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I walked outside to do my assignment after getting scolded by my mom saying it was dangerous to go outside alone. (I live in a very safe neighborhood and this playground is less than a minute away from my house) My mom's over protectiveness had always been an issue which limited my learning and growth and in a way it's one of my traumas. I talked to a professor about this and they helped me build confidence in myself to step outside of the comfort zone my mom always forced me in. In the past other students and teachers would judge my sheltered behavior and sometimes make fun of me for it. I'm glad that I'm starting to grow out of it. There are different responses to trauma. I think the first step is acknowledging that it is trauma and then taking the time to understand it. In my case, it's quite easy to say I lived under a rock rather than realizing I needed help from my mom. After that, someone can really help nurture the person to take steps in the right direction. After this ritual, I felt like I had a deeper understanding of myself. I had a sense of peace. While getting tans are considered ugly in Filipino culture, I can't help but think that my professor would smile seeing my slight tan knowing that I'm taking the initiative to go outside now.

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This process at first was intimidating for me, as I like to keep quite busy when it comes to creating, and I find myself becoming easily stressed out by the workload I create for myself. But then I realized that I actually have been engaging in this ritual for years. For this exercise I chose to revisit one of my favorite paintings in the NGA; La Coiffure by Henri Matisse. I have sketched this drawing dozens of times, I have every line and shadow memorized to the bone. The strange thing is, while it's a beautiful painting, it's not the painting itself that draws me to it. It's the room that it lives in. If you've ever been to the National Gallery of Art, you know that it can get quite crowded sometimes, and I can often get annoyed and overwhelmed by crowds. This room, however, it different. I'm not sure what the actual name of the gallery is, I just call it the "Matisse Room." It's a tiny little room to the right of the exit in the East building, anyone who doesn't already know that it's there would miss it. This room has maybe a dozen artworks, soft lighting, and a single wooden bench placed directly in front of La Coiffure. It is almost always completely empty, and incredibly quiet. It is the most peaceful place I have ever been to, and I am so incredibly fortunate to have it right at my front door while growing up. When I do this ritual, I sit on this bench with no music, and I sit and stare at this one painting. Most times I will try to draw it, but sometime's I don't find that necessary. I find that it really gives me a chance to soak up this one painting, to wonder what she's getting ready for, to study the lights and the shadows, and to really understand that Matisse painted this with his own hands. Growing up with daily access to these incredible works of art, it's easy to think of them as just recognizable paint that you've seen on a poster somewhere. This process really helped me to remember that these paintings meant something, both before and currently. These artists painted these, stroke by stroke, which something in mind, some sort of message or image that they needed to get out into the world. Staring at any painting for an hour will bring up endless questions about it, and perhaps you may even come up with the answers yourself if you stare long enough.

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I feel like I'm starting to become more present and familiar to the world around me. Compared to last time I sat against the sunset so the sun would stop blinding my eyes, and I noticed things that weren't there before. Everyone is living their own life with their own aspirations and goals... There was one guy who did 6 loops around the neighborhood on his bicycle and an older woman walking over a mile and resting on the playground bench across from me. I also took a video of a geese couple, but sadly Padlet wouldn't allow me to upload a video. I learned that geese eat grass like cows! I had always painted the world to be crueler and dangerous because of the fear mongering my mother told me as well as social media, but it's actually very beautiful and kinder than expected. While I was mainly homeschooled, I think that public education tends to reflect the society surrounding it and it sometimes feeds into each other as they teach that society's values to the coming generations. I also recall seeing this one video comparing the wealth gap between Baltimore County and Baltimore City schools while showing the stats for each one. While they're so near to each other, they are drastically different in terms of facilities and in turn opportunities. This may sound grim, but I also see a positive side to it. I've had some teachers that are outliers in the society, and they have given me many perspectives different to the values I had before. I've been changed for the better through education. I believe teachers have the power to make an positive impact on students, and those students become the future society.

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I sat outside early this morning and spent some time drawing nature with a fountain pen a friend gifted me. It was a brisk morning and pretty quiet, with just the birds chirping and my headphones to accompany me. It was quite relaxing to take a moment outside and slowly build up the shape of the tree I was drawing. Drawing with a fountain pen is also pretty rhythmic and soothing to me, so it was a nice breather before I needed to get started on a very busy day of work. As I was sketching, a little bird came up to the bottom of the tree and I had to pause on the tree branches in order to capture it. It was cute watching it hop around before flying off. I was drawing the tree vaguely trying to mimic the artstyle of Kamome Shirahama, one of my favorite artists. She’s the author of my favorite manga series, Witch Hat Atelier, which focuses heavily on teacher and student relationships and the responsibility of adults to protect and teach children. Thinking about her art and story while drawing made me reflect on trees as a metaphor for teaching. Are teachers like the gardener that waters and takes care of the tree, helping it to grow into a beautiful and strong adult? Or are teachers the tree itself and the students the seeds that fall from their branches that get carried away by the wind to grow to adulthood elsewhere? I’m kind of inclined to the second idea. Teachers have a unique ability to connect with all kinds of students and experiences, just like a tree can spread its roots and branches to far-reaching places. Teachers represent a stable point a student can always return to, even after they grow up and continue their education/life elsewhere. A tree’s seeds getting carried away by the wind or animals is not unlike a student graduating, traveling to a new city, finding new friends or mentors to guide them in life. No matter where that seed ends up, though, it has the essence of the tree that first raised them inside. The teachers that educate us leave little marks on us that shape us into the adults we become today.

