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Creating and using a Sensory room_space (1)

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🚫📱 Say Goodbye to Tech Overload (Without the Meltdowns)

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What to expect when you're expecting your kid to return home from school for the summer | Family Mat

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🗓️✨ Visual Schedules: How and Why They Work

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🤒 Did You Know? Medical Conditions Typically Associated with Autism

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Tips to help tame sibling rivalry | Family Matters

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Our parenting expert, Patty Maxwell, stopped by to talk more about sibling rivalries and what you can do to tame them.

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How to maintain some sense of order in our homes | Family Matters

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transitioning into a new season can be tricky for kids -especially those with behavioral challenges. Changes in routines, sensory shifts, and new activities can feel overwhelming, but don't worry! I've got you covered with four simple tips to help your child smoothly shift into springtime. 💛

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Congratulations, Patty Maxwell, a recipient of the Pittsburgh Professional Women 2021 Influential Leadership Award. Women from the region have been selected to receive this prestigious recognition because of the courage, leadership, innovation, creativity, and resilience that was modeled in 2020 while living, working, and leading others through a pandemic.

In 2018, Patty started Engage Kidz LLC to offer private behavioral and developmental services for children, families, and schools.

2020 brought a special sort of challenges to parents of children with disabilities. They felt even more alone than usual as they tackled isolation and fear along with the usual educational dilemmas for their children. Unable to visit families at home or school, Patty immediately began offering virtual appointments for students and their parents. Patty was invited to train teachers and service providers across Western PA and participated in a global summit for families where she taught parents how to manage behavioral issues in young children.

Living, working and leading with excellence during the pandemic.

Learn more and see other recipients HERE.

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Understanding the Role of Behavioral Therapy in Child Development

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The Benefits of Early Intervention: Why You Should Start Early

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How to Support Your Child’s Emotional Well-Being at Home

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Creating a nurturing home environment is essential for fostering your child’s emotional well-being. Children thrive when they feel understood, supported, and safe to express their emotions. In this blog, we’ll explore ac…

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Congratulations, Patty Maxwell, a recipient of the Pittsburgh Professional Women 2021 Influential Leadership Award. Women from the region have been selected to receive this prestigious recognition because of the courage, leadership, innovation, creativity, and resilience that was modeled in 2020 while living, working, and leading others through a pandemic.

In 2018, Patty started Engage Kidz LLC to offer private behavioral and developmental services for children, families, and schools.

2020 brought a special sort of challenges to parents of children with disabilities. They felt even more alone than usual as they tackled isolation and fear along with the usual educational dilemmas for their children. Unable to visit families at home or school, Patty immediately began offering virtual appointments for students and their parents. Patty was invited to train teachers and service providers across Western PA and participated in a global summit for families where she taught parents how to manage behavioral issues in young children.

Living, working and leading with excellence during the pandemic.

Learn more and see other recipients HERE.

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The Importance of Consistency in Behavioral Therapy for Children

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Behavioral therapy plays a crucial role in supporting children with various developmental and behavioral challenges. One of the most important factors for success in this type of therapy is consistency. Whether it's thro...

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How to Help Your Child Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

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Building self-esteem and confidence is essential for a child’s overall development. It affects their behavior, social skills, and academic success. Here are some strategies to help your child grow in these areas:

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Easy ways to get back to the basics with your kids | Family Matters

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Cozy Winter Fun: 4 Indoor Sensory Activities for Kids!

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Explaining the value of volunteering and helping others in need | Family Matters

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Tackling tough topics with your kids | Family Matters

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Parents say kids at Texas preschool were given "sleepy stickers"

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Helping Shy Kids Feel Comfortable at Family Events

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9. I can sleep in my own bed social story

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Halloween Tips for Kids with Sensory or Social Challenges

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There are plenty of ways to make sure every child can join in the fun, no matter their needs.

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Signs that autistic children are ready for toilet training

Autistic children generally show the same signs of readiness for toilet training as typically developing children. But these signs might appear when autistic children are older, and the training might take longer.

If your autistic child is ready for toilet training, they might be able to:

tell you (or show you with a sign or gesture) that they've wet or soiled their nappy or clothes

follow a simple instruction like 'Sit on the toilet'

pull their pants up and down

do regular, formed bowel movements

stay dry for at least 2 hours during the day.

