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Communication Skills - How To Improve Communication Skills - 7 Unique Tips!

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1. Stop and listen before responding
2. People respond to positivity
3. Be present - completely understand what they are saying
4. Use open body language
5. Respond appropriately

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5 Hacks - How to develop Effective Communication Skills - Verbal, Non-verbal & Body Language

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saXfavo1OQo

William Ury refers to listening as the missing half of communication. The importance of listening is often overlooked.  I like the perspective Ury explored communication through. He explained that when you approach a conversation with the intent to listen you will be met with the same attitude to listen with whom ever you are communicating with. This is a skill everyone should master.

There are three important reasons to listen in any negotiation or conflict
1. Helps us understand the other side
2. Helps us connect with the other person
3. Helps us 'get to yes'

How do we listen?
Typically when in a conversation, you find yourself slightly following the topic and thinking about your answers or if you're in agreement/ or not. What Ury suggests makes good listening, is turning the focus entirely on the other person. Put yourself in their shoes, listen to them in their frame brain. Listen not just to what is being said, but what is not being said.

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The power of listening | William Ury | TEDxSanDiego

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How to improve your communication skills - 4 steps 

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How to improve your communication skills - 4 steps 

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This video goes through 4 steps that you can take to improve your communications skills.
The steps are:
1. Active Listening
Making sure that you are listening intently and getting a sense for how the person feels. Try to understand what they are really trying to express.

2. Respond with phrases that relate to what the person is talking about
Showing you are interested and engaged in what the other person is saying. Relate and validate.

3. Tell stories
Tell a story that relates to the person is talking about. Make them feel not alone in their setting or situation.

4. Practice
Practice ahead of time for what you are going to say.

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How to Improve Your Communication Skills - 4 Steps

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTvlVHLVxLw&ab_channel=AnnaAkana

This video helps the audience to reflect on the purpose of their communcation to ultimately be a more personable communicator and get their point across more effectively

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The 1 Tip to Improve Your Communication Skills at Work

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The 1 Tip to Improve Your Communication Skills at Work

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Bottom Line Up Front communications principle. Use active listening in collaboration with the BLUF principle in order to get your points across.

In this video the creator share a realistic situation that most, if not all, working professionals would face at work, and what a strong communicator would do in that situation. The Bottom Line Up Front method is used by management consultants and product marketers alike and now it goes by many other names, like Top Down Communication and The Pyramid Principle.

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The 1 Tip to Improve Your Communication Skills at Work

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Yw6dFQBklA

The speaker emphasizes that effective communication involves the recipients' understanding of the information delivered

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The Art of Effective Communication | Marcus Alexander Velazquez | TEDxWolcottSchool

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Jay Shetty: 3 tips for better communication

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Jay Shetty: 3 tips for better communication

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https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1845958479051942

Key points
1 Never reply when you are angry
2 Never make a promise when you are happy
3 Never make a decision when you are sad

Reflection: emotions tend to color our perception of reality. it is best to return to a state of peace and equanimity prior to reacting, promising or deciding.

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Jay Shetty - 3 Tips For Better Communication | Facebook

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Most our problems would be solved if we stopped talking about each other and started talking to each other! Sign Up https://www.9spokes.com/connect here...

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Communication is not just a thing about talking, people need to think before they actually talking to someone else. Most of the times, organise the language in the mind before talk is the most important thing. Other people's feeling and emotions should be considered in a positive and healthy communication.

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In a world that is heavily consumed by technology and digital platform economies, this video outlines why and how to reclaim and enhance our analog communication skills as means of assisting our relationships seen in our day to day interactions, within our workspace. etc
Antoni explains in his ted talk that art of communicating with energy, clarity and empathy requires effort and willpower.

