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We hope that you all have a restful and relaxing summer! We had a great year and thank you for sharing your awesome kids with us!

The counseling office will be open the week of June 3-6 and also on Monday, June 10th from 8:00 AM- 4:30 PM. We will return from our summer break on Monday, July 22nd.

The first day of school for the 2024-2025 year will be on Monday, August 12th. Be on the lookout on our school website (www.neisd.net/harris) or on our Facebook page Harris Middle School- North East ISD for before school events, like prep days.

Have a great summer!

The Harris Counseling Department

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We are so excited to welcome our 6th graders for the 24-25 school year!! We will post events and information on this padlet so that you are in the know for all things Harris!

Be sure to look on this padlet or the Harris website for information about beginning of the year prep days and parent meetings.

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We have enjoyed having you all as Harris Hawks and want to wish you the best as you begin your next chapter in high school!

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Enjoy your summer! Reminder- the first day of the 2024-2025 school year is Monday, August 12th. Be sure to check the Harris website throughout the summer for beginning of the school year events.

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We are working hard to help all of the 8th graders get their career plans ready for high school. This plan will be something they will continue to work on throughout their high school years. Please go into skyward and sign their degree plans.

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Need to make a change to your course requests for Madison next year? Click the link below to complete the Google form for your Madison counselor.

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Need to make a change to your course requests for Madison next year? Click the link below to complete the Google form for your Madison counselor.

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Mrs. Heisler, Mrs. Williams, and Mrs. Jones

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Madison Freshman can earn a certification while in high school in a variety of fields to include, EMT, Dental, Nursing, and more. The first step to complete the Health Science Endorsement is taking Principles of Health Science 8340. Principles of Health Science 8340 can also count as a health credit.

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8th grade course card for the 24-25 school year. 

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8th grade course card for the 24-25 school year. 

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7th grade course card for the 24-25 school year. 

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7th grade course card for the 24-25 school year. 

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6th grade course card for the 24-25 school year. 

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6th grade course card for the 24-25 school year. 

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7th grade students learn different coping skills with Mrs. Jones.

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7th grade students learn about different coping skills with Mrs. Jones.

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Different coping skills that 8th graders are learning about.

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Mrs. More talks with 8th grade students about different coping skills.

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The Harris Counseling Crew

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Mrs. Heisler talks with 6th graders about perspective and how to look at situations from different views during a guidance lesson.

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Mrs. Heisler talks with 6th graders about perspective and how to look at situations from different views during a guidance lesson.

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(Celia Jacobs For The Washington Post)

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Anxiety, for many people, is like an unwelcome houseguest - a lingering presence that causes tension, clouds the mind with endless "what ifs" and shows up as various physical sensations.

In my practice, I see many patients beaten down by anxiety. One patient said anxiety makes her heart hammer like a wild drum at the thought of public speaking. Another patient said anxiety makes him toss and turn all night, haunted by worries about his romantic future. And yet another patient said anxiety makes his stomach churn at the thought of confronting his underperforming team.
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They are not outliers. About 12 percent of U.S. adults regularly felt worry, nervousness or anxiety, according to a National Health Interview Survey conducted between October and December 2022.

Anxiety, though, is not the puppeteer pulling the strings in many of our lives. There is a more subtle and insidious one, and it's called psychological avoidance. When we avoid certain situations and decisions, it can lead to heightened anxiety and more problems.

Psychological avoidance is a way to avoid discomfort

Psychological avoidance is a quick fix to an uncomfortable emotion. It offers emotional relief, but the relief is fleeting and often comes at a heavy cost. Psychological avoidance is akin to an ostrich burying its head in the sand, choosing ignorance over confrontation, all while a storm brews in the background.

My client's social anxiety disorder - manifesting as a fear of public speaking - triggered a career detour into a lower-paying job. She's trading 25 percent of her potential income just to sidestep public speaking.

My other client's worry about future relationships made him lose sleep, which in turn led to tardiness and decreased productivity at work. The cost of mental health-related productivity loss is staggering. A study conducted by researchers within the World Health Organization estimates that depression and anxiety disorders cost the global economy $1 trillion each year in lost productivity.

And for my third patient, discomfort with confrontation caused him to overlook his team's performance issues, jeopardizing his company's success.

