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Breaking the Chains of Generational Trauma (Spotify podcast)

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Breaking the Chains of Generational Trauma (Spotify podcast)

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Breaking the Chains of Generational Trauma

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Listen to this episode from Adult Child on Spotify. In today's episode, we are diving deep into the generational nature of family dysfunction, epigenetics, and how our DNA may be carrying the symptoms of trauma from past generations.

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Compassion Fatigue

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In April 2020, my great-aunt suddenly died from a rare and aggressive cancer. She was an adored and hilarious high school "cafeteria lady" of 20 years, but her funeral wasn't the celebratory affair I had envisioned: a procession of students past and present, decades in the future. Rather, it was me, her casket, and my cellphone. My grandmother, her sister, could not travel at the time so I was elected to facilitate a video-call viewing-a virtual goodbye for two sisters. I remember my phone screen in those first moments. My aunt's eyes closed, and my grandmother's were wide open. And, then, in that moment, a notification flashed onto my screen. A student needed to talk.

Since that moment, I have been supporting student after student and teacher after teacher as they navigate their own grief. I started having trouble sleeping at night and I live with an always present feeling of anxiety and constant fatigue. I struggle to muster the same passion I once had for my classroom work. With a little research and some help from my instructional coach, I realized that I was experiencing compassion fatigue, just like, for example, 49.6 percent of education workers surveyed in Alberta, Canada. Unsurprisingly, the increased trauma associated with pandemic teaching has created a silent epidemic in education: educators with nothing left to give.

Compassion fatigue is the cost of caring, the secondary trauma developed from caring for a person who has experienced trauma. The cost looks different for everyone, including experiencing extreme exhaustion, sleep disorders, increased anxiety, and self-isolation in some of the more serious cases. When supporting a person with the trauma, like the recent death of a loved one, the cost goes up. With more students entering schools with shared trauma, teachers are exiting. Of the teachers who left the classroom during the COVID-19 pandemic, stress was the most cited reason, not the need for more money, respect, or pending retirement. Unfortunately, an increase of secondary trauma and work-related burnout is a bottomless cocktail of compassion fatigue.

Most school leaders are aware that educators, including themselves, are suffering, but they may struggle to talk about it. While many times good-intentioned, leaders' efforts to help educators dealing with compassion fatigue have further exacerbated a decline in educator mental health. Calls for teachers to exercise "self care" or administrators to "give grace" are often superficial and do not acknowledge the required healing process. Compassion fatigue cannot be cured by shortened meetings, notes of encouragement, or working fewer hours. Instead, educators need to be taught how to identify symptoms, connected with high-quality resources, and invited to help change harmful school climates.

So how can administrators support compassion-fatigue healing for themselves and their teachers? It begins with reframing the conversation.
1. Don't use language detours.
Calls for educators to be "resilient" can be harmful, making staff feel like they should be able to sustain unmanageable workloads or actively brush off signs of burnout. This kind of language detour masks, dismisses, or ignores signs of compassion fatigue. Normalizing detours can also perpetuate schoolwide burnout-for example, when teachers then encourage students to "build resiliency" rather than address mental-health struggles.

Moreover, pain-hierarchy language like "their pain is worse," "they need me more," or "do it for the kids," enforces unhealthy martyr mindsets. Educators are falsely encouraged to neglect their own mental health in favor of privileging a student's or staff member's emotional distress over their own.

Calling out and correcting these and other language detours can help educators better uncover symptoms of compassion fatigue and set healthy parameters for defining their own success.
2. Celebrate teacher well-being.

When teachers are celebrated, it is frequently for achievements that result from toxic work habits. An educator working contracted hours is rarely heralded. While these educators give their all to students, leaders that exclusively recognize educational professionals who work endless hours set the expectation that long days (and nights and weekends) are a prerequisite for success. Educators who are already emotionally depleted struggle to mimic these high expectations and feel like "bad teachers" when they fail. A common symptom for this fatigue is the inability to function productively.

Administrators can actively work to change this narrative by celebrating educators who make positive mental-health choices. Why not publicly acknowledge teachers who practice mindfulness, educate themselves about appropriate self-care, and invest in their own well-being outside of school?
3. Normalize the language around compassion fatigue and healing.
Teachers are expected to be positive people, but many times, this expectation can be harmful. When teachers express their struggles, they may be met with "look on the bright side," "it could be worse," or "don't be so negative." Meeting mental-health concerns with toxic positivity gaslights educators, making them believe that their compassion fatigue can be cured by thinking positive thoughts.

This language muzzles teachers. We may feel like we cannot express concerns without being labeled "negative" or "complainer." Instead, schools should educate teachers on indicators of compassion fatigue and give us the space to monitor symptoms, report concerns, and seek help. Turning a response from "good vibes only" into, "It is OK to feel this way. How can I help you?" welcomes healing and rebuffs silent suffering.