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6 communication truths that everyone should know | Antoni Lacinai | TEDxVasa

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5 Tips to Make Assertive Communication Easier and More Effective

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5 Tips to Make Assertive Communication Easier and More Effective

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Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlwmfiCb-vc

This video talks about the strategies on how to execute assertive communication Assertive communication, as oppposed to passive and agressive communication, gets across your needs to the other party for important aspects of your life such as your relationships and the workspace and helps you attain them. Assertive communication is hard for everyone, so the tip is to start small by trying to be assertive in low-risk situations. By practicing assertive communication regularly, it helps you and the people around feel more comfortable and successful in tackling hard conversations and save bigger conflicts and issues from snowballing later down the track.

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5 Tips to Make Assertive Communication Easier and More Effective

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This video by Improvement Pill examines 7 crucial points when communicating.
1. Be efficient with your speaking - Remove filler words as they bring no value to the conversation.
2. Use pauses instead of filler words - these can emphasise the message being communicated in a conversation. These deliver more powerful messages.
3. Conversational Threading - When starting a new sentence, bring up a different topic. Choose one topic you're interested in talking about. Talk about some topics the other person may branch off of so they can also continue the conversation.
4. Use statements instead of questions - sharing information about yourself rather than constantly asking. These include:
- Story/Opinion statements - tells a small story or shows your opinion on something
- Cold read statements - An observation you make about the other person
- Random/spontaneous statements - Random thoughts that pop up in your mind.
5. Humor - Play with your words
6. Storytelling - tell a captivating story that allows others to jump into your world and mind.
7. Deep conversation - Long lasting valuable relationships.

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Communication Skills - How To Improve Communication Skills - 7 Unique Tips!

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Keisha Brewer talks in this Ted talk about strategic communication and how to get what you want out of your communication. I think this is super important in being a leader - it is important to be direct and skilful in your communication in order to be successful.

"What you say is just as important as how you say it"

Key points:
- Identify the goal
- Understand your audience
-  Communicate the value
-  Express the Need

Important to note is that Keisha is a very confident speaker - listening to the way they speak I picked up key cues such as not saying "um" and "uh" or "like", fluctuation in tone and intonation, body language (strong eye contact with audience, hand gestures, etc), and having a good verbal pace.

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It's Not Manipulation, It's Strategic Communication | Keisha Brewer | TEDxGeorgetown

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzsVh8YwZEQ

Active listening is important for creating space for others to share ideas.
It goes beyond the simple transaction of talking and listening and encourages communicators to think deeply about and respond to what another is saying.
This is a great skill in the workplace as it helps everyone feel like their ideas are valued and ensures that listeners are engaging fully in the conversation.

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This video talks about receiving the communication. The article talks about more giving feedback and the idea of avoiding issues within the workplace as well. But it doesn't talk about how a person should receive the feedback and what they should do with said feedback. And this video goes over what you should do with said feedback and how to evaluate it.

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The Science of Receiving Feedback: Mentor Workshop Introduction  | Big Think

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The Latimer Group provide the perfect recipe for excellent communication in this video. This recipe consists of;
1. Clarity (clear communication)
2. Brevity (concise communication)
3. Context (relevant communication)
4. Impact (memorable communication)
5. Value (valuable communication)

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Celeste Headlee discusses 10 ways to have a better conversation in the workplace. Her 10 ways are:
1. Don't multitask - practice mindfulness
2. Everybody is an expert in something -Enter every conversation assuming you are going to learn something.
3. Use open ended questions
4. Go with the flow
5. Be honest if you don't know something
6. Don't compare your experience with someone else's.
7. Try not to repeat yourself
8. Stay out of the weeds - Forget the details, they care about you.
9. Listen
10. Be brief and concise.

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Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation | TED

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The provided video by Katherine Hampsten   tells that communication involves two parties, a sender who gives the message and receiver who received the message. While communicating, sender expresss his/her interpretation of message while receiver hears his/her interpretation of message. However, our perceptual filters continuously shift the meaning and interpretation of messages and it leads to miscommunication.
However, the miscommunication can be avoided by applying certain practices. Firstly, engage actively with the verbal and non verbal feedback of others in workplace and adjust the message accordingly to facilitate greater understanding. Secondly, avoid rushing in expressing ourselves and facilitate two way communication. Thirdly, be aware of personal perceptual filters, which is crucial considering the cultural diversity in the workplace.