In each case, the real villain isn't anxiety. It is avoidance, a strategy that not only fails to solve problems but fuels them.

Psychological avoidance isn't about the actions we take or don't take, but the intentions behind them. If our actions aim to squash discomfort hastily, then we're probably  avoiding. For each of my clients, avoidance became a crutch, initially tempering their anxiety but progressively amplifying it. Psychological avoidance, rather than alleviating anxiety disorders, can exacerbate them.

Three patterns of psychological avoidance

Understanding the patterns of psychological avoidance is the first step toward change. Here are the three ways people tend to practice psychological avoidance.

Reacting is any response that seeks to eliminate the source of discomfort. It's when we reply hastily to an email that upsets us or raise our voices without considering the consequences.

We are engaging with the situation, but only to make the discomfort vanish quickly. Reacting often just fuels the fire, leading to even more problems. This often feels like operating a pressure cooker without a pressure valve.

Retreating

Retreating is the act of moving away or pulling back from anxiety-inducing situations. For example, my client with the fear of public speaking took a different job to avoid it. Others may reach for a glass of wine to numb out or scroll through social media feeds instead of facing a difficult conversation.

While it may feel good in the moment, this avoidance comes with a hefty price tag because it tends to increase anxiety, since the underlying situation is still there.

Remaining is sticking to the status quo to avoid the discomfort of change. Many of us cling to a job or relationship even when we know it's not good for us. Familiarity may breed comfort, but we are still stuck in the long run.

Strategies to overcome psychological avoidance

Psychological avoidance is a powerful enemy, but there are three science-based skills to fight it.

Shifting involves checking in with your thoughts, especially when anxiety comes knocking. In those moments, we often have black-and-white, distorted thoughts, just like my client, who was worried about being in a romantic relationship, telling himself, "I will never be in a good relationship."

Shifting is taking off dark, monochrome glasses and seeing the world in color again. Challenge your thoughts, clean out your lenses, by asking yourself, "Would I say this to my best friend in this scenario?" My client was able to change the way he talked to himself. Imagining what a friend would say, he thought to himself, "I have a lot to bring to relationships" and "I've had successful relationships in the past." Wearing these new glasses allowed him to sleep better at night and set him on a journey to pursue what matters most to him.

Approaching

The opposite of avoiding is approaching, which is not about charging at your fears head-on, but taking a step that feels manageable.

Ask yourself: What is one small step I can take toward my fears and anxiety to overcome my avoidance. My client volunteered to read a book to her son's classroom as the first step in overcoming her fear of public speaking. Even the smallest act of facing our fears can rewire our brain to deal with anxiety better, rather than sidestepping it.

Aligning is living a values-driven life, where our daily actions are aligned with what matters the most to us: our values.

This is the opposite of what most of us do while anxious. In moments of intense anxiety, we tend to let our emotions, not our values, dictate our actions. To live a values-driven life, we need to first identify our values, whether that is health, family, work or something else. Then we need to dedicate time and effort to our values.

Aligning actions with values can reduce anxiety and improve the quality of our lives.

The tendency to engage in psychological avoidance may be strong but by understanding its patterns and using the right strategies, we can navigate this challenge and come out stronger. Remember, it's not about being fearless, but about not letting fear dictate our lives.

Luana Marques, PhD, is an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, founder and director of Community Psychiatry Pride at Massachusetts General Hospital, and a former president of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. She is the author of "Almost Anxious: Is My (or My Loved One's) Worry or Distress a Problem?" and "Bold Move: A 3-Step Plan to Transform Anxiety into Power. "

We welcome your comments on this column at OnYourMind@washpost.com.

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You don't have to take 10,000 daily steps for good health.

For weight loss, feed your gut microbiome-high calories.

Avoidance can lead to more anxiety and problems.

Intergenerational trauma can explain poor mental health.

Older adults who feel young at heart may live longer, have better health.
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Advice | Avoidance, not anxiety, may be sabotaging your life

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Psychological avoidance is a quick fix to an uncomfortable emotion. It offers emotional relief, but it is fleeting and comes at a heavy cost.

