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Finding the Message, Solving the Problem

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Think of the last time a student called out in class, pushed in line, or withdrew by putting their head down on their desk. What was their behavior telling you?

In most cases, behavior is a sign they may not have the skills to tell you what they need. Sometimes, students may not even know what they need. What are your students trying to communicate? What do they need, and how can you help?

Respond to students, not their behaviors

First, know that when students act out, those actions can bring about emotions in teachers and other adults. Given all of the pressures placed on teachers, you may already feel stressed or emotional. It’s normal to take students’ behaviors personally because of your own feelings and needs in the moment.

One way to reframe your thinking is to respond to the student, not the behavior. Start by considering the life experiences that students bring to the classroom.

Some students who learn and think differently have negative past experiences with teachers and school. Others may come from cultures in which speaking up for their needs in front of the whole class isn’t appropriate.

Students who have food insecurity may push others out of the way at lunchtime to make sure they get something to eat. Students who have experienced trauma can often be wary of others. They may be hypervigilant and prone to what looks like overreactions to simple things. Keeping these experiences in mind can help you respond to the reasons for student behavior and not simply react to or correct the behavior itself.

What student behavior is telling you

Figuring out the function of, or the reasons behind, a behavior is critical for finding an appropriate response or support. Knowing the function can also help you find ways to prevent behavior issues in the future.

Learning for Justice (formerly Teaching Tolerance), an organization that provides resources for educators to create civil and inclusive school communities, offers the acronym EATS to highlight some possible functions of behavior. EATS stands for Escape, Attention, Tangible gains, and Sensory needs. Here’s a breakdown of what that means:

Escape: Some students use behavior to avoid a task, demand, situation, or even person they find difficult. Escape behavior can also be quiet, like students who ask to use the bathroom every time it’s their turn to read.

Example: Sofia, who struggles with reading, often breaks the rules during her language arts class. She refuses to take out her book during silent reading time. She eventually throws it to the floor, calls the teacher a name, and gets sent to the office.

What her behavior is saying: Sofia is communicating that she’s struggling with reading and would rather get into trouble than be asked to do a task that is challenging for her without the support she needs.

Attention: Some students behave in ways that are designed to gain attention. They may feel unsure about when or whether they’ll get your attention otherwise. Attention-seeking can play out in positive behaviors as well, such as when students work hard on a task to get your approval.

Example: Nevaeh is what you might call a clingy student. She really wants to show how hard she worked on her math. She puts up her hand and calls the teacher’s name over and over. When she doesn’t get a response, she walks across the room, taps the teacher’s arm, and yanks on her sleeve.

What her behavior is saying: Nevaeh is trying to tell you that she’s unsure about her strengths. She’s communicating that she needs your approval to be sure she’s done a good job on her math.

Tangible gains: Some student behavior is aimed at getting what they want, when they want it. This type of behavior is very common for students who struggle with impulsivity or flexible thinking.

Example: Joseph often talks back to his teacher and comes off as disrespectful. He misses or ignores his teacher’s hand gestures to lower his voice. Joseph gets agitated when he’s told to stop. He argues that he’s just trying to get answers to his questions. He believes the teacher should respond to him right away.

What his behavior is saying: Joseph is communicating that he needs more information to understand the lesson. From past experiences, he may have learned to talk or question the teacher continuously until he receives a response. His behavior represents trouble with communication skills. That means there’s an opportunity to teach the social skill of waiting to talk. In not responding to the teacher’s subtle cues to stop talking, he’s not simply being belligerent. He’s showing that he needs explicit help learning to respond to cues appropriately to have his needs met.

Sensory needs: Students’ brains are constantly taking in information from their senses. For some, processing that stream of input is a struggle. “Sensory seekers” underreact to sensory input or need more of it to function. “Sensory avoiders” overreact to sensory input. They may become overwhelmed and hyperactive. Those behaviors become problematic when they are disruptive or interfere with learning.

Example: Ethan tends to be “hands on” with other students. It’s particularly a problem when he’s standing in line. He complains that he feels crowded. He may push other students out of the way.

What his behavior is saying: Ethan is trying to let you know that he’s overwhelmed by being so close to other students. He is literally moving them out of his personal space, which may be a larger area than is typical for others.

Harness the power of collaboration

It can be hard to figure out the function of a student’s behavior, especially when there are learning and thinking differences at play. Most schools have a collaborative teacher assistance team that can help you understand student behaviors. Those teams are typically made up of special and general education teachers, as well as other professionals, like a school psychologist or a counselor.

Talk with the team about whether an observation by a member of the team or a formal functional behavioral assessment (FBA) is necessary to gather data. This information can lead to a more in-depth look at the reasons behind the student’s behavior.

When you work together to understand the behavior, you’ll be better prepared to help students identify what they need and how to communicate that more appropriately.

Related topics

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Understanding Behavior as Communication: A Teacher’s Guide

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Understanding that behavior is a form of communication can help teachers reframe what they’re seeing and not take student behavior personally.

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IRIS | Page 1: Preventing Challenging Behavior in Young Children

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Page 1: Preventing Challenging Behavior in Young Children

Early childhood teachers* identify children's challenging behaviors as one of the most difficult aspects of their jobs. In fact, this is the number one area for which early childhood teachers report feeling the least prepared. To be successful, teachers must be able to prevent and respond to challenging behaviors. Often, these behaviors can be prevented through universal teaching practices or preventive practices that are designed to benefit all children in the classroom. One powerful preventive practice is establishing clear behavior expectations and rules and systematically teaching and encouraging children to follow them. This preventive practice can have a significant impact on children's behavior and help classrooms to function more smoothly. It creates a common ground for how children and adults are expected to treat each other. The use of this practice also builds a strong classroom community, promotes physical and emotional safety, and helps children develop confidence and competence as they grow.

View Transcript

ML Hemmeter, PhD
Professor, Special Education
Co-Faculty Director of the Susan Gray School for Children
Vanderbilt University

Research Shows

Most educators recognize that rules offer children more predictability in the classroom and should be incorporated into a good management plan. Formal expectations, including rules, should be routinely taught, posted, reviewed, and practiced.
(Van Acker, 2007)

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IRIS | Page 1: Preventing Challenging Behavior in Young Children

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Early childhood teachers* identify children's challenging behaviors as one of the most difficult aspects of their jobs. In fact, this is the number one area for which early childhood teachers report feeling the least prepared. To be successful, teachers must be able to prevent and respond to challenging behaviors.

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The Impact of Participation in an Elementary Behavior Support Program on Students’ Prosocial Behavior, School Functioning and Academic Performance

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The Impact of Participation in an Elementary Behavior Support Program on Students' Prosocial Behavior, School Functioning and Academic Performance

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Environmental factors are causing children to bring well developed patterns of antisocial behavior to school which negatively impact their ability to access their educational program. Existing strategies and resources are not adequately meeting the social-emotional and behavioral needs of students.

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Social Skills: Laying the Foundation for Success

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Well-informed teachers of young children recognize the importance of children's social development. The development of social skills lays a critical foundation for later academic achievement as well as work-related skills. Social development is such a key issue with young children that a number of methods to address social skills have been advocated. Some of these methods include: (1) setting up classrooms to enhance social development; (2) providing play opportunities to promote social functioning; and (3) teaching social skills directly. Teaching social skills can incorporate a number of techniques, including direct instruction, learning from peers, prevention of problem behaviors, and children's books. Many social behaviors are better learned among peers, so teachers of young children are in a unique position to promote social learning in their classrooms. This article provides teachers with several research-based strategies to promote young children's social skills development. (Contains 2 tables.)

