blue collar workers, farm animals. He was always present and intentional. Let's strive to be the same to each other, here and in person.

Thank you so much. We send light and love to you, wherever you are.

~ Kane's family

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Always an acolyte during PSHS Masses

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Kane was a kind soul. I only reconnected with him last 2021 but he remained kind and humble even after high school. He was fond of nature and dogs, and he lived life with passion and contentment. He admired even the smallest of things and wondered the vast nature. He would share stories, assist to your needs, and all the while keeping things modest. He was a kind soul, indeed. I pray for his peace and the peace of his family. Kung nasaan ka man, rest in power, Kane!

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Kane and I knew each other since were 2 years old. I went through all stages of life with him alongside our circle of childhood friends. We were inseparable; we went on family trips, we spent our time in each others houses, we would have the same tutor schedule right after school, after tutoring we would be playing video games together. Every event we participated in, you could easily find me seated next to Kane. In our class photos we were always situated at the back as we were considered the taller kids, during school masses we would be seated together, even the teachers seating plan had us always right next to each other. We were really inseparable.

When I moved to Manila, or even the US, there was never any sort of gap. We were always connected, no matter how many days passed without us seeing or talking to each other physically, we’d always instantly connect. The bond I shared with Kane transcends friendship, he was a brother to me.

I have nothing but beautiful memories with Kane, after all we grew up together. For 22 years I was blessed to share a life with someone more than a friend to me, someone who I proudly call my brother. Of course like brothers often do, we would have our arguments and our little fights but at the end of the day we would go home with huge smiles on our faces.

Kane, you were a beautiful soul that radiated nothing but positivity, you had the brightest smile in the room.  I hope you knew how much positive impact you’ve had in my life. I have so much more to tell you, so many stories and laughs. You were always near and dear to me, I will forever cherish you even if that is now just memories for me to recall. Thank you for everything, brother.

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2013-04-17 Summer Internship Program at the UP NIP

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2013-04-17 Summer Internship Program at the UP NIP

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2013-04-17 Summer Internship Program at the UP NIP

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2013-04-17 Summer Internship Program at the UP NIP

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2013-04-17 Summer Internship Program at the UP NIP

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2013-04-17 Summer Internship Program at the UP NIP

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Kane, Carl, John, and Rebs

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Napasama sa mga poging atenista - Kane, Lance, Heinrich. :-)

Memories are forever. This picture may age but the smiles are joys of the heart.

At sa iyong paglisan Kane, mananatili ka sa aming mga puso.

Ang mga alaala mo ay mananatiling buhay.

-Sir/Tito SAM SOLIVEN

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“Magsabi ka lang kuya Hazan kung need mo help sa mga construction works, gusto ko rin makatulong sa inyo ni ate Macky at gusto ko rin matuto” - Kane

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Si Kane laging gusto may bagong natututunan, lalo na sa mga outdoor skills. Ito yung isang time na sinama ko siya sa bahay ng parents ko sa Santa Fe at nagpaturo siya magsibak ng kahoy. Laging napakasimple ng kaligayahan niya pero patuloy naman itong nagbibigay sa akin ng lakas para mas pag-igihan ko pang maging isang mabuting “kuya” sa kanya🙏

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Thank you for sharing your generosity and your time especially to your Pisay friends. We Will surely miss your sweet smile and wonderful laugh, Kane. You are loved 🤍 (Nov 2023, PSHSCVC)

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Kane was my seatmate during our sophomore year in Pisay CVC. We were seated in the back row of our classroom. Even though we were both students, he would teach me shortcuts to every lesson we had so that I could understand it better. He would also share his food and tell funny jokes during recess. He was also our class president then, showing how capable and excellent a leader he was. His patience and kindness made our section the best section among the sophomore classes; even our teachers back then would praise our section for being tame and unified, unlike the other classes (sorry, Rosal and Champaca, Jasmine the best >_<). He truly shined during our sophomore year that almost every girl batchmate, including me, had a crush on him. I remembered that we even sent prank texts to him. Instead of getting angry or ignoring those texts, he would still be curious and reply even if he was busy reading manga. He also taught me how to play Paramore songs on the drums, showing his passion. I once anonymously gifted him a pyraminx cube, but a part of that cube broke off. He kept playing with it even though it was broken, and he did not know who had gifted it to him. That showed how appreciative he is even with the small, broken things. Those occurrences were only the tip of an iceberg showing that Kane does not have a mean bone.

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First bike ride!

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Thank you for opening your doors!

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Solid times!

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I've only met Kane once, and we've known him for only over a year through Valorant. It was a very short time, but enough to know how thoughtful and wonderful he is.

Whenever we had group calls on Discord, he'd have the most interesting topics in mind. He talks a lot, almost never running out of ideas to share, but also never fails to listen to anything we have to say. He'd often ask us about the things he was curious of. He'd make even the most random and mundane thing fascinating. I remember the time when he asked me to show him how I bake cookies and brownies and how I crack eggs with just one hand, then he'd act like I just did such an amazing thing. He would also always show us his lovely dogs and then teach us how he makes his coffee. He even made us watch him eat his breakfast.

Kane has such a sweet and pure soul. One of the kindest person I've ever met. In the short time we've known each other, he gave us nothing but happiness and laughter.

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A very humble, grateful, courteous, and kindhearted person

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A very humble, grateful, courteous, and kindhearted person

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Kane was my student in Chemistry at Pisay-CVC in his fourth year. He belonged to IV-Muon class then.

When he sees that I carry a lot of things to class, he would never fail to come to my rescue, greet me, then carry some of my things and help me put them on the teacher's table. He would do the same again when I leave their class. He has a grateful heart - very thankful for simple things I have done as a teacher. He listens more than he speaks but his actions show of humility and respect... <3

I am proud of him for he kept his scholarly values even beyond HS. His generosity and kindheartedness translated into various acts of generosity to many.

As his past teacher, I shall miss him dearly but his wonderful memories shall linger in my heart forever...  <3