If compassion fatigue is not addressed, it can manifest into more serious mental- and physical-health issues. While this fact alone should prompt action by those who lead our schools and districts, it should also raise alarms for national stakeholders. When was the last time educator well-being was considered in discussions of education initiatives?

School and district leaders have a responsibility to establish an environment that not only allows educators to heal but encourages it. Not because we will leave their campuses unless they do or student achievement will suffer, but because they recognize the humanity of the individuals who are educating our young people. This is the kind of compassion we should all have time for.

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Compassion Fatigue Is Overwhelming Educators During the Pandemic (Opinion)

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In April 2020, my great-aunt suddenly died from a rare and aggressive cancer. She was an adored and hilarious high school "cafeteria lady" of 20 years, but her funeral wasn't the celebratory affair I had envisioned: a procession of students past and present, decades in the future.

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Listen to this episode from Calming Anxiety on Spotify. Hello and welcome to Martin Hewlett's Calming Anxiety.In today's show I guide you through one of the core principles of meditative breathing.

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Compassion Fatigue: What is it and do you have it?

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Compassion Fatigue: What is it and do you have it?

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Compassion Fatigue: What is it and do you have it? | Juliette Watt | TEDxFargo

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preventing and  treating secondary traumatic stress.wmv

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Anyone Can Practice Mindfulness (Spotify podcast)

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Anyone Can Practice Mindfulness (Spotify podcast)

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320 - Anyone Can Practice Mindfulness (Yes, Even You!)

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Listen to this episode from The Savvy Psychologist's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Mental Health on Spotify. You've heard how amazing and effective mindfulness is, but it sounds intimidating. Worry not! There are simple and sustainable ways to add mindfulness practices to your life and reap real benefits.

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How to Be More Resilient in Everyday Life

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How to Be More Resilient in Everyday Life

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Highly resilient people share 3 common traits; luckily, we can all learn how to cultivate them.

It would make sense to begin an article about resilience with a story of profound heroism in the face of grave injustice-Viktor Frankl surviving the concentration camps or Rosa Parks sitting wherever she damn well pleased.

But in this article, I want to talk about resilience on a smaller scale. I want to talk about being resilient in ordinary life.

Even if we're fortunate enough not to need heroic levels of resilience in our lives, it's important to know that we can all learn to become a little more resilient in the face of everyday difficulties.

For example, being more resilient in ordinary life could mean that we:

Take criticism well rather than getting defensive and losing our temper.

Process grief and loss in a healthy way, rather than trying to avoid it or allowing ourselves to be consumed by it.

Choose to bite our tongue in a fight with our spouse rather than resorting to sarcasm or worse.

In the rest of this article, I'm going to describe three traits that are common among people who are highly resilient. Then I'll offer some practical thoughts on how we can learn to cultivate each of those traits to become a little more resilient to the challenges and stresses of ordinary life.

Trait #1: Acceptance of Reality

Resilience does not mean naive optimism. In fact, a core characteristic of highly resilient people is that they are clear-eyed about the nature of the challenges they face. This acceptance of the way things really are allows them to be more effective at designing strategies to navigate their particular struggles or challenges productively.

For example, suppose you've just given a presentation to your boss at work. You believe strongly that your idea is a good one, and you feel like the presentation itself went fairly well. But to your shock, the first words out of your boss' mouth are to criticize a key component of your idea.

You feel the hurt and anger quickly rising up. Thoughts run across your mind like: Why does she have to be so negative all the time? She doesn't really know what she's talking about-I'm the engineer, after all.

At this point you've come to a fork in the road:

1. You can continue down this path of defensiveness that your mind as started you on. And while you feel justified in this, you suspect that the end result may not be so good-your boss could scrap the idea entirely, for example. Or you could end up saying something out of anger that risks your position and relationship.

2. You can acknowledge feeling hurt but try to better understand what your boss' criticism is getting at and whether, in the long run, it could lead to an even better idea. While difficult to not act on those defensive urges initially, this seems like the smarter play in the long-run.

Notice that while it's natural to feel angry and upset in response to criticism-and to interpret that criticism as unfair-this default response is not always in line with reality. Did your boss literally do something wrong by pointing out what she saw as a weakness in your idea? Is she literally always negative? Does she really not know what she's talking about? Probably not.

A more realistic assessment of things might be: She was a little blunt with her criticism-which hurt-but that's not a bad point. Or True, she doesn't have as much technical expertise in this area as I do, but, an outsider's perspective could be really helpful.

