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Anxiety is a word we use to describe feelings of worry, fear and panic. As well as these emotional feelings, people with anxiety might also experience physical (body) sensations such as a racing heart, breathing fast, sweaty hands, dry mouth and feeling shaky. Many people also have "what if" or negative thoughts when they are anxious.

Anxiety is a normal human response to feeling threatened or in danger, even if that threat or danger is a thought, image or memory. We all experience anxiety from time to time. Anxiety can become a real problem if the thoughts, emotions (feelings) and physical sensations are very strong, happen even when there is no real danger or if it lasts for a long time.

Lots of people experience worry and anxiety although for some people it can impact on everyday life and get in the way of school/college, socialising and even home life. The types of anxiety that are most common but cause a lot of distress include:

Worries about what other people think of you or worries about being judged negatively and not feeling good enough

Worries about bad things happening to you or the people you love and care about

Uncontrollable constant worry about lots of things (like school, the future, health, world events)

Worries about your safety and health (including worries about germs and contamination)

Phobias (big fears) about specific things

Worries that you are responsible for bad things happening

Feeling the need to complete certain routines, rituals or behaviour to stop bad things from happening (commonly known as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

If anxiety has become a problem for you, there is lots you can do to manage and cope.

Check out the 'what to do' workbooks which young people and families can use and can be downloaded from this page. These provide information and practical strategies to help you manage. It's important to remember we can't get rid of anxiety (or any other emotion) but we can learn how to cope and manage with it.

Worries and anxiety are common; everyone worries so it's important to remember you are not alone. Some worries may seem very real and very scary. Tell someone how you are feeling no matter what your worries are, even if you are worried about doing so. There will be someone who will listen and try to support you.

Although anxiety feels horrible, remember these feelings will pass and the physical sensations cannot harm you. Remind yourself that you have been anxious before, that those feelings passed, that you coped and were ok. If you need to, use activities, such as watching TV, spending time with friends, reading, making things and listening to music, to help manage until you feel a bit better.

You cannot avoid all the things that make you feel anxious so face your FEARs with confidence following these four steps;

Focus - rather than worry about the past, future or the unknown, focus on the present moment, the here and now

Expose - the more you face your fears the easier it will become to manage

Approach - the fear of experiencing anxiety is often worse than the situation you are avoiding. Face your fear and see for yourself that the situation probably isn't as bad as you are predicting

Rehearse - practice anxiety management techniques.

You can find lots of these on the Youth Anxiety website.

Struggling with Anxiety? Try on a new perspective - credit AnxietyBC

What Not to Say to someone with Anxiety

Guided Mindfulness: Passing Clouds - Dr Natalie Roberts

Guided Mindfulness: Leaves on a Stream

Introduction to Mindfulness

Mindful Breathing

Mindfulness for Emotions

Mindfulness Values Exercise

Mindfulness Body Scan

Struggling with Anxiety? Try on a new perspective - credit AnxietyBC

What Not to Say to someone with Anxiety

Guided Mindfulness: Passing Clouds - Dr Natalie Roberts

Guided Mindfulness: Leaves on a Stream

Introduction to Mindfulness

Mindful Breathing

Mindfulness for Emotions

Mindfulness Values Exercise

Mindfulness Body Scan

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https://www.familylives.org.uk

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Real Estate Insights: Market Trends, Investment & Lifestyle | Lucas Fox Blog

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Stay updated on Spain's property market with Lucas Fox. Explore investment opportunities, legal guidance, lifestyle trends, and the latest news shaping the real estate landscape.

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How to support a young person with anxiety

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How to support a young person with anxiety

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NHS Top Tips for Bladder & Bowel Control PDF

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NHS Top Tips for Bladder & Bowel Control PDF

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Evidence suggests there are 5 steps you can take to improve your mental health and wellbeing. Trying these things could help you feel more positive and able to get the most out of life.
1. Connect with other people

Good relationships are important for your mental wellbeing. They can:

help you to build a sense of belonging and self-worth

give you an opportunity to share positive experiences

provide emotional support and allow you to support others

There are lots of things you could try to help build stronger and closer relationships:

2. Be physically active

Being active is not only great for your physical health and fitness. Evidence also shows it can also improve your mental wellbeing by:

raising your self-esteem

helping you to set goals or challenges and achieve them

causing chemical changes in your brain which can help to positively change your mood

Read about exercise guidelines and workouts to help improve your fitness and wellbeing

3. Learn new skills

Research shows that learning new skills can also improve your mental wellbeing by:

boosting self-confidence and raising self-esteem

helping you to build a sense of purpose

helping you to connect with others

Even if you feel like you do not have enough time, or you may not need to learn new things, there are lots of different ways to bring learning into your life.

Some of the things you could try include:

4. Give to others

Research suggests that acts of giving and kindness can help improve your mental wellbeing by:

creating positive feelings and a sense of reward

giving you a feeling of purpose and self-worth

helping you connect with other people

It could be small acts of kindness towards other people, or larger ones like volunteering in your local community.

Some examples of the things you could try include:

saying thank you to someone for something they have done for you

asking friends, family or colleagues how they are and really listening to their answer

spending time with friends or relatives who need support or company

offering to help someone you know with DIY or a work project

volunteering in your community, such as helping at a school, hospital or care home

5. Pay attention to the present moment (mindfulness)

Paying more attention to the present moment can improve your mental wellbeing. This includes your thoughts and feelings, your body and the world around you.

Some people call this awareness "mindfulness". Mindfulness can help you enjoy life more and understand yourself better. It can positively change the way you feel about life and how you approach challenges.

Read more about mindfulness, including steps you can take to be more mindful in your everyday life.

Further information

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Read about 5 steps you can take to improve your mental health and wellbeing.

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Parents’ Toolkit: Supporting your wellbeing

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Support your health and wellbeing as a parent with these tips covering mental health, mindfulness and more...

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Whether you're an overwhelmed new parent or juggling work with entertaining a toddler we are here for you with this collection of advice for parental mental health and parent wellbeing.

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Parental mental health and parent wellbeing - BBC Tiny Happy People

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How can parents stay mentally healthy? Looking after your own mental health and focussing on your own self care is an important part of being a parent and carer. Check out our collection of articles and videos offering mental health and wellbeing tips, advice and support for parents.

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It can be easy to rush through life without stopping to notice much.
Paying more attention to the present moment - to your own thoughts and feelings, and to the world around you - can improve your mental wellbeing.

Some people call this awareness "mindfulness". Mindfulness can help us enjoy life more and understand ourselves better. You can take steps to develop it in your own life.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness involves paying attention to what is going on inside and outside ourselves, moment by moment.

It's easy to stop noticing the world around us. It's also easy to lose touch with the way our bodies are feeling and to end up living "in our heads" - caught up in our thoughts without stopping to notice how those thoughts are driving our emotions and behaviour.

An important part of mindfulness is reconnecting with our bodies and the sensations they experience. This means paying attention to the sights, sounds, smells and tastes of the present moment. That might be something as simple as the feel of a banister as we walk upstairs.

Another important part of mindfulness is an awareness of our thoughts and feelings as they happen moment to moment.

How mindfulness helps mental wellbeing

Becoming more aware of the present moment can help us enjoy the world around us more and understand ourselves better.

When we become more aware of the present moment, we begin to experience afresh things that we have been taking for granted.

Mindfulness also allows us to become more aware of the stream of thoughts and feelings that we experience, and to see how we can become entangled in that stream in ways that are not helpful.

This lets us stand back from our thoughts and start to see their patterns. Gradually, we can train ourselves to notice when our thoughts are taking over and realise that thoughts are simply "mental events" that do not have to control us.

Mindfulness can help us deal with issues more productively. We can ask: "Is trying to solve this by brooding about it helpful, or am I just getting caught up in my thoughts?"

Awareness of this kind may also help us notice signs of stress or anxiety earlier and deal with them better.

Mindfulness-based therapies are recommended by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) as a way to treat less severe depression.

NICE also recommends that employers make mindfulness available to all employees, to support mental wellbeing at work.

How to be more mindful

Reminding yourself to take notice of your thoughts, feelings, body sensations and the world around you is the first step to mindfulness.

Notice the everyday

As we go about our daily lives, we can notice the sensations of things, the food we eat, the air moving past the body as we walk.

Keep it regular

It can be helpful to pick a regular time, such as a morning journey to work or a walk at lunchtime, during which you decide to be aware of the sensations created by the world around you.

Try something new

Trying new things, such as sitting in a different seat in meetings or going somewhere new for lunch, can also help you notice the world in a new way.

Watch your thoughts

Some people find it very difficult to practise mindfulness. As soon as they stop what they're doing, lots of thoughts and worries crowd in.

It might be useful to remember that mindfulness isn't about making these thoughts go away, but rather about seeing them as mental events that come and go. This can be very hard at first, but with gentle persistence it is possible.

Some people find that it is easier to cope with an over-busy mind if they are doing gentle yoga or walking.

Name thoughts and feelings

To develop an awareness of thoughts and feelings, some people find it helpful to silently name them: "Here's the thought that I might fail that exam" or: "This is anxiety".

Free yourself from the past and future

You can practise mindfulness anywhere, but it can be especially helpful to take a mindful approach if you realise that, for several minutes, you have been trapped in reliving past problems or pre-living future worries.

Different mindfulness practices

As well as practising mindfulness in daily life, it can be helpful to set aside time for a more formal mindfulness practice.

Mindfulness meditation involves sitting silently and paying attention to thoughts, sounds, the sensations of breathing or parts of the body, bringing your attention back whenever the mind starts to wander.

Yoga and tai-chi can also help with developing awareness of your breathing.

Is mindfulness helpful for everyone?

Studies show that mindfulness can help with stress, anxiety and depression. More research is needed to show whether it helps with other mental health conditions.

Many people find mindfulness helpful, but it's not right for everyone. Some people find that it does not help them, or that it can make them feel worse.

More tips for wellbeing

There are other steps we can all take to improve our mental wellbeing. Learn more about the 5 steps to mental wellbeing.

You can also get your free Mind Plan on the Every Mind Matters website for personalised mental wellbeing tips and advice to your email inbox.

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Awareness of ourselves and the world around us - sometimes called mindfulness - can improve our mental wellbeing.

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What Kids Can Say To Deal With Tough Friendship Issues

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What Kids Can Say To Deal With Tough Friendship Issues

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Take a look at the downloads section on the home page where you will find free booklets with advice and support. We also have copies of these in school.

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Home page for Simon Says Child Bereavement Support charity showing support activities and ways you can support the charity.

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Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

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Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

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You can choose how to make arrangements for looking after your children if you separate from your partner.

You and your ex-partner can usually avoid going to court hearings if you agree on:

where the children will live

how much time they'll spend with each parent

how you'll financially support your children

You can use a solicitor if you want to make your agreement legally binding.

You can agree on child maintenance at the same time or separately.

Get help agreeing

You can make a Parenting Plan with your ex-partner or use a mediator.

You can also get help and information from:

If you cannot agree on everything

You can ask a court to decide anything you cannot agree after mediation or getting other help.

You must show you've attended a meeting to see if mediation is right for you before applying to a court. You will not have to in certain cases, for example if there's been domestic abuse or social services are involved.

You will not usually get legal aid to help with court costs unless you're separating from an abusive partner.

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Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

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If you want to know how to use this site, then you might find what you're looking for in our Frequently Asked Questions. If you still aren't sure, try contacting us with your query and we'll do our best to help.