Descriptors: Direct Instruction, Socialization, Academic Achievement, Young Children, Social Development, Interpersonal Competence, Play, Student Behavior, Special Needs Students, Behavior Problems, Prosocial Behavior, Story Telling, Child Development, Childrens Literature, Books, Teaching Methods, Classroom Techniques, Class Activities, Developmentally Appropriate Practices, Learning Activities, Teacher Role, Guidelines, Classroom Design, Trauma, Educational Therapy, Intervention, Psychoeducational Methods

Southern Early Childhood Association. P.O. Box 55930, Little Rock, AR 72215. Tel: 800-305-7322; Fax: 501-227-5297; e-mail: info@southernearlychildhood.org; Web site: http://www.southernearlychildhood.org/publications.php

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ERIC - EJ945679 - Social Skills: Laying the Foundation for Success, Dimensions of Early Childhood, 2010

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Well-informed teachers of young children recognize the importance of children's social development. The development of social skills lays a critical foundation for later academic achievement as well as work-related skills. Social development is such a key issue with young children that a number of methods to address social skills have been advocated.

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Behavior is Learned

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It can be difficult to think of effective consequences that actually teach BETTER BEHAVIOR than simply punish a child for a discipline problem! But after teaching 28 years, I have come up with quite a few ideas that I have tucked away in my bag of discipline tricks, and I am excited to share them with you today! These are all (well, mostly!) positive consequences that I have used successfully in Transitional Kindergarten (TK), Kindergarten, first grade, and second grade. And now since we are a PBIS (Positive Behavior Intervention and Supports) school, it will be handy to have a fresh look at this list. I hope that it's helpful to you, too!
Consequences That Teach Better Behavior Instead of Punish 1. Start with the Positives!
Of course, we always start with the positives, right? We offer praise and encouragement. We recognize the children that are making good choices with statements such as, "____ is helping us by lining up quietly." Or, "_____ is following directions by cleaning up the first time he was asked." In addition, I am working on avoiding phrases, such as "I like the way ______..." unless I am VERY specific on what the child is doing that helps our class. Also I want the children to work towards making our classroom a better place for everyone, rather than just pleasing ME!
2. Redirect When Positives Fail
When the positives fail, I redirect children to other activities if possible. For example, if the children are having trouble at recess or inside playtime, it's fairly easy to explain that their behavior with that toy/game was not okay, and then interest them in a different activity as an alternative. I tell them that they can try that first activity again tomorrow to see if they can remember the correct way to use it, etc.

If the child is misbehaving during a lesson, such as talking with a neighbor, it can be tough to redirect that child, because you have to continue with the lesson, and the child needs to see it. So I first remind the child that they cannot talk during a lesson, and they may miss something important. Telling a child the reason WHY is important! I also tell them what will happen if they continue- that I will not be able to allow them to continue to sit there, because that won't be a good learning spot for him or her. It's not a punishment; it's a way to help the child learn.

During a whole group lesson, if a child is still misbehaving after a verbal reminder, the next step is redirecting or moving him or her. But this does NOT have to be a "TIME OUT" moment! Simply don't treat is as a punishment! Spin it as a second chance to learn better and try again in a different place. I tend to move kids around, giving them assigned seats on our colored carpet rug until I figure out the best seating configuration for everyone anyway.

For more severe behavior issues that cannot be solved by a simple seat change, here are some redirection types of things to try that I have had success with.

Send a restless child to go and draw a picture at a table of what the teacher is teaching, rather than just sit and listen with the rest of the group.

Send a child to a center to do something calming, such as stare at a relaxation jar or squeeze a fidget, etc.

One child I know responded to the fine motor exercise of clipping clothespins on the edge of a bowl. When the bowl was empty, he was usually calm enough to rejoin the class.

Another child had a book with a social story in it to read. It was customized for her with her rules and consequences. When she was having a tough day, she would go and "read it" (she had it memorized in no time!) and color a page!

The key to making redirection work is that you cannot let the problem get too big before stepping in to take care of it. Otherwise, it could just wind up making you look weak.
Proactive Redirection? Yes! Solve It Before It Begins!
In the past , I have had a few children that just behaved and learned better in certain locations in the room during whole group lessons- especially when they were just plain separated from other students in back at a table, but alone! So in order to PROACTIVELY AVOID an issue that might come up. I told those certain children quite clearly and gently that they were NOT in time out or in trouble in any way, but that I was HELPING THEM stay OUT of trouble, so that they could have a great day! If they object, I tell them that I want to try it this time, and then we can compare it to their learning behavior in their regular seat next time. Wherever they learn and behave best is the best spot!
3. Remove the Child and Private Chat
When these other steps fail, I have my class play The Quiet Game if necessary and then pull the child aside for a little chat. Then I ask the child to look me in the eyes and tell me what they were doing, and whether or not it was a good choice. We talk about it for a minute. Then they have to tell me what they will do differently next time. I do try to connect with the child during this time, and really try to understand what caused the behavior, and what the child's underlying message is. Remember, all behavior is communication! So what is the child trying to say?

All that being said, there are times when these chats have to happen during recess, only because we have to preserve our instructional time. I do believe in consequences that teach, but I also believe that the rest of the class is entitled to their chance to learn, and that no child should have the power to take our learning time away by regularly disrupting the class on purpose.

But this is the key: the child cannot rejoin the group until they have told me what they did wrong and what they will do differently next time. That's the learning piece! And it's also one of the most difficult things for some children- and not because they don't KNOW what they did wrong- they just don't like to ACKNOWLEDGE it!

Other points to remember: Give the child a chance to save face. Never publicly humiliate a child. Preserve the relationship between you and the child or things will get worse and worse for you, not better! Treat all children with the compassion and grace that you would want for your own children.
4. Beyond "The Chat": What to Do With Severe Problems
As unpleasant as it is to think about, there are occasionally children that are hurting so much that they present very severe discipline problems. These are the ones that NEED you to form a relationship with them the very MOST! Try to talk to them each day, making eye contact with them as they come through the door and greeting them personally. Children who need love the most usually ask for it in the most unloving ways! Comment on how hard they are working or congratulate them for getting to school on time. Just get to know the child. It makes a difference!

Here are some consequences for these children that have worked for me:

When children are upset about something that happened, sometimes I have the child draw a picture of what happened, and of what they will do differently next time.

Another idea is to have the child draw a picture of why he is angry.

A "Thinking Chair" is a good place for a child that just needs to STOP for a few moments, calm down, and think about redirecting HIMSELF. Even adults are entitled to a time out now and then and should be able to ask for it.

Have child sort pictures of good choices and bad choices. There is a wonderful set I found here!

Have the child play ALONE for a day or a week, since she or he is a danger to the other children. I put a jumprope around the area that the child could play in, and told the other children that they could not enter it. This is usually QUITE effective and can bring about a big change in behavior.

Send the child to another teacher's classroom for some time to think. Often, this makes kids uncomfortable enough that they prefer to avoid it and are motivated to change their behavior.

If a child has reached the point that he/she is on a daily behavior contract, then at that point, the rewards and consequences have usually been agreed upon by the parents, teachers, and administrators. Sometimes, this may include loss of some recess or playtime. It could also be a home consequence. But whatever it is, it is a consequence that the child responds to and cares about. Loss of recess/playtime is the LAST thing I do, not the first.

Older children that can write may respond to writing complete sentences telling "Ten Reasons Why" whatever they had done was a bad choice.They could not go onto any of the more fun things, such as iPad time, computer time, reading with friends, etc., until this was finished.They really hated it, but if they wanted to do ANYTHING fun for the rest of the day, they had to do it. It was an effective deterrent.