When we get in the habit of checking our initial interpretations of things, and then aligning our thoughts more closely with reality, we not only feel better in the moment but we're more likely to discover productive ways forward.

Psychologists refer to this acceptance of reality when confronted with new information as accommodation, which means to be flexible with our own beliefs in order to accommodate new facts and information. It's in stark contrast to the more primitive strategy of assimilation where we attempt to distort the facts so they fit without our pre-existing belief structures.

How to Practice

Use Cognitive Restructuring to get in the habit of questioning your default interpretations of things and replacing them with more flexible, realistic thoughts.

Here's how it works:

1. Pause. Any time you find yourself surprisingly upset, pause and say, "Okay, what's really going on here?"

2. Identify the trigger. Ask yourself: What happened initially to set me off in becoming upset? Was it something someone else said or did? Was it a thought or memory that randomly crossed my mind?

3. Notice your automatic thoughts. What thoughts and interpretations of the trigger crossed your mind immediately? How did you talk to yourself about what happened?

4. Identify and rate your emotion. Notice how you're feeling emotionally? What the strongest emotion present? On a scale from 1-10, how strong is it right now?

5. Generate alternative thoughts. How else might you interpret what happened? How would a third-party see it? Are you falling into any cognitive distortions or exaggerations? List at least a couple alternative thoughts for each automatic thought you identified.

6. Re-rate your emotion. Having generated some new, likely more realistic alternative thoughts, check back in with how you feel. Re-rate that same emotion from Step 4.

Cognitive Restructuring is best done on paper, at least at first. If you do it enough, you'll begin to change your default way of interpreting difficult situations to be more flexible and realistic. This is a huge step in becoming more resilient.

Trait #2: Sense of Purpose

Purpose doesn't have to be something grandiose or spiritual. Having a sense of purpose can simply mean that you have positive things in your life that you are excited about, curious about, look forward to, and that you consider valuable. The more of these intrinsic values we have, the stronger our sense of purpose and therefore the more motivation we have to push through difficulties.

Here's an example of how a modest sense of purpose can help us stay resilient in the face of adversity:

I had a client once who lost her mother to cancer suddenly at a relatively young age. My client was devastated. For the first few weeks after her mother's death she hardly left the house, barely ate, and was almost totally disconnected from her family and friends. She felt bad about this, but as she explained to me, she was "just too overwhelmed with the grief."

After a couple of unsuccessful attempts on my part as her therapist to help, we stumbled onto something that was just what she needed by taking a look at this idea of purpose.

One of the things that she was most distraught about was that her own young daughter was never going to have any experiences with her grandmother. I recognized that right there was a value, something personally important to my client. And while we couldn't literally give her daughter experiences with her now-deceased grandmother, maybe we could approximate it.

My client and I began to explore what aspects of her mother she most valued and wished her daughter could experience. She recalled favorite memories with her mom, favorite qualities in her, and even some of her favorite meals that her mom used to cook for her. My client brightened visibly as she talked through these parts of her mom that she valued.

Then I suggested that even though her daughter would not be able to experience her grandmother like my client had, she could still come to know her grandmother in powerful ways through stories that my client could tell about her. And at that moment, things really clicked for my client.

By clarifying a value she held dear (her daughter getting to experience her grandmother) we were able to generate a sense of purpose (telling her daughter stories about her grandmother) that allowed my client to process her grief in a healthier way and move forward with her life.

How to Practice

Use Values Clarification as a way to create a constructive sense of purpose to help pull you through difficult times and circumstances.

Values Clarification is a complex-sounding idea for a very simple activity. All it means is to spend some time intentionally reflecting on your values, the things that matter most to you in your life.

While values are often big-perhaps because they're spiritual or political in nature, for example-values can also be small. Spending quality time with a good friend, learning new skills, or being compassionate with your spouse during disagreements.

I usually recommend setting a recurring calendar appointment for 20 or 30 minutes once a month at a convenient time (Friday afternoons work well for me). Then just sit down with a blank piece of paper or notebook and start writing down whatever comes to mind when you think about your values and what really matters to you.

When we consciously take the time to discover and clarify our values-all the things, big or small, that really matter to us-we create a powerful reason for persevering through difficult circumstances.

Trait #3: Adaptability

People who are resilient to the stressors in their life have an uncanny ability to be flexible when circumstances change. Rather than becoming paralyzed or resorting to wishing and complaining that things were different, they set about to change the one thing they actually have control over-themselves.

In other words, resilient people have a knack for being creative and inventive in the face of stress which allows them to adapt and "roll with" their difficulties rather than crumble or try to escape.

One of the best examples of everyday resilience and adaptability came from a client of mine and how she learned to communicate better with her husband.

