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He goes undercover.

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tOo reLataBle :o

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cHocCy mOo moO jUicE :D

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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

Stick

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something

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How do you make a napkin dance...

Put a little boogie in it

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I was eating a clock today, it was very time consuming, I also went back for seconds!

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I tell my dad jokes a lot. Sometimes he laughs

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wOw .o.

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what kind of music does santa like to listen.....
rap music

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Q. What does Santa suffer from going down the chimney?
A. CLAUStrophobia

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what do you get when you mix a shoe and a banana

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what do you get when you mix a shoe and a banana

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a slipper

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Why did the old man fall in the well?

Because he couldn't see that well

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I saw Mr. O'Malley looking suspicious with some graph paper yesterday -- I think he was plotting something.

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Because of diplomatic immunity xD

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg

Because every play has a cast

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Why did Adele cross the street?

To say Hello from the other side!

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lol

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why did the coffee file a police report?

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why did the coffee file a police report?

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it got mugged!

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What did the canoer say when he saw a tall duck?

Duck!

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What do you give a sick Lemon?

Lemon AID

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it's the opposite of com is pro what's the opposite of progress

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What is the best thing about switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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when did the boy go to the dentist at 2:30 (tooth hurty)

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Q:What did the sleepy bike say to the monster truck?
A: I guess I'm not as tired as I thought!

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ground beef!

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why did tut go to the hospital... because he got hit in the GUT

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knock knock.
Who's there.
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No silly cows go moo!

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Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away.

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Knock Knock

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What did the mathmatician say about negative numbers?
he will stop at nothing to avoid them.

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From the signs we did in class.

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DId you know that 7 days without a good Dad Joke makes one weak!

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Me: I'm Hungry!

Dad: Hey Hungry! I am Dad!

Me: Pfft. Whatever. I need food!

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What do you call a Pig the dose Karate or Tae Kwon Do?

Pork Chop!

Why do bees have Sticky Hair?

Because they use honeycombs.

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What's a skeleton's favorite  food?

RIBS

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Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up.

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Why was the sky blue?

Because it missed the clouds!

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dogs:when your human is having a party

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Have you heard the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu, you get what you deserve.

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i told my brother he was drawing his eyebrows to high.He looked suprised

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Does a tree make a sound if no one is around to hear it? No one knows?

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Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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where is flag of siszerland

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I invented a new word! Plagiarism.

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when you need food and you say you're hungry and then your dad says hi hungry my name is Dad

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Why was the sky blue?

Because it missed the clouds!

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why did the whale cross the ocean? ..... to get to the other tide!!!!

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what do you call an Italian imposter? an imposta

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Why do ducks have tail feathers?

To cover their butt quacks.

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my face when I find out the pizza rolls are gone

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There was a boy sailing in the sea. Suddenly, can of Fanta cam from the sky and started pouring juice from the sky. The boy said, "Is it real life or Fanta Sea?!"

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What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?

"Where's popcorn?"

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on the day of prom some people in highschool went together in a car. first they had to stop at a gas station because they ran out of fuel, and then on their way to the place their car broke down. when they fixed thir car they had to go to the bathroom. after that they were hungry so they got something too eat. when they arrived at the place they went to get some punch and then they realized that there is no punchline

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Can I tell you a joke about pizza, sorry it's to cheesy.

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Teacher: Write a 80-100 word essay
me: *writes a 80-100 word essay*

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A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

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A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

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What do you call a magic dog?

A Labracadbrador.

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Happy Holidays! 🎄🌟

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What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

Frost Bite!

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What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

NoBoDy KnOwS

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Merry Christmas !

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Q. What did the mouse say to the cheese.

A. So nice to EAT you!!

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you know about the neolithic man's apple tree, it was the roots to advanced civilisation  

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up

because it was TWO tired!

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Cause every play has a cast.