Before you start toilet training, it's a good idea to speak with your child's paediatrician or GP. They can rule out any medical problems that might get in the way of toilet training and say whether your child might be ready to start.

Getting started on toilet training with autistic children

The steps to toilet training are much the same for all children. But autistic children might need extra support and strategies adjusted to suit their needs.

Our article on toilet training can get you started. Then you can use the following strategies to help your autistic child go from nappies to the potty or toilet:

encouragement and rewards

social stories

video modelling

visual supports.

It's a good idea to try a combination of these strategies to see what works best for your child.

Regardless of which strategy or combination of strategies you use, it's also a good idea to break down the process of going to the toilet into smaller parts. You can teach these parts to your child step by step - for example, pull pants down, sit on the toilet, wipe bottom and so on.

Encouragement, rewards and toilet training

If you praise and reward your child as they learn each step of using the toilet, it can encourage them to keep trying. You could try:

descriptive praise - for example, 'Charlie, well done for sitting on the toilet'

nonverbal praise, gestures (clapping) or signs (thumbs up)

a favourite activity - for example, playtime with trains

a star on a reward chart.

Before you start, plan exactly what behaviour you'll reward, and make sure your child understands. Try a variety of rewards, and use the ones your child responds to best.

Once your child has made progress on a step, gradually fade out any rewards, but keep praising your child.

We used a reward system - Sesame Street stickers for wee and a lucky dip bag for poo. He caught on straight away for his bladder, but it took longer with his bowels. We just kept asking if he needed to poo and waved the lucky dip bag in front of him, making it very clear he would get something if he went. One day something just clicked for him and we haven't had an accident since.

Social stories and toilet training

Social stories can help autistic children cope with challenging or confusing situations like toilet training.

Experienced speech pathologists, occupational therapists or school teachers will be able to help you create a social story for your child's toilet training.

If your child will be going to the toilet at a friend's home or somewhere else other than home, practise a new story for this situation with your child ahead of time. When the event happens, the story can help your child know what to do.

When you're writing a social story, use words and pictures that your child can understand. Suggest possible responses and behaviour, rather than making the story an exact 'script' to follow.

Video modelling

Autistic children are often visual learners. So you can support your child's learning by using video modelling. For example, you and your child could watch animations or videos that show other children doing each step of going to the toilet.

Visual supports and toilet training

Visual cues and prompts can be a good option for autistic children.

You could try creating a visual support or schedule to show your child the steps in using the toilet. You could use the Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) or other visual aids. Stick the schedule on a wall close to the toilet or potty to remind your child of the steps.

Go over the schedule with your child 2-3 times a day. Everyone who does toileting with your child will need to know and follow the schedule. This way, training will be consistent.

A simple visual aid for toileting is shown here. Download and print an A4 version of this visual aid for toileting (PDF: 111kb).

Adapting toilet training steps and strategies for autistic children: tips

These tips can help you adapt the process of toilet training to your child's needs:

Skip the 'potty' stage if your child has difficulty with change. If you start with a toilet training seat on the toilet, this limits the number of changes for your child.

Make going to the toilet part of your everyday routine. For example, ask your child to sit on the toilet at the same times each day.

Start with sitting on the toilet for a short time and build up to a maximum of 5 minutes. Sitting on the toilet for too long can make your child feel that they're being punished.

Choose and use only one word for the toilet. Get everyone in the family to use it. For example, always say 'toilet' or 'loo'. If you use various words, it can be confusing for your child.

Use specific language when talking about going to the toilet. For example, say, 'Eddie, sit on the toilet and do a wee'. This helps your child understand what to do.

Teach your child how to let you know they need to go to the toilet. This could include nonverbal signing or using the Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS).

For our son, it all revolved around change. We started by teaching him to wee in the garden, then into a bucket in the garden, then into a bucket inside, then into a bucket next to the toilet, then finally into the toilet. This took nearly a year! I tried to make the toilet a happy place for him to visit by putting Bob the Builder stickers all over the door and letting him have little matchbox cars.

Handling sensory sensitivities: tips

If your autistic child is sensitive to the sensory aspects of going to the toilet, try to make the environment and experience comfortable for your child. For example:

Try washable, reusable training underpants or underpants with a protective liner. These help your child become aware of feeling wet. When the pants get wet, you can point this out in a positive way. For example, 'Your pants are wet. That means you did a wee. Next time you could use the toilet'.