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How miscommunication happens (and how to avoid it) - Katherine Hampsten

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Antoni Lacinai talks about 6 different important communication truths that would be important during our life time. He mentions that nowadays digital technology has been developed by far that our actual physical communication skills has been lacking leading inefficient communication in workplace.

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6 communication truths that everyone should know | Antoni Lacinai | TEDxVasa

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This Ted Talk by James Rhee delves deeper into the importance of kindness and treating everyone with the same level of respect than the article that was given does. He describes kindness as an asset which people over looked. He gives examples of how we can practice it in our everyday life.

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James Rhee: The value of kindness at work

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Kindness can go a long way when it comes to reshaping a business. Having saved a fashion company from the brink of bankruptcy, entrepreneur James Rhee shares the value of investing in a culture of compassion at work -- and shows why we should all lead with our hearts.

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Critical Thinking Skills: A Process for Better Problem Solving and Decision Making - YouTube

This video covers many different components of effective critical thinking and how we can implement this in professional work environments. It gets to the heart of a lot of the content shared so far in this course around not holding onto preconceived notions of what is right or wrong and being open to discuss with others that hold opposite views to yourself. The information shared is very important as it asks us to reflect both personally and professionally in a world that holds many different views and standpoints.

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Critical Thinking Skills: A Process for Better Problem Solving and Decision Making

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Dr Grace Lee gives 8 useful tips to improving communications.
1. learn the shared language: understand the jargon of the workplace/industry etc. It allows you subconsciously marks you as a member of the group, rather than an outsider.
2. Create and Enrich connection by encouraging and practicing authenticity, vulnerability and trust.
3. Listen better by 1) embracing the silence using the 80/20 rule, 2) to be present and give them your complete attention, and 3) ask clarifying questions (both when talking and listening)
4. hold the responsibility for communicating especially if you're initiating the conversation
5. focus on outcomes, effective outcome is a symptom of good communication
6. be direct and concise as possible. 'Hit the headline'.
7. personalise it, you are talking to them not yourself.
8. respond with curiosity. If you want to influence people don't challenge people (that's adversarial), ask them engaging questions, understand why they said that. Couple with caring and concern in order to make active change.

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8 Tips to Communicate Effectively in The Workplace

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU
I always really liked this TED talk by Tim Urban. He captures how the combination of distractions, procrastination and being disorganised leads to panic, as the brain attempts to save you from stress, often creating more stress and creating a cycle. Its very light hearted and easy to understand.

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Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator | Tim Urban | TED

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This Ted Talk by Adam Galinsky really emphasises how important it is for people to speak up for themselves. But many people feel like they cannot do this because they have no power in the decision making process. For example, people who are in a positions of power have much more range to speak up and it’s the opposite for people with little power. Adam lists several strategies that enable us more power. One that stood out to me was empathise with others.

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How to speak up for yourself | Adam Galinsky

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https://youtu.be/-DspKSYxYDM

In his TED Talk, Jamil Zaki discusses he importance of empathy, understanding and emotional intelligence in order to effectively communicate and listen. He explains that empathy is the ability to detect and understand other people's feelings which can be improved through training and practice. In a professional context, improving empathy can reduce stress, build more positive relationships, and even boost revenues.

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We’re experiencing an empathy shortage, but we can fix it together | Jamil Zaki | TEDxMarin

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Effective listening skills are the basics of building successful relationships with people.

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Communication Skills: Empathetic Listening - Inside Out, 2015

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It is so important to communicate with your team members in a workplace as it allows for employees to feel understood and thus work more effectively

https://youtu.be/aFFSt5hgrDk

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How Ryder Uses Dynamic Signal to Connect with Employees

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Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

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Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

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In this video, says how to deal with anxiety calmly and faithfully, and have a conversation that suits the current situation.

