# data[].attributes.body
(rap)
[think of it like how rappers feature in pop songs? ig?]
Mama raised me smart, she raised me petty.
You're getting in a fight when you weak as spaghetti.
Screenshotting your shit, im icy like  yeti.
Doin' your shit, you gon be dead as Betty.
You wanna be sweet? Hell naw. Now I'm ready.
I'll be so vindictive,  make an angel of Freddy.
The sideshow is over, Issa main act already.
You gave me hate, ill throw it back steady.
I'm spiting truths, imma make you sweaty.
imma blow your words all over like confetti.
I was raised not to rely on daddy's fetty.
Damn,   drownin' in  karma, better grab your wettie.
You think you're ass will be  saved. you ain't that pretty.
Karma is a bad bitch, and I hold her machete.
I swear I'll knock your ass out like ameretti.
I'll fuck shit up,  more famous than  Vanzetti.

# data[].attributes.body
When we walked in the door,
something was amiss-
my uncle took our keys,
and my cousins smiled like sadists∼
(1, 2, 3, 4!)
This ain't how I wanted,
my holiday to go!
But that's just what happens,
everyone becomes your foe.
im only wearing this sweater,
because my mom said so.
Like I'm kissing this girl,
cause she drug me under the mistletoe
But it's better off than last year.
what else could go wrong?
it's the Reluctant Winter Holiday Song!
(Yee-Haw!)
Cousin Nick Got high again,
All of my Uncles have been slapped.
And if Jack keeps on going,
Grandma's gonna get the strap!
I don't know how it's happened,
but I've been gift-wrapped.
And mom's had enough, finally,
She said daddy's gonna be capped-
I better find my truck keys,
I've been here far too long-
It's my Reluctant Winter Holiday Song!
{Whoop here}
(sick musical number)
The Presents are finally over,
but I'm too drunk to drive.
we'd make a lot of money,
if someone streamed this live.
I just heard some screaming,
bobby's girlfriend stole his pie.
Someone's going to end up in the ER
by the end of the night.
and the night gets so much better,
every time the doorbell goes ding-dong!
(yeah right!)
It's the Reluctant Winter Holiday-
(When can I just run away?)
It's the Reluctant Winter Holiday-
(Can I finish what I was going to say?)
it's the reluctant Winter Holiday Song!!!!!!
(Holiday Song!)

# data[].attributes.body
it's lonesome .
oh, so lonesome.
it's lonesome, here, on the outside.
it's freezing,
so damn freezing.
it's freezing with the cold shoulder and we all know why
just cause im at home.
don't mean you need to leave me.
and just cause im here.
don't mean you need to do things I don't see.
(cause I'll see.)
I'm dying.
here at home staring at my phone.
why do I find out from others what you do?
and im crying.
I know what happens when you leave me alone.
i was just praying it wasn't true.

(chorus)
it's cold. out here.
it's lonesome on the outside.
on the outside.
it's cold. out here.
it's lonesome on the outside.
on the outside.
of you.
(post-chorus)
of you.
oooh. oh.
of you.
oooh. oh
on the outside of you.

I know just where you went wrong,  but,
I didn't want to write this song, and
what did I do to you?
what did I do to make you..
step out when  you knew you had all of me
why cant you see,  that
we were supposed to be hand in hand
and then you go and say im sorry,
but you don't really mean that.
lies leak out like hourglass sand.

(Chorus)
(post-chorus)

you're so far away,
hiding everything but your pride
and it's always been that way.
How could I think I'd make us right?
and i shouldn't stay
this isn't even your worse side.
but you always say,
this is the last time.
so im packing all my things and pray i can get away..

(chorus)

my records my clothes and my guitar.
self preservation means more than what you say.
i just need the guts to go and pack my car.
I'll get out I know,
cause staying here is like breathing snow.
cause you're gonna do what you're gonna do.
it's always going to be cold.

On The Outside
Of You.

# data[].attributes.body
Thoughts swirling in my head,

I just wanna get up and fight.

Anger in my heart,

I don’t know if ill be alright.