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Young People | Family Information and Services Hub

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Skip to main content Family Information and Services Hub FAQs If you want to know how to use this site, then you might find what you're looking for in our Frequently Asked Questions. If you still aren't sure, try contacting us with your query and we'll do our best to help.

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ERIC - The Children's Bowel & Bladder Charity

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ERIC - The Children's Bowel & Bladder Charity

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With your help, we can keep offering free support to those who need us.

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Four back to school worries and how parents ease them - BBC Bitesize

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Dr Fiona Flinn and school counsellor and psychotherapist Rachel Vora have some advice on easing your child’s worries about the return to school.

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You must make sure your child gets a full-time education that meets their needs (for example if they have special educational needs). You can send your child to school or educate them yourself.

Children must get an education between the school term after their 5th birthday and the last Friday in June in the school year they turn 16.

You'll be contacted by either:

the school - if your child is enrolled in school and does not turn up (even if they're only absent for a day)

the council's education welfare officer - if they think your child is not getting a suitable education at home

You can be prosecuted if you do not give your child an education. You'll normally get warnings and offers of help from the local council first.

You can get education and attendance information from your council.

When your child can miss school

You can only allow your child to miss school if either:

they're too ill to go in

you've got advance permission from the school

Holidays in term time

You have to get permission from the head teacher if you want to take your child out of school during term time.

You can only do this if:

you make an application to the head teacher in advance (as a parent the child normally lives with)

there are exceptional circumstances

It's up to the head teacher how many days your child can be away from school if leave is granted.

You can be fined for taking your child on holiday during term time without the school's permission.

School trips

Your child's school can ask you for a voluntary contribution to the cost of activities like school trips. They cannot stop your child from attending if you do not pay, but they should cancel the activity if there is not enough money to cover the cost of it.

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You can be prosecuted if your child has unauthorised absence from school - truancy, help with getting your child to school, and legal action to enforce school attendance

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Samaritans works to make sure there's always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.

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https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/support-for-parents/pants-underwear-rule/

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Celebrating 10 years of Talk PANTS!

Pantosaurus has helped 1.5 million parents Talk PANTS and keep their children safe from sexual abuse.

Developed in consultation with children, parents, carers and teachers, Talk PANTS is here to help children understand their body belongs to them, and they should tell a safe adult they trust if anything makes them feel upset or worried.

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Our PANTS activity pack makes it easy to talk to your child about staying safe from harm. With a word search, dot-to-dot and maze game, you can help them learn without using any scary words.

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No Limits Advice Centre

No Limits Advice Centre

Given the continuing advice from the government for social distancing, we have made the difficult decision to close the Advice Centre to protect young people and our staff. This includes the DASH service and the Space 4 U service in Southampton and on the Isle of Wight.

Read more

We're still here if you need us

We're still here if you need us

We know this is a challenging time for many children and young people and we're still here to support you. You can call 02380 224224, email [email protected] or talk to a member of our team via our online web chat during our normal opening hours. Click here for the latest information on our services.

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Get Help

Get Help

No matter what's worrying you, we're here to help. All our staff are friendly and won't judge you or tell you what to do. We'll help you to make choices that are right for you.

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Tom's Story

Tom's Story

Tom was referred for counselling by his parents. He had a sister with disabilities and a recent diagnosis had a huge impact on the family. He was also very stressed with his school work. Counselling helped Tom lean some coping strategies and provide tools for managing stressful situations.

"The service was very kind and understanding. I felt I had support and someone to speak to and trust."

Find out more

About No Limits

No Limits is a charity offering free and confidential information, advice, counselling, advocacy and support to children and young people under the age of 26 in Southampton and Hampshire. Young people can come to No Limits for free support on a wide range of issues including housing, homelessness, debt, employment, relationships, sexual health, mental health and substance misuse. Support is offered at the No Limits Advice Centre in Central Southampton and through outreach work delivered in schools and colleges across Hampshire.

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We've helped

7,095

young people supported by No Limits this year

2,865

young people offered counselling

2,117

children and young people visited our Advice Centre

I've been coming here for over 2 years nearly and throughout all my issues with my partner No Limits has helped me so much, even through my prison sentence and now I'm finally sorting my life out they still don't hesitate to always help me. No Limits is 100% LEGEND

Nick

Latest News

We're still here if you need us

No Limits are still here to provide advice and support. If you are a child, young person or parent and you need support from a member of our team, you can phone 02380 224 224 or email [email protected]

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Given the continuing advice from the government for social distancing, we have made the difficult decision to close the Advice Centre to protect young people and our staff. This includes the DASH service and the Space 4 U service in Southampton and on the Isle of Wight.

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A selection of games and apps for children to help them develop strategies to manage their anxious feelings.

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Talking to Children About Friendship Problems

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Talking to Children About Friendship Problems

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Winston's Wish is the UK's childhood bereavement charity. We support children and their families after the death of someone important.

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On Thursday 30 November from 2:30am - 7:30am, you won't be able to contact Childline whilst we do some important maintenance to our systems. This means that 1-2-1 chats, calling and messages to Childline will be unavailable. You'll still be able to use the Childline website for advice and information.

If you're in danger or it's an emergency, you should always call 999

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Get help and advice about a wide range of issues, call us on 0800 1111, talk to a counsellor online, send Childline an email or post on the message boards.

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Helping your child with anger issues - NHS

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Helping your child with anger issues - NHS

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Anger is a normal and useful emotion. It can tell children when things are not fair or right.
But anger can become a problem if a child's angry behaviour becomes out of control or aggressive.

Why is your child so angry?

There are lots of reasons why your child may seem more angry than other children, including:

seeing other family members arguing or being angry with each other

friendship problems

being bullied - Anti-Bullying Alliance has information on bullying

struggling with schoolwork or exams

feeling very stressed, anxious or fearful about something

coping with hormone changes during puberty

It may not be obvious to you or your child why they're feeling angry. If that's the case, it's important to help them work out what might be causing their anger.

Read talking to your child about feelings.

Tackle anger together

Team up with your child to help them deal with their anger. This way, you let your child know that the anger is the problem, not them.

With younger children, this can be fun and creative. Give anger a name and try drawing it - for example, anger can be a volcano that eventually explodes.

How you respond to anger can influence how your child responds to anger. Making it something you tackle together can help you both.

Help your child spot the signs of anger

Being able to spot the signs of anger early can help your child make more positive decisions about how to handle it.

Talk about what your child feels when they start to get angry. For example, they may notice that:

their heart beats faster

their muscles tense

they clench their teeth

they make a fist

their stomach churns

Anger tips for your child

Work together to try to find out what triggers the anger. Talk about helpful strategies for managing anger.

You could encourage your child to:

count to 10

walk away from the situation

breathe slowly and deeply

clench and unclench their fists to ease tension

talk to a trusted person

go to a private place to calm down

If you see the early signs of anger in your child, say so. This gives them the chance to try their strategies.

Encourage regular active play and exercise

Staying active can be a way to reduce or stop feelings of anger. It can also be a way to improve feelings of stress, anxiety or depression.

For older children or young people, this could be simple activities, such as:

a short walk

jogging or running

cycling

Read more about physical activity for children and young people.

Be positive

Positive feedback is important. Praise your child's efforts and your own efforts, no matter how small.

This will build your child's confidence in their ability to manage their anger. It will also help them feel that you're both learning together.

When to get help for anger in children

If you're concerned your child's anger is harmful to them or people around them, you could talk to a:

If necessary, a GP may refer your child to a local children and young people's mental health services for specialist help.

CYPMHS is used as a term for all services that work with children and young people who have difficulties with their emotional or behavioural wellbeing.

You may also be able to refer your child yourself without seeing a GP.

Read more about where to get mental health support.

Further help and support for anger in children

For more support with anger in children, you could phone the YoungMinds parents' helpline free on 0808 802 5544 (9.30am to 4pm, Monday to Friday).

Other sources of help and support include:

If you have older children, find out more about talking to teenagers and coping with your teenager.
The Health for Teens website also has more about anger management

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Advice on how to help your child deal with anger in a positive way.

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A child can't be forced to see the non-resident parent but if there's a court order in place, the resident parent must follow the agreed arrangements.

It's really important that you ask your child and explore what's bothering them before you think about stopping contact with a parent or another family member.

Both parents should work towards helping the child feel safe and happy in their care. A child's feelings are important but contact should be encouraged as long as it does not place them at harm.

If a young person doesn't feel their voice is being heard, they can contact an advocacy service such as NYAS, which helps young people in England and Wales express their wishes.

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Divorce and separation can be hard, but it's important that your child gets the right support. Know your rights and get advice on helping your child.

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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https://www.barnardos.org.uk/what-we-do/services/hampshire-specialist-parenting-support-service

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Provides evidenced based parenting programmes for parents and carers who have children aged 5-17 who:
1. Have a diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC)
2. Have a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
3. Are experiencing mild-moderate conduct disorder
4. Have behaviour that challenges
5. Are teenagers displaying anti-social behaviour including child to parent violence

We offer the following programmes with wrap-around support:
Cygnet (for ASC) Core programme, with additional supporting siblings and puberty, sexual health and relationships modules
The Parent Factor for ADHD
Family Links The Nurture Programme
Teen Positive Parenting Programme
Talking Teens

Parents and carers can self enrol on to a parenting programme or can be referred by a health, education or early help professional.

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Provides evidenced based parenting programmes for parents and carers who have children aged 5-17 who: 1. Have a diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC) 2. Have a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) 3. Are experiencing mild-moderate conduct disorder 4. Have behaviour that challenges 5.

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It is free to text Shout from all major mobile networks in the UK.

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Donations doubled in the Big Give Christmas Challenge

Simply support Shout's Big Give campaign by midday on 5 December, and your donation will be doubled!

Can you help us hit our match funding target of £50,000 and support a further 5,000 people this winter?

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Ways to cope with upsetting events in the news

If you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious or sad about what's going on in the news, know that you're definitely not alone. Here are some actions we can take to help us cope better through times like this.

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I think Shout saved my life tonight... no one has ever made me feel so safe, listened to and understood

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Online resources and support

However you're feeling right now, you don't have to face it alone. We're here to support you with your mental health.

Take a look at our resources, information and support, find further help or reach out to one of our volunteers.

Resources for you

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Shout - UK's 24/7 Crisis Text Service for Mental Health Support

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Shout 85258 is the UK's first 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis. Get free, confidential mental health support anytime, anywhere. Text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

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https://www.bbuk.org.uk/children-young-people/

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Advice on Bladder and Bowel Problems in Children and Young People

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Children and young people Bladder and bowel health Issues affecting the bladder and bowel are very common in children and young people. Here you can find specialist advice to help. varied issues The problems can include difficulties with toilet training, wetting and/or soiling.

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From Monday 26th July , we will be open for drop ins between midday and 4pm Monday to Thursday each week. We will be closed Fri, Sat & Sundays.

Drop ins mean you can come in without an appointment and get one to one support, career advice or access to free contraception (condoms) and pregnancy tests. Appointments such as counselling sessions etc. will be available outside of the 12-4pm window during the holiday. We are running a combination of online and in person sessions for counselling and career support depending on each individual situation.

​

Using our Contact Us page

youthinromsey.yir@gmail.com

Or give us a call on: 01794 500581

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Summer youth activities in southern test valley...

"My counsellor is a great listener and has helped me look at certain aspects of my life in different ways and directions to help me overcome my personal problems."

