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Her anger and sadness lead to violent intrusive thoughts and episodes of loneliness and depression.

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Leonie continues to blame everyone else except herself for her problems. Not just her parents, but her children too. This is despite her mothers support for whatever choice she made and it being her choice to carry out these pregnancies.

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Yet Leonie still gets defensive when her mother offers her opinion. Even when she knows her mother is right. She doesn't want her mother to be right and wants to be in control of her choices and feelings.

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In moments of fear or stress, she still seeks out the comfort of her mother despite their disagreements. No matter what emotions or feelings of resentment she carries towards her mother, she still considers her a safe place.

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She believes that her and Michael are perfectly healthy on their own and that the problems always come from her parents instead of herself. Their relationship has been strained after her brother's death due to her decisions.

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Her conflicting emotions towards her mother (comfort vs. resentment).

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Her conflicting emotions towards her mother (comfort vs. resentment).

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"I bend in half, my mouth in my elbow and knees, and moan. Wish it was Mama's lap." (Ward 167)

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"... and I leaned forward and put my head in her lap again, and she ran her hands up and down my spine, over my shoulder blades, pressed in on the base of my neck." (Ward 159)

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"I wanted to defend myself, but I knew I was lying, because when I woke up in the morning, I thought of Michael's laugh," (Ward 154)

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"Y'all could get your own place. You always say the problem is y'all parents. Yours 'cause you live with them; his because they're assholes." (Ward 91)