Liar in love with a hoe.

Hell, everything changes over night

I had love and friendship,

Now its long outta sight

Restraint is taking up

all of my might,

And maybe if I knock your lights out,

I’ll get to sleep tonight

Listen for those gunshots,

Fire comes at the witching hours night.

You messed with me so often,

I can’t even cry,

You can’t even prove it,

Do you think you’re walking the path of light?

And if I said you make me happy,

That’d be a Fucking lie.

I’m tired of your stupid ass,

Smoking crack you’re way too fucking high.

maybe you need to learn,

how to be a decent guy.

You see the grass is always greener

and I know you’ve got your “problems”

but stop lying,

stop all your petty drama

if you wanna fuck with someone,

go fuck with someone else, see who you stupefy.

cause ive got a couple baseball bats,

and I know where you park that pretty ride.

I hope you get what’s coming for ya,

Or ill give it to you first,

such a disgrace to the family name,

You’re the goddamned worse

I cant handle you no more,

Ive got my own duties and jobs

Ive got no time for scrubs or players,

Or any of you slobs.

I cant believe you’re like this,

I thought you were better,

But, HA, I’m gonna laugh and watch it

When you get your hell bound acceptance letter.

# data[].attributes.body
Id give a hundred million dollars to someone who can tell me

Why the boys I know don’t want me

Is it my personal boundaries? My social ineptly?

Someone tell me, I’m going crazy

But then I always was, so maybe its cause im psycho.

But I though guys liked that, cause look at all their hoes.

All the good guys are taken, all the bad boys don’t want me.

And im left crying mercy, mercy

(Chorus)

Someone tell me.

Scream it loud for my ears

Someone tell me

why I find no love here?

Someone tell me.

Get my attention. Scream out my name

Someone tell me

Why love’s not the name of my game?

They look at my body. They have to sit.

But as soon as I speak. They don’t want it

They wanna knooooooooooooooooooooow

How far ill gooooooooooooooooooo

But at this point I just wanna see at last

how far this shoe will go up their aaaaaaaaaaaa-

*sick guitar solo*

(chorus)

Can someone just tell me

Just tell me

Please have mercy

Please tell me

Tell me

Tell me

Oh please Have mercy

Someone please just tell me?

(slow)

Someone tell me

Please don’t make it harder than this.

Just tell me

What’s wrong so i can fix

This thing thats wrong with me.

Please tell me.

I cant handle all the pain.

Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please.

Just tell me.

# data[].attributes.body
I’ve been living my life through these lenses of a pasture

All green fields and never-ending bliss

Never acknowledging

that there was more to life than this

Then you hit me cross the face

Broke the rosy glasses with no trace

Of the love they should’ve left behind

Through all the pain and the abuse,

I finally see anew

That the world is an awful place

CHORUS

Now all I see are Hurricanes and rain (Hurricanes and Rain x2 echo)

You gave me love but you always bring the pain (always bring the pain x2 echo)

And I hate it, oh I hate it

But I can’t get away

The pull is too strong, Leaving feels all wrong

Cause loving you

is like hurricanes. and rain

I gave you all of me,

And you took for granted that fact

But by now you should know

That Players Get Sacked

Maybe, just maybe,

You’ll come to realize

That I could, and I can,

Hell, you don’t own my life

(chorus)

And honey, im sorry, but ive got to go

And honey, I wish you, the best but you gotta know

You can’t put people through Hurricanes and rain.

You can’t love people, but leave them in pain

And I love you, but I hate it

So I just can’t stay

I’ve got to move on, say so long

Cause I cant go through,

More

Hurricanes and rain.

# data[].attributes.body
I sprinkle silver confetti like stardust

creating galaxies with my hand.

I'm high above, with my pain and wanderlust.

something that you never could understand.

now I can finally breathe as I fly.

but you want me to come back down to earth.

and I don't even understand why.

when I left, how did I gain more worth?

(Chorus)

You were never on my side.

But me, myself and I are ride or die.

And I know up here I am alright.