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Reminder: You only need to apply for school choice for each level. If you child is a current 6th or 7th grader attending Harris on school choice, you do not need to apply for the upcoming school year. If your child is an 8th grader and you would like for them to go to Madison, but it is not their home campus, you will need to apply for school choice for next year.

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Pupil Personnel / North East ISD School Choice

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To compete with charter schools NEISD provides parents the option to request their student to be transferred to another school within our district.

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Madison High School / Madison High School | NEISD - San Antonio, TX

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Madison High School has taught in an environment where students can actively learn since 1976. Enroll your child at the NEISD school near you.

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Anna Ochoa- Counseling Clerk

210-356-4126

email: aochoa8@neisd.net

Jennifer Heisler- Counselor

Alpha for the 24-25 school year: 7th grade; 8th grade last names A-L

210-356-4128

email: jheisl@neisd.net

Jessica Williams- Counselor
Alpha for the 24-25 school year: 6th grade; 8th grade last names M-Z

210-356-4153

email: jwilli12@neisd.net

Yolanda Jones- Mental Wellness Counselor

All grade levels

210-356-4156

email: yjones@neisd.net

Edwina Harris- Data Processor

210-356-4130

email: eharri13@neisd.net

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Anxiety About Starting School: How to Help Young Children

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Starting school can be scary for young kids. Hear from experts on how to help your child feel less nervous and anxious as the new school year begins.

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Back-to-school anxiety is normal and understandable. Many kids may feel anxious about going back to school after a long summer break. Others may feel nervous about starting school for the first time.

Regardless of what the case may be, parents can help ease the transition back to school by being able to recognize the symptoms of stress and anxiety and implementing some creative strategies.

Reasons Kids Might Be Stressed or Anxious

Some kids' worries are rooted in a fear of the unknown, especially if they will be in a new building or a new school district. They also may be worried about making friends or have concerns about the workload and whether or not they have the skills needed to be successful.

COVID-Related Concerns

For students who spent months out of traditional in-person classrooms due to the COVID-19 pandemic, going back to school may feel extra intimidating or even scary. This may be especially true if they had classes online throughout the entirety of 2020.

They might be worried about everything from wearing masks and being unvaccinated to wondering if they will still have the same friends after being gone so long. They also may feel uncertain about what school will be like now and whether or not they will even know their way around.

Concerns About Friends, Bullies, and More

Sometimes, kids are anxious or worried about the upcoming school year because of experiences with bullies. For many kids, this time away from school was a welcome reprieve from mean behavior and cutting remarks. So, as the new school year approaches, they may begin to worry that they will have to go through the same experiences again.

Kids also might be stressed about appearance-related issues. Children from underserved communities and/or those living in poverty may worry about not having the right clothes or supplies. Other kids may worry about how others will view them especially if they have experienced weight changes, are now wearing glasses, have developed acne, or have recently gone through puberty.

Other common stressors include having a falling-out with a close friend, getting cut from a sports team, dealing with a new learning environment, being assigned to a difficult teacher, and not getting into higher-level courses.

COVID-19 and Kids' Stress Levels

COVID-19 continues to top the list of reasons why kids are experiencing increased anxiety and stress. Many kids and teens are experiencing feelings of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty as they struggle to come to terms with the continued experience of living through the pandemic.

Even as many parts of life are opening up and returning to "normal," kids may still be harboring fears. It's not uncommon for people-including young people-to struggle with psychosocial issues following outbreaks of infectious diseases.

For instance, a study of the aftermath of an Ebola outbreak found that an increased number of people reported experiencing mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Meanwhile, another study conducted following the outbreak of the swine flu found that children receiving mental health care are particularly psychologically vulnerable to epidemics like COVID-19.

Not only have they been limited in terms of who they can see and spend time with, but they also have had to deal with grief over many of their favorite activities being canceled. Likewise, many families have experienced increased economic hardship or uncertainty due to the pandemic. And, some students have had relatives get sick or even die from COVID-19. Both of these scenarios can leave kids feeling stressed and anxious.

Even if these situations don't apply to your family, your kids may know someone who has had these experiences. Naturally, these realities (or simply worrying they may happen) can create a lot of stress, which some kids may direct into anxiety about going to school.