Youth in Romsey is a support centre that offers a confidential advice, support and information service for young people from the ages of 6-25 years. We offer a variety of services including; counselling, careers advice, sexual health services, youth clubs and an open door to those who need our support.

Help us

provide the best

service to the

youth of Romsey and southern Test Valley

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Youth Services | Youth in Romsey | Romsey

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Youth in Romsey is a support centre that offers a confidential advice, support and information service for young people from the ages of 6-25 years. We offer a variety of services including; counselling, careers advice, sexual health services, youth clubs and much more.

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Important Phrases When Your Child Is Struggling

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Important Phrases When Your Child Is Struggling

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Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA)

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Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA)

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Parents Guide to School Anxiety & Refusal

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Parents Guide to School Anxiety & Refusal

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If your child is anxious about going to school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support them and work with their school.

Get advice and updates directly to your inbox

Join our fight for children and young people's mental health. Sign up to the YoungMinds mailing list to receive our monthly e-newsletter, campaign updates, information about events and fundraising and other opportunities to get involved in our work.

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Guide Menu for School anxiety and refusal

Guide contents (jump to section)

Real stories related to school anxiety and refusal

School can be a source of support, belonging, learning and community for young people. It can provide roles and responsibilities that make them feel good about themselves, the opportunity to think about their own opinions, access to sport, drama, art, trips and other new things, a sense of progress and achievement, life-long friendships, and supportive relationships with teachers and other adults.

However, every child and young person will worry about things that happen at school from time to time - and that's completely normal. For some young people, school can become challenging, stressful and distressing over a longer period of time.

If your child is struggling at school, the important thing is to recognise there's a problem to be solved, and to work with them and the school to find the right support as soon as you can.

Signs a young person is feeling worried about school

Young people can feel worried, anxious or unmotivated about school for lots of different reasons.

Some will be worried about something that's happening at school, while others may find school overwhelming because of difficulties in other parts of their life.

Every child and young person will worry about things that happen at school from time to time - and that's completely normal.

Young people tell us their worries about school can include:

finding the work difficult, or having problems concentrating

finding school exhausting, especially if they are dealing with mental health issues

feeling pressure to get good exam results

difficult relationships with friends and friendship groups

not feeling accepted or that they 'fit in'

not getting on with teachers

feeling pressured to be the same and learn like everyone else

experiencing or witnessing bullying

feeling unsupported and not seen as an individual

additional needs such as dyslexia not being recognised

feeling average or no good in a class of high-achieving peers

Young people may show they're feeling anxious about school by:

not wanting to get up and get ready

being reluctant to go to school

getting very worried about relatively small issues, such as remembering the right equipment for
a lesson

feeling sick or having stomach or headaches

not doing schoolwork, or getting lower marks

being angry or upset, or acting out

exploding when they get home, even if they seem okay at school

withdrawing - seeming low, quiet or depressed

refusing to go to school at all

not going to school without you knowing

Helping your child with school anxiety

Share our Beano videos with younger children

If you have a younger child who's feeling worried about starting at a new school, making friends or fitting in, we teamed up with our friends over at Beano studios to make a series of fun videos to help them.

Helping your child with school refusal

Ask the school to arrange a reduced timetable, with only a few lessons each week - with the aim of building back up when it feels manageable for your child.

Discuss the possibility of changing forms, sets or tutors if your child thinks this would help.

Request a home visit from the school, where a staff member can check-in, show your child the school cares about them and discuss strategies for moving forward.

Think about small, achievable targets your child can work towards.

What will happen if my child doesn't go to school?

If your child is regularly missing days of school, or not going at all, the school's first step will usually be to work with you to try to solve the problem.

Letting the school know what's going on as early as possible, sharing information, attending meetings and being open to trying new strategies will encourage them to take a supportive approach.

If the absence continues, the school may refer you to an Education Welfare Officer from the local council. This person will usually arrange a home visit to find out what's happening and work with you to try to resolve the problem.

If needed, the school and other professionals may also refer your child for other support, including for their mental health.

If your child cannot attend school for a period of time because they are not mentally well enough, it is likely that you will need to provide evidence from a GP or another professional.

If the school is pressuring you to get your child back to school and the communication doesn't feel constructive, a good first step is to re-emphasise to them why your child isn't attending - for example because they do not feel mentally well enough. It may also help to get advice and support from your Local Education Authority.

If the school or local council think your child is missing school without a good reason, you can face legal consequences such as fines.

Tips for working with your child's school

Depending on how difficult your child is finding things, you can discuss some of the following strategies with the school:

linking them with a member of staff, for example from the pastoral team, who they can chat to

linking them with a peer buddy or mentor

finding a way for them to feel more part of the school community, for example by joining a club

thinking of ways they can structure break-times if they are finding them difficult

offering them a new role or responsibility, such as library or book-corner monitor, or learning mentor

offering a flexible start-time or timetable

referring them for additional support such as counselling

What to do if you're unhappy with how things are being handled

If you are unhappy with the way a member of staff is responding to your concerns, escalate them to a more senior person - such as a more senior teacher, a deputy head, or the head teacher. If this doesn't work, you can contact the school governors (their contact details should be on the school's website), and lastly the Local Education Authority or the Academy Trust.

Finding professional help

A school counsellor or therapist can provide emotional support and help your child to express and make sense of their feelings. If this is offered by your child's school, you can talk to their teacher about making a referral.

If your child's school does not offer counselling, or your child would not feel comfortable seeing a counsellor at school, you can use our guide to help you access it elsewhere.

If you're worried about your child's mental health or wellbeing, speaking to your GP is often a good first step. They can discuss your concerns and, if needed, refer your child for more support - including to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

Your child's school can also refer your child to CAMHS. If you would like their support with a CAMHS referral, it might help to talk to the school nurse.

If you think your child may have additional needs or learning difficulties, speak to their teacher or the school's SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator) about whether they need to be referred for an assessment. They may then be able to access additional support through the school.

Children and young people under 25 who need more support than their school can provide are entitled to an Education, Health and Care (EHC) plan. EHC plans identify their needs and set out the support that will be provided. You, your GP and your child's school can ask your local authority to carry out an assessment for this. The process can take a long time, so it's often a good idea to try to get support through the school fist.

Your local authority's 'Local Offer' also outlines how parents of children with SEND can access information and local services. You can search for this on your local authority's website.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing CAMHS and finding local services on our guide to getting help.

Where to get further support

Useful helplines and websites

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School Anxiety & Refusal | Parents Guide To Support

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If your child is anxious about going to school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support them and work with their school. Get advice and updates directly to your inbox Join our fight for children and young people's mental health.

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What To Do After You Yelled At Your Child

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What To Do After You Yelled At Your Child

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Where to get urgent help for mental health - NHS

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Where to get urgent help for mental health - NHS

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you are not able to speak to your local NHS urgent mental health helpline

you need help urgently for your mental health, but it's not an emergency

you're not sure what to do

111 will tell you the right place to get help if you need to see someone.

You may be able to speak to a nurse, or mental health nurse, over the phone.

A GP can advise you about helpful treatments and also help you access mental health services. You may be able to refer yourself to some services.

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Where to get urgent help for mental health

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You may need urgent help for mental health for many different reasons. Some people call it a crisis, an emergency or a breakdown. It's important to know that support is available, whatever you're going through.

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Family Support (FISH) - Hampshire County Council

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Family Support (FISH) - Hampshire County Council

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Family Information and Services Hub

Here you will find a range of useful web links, downloadable resources, and online videos on various issues and topics that may be able to provide you with the support that you need, or answer questions that you may have.

If you are seriously concerned about a child you should contact this number without delay: Childrens Services 0300 555 1384 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm) - out of hours 0300 555 1373. If it's an emergency and a child is in immediate danger, call 999

To help you access support, talk to someone from any of the support services who is already in contact with your family. This might be a health visitor, teacher or a community worker. They will discuss your concerns and help you access the right support.

Our staff will be able to advise you on the most appropriate support dependent on the needs of your family.

Coronavirus Support
See Downloads on right of this page for Domestic Abuse support during Covid-19 pandemic
ORCHA assesses health apps for the NHS and they have launched a Covid-19 resource page where you can search for the best health and wellbeing apps available.

The Government has released helpful guidance on supporting children and young people's mental health and wellbeing during the coronavirus outbreak . This provides detailed information about how different ages may react to the current situation and different support available.

Last Updated: 18 August 2023

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Family Information and Services Hub | Family Support

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Here you will find a range of useful web links, downloadable resources, and online videos on various issues and topics that may be able to provide you with the support that you need, or answer questions that you may have. If you are seriously concerned...

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Parents Guide to Supporting your Child with Anger

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Parents Guide to Supporting your Child with Anger

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Anger is a normal and healthy reaction when things don't go the way we expected, life feels unfair or people upset or hurt us. It can be a helpful thing - letting us know that something is wrong or not okay with us.

It's normal for children and young people to find it difficult to manage their angry feelings sometimes, and it's helpful to remember that the part of our brain that helps us do this doesn't fully develop until we're in our mid-20s.

Anger can become a problem for your child if it feels overwhelming or unmanageable, makes them unhappy, affects their relationships or is expressed through unhelpful or destructive behaviours - towards either themselves or other people.

Angry feelings and aggressive behaviour can be really hard to deal with as a parent, and can have a huge effect on family life. If you're going through this, remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. There are things you can do to make the situation better, and places where you can find support if you need to. Here, we've got strategies you can use to help you respond and advice on when to seek further help and where to get it.

When I'm angry I feel a lot of self-hate and worthlessness. I also feel a build-up of energy.

What is anger like for young people?

If your child can't tell you in words, they will often use their behaviour to let you know how they're feeling. A young person who is feeling angry may:

be outwardly aggressive - acting aggressively towards other people, including shouting, hitting or breaking things

be inwardly aggressive - hurting themselves, for example by self-harming, or being very self-critical

be passively aggressive - withdrawing, ignoring people, being sarcastic or sulking

feel things in their body like a racing heart, feeling hot or tensing their muscles - for example clenching their fists

seem tense, unable to relax or easily irritated

find it difficult to concentrate.

When we seem angry or aggressive, there are often other feelings hidden under the surface.

Worried, Hurt, Scared, Lonely, Stressed, Overwhelmed, Ashamed, Ignored, Sad

Underneath these behaviours, a young person who seems very angry may also be feeling things like fear, stress, sadness, hurt or worry - or might be struggling to cope with a difficult experience at school, at home or in another part of their life that they feel unable to talk about.

It can be helpful to remember that a person who's feeling angry a lot of the time probably isn't feeling very happy - and while it might not be obvious, what they often need is support. Supporting children and young people to put their feelings into words can help them to feel less overwhelming, making it less likely that they will need to act out.

For some young people, feeling more irritable or angrier than usual can be a sign that they are struggling with low mood, depression or anxiety - especially if it goes on for a long period of time without changing.

How can I respond to my child when they get angry?

How can I help my child manage their anger?

In a calm moment, try to explore what's making them angry, focusing on letting them talk and listening to what it's like for them. Trust your instincts about picking the right moment, and remember that you know your child better than most people.

You can find more tips on our guide to starting a conversation with your child.

It might help to text, write a letter, go for a walk together or do an activity while you're talking to help them relax. You could also try spending five or ten minutes checking in with them each evening to encourage them to open up.

Recognising the triggers and patterns that alert them to the fact that they're getting angry can help them to take action before it becomes overwhelming. Keeping a diary or journal may make it easier for both of you to think this through - and apps such as ThinkNinja (for 10-18-year-olds) and HeadSpace can help them to track their feelings. This video by Braive might also help you to understand how stress and overwhelming feelings can build up in a person's life.