By nature, this client of mine had a very direct, matter-of-fact style of communicating. As soon as she recognized something was wrong, she wanted to bring it up and "process" it immediately. That's what worked for her.

And for a long time, that's how she approached difficulties in her marriage-she would try to get her husband to talk about things immediately, even though he was resistant to this and found it difficult. She would then get resentful that he wasn't-from her perspective-trying as hard in their marriage as she was.

What my client discovered, though, was that her husband simply preferred to think things through slowly and on his own before talking about them together. That's how he liked to "process" things. But from his perspective, he never got a chance to do that because she was always "forcing" him to process things right away and on the spot.

When my client (after some productive couples counseling) realized what was going on, she made a conscious effort to be patient with her desire to "talk it out" immediately, and instead, give her husband some space and time. As a result of this adaptability, they were able to find a better compromise for how they handle relationship issues.

How to Practice

Because creativity is perhaps the key element of adaptability, learning to become more creative-and yes, creativity is absolutely something anyone can learn!-is essential. And there's perhaps no better way to exercise your creativity muscle than to practice Divergent Thinking.

Divergent Thinking is the mental process of taking one question or problem and generating multiple answers or solutions. It's the opposite of Convergent Thinking, the more common mode of thought that involves choosing the best answer from many possible solutions (think multiple-choice tests).

A great way to practice Divergent Thinking and build up your creativity is something called the 10 New Ideas Exercise, originally suggested by James Altucher.

Here's the basic idea:

Pick a length of time (a week is good to start) and every day try to generate 10 new ideas within a specific category or topic.

For example, Monday might be 10 ideas for a new book. Tuesday might be to come up with 10 ideas for a new business. Wednesday might be 10 ideas for a date night with your spouse.

Here are a few more tips and guidelines for the exercise:

Choose a specific time and place to do this exercise and schedule it. I like to do it right after I've worked out as I'm cooling down. Not sure why, but that works for me.

Physically write down your ideas. Pen and paper seem to be best, but typing them into a notes file on your phone or computer is fine. Just don't try and do it in your head.

Know that actually coming up with good ideas is not the point; it's the act of generating new ideas that we're working on.

An extension of the above point is that you don't want to censor or edit your ideas. Just get them out.

For more examples of Divergent Thinking exercise that will improve your creativity and adaptability, check out this guide to Divergent Thinking and Creativity.

Summary and Key Points

Highly resilient people share 3 common traits: Acceptance of Reality, a Sense of Purpose, and Adaptability. While resilience is crucial for people undergoing extreme suffering and trauma, it's also a trait we can all benefit from in small but important ways in everyday life.

3 practical strategies for becoming more resilient in everyday life include:

1. Use Cognitive Restructuring as a way to make your self-talk and default reactions to stressors more realistic and constructive.

2. Use Values Clarification as a way to identify meaningful values that motivate us to persevere through difficult circumstances.

3. Use Divergent Thinking to foster creativity and flexibility so that we can be more adaptive in the way we react to new challenges and difficulties.

The News Audit: A Simple Way to Make Time for the Things That Matter Most Rethinking the Battle Against Depression

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How to Be More Resilient in Everyday Life

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Highly resilient people share 3 common traits; luckily, we can all learn how to cultivate them. It would make sense to begin an article about resilience with a story of profound heroism in the face of grave injustice-Viktor Frankl surviving the concentration camps or Rosa Parks sitting wherever she damn well pleased.

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All humans need a certain amount of resilience to face life as it is, and there are numerous resilience activities for adults that can help build up that resilience if you need to do so.

A resilient person is someone who is able to spring back after a difficulty rather quickly, and this includes a multitude of both physical and emotional difficulties. Below are 49 activities that people can participate in to build up their resilience and help them lead better lives.

Just Do it

Most resilience exercises center around changing a person's attitude, although there are still some specific actions you can take to improve your resilience. These include the following:

#1: Don't look at problems as being impossible to solve; always think of them as opportunities or challenges.

#2: Always be moving and working towards your life goals.

#3: Always be on the lookout for things that can help you with your self discovery.

#4: Keep everything in the right perspective.

#5: Take care of yourself both physically and mentally.

#6: Make connections with other people and work to improve your social network.

#7: Don't view change as something negative; change is an inevitable part of everyone's life.

#8: Stay positive about what you have to offer the world.

#9: Use decisive actions to increase the odds that you'll get what you want.

#10: Always cling to hope; have a hopeful attitude towards life.

You can also develop resiliency by following a few other simple rules, such as:

#11: Start by evaluating yourself honestly in areas such as how much support you get from family and friends and how well you communicate with others. This will tell you what you need to work on first.

#12: Think of a past situation that required you to be resilient and what the result was. This can help you learn what to do and what not to do the next time it happens.