Older children with writing skills can write down why they are angry, what happened, and what they will do next time.

Older children can fill out a that indicates the causes and effects of each of their choices so that it's clear that they understand which choices caused their current predicament, and another flow chart that shows what better choices they can make that will result in things they like.

5. What to Do With Children That Keep Hitting, Hurting, etc.
If you wind up with a child that is continually hurting other children by hitting, kicking, spitting, pinching, etc., then you have your work cut out for you! Of course, you can NOT allow the child to hurt the other children. That's a given. So even if that aggressive child doesn't really seem to be doing any real damage to the others, you'll still have to deal with it and put a stop to it or it will likely just intensify until you do. I think that this is because behavior like this is usually a cry for help (or a message of some kind), at least in my opinion. We teachers may not have the expertise to identify the underlying problem, but we can be sure that there is one. Start observing, take some notes, and get the parents in there and try to figure it out! Look for consistent triggers that precede the behavior as well. Eliminating those may help you eliminate the undesired behavior.

So what's the REAL problem? Does the child seem to have friends? If not, why not? Is mom having a baby? Is everything alright at home? Are the parents getting along? Did mom just go back to work? Has dad been recently deployed? Did they just move? Did a grandparent pass away? Are these behaviors allowed at home? (Because if so, those behaviors will probably continue at school!) Is there a disabled sibling in the family? How much sleep is this child getting regularly?? What does he typically eat before school, if anything? Is this child just DYING for ATTENTION, ANY KIND OF ATTENTION??? Any of these things can trigger behavior problems in young children! Get to the bottom of it and you're halfway there!
When a child's behavior is regularly SO BAD that there is a problem several times a day, it's time to put the child on a daily contract. A Behavior Contract in Which You Focus on the Positives
In cases like these, I have the child work ONLY for the POSITIVES rather than call out the negatives continually. If she did something But if the child did minor wrong, I marked it on her contract, but that's it. nothing wrong, he/she was pronounced GOOD!!! This worked very well for me one year recently.I had the day written out like a schedule on her contract, and she would try to earn a stamp to put on each time slot (such as story time, walking in line, or reading table, etc.) orby following the rules during each one.

She enjoyed putting the stamps on, and I tried hard to remind myself to praise her each time we transitioned into something new- assuming she had behaved.If she had trouble, then I marked it on her contract and reminded her to try again next time, because I KNEW SHE COULD DO IT! I am including a copy of this contract here as a free download for you. Unfortunately, it is not editable unless you happen to use QuarkXpress on the Mac. If you do, just let us know and we'll send you an editable version!

If an apology was needed, I asked her for it.Sometimes, I asked her to explain what she did wrong, and what a better choice would be, and why.HOWEVER, my policy was that if she HURT someone, then I would take away recess or playtime- in five minute increments only- because playtime is crucial for children.

So the main take away here is that the contract was really for ME! It kept ME, the TEACHER, faithful in giving her positive feedback after every subject before we transitioned to the next one. And she got the extra attention that she seemed to want so desperately, in the form of my praise and the stamps on her contract. In addition, her parents did an excellent job following through with things at home.

And guess what? After a few months, she didn't really need all of the extra praise and constant attention any more! Sometimes we both forgot about the contract and the stamps for a couple of hours! Her better behavior won her some friends and she started getting the regular kind of positive attention that everyone truly enjoys. She went from hitting/hurting two to four times per day to perhaps one or two times per week. And I call that a HUGE success!
What about the rest of the kids? Don't they want it too?
This behavior contract has worked for me in very difficult situations about five different times over the years. It has never NOT worked to improve behavior! Yes, it is time consuming in the classroom, and yes, all of the children would like the stamps. But when a child is having so many problems in the classroom, it's usually quite obvious to the other children that he/she needs help. They really DO understand! Just give them some chances to try out the stamps, or whatever it is, and they'll get over it. Mine always do. :)

I hope that this was helpful to you in some way! Have a wonderful school year!

- Heidi

P.S. Here are a few blog posts with some more behavior management tips! And be sure to check our Classroom Management collection on Heidisongs.com!

When You're OVERLOADED with DISRUPTIVE Kids Who JUST WON'T STOP!

Getting Control of Classroom Transitions

Getting Control of a VERY Difficult Class, Take Two

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Consequences That Teach Better Behavior (Instead of Punish)

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It can be difficult to think of effective consequences that actually teach BETTER BEHAVIOR than simply punish a child for a discipline problem! But after teaching 28 years, I have come up with quite a few ideas that I have tucked away in my bag of discipline tricks, and I am excited to share them with you today!

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Behavioral disorders | Educational Psychology

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Behavioral disorders are a diverse group of conditions in which a student chronically performs highly inappropriate behaviors. A student with this condition might seek attention, for example, by acting out disruptively in class. Other students with the condition might behave aggressively, be distractible and overly active, seem anxious or withdrawn, or seem disconnected from everyday reality. As with learning disabilities, the sheer range of signs and symptoms defies concise description. But the problematic behaviors do have several general features in common (Kauffman, 2005; Hallahan & Kauffman, 2006):

they tend to be extreme

they persist for extended periods of time

they tend to be socially unacceptable (e.g. unwanted sexual advances or vandalism against school property)

they affect school work

they have no other obvious explanation (e.g. a health problem or temporary disruption in the family)

The variety among behavioral disorders means that estimates of their frequency also tend to vary among states, cities, and provinces. It also means that in some cases, a student with a behavioral disorder may be classified as having a different condition, such as ADHD or a learning disability. In other cases, a behavioral problem shown in one school setting may seem serious enough to be labeled as a behavioral disorder, even though a similar problem occurring in another school may be perceived as serious, but not serious enough to deserve the label. In any case, available statistics suggest that only about one to two per cent of students, or perhaps less, have true behavioral disorders-a figure that is only about one half or one third of the frequency for intellectual disabilities (Kauffman, 2005). Because of the potentially disruptive effects of behavioral disorders, however, students with this condition are of special concern to teachers. Just one student who is highly aggressive or disruptive can interfere with the functioning of an entire class, and challenge even the best teacher's management skills and patience.

Strategies for teaching students with behavioral disorders

The most common challenges of teaching students with behavioral disorders have to do with classroom management-a topic discussed more thoroughly in Chapter 7 ("Classroom management"). Three important ideas discussed there, however, also deserve special emphasis here: (1) identifying circumstances that trigger inappropriate behaviors, (2) teaching of interpersonal skills explicitly, and (3) disciplining a student fairly.

Identifying circumstances that trigger inappropriate behaviors

Dealing with a disruption is more effective if you can identify the specific circumstances or event that triggers it, rather than focusing on the personality of the student doing the disrupting. A wide variety of factors can trigger inappropriate behavior (Heineman, Dunlap, & Kincaid, 2005):

physiological effects-including illness, fatigue, hunger, or side-effects from medications

physical features of the classroom-such as the classroom being too warm or too cold, the chairs being exceptionally uncomfortable for sitting, or seating patterns that interfere with hearing or seeing

instructional choices or strategies that frustrate learning-including restricting students' choices unduly, giving instructions that are unclear, choosing activities that are too difficult or too long, or preventing students from asking questions when they need help

By identifying the specific variables often associated with disruptive behaviors, it is easier to devise ways to prevent the behaviors, either by avoiding the triggers if this is possible, or by teaching the student alternative but quite specific ways of responding to the triggering circumstance.