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Whilst preparing to do my ritual, I noticed that I haven't had as much time to spend this semester on my personal work. This assignment is engaging for me because I get to re-introduce an artform that I felt familiar and comfortable with. It helps me remember how important it is to have goals and hobbies outside of your academics or job. I’ve found a lot of comfort in 3D work because of how versatile and customizable it is. It feels great to recreate something that existed in your mind, and make it into a visual reality, especially one so engaging for myself. I was excited to make my 3D render, most definitely because of my excitement for an upcoming project. Making such creations is not only a mental escape from things like burnout and tiredness, it is also a way to make something your own, or your own virtual world. The learning curve has been large, but it gives me insight on how one can teach themselves, or rely on help from others within a community. This ritual not only challenges me to get better at my rendering skills, but also mentally prepares me for challenges I may face while teaching others, or may run into in my creative career.

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Ritual no 1.

For my first two rituals, I got so absorbed in the act of making my work that I forgot to take progress photos until I reviewed the rubric and started writing.

For my first ritual, I was really struggling to make time to go out and draw on my own so I took some time out of a field trip my figure drawing class took to Penn Station to complete my ritual. I sat apart from my friends and peers and captured a moment with the people and architecture of the station that I found visually interesting. I really enjoy the arched windows at the station, especially the two that curve along the corners of the structure. I was lucky to have quite a few people sitting by these windows while I was there so I jumped at the opportunity to draw them.

I used to work primarily in fountain pens with a bit of marker in my sketchbooks, but for the past few years it’s been difficult to make time to do so. I decided to use these rituals to my advantage and revisit a practice that used to be very common for me, and has always been incredibly comforting. I worked with these materials a lot in the later years of my high school career so it also occurred to me that it might help me reflect on my school life if I used them for my rituals.

I’m not confident that I have great anecdotes about whether or how trauma-informed teaching influenced my educational life. My personal experiences with trauma-informed teaching came in high school when certain issues in my personal life became too tough to manage without interfering with my academic life. COVID played a huge role in shifting the mindsets of many teachers I think. So many students were coping with so many different issues that teachers were forced to not only come up with unconventional teaching methods due to the pandemic, but come up with new methods of supporting students. I was not very open with my teachers about my issues, but many of them could tell something was happening and offered me extra grace when it came to my assignments and deadlines. I always appreciated the extra support because at the time I did not have a lot of experience with managing stress and anxiety – which deadlines really exacerbated.

I think my personal education experiences have always felt culturally responsive to me as a white middle class person. As I’ve gotten older and especially as I’ve begun to reflect/analyze my education experiences in college, I can tell that many of my peers have not been able to say the same. One of my goals as a teacher is to learn how to break from the biases that my education held onto, and continues to.

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For my second ritual, I went out on a nice day to the Founder’s Green courtyard to sketch some people and trees. There was one tree in particular I really wanted to capture, but I will come back to that because I chose a different view where I could actually get a person in the composition, even if it’s not a very great one.

I had a few floating thoughts while I was drawing but not many, because what I’ve always loved about doing this kind of thing is how my brain gets really quiet and I feel as though I’m not thinking about anything at all. One of my thoughts was how nice it is to have an excuse to go out and work like this during one of the busiest times of my year. If we weren’t assigned these rituals, I likely wouldn’t have been able to give myself this kind of break. I was also thinking about how nice it was to not be worrying about how my work was turning out, there are a lot of things about my drawing that would’ve made me want to start over, such as perspective and inking errors. Since this assignment isn’t graded based on my drawing ability, it helped me let go of all of those pressures and made the process a lot more relaxing. I was also thinking about how cold I was. Despite it being really warm out, I sat in the shade and it was incredibly windy out! Although I was uncomfortable and shivering, I didn’t want to stop drawing! I had some incoherent and incomplete thoughts that followed which were vaguely about hoping I can have students with that kind of passion in the future, and gratefulness that I still feel this way about art.

How does society affect public education and how does public education affect society…

I think the two work as a cycle, society has its standards and expectations for public education (public education is also dependent on society for funding), and in turn the students who come out of that system are raised with similar values, standards and expectations that founded the school. So, if society is set up in such a way that uplifts certain students and doesn’t do enough for others, the same is likely to happen in society at large.