Most kids also are trying to process the information they overhear or see on social media about the risks associated with getting sick from the coronavirus. This information-some of which may be inaccurate-may cause them to worry about getting COVID-19 and passing it on to the people they love.

Even as we emerge from the worst of COVID-19 in the United States, kids may be hearing about the new variants to the disease and wondering how that will impact them, their families, and their friends.

Questions about vaccine safety and who is vaccinated and who isn't also may bring stress. Particularly, kids who are younger than 12-who are not eligible for the vaccine-may worry that they are unprotected and may get sick.

COVID-19 Prevention in Schools

Even with all of these safety precautions, kids may still experience stress and anxiety. While it may be disconcerting to see your child's stress and anxiety levels rise as the school year approaches-especially after the hard year they just came through-it's also important to know that these feelings are not uncommon.

Be on the lookout for anxiety and stress. And make sure you are doing what you can to help alleviate uncomfortable feelings.

How to Identify Anxiety

While anxiety regarding returning to school is common, it's also not something that should be ignored. For this reason, you need to be able to identify when your kids are struggling with stress and anxiety.

Signs of Anxiety

If your child's anxiety lasts longer than two weeks and interferes with their daily life, this could be a sign of an anxiety disorder. Talk to your child's doctor about your concerns.

Untreated anxiety puts kids at risk for poor school performance, difficulty maintaining friendships, and even depression. And as kids get older, untreated anxiety can even lead to substance abuse.

Tips for Dealing With Stress and Anxiety

The best way to address stress and anxiety is often simply to encourage your child to talk to you about what is troubling them. Listen without judgment and validate their feelings. Sometimes, expressing their feelings is all a child needs to feel better.

Another great way to ease some of your child's anxiety about going back to school is to get your home ready for the transition. Strategies such as planning school lunches ahead of time or establishing a comfortable homework area can help make kids feel more in control and relieve some of their anxious feelings.

Foster Familiarity

As the school year approaches, it's important to help your child feel more comfortable about their new school environment. One of the things that can cause back-to-school anxiety for kids is not knowing what to expect.

Help them become more acclimated to new routines and unfamiliar surroundings by talking through what they might expect to see. Allow them to ask questions and answer them honestly.

Another option to help build your child's comfort level is to make a couple of trips to and from school. Whether your child will walk, take a school bus, or be driven to school, helping them become familiar with the route may help ease back-to-school anxiety.

Even if your child is already familiar with the route to school, making a pre-first-day run will remind them where the school is, and help them feel more connected to where they will go on the first day back. This exercise is even important for first-time drivers. Teens need to know how to get to school and where to park their car.

You also should go over the basics with your kids. For instance, talk about where they will put their jacket as well as how lunch will be handled. You could even talk about how bathroom breaks are handled in the building. Knowing the answers to some of these questions will help your child feel more comfortable in their new classroom.

Be Positive

One way to help ease anxiety and stress about starting school is to remind your kids about what makes going to school great. Aside from learning new things and participating in extracurricular activities, there is a lot that is good about school.

For starters, there's the swag-fun new school supplies and clothes. There are also friends, teachers, and staff members they haven't seen in a while. Remind your kids what they can look forward to about school, such as time with friends, the playground, gym class, art class, or visits to the library.

Assure Them They Aren't Alone

Remind your kids that they're not the only ones who may be nervous about starting school again. Other students are likely to be just as anxious as they are about the first day of school. Reassure them too, that the teacher knows kids are nervous, and will probably spend time helping students feel more comfortable as they settle into the classroom.

If your child is concerned about reconnecting with friends they haven't seen in months, arrange some playdates. Helping your children reconnect with old friends or strengthen bonds with new ones not only reduces anxiety and stress but also can help your child start the year off on the right foot.

Do what you can to reconnect them with their peers-even if it's virtually for now. In some schools, you can get a class list, which can help you in knowing who to connect with.

But if your school district restricts access to this list, try posting in school community groups online in order to connect with other parents with children in your child's class. If your child is anxious about not being in the same class with old friends, reassure them that they can still stay in touch.

Make an Effort to Be Present

As your child transitions back to school, make every effort to be there for them, especially during the first few weeks. One way to do that is to try to be home more during the back-to-school time if that's possible for you.

