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Appendix 4

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Appendix 5a - Nude Painting Close Ups

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Feminist performance artist, Louise Orwin, researched the common social behaviours teenage girls receive on social media. Amongst her research, girls as young as 10 years old were questioning their attractiveness online.

Orwin noted how she merely wanted to take "the audience on a journey of my research" (BuzzCut.2014:1:36). This made me consider the message of my piece. One of the largest challenges with my performance was knowing who Eryn was so nervously speaking to. Amongst my own age-group, sexual liberation/shame is not a taboo topic. So why is Eryn so afraid to be honest?

I returned to my own experiences, and recognised the extreme Catholic ideology I was raised with infected me with guilt when practising self-autonomy, leading me to extreme behaviours alike the ones Orwin describes (yet subsequently followed by more religious guilt).

I decided Eryn was talking to a parent, and the participant was to use this information to intensify their chosen questions.

Harking back to Kafka's Monkey, the theme of psychological abuse and environmental influences was the major undercurrent of my piece. Messages Paper Paranoia is illuminating, are cold attitudes like:

“We should not be surprised that one girl, unable to live with her prostituted image, has committed suicide."  (Scruton,R.2009.CatholicEducationResourceCentre)

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Appendix 6a - First Filming Take

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Scratch Night Filming First Take - Initial Reaction to Questions

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Background Art Credit: Kate Hush Neon Artist

Buren, J. Lunde, C (2018). 'Sexting Among Adolescents: a Nuanced and Gendered Online Challenge for Young People'. Research Gate: Computers in Human Behaviour. DOI: 10.1016/j.chb.2018.02.003
Last Accessed: 25.02.2021

Canetto, S.S (2008). 'Women and Suicidal Behaviour: A Cultural Analysis'. Research Gate: American Journal of Orthopsychiatry. DOI: 10.1037/a0013973
Last Accessed: 25.02.2021

Canetto, S.S. Sakinofsky, I (1998). 'The Gender Paradox in Suicide'. Research Gate: Suicide and Life-Threatening Behaviour.
Last Accessed: 25.02.2021

Ellison, M.S (2009). 'Autobiography and Performance (review)' John Hopkins University Press. Volume 62, No 2. DOI: 10.1353/tj.0.0195
Last Accessed: 25.02.2021

Kahm, S,E (2017). 'Catholic Girls All Grown Up: A Practical Theological Exploration of Sexuality Formation in Young Adult Women'. Electronic Theses and Dissertations. 1288. University of Denver.

Lathrop, G, Sutton, O.D. 'Elements of Mise-En-Scene'
Last Accessed: 25.02.2021

Messinger, K (2016). 'Sex, Drugs and Tweezers: Artist Erin M. Riley Tackles Feminism and Sex Through Tapestry' Paper Magazine
Last Accessed: 25.02.2021
Website: https://www.papermag.com/erin-m-riley-weaves-sexts-into-art-1894522760.html

Teevan, C (2009). 'Kafka's Monkey'. Oberon Books: London.

Scruton, R (2009). 'Sextants and Sexting: The problem remains for the majority of teenagers, who are left to their own devices, which turn out to be the vices of their devices'. Catholic Education Resource Centre.
Last Accessed: 25.02.2021
Website: https://www.catholiceducation.org/en/marriage-and-family/sexuality/sextants-and-sexting.html

Sreekumar, J (2015). 'Creating Meaning Through Interpretations: A  Mise-En-Scene Analysis of the Film 'The Song of Sparrows'. Research Gate
Last Accessed: 25.02.2021

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I felt incredibly vulnerable showcasing my Scratch Night; not only because I was stripping bare one of my greatest fears, but I was also unsure whether the message was clear.

Thankfully, with the prompt "who is the protagonist speaking to?" my peers were incredibly analytical when watching - which is the mindset my piece needs.