In addition, it tells us the importance of listening rather than talking more, and I think it is similar to "Listening to more and more participants during group activities shows positive results". mentioned in the module video.

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Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

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Speaker and listener body language is a powerful form of communication that can be difficult to master, especially when the speaker is nervous. This video talks about non-verbal communication during communication, (body language) to enhance your non-verbal communication skills and better connect with your audience.

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In this video, Nina discusses the power and effectiveness of good communication skills in a workplace environment. She talks about how many people are brought up to value hard work and time efficiency, but not many people recognise the importance of being able to communicate efficiently in a workplace and how it can better improve your interpersonal relationships as well as your work.

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The Power of Communication | Nina Legath | TEDxYouth@ISF

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5mN63Xb81c

A tip that I was reminded by this prompt was what Thomas Frank termed as 'the netflix rule' (which is in this video at about 9:30, unfortunately I couldn't find the original video I watched). This rule is a sort of mindset to adopt when meeting people you've read or heard about online and really admire. It helps to break down the intimidation factor and become more confident and relaxed knowing that they probably are similar to you in some way - it's not that they are up on this pedestal doing what you think is amazing or unattainable day by day. Essentially, the idea is that before you approach someone who's like this you think about how no matter how successful they are they're likely to just go home, sit down on the couch and watch netflix (or some other common activity people do from time to time).

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SIMPLE HABITS That SKYROCKETED My PRODUCTIVITY! | Thomas Frank | Top 10 Rules

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Yw6dFQBklA

In this ted talk Marcus Velazquez discusses communication as an art form, almost like a song and dance. He says effective communication is being able to delivery a message to your audience and in turn, making sure they understand it. He goes onto discuss a lot of our conversations  become ineffective once we talk for too long (diarrhea of the mouth). He said the best way to communicate is to be simple and direct with another person/ simplicity is key.

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The Art of Effective Communication | Marcus Alexander Velazquez | TEDxWolcottSchool

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https://edu.gcfglobal.org/en/business-communication/the-power-of-body-language/1/

Body Language
This video discusses the importance of being aware that communication can start before you open your mouth. It is about how you can make sure you are communicating effectively and appropriately with body language and how without being aware of this you could be accidentally communicating with someone in a negative way.

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The power of body language

From the smallest movement of your hands to the way you stand, body language is a powerful form of nonverbal communication that most of us express and interpret without thinking twice. But understanding body language and learning how to better present yourself can improve your daily interactions. While body language covers a wide range of human expression, the most crucial aspects are posture, eye contact, and personal space.

Watch the video below to learn more about body language.

This lesson was written from a Western perspective. Because body language varies among cultures, this lesson is not intended to be universal.

Posture

When you hear the term body language, you may think about how you hold your body, or posture. The influence of posture cannot be understated, especially because the way you hold yourself can completely change the course of an interaction.

Let's say you went to the store and needed some assistance. When you walked up to the customer service desk, the two employees looked like this:

Would you feel confident in their ability to serve or respect you as a customer? Would you feel like you held their full attention?

If you feel like the employee on the right may be bored or tired, we don't blame you. By slouching over, he appears fearful or lethargic. Propping his head up on the counter with a dull expression also doesn't help, especially because his attention is occupied by the desk toy.

As for the employee on the left, his arms are crossed, suggesting he's closed off or defensive. His face is scrunched as if he's irritated, and he's turned away like you are not a priority. Even if these two employees said all the right things, their poor posture would undermine every word.

Let's go back to the customer service desk, after one of the employees gets a few tips on his posture.

How confident would you feel about this employee's willingness to help? He looks alert, friendly, and ready to give you his full attention, all thanks to good posture. He's standing tall with his back straight and shoulders pulled back while facing you with a smile.

Of course, if someone crosses their arms or slouches, it doesn't always prove that they feel irritated or fearful. Nevertheless, we instinctively read body language cues and react based on what we see, regardless of the other person's actual feelings. Stay aware of how you carry yourself, or you could give off the wrong impression.

