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Dear 2022,

For f*** sake, 2022. Why’d you have to go and do me so dirty this year? Okay, I will admit, it wasn’t all bad. I’m being very dramatic. I wrote some very good essays, and I got a lead in the school play, so I can count those as a couple of wins. Not to mention I also was finally allowed an Instagram account that was not co-run by my Mother.

But, of course, it had more downs than it did ups…

First of all, I am still painstakingly single. My situationship came to no avail this year after he declared he had been crushing on seven other girls…and then asking me out immediately after, and claiming he was completely over every. Single. One of them. Then, he said he would prove to me that he was willing to commit. He did in fact, commit--to another girl! That was the first and hopefully only time I have ever cried over a man.

I finally succumbed to COVID in May, though I didn’t have it very bad, and not long after, directly before my long-awaited beach vacation with my entire family, my cousin and aunt got infected as well. Whoop-dee-doo.

Might I also remind you of when Mrs. Kim Kardashian literally ruined Marilyn Monroe’s custom dress at the MET gala by wearing it for 27 minutes and then throwing it in the bin…personally, I thought that was worse than The Slap!

You also overturned Roe V Wade in June, and took away the rights of many women and girls all over the country, so I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to forgive you for that. However, my personal favourite was when you convinced all of Gen-Z that Lea Michele was illiterate and then cancelled her immediately on stan Twitter.

Then, my birthday came around the corner in September, and it just so happened that Trisha Paytas went into labour ON MY BIRTHDAY. Trisha Paytas gave birth to her baby the DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY. Now, whenever it’s my birthday, I’m just going to think, “Wow, tomorrow is Malibu Paytas’s birthday.”

Even though we had our ups and downs, it’s going to be tough letting you go. I keep writing 2022 on my assignments instead of 2023, because I am still hung up on you!

Goodbye, 2022, it’s gonna be hard to miss you.

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Dear 2022,

I don’t want to make this too harsh on you, but I’m really just done. Let’s face it, you’re old school, and I just need to move on and progress. I mean, are we for real? Reversing Roe v. Wade? I am done being stuck in the past, and you’re just dragging  me down.

Oh, and the whole COVID thing? News Flash: It’s not trendy anymore. So, let's face the facts, quit pretending that it is, and stop with the whole resurgence thing. No, thank you anymore!

I will give it to you: You brought us a killer new Beyonce album. But still, what about a breakthrough artist? Once again, ur stuck in the past babe; it’s time to let go.

Just because you repeat numbers, doesn’t mean we need to repeat history. So sorry, but it’s time to let go of you, and the past. The angel number 222 either means you need to take a break from someone, or they're your twin flame. I hate to break it to you, but I’m pretty confident in the first option.

So see you never 2022, because I'm about ready to welcome change.

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Listen, I can’t do this anymore. I’m sick of you, literally. Covid in July and a cold for the WHOLE month of November. I just need you to go away. You can’t keep getting away with this stuff.

First you overturn Roe v. Wade during a baby formula shortage. In what world does that make any sense? You constantly made everyone sad. You s*ck. You killed Pele, Bob McGrath, The Queen of England, and the cruellest of all, you killed the Choco Taco. You are a monster. You never deserve to see the light of day again. And you wrecked America’s cutest family, the Fulmers. Why did Ned have to cheat on Ariel? Hearing the news devastated me.

Speaking of hearing, you gave my cousin so many ear infections that he has to get tubes in his ears. He is precious and doesn’t deserve you. I can only hope 2023 treats him better than you ever did. Also, why did you let Trisha Paytas become a mother?? What kind of name is Malibu Barbie?!

You were supposed to be a redemption year for us, but you were just another letdown. I guess the third try isn’t a charm.

I think you’ve changed me forever. I will never be able to get rid of this exhaustion that you have brought me. I can only hope that 2023 will bring me a little more joy and a lot less crap.

I know we had good moments like band camp and Stanley, but those will never make up for how awful I felt for most of the year.

Lastly, it is you, not me. Goodbye.

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Why? Why did it have to end like this.  2022 I loved you.  Here is my final say in the relationship of my dreams, but not yours.