Some young people will find relaxing techniques useful. This could be things like:

meditating

listening to music

colouring or drawing

taking deep breaths or doing a breathing technique

Teenagers might like to do this using a mindfulness or meditation app such as Headspace or Calm. Often, people who are feeling angry breathe in more than they breathe out - so a good trick is to focus on breathing out for a few counts longer than they breath in, which can help their body to relax.

Some young people will find active techniques useful. This could be things like:

punching a pillow

throwing a ball

ripping or screwing up newspaper

playing sport

running or going for a walk

Young people tell us it helps to:

think of the bigger picture: will this bother me in a year?

try and say why you're angry, and remember that time alone to calm yourself down is okay.

take some time to think about how your actions are affecting others, and try to remember people are usually trying to help you.

apologise if you have harmed someone - and if you have hurt yourself, apologise to yourself.

figure out why you reacted like that so you can recognise it next time before it's too late.

tell someone if they've made you angry, or talk to someone else about it.

remind yourself that the emotion is valid.

Where can I find professional help?

It's a good idea to seek professional advice if:

your child's anger is consistently affecting their day-to-day life, wellbeing, mental health, relationships or experience at home or school - or the day-to-day life of your family.

you've tried strategies for at least four weeks and nothing seems to work, or their outbursts of anger feel unmanageable and last for a long time.

they are expressing their anger through destructive behaviours towards themselves or others - including self-harm or physically hurting other people.

There are different places where you can find help for your child. Your GP, your child's school and considering whether counselling or therapy might help are good places to start.

Your GP can discuss your concerns with you and, if needed, refer your child for more support - including Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

Sometimes, challenging or aggressive behaviour can be a sign of an additional need or developmental difficulty, such as autism or difficulties hearing or speaking, which your child may need specialist help with. If you think this could be the case, speak to your GP or your child's school to discuss whether they need a referral for an assessment.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing CAMHS, getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting help for your child.

If your child becomes so angry that they are being verbally or physically aggressive and you feel unsafe, it's important that you reach out for help.

In these situations:

If it is safe for you and your child, remove yourself and any other family members from the situation.

If it's not safe to do so, and you feel that you or anyone else are at immediate risk of harm, warn your child that if the aggression does not stop you will contact the police.

Follow through if they do not stop. Call 999 if there is a danger to life or violence is being used or threatened. Call 101 if you want to discuss the situation with your local police officer.

Calling the police to intervene in a situation that involves your child is an incredibly difficult thing for any parent to have to do. However, this may be the only course of action if your safety, or the safety of other family members, is in question. You might feel worried about getting your child into trouble, but they won't automatically get a criminal record and it's important to put your safety first. The police can be supportive about responding to mental health issues and may be able to advise you about next steps.

As a parent or carer, we often put our children first, no matter how old they are - but it's so important that you remember to look after yourself too. If you have ever flown on a plane you may remember the flight attendant saying that in times of difficulty you need to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others - and the same applies here.

If your child is acting out, remember that it can be because they see you as a safe person who they can express their feelings with, trusting that you will love them no matter what - and that it isn't necessarily about you.

Use the family and friends around you - whether it's for a catch-up or having someone to watch the kids so you can have a break.

These are some things that can help you take care of yourself:

You might also find helpful...

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Anger is a normal and healthy reaction when things don't go the way we expected, life feels unfair or people upset or hurt us. It can be a helpful thing - letting us know that something is wrong or not okay with us.

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Counselling - Family Information & Services Hub

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Counselling - Family Information & Services Hub

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Counselling is a type of ''talking therapy'' and sometimes the term is used to refer to talking therapies in general.

Counselling allows a person to talk openly in a safe and confidential environment. Counsellors are trained to listen and help people to deal with negative thoughts, feelings, challenges and problems.

Counsellors can help with a range of issues including anxiety, depression, bereavement, self-esteem, relationships and life changes.

For parents and carers, it can be an opportunity to talk through their feelings related to their child's diagnosis, concerns for the future or a time to discuss ways through challenging situations.

For young people, counselling can give them a safe time to talk through things that are worrying them, how they feel about their diagnosis or perhaps even help them to make sense of the challenges that they may face in their lives.

Families may find that counselling allows them space to think about possible solutions, resolutions or ways of working together when challenges arise.

Different types of counselling are often given different names and this can be a little confusing.

Counselling can work in a range of different ways so the therapist should work to find a method that suits the client and makes the sessions beneficial.

Some therapists are trained in more than one method, so might combine these during the sessions.

You may hear terms such as ''Cognitive Behavioural Therapies'' (CBT), ''Mindfulness'' and ''Life Coaching'' mentioned when talking about ways in which counsellors work - there is more information on these and other talking therapies here

A young person's school/college or your GP should be able to help you access counselling services in your local area or you might want to search for counsellors yourself.

Many GP surgeries provide talking therapies but if yours doesn't then the GP may refer you to a local service. This factsheet on mental health issues looks at the services that are available across Hampshire.

Additionally, your GP might refer a young person to the local CAMHS service if they offer counselling, and might put carers in touch with a local carers' organisation if there is one. It is also possible to self-refer to CAMHS if you felt that your son/daughter may benefit from their support.

Some schools have therapists working alongside the teaching staff and often sessions take place in familiar surroundings, making some young people feel more at ease.

For some young people technology can provide an alternative way of accessing counselling/ therapy as they may find it easier to talk to someone on a website or through an app.

Before using any online service it is important that parents/ carers are able to check out the site and the qualifications of the counsellors.

Young Minds have a dedicated area, on their website, for young people. There is a lot of information about feelings and emotions as well as the chance to read about other people's journeys.

The Mix aims to take on the embarrassing problems, weird questions, and please-don't-make-me-say-it-out-loud thoughts that people under 25 have in order to give them the best support through digital and phone services.

The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BCAP) has an excellent website that provides lots of information on types of therapy, how to access support and what happens at a therapy session.

The first counselling session will probably focus on finding out what you want to work through, what you would like to achieve from the sessions and the way that the therapist works. The therapist might suggest different methods that may be helpful.

You will be given time to ask questions.

Counselling sessions are built upon a relationship of trust between the client and counsellor. They are not there to judge the young person/carer or their family but simply to help them work through their concerns and create a plan for moving forward.

It is important that the client feels comfortable with the counsellor as this will allow the sessions to be as successful as possible.

The following websites can help with finding therapists in your local area:

Counselling Directory was set up by a team who know how difficult it can be to find support. Through their own experiences of mental health issues, they have learnt how important having relevant information is and how the right support can help transform lives. Their team is passionate about counselling and we want to promote the huge benefits talk therapy can have. Their website is a confidential service that encourages those in need to seek help and to connect individuals with qualified counsellors in the UK. The site contains information on the common reasons people turn to counselling, as well as articles, news, and events.

The Hampshire Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (HACP) aims to put people and Counsellors / Psychotherapists in touch with each other.

There are a number of helpful links on the right of this page, which includes organisations that mightbe helpful for you:

Young Minds is the UK's leading charity committed to improving the emotional wellbeing and mental health of children and young people.

Relate - the UK's largest provider of relationship support

Youth Access - YIACS provide a holistic response to young people's social, emotional and mental health needs through a range of services provided 'under one roof', including social welfare advice, advocacy, counselling, health clinics, community education and personal support.

Off the Record - a free, confidential and friendly service, offering information, support and counselling for young people in South Hampshire.

CAMHS - Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service Hampshire

italk is a FREE service for people suffering from depression and anxiety

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Counselling | Family Information and Services Hub

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Some young people with additional needs and/or their families find that speaking to someone about their concerns or how they are feeling can be extremely helpful. Trained counsellors can help people to talk about their experiences and hopefully start to make sense of them. They can also help to find…

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If you're worried about how your relationship break-up might affect your child, here is our advice on how you can support them through the process.

Guide Menu for Divorce and separation

Guide contents (jump to section)

How can I help my child?

Every child and young person's experience with the loss of their known family unit will be unique, but it can sometimes cause intense emotional distress.

In the immediate aftermath of a break-up, children's early responses can involve a number of defence behaviours, including: denial, disbelief, dissociation, hyperactivity, irritability and protest, alarm and panic. Over time, children may experience grief and display behaviours and emotions that indicate yearning and pining, sadness and depression, anger and hostility, anxiety, guilt, shame and despair. Even if children feel relieved at a family break-up where violence is a significant factor, most children will still feel some loss and grief.

There are things you can do to improve the way your child copes with the changes going on around them.

Things that may really make a difference:

Download our full Parents Helpline guide to divorce and separation

For more information and advice, you can download our full Parents Helpline guide to divorce and separation. The guide includes:

information about how children of different age groups may react to - and cope with - their parents divorcing or separating

advice on how you can support your child through a parental break-up

a list of helplines and services you can use

Parental alienation and emotional abuse

A parent who turns their child against their other parent by bad-mouthing, belittling the other adult, limiting contact between them, forbidding discussion about them, creating the impression the parent does not love the child or forcing the child to reject the parent is becoming increasingly common and can do significant damage to children's mental health.

The Chief Executive of the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS), Anthony Douglas, recommended in February 2017 that parents who use this type of 'alienation' should be considered guilty of neglect or emotional abuse.

You may also find helpful...

Where to get help

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Divorce & Young People's Mental Health | Parent Guide

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If you're worried about how your relationship break-up might affect your child, here is our advice on how you can support them through the process. Guide Menu for Divorce and separation Guide contents (jump to section) How can I help my child?

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You can contact the school nursing team directly by email or telephone. They offer a wealth of health related support.

eastleighschoolnurseteam@southernhealth.nhs.uk

Telephone: 02380475844

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About the service

Hampshire Healthy Families was launched in 2020 as a partnership between the Trust and Barnardos. The service is commissioned to support families, parents and carers of children aged from 0-19 years old and to deliver the Healthy Child Programme across Hampshire. This is done by providing access to Health Visitors and School Nurses as well as other services and regular courses to help support child development.

What we do

The Trust's Children and Family Services are split into specialist teams that focus on everything from vaccinations to healthy living advice. Take a look below for more information.

Health Visiting

Health visitors are all nurses or midwives who have completed additional training in public health, which includes child development. Health visitors lead the delivery of the Healthy Child Programme. This national programme consists of a series of developmental reviews, screening tests, vaccinations and information to support parents. Click here to find your local health visiting service.

You can also get support and advice from a Health Visitor by texting our ChatHealth service below.

School Age Immunisations

The School-Age Immunisation Service offers vaccinations to children (aged 4-16) across all Hampshire schools and children who are home educated. The team also work closely with teachers, school nurses and other health professionals to ensure young people receive their vaccinations at the right time. Visit the School Age Immunisations website for more information.

School Nursing

The School Nursing service works in partnership with children, young people and their families to ensure that pupil's health needs are supported within their school and their community. This includes those attending a school within Hampshire and those that are home educated (except Southampton and Portsmouth city schools).

Parents and young people can also get support and advice by texting our ChatHealth service below.

Family Nurse Partnership (FNP)

The Family Nurse Partnership (FNP) is a voluntary programme usually offered to first time young parents aged 19 or under.

We know from research that a healthy pregnancy gives babies the best possible start in life. The relationship parents have with their babies right from the start is crucial for their future health and happiness.