Teaching interpersonal skills explicitly

Because of their history and behavior, some students with behavior disorders have had little opportunity to learn appropriate social skills. Simple courtesies (like remembering to say please or thanks) may not be totally unknown, but may be unpracticed and seem unimportant to the student, as might body language (like eye contact or sitting up to listen to a teacher rather than slouching and looking away). These skills can be taught in ways that do not make them part of punishment, make them seem "preachy," or put a student to shame in front of classmates. Depending on the age or grade-level of the class, one way is by reading or assigning books and stories in which the characters model good social skills. Another is through games that require courteous language to succeed; one that I recall from my own school days, for example, was called "Mother, May I?" (Sullivan & Strang, 2002). Still another is through programs that link an older student or adult from the community as a partner to the student at risk for behavior problems; a prominent example of such a program in the United States is Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, which arranges for older individuals to act as mentors for younger boys and girls (Tierney, Grossman, & Resch, 1995; Newburn & Shiner, 2006).

In addition, strategies based on behaviorist theory have proved effective for many students, especially if the student needs opportunities simply to practice social skills that he has learned only recently and may still feel awkward or self-conscious in using (Algozzine & Ysseldyke, 2006). Behaviorist techniques include the use of positive reinforcement, extinction, generalization, and the like. In addition to these, teachers can arrange for contingency contracts, which are agreements between the teacher and a student about exactly what work the student will do, how it will be rewarded, and what the consequences will be if the agreement is not fulfilled (Wilkinson, 2003). An advantage of all such behaviorist techniques is their precision and clarity: there is little room for misunderstanding about just what your expectations are as the teacher. The precision and clarity in turn makes it less tempting or necessary for you, as teacher, to become angry about infractions of rules or a student's failure to fulfill contracts or agreements, since the consequences tend already to be relatively obvious and clear. "Keeping your cool" can be especially helpful when dealing with behavior that is by nature annoying or disrupting.

Fairness in disciplining

Many strategies for helping a student with a behavior disorder may be spelled out in the student's individual educational plan, such as discussed earlier in this chapter. The plan can (and indeed is supposed to) serve as a guide in devising daily activities and approaches with the student. Keep in mind, however, that since an IEP is akin to a legal agreement among a teacher, other professionals, a student and the student's parents, departures from it should be made only cautiously and carefully, if ever. Although such departures may seem unlikely, a student with a behavior disorder may sometimes be exasperating enough to make it tempting to use stronger or more sweeping punishments than usual (for example, isolating a student for extended times). In case you are tempted in this direction, remember that every IEP also guarantees the student and the student's parents due process before an IEP can be changed. In practice this means consulting with everyone involved in the case-especially parents, other specialists, and the student himself-and reaching an agreement before adopting new strategies that differ significantly from the past.

Instead of "increasing the volume" of punishments, a better approach is to keep careful records of the student's behavior and of your own responses to it, documenting the reasonableness of your rules or responses to any major disruptions. By having the records, collaboration with parents and other professionals can be more productive and fair-minded, and increase others' confidence in your judgments about what the student needs in order to fit in more comfortably with the class. In the long term, more effective collaboration leads both to better support and to more learning for the student (as well as to better support for you as teacher!).

References

Algozzine, R. & Ysseldyke, J. (2006). Teaching students with emotional disturbance: A practical guide for every teacher. Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin Press.

Hallahan, D. & Kauffman, J. (2006). Exceptional learners: Introduction to special education, 10th edition. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

Heineman, M., Dunlap, G., & Kincaid, D. (2005). Positive support strategies for students with behavioral disorders in regular classrooms. Psychology in the Schools, 42(8), 779-794.

Kauffman, J. (2005). Characteristics of children with emotional and behavioral disorders, 8th edition. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson/Merrill Prentice Hall.

Newburn, T. & Shiner, M. (2006). Young people, mentoring and social inclusion. Youth Justice, 6(1), 23-41.

Sullivan, A. K. & Strang, H. R. (2002/2003). Bibliotherapy in the Classroom: Using Literature to Promote the Development of Emotional Intelligence. Childhood Education 79(2), 74-80.

Tierney, J., Grossman, J., & Resch, N. (1995). Making a difference: An impact study of big brothers big sisters. Philadelphia: Public/Private Ventures.

Wilkinson, L. (2003). Using behavioral consultation to reduce challenging behavior in the classroom. Psychology in the schools, 47(3), 100-105.

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Behavioral disorders are a diverse group of conditions in which a student chronically performs highly inappropriate behaviors. A student with this condition might seek attention, for example, by acting out disruptively in class. Other students with the condition might behave aggressively, be distractible and overly active, seem anxious or withdrawn, or seem disconnected from everyday reality.

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Breaking SEL Down Into Manageable Practices | Edutopia

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Most teachers agree that social emotional learning is important, but teaching those skills in already crowded school day can be a daunting task. The cost-in both funding and time-can hinder schools from integrating social emotional learning (SEL) into their daily activities, writes Arianna Prothero in EdWeek.

The development of easy, quick practices that reinforce SEL allows for integration into a classroom's curriculum and schedule, says Stephanie Jones, director of the Ecological Approaches to Social Emotional Learning -or EASEL at Harvard University.

"Sometimes what can happen with SEL is that it gets relegated to a special space," Jones told EdWeek. "Like ... the school counselor comes in and teaches it on Friday afternoon, and that separates the work into one spot. But SEL is in every setting and interaction. It's part of being human. If things get separated into one space, the work is not happening as effectively as it should."

To help teachers, EASEL took common SEL strategies and distilled them down into kernels: "a cost-effective method to teach social-emotional skills in flexible, bite-sized lesson." The activities are designed to be flexible, succinct, and versatile-and require little preparation by teachers.

At one elementary school in Sacramento with disciplinary issues resulting in a high number of suspensions, students struggled to transition from recess back to the classroom. "Students would really hang onto whatever issue they had with another student, or if they had been reprimanded by one of the [staff on recess duty], they would just bring that into the classroom," Principal Gina Pasquini told Prothero. Pasquini introduced a kernel activity where students discussed what happened on the playground and resolved any lingering conflicts before returning to their academic work. She saw an improvement in behavior and the number of suspensions declined.

At another school in Connecticut, teachers use a "'feeling circle' during which students are encouraged to explore their emotions in-depth as teachers prompt them with questions like, 'What do feelings feel like in your body?'" Creating self-awareness in an easy, accessible way provides a pathway to social emotional growth without putting a heavy burden on educators to create or initiate big changes to their curricula or routine.

Not every kernel involves communication. Students learn emotional regulation and self-awareness through another kernel called belly breathing. "Teachers have students breathe deeply through their noses and notice their bellies expand, and then exhale through their mouths and notice as their bellies collapse. Teachers then ask students if they felt a difference before and after the breaths," Prothero writes. "They ask students to think of times during the day-at school and at home-to use belly breathing to calm their emotions." The reflective part of the practice helps students think about when they might use their newly developed skills independently.

A kernel called "zip zap zop" helps students develop the ability to focus through a game. "A student will clap their hands toward a peer of their choice and say 'zip.' The receiving student will then clap their hands at another peer and say 'zap,' and so on. If a student breaks the chain by saying zip, zap, or zop out of order, they're out of the game," Prothero writes. Students reflect on the importance of focus and brainstorm about ways to implement focus in other parts of their school day.

One of the main benefits of kernels is that they can be modified by teachers to suit different ages and needs. For example, belly breathing can become "Darth Vader breathing" for students with an interest in Star Wars, or ' sphere breathing' -where students use their breath to follow the movement of an expandable sphere-shaped tool-"for a class that's studying three-dimensional shapes." Adapting the kernels for an individual class or student allows educators to customize their practices while preserving the intended outcomes.