Right before school starts and during the first days back, try to make it a point to be available to support your child through this transition. If you work away from home, try to arrange your hours so that you're able to drop your child off at school as well as be there after school if you can.

Alternatively, if you can't be there, ask another trusted relative, friend, or caregiver to fill this role for your child. Leaving them an encouraging note in their backpack or calling them before they leave for school can help them feel more secure, too.

You can also plan a special time to do something fun together to celebrate after their first day. Giving them something to look forward to, while also honoring that going back to school is hard for them, can help them feel more at ease.

If you're a stay-at-home parent, try to focus more on your child and put nonessential items on the back burner when they are home. Spend some time talking to your child about their day, such as what they liked and what they might have questions about.

Promote Healthy Living

One of the best ways to combat anxiety and stress is to address eating, sleeping, and exercise habits. Make sure kids get enough sleep and eat a balanced diet. Getting adequate sleep and eating healthy food, especially a balanced breakfast, is important for brain function, mood, and the ability to focus and pay attention in school.

Likewise, your kids need plenty of opportunities to burn off steam. Some kids like playing active sports while others enjoy a quiet afternoon reading or journaling. Every kid is different. So, make sure you're choosing activities that are truly stress-relievers for your child.

Know When to Get Outside Help

You know your child best. If you sense that their back-to-school anxiety may be rooted in something more serious, such as an anxiety disorder or a problem with a bully, talk with your child, your child's teacher, and the school counselor.

And remember, you need to relax as well. Back-to-school time can be just as hectic and stressful for parents. Take care of yourself by eating right and getting enough sleep and exercise during this transitional phase.

Remind yourself that any anxiety or stress you or your child may be feeling is usually temporary. Before you know it, your family will likely be deep into the back-to-school groove.

A Word From Verywell

The key to supporting your kids when they are stressed or anxious about the upcoming school year is to be there for them. Listen to their concerns without minimizing their feelings or trying to fix the situation. Allow them the space to process their feelings without judgment.

Sometimes, just knowing that someone understands what they're experiencing is enough to help kids get through a challenging situation. Other times, they need a little extra help. In these situations, talk to your child's doctor or seek help from a mental health professional. With the right help and treatment, your child can learn to manage their stress and anxiety.

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Tips to Ease Back-to-School Anxiety and Stress

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Back-to-school anxiety is normal and understandable. Many kids may feel anxious about going back to school after a long summer break. Others may feel nervous about starting school for the first time. Regardless of what the case may be, parents can help ease the transition back to school by being able to recognize the symptoms of stress and anxiety and implementing some creative strategies.

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My daughter is nervous about starting middle school this year. Do you have any tips for calming her anxiety? - Child Mind Institute

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How to talk about her fears in a reassuring way, without sugarcoating the real challenges she may face.

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Your Guide to NEISD / North East ISD Skyward Family Access

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Welcome to modern schooling! NEISD automatically provides Skyward Family Access when a student is registered in our district. Launch and login today!

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How to help your tweens and teens with stress reduction
Nourishing Tweens is a participant in several affiliate programs, advertising programs that provides a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com and other websites. I only recommend things that I truly like and would use myself. If you click through my links and make a purchase, there is no additional charge to you.
Are your tweens and teens stressed out? Who isn't, these days? I've got some useful strategies to help you and your kids negotiate these stressful years. Your kids need to reduce their stress and I have calming activities for your tweens and teens. I want to help you help them!

Click here to read Part 1: How to Help Your Tween & Teen Let Go of Negative Thinking

In the other articles in my Ending Negativity series, I went over lots of strategies for helping your kids learn to be less negative and strategies for you as a parent to handle their bad moods. Let me give you a quick review:

Strategies for Stress Reduction for Tweens & Teens

Identify and address problems: Help your kids recognize their thoughts and beliefs about their problems. They need to learn how to de-catastrophize their issues. See article 1 and read the part about the ABC technique.

Let some things go: Are your kids overscheduled? Do they treat everything like it's the first priority? Help them prioritize, and maybe they need to back out of some activities. See article 2.

Manage screens and social media: Studies show that tween's brains are affected by screentime and social media. Read this article to get a handle on it.

