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Personal na dumanas din ako ng mga pambubully, pinagbubulongan at pinagtatawanan! Mukhang alien, multo, at may cancer. Iyak lang ako nang iyak sa bawat sandali, ang matalik na kaibigan ko lang ang aking kinakausap, at awa ang nararamdaman sa pamilya. Inilihim ko rin kasi sa iba ang aking alopecia. Natakot din kasi ako sa pag-aakalang ako lang meron nito sa mundo, at baka nakakahawa ito.

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May laya akong nakapiit sa nilikha, giniba, at nilikha nating daigdig; Pag-ibig!
At, sa buhay na ito ang aking kasiyahang BATTLECRY; MAHALIN, MAGMAHAL, MAGPALAYA!

- Perlito Magsino Jr.

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Alopecia Buhok nawala Awa ang nadarama Dasal sa Lumikha’y tanggapin nawa Areata Sa ulo ay pumilat Hugis-bilog na poknat Sa isapa’y nagluwat Supota’y kaakibat Totalis Tuluyang pagkakalbo Tinago ng sumbrelo Ang tumagos sa puso’y Siglang hugot sa kuwento Universalis Pagkawala ng buhok Sa lawak ‘di maarok Kaluluwa’y nanghimok Aral sa kapuwa’y alok

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Naaalala ko pa noong Setyembre 21, 2012 o 2013 wari ko, naghanap ako ng posibleng grupo na maaari kong salihan. Natuwa ako nang matagpuan ko ang support group na Alopecia Philippines. Itinaguyod ng magandang mangangawit na si Bb. Abby Asistio. Pinaplano noon ang darating na Annual Gathering para sa Alopecia Awareness sa Buwan ng Setyembre at ako na ang nag-volunteer para sa simulang panalangin. Simula noong nahanap ko ang grupo na ito ay lagi ko nang naiibigang lumuwas ng Maynila upang dumalo ng mga core-group meeting, get-together, gathering, ma-feature sa mga exhibit, performance art, spoken poetry, photoshoot, documentary, thesis, interview sa TV para mag-invite, at music video (More Than My Hair ni Abby Asistio). Doon na rin nagsimula ang pagiging bahagi ko sa adbokasiya, pasyon, at padayon sa mga samu’t-saring proyekto ng grupo na may kinalaman sa Alopecia. Naramdaman kong mayroon akong layang ibahagi na libre ang awareness, para makasagip. Sa wari ko, mas naging makulay, makabuluhan, puno ng paglalakbay, natulungang estudyante sa thesis, maraming aral na natutuhan, at isinabuhay kabila ng Alopecia Universalis ko.

Kalbo man ako, hindi naman ito kabawasan sa aking pagkatao. Mapalad pa rin kasi ako, personal kong naranasan na magkabuhok, samantalang yung iba, sanggol o bata pa lang ay hindi nakaranas na magkabuhok. At, buhok lamang ‘to, uulitin ko, hindi kailanman kakulangan sa aking pagkatao.

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Noong akong nabigyan ng ikalawang pagkakataon para makapag-aral sa Kolehiyo, sa todo suporta ng aking pamilya at sa pagiging iskolar ng banda ng unibersidad (MSEUF Chamber Winds). Ang buhok pa rin ay usapin kasi dapat daw ay presentable. Sa pagpupursige, summer ng 2014 grumadweyt ako sa kolehiyo sa kursong Bachelor of Science in Psychology, napahaba ko ang buhok ko hanggang sa balikat. Sa sarili’y may kakuntentohan, tuwa at saya. Noong Disyembre 31, 2014 nagpasya akong magskinhead na kasi maligaya na ako sa aking nakamit.

Ang malikhaing pagsusulat ng mga tula, awit, at iba pa marahil nga ang nakapagpanumbalik ng kumpiyansa ko sa sarili, pagiging positibo, progresibo’t produktibong tao, bilang manggagawang-kultural, at alagad ng lokal na musika at sining. Nagbukas ang pahina at telon sa tulong ng Kataga: (samahan ng mga manunulat sa Pilipinas), Lucena Panitik, at Lucena-Tanghal. Ako po ay naging aktibong artista sa Teatro;  wala man akong trabaho, o may trabaho ako. Kailangan ng kaluluwa ko ‘to. Oks kasi in-karakter naman ako sa mga naging role ko sa mga play, o dulang-tanghalan. Di ko na inisip na may alopecia ako. Iniiwan ko muna ang bigat ng mga bagahe, o pasang-krus sa buhay kung may pagtatanghal – ito marahil ang aking calling.