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For this week's reflection, I decided to go to the BMA and sketch out a few of the sculptures that called out to me. I stood directly in front of the pieces, surrounded by large groups, tour guides, and families. While the setting was far more chaotic than I am used to, I found myself being able to completely block out the external noise and focus on the pieces themselves. I challenged myself to leave my headphones at home, and to remove the distracting noises myself. I discovered that I was able to focus completely on the sculpture and its form, and on the other hand be able to let go and not worry about it looking exactly identical. I think using a pen instead of a pencil really helped with this. After awhile, the noises no longer bothered or distracted me, and I strangely began to realize that they were actually quite lovely in a way. Here, in this busy, noisy room, everyone was connecting about the same thing; art. The chatter that I once found distracting turned into a beautiful conversation among strangers. As people chattered about their own opinions and questions, there was a real sense of connection among all of us strangers. Some people even stopped me to ask me about what I was doing (which I normally don't enjoy!) and all of a sudden we weren't strangers anymore. I also took some time to set up the chess table to play against myself, just as my dad and grandfather did themselves many years ago. After doing this for a bit, a lovely older gentleman stopped by and struck up a conversation, and we played a few games. While I know this doesn't necessarily fit into the reflections assignment, but I thought it was a lovely interaction that I wouldn't have had if I had elected to stay home instead.

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I took a night stroll a few nights ago, and while walking, I realized it was so bright out because it was a full moon.
Looking upon the clouds, some of them started to swirl and create odd shapes, as if it were about to rain despite the air being hot and dry. Some made thin whisps, while others clotted into giant swirls and peculiar anomalies.
Even if it is only nature, it felt like there was someone controlling the way these clouds moved. It's ironic, considering I love to create smoke in my art, and it represents the kind of art style and choice that I carry into my work. I decided to implement those clouds during the full moon into my sketch. There is a person included in the middle, since I believe that everything has a reason, and those clouds were shaped into whisps just for me.

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Ritual #2

I got a call from one of my long-distance friends around dusk. Since I knew it would be a longer call, I decided to go for a walk. While in the middle of conversation, I felt a smell in the air that brought me back to my childhood. It is like a scent that brings you back many years ago when things were not difficult, and there were no responsibilities. And yet, I felt stressed out with all the assignments I had going on. Despite this, I felt at ease for the first time in a while- since I could remember. Listening to his voice, and what we were talking about, it reminded me that the time we have in the present should not be rushed. After I went back to my dorm, it was decided that I would go back to my roots and do what I like doing for myself, rather than just an assignment that will not do me any good in the future. Before I had even started college, I would make clay dinosaurs as a hobby, but people ended up really loving them, so I decided to start selling them. Getting a whiff of my childhood mixed with the voices of people who have stuck with me since then motivated me to create the things I loved to spend my time on. And so, I created dinosaurs. It is funny saying that aloud, but when you take the time, effort, and practice- a whole lot of practice- to make them, it becomes a part of you, despite how silly they look.

I never thought I would create anything in a ceramic medium back then, but it taught me that learning new mediums could spark a new interest. I will take that with me wherever I go, even if I am stubborn about learning something out of my league. Because to me, making something outside of a comfort bubble can open opportunities that would not have even been thought of before. And with my dinosaurs, not only does it bring me happiness, but it brings happiness to other people too. I would like to find comfort in the things that link back to my childhood, so that I can take it with me, and share it with those who want to learn from me.

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Last week, I went on a field trip to the Baltimore County Agricultural Center for my Ecology/Cosmology class. We got a tour of the park and got to see a bunch of the different animals they take care of there. I took some time after the tour was over to draw some of the animals and take in the nature around me. It was a very relaxing and rejuvenating field trip! My favorite animals were the cows (they had three different types, included in my photos), though the goats were really cute too (I love their rectangular pupils). It was my first time seeing cows up close like this; normally I just see them in a distant field as I drive by on road trip. My favorite cow was the dairy cow, who I drew in my sketchbook. This particular cow was a Holstein, which is the most common type of dairy cow. I was shocked by how large they are! He was taller than me when he stood up. I consume a lot of dairy, so it was kind of beautiful to get to know the animal that produces those products (though not technically this cow, as he was a male lol). His hair was surprisingly soft when I pet him as well. All of the animals on the farm are kept for demonstration purposes for education about agriculture and farm animals. None of them are actively producing any dairy/meat/etc, but we got to learn about the animals and how they are fed, cared for, etc. It really helped me form an even deeper respect for the food I consume. I’m not vegetation/vegan in the slightest, but I do think it’s very important to be mindful and respectful towards the animals you are consuming from. Getting to know some of these animals more closely and actually petting them (at least the ones we were allowed to touch) was very grounding to me. I appreciate all they do for me and all the food I’m able to eat because of their efforts.

Our tour guide (who I am unfortunately forgetting the name of) was a wonderful teacher, too! She was very informative and I learned so much about animals and farming practices from her. It was a really unique learning experience for me and I learned things I would’ve never thought to ask/research had I not gone on this field trip. I have a lot of respect for the people that raise and care for animals, and I’m very grateful to absorb even a fraction of their knowledge! It’s a field so different from anything I study, so I really appreciated getting to listen to an expert in a subject I knew nothing about.

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It took me a while to figure out what I wanted my ritual assignment to be, usually the artwork that I create for classes is very thought out with a ton of planning, so trying to come up with something more low effort to be produced every week proved to be a challenge. After thinking back at my assignments from the past semester, the diary comics I did in my narrative words and pictures class seemed like a good idea, but I tended to over think those as well, so what I landed on creating a mini zine about something that was on my mind that happened during the week on a piece of my sketchbook paper, with no outline, thumbnailing, or scripting. Despite the format of a zine being one that I’m comfortable with, the idea of making a narrative in such a short amount of time seemed like a fun challenge for me.