On this balloon ship ride.

I did not build a bride,

But I still got over it.

And I’m still wondering a smidge,

But I don’t want to admit

I’m better where I’m at.

Where I can oversee my own.

No more being your doormat.

I won’t toss you another bone.

(Chorus)

Up here. I’m better off.

You can’t bring me down,

Your love was never soft,

You made me hate this town.

In a hot Air balloon ride.

Now I can finally lift off and fly.

I don’t need you by my side.

Goodbye, Goodbye, goodbye.

# data[].attributes.body
(it's Rap)
i cant keep it up,

but i cant break down.

im living my life like a lie.

empty parts scattered low and high

cant keep it uptight,

scream it out when im out of the light

all i feel is the anger

mind is screaming hang her

i cant breathe

i cant see

wake in  cold sweat

all these memories i cant forget

theres no one who will see

no one who cares about me

feeling regret

feeling upset

no more happy to see

faces are drawn on in sharpie

how do i keep the fake smile

cracks getting bigger all the while

pain in my ribs at 3 am

and everyone is crying Sam I am

its so hard to find the truth

the good ones are the ones you loose

crying out at night.

screaming in my sleep left and right

my parents are concerned

17 shouldnt hurt

ive been lonely all my life

depression is a steel knife

all i feel is it through my windpipe

im so sad while they're so hype.

parties drinking getting high

yet i'm the homebody, left out guy

who am i kidding,

life dont feel worth living

looking towards the light

but theres nothing, pitch black night

how do i think of college and careers

when living to 20 is my biggest fear

never had a close friend

life feels near to the end

and i  cant even do my work

how do you do math when your brain is full of hurt?

constant escapism

hate reflected like a prism

all the people i used to know

they got group chats and parties, yet say they are alone

how do you spend your nights

when im crying and sobbing in the moonlight

everyone is soaring,

great grades and social life roaring

but im tanking

and the humor is all faking

i feel so alone but how can i say

that i know someone will love me someday

im unlovable, untreatable

and the pain makes me beatable

burnout gifted kid, never needed social skills

but now im alone and the scabs on my knuckles dont heal

and i just dont understand why

im undesirable to these guys

im trying to look up so hard

but my tears mask the stars

and its all i can do to keep it all bottled up,

dont let it out and stain the pretty rugs

keep the lid on the pill bottle

keep my finger off the trigger, hand off the throttle

what happened to "we are family"

"i watch out for you, and you for me"

now im the watchman, getaway driver and thief

lonely nights, cold sheets

and i thought love made the world go round,

but i guess i'm in the ocean, ready to drown

i cry when i sleep,

i puke when i eat

the nights are lonely,

cant count enough black sheep

walking in the halls, people look away

i say hi and they dont know what to say

fake friends and faker words

everyone is nice when it means they'll be heard

if i made it big, id have all these friends

but right now im vying to make amends

and i never even did anything to yall

hive mind, listen to those who have it all

make a few rich kids jealous

and your life turns hell-ous.

hello Michael, been a while since i saw you.

i constantly fall from gods grace, too

if god was still with me,

i wouldn't' be like this

crawling cross the ground for a faint memory of a kiss

im constantly trying to keep on the lid

but it's always threatening to spill my shit

someday ill  be bigger,

but ill still feel so much sicker

"kick me" on my back

childish opinion on crack

17-year-old politics

feeling like royalty to get your kicks

im invisible, unless it entertains you

my king and queen, what would you like the jester to do?

control my life

so much pain and strife

there's nothing but laughter like a knife

and you all say you are depressed, so anxious,

so damaged, just shut up

liars and whores,

attention, pimp yourselves for a little bit more.

theres nothing wrong with you, shut up shut up

you were born with the best luck

i cant see how you have it so bad

everything you want, just ask mommy and dad

an i dont know how to keep going on.