Control the environment if you can. For example, if the floor is cold, put socks on your child's feet. Make the temperature in the toilet similar to the rest of the house. Check that the light isn't too bright.

Put a stool in front of the toilet for your child's feet if their feet don't reach the floor. This can help your child to sit comfortably and feel more stable.

Use a training seat if your child is frightened of the big hole over the water. Get your child familiar with the seat by encouraging them to sit on it for a few minutes every day.

Tell your child there will be a noisy, flushing sound, and explain why. Let your child practise flushing or wear headphones if they find the noise distressing.

Let your child hold a favourite object while sitting on the toilet.

Toilet training is more likely to go well if you can stay calm and positive. When you're calm and positive, you can help your child to manage their feelings as they learn this new skill.

Toilet training setbacks for autistic children: what to do

Setbacks are part of toilet training for all children. They can include behaviour problems, constipation and things going backwards.

Behaviour problems
Sometimes autistic children who are toilet training can behave in challenging ways. For example, they might be afraid of the toilet, go in places other than the toilet, fill the toilet with paper and other materials, continually flush the toilet, smear poo on the wall and other places, or refuse to poo.

If your child is behaving in these ways, professionals like psychologists or occupational therapists can help you develop strategies to overcome these problems.

Constipation
Constipation is a common problem in children. If your child avoids doing poos, it might be constipation.

Constipation is usually caused by not enough water or other fluids or not enough dietary fibre. Some autistic children are selective eaters, which can cause them to become constipated more easily than other children.

If you think your child is constipated, see your paediatrician or GP. They can rule out any underlying medical concerns and help you manage your child's constipation.

Things going backwards
Sometimes children's toilet training progress might stop, or things might seem to go backwards.

If this happens, you could keep a record of when your child wees or poos in their pants. If a pattern develops over a week or so, target these times by taking your child to the toilet just before your child would normally wee or poo in their pants.

Or you might notice that your child wees in their pants when they're away from home. This might be because your child doesn't like the sensory environment of unfamiliar toilets. Options for managing this include getting your child to put on headphones to use the toilet.

Sometimes these issues might be related to things like stress, illness, constipation or diarrhoea. Your GP or other professionals working with your child can help you sort out these issues.

If toilet training becomes a battle with no signs of progress, take a break for now. Consider starting the training again in about 3 months. Don't feel that you've failed - it might just be that your child isn't ready.

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Help toilet training go well for autistic children by teaching in steps, using rewards, visual supports and social stories, and making children comfortable.

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Parenting expert weighs in on a classic rite of childhood may be better for health and well-being |

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Keeping your sanity and the kids happy on a family vacation

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Host Heather Abraham is talking with Patty Maxwell, of Engage Kidz LLC, about how to plan for family vacations with kids of any age group.

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How to lessen tantrums and meltdowns from children

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Host Heather Abraham is chatting with Patty Maxwell, of Engage Kidz, about how to reduce and lessen tantrums from children of all ages.

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Family Matters: Transitioning from school to summer

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School is starting to wrap up for many local students and the transition to summer can be stressful for both parents and children. Host Heather Abraham is talking with Patty Maxwell, of Engage Kidz LLC, to get some tips for families.

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Don’t let the kids drive you crazy! Discipline tips from Engage Kidz

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Are the kids getting crazy yet? Do you feel yourself losing your temper, or struggling with discipline? Patty Maxwell, of Engage Kidz, LLC, is here to offer some tips that you can use no matter their age.

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Back to School: Tips to buying school supplies, planning lunches and shopping for clothes

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Patty Maxwell from Engage Kidz joined Talk Pittsburgh to share tips on how to make it as smooth as possible to buy school supplies, plan lunch and go shopping for clothes.

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Family Matters: Healing your inner child

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How do we navigate differences in parenting styles?

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Patty Maxwell shares tips on how to avoid tantrums, or even a parent meltdown, on vacation

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Surviving persistent kids | Family Matters

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Tips for getting kids on a back to school sleep schedule

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The school year is almost here! With a blink of an eye our little ones are growing fast and headed into school, perhaps for the first time. With each year that our kids go to school, there are different things to except.

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Kids having temper tantrums? - I've got some tips!

