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Growing up in a conservative household pushed me to feel the need to create masculine personality traits. My father frequently told us that men are not supposed to cry under any circumstance, and this mentality subconsciously made it hard for me to express my feelings or show empathy. Maturing into the more recent years of my life, I have been blessed with friends who constantly reassure me to express how I am feeling no matter how insignificant it may seem.

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Throughout my childhood I often heard the color pink being associated with femininity. My favorite color was red because I thought it was the most masculine color due to its bright and aggressive features. However, I was always apprehensive about wearing pink because I thought that I would be seen as more feminine. Having pink hair or wearing pink clothing was something I took pride in during high school because it felt like I was rebelling against the norms that were set for me. People also viewed my strong liking for sports and going to the gym as bizarre because Asian men are thought of as physically weaker than Western men. The video, "What is Intersectionality?" resonated with what I was feeling during this time because it felt like I was fighting on many fronts. Not just against the masculine culture in the U.S., but also against the stereotypes held against Asian men at the time.

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Asian men are often ridiculed for having feminine tastes

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This is a photo of me with makeup on, something that is popular among men in Korean. Although makeup is primarily associated with women, men should also not be afraid to wear makeup weather for fun or to cover insecurities. The video, "Asian American Women Share Struggles With Beauty Standards" really stood out to me because I felt that Asians in general are expected to fit into a certain category of beauty. Asian men, in particular, are often associated with feminine standards because of the way our skin looks and the clothing we decide to wear. In Korea, this is extremely prominent and as an immigrant in the U.S, I am often faced with backlash for expressing masculine tastes and hobbies.

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My father is in many ways a representation of how men are expected to act with a family. He works full time to support the family and believes that men should be the ones providing for their family. He also promotes competitiveness between my brother and I in order to push us to strive for better. However, he also displays qualities that express modernity. Although Asian culture often encourages gender norms and conservative practices, my father believes that women are equal to him and shares all household duties with my mother. He played an equal part in raising my brother and I during our childhood, breaking away from his cultural norms and beliefs.

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Raised by a loving mother who also worked full-time. 

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My mother immigrated with my father to the U.S. from Korea when my brother and I were less than one-year old. Although she was in a foreign place, my mother steered away from the patriarchy and pursued her medical career as a pharmacist during our childhood. Even though she was taking care of two kids, she also felt the desire to obtain and use her education in order to provide for the family alongside my father. The article,  "Migrant Filipina Domestic Workers and the International Division of Reproductive Labor" by Rachel Salazar Parrenas reminded me of how far my mother has come because she has not only proven that women can join the workforce while raising children, but also shows how immigrants can exceed the stereotypical domestic work and find jobs that require higher education.