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I was shocked at how my relatives reacted and my mom’s attitude towards something I regarded as trivial

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As the smallest child in the extended family, I struggled at every big gathering on important occasions

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At one big gathering on new year’s day, I met a cousin who was a year younger than me

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When we were about to have lunch, people started doing practice as usual

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When it was his turn, my younger cousin only said, “Have a good meal, everyone,” and then started his lunch

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This shocked my relatives, who immediately expressed disapproval by yelling at him and making him redo his practice.
My mom even told me that my cousin was an example of not being taught by his parents

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Then, I realized this practice was more than just customary; it showed the hierarchical order of the family

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This complicated practice baffled me a lot

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I always thought this practice was lengthy and unimportant

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A child must know his place in the family to act accordingly

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By violating the practice, he could upset the whole order and lead to the collapse of the family

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Typically, the eldest would have to say: “Moi ca nha an com,” loosely translated as “Have a good meal, everyone.” They regard all other members in inferior positions; therefore, one saying referring to all others as a whole is sufficient

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It’s a customary saying to begin a meal officially

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However, one experience has changed my viewpoint on this practice

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People who are second to the eldest, usually their sons or daughters, first of all, have to express respect towards the superiors beforehand by saying: “Con moi bo/me”. Subsequently, they said  “Have a good meal, everyone.” to others.

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The sayings should also be in hierarchical order from the eldest

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However, with people in the same position or of a lower level, we could refer to them in one sentence: “Have a good meal, everyone.”

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This event taught me the value of social practice to a community and the repercussion of social practice violation

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All the rules apply to every type of meal and must not be changed.

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Additionally, people would have to wait until the last person completed all of their sayings before digging in

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In conclusion, the lower the rank is, the more sayings we would have to do before starting a meal