You were absolutely perfect for me.  Your brought me absolutely nothing but fun and joy.  Honestly, you were one of my favorite gf’s of all time.  Maybe you were the only one, but still, you were great.

Just think of all the great times we had together. Whether it was going undercover and killing the g**d*** Queen of England or starting up a war in Ukraine or causing havoc amongst the people of America by coming up with words like abortion and climate change.  Ya, we did all that.  Together. You and me.  Me and you.  We did everything together.  We were one.

Not only did he have fun doing so much stuff together, but you were the one that pushed me to my limit and helped me do as well as I possibly could.  During our relationship, I had one of the best academic and athletic periods of my whole life.  You pushed me to have great grades in all my classes and receive not one, but 2 states championships in Track and football respectively.  You truly were amazing.

I guess I didn’t do enough for you though.  Because now, just 5 days after the brutal end, I am sad, being absolutely overwhelmed with work, falling behind in school, times slowing in swim.  I need you, but it seems like you don’t need me.  But as the big man Dr. Seuss said himself,  I ain’t gonna cry because it’s over.  Imma just smile cause it happened.

Goodbye…Forever.

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Um, goodbye I guess.  I would gladly stay, but goodbye.

I’ve had some of the best times of my life this year.  And sure, it started pretty bad, but I think we really came into our own, like over the summer, there was a lot of good times–despite some questionable hairstyle choices.

I started to not suck at running, so that was really fun. I met some really cool people.  I read an uncomfortable amount that made me feel like I should bully myself but still one great year.  I feel like I genuinely smiled at least three times a week and that is a huge improvement.  And yeah Stranger Things made me hate Metallica for a short while but they came out with a new song and let’s be honest it could’ve been worse.

All the crap with Ukraine was probably unnecessary, but hey, we all have our moments.  Like that time I thought it would be a good idea if I joined an emo band–twice.  That was bad.  Don’t know where that came from.  It was just a little too gothic for me.  When did acting miserable and wearing eyeliner and black nail polish become popular again?

But on the bright side, I met a few good friends.  More like one vague acquaintance, but still.  I had so many great memories with my friends like our diss track on a friend who may or may not be in Ms. Hughes Creative Writing I class ... and watching through IMDB's top 100 movies—not all the way.  Or all the XC team visits to Three Amigos.  And I enjoyed every second of it despite the worst nickname ever.

I found some great music in like January and nothing else for the rest of the year so that wasn’t great.   I watched Breaking Bad twice, and Better Call Saul, that was pretty cool.  I don’t know.

Anyways it has been great. Sorry to see you go, but it was fun.

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Hey 2022,

Ya know how they say, “It’s been a pleasure”? Well… it hasn’t.

I really don’t even know where to start with you… We had some good times, but I can’t help but recall all the bad times first.

You took the Queen, which is, like, totally completely fine with me… I didn’t really know her too well so whatever… You were supposed to be different and new and special, which you were, but not without high cost. I learned so much from you that I would never want to take back, but I will never forget how the pain you caused stabbed and twisted and sunk so deep.

I made several new connections because of you and tried so many new things because of you, and I think I’ll remember you for the rest of my life as one of the strangest, most unique people I’ve ever known. It was hard to live with you after so long, but from one New Year’s Eve to the next, you gave me some pretty good stories to tell.

Anyway, you were not very good for other people either — you somehow caused mass flooding in India and Cuba, managed to figure out how to start landslides in Brazil, set a bunch of the world on fire and just laughed at it, and thought it would be a good idea to bring drought and starvation to new countries. Soooooo, I guess I’m settling on thinking of you as pretty evil. Sorry, not sorry!

If you haven’t gotten the hint yet, I’m breaking up with you.

We had some fun, but I’m with my new b**** now, and we’re gonna' (try to) do some Good for the world…

Unlike you...

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I can’t believe you, 2022. We had a lot of fun times, I mean we finished many books, movies, and shows. I finished Game of Thrones with you. Don’t you remember!? We also hung out with my friends a bunch and made new ones, though I never met your friends. I remember sitting down after a long summer day and sitting down to watch the new Stranger Things season, and we even started to read the first Game of Thrones book, but you left before we finished it. You also helped me improve my drawing skills with the help of the videos you bestowed upon me. We also watched Vinland Saga, Naruto, and a bunch of other shows. We didn’t even get to finish Bleach together.