What I did for my first ritual was create a zine about the building academic pressure I experienced with finals nearing. Most of my finals were announced that week and it really had me stressed out so I wanted somewhere to channel that energy. With how this relates to the think-about question, I think that it highlights my experience as a student who has ADHD in an educational setting who struggles with getting assignments done and focusing for long periods of time, which many children in K-12 also struggle with. However the educational system that reflects our society deem these students to not want it (success) enough, leaving students with trauma that carries with them throughout their lives. That's what I’m writing my paper on too because it's really important to me that students that face the same struggles that I do can get the support they need.

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I did this week’s ritual at a friend’s dorm after finishing up an art market event I had done that weekend, Zinefest. In preparation for this event involved a lot of preparation and creating visuals and I wanted to use the opportunity to create my mini zine for the week’s ritual to be about how that experience went in a way that was short and sweet and didn’t spend too much time trying to explain every thought in my head, which is what I normally try to do when describing things that I’m involved in.

Relating this back to education, I feel as though without my experience with art in high school, I don’t think I would be at a point where I was confident enough to do an event like that, especially not more than once. Although I had art teachers that were skeptical about my work, the teachers outside of the art department really liked my work and would show them as examples for future classes. I feel like those experiences really built my confidence with my artwork and the idea that people could enjoy my work, even if it wasn’t for everyone. While not directly related to guided lesson plans, those experiences in high school made me brave enough to attend an event like that, and put my work into the world and have an effect on society, just like many other creatives who have similar experiences to me.

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When I think of who I am as a teacher and the kind of educator that I would like to be, the answer has always been simple; someone who cares. I truly loved each and every one of my students, good and bad days in all. A good educator for me is someone who puts themselves to the side in order to let their students shine through. For my visual component, I decided to do exactly that. In the above image, I included many of my student’s artwork that I have collected over the years. While looking through them, I found that I remembered which student did which one, and I remember the exact day that they did them. I remember them being incredibly fascinated by Procreate, and had a great time exploring the many different brushes and effects they could do. At first, they just did random lines and squiggles, testing out the waters. After a few minutes of exploring however, I was incredibly pleased to see them taking their time choosing colors and brushes they liked, and I saw many of them take great care in what they were creating. Not only did they love creating themselves, but they loved watching each other draw and began giving one another feedback and compliments completely unprompted. It was a wonderful thing to witness, and I, as a teacher, really didn’t do anything except give them the opportunity to create and explore. If you give a student the tools to excel, they will do the rest. That is my job as an educator at its core; to give students the best tools and guidance I can and to step aside as they shine on their own.

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I’ve become too reliant on my teachers. At first I thought I was just being a diligent student— getting my work done on time, prioritizing school above anything else, and always seeking guidance. However, I’ve become reliant on them. Always looking towards them to see if what I was doing was right, and always trying to create work that would please them. Eventually, I realized that while I was focused on my craft, I unknowingly distanced myself away from my peers.

I’ve always found it easier to talk to the teacher than to the other students, at least during my time in public and church school. They are people who have much valuable experience and knowledge than I could ever comprehend. I enjoy listening to their nuggets of wisdom and asking questions. However, I realize now that they could never replace the role that “friends” have in one’s life, yet I’ve been substituting that role with the mentor figures in my life.

All of my shortcomings— my inability to have my own intuition, making decisions for myself, and to make friends —have been under the disguise of being “a good student.” I believe this comes from my Asian background. The parents always make the decisions and reward obedience without question. It’s hard wired into me.

It reminds me of this one story I’ve heard long ago, but I can’t remember where it came from. A young traveler went to a zen master in search of peace. At first the traveler challenged the master’s teachings, but over time he started to agree with the master more and more- seeking for the master's validation. Eventually, the master told the traveler to leave. The master explained it’s because the traveler would only grow to become like him rather than himself, and one of the main components to attaining true peace is to stop caring about what others think. Including his master. The master told the traveler to leave and lose his way. Perhaps then he would be ready. From that story, I think I should also “lose my way” and not be afraid to make my own decisions and mistakes. Perhaps there is a moment when a student should become their own teacher, and I believe that’s my next step.

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For this week's reflection, I decided to go outside of my comfort zone and draw some live drawings of people at Penn station. I sat for an hour or so, and tried my best to focus on my drawing and block out the rest of the noises of the busy station. Fortunately, a gentleman was sleeping perfectly still, so I was able to get his likeness pretty okay on the page. Then, I was forced to challenge myself to draw moving subjects, which has always been a difficulty for me. As I sat in this bustling station, I began to wonder about the people I was capturing on the page. Where are they going? Where are they coming from? Are they excited to go home to their families, or did they just have a tearful goodbye? Maybe they're going on their first trip away from home, and they're filled with nervous energy. Whatever the answers may be, I will never know. It really made me think about how strangers aren't really strangers. Everyone is a human, everyone has a story. Everyone is going somewhere, and coming from somewhere. This has always fascinated me about the human population. We are all so focused on ourselves and our own stories, that we often forget that everyone we meet are in the same boat. Sometimes I wish I had struck up more conversations with people, just to learn a little bit more about them and make them a little bit less of a stranger. I think that the world would be a slightly better place if we all just took the time to get to each other a little bit better.