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Nurturing Emotional Intelligence in Kids

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Summer Parent Tip: Sticking to Your Word

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maintain consistency in our parenting. This season can be both delightful and challenging as we balance vacations, outdoor activities, and family gatherings. One key aspect to focus on during this time is the importance of sticking to your word when parenting.

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Are Your Kids Cranky, Irritable and Tantrum-Prone?

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The answer to their behavioral issues may be easier than you think.

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Congratulations, Patty Maxwell, a recipient of the Pittsburgh Professional Women 2021 Influential Leadership Award. Women from the region have been selected to receive this prestigious recognition because of the courage, leadership, innovation, creativity, and resilience that was modeled in 2020 while living, working, and leading others through a pandemic.

In 2018, Patty started Engage Kidz LLC to offer private behavioral and developmental services for children, families, and schools.

2020 brought a special sort of challenges to parents of children with disabilities. They felt even more alone than usual as they tackled isolation and fear along with the usual educational dilemmas for their children. Unable to visit families at home or school, Patty immediately began offering virtual appointments for students and their parents. Patty was invited to train teachers and service providers across Western PA and participated in a global summit for families where she taught parents how to manage behavioral issues in young children.

Living, working and leading with excellence during the pandemic.

Learn more and see other recipients HERE.

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As trying as these times can be for adults, for children it can become overwhelming and debilitating. Kids notice and absorb the changes in those around them. They hear adults and older siblings talk about it and may see...

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Congratulations, Patty Maxwell, a recipient of the Pittsburgh Professional Women 2021 Influential Leadership Award. Women from the region have been selected to receive this prestigious recognition because of the courage, leadership, innovation, creativity, and resilience that was modeled in 2020 while living, working, and leading others through a pandemic.

In 2018, Patty started Engage Kidz LLC to offer private behavioral and developmental services for children, families, and schools.

2020 brought a special sort of challenges to parents of children with disabilities. They felt even more alone than usual as they tackled isolation and fear along with the usual educational dilemmas for their children. Unable to visit families at home or school, Patty immediately began offering virtual appointments for students and their parents. Patty was invited to train teachers and service providers across Western PA and participated in a global summit for families where she taught parents how to manage behavioral issues in young children.

Living, working and leading with excellence during the pandemic.

Learn more and see other recipients HERE.

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Children Been Driving You Crazy Over the Past Few Months?

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Here are Tips to Make Life a Little Less Chaotic and More Enjoyable with Your Family.

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Congratulations, Patty Maxwell, a recipient of the Pittsburgh Professional Women 2021 Influential Leadership Award. Women from the region have been selected to receive this prestigious recognition because of the courage, leadership, innovation, creativity, and resilience that was modeled in 2020 while living, working, and leading others through a pandemic.

In 2018, Patty started Engage Kidz LLC to offer private behavioral and developmental services for children, families, and schools.

2020 brought a special sort of challenges to parents of children with disabilities. They felt even more alone than usual as they tackled isolation and fear along with the usual educational dilemmas for their children. Unable to visit families at home or school, Patty immediately began offering virtual appointments for students and their parents. Patty was invited to train teachers and service providers across Western PA and participated in a global summit for families where she taught parents how to manage behavioral issues in young children.

Living, working and leading with excellence during the pandemic.

Learn more and see other recipients HERE.

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What is a brain break? Getting up and moving around helps change focus, wake up your body and reboot the brain. Brain breaks will help increase focus and attention for children of all ages. It's unrealistic to expect a 6...

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Congratulations, Patty Maxwell, a recipient of the Pittsburgh Professional Women 2021 Influential Leadership Award. Women from the region have been selected to receive this prestigious recognition because of the courage, leadership, innovation, creativity, and resilience that was modeled in 2020 while living, working, and leading others through a pandemic.

In 2018, Patty started Engage Kidz LLC to offer private behavioral and developmental services for children, families, and schools.

2020 brought a special sort of challenges to parents of children with disabilities. They felt even more alone than usual as they tackled isolation and fear along with the usual educational dilemmas for their children. Unable to visit families at home or school, Patty immediately began offering virtual appointments for students and their parents. Patty was invited to train teachers and service providers across Western PA and participated in a global summit for families where she taught parents how to manage behavioral issues in young children.

Living, working and leading with excellence during the pandemic.