Our family nurses' will provide you with information and support you to make decisions which:

Increase your chances of a healthy pregnancy

Help manage labour

Improve your child's development

Build a positive relationship with your baby and others

Help you plan for the future

Enable you to make lifestyle choices that will give your child the best possible start in life

Enable you to achieve your aspirations (such as finding a job or returning to education)

Research also shows that parents who take part in this programme are more likely to achieve what they want for themselves and their children.
What's involved?
Your family nurse will visit you every one or two weeks from the start of pregnancy until your child is at least one year. Home visits usually last about an hour.

You will share different ideas at each visit with your family nurse and decide together what topics to talk about. Your family nurse will help you develop new skills and make plans for a healthy, happy future for you and your baby.
Contact the Family Nurse Partnership
Email: fnpshft@southernhealth.nhs.uk

Tel: 0300 003 0338

Child Health Information Services (CHIS)

CHIS are responsible for all child health information records for children across Hampshire. The team also help to deliver information to parents around the time their child needs to be vaccinated.

You can find out more about the age they are given and the vaccinations required on the Child Health Information Service website.

ChatHealth 0-5

ChatHealth 0-5
ChatHealth 0-5 is a text messaging service set up to support parents, carers and families of under 5's in Hampshire.

The service is run by local health visitors who have a wealth of experience of working with mums and dads-to-be, babies, toddlers and young children.

The Health Visiting Team are able to support with questions from parents, carers and families relating to a wide range of health and wellbeing issues including crying babies, infant feeding, starting baby on solid foods, sleep and behaviour problems. As well as giving advice, the team can signpost to appropriate services and other support.

How to use it: Text the dedicated number 07520 615720.

Chathealth 11-19

Chathealth 11-19
The ChatHealth text service is an easy way for young people 11-19 to confidentially ask for help with a range of issues. The service is manned by qualified school nurses who have a wealth of experience of working with young people.

ChatHealth allows young people in Hampshire to text messages to a dedicated number 07507 332160; the messages are then delivered to a secure website. Once received, the school nurse will respond to the text within one working day.

ChatHealth is available Monday to Friday from 9am-4.30pm (excluding bank holidays). Any young person who texts the service outside of these hours will receive an automated message with advice of where to get help if their question is urgent.

The School Nursing Team are able to support young people with questions relating to a wide range of health and wellbeing issues including self-harm, relationships, bullying, weight, anxiety, drugs, smoking, stress, body worries, alcohol and sexual health. As well as giving advice, the team can signpost to appropriate services and other support.

Young people are still able to request to see a School Nurse face to face in school or a community setting.

How to use the service: Text the dedicated number 07507 332160

ChatHealth for parents of children and young people in Hampshire aged 5-19.

ChatHealth offers a simple, convenient & confidential text messaging service for parents of children and young people in Hampshire aged 5-19.

The ChatHealth advisor team is made up of school nurses working within Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust. These nurses all have extensive experience of working with and supporting parents of children and young people.

ChatHealth allows parents in Hampshire to text messages to a dedicated number 07507 332417; the messages are then delivered to a secure website. Once received, the school nurse will respond to the text within one working day.

ChatHealth is available 9 am - 4.30 pm on Monday to Thursday and 9 am - 4 pm on Fridays (excluding bank holidays). Any parent who texts the service outside of these hours will receive an automated message with advice of where to get help if their question is urgent.

The Team are able to can support parents with questions relating to a wide range of health and wellbeing issues including healthy lifestyles, toileting, behaviour, sleep, emotional wellbeing and health conditions. As well as giving advice, the team can signpost to appropriate services and other support.

Parents are still able to request to see a School Nurse face to face in school or receive support via a telephone call (with exception of private schools).

Children in Care

The Children in Care service works in close partnership with children, young people, their carers and local authorities to ensure that children and young people's health needs are supported whilst they remain in care and as care leavers.

If you live in care and away from home, you may want to speak confidentially to someone about your worries. The Children in Care Team can listen and help you to get further help and support.

What does the service provide?

Health assessments

Health advice and information for Children in Care

Support for children in care to attend health appointments

The team can also arranage for referals into other services such as; Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS), Sexual health clinics, GP services and stop smoking services .

If you would like to speak to the Children in Care team, please call them on 02382 310475 or email admin-childrenincare@southernhealth.nhs.uk.

If you would like to read more about our integrated health and wellbeing service at Swanwick Lodge Children's Home in Southampton, click here.

How to find us

Children's Management Office, Tom Rudd Unit, Moorgreen Hospital, Botley Road, West End, Southampton, Hants, SO30 3JB

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Hampshire Healthy Families was launched in 2020 as a partnership between the Trust and Barnardos. The service is commissioned to support families, parents and carers of children aged from 0-19 years old and to deliver the Healthy Child Programme across Hampshire.

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Hampshire Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) are an NHS service that aims to help young people up to the age of 18 who are finding it…

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The Invisible String is a lovely story which offers reassurance to children who may be dealing with loss, loneliness or separation from a loved one. 

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-PARENTS MAGAZINE

" The Invisible String by Patrice Karst is a heartwarming story that reassures children that even though they can't always be with a loved one, they're always in each other's hearts."

-TONY ROBBINS

THE INVISIBLE STRING book is "a beautiful way to begin to try, as parents, to instill in children the impenetrable power of the heart, the energy of love, and the flow that can be felt from the grace in every moment."

―United Way (Life Lessons for Little Ones)

"If I could only have one book to use for counseling purposes, this would be it. This book is extremely versatile. It can be used for any type of separation, loss."

―The American Academy of Pediatrics

"Delivers a particularly compelling message in today's uncertain times that though we may be separated from the ones we care for, love is the unending connection that binds us all."

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The Invisible String Book - Patrice Karst | Loneliness | Loss

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Skip to content -PARENTS MAGAZINE " The Invisible String by Patrice Karst is a heartwarming story that reassures children that even though they can't always be with a loved one, they're always in each other's hearts."

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https://www.safe4me.co.uk/support-services/

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Support services provided by Hampshire County Council, including those in partnership

Hampshire County Council provide a range of support services and information directories for children and young people, families and professionals, click the relevant link to access full information from the HCC website.

Community Safety Partnerships (CSPs): Links to CSP localities, partner agencies and hate crime reporting.

Family Information and Services Hub: information and details on how to access services, organisations and activities in Hampshire, plus advice and support available on a range of needs.

Parent and Family Support: Directory of support, advice and services for parents, carers and other family members

SEND Local Offer: Local support, events and services for children and young people aged 0-25 with special educational needs and/or a disability (SEND), including for parents/carers and professionals

Support for Young People: Services and information to support young people with education, training, caring for others, relationships and health.

Youth Directory: Part of the family information and services hub, this directory provides access to a full list of all services across the county for children and young people, including those in care.

Organisations and specialist services providing support to children, young people, families and professionals in Hampshire

Charity dedicated to ending violence against women and children by offering safety, support, advocacy, and empowerment to survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking. Through a variety of tailored services, in a non-judgmental environment, it ensures all victims and survivors of abuse and violence have access to specialist support. Services include Domestic Violence and Abuse, Sexual Violence, Stalker, Female Offenders, Armed Forces and IRIS, a DVA prevention scheme aimed at professionals. Click here for more details of each service.

Click here for full contact details for all individual services

Barnardos

Deliver local services to children and young people in Portsmouth, Isle of Wight, Hampshire and Southampton. Its specialist 4-U services* (u-turn, miss-u, with-u, for-u) provide quality, independent and confidential services to children and young people. for the 4-U services information leaflet.

U-Turn: Information and support to children and young people up to age 18 who is at risk of, or experiencing, Child Exploitation of any form. Available in all 4 LSCB areas. Online Referral (professionals): www.barnardos.org.uk/what-we-do/services/barnardos-4u-services-u-turn-child-exploitation

*Miss-U, With-U and For-U services currently only available in Portsmouth and IOW

Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service: Programmes for parents/carers of children aged 5-17 with Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), conduct disorder, challenging behaviour or displaying anti-social behaviour including child to parent violence. Parents/carers can self-enroll or be referred by a health, education or early help professional.

Breakout Youth (LGBTQ+)

Hampshire and Isle of Wight local LGBTQ+ Support Charity offering a confidential support service for young people aged 11 to 21, who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning or unsure of their sexuality or gender identity. The service is based in Southampton, Romsey, Basingstoke, Andover, New Forest and the Isle of Wight.

Catch-22 (Substance Misuse Support)

Hampshire 24/7 specialist treatment service provides targeted family support for children and young people U25 effected by substance misuse. Free and confidential support is tailored to include 1-2-1 and group work (including in education settings), a 24-hour help line, pharmacological support and needle exchange. Young people can self-refer or via a professional, family member or friend.

Hampshire Youth Access Counselling & Support Services (HYA)

Partnership of 11 leading agencies providing counselling, information, advice and support to children and young people aged 5 to 17 across Hampshire, and support to anyone concerned about a child or young person's emotional well-being. HYA also provides a free resource library with downloadable packs and information for parents, young people and professionals.

The 11 organisations forming the HYA partnership provide the services listed below, click the relevant locality link for more details.

HYA Referral Form for Professionals, Parents and Young People can be completed to refer 5-17 year olds to the service.

Hate Crime: Third Party Reporting Centres (TPRCs)

Provides a 24/7 alternative option to reporting hate crime other than to police. More information and location of reporting centres can be found on the Hampshire and Isle of Wight Police and Crime Commissioner's website: www.hampshire-pcc.gov.uk/get-involved/taking-action/hatecrime/third-party-reporting-centres

Hampshire Domestic Abuse Service

Provided by Stop Domestic Abuse (formerly SDAS)andThe Hampton Trust to help, and offer access to support services, for victims and survivors of abuse, children living with domestic abuse, perpetrators and professionals seeking advice.

Inclusion Recovery Hampshire

Supporting those affected by drugs and alcohol in Hampshire and IOW (exc. Southampton & Portsmouth) to provide the best care possible for all age groups who are using drugs/and or alcohol, or affected by problems associated to them. Services are delivered at 9 main hubs located in Aldershot, Andover, Basingstoke, Eastleigh, Fareham, Gosport, Havant, New Forest and Winchester.

Let's Talk About It (Sexual Health Service)

Solent NHS Trust Sexual Health service provides Contraceptive & Sexual Health (C&SH) and Genito-Urinary Medicine (GUM) services across Hampshire, providing confidential and non-judgemental specialist support for:

anyone at risk of Sexual Exploitation (ROSE clinic)

anyone with a Learning Disability (SHIELD clinic)

anyone involved in commercial sex work (TULIP clinic)

for men who have sex with men (Clinic Xtra)

Online service includes ordering free testing kits, local clinic locator, online booking and referral information for professionals.

MIND (Helpline)

Havant & East Hants MIND provide a freephone mental health crisis helpline for children and young people across Hampshire and the Isle of Wight, giving immediate access to safe and confidential support for 11-17 year olds experiencing difficulty with their mental health. Support includes listening to needs/concerns, supporting specific issues such as anxiety, self-harm and low mood also offering advice on mindfulness techniques and emotional coping skills

HEH Mind Main Office (Havant)

Motiv8

Creating safer communities for young people and their families by providing safe spaces to develop skills, tools and resilience to overcome challenges - aiming to give young people better life chances, reduce offending, anti-social behaviour and disengagement with learning. Services available in Portsmouth, Havant, Gosport and Fareham areas.