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For my third ritual assignment, I had postponed working on it for a while due to feeling unwell. Eventually I had to do it despite how I felt, but I preferred to stay inside. Still wanting to connect with nature in some way, I spent some time drawing the dried flowers my friend had hung up, and a photo of a bumblebee on a flower I took recently. The latter is very emotional for me as my mother has always reminded me of bees, and very recently she has dealt with the loss of one of her parents, both of which have now passed this year.

When working on these drawings I couldn’t help but think of how difficult it must be for a teacher to support students who are dealing with regular periods of physical and mental struggle, especially those who are dealing with grief. Many students are forced to go to school regardless of how unwell they are, or their situations at home might make them feel worse if they stayed, so they are stuck in an uncomfortable situation. I’ve been wondering how to manage a situation where one student is clearly struggling. I think the solution(s) depend on the age group but would likely all involve reaching out to the school’s guidance counsellor for support. I think the powerful thing about an art class is that it can become a place of refuge for many students, and by doing small things in addition to providing a positive environment, such as having a low sensory room, it could absolutely benefit a student who is struggling. On the other hand, for students who have never connected with art before, being required to participate might reaffirm ideas they are struggling with, such as, what is the point of participating in something I don’t even enjoy?

I’d be interested in reading and listening to other educators who have experience in this subject to learn what they were able to do to support their students. I think that it’s important for all teachers to regard their students as people, and not merely vessels for learning. Teaching with empathy is incredibly important.

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For my final ritual, I drew some flowers I saw in a neighbor’s yard when I returned home for a brief visit. This is my first semester at MICA and prior to this I did a lot of walking in my neighborhood to get to community college since I cannot drive. There were many days where I felt the walk was grueling and boring but there were equally as many that were relaxing and therapeutic, especially those in the spring when I got to draw and photograph all of the beautiful flowers and plants growing around me. Although my visit wasn’t all that long, I am so grateful to have been able to experience so much nature!

I think my rituals have all related to perception and using observational drawing as a meditative practice. Throughout the drawing process my thoughts quiet down and I can work in silence if I wish, or I can begin contemplating different questions and ideas we have covered in this course. I have really benefited from this practice because it has allowed me to experience my practice in a way I have not done with such intent before. I can see myself creating a habit out of these rituals, to provide myself with much needed relaxation, self reflection, and meditation, especially during a stressful time.

I have thought a lot about who I will be as a teacher throughout this course and especially during these rituals. I want to be a teacher who is patient, wise, and empathetic, someone who puts the needs of their students first. I think with exercising self reflection and providing opportunities for quiet and stress regulation, I could manage to achieve some of those goals. Teaching won’t be easy, and there will no doubt be many instances where I struggle and doubt my ability, but with tools and habits to regulate my emotions, I am confident I could learn to deal with inevitable hardships.

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This semester, I have had a lot of time to reflect on things going on around me and how I want to approach challenges I may run into in the future. Being able to slow down time in a way and take a moment to think is something I’ve always appreciated being able to do. I feel as though it could be something incredibly helpful, not just for me but even for educators and students. Life can be very unpredictable, especially for young and upcoming children. To give them the chance to pause and reflect can be crucial for their developmental growth, understanding of themselves, and better prepare them for the future.

When I consider the different ways of reflection, I think of the different ways students may enter the classroom, all with differing opinions, emotional states, and perspectives of their peers around them as well as their learning environments. All of these things can be very influential of how their day will go, and how they may react to challenges that may arise around them. The act of consideration and reflection will always be valuable within all aspects, especially those of education and learning environments.

This week I decided to do another render, unrelated to my animation project. While still a somewhat simple process, I still really enjoyed the outcome and experimentation I got to experience with lighting and posing. I find this way of exporting models incredibly fun and simple, while still being something that could become much more complex depending on skill level, giving me motivation to experiment more in the future, and branch out my skill set.

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This week was very productive for me. Because I didn’t have many other assignments due this week, it gave me a lot more time to consider what I wanted to do, and what I personally wanted to create. I poured a lot of extra time and effort into my project, and it gave me something interesting to do when I was bored, or feeling unmotivated. While working, I had a lot of time to consider what I liked and didn’t like about the learning process, and things I wanted to change or learn in the future. This goes back to reflection, and taking time to consider what you want, how you feel, and how you want to proceed. Making work you are proud of is typically motivation to make more, but it is still important to find that motivation even if you are not perfectly satisfied with what you’ve made. Art should also be appreciated for the process, not just results, I believe that is something students should know.

Having a creative interest that is considerably important to you, or a passion of sorts can be something that is incredibly valuable within a person’s life. I believe this could be regarded within education and could be the difference between doing something for yourself, and doing something because you were instructed to. When youth are encouraged or to be creative, it can challenge their abilities and thought processes, and potentially lead them towards something they find great comfort or passion in. Preparing them now for exploration gives them a more solid foundation for discovery.