You also did a lot of bad. This is why I broke up with you. You went ahead and killed the queen, not our queen, but the queen of England! We don’t even live there! There was also the war Russia started with Ukraine; it has nothing to do with you as a person, but it’s still a terrible event. Putin had also threatened to start a nuclear war!

Everyone I date I say, “This is the one,” but you were just not it. You were the year I thought would go best, but alas, that was not the case. I have fought with you time and time again. It’s time to say goodbye.

I'm happy to say goodbye to you, in fact. The world has gone to shambles, and I blame you, 2022!

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Dear 2022,

Its been real. Seriously, a little too real. I feel like you really showed me it was time to grow up. Sometimes I feel like we had a great relationship where I would come home from a night of many laughs and fun. Other times I could come home with tears in my eyes that I had to hide from my mom. You would throw every curveball at me, and as soon as I thought, “I can trust now things will be good,” you liked to throw me on another roller coaster. This statement would prove to be more and more true as time continued on.

I will say though, you really like to finish your thoughts, you are very full circle! I thought I would never see some of the guest appearances we would randomly see out together again. Now look where they are. I couldn’t live without some. You were always funny like that, keeping me on my toes. We also completed a lot of milestones together. That was pretty cool! Except for the times we were nervous and the anxiety proved to be right. I guess being nervous for bigger steps in life is the reality of growing up.

At least we are done now. I’ve never been good at goodbyes, especially when so much has happened. However, I think this time I will be. I can’t be all mad you did teach me a lot of life lessons especially about people. I will learn from this relationship. So we are done, sorry. I think the feeling's mutual.

PS: I’ve found someone else (2023)

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Dear 2022,

I just can't keep doing this.

It's been fun, but it's also time I move on. I don't have a choice. While you've been a great year, I haven't forgotten your mis-steps and downright crimes.

I was really pumped when I heard that Kendrick Lamar and Beyonce were both releasing albums this year. I should have known that only a year like this could make two of my favorite artists release mid albums. While not directly affecting me, the Ukraine situation is an obvious tragedy that can't be forgiven, and that will likely be all you're known for.

Another complaint is the weather. Too hot. Too cold. Not enough rain. I know it's not easy having perfect weather year-round, but having it snow in March but not December? Seriously? How can we have a White Christmas, when it's 50 degrees and sunny out? The lack of rain this summer may have helped me, but my friend has a lawn-mowing business, and the drought caused him to lose substantial amounts of customers.

But even after all these wrongdoings, despite all the good things that came out of this year, I cannot forgive you for taking away both Bill Russell and Ray Liotta in the same year. Bill was a Civil Rights champion, and Ray inspired me to pursue film. Their deaths took a lot out of what was an otherwise  great year for me, and they make up only a fraction of the reasons I'm leaving you.

So I wish you the best, and I'm off to date a promising new year, 2023.

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Like any other relationship, everything starts well, but after you get to know each other, you begin to get to know more of each other, and when you start getting sick of it, everything starts going DOWN.

That's what happened between you and me in 2022.

I appreciated when you helped me and protected me from that weird boy that was disturbing me, the wedding of my parents, meeting new awesome people, getting more into reading and fictional shows, and going back home for a couple of weeks, which were unique and so heartwarming, and this boy who began to "intrigue" me more and more. When I decided to talk to him, you got angry. When you thought things were getting out of control, you decided to throw all your nuisances at me, causing me to have mental breakdowns and making me realize that I was being manipulated by one of my close friends because she wanted to be with the boy I like, who used me to her advantage to try to date the guy. Before seeing that, you made me stop talking to him, so now that I see him (which is every school day). I want to tell him what happened, but knowing you, you'll manipulate 2023 and make 2023 and my life miserable.

Oh, you also almost ended my friendship with my best friend from back home, then because you thought it wasn't enough for me, you decided to put the family in and make me deal with people that I dislike and see Every. Single. Day.  Thanks for making them destroy my peace and my patience, so we went to square one all over again.