Considering a lot of thought went into who Eryn was talking to, I was pleasantly surprised to see so many interpretations from my audience; from God, to a weirdo online to my inner-self; each interpretation bought a new perspective of what an outsider assumes from such power-dynamics. They were surprised yet understanding upon discovering it was a parent; the conversation appeared as "grooming" according to one viewer which emotionally threw me since this is based on the real.

I was uncertain if the highly-edited cinematography was too disorientating, yet viewers confirmed it created the intended voyeurism of, "I almost feel like I shouldn't be watching" (Tisa Response).

In regard to constructive criticism, peers were curious of how it could be staged - or if it should be considering its suitability to screen. If I were to stage it, I would use various projections to layer up multiple screens and text-boxes over my virtual and live face (similar to Orwin's digital exploration in Pretty Ugly). The washing-lines of light and nudity would encompass most of the space with even more layers of images, making it grander and almost distracting from the conversation as the lighting states change.

The prospect of making Paper Paranoia into a live-art performance piece excites me both as an artist and as a storyteller with a deeply layered and shared phenomena to explore.

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Appendix 6b - The Final Cut

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'Paper Paranoia' - Filmed Scratch Night Performance

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I initially wanted to live-stream my piece using OBS and have someone participate live as the texter. Unfortunately, it lagged so severely that any improvisational quality would have been obscured. Instead, I filmed segments separately and combined them using editing software: DaVinci Resolve. My first take was the most authentic improvisation however, I've only used a fragment in the final cut due to the set being too exposed -  also, I enjoyed the voyeurism of the various camera-angles hanging over Eryn like a guilty conscious in the final cut (appendices 6a/b).

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Appendix 5b - Set Close-Ups with Red, Fairy and Black lights.

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Erin M. Riley

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Development of Paper Paranoia -Feminist Art

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Development of Paper Paranoia -Feminist Art

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When painting the nude body, I used feminist art as reference; very quickly it switched from an anxiety-inducing activity to empowering. I was inspired by Erin M. Riley, a tapestry artist who wove a series on sexting.

The effort of harnessing paint-strokes (appendices 5a/b) or wool-weaves into an explicit image can transform it from trashy to playful. I used such notions within my improvised narrative as Eryn, disguising her 'X-rated compulsion' as 'art' controlled by herself alone. Unfortunately, the UV messages within the paintings say otherwise.

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Writing Exercises - Advice you would give yourself 5 years ago

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Writing Exercises - Advice you would give yourself 5 years ago

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The result of various writing exercises were the catalyst to addressing this issue. But I was tired of the self-punishment from remembering my mistakes and my home-life at the time. Two studies suggest that adolescents with "poor family relations and lower family cohesion are related to an increased likelihood of sexting"  (Buren,J.Lunde,C.2018:6),
(Jonsson,Bladh,Priebe,Svedin.2015). Though research is slim, this statement resonated with me and perhaps countless others, providing this experience a worthy one to share.

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I was uncomfortable with creating another autobiographical piece considering I previously created a Stand-Up performance about sexual assault. However, it occurred to me that autobiographical work does not need to be about me alone:

"autobiographical performance [as] a broad term which encompasses examples of solo autobiographical work, community and applied drama, oral narrative and oral history performance, verbatim drama, documentary drama, testimonial performance, performance art and instances of site-specific and time based practice" (Ellison,M,S.2009:344)

During a workshop with performance artist Demi Nandhra, we discussed how autobiographical work is not blowing your trumpet or playing a victim, but is an open space where dishonour could become understanding. She insisted that you must consider "Where do I sit in relation to the world? Does the world need this story?" (Nandhra,D.2020) when creating art in response to a personal experience (appendix 4).

I know students who live in fear of their naked ticking-time-bombs blowing up in their cyber faces. The anxiety of who still has their images and who indeed deleted. Fearmongering never worked, but it haunts them now debilitating their self-esteem, fearful of success.