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I was quite busy this week, I spent a lot of time thinking about possible future projects, whilst simultaneously working on other things. Sometimes the ideas may come faster than you can reenact them, or they might lose your interest before you really consider them. When your mind is constantly full of thoughts and ideas, it can be overwhelming or confusing what course of action you want to take next. This concept can be applied to younger students, especially those who seem to be unengaged or having difficulty following instructions. These thoughts once again returns my focus towards moments of reflection and consideration, and how those skills can be applied within learning spaces. Many young children may have a lot going through their mind at one given moment, and I believe in the importance of giving them permitted time to explore their thoughts, feelings, and awareness of their surroundings, as it is something that will help them develop new skills and support themselves in the long run.

This makes me think more deeply while considering the different learning approaches that are available or needed depending on a students needs. Disengagement can show up or be perceived in many different ways, such as confusion, disruptions, or disinterest. These things can happen for a multitude of reasons, and can affect the learning of other students. Instead of treating all students exactly the same, it is more valuable to learn and understand each students individual learning capabilities and creative skills.

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I did another tree study this week. This one had a little squirrel in the branches! I was very happy to be able to capture him in my drawing before he moved. While drawing, I was listening to the soundtrack for one of my favorite games of all time, Outer Wilds. It’s an open-world space exploration game that utilizes puzzles, exploration, and a non-linear plot to tell a story about friendship, the inevitability of fate, rebirth, and connection. You play as an unnamed alien going on their first voyage to space, and the game is about exploring the planets in your solar system to uncover knowledge about an ancient species called the Nomai that lived before you.  Since it’s an open world game, you can explore the different planets in whatever order you’d like. This means that each player uncovers knowledge about the Nomai and experiences the storyline in a completely different order. Every player has their own curiosities about what to explore first. When I played the game, I was most interested in uncovering the bigger picture of what the Nomai were researching and the end goal of the game. When my sister played, she spent the beginning focused on understanding the inner workings of the Nomai and how they function as a species. Completely different ways of approaching the game, but we both still reached the same conclusions and got to the same ending. In a lot of ways, this gameplay style reminds me of teaching. Every student has their own way of learning, their own way of doing things, their own topics that interest them and spark their curiosity. Learning how to nurture and guide students to explore the world in their own way while still giving them the tools to succeed is something teachers have to be able to do. I remember watching my sister play Outer Wilds and getting so frustrated with how long it took her to piece together certain parts of the game’s lore or with how much she struggled on a particular puzzle solution. But then there’d be moments when she’d put together something I didn’t realize until near the end, or she’d come up with a theory I had never considered. It’s easy to get used to your own way of thinking, but the beauty of humanity is that we all have different perspectives. To be a good teacher, I think it’s important to remember to have patience for those different ways of thinking. There’s something to learn from every new approach to learning!

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I was really captivated by how many branches this tree had and thought it’d be a fun challenge to draw. This particular tree had a lot of twisty, overlapping branches and it was very easy to lose track of what I was drawing. After trying to accurately copy the first few branches but continuously getting lost in the contours of the tree, I opted to go for a more gestural approach and draw my lines in a way that captured the essence of what I was observing instead of the literal tree. I focused less on accuracy and instead focused on emphasizing the wide curves, the branching wood, the way the branches blended together in the shadows and I couldn’t tell if they were in front or behind each other. I had a lot of fun letting go of strict realism for this sketch. I think this is a lesson to apply to teaching. Teaching is so intimidating to me that I instinctively want a manual to follow. I want step-by-step instructions on what to do, a concrete lesson plan, a time-blocked schedule. However, based on what I’ve learned and observed this semester, no matter how much planning and preparation you do, the classroom will always throw something unexpected at you. There’s of course value in organization and planning, and teaching definitely requires it, but conning yourself to strict structure can do more harm than good I think. I think it’s important to have a plan and expectations as a guide, but to not lock yourself into that method. Leaving room to adjust your teaching based on the situation or student is important, too. In the way that I used the tree as a reference for what to draw but didn’t stress about following it exactly, teaching requires you to be able to know the rulebook but also know when to step back and trust in your experiences first.

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For this week, I made another dinosaur. I got into the groove of making more of these guys now that I realize-

1: I am really good at making them.

2: It is a part of me that originates from home.

Most of the time when I work, I am often alone. I start to think about those who watched me grow as an artist, and as a person. My biggest motivation to continue pursuing what I like is my brother, who has watched me create countless pieces to hang on the wall. We grew up playing Zelda and other video games, but that one stuck to us the most. We hated hearing adults say the famous words, “games will rot your brain!” It has been said time and time again, yet I disagree. That was the one thing that had motivated me to create for all these years, and it still does. And so, it stuck with me even in my career path. The next generations will grow up with video games, and it will continue to flourish in the art world. Even today, I still play video games with my brother, and we string ideas from each other on storytelling, narration, direction, and the art displayed throughout the game. Now looking back on it, if I did not have video games, I don’t know where my life would be at this very moment. But it can’t be better than making dinosaurs.