i wont even get a date to prom

no one hits me up,

i have had enough

i don't want to give up

but there's no one to hug

all i need is a friend,

i dont care how or where

i need a good one

but they've been corrupted and repainted, redone

if life is just a game,

it's become so lame

no more goodness in my brain

ive gone batshit insane

im crying at night, popping ibuprofen for the pain

wake up screaming with no more peace

neighbors hate me, there's no more sleep

i feel so hollow,

hard pills to swallow

no one cares, no one likes me

ill always be the only one in bed when i sleep

a show for a non-people-pleaser,

pain is the price i pay to sit in this theater.

i didnt want to be the queen of alone

i didnt want to rule this throne

now im the ruler of a barren land

no one will hold her majesties hand

and im the star in a little show

gossip and burnouts, everyone knows.

all i can do is plan for getting out

ive got too many plans to count

i aint living till high school dies

and ill stop living these lies.

but until then all ive got

is knowing what you call me is what im not.

imma get out, imma end this same old song,

but all i can do right now is keep the cap on.

# data[].attributes.body
(an ode to online friends and lovers)

/I don know you yet

But baby I want to, baby I want too

/And ive never touched you yet.

but baby im gon to, baby im gon to

/Come close to me now and please stay.

Don’t be afraid I’ll never hurt you.

/And I know you might want to run away.

And baby if you do, I’ll let you go.

/Oh, now im wonderin if this is looooooooooove

but I don’t know you good enough.

And now im wonderin if this is love

Don’t you wonder too? Yeah. Don’t you wonder too?

(hard/fast instrumental)

/someday. When I see you.

Ill pick you out of the crowd.

/And darlin when I see you,

my heart will be thunderin so loud

/and you’ll know me when you see me,

And I hope you don’t back out now.

/But damn I wanna meet ya.

Cause I think about you I go “wow”.

(repeating echo with accompanying silence, then normal for the chorus. )

/And, im wonderin if this is looooooove.

But damn I don’t know you good enough.

But im still wonderin if this is love.

Don’t you wonder too?

Oh. Don’t you wonder too?

(instrumental)

Yeah.

Oooooohhhhhhhhh.

Now im wondering.

Yeah yeah.

Ooooohhhhhhh.

(instrumental slow)

Don’t you wonder too? Don’t you wonder too?

(instrumental fade)

# data[].attributes.body
(don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t)

X2

Hahahaha

Listen here. You little shit.

Don't be givin’. Me that lip.

Don’t you know you are in the wrong?

Don’t you know im just playin along?

You're a liar. And a freak

Don’t be crawlin’. Back to me

Don’t you know what you do?

don’t you know I was already abused?

(Chorus)

If we never had nothing, why did you call me babygirl [roll ending]

If there was never a spark, why’d you tell ‘em I’m your world [roll ending]

Don’t misspell my name

Don’t keep playin’ your games.

And I can keep on rollin’

Right now, your face is golden. [Drug out]

Oh.

This is what you don’t. this is what you don’t, this is what you don’t.

Don’t.

This is what you don’t. this is what you don’t, this is what you don’t.

Don’t.

And I can go on and on and on

About all your shit that’s goin’ on

Like saying you wanna touch it, and I should have your jacket.

Then when you yell at me, well I can’t even hack it

Sending me red hearts, Boner when you see me,

Then saying I stalk you, thinking loyalty ‘s free

How about having your buddies tell you how I’m doin’?

cockblocking me and then saying I did my own ruin.

Yeah and after the show

you bring your ass up I already know

To call me a liar, call me a freak

But don’t you know, that the freak ain’t me.

(Chorus)

Yeah and after the show

You’ll bring your ass up, I know

I ain't gonna hear it.

Ill yell back. Wont fear it.

Cause this is what you don’t. this is what you don’t. this is what you don’t

Do.

# data[].attributes.body
[quiet beginning]

I am down.

Down on my knees

Every single morning and before I fall sleep.

Lord, you rescued me.

But everything right now is more than I need.

I’ve been praying, oh I’m prayin’.

And I’ve been looking up to you,

And I need you, oh how I need you,

Lord I know you’re still listenin’!

chorus

[loud, and energetic]

And I’ve been crying out to you.