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Breaking SEL Down Into Manageable Practices

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Most teachers agree that social emotional learning is important, but teaching those skills in already crowded school day can be a daunting task. The cost-in both funding and time-can hinder schools from integrating social emotional learning (SEL) into their daily activities, writes Arianna Prothero in EdWeek.

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Objectives

The purpose of this module is to recognize and practice the interpersonal skills that will assist in dealing with conflict. By the end of this module you will be able to:

Identify basic communication behaviors that may trigger conflict by communicating disrespect through disconfirmation;

Practice skills that identify disrespectful behavior;

Use language strategies for communicating respect -- confirming behaviors;

Identify communication behaviors that increase defensiveness;

Practice supportive communication skills to reduce defensiveness;

Identify the challenges of having face saving techniques along with face supporting techniques.

First take a look at the importance of R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Reference: Jones, T.S. & Jameson, J., Department of Communication, North Carolina State University

Brought to you by creducation.org

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Objectives The purpose of this module is to recognize and practice the interpersonal skills that will assist in dealing with conflict.

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Social-Emotional Learning and at-risk Children and Youth – Journal of Global Engagement and Transformation

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Author Note

Yvonne I. Larrier, Indiana University South Bend; Tinisha Lewis, GCSCORED Inc., Caribbean. Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Yvonne Larrier, Counseling & Human Services Department, Indiana University South Bend, South Bend, IN 46615. E-mail: ylarrier@gcscored.com

Abstract

More and more, behaviors of children, youth, and communities are being classified as at-risk in societies locally and globally. Behaviors associated with the at-risk classification are aggression at home, school and in the community, underperformance and underachievement at school, and truancy. Acquiring social emotional competencies (SECs) is an effective way of diminishing and eventually eliminating these behaviors. Acquiring these SECs from as early as kindergarten acts as a protective factor against maladaptive and risky behaviors later on in life. Social emotional education, or learning, is the acquisition of five core skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, responsible decision-making, and relationship skills. As children and youth acquire these skills, they are better able to relate to self, others, and situations. These highly developed SECs can be seen in children's enhanced academic achievement and performance, decreased incidents of violence, improved school attendance, and empathy.

Keywords: Social-emotional learning, at-risk children and youth, mental health

Risky Behavior

According to Feinstein (2002), an individual is considered at-risk for a specific event or condition "...if they are suitably susceptible to that event and if it has not yet occurred" (p. 328). In today's society, there are many negative factors that affect children and youth at various stages of their lives. Risky or negative behaviors at the early stages of a child's life, including aggression, antisocial attitudes, poor academic performance and achievement, and truancy, can be curbed or prevented with the help of family members, the school, and the community's involvement (Bierman et al., 2003).

According to Terzian, Andrews, and Moore (2011), "risky behaviors can be associated with serious, long-term, and - in some cases - life-threatening consequences. This is especially the case when youth engage in more than one harmful behavior" (p. 1). Simple disciplinary incidents of behaviors, when not addressed early in a child's academic career, can lead to further risky behaviors such as poor academic achievement and performance, as well as intra- and interpersonal difficulties. When not addressed, these behaviors can result in children and youth becoming susceptible to engaging in drug use, among other risky behaviors, later in their lives (Bierman et al., 2003).

A report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2013) found that in any given year, one in every five children (20%) in the United States would be diagnosed with a mental illness that would adversely impact their lives at home, school, and in the community. In addition to this, fewer than one in five children diagnosed have received appropriate treatment. The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (2011) found that one of the main health issues that plagued youth within the United States was substance abuse. Furthermore, alcohol was considered the most favored addictive substance among youth, followed by marijuana, cigarettes and prescription drugs.

According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (2011), prior to the age of 18, nine out of ten high school students met the criteria for addiction, and began illegally drinking, smoking, and using prescription drugs. The Center also found that 34.4 million (46.1%) children and youth under the age of 18 lived with an adult substance abuser.

Factors Contributing to the At-Risk Children and Youth Crisis

There are multiple reasons for children and youth's at-risk behaviors. Examples include lack of adult supervision, television commercials, exposure to behaviors such as domestic violence, bullying, and trauma, along with societal issues and lack of social emotional competencies (SECs). A study conducted by Weisman and Gottfredson (as cited by Durlak, Weissberg & CASEL, 2007), found a contributing factor for children and youth who engaged in at-risk behaviors stemmed from the lack of adult supervision given to them after school. The probability of children and youth engaging in at risk behaviors, experiencing poor academic performance and achievement, and decreased school attendance, increased when they were left unsupervised.

The research of Snyder, Milici, Slater, Sun, Strizhakova (as cited in the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, 2011) showed as well that youth who viewed alcohol commercials on television were more likely to use and abuse substances. The researchers identified that "... 7.5 percent of all alcohol product advertisements-and 9.0 percent of all such advertisements on cable television - appear on programs where the underage audience is more than 30 percent" (pp. 72-73).

Being a bully also puts a student in the at-risk category. If this behavior is not addressed early in a student's life, it tends to produce future at-risk behaviors; not only for themselves as a perpetrator, but also for their victims and for the bystanders. Bullying can disrupt an entire school, community, and the well-being of various families by leaving permanent social and emotional scars on children's lives. All individuals are affected - the victim, the perpetrator, and the bystanders (Brackett, Rivers, & Salovey, 2011).

The bullied child is susceptible to depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideations. The perpetrator of the misconduct experiences feelings of hostility, anxiety, and depression, and subsequently later, substance use, abuse, and antisocial behavior. The bystanders watching the bullying taking place, experience feelings of hopelessness, insecurity, and thereafter symptoms of a traumatic experience (Brackett, Rivers, & Salovey, 2011).

According to UNICEF (2006), there are approximately two hundred and seventy-five million (275,000,000) children globally who are exposed to violent behaviors in their home. Children who are exposed to this kind of environment tend to be at-risk for becoming victims or perpetrators of abuse. Abuse also affects their physical, emotional, and social development. This is sometimes externalized through poor academic performance and achievement, poor school attendance, bullying, and other negative prosocial behaviors. At the core of bullying, substance use and abuse, domestic violence, poor academic performance and achievement, poor school attendance, and other negative social emotional behaviors are a lack of social emotional competencies (Bierman et al., 2003; CASEL, 2015b; Payton et al., 2000; Weissberg & Cascarino, 2013 ).

Social Emotional Learning

According to CASEL (as cited in Weissberg and Cascarino, 2013), social emotional learning (SEL) is the ability to obtain and effectively apply the "knowledge, attitudes, and skills to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions" (p. 10). Social-emotional competence is as critical to children and youth's intra- and interpersonal success as reading and math competences are to academic and career success. Weissberg and Cascarino (2013) discussed five social emotional competencies that aptly fit under three broad domains: cognitive, emotional, and behavioral. The five SECs are: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, responsible decision-making, and relationship skills.

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize accurately the way one's thoughts and emotions influence behavior. This ability also allows an individual to identify and label their feelings and further identify and develop their strengths and positive qualities. This competency can be seen as foundational to the other four competencies (Weissberg & Cascarino, 2013; Weissberg & O'Brien, 2004).

Self-Management

According to Weissberg and Cascarino (2013), self-management is the ability to control one's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in various settings and situations. It also involves setting personal, social, career, and academic goals, and working towards them.

Social Awareness

Social awareness is other-awareness. It is the ability to identify and understand the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of individuals and groups, whether they are similar or different from one's own (Weissberg and O'Brien, 2004).

Relationship Skills

Relationship skills is the ability to create and maintain healthy and rewarding relationships with various individuals and groups by communicating effectively, actively listening, working together, discussing conflict productively, and looking for and providing help when needed (Weissberg & Cascarino, 2013).