While making this mold, I remembered what my brother and I talked about during the week. How video games influence many real-world discussions; ranging from politics, economics, community, war, religion, and so forth. Despite what may be good and bad, it sheds a new light and perspective on players. If we can continue with in-depth story games, we can immerse players into an experience that could change the trajectory of their life. With that, I made a Dinosaur that happens to also be the Hero of Time.

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With the last two weeks of school, I’ve begun to feel homesick. Not in the way where I want to see people, but I just miss it when I do not need to do any work. But on top of that, I really miss my uncle.

Growing up, he was like a second father to me. I would see him every Thursday, playing Minecraft and eating the dinner he made every week for me and my brother. As we grew older and things gradually changed in life, we stopped seeing each other so often. Around this time, I also reunited with my father. Even though I see my uncle less, I still value him as my second father. For this week, I created a chef dino in his honor for taking care of me when I was growing up. I miss all of the dishes he made, and especially the cheesecake he made around the time I left for college. Every time I went over, he always made a charcuterie board, even if I wasn’t hungry. That’s how much he cared, even when I didn’t ask.

I hold this value to myself, and I wish that people understood why. It’s important to have a parental figure/guardian in a child’s life that pays attention. I’ve seen it in school, where students find themselves struggling inside due to the lack of a parent in their lives. Fathers, mothers, or just guardians who don’t pay attention. Their absence matters- and I hope that in the future, Gen Z parents will learn from the lessons of their parents, absent or not, and make future generations thrive. It is upsetting to see children struggle with negligent parents, and I hope that in the time that I become an educator, I see less of it.

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Spouzshmay Ritual #1: Contemplative Observation

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Spouzshmay Ritual #1: Contemplative Observation

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Finding a solid block of time to just sit and be present is rare, but sitting outside with my sketchbook felt incredibly grounding. For this ritual, I focused entirely on a single subject, exploring sunflowers through a mix of watercolor, marker, colored pencil, and graphite. I documented their physical details, tested out warm color palettes, and reflected on how artists like Van Gogh used them to communicate optimism, loyalty, and the vitality of nature. Drawing the intricate center of the flower and layering the yellow washes reminded me of the hours I spent gardening with my grandfather. Just like a seed cannot sprout if it is planted in bad soil or kept in the dark, schools struggle when society ignores the specific needs of a community. Society builds the rigid container that education is often forced to fit inside. Taking the time to just sketch and think reminded me that the core goal of teaching is always cultivation.

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Spouzshmay Ritual #2 Layering and Structural Tension

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Spouzshmay Ritual #2 Layering and Structural Tension

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Gathering these leaves and sitting down to arrange them gave me a much-needed break to just be present. I chose materials in different stages of life, from the bright green leaves on the left to the deep brown, brittle oak leaf anchoring the bottom. Layering them on a flat surface made me pay close attention to their different textures and limits. You have to handle a dried, decaying leaf much more carefully than a fresh, flexible one, or it will simply snap in your hands.

This tactile process perfectly captures the tension in this week's think about questions. Society brings an incredible variety of students into our public schools. They show up with different backgrounds, different needs, and different levels of wear from their outside environments. Just like these leaves, they cannot all be handled the exact same way. Yet society often expects the education system to take this organic, unpredictable group and press them neatly into a standardised framework. We are asked to arrange them on a flat background and measure them all by the exact same rubric. When the educational structure is too rigid and ignores the reality of the materials it is working with, the most fragile students end up breaking under the pressure.

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Working with pastels for this ritual was a physical and energetic process. I focused on the dynamic contrast between the bright, radiating yellow lines cutting through the dense, chaotic purple background. As I blended the colors, the central starburst shape made me think about the concept of taking up space. It does not ask for permission; it simply explodes outward to the edges of the paper.

This visual tension perfectly mirrors the shift in my teaching philosophy. Growing up in Lahore, my early education demanded that students remain quiet and contained. The system essentially asked us to shrink. However, through my current work in campus wellness and studying the Reggio Emilia approach, I now see that productive noise and big energy are signs of a healthy community. When we create relationally safe and culturally responsive spaces, we give students permission to be like those yellow lines. We allow them to push outward, claim their space, and shine brightly against whatever chaotic backgrounds they might face outside of school. My role is not to contain my students, but to help them radiate.

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The patient process of letterpress printing allowed me to slow down. As I layered the bold letters of "Baltimore" and watched the primary colours bleed together, I loved how they created entirely new hues in their shared spaces.

This mirrors the cycle between society and public schools. While society often separates people into isolated boxes, public education puts everyone on the exact same piece of paper. Building a classroom community means asking students to share space and learn from where their lives intersect.

Moving from Lahore to Baltimore taught me that "home" requires feeling seen and connected. If we create culturally responsive classrooms where students feel safe enough to overlap and share their true selves, they will carry that community back out into the world. My ultimate goal is to make the classroom feel like home, equipping students to build a more connected society.

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In an attempt to relate my ritual around the education sphere more, I decided to illustrate from life a fire alarm that can be found in classrooms. I also decided to shift from the style of creating zines to make the work feel more personal and in the moment. My decision to draw this fire alarm was to highlight my worries about what the teaching landscape might mean for myself and my students, specifically if there was a fire to break out in the school, or another situation that would be out of my control. As an educator, I’d of course do anything in my power to keep the students safe, but questions arose about my own safety. I was thinking about this because of a video that I saw on social media that led me to using it for my ritual because I feel very strongly on this topic.