Just give me a sign. I’m dying down here; my mind is on the line.

Just cut me a break,

LORD

Just cut me a break

And no matter what,

my heart is always for you, but my mind ain’t convinced, and I’m living in pain,

Please cut me a break,

LORD

Cut me a break!

(end chorus)

[quiet-ish here]

The whole world,

Yeah,

All of us can’t breathe.

And Lord I am still down here on my knees. (echo: still down on my knees)

Our lives are going up in smoke,

And Dear Lord we feel the flame

But I’m still down on my knees.

And I’m still prayin’, and I’m still sayin’

(chorus)

[steady, low, and more like talking, actually]

[second time: louder, but still steady and talking-ish]

I’m still prayin’, I’m still waitin’

Lord I’m sayin’

That I’m still prayin’

(repeat 2x)

PLEASE!

(chorus)

{until last two lines, then slow it down, and say, Dear God, just cut me a break)

[And fade out. ]

# data[].attributes.body
Now do you love me when I'm with your friend

Don't you see babe, now without you, my life, didn't end.

he's a sportsmanlike player, and a gentlema

he holds the door and he holds my hand

he is everything that you cant.

Now-ow-ow, you finally want me?

and Now-ow-ow you're crawling at my feet.

oh get up, darling, I don't want your tears.

how about now-ow-ow?

After all these years.

Get up, boy, boy, boy

you fulfilled your own fears.

get up boy, boy, boy

After all these years

and no I don't regret you,

but i'm done with all my tears.

oh, oh oh oh,

after all these years

*sweet little Instrumental*

After all these years, now you want me,

all my tears, but now I've moved on, and you see

He's a co-u-u-untry charmer, and he lo-o-ves me

and now you're shedding tears after all these years.

now-ow-ow, I'm so damn glad

and I know that seeing me with him makes you sad

but now-ow-ow you finally care,

but now-ow-ow I'm just happy you’re out of my hair

Get up, boy, boy, boy

you fulfilled your own fears.

get up boy, boy, boy

After all these years

and no i don't regret you,

but i'm done with all my tears.

oh, oh oh oh,

After all these years

*another instrumental*

tell me, when, when did you start to realize,

sometimes the one you push... don't come back to you  all alright.

tell me, when, when did we fall into parts?

after all these years, i’m freeing your heart.

*building up in tempo into a even pappy-er song*

OHHHHHHH OH OHHH

Now-ow-ow,  you finally want me?

and Now-ow-ow you're crawling at my feet.

oh get up, You big baby, I don't want your tears.

how about now-ow-ow? After all these years.

OHHHHHHH OH OHHH

Now-ow-ow,  you finally want me?

and Now-ow-ow you're crawling at my feet.

oh get up, You big baby, I don't want your tears.

how about now-ow-ow? After all these years.

slower*

and now it's over,

and I'm starting something new.

I'm finally getting better.

and you should too

and this is the last time

we tell each other what to

do-ooo-ooo

*spoken*

now it's finally over, babe, after

all these years.

# data[].attributes.body
( i wrote it while listening to evermore! what do y'all think?)

I remember, Thursday twice last,

I took my spade and dug it up fast.

Found our box

Your old stuffed fox

With my cat

Things I thought I’d never have back.

Found the photos,

And all the notes, oh.

All these memories,

A vessel for me

A way to go back to the past.

I remember, on Thursday twice last.

(Chorus)

Time flies

When you cry.

Seasons change

Memories deranged.

I’ll never have you back,

and I don’t pray to try.

You made up your heart,

For both you and I.

I remember the pain and strife

The nostalgia hits like a knife.

You walked away

But then told me to stay

Smiling at my phone

Now I feel alone.

These small things are you.

Little things you used to.

The photos I have saved

Emotions all in waves.

You were the best part of my life,

I remember the pain and strife.

(chorus)

So, I grabbed my spade, buried it deep.

you can’t be something I’ll ever keep.

Store it away in a heap.

But I need your photos to fall asleep.

(chorus)

I found our box.

A vessel of the lost.