Eat well: Your kids brains are made out of what they eat. If their nutrition is poor, they can experience anxiety, depression, insomnia, loss of focus, and more. I touched on this in article 2. If your kid needs some yummy brain food, try my chocolate smoothie and my other recipes. They need less sugar and simple carbs, and more healthy fats and protein! Brains are mostly fat, and your kids' brains are developing. So they need lots of good fat in their diet - coconut oil, avocado, olive oil, and grass-fed butter are all good choices. Yum! Also, beware of caffeine. Make sure your teen knows that caffeine is a stimulant and can amp up anxiety.

Sleep well: Tweens and teens need about 9 hours of sleep per night, and some need even more. Most kids are not getting that much. Your brain needs enough rest every night. If your kids are not getting enough rest, it can be reflected in their mood. Click here to learn more about teens and sleep.

Exercise: Exercise is part of what our bodies are meant to do! Encourage your kids to get some exercise every day. Movement during the day contributes to better sleep at night and better moods during the day.

Release Emotional Tension: That's what this article is about! Read on!

What is Emotional Tension?

Stress! That jaw-clenching, grumpiness-yelling, overall surliness that tweens and teens have (and don't we all sometimes?)!

Your kids are tense and stressed-out, at least some of the time. They need to release some of that tension in order to start to breathe and move on with their responsibilities. We all need a break sometimes to help us be centered and calm.

Unfortunately, many people try to calm themselves by self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. Or they engage in dangerous or risky behaviors to distract themselves from their feelings. Or even worse, they descend into depression and self-harm. Our job as parents includes teaching kids healthy ways to handle stress.

Your tweens and teens need some go-to activities to help them be calm and reduce anxiety. Here is a list of ideas! I've included ideas for both younger tweens and older teens, so I hope you can find something that interests your child.

Calm, calm, calm
Photo by Doug Gates on Unsplash

Keep in mind that your tweens and teens might need some time alone. They also might benefit from some one-on-one time with a friend, or one-on-one time with you. Talk to them gently about which of these options they need and help them find the time to make it happen. I've provided ideas below that can be done either alone or with someone else.

If you are concerned about your teen or tween suffering from anxiety and/or depression, I would love for you to come on over to Facebook and join my support group. Click here to visit: Moms and Families of Tweens and Teens with Anxiety and Depression.

Ideas for calming activities for tweens and teens

Journaling

Journaling is a calming activity

Writing down their thoughts can be really helpful. They can keep a diary about their activities and thoughts, or they could write poetry, stories, or even comic strips if they find that relaxing. This one is a nice basic choice:

This one is silly and has a cover with my kind of humor. It's plain lined inside:

This one has colored paintings on the pages that you can write over:

And I can't believe I found these! One is perfect for the tween girl who loves Taylor Swift., the other is great for fans of Stranger Things. I think both are just regular blank journals inside:

And here are some nice pens to make it more fun:

Gratitude journals

There are lots of journals you can buy that give you writing prompts. A gratitude journal is one way to help one prioritize his or her life. It can become a ritual, either at bedtime or first thing in the morning that can lead to a feeling of grounding and mindfulness.

I created one that's available in my Etsy shop called the "One Good Thing Journal." I thought it would be an excellent place for a struggling kid to start. Each day your tween is prompted to just think of one thing that happened that was pleasant. It's quick and simple. Click here to visit my Etsy shop.

Here are some other gratitude journals intended for different ages - your kids can decide which one seems right for them:

Calming journals

These journals all have writing prompts. If you think your tween or teen would benefit from turning their focus inward and thinking about reducing anxiety or being more mindful, these books might be a good choice. It really depends on your kid - would he or she find journals like these helpful or annoying? If you click on each link you can see examples of what the pages look like.

Art and Crafts

Making art is a calming activity

Art and crafts are a fabulous way for people to disconnect from their daily stressors and just focus on "the now." It's great mentally to bring your focus in and look at your hands and what is right in front of you. Plus, many of us also benefit from the kinesthetic element of arts and crafts - touching the yarn, holding the paintbrush, etc. can be an effective calming activity, and it will be for your tweens and teens, too!

Making friendship bracelets

Drawing or coloring

Jewelry making

I love this one! Learn the mindless-but-useful art of hand lettering! Looks like a super fun and relaxing activity:

If your tween or teen likes to color, please visit my Etsy shop to see the coloring pages that I've created.