Eye contact

When speaking with someone face to face, one of the fastest ways to build a personal connection is through eye contact, which is simply looking someone in the eyes during an interaction. Good eye contact shows you're paying attention, helps you read facial expressions, and often makes you feel and appear more confident.

Although eye contact is a key component of healthy interactions, it doesn't always come naturally to everyone. If you make poor eye contact, people may assume you're insecure, bored, or lack the self-confidence to look at them, even if you don't truly feel this way. This is why we recommend developing your eye contact skills:

If holding eye contact is too difficult at first, try focusing on the spot between the other person's eyes for a second or two. Practice this during short conversations with people you trust, then move on to direct eye contact. Once you're comfortable, try it all again with people you don't know as well.

We recommend maintaining eye contact for 4 to 5 seconds, gently looking away for a moment, then repeating. If you look at someone 100 percent of the time, it can come off as intimidating or creepy.

It's easier to keep eye contact when you're listening than when you're speaking. If you have to look away more often while you're speaking, that's perfectly normal.

Getting comfortable with eye contact takes time. It may be difficult at first, but it's an invaluable skill that's worth the effort. Keep practicing!

Personal space

Personal space is a simple yet critical part of body language. It's roughly a 4-foot (or 1.2-meter) radius around someone, although it can vary depending on the person. Typically, only family and close friends step within this area, so unless you share a close relationship with the other person, stand around 4 to 8 feet (or 1.2 to 2.4 meters) away as you converse with them. Otherwise, it may cause problems.

If you get too close, the other person may feel uncomfortable or even threatened by your presence, and they may not register your words due to their discomfort. Are they looking away, speaking in short bursts, or backing away from you? If so, you might be too close. Recognizing and respecting personal space will ensure your message isn't lost due to distance.

Understanding the various aspects of body language can make all the difference in how people perceive you and how you perceive them. Be aware of how you present yourself, and you can say a lot without speaking a word.

/en/business-communication/improve-your-conversation-skills/content/

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Business Communication: The Power of Body Language

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From the smallest movement of your hands to the way you stand, body language is a powerful form of nonverbal communication that most of us express and interpret without thinking twice. But understanding body language and learning how to better present yourself can improve your daily interactions.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk7MWcPjdUM

Esther Perel is my favourite psychological theorist and in this video she explains how to be assertive without tapping into ideas of masculine superiority. This video speaks about the concept of being confident and secure in yourself without falling into stereotypical tropes that relate to being the dominant provider. Whilst it isn't necessarily about the workplace, her understanding of relationships relates to all scenarios because it provides context to communicating with men at work and understanding common power dynamics that often occur in workplaces.

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How To Be Assertive Without Being Aggressive  - Esther Perel

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbcEMOrEEJM

Effective workplace communication can be achieved through regular staff meetings where all staff are involved. This allows the team to bond, discuss issues and talk about important upcoming events. This video offers crucial tips on how to contribute to team meetings and get the most out of them to have a successful workplace

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Effective team meetings: 3 crucial tips for successful team work!

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Being a good listener not just a good talker - Ruby Platt

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Being a good listener not just a good talker - Ruby Platt

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This video talks about how being good at listening to someone makes you a better communicator. The main points of the video are:

The good readers eggs us on, urges clarification, doesn't moralise, and separates disagreement from criticism.

The video covers why engaging with someone's perspectives works just as well for effective communication as presenting your own point of view.

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In our industry, a key skill needed to succeed  is the ability to be stubborn. No,not that type of stubborn. Stubbornness in your ideas, values and beliefs.

Speaking up for yourself and for what you think is right or wrong, is key in effective workplace communication.

Sometimes colleagues will overlook an issue because they're afraid of workplace conflict. Take five, breathe, and speak up. The best way to communicate, is openly and honestly.