#13: Have a specific resiliency plan, and make sure you include both short- and long-term goals. Resiliency is an ongoing thing, not something you gain one day and can forget about the next.

#14: Don't be afraid to face your fears and take yourself out of your comfort zone. In fact, the only way to build up your resilience is to be fearless and open minded.

#15: When something goes wrong, think of three ways the situation could've been much worse. This helps you put everything into perspective.

Activities for Groups Are Very Effective

Group activities that build up resilience are both popular and effective, and many businesses utilize them to help their employees. After all, a resilient employee is a better and happier employee, and below are some of the resilience activities for adults that these businesses have used:

#16: Too much traffic. Similar to a chess game, this game requires two sets of people that must move towards the other side of the room in the same order they're in at the beginning of the game. No one can pass over a teammate, and they can only move to an open space each time. Wrong moves result in a traffic jam and require the process to start over from the beginning.

#17: The minefield. Get a large mat and draw squares on it. Have someone decide where the mines are underneath the mat, then let one person at a time cross the mat without stepping on a mine. No one is allowed to talk to keep everyone in the dark about where the mine is. Once you step on a mine, you have to go to the back of the line and start again. If you cross the mat without stepping on one, you are eliminated. The first team that has everyone eliminated wins.

#18: The magic stick. Get a helium stick and divide the group into teams. Each team has to lower the stick to the ground by using their index fingers only. You cannot pinch or grab the stick. If someone's finger isn't touching the stick, that team has to start all over again.

#19: The marble game. Teams use a hollow tube and put marbles inside that cannot be touched or exposed to daylight. Each team has to transport the tube to the end point without the marbles spilling out. It is a great game to build up mental toughness and resilience.

#20: The human knot game. People stand in a circle and each person takes two other people by the hand until a knot is formed. The team has to learn how to unravel themselves without breaking the chain, and they have to start over if this happens.

#21: The shepherd and the sheep. Assign people from each team to be the shepherd and blindfold all of the sheep. The shepherd must direct the sheep into a pen without words - they can only use sounds. They also cannot move past the start point as they direct the sheep. The game is timed and the team that guides the most sheep into the pen when it ends is the winner.

The Right Leader Makes a Difference

If you're a supervisor looking for specific activities to build up resilience company wide, the task is much easier than you think. Just a few angry customers or unmet sales goals can cause a lot of negative feelings in your subordinates. Below are some resilience activities for adults that can turn those things around for you:

#22: Concentrate on being your employees' ally and not a critic. This doesn't mean you can't point out things they're doing wrong, but they should always feel like you're on their side and are working with them to achieve the company's goals.

#23: Allow certain employees to choose which duties they want to perform. Stressed-out employees are usually not good at handling a crisis, so when a crisis does occur, you may have to step back and encourage them to work towards the company goal in a self-directed manner, at least for a while.

#24: Constantly remind employees why everyone has to work together. You can't have employees thinking everything is about the money, so reminding them regularly about the many benefits of working together is a smart way to manage people and build up their resilience.

Team Resilience Activities - Part 2

There are also resilience activities geared towards solving specific problems; for example, those that help build up team trust or improve confrontational skills. Often, employees lack empathy or interpersonal skills, and the following activities can be very helpful in developing those skills:

Building Trust:

#25: The t-shirt game. On sheets of paper, draw a t-shirt and hand one to everybody. Have everyone draw something on their shirt that tells who they are. Time them at five minutes, then let everyone explain what they drew and why.

#26: Many different shapes. Hang up pieces of paper with different shapes on them and ask each participant to identify with one of those shapes. Group the shapes together and have participants explain why they chose their particular shape. The shapes should include a square, a triangle, a squiggle, a circle, and a rectangle. Explain at the end that squares are usually hard workers and detail-oriented, triangles are usually energetic and show leadership skills, squiggles are usually unique multi-taskers who can be a little disorganized, circles are usually people-pleasers and love harmony, and rectangles are risk-takers who usually have problems deciding which shape to choose!

#27: Getting personal. Have participants get in a group and answer some personal questions, such as where did you grow up? What was your very first job? Can you share something about yourself that most people don't know?

#28: Telling the truth. Have each participant tell three things about themselves, but only two of them can be true. Have the other participants guess which one is false.

#29: Profiling on the basis of behavior. Choose a behavior-profiling tool, such as Myers-Briggs, so participants can learn what "type" they are. Have them discuss what they learned at the next meeting.

Conflict and Confrontation

#30: Opening another person's fist. Divide the group into A's and B's. Have person A close his first and person B try to open it without hurting person A. Afterwards, discuss who used force, who used distractions such as tickling, who simply asked person A to open his fist, and so on.