Havant Office: 023 9247 0484

Gosport & Fareham Office: 023 9252 5026

Web: motiv8.org.uk/

Bicycle Recycling: social enterprise initiative providing, jobs, training to improve life chance for young people. Centres in Gosport and Portsmouth

No limits

No Limits offers free and confidential information, advice, counselling, support and advocacy for children and young people under the age of 26 who live in Southampton and Hampshire. Services available include support for drug and alcohol issues; homelessness; sex & relationships; education, work and training; money and debt, and also includes advice for parents.

Relate Children & Young People's Counselling

Confidential support for children and young people aged 8-18 to talk to trained counsellors about relationship problems at home, at school, with peers or about anything else troubling them. Relate also offer family counselling for parents to help their child cope with changes or a difficult situation.

Counselling also available by phone or webcam, more information about these services is available on the Talk to Someone webpage, or contact the local Relate office from the list below for more details about specific services offered.

Simon Says

Specialist support service for children and young people U18 in Hampshire who have a significant person in their life who has died or is dying. The charity also provides support to schools and colleges in Hampshire, Portsmouth and Southampton.

Solent Mind

Provide a range of projects and services across Hampshire and the Isle of Wight which aim to prevent mental health issues through developing skills and knowledge, and to offer direct support to children, young people and families affected by a mental health problem. Main contact details for Solent Mind, and details of youth service projects local to Hampshire are listed below.

Advocacy Service changes to VoiceAbility: From 1 April 2020 the Hampshire and Southampton advocacy service transferred to VoiceAbility, contact details below:

Heads Up: Mental health project run in local schools, colleges and universities in Southampton and New Forest, informing and educating young people through assemblies and workshops to equip them with coping strategies to manage their own well-being. Also provide support for parents and staff. Click the relevant link to access the information leaflet: young people or education professionals.

Upturn: Mental health project based in Fareham and Gosport, working with young people age 8+ and their families to provide support and education, through classroom-based workshops, small groups or one to one sessions. Young people can self-refer, refer through school or CAMHS. Click here for the Upturn info leaflet.

Youth Affinity: a partnership with the Prince's Trust and No Limits to support young people aged 16-25 in Hampshire to achieve good well-being and overcome barriers that might affect mental health. Contact the team for more information about locations and referrals.

Wellbeing & Talking Therapies for Young People: Well-being centres across Hampshire organise groups and activities for young people. For up to date information, contact local well-being centres directly from the details on the webpage:

Web: www.solentmind.org.uk/our-services/wellbeing-services/

Solent Mind supports italk: A free talking therapy service for those aged 16+ offering face to face, over the phone or online support in Hampshire, through GP or self-referral. More information available at www.italk.org.uk.

Stop Domestic Abuse (formerly SDAS)

Local provider of specialist services for all those affected by domestic abuse, including families, perpetrators, police, schools and local organisations. An online support page for professionals provides referral information, links to forms and downloadable resources/posters.

Up2U is a free service for anyone over 16 who recognises that they use abusive behaviours in their relationships and want to change. for the Up2U info leaflet. Further details about this service can be found on the professionals page.

Head office (Havant)

Hampshire Service: Referrals (exc. Portsmouth & Southampton)

The Hampton Trust

Deliver domestic violence prevention programmes to perpetrators and those affected by domestic violence, including a range of services for young people aged 7 - 24.

Young Adults Relationships Programme: specialist domestic abuse service for 16-24 year olds living in Hampshire or Southampton, helping them avoid using abusive behaviours. Self-referral or client referral options.

Linx: support for young people struggling with things in life which impact on their feelings and behaviour relating to Adverse Childhood Experiences, helping them achieve goals and make positive changes.

Turnaround: group programme addressing issues faced by children aged 7-11 who have experienced distress caused by domestic abuse in their home.

THT also provide services for adults, referral pathways and professionals training, contact them for more information about programmes, referral criteria and service locations.

Treetops Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC)

Provides non-judgmental medical care, practical help, emotional and psychological support to anyone who has been raped or sexually assaulted, recent or historical. Service can be accessed with or without reporting to police. Treetops also provides information for family and friends of victims, and specialist support for parents/carers of U18s who have been raped or sexually assaulted.

Other sexual assault/abuse services across Hampshire

Basingstoke Rape and Sexual Abuse Crisis Centre (BRASACC)

Provides free confidential support and counselling for anyone who has been raped, sexually abused or sexually assaulted at any time in their lives, including ISVA support for anyone age 16+. BRASACC also provides support to parents, partners, families, friends, and workers from other agencies.
Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre Winchester (RASAC)
Provides a free, confidential listening and support service (not medical) for all genders and ages who have been raped and/or sexually abused at any time in their lives and who are suffering sexual trauma as a consequence of their unwanted experiences.

Now provides help service for under-18s in Winchester, Test Valley and North Hampshire.

Call: 01962 807037 (office 09:30-3:30pm Mon-Fri)

Call: 01962 868 688 or 01962 864 433 (Advice & Support Line)

Text (SMS): 07860 027793

Email & Referrals: rasac.org.uk/contact/

Web: www.rasac.org.uk

Main office is in Winchester, additional counselling services available at The Bridge, Andover.

Victim Care Service

Provides free, confidential support for victims of crime aged 4+ who live anywhere in Hampshire and the Isle of Wight. VCS aim to help people cope and recover from the effects of crime, even if not reported to the police. Funded by the Police and Crime Commissioner for Hampshire and the Isle of Wight, VCS is delivered by Victim Support.

Yellow Door

Provide a wide range of free specialist therapeutic, outreach, supportive and preventative services around the issues of sexual abuse and violence for adults and young people across Southampton and West Hampshire. More information about specific services and eligibility areas can be accessed via the following web links:
Main Office Domestic Abuse Team (DAT)
Diversity & Inclusion Advocacy (DIA)

Independent Sexual Violence Advisors (ISVA service)
STAR Project Therapies & Family Services
YMCA

Deliver a range of services for children and families at venues across Hampshire and Isle of Wight which include youth clubs and groups, nursery/pre-school care, parent groups, holiday clubs, residential camps, training, venue hire and housing.

Hampshire Youth Services: Weekly youth clubs and groups for 8-14 year olds currently run in Andover, includes sessions for those with additional needs, offering a range of indoor and outdoor activities. Contact the YMCA centre for more information.

YMCA Housing Basingstoke: Provides safe, secure and comfortable supported housing for young people age 18-30 in Basingstoke. For more information and application pathways contact the local YMCA Housing Team.

For a full details of all Hampshire YMCA services, click the relevant locality area link:

Y Services

Supporting communities and organisations to develop high quality youth work projects which meet the needs of young people in the local area. Services include outreach and youth work sessions for young people age 11-19, voluntary opportunities for young people, and dedicated support for LGBT+. Services available across Havant, Hayling Island, Fareham, Gosport, Winchester and Portsmouth.

Specialist support in Hampshire for stalking, domestic abuse and sexual violence, delivering holistic services that reduce harm and increase safety for all victims and survivors of domestic abuse - women, men and children.

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Hampshire County Council provide a range of support services and information directories for children and young people, families and professionals, click the relevant link to access full information from the HCC website. Community Safety Partnerships (CSPs): Links to CSP localities, partner agencies and hate crime reporting.

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Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families

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Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families

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We work with professionals to improve the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people. Learn about our training, services, research and more.

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3 Ways To Help Children Navigate Friendship Challenges

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3 Ways To Help Children Navigate Friendship Challenges

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Written for children with ASD but a wonderfully accessible book for all children with lovely visuals that children seem to really understand.

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Deep inside everyone, a red beast lies sleeping.

When it is asleep, the red beast is quite small, but when it wakes up, it begins to grow and grow.

This is the story of a red beast that was awakened.

Rufus is in the school playground when his friend John kicks a ball that hit him in the stomach, and wakes up the sleeping red beast: `I hate you - I'm gonna get you!'. The red beast doesn't hear the teacher asking if he's okay. It doesn't see that John is sorry - how can Rufus tame the red beast?

This vibrant fully illustrated children's storybook is written for children aged 5-9, and is an accessible, fun way to talk about anger, with useful tips about how to 'tame the red beast' and guidance for parents on how anger affects children with Asperger's Syndrome.

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The Red Beast: Controlling Anger in Children with Asperger's Syndrome (K.I. Al-Ghani children's colour story books)

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Amazon.com: The Red Beast: Controlling Anger in Children with Asperger's Syndrome (K.I. Al-Ghani children's colour story books) eBook : Al-Ghani, K.I, Al-Ghani, Haitham: Kindle Store

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https://karmanirvana.org.uk/

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Our goal is to end Honour Based Abuse in the UK. We run a national helpline, offer training to professionals, gather data to inform policies and services, and campaign for change.

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Hampshire Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and/ or Disabilities

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Hampshire Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and/ or Disabilities

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Family Information and Services Hub

Breadcrumb trail

1. Home

2. Hampshire's Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and / or Disabilities

Browse by subject

Latest News

1. Over 90% of families in Hampshire organise their own journeys to school. They walk, cycle, use public transport, lift-share with other families or take their child to school in the family car. Have a look at Hampshire County Council's Travel to school page for ideas and information. For a minority...

2. 100% of school leaders believe that food and diet can affect cognitive function and children's learning progress, according to the latest survey results from HC3S, Hampshire's main school lunch provider. 90% of schools value HC3S as a partner in supporting nutrition at school, so find out more about how HC3S...

3. We would like to hear from young people in Hampshire about what you would like to see on this website. What information would be helpful for you that's not on here? What do you like about this website? What do you not like about this website? Any feedback...

1. Move to slide number 1

2. Move to slide number 2

3. Move to slide number 3

Last Updated: 23 June 2023

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Family Information and Services Hub | Hampshire's Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and / or Disabilities

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Your Local Offer - Information and services available in Hampshire for children and young people (birth to 25) who have Special Educational Needs and/or Disabilities (SEND) The Local Offer includes information about education, health, social care, preparation for adulthood, leisure services and impartial information advice and support....

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Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust and Barnardos are working together to deliver the Healthy Child Programme throughout Hampshire. This website provides details for access to health visiting and school nursing services, workshops for healthy eating and support with post-natal depression.

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Book suggestion - Badger's Parting Gifts

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Book suggestion - Badger's Parting Gifts

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Badger's Parting Gifts: 35th Anniversary Edition of a picture book to help children deal with death

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Badger's Parting Gifts: 35th Anniversary Edition of a picture book to help children deal with death: Amazon.co.uk: Varley, Susan: Books

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Supporting Children Through Divorce or Separation - Video

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Supporting Children Through Divorce or Separation - Video

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Supporting children through divorce or parental separation | YoungMinds Parents Lounge

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Relate - Children & Young People's Counselling

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Relate - Children & Young People's Counselling

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You may be dealing with:

Bullying

Parents splitting up

Problems at home

Arguments with friends

Feeling isolated

Stress at school

Feeling low

Someone close to you becoming ill or dying

Worries about your relationships.

If you're finding it all too much or are just not feeling like yourself, we're here to help.

Parents and guardians

Are you a parent or guardian who wants to help your child handle changes or a difficult situation in your family? Family Counselling can help you to talk through what's happening and resolve your differences.

What is Children and Young People's Counselling?

You can talk to us about whatever is on your mind. It's confidential and and our counsellors are trained to deal with any problems you may be facing.

Hear from Jack, in the video below, about how counselling helped him deal with his parents' separation.

What kind of problems can you help with?

There are many different issues you might want to talk to someone about.