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Speaking Up Without Freaking Out  | Matt Abrahams | TEDxPaloAlto

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How miscommunication happens (and how to avoid it)- Katherine Hampsten

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How miscommunication happens (and how to avoid it)- Katherine Hampsten

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We communicate through a transactional model; our messages are perceived differently by various audiences, and shaped by the other person's own worldviews and perception of the initial communicator's body language. To avoid miscommunication in the model, we need to be active and empathetic listeners, and understand the different ways our message may be perceived due to factors out of our control.

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How miscommunication happens (and how to avoid it) - Katherine Hampsten

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In this video, it teaches us how do to active listening. When talking to people, you must nod your head. Also, a good eye contact is favourably needed.

On the other hand, full attention should be given. This ensures that you understand what the person is talking about. Instead of just nodding, saying one or two words might be even better. For instance, "Yeah".

Assertive communication also plays an important role. Being direct and honest. Without making someone downcast.

Aggressive communication is bad and it can leads to hurting someone's feeling and violate people's rights.

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Active Listening: How To Communicate Effectively

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Body Language is an important skill that often goes unnoticed, however, is critical when communicating in the workplace.

Alike ones choice of words, pace and tone, body language plays an important part in communication.

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Body language can affect workplace morale. massdistraction

A council in Western Australia recently prohibited negative body language such as shrugging, eye-rolling and sighing in the workplace, but a blanket ban on certain gestures is destined to fail.

Body language, beyond the myths, is extremely complex and difficult to analyse.

It's also easy to misinterpret, with one gesture carrying myriad possible meanings; but there are some basic rules to follow when it comes to sending the right non-verbal messages at work.

The good, the bad and the ugly

Body language can provide positive reinforcement. Lovers, for instance, typically display behaviours that are in sequence and a reflection of each other. Psychologists call this "mirroring" or "rapport".

There are several well-known non-verbal signs, such as eye contact or gaze, body posture, and position, which indicate the health of a couple's relationship. Something as small as a smile or a nod can have large effects on our emotional reactions.

To a lesser extreme, leaders may use body language to encourage or support those they supervise. Furthermore, a leader's body language may show others they are approachable.

We've all experienced the person sitting back, arms open, and smiling at us invitingly. Contrast this with someone who is hunched over and non-responsive (a typical "closed" posture). Which person would you rather work with?

Most bosses rarely mock or demean their employees overtly. Covertly, however, many employees feel negativity on a daily basis.

This is where body language and non-verbal communication are of prime importance. While an employer may not explicitly ridicule an employee, they may certainly act in a way that makes the employee feel inferior; they may refuse to nod, adopt a hostile facial expression or position their body in a way that suggests they are not interested in what their employee is saying.

Context is everything

Context speaks volumes, much louder than body language. Attempting to interpret body language by analysing a single gesture is like trying to understand a sentence through one word.

This is typically where individuals attempting lie detection fall short. We've all heard that truth-benders instinctively touch their face. In fact, the body language of lying is more likely to include a cluster of subtle signs involving the entire body, such as sudden twitching of the feet, or stopping a movement in order to concentrate - so don't jump to conclusions just because someone covered their mouth once, or looked away, while speaking.

The signs of disbelief (averting the eyes, covering the mouth), may also be a typical response to embarrassment. There are also numerous examples of body language that in one country conveys something very different to another country.

Westerners may unconsciously stand arms akimbo (hands on hips) because they are thinking or because they simply want to rest their arms. In Indonesia, however, this gesture is routinely interpreted as a sign of aggression and anger.

By its very nature, body language may be impossible to control but may also be unintended or a result of an unrelated association the individual makes.

You may see someone you normally like in a shirt that reminds you of a recently deceased relative, leading you to become upset and avoid that person. You can begin to see the difficulty of a policy that aims to ban negative body language at work.

Ideas that move us

Ouija boards and pendulums that seem to move toward or away from something in a way that signifies meaning highlight what psychologists call the ideomotor phenomenon.