#31: Resolving conflict. This is a great exercise if your team frequently runs into the same problems when trying to resolve an issue. Have groups choose one of those problems and brainstorm so that they can work together to come up with the right solution.

Making a Commitment

#32: None of these resilience activities for adults will be successful if the participants don't have a certain level of commitment. To start with, list the things that everyone has agreed on in your meeting, and ask everyone to contribute to the list so you can know everyone is on the same page.

#33: A common goal. After you've determined that everyone is in agreement regarding the contributions made, ask everyone what needs to be done to be successful. This can include things such as reducing expenses, strengthening the team, and many others.

Activities Can Be Fun

Of course, resilience-building exercises do not have to be boring or dull. In fact, many of them are specifically designed so that the participants have fun while still learning something. They may not know what they are learning at first, but this is usually revealed at the end of the game. Here are some more resilience-building exercises:

#34: Zooming in. Get a deck of cards with random pictures on them and let each participant have a card. No one can share his card with anyone else, but one person at a time has to show his card and create a story from it. The next person shows his card and expands on the same story using only the pictures seen so far. Every person gets a turn.

#35: In case you survive. Tell each group of participants that their team has been in a plane crash and they have to choose 12 items to help them survive. Have them tell everyone else what items they chose and why.

#36: Old-fashioned tug of war. Have two teams perform a good old-fashioned tug of war game. This is a great way to build up your team.

#37: Balloons, balloons. Think up or research any game that involves balloons, and have your teams participate in those games. You can even think up your own games if you like.

Working on Your Own

Even if you're not looking for resiliency-building exercises for your colleagues or subordinates, you may wish to utilize them for your own personal growth. Here are a few other resilience activities for adults that have been proven to be effective:

#38: Don't be so hard on yourself. When something goes wrong, chalk it up as a learning experience and move onto something else.

#39: Don't ignore your usual routines. Routines can bring some comfort to you when you're stressed, so if you have a favorite routine, use it whenever things get rough.

#40: Do things to help you feel more in control. In times of stress, concentrate on one thing at a time, and that focus will help you feel like you have more control over what is happening to you.

#41: Solve a problem for someone else. You can feel better about yourself in many ways if you try to help someone else whenever you can.

#42: Take news fasts. You don't need to know everything that is going on in the world, so turn off the news every now and then so that the bad news doesn't affect your psyche.

#43: Choose a stress-free area. Your bedroom or office should be a hassle-free zone, an area where you never let stress and anxiety overpower you.

#44: Find the best way to express yourself. If you like to draw, paint, or write, participate in this activity whenever you feel overwhelmed by stress.

#45: Find out what your strengths are, and use them to better your life and increase your sense of control.

Sometimes the Basics Work Best

There are also many basic activities that people can utilize to make themselves more resilient. Sometimes, basic activities and exercises simply work the best, which is why most of them have been around for so long. Below are some of those exercises:

#46: Have a piggy bank. If you put a certain amount of money in a piggy bank every time you overcome an adversity, it can breed more self confidence and help you move forward a little easier.

#47: Maintain a diary. Writing your feelings down is not only cathartic, but it can help you better understand what is truly going on in your life and what you need to do to improve your life.

#48: Allow for some "me" time. Taking regular care of yourself is a great idea for many reasons, so when things get stressful, just relax and listen to some of your favorite music or watch a few of your favorite television shows.

#49: Learn to meditate. Regular meditation doesn't have to consist of anything formal. Just allow yourself time every day where you think about nothing and learn to breathe and relax.

Some Final Thoughts

When it comes to resilience activities for adults, most of them concentrate on improving either a physical or emotional part of your life. The mind-body connection is real, and it is important to pay attention to both of these aspects of your life to increase your resilience. Resilience activities can be found for young people, older people, teenagers, and even children, so regardless of what you're looking for, you are bound to find it.

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49 Resilience Activities for Adults and Why They Are So Important

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All humans need a certain amount of resilience to face life as it is, and there are numerous resilience activities for adults that can help build up that resilience if you need to do so. A resilient person is someone who is able to spring back after a difficulty rather quickly, and this includes a multitude of both physical and emotional difficulties.

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Discover the benefits of yoga, including stress and pain relief, better breathing, flexibility, increased strength, and more!

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Setting aside a few minutes for mindful breathing can make a big difference to your day.

Mindful breathing is an important way to establish a routine and become comfortable with the practice.

What's important is practice. It's a tool you can use to bring yourself back to the present moment in stressful situations, and who wouldn't appreciate having such a valuable tool on hand for those times when you need it?

Learning mindful breathing is straightforward, and it's as easy as your next breath.