Responsible Decision-Making

Responsible decision-making is the ability to make proper and respectful choices about one's behavior and social interactions based on one's ethical standards. This involves the realistic evaluation of the consequences that could result from one's actions, concerns of protection, and the well-being of oneself and others (Weissberg & Cascarino, 2013).

Benefits of Acquiring Social Emotional Competencies

The acquisition of social emotional competencies has innumerable benefits to the individual regardless of their age, gender, geographic location, socioeconomic status, religious and sexual orientation, and educational background. Children and youth who present few protective factors and a higher number of risk factors can benefit from participating in programs that have, at their core, social emotional skills acquisition and training. For example, at the individual level, acquiring SECs helps to equip children and youth with empathy, self-awareness, and problem-solving skills. It allows them to be more focused and attentive in class, responsible, sympathetic, have a clearer life purpose, and to have a sense of contentment that positively influences self, others, and situations within the home, school, community, and future workplace (CASEL, 2015c; Jones & Bouffard, 2012; Weissberg & Cascarino, 2013; Zins & Weissberg, 2004).

Pasi (2001) noted that, "In a society where the importance of appreciating diversity, multiculturalism, and equity must be underscored, these students also learn to value differences and demonstrate increased sensitivity to the feelings of others" (p. 4). Durlak et al. (as cited by CASEL, 2015b) confirmed Pasi's (2001) findings when they found that students who obtained quality social emotional education improved their attitudes, relationships, and beliefs regarding self, others, and situations.

Within the home setting, acquiring social emotional competencies equip children and youth with qualities such as kindness, peacefulness, respect, and openness (CASEL, 2015a; Fredericks, Weissberg, Resnik, Patrikakou, O'Brien, 2014). According to CASEL (as cited in Weissberg & Cascarino, 2013), social-emotional skills are important because they prepare children and youth to become productive citizens. These skills lead to improved work ethics and collaboration skills, enhanced work performance, and increased creativity and innovation.

The Payton et al. (2000) study posited that the social emotional learning framework could be used to direct a variety of research-based prevention programs that could target health, substance abuse, violence prevention, sexuality, character, and social skills within communities. In addition to this, social emotional learning frameworks can also provide positive engagement and cohesion within communities. According to Durlak et al. (as cited by CASEL, 2015b), within the school setting, the acquisition of social emotional competencies provides better adjustment and academic performance, which have been shown to improve attitudes and behaviors. These include a greater motivation to learn, an in-depth commitment to school, more time dedicated to schoolwork, and increased positive classroom behaviors.

The implementation of social emotional competencies has also shown fewer negative behavioral problems in children and youth (i.e. aggression, bullying, disruptive classroom behavior, delinquent behaviors, and ill-discipline) and less emotional pain (i.e. depression, anxiety, social withdrawal, and stress). Furthermore, the acquisition of SECs has been shown to produce better grades and test scores in children and youth as well; those with SEL in a study scored a range of 11 percentile points on average more than students who did not acquire social emotional competencies (CASEL, 2015b).

According to Albright and Weissberg (2010), children and youth SECs are enhanced when they are reinforced at home and at school. Parents and teachers who display highly developed social emotional competence influence the manner in which they think about and interact with their children and students. When parents and teachers use similar strategies to promote the acquisition of SECs, the transition between home and school becomes more consistent and continuous. This increases the likelihood of improved intra- and interpersonal relationships between children and their parents, teachers, siblings, and peers. Research has supported the notion that school-family SEL programming positively impacts student success (Albright & Weissberg, 2010).

CASEL (2015a) reported that children who participate in comprehensive social and emotional learning programs characterized by safe, caring, and well-managed learning environments and instruction in social and emotional skills, tend to experience a reduction in risk factors and an increase in protective factors such as enhanced school attachments, increased academic achievement and performance, decreased behavioral referrals, decreased bullying reports, etc. This increase in protective factors creates a learning environment that promotes school attendance and, by extension, graduation rates (CASEL, 2015a).

In addition to the primary responsibility of providing academic and other cognitive skills to students, schools now have the added responsibility of prevention and intervention work in the areas of substance use, violence, bullying, truancy, and school dropout. CASEL reports that, when schools and students engage in multi-year, integrated approaches to a social emotional education, students and schools experience major gains across domains (CASEL, 2013). Engaging the home, the entire school community, and the community in which students live, learn, and love from as early as kindergarten until high school, yields positive benefits for all involved (CASEL, 2013, p. 9).

A study conducted with 324 low-income students and 112 kindergarten and first-grade teachers, found that there were significant effects of high-quality teacher-child relationships in kindergarten having future influences on math achievement in first grade (McCormick, O'Connor, Cappella & McClowry, 2013). These results were confirmed by McCormick, Cappella, O'Connor and McClowry (2015) in their study on the relationship between social emotional learning and academic achievement. They found that there were improvements in math achievement as well as emotional support among a similar population.

Jones and Bouffard (2012) studied the relationship between social emotional learning, mental health, and risky behaviors in children and youth. They found that many educators and parents realized that children who had strong social and emotional skills performed better academically, had healthier relationships with peers and adults, and were able to positively make emotional adjustments and experience mental health.

By teaching children and youth social emotional competencies, there are noticeable improvements in behaviors and academic performance and achievement (CASEL, 2005). Jones and Bouffard (2012) supported the findings of CASEL (2005) when they reported similar data from Illinois, USA, school leaders towards students at their school. They observed that the acquisition of social emotional competencies increased students' performance levels at school, improved their learning environment, and increased attendance levels and graduation rates.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the acquisition of social emotional competencies is as critical to student success as are numeracy and literacy competencies. The acquisition of social emotional competencies is indisputably and inextricably central to the intra- and interpersonal success of children, youth, and adults across settings. In order for all of our societies to attain wholeness, all stakeholders must be fully engaged in the social emotional development of all children and youth, and those who influence and inspire them.

References

Albright, M. I., & Weissberg, R. P. (2010). School-family partnership strategies to enhance children's social, emotional, and academic growth. Retrieved from https://static1.squarespace.com/static/513f79f9e4b05ce7b70e9673/t/5307ad29e4b0ebfe8b 3ed620/1393012009663/school-family-partnership-strategies-to-enhance-childrens-social%2C-emotional%2C-and-academic-growth.pdf

Bierman, K. L., Hops, H., Brown, C. H., Oetting, E. R., Clayton, R. R., Sloboda, Z.,...& Greenberg, M. T. (2003). Preventing drug use among children and adolescence (in brief). Retrieved from https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/preventing-drug-abuse-among-children-adolescents/acknowledgments

Brackett, M. A., Rivers, S. E. and Salovey, P. (2011), Emotional Intelligence: Implications for Personal, Social, Academic, and Workplace Success. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5: 88-103. doi:10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00334.x

CASEL. (2005). Safe and sound: An educational leader's guide to evidence-based social and emotional learning (SEL) programs. Retrieved from http://static1.squarespace.com/static/513f79f9e4b05ce7b70e9673/t/5331c141e4b0fba62007694a/1395769665836/safe-and-sound-il-edition.pdf

CASEL. (2015a). Frequently asked questions about SEL. Retrieved from http://www.casel.org/social-and-emotional-learning/frequently-asked-questions/

CASEL. (2015b). Outcomes associated with the five competencies. Retrieved from http://www.casel.org/social-and-emotional-learning/outcomes/

CASEL. (2015c). Social and emotional learning core competencies. Retrieved from http://www.casel.org/social-and-emotional-learning/core competencies/

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2013): Retrieved from: https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/features/kf-childrens-mental-health-report.html

Durlak, J. A., Weissberg, R. P., & CASEL. (2007). The impact of after-school programs that promote personal and social skills. Retrieved from http://www.uwex.edu/ces/4h/afterschool/partnerships/documents/ASP-Full.pdf

Feinstein, A. R. (2002). Principles of medical statistics. New York, NY: Chapman & Hall/CRC.