There are even more problems that you already know very well.

Still, you let me continue in my irrational illusion.

Goodbye, 2022!

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2022,

Normally I would thank you for all of the memories I had with you, but honestly, I had none. I’ll probably completely forget that you even existed. In fact, I didn’t even realize it was 2022 until my birthday, and that was in September.

The only thing I learned from you is that it can’t get any worse. I mean, if I could survive 2022, I could make it through anything. Russia invading Ukraine, school shootings. What else could possibly happen?

Well actually, that was just the beginning. 10 years ago, nobody would’ve believed that gas prices would average five dollars a gallon. Queen Elizabeth, Bill Russell, Pele--all who died during this brutal year. The economy basically collapsed, and you still think we have a relationship. I can no longer stand the thought of you.

This year was a total disaster. If I had the opportunity, I would slap you across the face just like Will Smith. At least that was somewhat entertaining. I know this isn’t how I originally intended for this to go, but it is necessary. You need to understand that I no longer want you, and 2023 is a fresh start. I did my best to please you, but you couldn’t return the favor. The only time I was happy was when the ball was dropping, when I realized that I was finally free from your agonizing grasp. If you ever attempt to come back into my life, you will feel my wrath.

Goodbye, 2022! At first I felt sorry for this, but I truly don’t. You wasted what could have been my best year yet.

I wish you luck in finding someone who treats you well.

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You were a year, to say the least. I’ve had worse, but I deserve so much better. We had our good times, but you always had to ruin it. You never wanted to see me happy. Allowed me to believe good things are happening and then snatched them right away. Brought people into my life for them to hurt me and leave again. Made everyone lie, made me think they’d be good for me.

News flash: You knew they weren’t.

I don’t need your toxic energy. I can reminisce in the good times, but I would never wish for you back. You are not one of the worst I have experienced, but I am so sick of you.  I don’t know why you chose me to play your mind games on, but I did not appreciate it.

I deserve better than you gave me. I deserve more than my small glimpses of happiness. You only put faith in me so you could watch it all drain out of me over and over again, f*** you for that. I am done with your stupid games, I am done letting you hurt me. I know what I deserve and 2022, you were far from it.

Thank you for the good times, even though there were not many. You hurt me, but showed me how I deserve to be treated (which is much better). I hope you found peace in making my months miserable; I found peace in knowing i’m done with you. I will take with me the good parts you gave, but I will never turn around. I will say with confidence that I do not and will not miss you. You don’t deserve the patience I had with you or my optimistic outlook I tried to share.

You’re toxic, and nothing would change that. I am done trying to convince myself you could change, now I am walking away.

Goodbye, 2022, and f*** you.

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2022…I don’t even know where to start.

You fooled me in the beginning just like they all do. I mean, a new year means new resolutions, new goals, new memories. Everyone thought that, and so did I. That was until a repulsive pillow was thrown in my face, suffocating me for what felt like an eternity of nothing but boredom and disappointment.

Bill Russell, Queen Elizabeth II, Pele, Pope Benedict XVI. Have you seen these names before? Of course you have. These are none other than your latest victims. You couldn’t kill any of the terrible people in the world. Those who bring terror to this world such as Putin. But no, all you could possibly do was kill those who deserve to be on this planet.

Was it that hard to ask for you to be better than 2020 and 2021? Not at all. And yet you couldn’t complete the one job that was given to you. That’s just sad.

Back to idea of 2020. Are you so self-conscious that you can’t stand out a bit? Is introducing more COVID variants the only way to make you relevant? And what is up with all these random new diseases? “Monkeypox,” really? I see what you're doing, and I understand. You’re trying to stop the rise in human population, and I give you kudos for the attempt, but it doesn’t work like that. Soon, you’ll be as irrelevant as the first-ever created telephone.

Let’s be honest here...you were never good for me or anyone. We will all watch you try to hold on to 2023, before swiftly vanishing from Earth just like your latest victims. It has only been a few days, and 2023 is already looking better.

Hopefully I never have to see you again.🫡