Reading

I'm not planning to recommend any specific books here, but I think reading fiction, in general, is such a nice, relaxing activity! It's a way to escape the every day and lose your troubles for a while. If your tween or teen is struggling with stress and/or more serious anxiety or depression, I'd advise you to steer them towards books that aren't too worrisome. There is a lot of juvenile fiction nowadays that attempts to teach social justice, empathy, etc. that certainly has its place, but its place is not stress-reduction. My daughter has been assigned books in middle school in which the characters struggle with eating disorders, bullying, disease, refugee life, etc. that did not help her reduce anxiety or find restful sleep, which is what we are going for today.

If you are looking for ideas for a tween and your kid has an oddball sense of humor or interest in the strange, these books might be fun: Quirky books for tweens. I'd steer clear of Series of Unfortunate Events for stress reduction. I think the name explains why. If you can help them find some books that are funny and make them laugh, that can be a big help for stress reduction.

Here are some more lists of books:
Exciting Books for Tweens Books for Tweens who Love Harry Potter Science Fiction Books for Tweens
Games

Some people find it relaxing to play a game by themselves. Our family has several different games like this. The little ones are also really handy to take on trips.

If your tween or teen is open to having some family time, here are some of our family's favorites. Playing a game together might not be what you think of as "calm," in fact, it can get downright raucous! But it is a pleasant release, a chance to laugh and connect with others, and a distraction from our worries - all of which can contribute to less stress. These are all games that aren't too "thinky" and shouldn't remind them of school:

Uno and Phase 10 are both really fun card games. Uno is super easy to learn and works for ages 4-104. It also is a good choice because you can play for 10 minutes or much longer, so it works no matter how long you have. Phase 10 is a little more complicated and takes longer, but it's so fun and definitely can help you forget your problems!

Incan Gold is an amusing game we learned from our cousins in Canada this past summer. It's quick to learn and our tween and teen both enjoy it.

Puzzles

I love jigsaw puzzles! They are one of our family's favorite ways to relax. They are an activity one can do alone or you can all do it as a family. You can chit chat, put on music, just be silent, or even put on a movie that you've enjoyed before. When choosing a puzzle, get one that is appropriate for the puzzler. Pick a well-made brand such as Ravensburger. Start easy and get harder! A tween is old enough to do the most difficult puzzle, but it depends on whether they have practiced before. If you are just starting out, get an easy one like this 200-piece ocean scene:

This cat one is 500 pieces, so a little harder:

And this one of Paris is 1500 pieces!

Building Activities

We love to build Legos in our family. It is a nice, calm activity, and it's another one that can be done alone or as a pair. Some people may think tweens and teens are too old for Legos, but there are sets available that are intended for adults and can be a calming activity for any age.

These aren't Legos- they are another high-rated building toy.

Fidget Toys

It can be very relaxing to have something to fidget with. Here are a few options:

Magnet toys

Pop-its

Squishies: My daughter and all her friends were obsessed with squishies in 5th grade. Squishies are foam toys that can be squeezed and then they slowly rise back to their original shape. She would take one along wherever she went to have something to squeeze. There is definitely something calming about it. It's like an (adorable) stress ball! They come in tons of styles.

This project is something my daughter enjoyed a while back. You can make your own stress balls - so it's the fun of doing a craft combined with the calming effect of something to squeeze!

Physical Outlets

Walking - Going for a walk with you or a friend can be great because it gets your tween outside plus it's a chance to talk. Or if you have a dog, send you tween out to walk the dog. Contributing to the family can help them feel useful and therefore develop confidence and a sense of purpose.

Hiking - If there is somewhere nearby that you can commune with nature, take your tween there and escape the bustle of your lives.

Running - If you like to run, take your tween with you!

Dancing - Put on some music and dance!

Biking, skiing, snowboarding, boating, surfing...you get the idea. Whatever your tween or teen likes that is available, make some time for it!

Yoga - Yoga is one of the best calming activities out there for any age, and it is a great skill for tweens and teens to learn to help them on their lifelong effort to reduce stress and be healthy. There are lots of sources for good yoga instruction. Sign up for a class together, or just watch a yoga video and follow along! Yoga with Adrienne is one of my favorite You-tubers, and she has lots of videos available for free. Why not start with this one that's designed with teens in mind?