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Appendix 2-  Swimming Pool Home Movie 4:42

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Appendix 1a-  Paper Paranoia 3:47

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Appendix 1c-  Paper Paranoia 7:01

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Appendix 2-  Swimming Pool Home Movie 4:21

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Appendix 1b-  Paper Paranoia 5:12

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Appendix 3 - (Teevan,C.2009:16)

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Originally a story called A Report to an Academy by German Author Franz Kafka (1883-1924), Kafka's Monkey is a play written by Colin Teevan, directed by Walter Meierjohann and starring Kathryn Hunter.

The themes of abuse and fear leading one to finally become human was one that particularly struck me (appendix 3).

Paper Paranoia considers the social growing pains of puberty into adulthood, and the uncertainty with autonomy and who is in control. With Kafka's Monkey, the protagonist had to follow the social cues of the brutish humans in their life in the hope of 'progression', even if it meant corrupting a sense of innocence it once had.

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Her Story, developed by video game designer Sam Barlow, is an interactive, live-action crime-fiction game.

The player interacts with a police database and must search for matching key-phrases in order to discover interviews about a woman's experience. Events only thread together clearly if you discover particular footage, leading you to solve the crime or not.

Improvisational compulsive lying was a narrative tool I enjoyed the prospect of. The audience probing the protagonist for the truth with multiple-choice questions was inspired by this interactive game. Similar to the typing of 'key-phrases' into the database, the audience would better uncover Eryn's story upon asking her trigger questions, including "Can I trust you?" and "photos of yourself?", even if it takes repeat performances.

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Her Story Trailer - Out Now on All Platforms!

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Thusly, streamed theatrical productions have evolved the way we look at film and live-art; they can be symbiotic. My main pieces of inspiration were not always typical streamed theatre productions...

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Annual TV Broadcasts to Instant Online Streaming

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Annual TV Broadcasts to Instant Online Streaming

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We were required to create a 6–9-minute Scratch Night performance, and due to COVID-19, we had online/video restrictions. While filming theatre productions is no new feat – considering as early as 1998 ITV would broadcast seasonal Pantomimes – with the growth of the online format websites such as Digital Theatre emerged in 2009. If you pay or are part of an educational institution, you may re-live productions (partnered with companies like the RSC, The Old Vic and Frantic Assembly) in HD, framed with filmic cinematography. However, since COVID-19 such methods have been utilized further with The National Theatre at Home re-streaming productions on YouTube for a limited time, consequently expanding the viewership upon theatre as a significant art-form in our cybernated era.

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Sleepwalk Collective - Swimming Pools Home Movie

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Sleepwalk Collective - Swimming Pools Home Movie

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Swimming Pools Home Movie is a short film in response to COVD-19 by Spanish Theatre Company, Sleepwalk Collective, an award-winning live-art, experimental theatre company.

I was greatly inspired by the mise-en-scene in Swimming Pools Home Movie. The wide use of digital and colour experimentation paralleled with the on-screen text was an integral inspiration for my piece (scroll to appendices 1 and 2) in regard to themes of online messaging and unveiling subtext through visuals.

Changes of lighting hues are a shared feature between our pieces. In my case, it was to reveal the emotional subtext Eryn was feeling:

First in darkness to keep Eryn's shame in secrecy, then the layering of black-lights to reveal toxic UV messages in the images - drawing influence from forensic lamps - and exposing anxiety marks printed on pulse-points with glowing paint (appendix 1b).

My choice of reflective glasses also provides a layering of light and screens, obstructing the emotion in my eyes, further mystifying the truth.

Red light washes at the question "Have things gone too far" (appendix 1c) broadcasting her mortification. Additional influences of a 'photographers dark room' and the Amsterdam Red Light District synergised with the theme of internet porn and sexting.

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" When your data is drowned amongst the masses, what is the use in fearing a paper-trail?

Eryn fears that living a moral life means living passively, yet the ghosts of her embarrassment linger awaiting to pounce full-frontal on a day when it counts the most.

How long can you talk around the truth when 'God' is not your only judge?
Either let judgement consume you, or get it on your side. "