Fredericks, L., Weissberg, R., Resnik, H., Patrikakou, E., & O'Brien, M. U. (2014). Schools, families, and social and emotional learning: Ideas and tools for working with parents and families. Retrieved from http://education.praguesummerschools.org/images/education/readings/2014/SEL_and_families.pdf

Jones, S. M., & Bouffard, S. M. (2012). Social policy report: Social and emotional learning in schools from programs to strategies. Retrieved from http://www.srcd.org/sites/default/files/documents/spr_264_ final_2.pdf

McCormick, M. P., Cappella, E., O'Connor, E. E., & McClowry, S. G. (2015). Social-emotional learning and academic achievement: Using causal methods to explore classroom-level mechanisms. AERA Open, 1(3), 1-26.

McCormick, M. P., O'Connor, E. E., Cappella, E., & McClowry, S. G. (2013). Teacher-child relationships and academic achievement: A multilevel propensity score model approach. Journal of School Psychology, 51, 611-624.

Pasi, R. J. (2001). Higher expectations: Promoting social emotional learning and academic achievement in your school. New York, NY: Teachers College Press.

Payton, J. W., Wardlaw, D. M., Graczyk, P.A., Bloodworth, M. R., Tompsett, C. J., Weissberg, R. P. (2000). Social and emotional learning: A framework for promoting mental health and reducing risk behavior in children and youth. Journal of School Health, 70 (5), 179-185.

Terzian, M. A., Andrews, K. M., & Moore, K. A. (2011). Preventing multiple risky behaviors among adolescents: Seven strategies. Retrieved from http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Child_Trends-2011_10_01_RB_RiskyBehaviors.pdf

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse. (2011). Adolescent substance use: America's #1 public health problem. Retrieved from http://www.centeronaddiction.org/addiction-research/reports/adolescent-substance-use

UNICEF. (2006). Behind closed doors: The impact of domestic violence on children. Retrieved from http://www.unicef.org/media/files/BehindClosedDoors.pdf

Weissberg, R. P., & Cascarino, J. (2013). Academic learning + social-emotional learning= national priority. Retrieved from http://static1.squarespace.com/static/513f79f9e4b05ce7b70e9673/t/52e9ce21e4b0ac9708 20f94d/1391054369190/weissberg-cascarino-phi-delta-kappan.pdf

Weissberg, R. P., & O'Brien, M. U. (2004). Creating connections for student success. Retrieved from https://static1.squarespace.com/static/513f79f9e4b05ce7b70e9673/t/526a22f3e4b0f35a9effc404/1382687475283/creating-connections-for-student-success.pdf

Zins, J. E., & Weissberg, R. P. (Ed.). (2004). Building academic success on social and emotional learning: What does the research say? New York, NY: Teachers College Press.

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Social-Emotional Learning and at-risk Children and Youth

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Yvonne I. Larrier, Indiana University South Bend; Tinisha Lewis, GCSCORED Inc., Caribbean. Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Yvonne Larrier, Counseling & Human Services Department, Indiana University South Bend, South Bend, IN 46615. E-mail: ylarrier@gcscored.com More and more, behaviors of children, youth, and communities are being classified as at-risk in societies locally and globally.

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How Teachers Can Help Students Co-Regulate Their Emotions in the Discipline Process | Edutopia

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Helping students regain their calm after misbehavior doesn't mean there are no consequences-it ensures that the right lesson is learned.

Jim West / Alamy Stock Photo

Our schools are currently seeing a dramatic increase in students of all ages carrying in anxiety, adversity, and trauma from a variety of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). Social and emotional learning programs are critical for addressing these emotional and mental challenges, but we must also rethink our discipline procedures and policies. We need to understand that traditional discipline works best with the children who need it the least, and works least with the children who need it the most. Discipline ideally is not something we do to students-it should be a quality we want to develop within them.

For students with ACEs, traditional punishments can unintentionally retraumatize and reactivate their stress response systems. Recent research in school discipline is grounded in the neuroscience of attachment, which emphasizes the significance of relationships. Those relationships begin with an adult in a regulated, calm brain state. It takes a calm brain to calm another brain-this co-regulation is something that students with ACEs may have missed out on. Their school can be an environment where they feel safe and connected even when they make poor choices.

This doesn't mean giving students a pass for misbehavior: There are still consequences for poor choices, but regulating the feelings and sensations a student is experiencing is the initial step, one that is critical for a sustainable change in behavior.

Emotions are contagious, and when a teacher is able to model a calm presence through their tone, facial expression, and posture, students are less likely to react defensively. When the teacher listens to what is beneath the behavior, focusing on the student's feelings, this type of validation says to the child that the teacher sees them and is trying to understand. When the teacher takes deep breaths, gets a drink of water, and creates space for reflection for a minute or two, they are modeling the regulation skills they want to see from students.

Co-Regulating Behavior With Students

If I'm the teacher, co-regulation-the process of helping a student who has made a poor choice of behavior to regain their composure-begins with the awareness of my own sensations and feelings when I am disciplining the student. It entails a willingness to regulate my own brain before I act on that discipline. Personally, I try to commit to three quick routines that feel doable to calm me in a short period of time: taking three deep breaths, texting a friend or pulling an affirmation from a prepared jar, and stretching and moving for a minute.

It's much better to wait for a few minutes when we're feeling irritated and angry before we discipline, and this is also excellent modeling for students. Students read our nonverbal communication, so paying attention to our facial expression and posture in addition to our tone of voice is critical when teaching the behaviors we want to see.

Focusing on the student's sensations and the feelings that lie beneath the behavior help us to understand the root causes and patterns of a behavior we might discover when there is rising irritation and anger. I may have a minute or two to redirect-by suggesting that the student go and get a drink of water or take a couple of deep breaths to calm down with me before we talk about the problem.

Creating a friend-in-need system could be helpful so each student has a buddy or even another adult in the building to go to when they begin to feel agitated. For the friend-in-need system, teachers ask students to select one or two peers or adults at the school who they trust and feel comfortable with if they need to take a break and be in another environment or talk through those challenging moments. This is preventative discipline and a way for students to have options when they begin to feel negative. These calming strategies are taught ahead of time and become a part of our procedures and classroom agreements or guidelines.

"That must feel awful."

"You seem really angry."

"You seem really frustrated."

"What a difficult situation you're in."

Validation is powerful way to calm an agitated and angry student. It's calming to be understood and felt by another. Some things you can say to help a student feel validated:

Validation opens the door for teacher and student to discuss choices and consequences and to create a plan of action for the next time there's a conflict.

I once heard that it is critical that a teacher's brain should resemble a thermostat rather than a thermometer when it comes to disciplining a student. What does this mean? Like a thermostat, the teacher needs to maintain a steady temperature throughout a moment of conflict, with a goal of creating conversation and a plan of action with a student who understands their choices and the consequences of those actions. The teacher needs to model the behaviors they want to see and to model self-care and respect during the discipline process.

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The Role of Emotion Co-Regulation in Discipline

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Helping students regain their calm after misbehavior doesn't mean there are no consequences-it ensures that the right lesson is learned.

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The Why, What, and How of Teaching Children Social Skills

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The Why, What, and How of Teaching Children Social Skills

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(2002). The Why, What, and How of Teaching Children Social Skills. The Social Studies: Vol. 93, No. 4, pp. 183-185.