Self-Care

Self-care is a buzz word that you hear a lot lately. I think there is definitely some value to taking care of yourself and enjoying just being in your body. We, as parents, are trying to teach our kids to learn to prioritize their responsibilities. Don't forget, care of the self is their responsibility, too.

Essential Oils

Essential oils are a really useful tool for improving one's self-care. Hopefully, you already have them in your home and know how to use them. If you do, make sure you are teaching your teens and tweens how to use them, too! Click here to read my article that explains the basics of essential oils and how to get the best ones at wholesale prices.

Here are a few ways that oils can help with stress reduction for tweens and teens:

Diffusion: A diffuser releases the molecules into the air so that we breathe them in. Some oils have a calming, relaxing effect that can help regulate mood. These include lavender, clary sage, and ylang ylang. Others have an uplifting, energizing effect and can help to improve bad moods such as lime, bergamot, and peppermint. Young Living has some oil blends that are pre-mixed to help support mood. One is called Stress Away, another is Peace & Calm. They both smell lovely.

Topical: Many essential oils are safe to use on the skin and can have benefits. You can get a roller-ball bottle of Stress Away that is pre-diluted for topical use onto the skin, or you can make one yourself. Then your tween or teen can roll it on their pulse points.

Aromatherapy jewelry: Your tween or teen can also wear essential oils to have the benefits with them while they are out of the house. A little sniff of a bracelet, for example, can help bring instant calm. I found a craft kit to make their own jewelry (crafting and oils! Very relaxing!) or you can buy some ready-made. Lava beads are often used because they are porous so you can drip the oil in. Or you can use leather jewelry, and the leather will absorb a little oil.

If you don't have oils already, be cautious about buying a reputable brand. The essential oil industry is not well regulated and there are some scoundrels out there. You need your oils to be high-quality because you and your children will be breathing the molecules into your bodies. It's very important that they are pure and toxin-free. To learn more about Young Living oils and learn how you can get yours at wholesale prices, click here.

Bubble Baths/Shower Time

Bubble baths have a great reputation for helping one to relax! Chances are your tweens and teen aren't "into" baths anymore. I would suggest that when they have a little extra time, a bubble bath would be a great calming activity.

Everyone is a really good non-toxic brand that is rated very well on the Environmental Working Group's Skin Deep website. They have a lavender bubble bath that would be a great choice. It is made with real lavender, which is important. Beware of products that claim to be lavender but then have "fragrance" as one of the ingredients - that refers to 1000s of synthetic chemicals, many of which are harmful.

If your teen really just wants a shower but is open to the relaxation idea, there are shower steamers available. They work in a similar way to bath bombs. You put them in the shower and when the hot water/steam hits them they release aromatherapy so it's like showering at the spa.

More Relaxing Self-Care

Face masks can be a calming activity. Tweens and teens can also relax by doing their nails. Both are nice ways to just slow down and focus on the self.

Get Cozy

Cuddling up is another way to practice some self-care. Some people feel better when they have a weighted blanket. It helps them feel more centered, or grounded.

Weighted blankets

This one is recommended for tweens up to 90 lbs:

This one is for larger people and comes in several pretty colors:

Slippers and fuzzy socks

For boys and young men:

For girls and young women:

Another good way to get cozy is to hang out with your pets! If you have a dog or cat, petting or cuddling your pet can help your tween or teen relax.

I hope you have found my ideas helpful! If you did, please pin or share! Do you have more ideas for calming activities for tweens and teens? If so, tell me in the comments!

If you are concerned about your teen or tween suffering from anxiety and/or depression, please read my article that can help you understand anxiety in teens and tweens.

I also would love for you to come on over to Facebook and join my support group. Click here to visit: Moms and Families of Tweens and Teens with Anxiety and Depression.

If you found this helpful, please pin and share!

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Calming Activities for Tweens & Teens - Nourishing Tweens

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How to help your tweens and teens with stress reduction Nourishing Tweens is a participant in several affiliate programs, advertising programs that provides a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com and other websites. I only recommend things that I truly like and would use myself.

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