Essentially, ideas can prime movements without conscious awareness. You can be manipulated into acting by the mere suggestion of an idea, a concept routinely exploited in magic tricks that appear to demonstrate mind-reading ability.

A further example of the ideomotor effect: when we agree with someone, we nod. If I can make you nod, I am more likely to make you agree. One way to do this, is by simply nodding at you, as we often return a nod with a nod. The famous British entertainer Derren Brown has employed this technique so frequently that it has become a tic he cannot inhibit.

Perhaps more unsettling is when those processes are used to manipulate our emotions. As outlined, lovers who are naturally attracted to each other show increased mirroring of behaviour. Car salesmen refer to this as pacing and seduction coaches incorporate it into their training programs, to varying degrees of success.

Don't overthink it

It is clear that body language can have a large impact on our thoughts and feelings, and that includes how we feel at work.

The council that banned "negative body language" is right to highlight the importance of body language in daily communication but the importance of context cannot be underestimated in understanding body language.

We can all adopt a few simple habits to make our body language more friendly at work: smile, don't stand over people, don't adopt gestures of disinterest when your co-workers are talking to you and feel free to nod to show you're receiving information in a positive manner.

But don't overdo it.

For anyone wishing to decode body language with any level of accuracy, focusing on isolated behaviours is destined to fail.

The attention needed to understand the reason and meaning of a gesture could probably be better spent doing your actual work, which would make all your co-workers and bosses happier anyway.

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Body talk: how body language affects workplace morale

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A council in Western Australia recently prohibited negative body language such as shrugging, eye-rolling and sighing in the workplace, but a blanket ban on certain gestures is destined to fail. Body language, beyond the myths, is extremely complex and difficult to analyse.

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Active Listening
Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others.

For instance:

We listen to obtain information.

We listen to understand.

We listen for enjoyment.

We listen to learn.

This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, the complete message being communicated.

In order to do this you must pay attention to the other person very carefully.

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Improve Your Listening Skills with Active Listening

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Use appropriate assertiveness to request things within your rights without impinging on the rights of others.

Being assertive is not being aggressive. It is looking after your rights while respecting those of others.

Appropriate assertiveness:

Informs others or your ideas, needs or opinions

Asks directly for what you want

Decreases the likelihood of misunderstandings

Sends a clear message which helps reduce conflict

Expresses feelings appropriately rather than bottling them up

Confronts others constructively

Establishes respect and trust

To practice appropriate assertiveness:

1. Know what you want to say and stick to the subject

2. Speak in a clear, audible voice and at and appropriate speed.

3. Watch your body language - don't send double messages.

4. Make eye contact, sit or stand tall

5. Remain calm. Use your "Quick Relaxation" technique first.

6. Show respect for the other person (don't raise your voice, be courteous, listen to them, accept that they may have another point of view)

7. Consider timing. When raising an important or problematic issue, make sure there is sufficient time for a proper discussion. Choose a time when all parties are reasonably calm.

8. When confrontation is required, use "I" statements to avoid blaming, judging or accusing (when...., I feel...because...I want / need / would like...., then...)

9. User the cracked record technique: "I hear what you are saying, but ...." Repeat your preferred outcome. Repeat your preferred outcome. Repeat your preferred outcome.

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Use an "I" statement when you need to let the other person know you are feeling strongly about an issue.

An "I" Statement tells the other person how you feel about something without blaming, judging their motives or demanding that they change. "I" Statements help you to hold your ground without treating the other person as an opponent.

"I" Statements can be particularly effective when you are angry, irritated or upset. "I" Statements help you get the outcomes you need to manage your pain and maximise your functioning.

There are five ingredients to an "I" Statement:

1. The Situation: When (say what happened).

2. Your Emotional Response: I feel... (angry, annoyed, upset, etc.)

3. The Reason: Because (your thoughts about why it upset you)

4. Your preferred outcome: What i'd like / need/ prefer is... (what you want to happen or change

5. The Mutual Benefit: Then... (how things would work better for everyone)

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How to Confront Someone using "I Feel" Statements