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What’s Lost When We Rush Kids Through Childhood | Edutopia

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Erika Christakis is a former faculty member of the Yale Child Study Center and the author of the best-selling book The Importance of Being Little: What Young Children Really Need From Grownups. Christakis says that we've reached a perilous moment for very young kids: Increasingly we treat them as commodities and find ourselves "in danger of losing the child in childhood." Instead of imposing adult expectations, she argues, parents and teachers should try to "take their blinders off" and see the world through the eyes of young children-a change in perspective that might allow us to better understand and cultivate their unique abilities.

I recently had the opportunity to ask her about our evolving cultural values around childhood, what good early educational environments look like, and how we can resist the tendency to "adultify" young children. The interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Your book on early childhood education is called The Importance of Being Little. Why is "being little" so important? What do you want parents, educators, and policy makers to know about this developmental stage?
Traveling around the country, teaching and talking with parents and educators from a variety of backgrounds and environments, has persuaded me that we're in danger of losing the child in childhood. The notion that there is something of value in being a little kid-with little kid desires and, above all, needs-seems to have fallen out of favor. We talk about young children, increasingly, as commodities to "invest" in for future payoffs. Parents express enormous anxiety about their children's futures, and seem to be curating their children's life experiences in a way that would look quite unnatural and even rather joyless to previous generations.

There's a weird paradox that early childhood is both safe and stressful. On the one hand, for most children, especially in the industrialized world, the early years are safer than they've ever been in human history. Children have fewer fatal accidents and debilitating diseases. We don't send children down coal mines to work. Of course there is poverty, stress, and trauma-and some of these problems affect very large numbers of children-but in general terms, many of the big 'killers' of childhood have been vanquished.

On the other hand, 21st-century American society poses many challenges for young children too. Technology is not always a friend to the young, and there are new and troubling stresses. We have an actual epidemic of preschool expulsions, for example (which disproportionately affect children of color and boys), and increasing numbers of kids with mental health and behavioral challenges.

"Being little" is of critical importance because we see the signature of early childhood experience literally in people's bodies: their life expectancies are longer and their social-emotional capabilities are more robust when they have a chance to learn through play and through deep relationships, and when their developing brains are given the chance to grow in a nurturing, language-rich, and relatively unhurried environment. It's clearer than ever before that young children are not simply mini-adults.
Right, and you use the term "adultification" in your writing. How do you define adultification, and what does it reveal about how we think about childhood?
Adultification is the failure to see the world from a child's perspective.

I sometimes ask teachers to get down on the floor of their classroom and just look around from the height of a 4-year-old, or try to put on a snowsuit with the motor abilities of a young child. It's eye-opening to reflect on the many ways that adults inflict adult pacing, adult expectations, and adult schedules on young kids. And for what reason? Young children sleep less and have far more transitions in their days than in previous generations-and I think most educators and parents would agree that their developing brains aren't really designed to cope with adult schedules and pacing.

We all basically know this is a problem, but it's hard to break the cycle. We need to step back and see the world from a child's point of view. We see their development through an adult's eyes, imagining that we couldn't possibly learn anything from an hour digging in a container of mud, so it must be time to whip out the math worksheet! It boggles the mind how little outdoor time and gross motor play many young children have in their days.

Some of this adultification comes from an inattention to what makes little kids tick and a profound lack of faith in what young children are capable of.
What does high-quality early education look like? If you walked into a preschool that uses best practices, what would you see and hear?
Quality education is about relationships. Caring teachers who understand child development and who know and are attuned to the children in their care are far more important than many of the measures of quality we use today, such as class size, physical environments, or a specific curriculum.

Rich, open-ended conversation is critical, and children need time in the day to experience warm, empathic oral language-to converse with each other playfully, to tell a rambling story to an adult, to listen to high-quality literature and ask meaningful questions.

The research shows that quality caregivers know both the broad parameters of child development ("This is what a 3-year-old looks like") and know their children as individuals ("This is what this child is like").

But it's crucial to keep in mind that intentional, attuned teaching is the opposite of a free-for-all where children are running the show. Quality preschool teachers are intentional about everything they do: the classroom routines, the physical environment, the schedule, the types of materials they make available for children to explore and manipulate. These teachers do an extraordinary amount of observation and reflection-and it's really almost impossible to do that in a vacuum: the best preschools have collegial, inquiry-based cultures so that they can continually experiment with and modify their learning environments to take advantage of children's natural curiosity.

This is especially true for the many young children who have backgrounds of trauma and adverse childhood experiences. If a child walks in the door not having had anything to eat the night before-or maybe they are processing something positive, like welcoming a new sibling or a grandparent-the high-quality preschool classroom will have a mechanism to respond to those experiences and to channel them into cognitive and social-emotional growth.

Educators in these environments take as a starting point that children are fully capable of learning, and they refuse to let school or state mandates dictate how children learn.
You write a lot about the importance of play. How do you define play, and why is it so crucial?
Play is the defining feature of mammalian development: the impulse is hardwired into us and can't be suppressed. However, it's crucial that we recognize that while the play impulse is one thing, the play know-how-the nuts and bolts of playing-is not always so natural, and requires careful cultivation.

We're seeing more dysfunctional play in modern industrialized societies. Children don't play as much in mixed-age groups, where younger kids can learn from older ones, and the older children in turn have to learn to be gentle and fair with their littlest players. Children have less free time to mess around and make their own rules. They need the time and space to learn how to play effectively, and they require a culture that values play. Increasingly, we don't seem to have that kind of early childhood culture.

So if you suddenly tell a child to "go make a fort out of a cardboard box" when they haven't had a steady diet of free, unstructured time and access to open-ended materials, well, you will see a cranky and possibly incredulous child.
You've said, "The authentic early childhood curriculum isn't necessarily contained in the word we reflexively call 'preschool.' It doesn't need to be in a school at all." Would you explain what you mean by that?
Anyone who has seen the wonder on a child's face when they see a butterfly landing on a flower understands that learning goes far beyond a classroom.

The good news is that children are wired with the capacity for learning in almost any setting. With the loving support of responsive adults, they can learn without the bells and whistles of what we call preschool.

So much learning comes about naturally from what scientists call the serve-and-return style of communication between an adult and young child, which others have referred to as a conversational "duet." There's a lot of evidence that we can close some of the gaps between lower-income children's academic trajectories and those of higher-income families by coaching parents and educators to use this approach in their everyday interactions with children. I often coach teachers to ask open-ended questions such as "Tell me about your drawing," rather than "checking" questions like "What color is the apple?" or "What are you drawing?" The open-ended response really opens up a huge space for spontaneous and deep learning.

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What's Lost When We Rush Kids Through Childhood

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Erika Christakis is a former faculty member of the Yale Child Study Center and the author of the best-selling book The Importance of Being Little: What Young Children Really Need From Grownups. Christakis says that we've reached a perilous moment for very young kids: Increasingly we treat them as commodities and find ourselves "in danger of losing the child in childhood."

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Why Recess Should Never Be Withheld as Punishment | Edutopia

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According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, recess is " crucial and necessary" for a child's development and should never be withheld to make room for more academics or as punishment. On top of the health benefits, recess also enhances creative thinking, focus, and social skills like cooperation and sharing.

Interested in reading the research? Here's a list of the papers and studies we cited in the video:

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Why Recess Should Never Be Withheld as Punishment

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According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, recess is " crucial and necessary" for a child's development and should never be withheld to make room for more academics or as punishment. On top of the health benefits, recess also enhances creative thinking, focus, and social skills like cooperation and sharing.