We've helped other children and young people with the following issues:

"I'm feeling stressed and can't cope with schoolwork"

"My parents are always fighting and I don't know what to do"

"I can't seem to make friends"

"I'm being bullied and I'm worried about telling someone"

"My mum and dad are splitting up and it feels like my fault"

"Someone close to me is dying and I can't cope"

"Nobody understands me and I feel like I have depression"

Having someone to talk you who isn't a part of your school or home life may help you to see your problems from a new perspective.

How much does counselling cost?

Childrens' and Young persons' counselling is £40 a session, unless you are eligible for funded sessions.

Please discuss this when you phone in to arrange the sessions.

How does counselling work?

Your first session can be arranged via zoom or phone and you might find that a friendly chat is all you need.

Counselling will be a chance to talk about whatever you're worried about. Our counsellors won't judge you or tell you what to think or do.

If you have any questions about counselling take a look at our FAQs.

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You may be dealing with: Bullying Parents splitting up Problems at home Arguments with friends Feeling isolated Stress at school Feeling low Someone close to you becoming ill or dying Worries about your relationships. If you're finding it all too much or are just not feeling like yourself, we're here to help.

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https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/

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What is Bullying and Harassment?

Bullying and Harassment can be defined in many different ways and can be described as unwanted conduct of behaviour designed to cause harm or distress to another person. It can be characterized as offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, an abuse or misuse of power through means intended to undermine, humiliate, denigrate or injure the recipient. Bullying can be related to age, sex, race, disability, religion, sexual orientation, nationality or any personal characteristic of the individual, and maybe persistent or an isolated incident. The key is that the actions or comments are viewed as demeaning and unacceptable to the recipient.

Bullying falls under four main categories, psychological, Verbal, Physical and Cyberbullying and its effects can have far-reaching consequences. Bullying can have an impact on anyone, children and adults in school or at work. It can seriously affect someone's physical and mental health. Sustained bullying can cause stress, emotional issues, social problems, physical disorders and in some serious cases, self-harm or even death.

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Information and advice about all forms of bullying

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Bullying - Help and advice for adults and children affected by bullying at work, bullying at school or cyberbullying with information to help stop bullying

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Looking for ideas for helping your child to calm down? Look no further!

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Looking for ideas for helping your child to calm down? Look no further!

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Are you feeling sad or worried about school?

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Are you feeling sad or worried about school?

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https://www.youngminds.org.uk/

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YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People

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YoungMinds are a mental health charity for children, young people and their parents, making sure all young people can get the mental health support they need.

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Text YM to 85258.

Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis.

All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors.

Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.

Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.

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Get Urgent Help | Support If You're Struggling

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Text YM to 85258. Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis. All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors. Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.

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The importance of friendships for your mental health

Friends can help you with your mental health in lots of different ways. They might check in with how you are feeling, or simply make you laugh with the best TikToks. They might also help you by:

When friends help and support you, they can boost your self-esteem, make you feel good, and remind you that you are loved for who you are. They can help you to look after your mental health.

Advice from young people like you

Our Activists and other young people like you, share how their friends have helped them with their mental health.

Talking to friends about mental health

Talking to a friend about your mental health is one of the first steps on the road to feeling better. But sometimes, this can feel quite scary. You might not know what to say, or you might be nervous about sharing how you are feeling. That's okay! Here are some tips that can help:

Pick a good time when you won't get interrupted and find a quiet space to chat.

Explain how you are feeling.

Be clear about what you want shared. You may not want other friends to know yet, and that's okay. Let your friend know that you are not ready to share with others. However, if your friend is worried that you aren't safe, they will need to tell a trusted adult.

Remember: Good friends will want to be there for you so you don't have to struggle alone. For more tips, have a look at our page on reaching out for help.

It is normal to feel nervous or uncomfortable when it comes to talking about your mental health. This can make you feel like it is not something you want to do, but talking about your mental health with the people you trust is often the first step to feeling better.

If you are struggling with a friendship

Throughout our lives, we might struggle with our friendships. We might argue with friends, no longer speak to friends we were once close to, or we might lose some friendships. You might struggle with a friend because:

one of you moves away, making it difficult to keep in touch

your friend makes new friends that you do not feel comfortable around

you might be left out of the friendship group

you meet new friends and aren't able to spend as much time with your old friend as you used to

one of you might be struggling with your mental health, meaning that you/your friend might be withdrawn and not keeping in touch as much

your friend might not understand how you are feeling or what you are going through - this can make it difficult to chat to your friends, or make it feel like they aren't taking your feelings seriously

you are making the effort to see your friend and stay in touch but they aren't making the effort back

they often ask you for advice and it feels like a lot of responsibility that you are struggling to manage

We might have arguments with friends, and sometimes fall out, but often you can get through those difficult moments together. You or your friend may not have realised how each other were feeling or understood what either of you were going through.

By talking things through and explaining how you both feel, you can both learn to better understand how you can support each other. Overcoming these tough times together can sometimes help make your friendship stronger.

Coping with the loss of a friendship

In some situations, however, your friendship might come to an end. You may have tried to work through an argument and it hasn't worked out, or they may have not been very nice to you.

Friendships can come to a natural end too. There might not be a specific reason, but you might no longer keep in touch. Sometimes people grow apart and that's okay.

When friendships come to an end, it can be really tough. Friends are there through the highs and lows - they can be like our chosen family, meaning that it can feel tough to move on - but things can get better over time.

If someone close to you passes away, it can be extremely difficult. Jacob shares how he coped with the death of his best friend and Nia shares advice on how she coped with losing a friendship.

If you have lost a friend, our page has advice if you're finding it hard to cope.

When I lost my best friend to suicide at 16 years old, I had panic attacks and walked out of lessons at college, flooded in oceans of guilt and upset.

I went from being a very hard-working media student to not caring. I became very distant and didn't put much effort into my work.

I reached out to my GP who was very useful in supporting me. I found a counsellor, which has been a lifesaver for me in getting me back on my feet and learning how to manage my grief while keeping the memories of my friend alive.

Jacob's story: Coping with the death of my best friend

Over the years of hurting and healing, I have unfortunately learnt that there is no magic cure for dealing with the loss of a friendship. You can't ambush a heart into healing or speeding up the process, but the days get less painful and in my experience, you will come through the other side.

Take time for yourself. Don't try and replace them. Learn what it was that you valued in that friendship. Figure out what it is that you feel like you are missing without them. This will help you to look for it in future.

Cherish those friends who are currently around you, hold onto the memories you've made and trust the process.

Nia's story: How to cope with the loss of a friendship

Tips and advice from our Activists

Our Activists share their tips on what to do if you're struggling with a friendship.

Understanding when a friendship is unhealthy

While occasional arguments or disagreements can be normal between friends, there are times when friendships can become unhealthy and affect you in a negative way. This can be things like:

your friends pressuring you to do something you feel uncomfortable with, like taking drugs or drinking alcohol

when jokes or banter become hurtful and disrespectful

you are constantly arguing and falling out

they continue to ask you for help when you have told them you are unable to

they make you feel guilty

they make you feel uncomfortable when spending time with different friends and make you feel like you have to choose between them

they bully you

the friendship feels 'one-sided', where they ask a lot of you but you don't feel like they support you in return

they isolate you from a group on purpose, making you feel lonely

Sometimes, friends might do these things unintentionally or without realising, or they might continue to do them after you've asked them to stop. Ultimately, it's about how you feel about the friendship.

Show/hide caption

Artwork by @thetypewriterdaily. An open sketchbook shows a drawing that represents releasing what isn't for you. The left-hand page shows a hand releasing grey colours from its palm. The right-hand page shows a hand receiving a rainbow into its palm. The text reads, 'release what isn't for you so you can receive what is - Mansi.'

If you're finding a friendship difficult

If you're finding a friendship difficult, you might want to talk to that friend about how they have been treating you. You might be nervous about talking to them, or worried about how they will react. Childline have some tips on how you can talk to your friend and be assertive to explain how you feel.

If your friend is constantly asking you for help but you're not sure what to say, it can make you feel stressed or anxious. Our page on how to support a friend with their mental health has tips on how you can set boundaries and look after your mental health, which you may find helpful.

When a friendship becomes unhealthy, it can impact other areas of your life and how you think and feel. It can make you feel down or anxious, or might lower your self-esteem and how you feel around other people. If you feel like this, it's important that you are able to get help. Even when you disagree with friends, you still deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

You are confused, the world seems scary, and it feels like everyone else fits in and you don't. As if they all have the rule book to life which you forgot to pick up.

Right now, fitting in seems so, so important. But understanding friendships seems impossible and people are just really hard work! Growing up is hard. I know people say this a lot, but it really is true.

I know it feels like nobody gets you - you feel like an outsider looking in. You feel like an alien, born onto the wrong planet and in some ways, I guess you are. But actually, being different isn't a bad thing.

Coping with peer pressure

It's normal for people to compare themselves to their friends and peers, and often the influence of your friends can have a positive role in shaping your identity. Sometimes though, the influence of your friends and peers can be a cause of stress.

If you feel like you're being pressured by friends or peers into doing something that you don't want to do, this is called peer pressure. For example, you might feel pressured to take drugs or drink alcohol, to take dangerous risks when driving, or to have sex before you feel ready. If you are in a situation like this, it's important to say how you feel and that you don't want to take part. If your friends keep trying to get you to take part, speak to a trusted adult about how you are feeling. You need to make sure you are safe, so if you do feel at risk, you should reach out to professional services.

Seek out good friendships

You may worry that by not doing something that your friends are doing, you will be left out, or it will damage your friendship.

But remember, a good friend won't pressure you to do anything you're not comfortable with.

You deserve to have friends that accept your decisions and make you feel as though your feelings are valid.

Below are some tips to help you cope with peer pressure. Rose, 20, also shares her advice in our blog.

Real stories about friendship from young people

Get help now

If you are struggling with a friend and not sure who to talk to, there are people who will help you get through this. Here are some organisations that can provide you with support.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Friends | Tips and Advice about Friendships

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Friends can be a source of mental health support. But sometimes, you might find you're not getting along. Our page has tips and advice that can help you.

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https://open.spotify.com/show/5YxmCnkQ5IgVIhdG3hjm5M

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Helping Children Smile Again with Amanda Seyderhelm

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Listen to Helping Children Smile Again with Amanda Seyderhelm on Spotify. How do I talk to bereaved children about grief and loss? Set up a therapeutic storytelling group in my class? Build resilience in my team?

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A decent night's sleep will help children to learn more effectively and make them less susceptible to minor ailments,

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Sharing stories about various situations can put a child's mind at ease and make transitions and new experiences easier to cope with and more understandable. When a book might help is a list of story books suitable for this purpose.

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Sharing stories about various situations can put a child's mind at ease and make transitions and new experiences easier to cope with and more understandable. When a book might help is a list of story books suitable for this purpose.

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Counselling is an opportunity to talk to someone in confidence, about anything that is worrying you. This could be about home life, school, college, relationships or just about how you are feeling about yourself.

It's for when you have things going on in your life that you find hard to talk about with people who are close to you.
Counselling is an appointment with the same counsellor every week, who will listen to you and help you explore how you are feeling. You decide if you would like counselling and how long you would like counselling for.
Our trained counsellors are friendly and welcoming and won't make judgements about you or your problems. Your counsellor will never tell you what to do.

We want to make sure our service is excellent and meets the needs of the children and young people who use it.

We ask for feedback from both children and young people, and from professionals. We review all the feedback we receive so that we can ensure that our service is continually improving, relevant and giving you what you need.