Before you read on, we thought you might like to download these three Mindfulness Exercises for free. Our science-based, comprehensive exercises will not only help you cultivate a sense of inner peace throughout your daily life, but also give you the tools to enhance the mindfulness of your clients, students, or employees.

What Is Mindful Breathing?

Mindful breathing is a simple practice available to all. Regularly engaging in it can provide benefits such as a reduction in stress, increased calm and clarity, as well as the promotion of happiness.

Closely tied to deep breathing exercises, mindful breathing takes it a step further and links the benefits of deep breathing with the process and techniques of mindfulness.

Relationship Between Mindfulness and Breathing

Coupling mindfulness and breathing techniques involves cultivating awareness of your experience in the present moment, living each moment as fully as possible.

From a practical point of view, you may ask how this works.

The breath is the life force. Breathing gives us life; as we inhale, it brings oxygen to cells; when we exhale, we release waste products in the form of carbon dioxide. Different types of breathing affect our body differently; for example, rhythmic breathing balances the nervous system.

A Look at Mindful Breathing Meditation

This form of meditation is often coupled with other types of therapy such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

Practicing mindful breathing is gently focusing attention on the breath. You begin noticing the breath coming in and going out. You are not trying to change your breathing in any way, and because of this, there are no expectations; you are merely aware of the breath from moment to moment.

This form of meditation practice involves paying close attention to the present moment - especially our thoughts, sensations, and emotions - whatever it is that's happening.

Mindful breathing can give you a greater sense of control; increased self-awareness; a greater sense of calm, peace, and happiness; and greater resilience in stressful times.

Providing pain relief

Alongside mindful breathing, Zeidan and Vago (2016) found that mindfulness meditation could be effective in reducing the level of pain intensity. It should be further researched as an alternative to opioids in people with chronic pain conditions like fibromyalgia, migraines, and lower back pain.

The Smith Center for Healing and the Arts, which provides cancer support, recommends mindful breathing for clients who are undergoing treatments at their facility. Their clients find that the benefits of mindful breathing meditation can reduce symptoms, as it relieves pain and has fewer side effects than chemotherapy, including less nausea, fatigue, anxiety, and increased immune system functioning.

You don't have to be undergoing treatment to access the benefits of this form of meditation.

Reduction of anxiety

Mindful breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is your body's " rest and digest " system. When the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, your heart rate and blood pressure lowers, which can help reduce anxiety in the process.

Burnout is something we know all too well, and it's common for adults to feel burnt out from their jobs. Mindful breathing can reduce burnout, cynicism, emotional exhaustion, and anxiety.

Decrease in negative thinking

Practicing mindful breathing can decrease negative automatic thoughts, which can be common in people with depression. Mindful breathing can make way for a better mood (Feldman, Greeson, & Senville, 2010).

Roy, Druker, Hoge, and Brewer (2020) found a rapid increase in the number of interactive mindfulness apps designed for health and wellbeing. In contrast, little research has been published on developing frameworks for the design and evaluation of digital mindfulness technologies. The researchers found that many existing digital mindfulness applications are purely software based.

Zhu, Hedman, Feng, Li, and Osika (2017) tested a physical-digital mindfulness prototype that included the use of vapor and light. Results of the first phase showed that 22 of 25 participants (88%) claimed vapor and light could be effective ways of promoting mindful breathing and that the use of vapor could potentially support mindful breathing better than light (especially for beginners).

The researchers concluded that the use of stress reduction tools should be customized and that the design work of mindfulness technology for stress reduction is a complex process.

Mindful Breathing Exercises

Using breathing techniques is an excellent way to control when you feel anxious or stressed.

You can practice mindful breathing first thing in the morning when you wake up to relieve muscle stiffness and back tension, or clear clogged breathing passages.

Here's a simple way to achieve this: From a standing position, bend forward from the waist with your knees slightly bent, letting your arms dangle close to the floor. As you inhale slowly and deeply, return to a standing position by rolling up slowing, lifting your head last. You then hold your breath for just a few seconds in this standing position. Exhale slowly as you return to the original position, bending forward from the waist. Notice how you feel at the end of the exercise.

Another exercise you could try is belly breathing. This is achieved by placing one hand on your stomach and the other on your chest. Inhale, filling your belly with air, and pushing your hand out.

Allow your breath to fill your lungs, pushing your other hand out. Finally, slowly exhale. You also could choose to hold the inhalation for a count of four. The University of Michigan has examples of several other breathing techniques.

You can also check out our post with 22 Mindfulness Exercises, Techniques, and Activities to further your learning.

10 Useful Scripts and Guides

There are many scripts available with articles giving online training. Here are eight useful scripts and guides to deepen your understanding.

1. A Mindful Breathing Script

Written for Whole Health for those experiencing pain, this script gives informative instructions and explains what happens during the mindful breathing process.