Learn more and see other recipients HERE.

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Who is having power struggles with their preschoolers?

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Maybe the real question should be who ISN'T having power struggles with their preschoolers?

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Congratulations, Patty Maxwell, a recipient of the Pittsburgh Professional Women 2021 Influential Leadership Award. Women from the region have been selected to receive this prestigious recognition because of the courage, leadership, innovation, creativity, and resilience that was modeled in 2020 while living, working, and leading others through a pandemic.

In 2018, Patty started Engage Kidz LLC to offer private behavioral and developmental services for children, families, and schools.

2020 brought a special sort of challenges to parents of children with disabilities. They felt even more alone than usual as they tackled isolation and fear along with the usual educational dilemmas for their children. Unable to visit families at home or school, Patty immediately began offering virtual appointments for students and their parents. Patty was invited to train teachers and service providers across Western PA and participated in a global summit for families where she taught parents how to manage behavioral issues in young children.

Living, working and leading with excellence during the pandemic.

Learn more and see other recipients HERE.

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Now that most of us have had about 4-6 weeks of trying to settle into school, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

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Mothers of Misfits Podcast:How to Navigate IEPs in Virtual School

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Some IEPs just don’t translate well to virtual schooling. Patty Maxwell, a licensed behavioral specialist, provides strategies for families to effectively engage the school and get to a solution that works for everybody.…

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Congratulations, Patty Maxwell, a recipient of the Pittsburgh Professional Women 2021 Influential Leadership Award. Women from the region have been selected to receive this prestigious recognition because of the courage, leadership, innovation, creativity, and resilience that was modeled in 2020 while living, working, and leading others through a pandemic.

In 2018, Patty started Engage Kidz LLC to offer private behavioral and developmental services for children, families, and schools.

2020 brought a special sort of challenges to parents of children with disabilities. They felt even more alone than usual as they tackled isolation and fear along with the usual educational dilemmas for their children. Unable to visit families at home or school, Patty immediately began offering virtual appointments for students and their parents. Patty was invited to train teachers and service providers across Western PA and participated in a global summit for families where she taught parents how to manage behavioral issues in young children.

Living, working and leading with excellence during the pandemic.

Learn more and see other recipients HERE.

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These have been tough times for everyone, especially our children. It's hard to look at the bright side of things all the time. Sometimes the glass isn't half full. In fact, sometimes it's just empty! Usually, the time f...

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Congratulations, Patty Maxwell, a recipient of the Pittsburgh Professional Women 2021 Influential Leadership Award. Women from the region have been selected to receive this prestigious recognition because of the courage, leadership, innovation, creativity, and resilience that was modeled in 2020 while living, working, and leading others through a pandemic.

In 2018, Patty started Engage Kidz LLC to offer private behavioral and developmental services for children, families, and schools.

2020 brought a special sort of challenges to parents of children with disabilities. They felt even more alone than usual as they tackled isolation and fear along with the usual educational dilemmas for their children. Unable to visit families at home or school, Patty immediately began offering virtual appointments for students and their parents. Patty was invited to train teachers and service providers across Western PA and participated in a global summit for families where she taught parents how to manage behavioral issues in young children.

Living, working and leading with excellence during the pandemic.

Learn more and see other recipients HERE.

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When most of us think of sensory we think of the 5 basic senses...hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting & touching. Did you know there are two more senses that aren't talked about as often? Proprioceptive & Vestibular. Thos...

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Becoming trauma-aware, trauma-sensitive, trauma-informed, and trauma-competent are indicators of a person's abilities to make use of trauma lenses. Trauma lenses create a heightened clarity with the power to change the wearer's attitude by increasing feelings of compassion, developing a willingness to be more accepting and tolerant, and creating a space where people impacted by trauma feel safer, cared for and respected.

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Trauma Awareness - EdCamp Lite & TaC Retreat 2023 by Tracy Shank | This newsletter was created with Smore, an online tool for creating beautiful newsletters for educators, businesses and more

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Talking to your child about their diagnosis is tricky.

Yet, when we don't talk to kids about their differently-wired brains, they start to develop their own narrative about why they've different - and these narratives are often negative and harmful.

In the last post, I shared a template for understanding your child's profile. Today, I'll share a way to use that language to help your child understand their diagnosis in a positive and empowering way!