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Counselling is an opportunity to talk to someone in confidence, about anything that is worrying you. This could be about home life, school, college, relationships or just about how you are feeling about yourself. It's for when you have things going on in your life that you find hard to talk about with people who are close to you.

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Grief is a natural response to losing someone who is important. It can be a very painful set of emotions, and everyone experiences it differently. The important thing is to allow yourself time to grieve for as long as you need to.

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Grief is a natural response to losing someone who is important. It can be a very painful set of emotions, and everyone experiences it differently. The important thing is to allow yourself time to grieve for as long as you need to.

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In July 2020, we joined forces with The Sleep Charity as part of a strong, ambitious mission to empower the nation to sleep better.

Both organisations have worked hard individually, over the years, to achieve change and support to those affected by lack of sleep. By merging, we have strengthened our complementary services to speak with one voice, improve the impact of our work and to raise the profile of sleep as a major factor for health and wellbeing.

The majority of content has now moved over to The Sleep Charity website where you will find a comprehensive resource of sleep information. The Sleep Council website will shortly be removed. Thank you for your support.

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In July 2020, we joined forces with The Sleep Charity as part of a strong, ambitious mission to empower the nation to sleep better. Both organisations have worked hard individually, over the years, to achieve change and support to those affected by lack of sleep.

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https://mensadviceline.org.uk/

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This factsheet explains what a non-molestation order is, how it can protect victims of domestic abuse, and how to apply for one.

Men's Advice Line evaluation survey

Have you spoken to our Advisors? Tell us about your experience

Take our survey

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Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men | Men's Advice Line UK

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The Men's Advice Line is for male victims of domestic abuse. We offer confidential advice, non-judgmental support, practical information and help

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Are you worried about your co-parenting arrangements given Coronavirus restrictions?

If you are worried about your co-parenting arrangements and struggle with communication in view of the Coronavirus restrictions, we can help you talk about what you can do now to reduce the impact of the restrictions on your family life.

We can offer an online video consultation with an expert family mediator to help you make new or changed plans to help you get through the challenges ahead.

Contact us for a consultation or book an appointment using this link.

Or use this link to find out more about the advantages of using family mediation.

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Co-parenting through the Coronavirus crisis - National Family Mediation

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Are you worried about your co-parenting arrangements given Coronavirus restrictions? If you are worried about your co-parenting arrangements and struggle with communication in view of the Coronavirus restrictions, we can help you talk about what you can do now to reduce the impact of the restrictions on your family life.

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Charlie Waller Trust, Mental Health Charity

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Charlie Waller Trust, Mental Health Charity

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We work with young people, parents and carers, schools, colleges, universities and employers.

All our work is based on sound evidence. It gives people the confidence and skills to look after their mental health.

Charlie sits at the heart of our story, our vision and our purpose.

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Charlie Waller Trust, mental health charity

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We understand mental health. Our aim is to educate young people, & those with responsibility for them, about their mental health & wellbeing. The Charlie Waller Trust was created by the Waller family in 1997 in response to the loss of their son and brother Charlie to suicide having suffered from depression.

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Resources to support your child with anxiety

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Resources to support your child with anxiety

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Stop Domestic Abuse's services cover the whole of Hampshire, including Southampton and Portsmouth.

All of our services can be accessed by calling

Our Advice Line for all parts of Hampshire is open for victims, perpetrators and their family and friends and professionals from 9.30am-5.30pm Monday-Thursday and 9.30am-5.00pm on Friday.

Emergency Refuge Accommodation - OUT OF HOURS

If you experience any difficulties getting through please contact the mobile numbers below.

If you need refuge accommodation out of our normal working hours on
Monday-Thursday evenings please call 07771 125991.

If you need to access emergency refuge accommodation at any time over a
weekend or on a bank holiday please call 07501 378314.

Please do not call these mobile numbers between 9.30am-5.30pm Monday-Thursday and 9.30am-5.00pm on Fridays (unless it is a Public Holiday) as they won't be answered.

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Our Advice Line for all parts of Hampshire is open for victims, perpetrators and their family and friends and professionals from 9.30am-5.30pm Monday-Thursday and 9.30am-5.00pm on Friday. If you experience any difficulties getting through please contact the mobile numbers below. If you need refuge accommodation out of our normal working hours on Monday-Thursday evenings please call 07771 125991.

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You see anger but how is your child really feeling?

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You see anger but how is your child really feeling?

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Often we see anger but behind this emotion may be fear, sadness, loneliness or many other feelings. Learning to understand and unpick what is really going on and helping children with the vocabulary to express these feelings is important in being able to support angry behaviours.

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https://www.camhsnorthderbyshire.nhs.uk/learning-disabilities-toileting-and-asd

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learning disabilities

Toileting and Children with Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD)

Many children with ASD experience problems with toileting. This can include a delay in toilet-training, a reluctance or refusal to use the toilet, or a reluctance to pass urine or faeces at all. There are many ideas about why this might be, although there is little research evidence to back them up. Here are some possible reasons for toilet-training issues:

LACK OF UNDERSTANDING
Children may not understand that urine or faeces are 'waste' material, and may believe that they are losing part of their body. It is hard for many children with learning disabilities to understand that food becomes poo!

GASTRO-INTESTINAL ISSUES
Research on gastro-intestinal issues in ASD is varied, but some studies suggest that children with ASD are more likely to have chronic gastro-intestinal problems. Problems such as constipation can make going to the toilet painful, so the child avoids this, which then makes the constipation worse - the child is stuck in a negative cycle.

NEED FOR CONTROL/ROUTINE
Children with ASD need the world to be predictable, and bowel movements can feel scarily out of their control.

COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
The child may not be able to let you know when they need to go to toilet, or understand your prompts/attempts to teach them. This can lead to frustration for everybody involved.

MOTOR PROBLEMS
Children who experience some form of delay in the development of their motor skills may not have full control over their bowels and/or bladder. Some children with learning disabilities may never achieve full bowel and bladder control.

LACK OF SOCIAL MOTIVATION

Children with ASD may not understand that toilet training is a healthy and beneficial part of growing up and that wearing a nappy can be socially unacceptable when they are older.

SENSORY ISSUES
Many children with ASD experience significant sensory sensitivities & struggle to manage the sensory input that they receive. This may include a dislike of the noise made by toilets, the sensation of passing urine/faeces, a cold toilet seat, or a preoccupation with water in the toilet.

Ensure the child is ready for toilet training. Some signs of bladder/bowel control are:

Urinating large amounts at once.

Having regular, well-formed bowel movements at predictable times.

Having "dry" periods of around two hours.

Able to follow simple instructions like "go and get the cup".

Indicating that they dislike the feeling of a wet/dirty nappy or pad.

Once you are sure that the child is ready for toilet training, you can help in several ways:

Record when and where the child passes faeces or urine before you begin. Pay attention to the time of day they go, the reaction of the child (did they let you know by crying or going to a particular place?), and how you responded.

Ensure any constipation is treated. If left un-treated, passing faeces can be painful and might cause the child to withhold going.

As a family, it is important to pick the right time. You need to allow toilet training to take priority, for a consistentapproach to be implemented and effortlevels to be maintained.

Accept that it is likely to be stressful for a time.

Ensure their diet includes plenty of fibre, unless you are told otherwise by your child's doctor or dietician.

1. ENFORCING BOWEL CONTROL IS NOT HELPFUL

Although it's important to have clear boundaries and routines to support children with ASD to understand what is expected of them, it's essential to understand that enforcing bowel control could exacerbate existing problems. The child must be ready.

Never use punishment when toilet-training. Making toileting a scary or unpleasant experience for children will not help them to learn, and may make them refuse to go at all (i.e. encourage withholding).

Do not react negatively to 'accidents'. It can be very frustrating for parents, but showing your stress or annoyance can inadvertently teach children that you do not want them to pass urine or faeces (children with ASD can be quite unusual learners). They may not understand that you are angry about when or where they have done it, rather than what they have done.

2. USE REWARDS

Children with ASD are often not intrinsically socially motivated (e.g. by what other people do), so you may need to motivate them in other ways. You may need to continue to reward the child for some tine after successful toilet training, until the behaviour has become part of their routine/habit.

3. MAKE IT FUN

Make the bathroom a relaxing place to spend time in. Be aware of things that would attract the child (e.g. a coloured toilet seat, stickers of their favourite cartoon characters, a soft bath-mat). Equally, be aware of things that would frighten/put-off the child (e.g. the feeling of a particular toilet seat, bright lights).

Don't tell your child to 'push' because this can lead to tensing and less likelihood of a successful bowel movement. Instead, encourage them to relax. You may find that your child is more relaxed after a warm bath.

Blowing bubbles can both entertain your child and encourage bowel movements by recreating a slight pushing motion.

You may decide to encourage the child to spend time in the bathroom playing with toys or water in the sink. However, be wary that, whilst this makes it easier to put/encourage the child onto the toilet by reducing anxiety, it can also confuse children as to the purpose of the bathroom/toilet.

4. PROVIDE THE NECESSARY TEACHING MATERIALS

Social stories can be a good way to help children with ASD to understand what is expected of them. You can create stories (with pictures) to show the whole bathroom/toilet routine (e.g. feel I need to wee, go to the bathroom, take trousers down, sit on toilet etc).

You can create stories to explain that going to the toilet is okay, and that poo and wee are meant to go into the toilet. For more able or older children, you may be able to explain that it is important to get rid of waste from the body.

You can use the child's interests to create examples, such as Spongebob/other character wanting to go to the toilet, and how he/she did it.

You may need to show your child what to do! This can seem embarrassing, but the child will probably be unaware that there is anything to feel embarrassed about, and may learn more from you 'modelling' behaviour than from a book. Alternatively, you could 'model' toileting behaviour using toys or puppets.

5. SCHEDULED SITTING

This is one technique suggested for use with children with ASD where toileting has become very stuck. It should be used in conjunction with the other advice in this section.

Identify times when your child is most likely to have a bowel movement (use a diary to monitor bowel movements as suggested overleaf). Note that 5-20 minutes after meals is a likely time (due to the gastro-colic reflex). Just prior to these times, encourage your child to sit on the toilet for 5 minutes (or a brief time initially). Give them something to occupy them (e.g. a book, handheld computer game, something else they really enjoy).

After 5 minutes, allow the child to leave the toilet; although, if they are happy to stay in the bathroom, this is preferable. After a 10-15 minute break, return them to the toilet for another 5 minutes. Repeat this process for as long as you feel the child will tolerate it without anxiety/tantrums, until the child has had a bowel movement.

Combine this strategy with social stories and rewards for any successful use of the toilet. Try to keep calm and avoid any confrontations. Consider waiting until the school holidays, when you can be more consistent with the approach.

ERIC provide expert support, information and understanding to children and enable parents, carers and professionals to help them establish good bowel and bladder health.
Website

TheNational Autistic Society provides information and support for people with Autism and their families and for professionals. They are a very active organisation and offer some really useful information about strategies and approaches for supporting people with Autism.
Website | Specific page on Toilet Training

The British Institute of Learning Disabilities also have some useful information and further advice about a variety of common issues.
Website

Local Offer is a Derbyshire-specific site which allows you to search for lots of different services, including parenting support groups, in the local area.
Website

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Many children with Autistic Spectrum Disorders experience problems with toileting. This can include a delay in toilet-training or reluctance/refusal to use the toilet at all.

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Talk to Frank - honest information about drugs

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Talk to Frank - honest information about drugs

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Find out everything you need to know about drugs, their effects and the law. Talk to Frank for facts, support and advice on drugs and alcohol today. | FRANK