2. Beginner's Breathing Meditation: Free Relaxation Script

This free relaxation script gives guidance on how to relax by focusing on your breathing. It recommends keeping sessions brief to maintain concentration when first starting.

3. Mindful Breathing Meditation

This meditation is adapted from Thich Nhat Hanh's A Short Teaching on Mindfulness Breathing and recommends daily practice for 5-10 minutes at regular times as well as throughout the day in stressful situations and emergencies.

This meditation tool suggests placing the word " breathe" in prominent areas (e.g., mirrors, kitchen cabinet, the dashboard of your car) to remind you to breathe mindfully and deeply throughout your day.

4. Mindful Breathing - A way to build resilience to stress, anxiety, and anger

This meditation from UCLA MARC's website encourages you to listen while in a comfortable position sitting in a chair or on the floor.

5. A Three-Minute Breathing Space

This short exercise is the ideal way to include mindfulness in your busy day. The exercise explains how to use a timer to create structure for mindful breathing.

6. Anchor Breathing

Anchor Breathing is a guided meditation script that teaches you how to use breathing as a way to anchor your thoughts in the present.

7. Mindful Breathing

The primary goal of this meditation is to describe mindful breathing as merely a calm, non-judging awareness, allowing thoughts and feelings to come and go without getting caught up in them.

8. The Mindfulness of Breathing: Short Lead-through by Kamalashila

This script is a 20-minute lead-through of the traditional meditation known as ' The Mindfulness of Breathing.' Taught by Kamalashila for the last 20 years, this is one of the bases of any Buddhist practice - an essential complement to the Metta Bhavana (development of lovingkindness). Other meditations are also featured on the site.

9. Breathing Together

Breathing Together is a group exercise that aims to enhance personal mindfulness practice as well as deepen interpersonal connection and empathy.

10. Breath Awareness

Breath Awareness is a six-step guide teaching participants how to become aware of their breath.

5 Best YouTube Videos

As you learn more about this effective form of mindfulness, you may prefer to listen to guided meditations. Here are five of the best YouTube videos about mindful breathing:

1. Mindful Breathing Exercise

2. Kids Meditation - Square Breathing

3. Mindful Breathing | Mindfulness Meditation

4. Relax and Breathe: Do Nothing for 10 Minutes

5. 3 Minutes Peaceful Breaths: Mindful Breathing for Anxiety in Kids | Calmer Classrooms

Exercises and Activities for Students

PositivePsychology.com has 25 fun mindfulness activities for children and teens, with mindful breathing being a staple of practicing mindfulness.

Mindful Breathing Activity for Kids by teachstarter encourages children to follow the lines in time with the breath.

Kids Meditation demonstrates how to do five-finger breathing.

MyLife has a Kids Meditation cartoon with underwater scenery using a cool octopus.

The Happiness India Project (Sandip Roy) incorporated these 7 Mindfulness Steps to Start Practicing with their easy guide.

All you have to do is find a comfortable and quiet place, set the timer on your phone for five minutes, and follow these steps:

Step 1 - Take a deep breath and relax, with your eyes open or closed.

Step 2 - Close your eyes and drop all your concerns now, like setting down a heavy bag.

Step 3 - Now focus on your breath. Bring your full awareness to the sensation of your breathing.

Step 4 - Start counting your breaths softly - count from one to ten, and then start over.

Step 5 - Get more and more absorbed in your breathing.

Step 6 - Now, bring your attention to the presence of the thoughts that are moving through your mind. Take notice of them, then gently bring your focus back to your breath. This is the most critical step of practicing mindfulness meditation.

Step 7 - Feel a growing sense of peacefulness within as you keep settling into the breath with more focus. You may bring the meditation to an end by opening your eyes, stretching out your hands, and getting up.

A Take-Home Message

Mindfulness breathing may incorporate different components such as time and visual cues, but all information is based on the same basic method.

After practicing these techniques, you should be able to notice positive benefits that will enhance your life.

The benefits are too good to pass up, and setting aside only five minutes of your day learning how to control your breathing will help you feel relaxed and calmer, which is an asset not just to yourself but to those around you.

The overwhelming rewards from doing these exercises will benefit you physically and mentally. Holistically, you will feel different, more relaxed, happy, and calm. Remember, there is no right or wrong when doing this; it's just breathing!

Thanks for reading, and good luck on your journey toward becoming happier, healthier, and more peaceful.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don't forget to download our three Mindfulness Exercises for free.

If you wish to learn more, Mindfulness X© is our eight-module mindfulness training package for practitioners, and it contains all the materials you'll need to not only enhance your mindfulness skills, but also learn how to deliver a science-based mindfulness training to your clients, students, or employees.

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