In other words, to shift their narrative from, "I'm broken," to:

To help you talk to your child about their diagnosis, I put together a fill-in-the-blank template. This is designed as a starting place, to give you ideas for what to say and how to say it.

I hope it's helpful for your family!

Here's what you'll need to know to fill it out and start talking to your child about their amazing brain!

The best place to start this conversation is by thinking about a problem your child wants to solve.

Chances are your child was tested because adults saw a problem or difficulty and wanted to know more. But the way we - as adults - describe problems is often different than how kids describe their daily experience.

For example:

So, the first step for talking to your child about their diagnosis is thinking about how they describe the things that are most challenging for them.

Then, you can open the conversation like this:

You know your were saying [problem in your child's words]?I learned some things that may help us understand why that's been so tricky. Can I share with you what I learned?

In my previous article, I described a way to understand your child's profile or diagnosis using a construction metaphor. Now, we can share this metaphor with your child.

It may sound like this:

Your brain has many different parts, all working together to help you learn and do what you want to do. Your brain works by sending messages from one part to another using special cells called "neurons."Neurons connect to each other, making pathways in our brains, like billions of tiny roads.

Just like the roads we use every day, some brain roads are easy to travel and others may feel tricky. Sometimes getting where you want to go is a straight-shot, and other times you need to find a different way to get to your destination.

There are some things that come easily to your child. You can think of these as their highways - the roads that are easier to travel.

Start by asking your child,

What are some things that come easily for you? What do you love to do?

Write down their answers on your template, and add a few of your own. Try to come up with a list of at least 5.

Some things may be more challenging for your child's brain. You can think of these as their construction zones. These are the skills that their brain is building, or where they may need to build a different route to get to their goals.

Talking about challenges can be hard for many kids, so before asking "what's challenging?" I find it helpful to ask this:

What's something that used to be hard for you?

If they don't know, you may have some ideas such as walking, riding a bike, or writing their name! This is an example of how their brain is constantly building new roads.

Now that they know their brain builds new roads all the time, we can ask about their next construction project:

What is your brain working on now?

Make a list of 1-3 things that your child agrees are current "construction projects."

Now that your child has helped you make a list of how they describe their highways and construction zones, you can bring these words together to help them understand their diagnosis - and what it means for them.

To introduce diagnostic terms, I start by letting them know they are not alone!

It turns our you're not alone! Lots of people have highways and construction zones just like you. In fact, there's a name for it! It's called...

Here, I may use specific terms like ADHD, autism, or dyslexia. Or, if a child does not have a specific diagnosis, I might use a more general word like neurodiversity.

Next, I define their diagnosis using their words:

For you, [your diagnosis] means your brain was built in a way that makes [your highways] come easily and [your construction projects]more difficult.

Here are a few examples:

Now that your child understands their brain, it will be easier for them to understand why they will be getting a specific intervention.

In other words, you can tell your child:

Now that we know more about your brain, we can build on your highways and help you with your construction projects! There are some tools and strategies that may be helpful to you, as well as people - your construction crew - who will be supporting you along the way.

While the evaluator may have recommended many things, focus on the "top 5" supports your child will receive. For example:

Working with a tutor to build math skills

Using a computer to build note-taking skills

Using "brain breaks" in class to build self-awareness

Joining a lunch group to build friendships

Talking with a peer to build on your ideas

When kids know why they are getting a specific intervention or support, it not only becomes more meaningful, but it will be more effective.

Congratulations! You're ready to talk to your child about their amazing brain!

Before talking to your child, don't forget to download this template to guide your conversation:

This spreadsheet contains helpful videos and websites to show your child that they are not alone!

It can be challenging for children to explain their experience. Click below to learn some of the ways kids have described their strengths, challenges, and diagnosis.

Perhaps their words will resonate with your child!

Kids' Words for Explaining a Diagnosis

This short course will walk you through the steps of talking to your child about their diagnosis.

I hope this has been helpful for strategies for talking to your child about their amazing brain! As always, let me know how else I can support you on your journey!
Click here to contact me.

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Explaining a Diagnosis | Explaining Brains

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Talking to your child about their diagnosis is tricky. Yet, when we don't talk to kids about their differently-wired brains, they start to develop their own narrative about why they've different - and these narratives are often negative and harmful. In the last post, I shared a template for understanding your child's profile.