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As my final ritual I decided to draw again from life but not just a single object, but my surroundings as I work on my finals with my friends. Staying up to finish assignments is something that many students face, not to mention in adulthood it’s vastly encouraged to work outside of work hours, especially in the teaching profession. It’s pretty much mandatory for the role. Working in the sound art lab as the sun rose outside, really put in perspective how much work that education and the workforce expect out of all of us, and I wanted to encapsulate that in this ink and graphite drawing I did in my sketchbook.

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For the first week's assignment, I wanted to compose myself around the tulips that had been blooming around Baltimore. I'm frequently drawn to the nature of Baltimore because it's so vastly different than what I experienced in Florida. This was on my mind pretty heavy because as I was composing this photo I was thinking a lot about my home and how as I get deeper into my academic and artistic career, my responsibilities cause me to become more and more tethered to Maryland, as opposed to Florida. Using Large Format for my ritual has made me have to be very slow and meditate, this time I chose to focus on the light of the Sun and how it was shining against my skin and the flowers. The return of the Sun has been very important for me because my seasonal depression gets very bad, especially now that I'm experiencing northern winters. The tulips felt like representation of a darker time ending.

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For the second week's assignment, I wanted to continue the practice of photographing myself in a different landscape, this time focusing on my yearning for a body of water I can access to simulate a life closer to the one I lived in Florida. I found it very meditative to compose myself in a setting so different than the landscapes I'm used to from Florida, but I wanted to continue exemplifying my feelings of homesickness by using the puddle to represent a "sliver" of Florida. Though I felt the relocation was necessary and definitely for my overall benefit, it's still hard to leave the place I've grown up in all my life. Every aspect of my day to day is different, from the birds I hear to the trees I see.

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For the third week, I wanted to bring the water motif to a head with a portrait of me dipping my palms into the water, representing my feelings of going back into the person I used to be every time I visited Florida, and trying to walk the line of enjoying my past life while not negating all of the reasons it made sense for me to leave in the first place. I also was inspired by depictions of Narcissus, seeing as how I was focusing on "self-reflection".

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For my last piece for the ritual, I wanted to document my split feelings of where "home" is now for me. I saw the shadows casted against the white wall of my house in Baltimore and was reminded of the teeth of a buzzsaw. I felt conceptually the idea of the white picket fence casting such an eerie shadow could encapsulate my feeling of the mental fissure I have between Florida and Baltimore.

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When I usually brainstorm during my early artmaking process, I try to consume as much different media I can where others release their own work. By being at a position where I can review and enjoy the work others make it allows me to firmly decide what sticks for me and I add on more to this process . This allows me to be apart of a creative process that I can easily manage and pull from when I eventually create my work. It's the pre-creative element of my process that leads into finalizing my own work, similar to a blueprint. This helps make it so that I have a basis when continuing on with my work and I treat it as its own part of the process.

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When trying to review the many artforms I tried to consume in my first week I thought about how I could use them within an actual piece of work. I wanted to expand upon these different frames of references and try to combine them into a single boundary of work. So when looking through the photography of Gordon Parks I decided to mesh how he depicted African-American life into a collage about himself. With each photo it makes up an aspect of life through how Parks saw fit and how different areas of black life were made at the time. By being able to put Park's work into a collage it helped me gain a stronger summary of how I'd discuss his work and that's through his grounded perspective within each photo as if each person held a certain position within something much larger, that being a whole nation of people during the time. By making these assumptions of Parks it helped me realize how every person within areas like school make up the entire environment without even knowing it. Putting this into a school, every student makes up the tone of a classroom and they all live with similar themes that make up that one enviornment.

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I was still fixated on the idea of using many different frames of references into a single work that ties each part together. With this I decided to create a collage of different paper from newsprints, biographies, and history books to create a makeshift paper. I focused on the idea of a home and use different cutouts that could make up where someone could live. Through the image of a house to the cutouts of different phrases, this collage should make up the themes of home and how that brings hospitality to people in their own experiences. This helps me think of the many external factors that we come from and I felt that it was important to share how that does create our own personalities due to how the different actions we do when were together might be made up by factors that make up the majority of our own lives despite only being with new faces for a short period of time.

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During my final few weeks of the semester, I realized that one of the works I was making resembles the general idea I wanted to utilize within the rituals. Similar to how I was blending multiple references or images into a single piece of work, this work is a culmination of people, where multiple different figures make up a full scale work with each person being a highlight. For this work I wanted to create a scene that includes multiple different people enjoying the space they have with one another. Each person whether dancing, hugging, playing, or doing any other activity are happy with one another, and its clear the space that they share is something they all want to be a part of. This space is something I have always wanted to lead myself with and I want to create environments in the future where the respect and happiness of each person is shared. I hope in the near future I can be a part of more areas where we can be happy, and I hope we can continue showering others through positivity to the point an entire environment/community of people are able to exist as themselves while supporting one another.