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College na ako, mga 16 taon-gulang. Unang check-up ko sa Derma sa OPD sa Philippine General Hospital, may kamag-anak sa Sampaloc, Manila na tumulong. Pagsubok din ang pagluwas sa Maynila dahil sa malayo, gastos sa pamasahe at pagkaligaw kasama ko ang aking nanay.  Sa PGH ako na-diagnose noon ng Alopecia Areata. Mga topical solution, cream o lotion ang ipinahid ko sa ulo para mapigilan ang pagkakalbo, base sa reseta. Nagpaalbularyo ako, may nakagusto raw sa aking diwata, o engkanto. Suplado raw kasi ako kaya ako pinarusahan. Wala naman basehan kung syang tunay nga ang istorya. Nguni’t hindi natutukan masyado ang pagpapagamot, hanggang sa natuluyan na ang aking pagkakalbo, at pati kilay ko apektado. Alopecia Totalis na pala yung dinaranas ko. Dumating sa puntong, naghila ako ng buhok ko, at nagbunot ako ng kilay ko, animo’y literal na nagsusunog ng kilay ko, para lang magpantay ito dahil sa halata sa salamin, at litrato. Sobrang nagself-pitty ako, itinago ko ang sitwasyon ko sa mga kakilala, kaibigan at maging sa dating nobya ko. Nag-isolate, nagka-inferiority complex, naging distant at nag-withdrawal ako sa society. Naglahong parang bula na ang akala ng iba, ako’y expired na. Nagpasya na rin akong magshave o razor ng buhok, o skinhead ako kahit malungkot. Huminto na rin ako sa pag-aaral ng mga panahong yun sa Bachelor of Science in Nursing kasi hindi na rin naman ako pumapasok sa klase dahil sa nahihiya ako. Maraming pagtatangka,  hanggang sa tuloyan nang sumuko para sa pangarap ng pamilya ko na makapagtapos ako sa kolehiyo.

Takot akong dumungaw sa may bintana, sumilip sa may pinto, at tingnan ang sarili sa salamin. Tameme, tamlay, at tulala akong bumubuhos na lang ang luha kung kakausapin. Para bang ang alopecia ko ay pana-panahon. May taglagas, at tagsibol.

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Noong elementary at highschool, malimit na akong pag-initan ng mga teacher, at guidance counselor dahil sa longhair ko. May puntong muntik na akong hindi makapagsulit sa finals kasi si titser, gusto’y bagong gupit. At, noong praktis na ng highschool graduation, may titser na pinapalayas ako sa pila kasi raw hindi ako bagay doon dahil sa hitsura ng aking buhok. Naka-gradweyt naman ako pero lingid sa aming kaalaman na alopecia na pala ‘to. Dahil sa taga-probinsya nga kami, malayo sa siyudad. Hindi naming alam ang napaka-rare na sakit (autoImmune disorder) na ito, inaatake raw ng killer cells ang mga healthy cells kaya raw naaapektuhan ang hair follicle, dahilan ng pagkalagas ng buhok, o pagkakalbo.

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Ang alopecia ko ay nagsimula noong teenager pa lamang ako. Mga 15 taong gulang o 3rd year high school wari ko ako nun. Ngayon, 34 taong gulang na ako at halos 20 na taon na ang bakas ng lumipas. Nang magpa-clean cut ako sa barbero sa aming lugar, pagka-razor niya’y naramdam ko sa parteng batok na para bang napaso sa init ang buhok ko, at nakita ko sa salamin sa likuran na may patch, lepong o poknat na kasinglaki ng piso! Naikubli ko na lang ng sumbrelo, at brushed-up o medyo longhair pa istilo ng buhok ko. Bata pa lang, maalaga na ako sa buhok ko. Marami rin akong sinubukan na iba’t-ibang kulay at pangstraight ng buhok kasi noon. ‘Di alintana, hanggang sa lumala na ang aking alopecia, palipat-lipat ang spot, at nagmistulang mapa na ng Pinas ang aking buhok. Patlang-patlang, o hindi balanse pagtubo. Sa kaiisip, hirap na akong makatulog, ang pagkalagas ng buhok ko ay dire-diretso.

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UMALAGWA PAGBABAGO
Ang Mensahe Ko ng Bagong Pag-asa

Kumusta? Ako po si Perlito Magsino Jr. - Phyper, o Phyp!

Karaniwang-tao, mangingibig ng liwanag, kapayapaan, at pag-ibig! Ako ay taga-Lucena City, Quezon Province at aktibong kasapi ng Alopecia Philippines. Inakap, hinagkan, at tinanggap ko na sa buhay kong ‘to ang Alopecia Universalis ko. Base sa personal kong danas, “May panahon para bumitaw, at muling humataw! At, kung may pagkakataon at punto ka umalagwa, makakapagpalaya ka. At kapag pinasan mo na magaan ang kalbaryo, magsisilbi itong regalo.” Subali’t hindi naman naging ganoon kadali para sa akin, o instant ang proseso, progreso at pagbabago ko. Katulad ng buhok ko, sa pana-panahon, may taglagas at tagsibol.

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I used to focus on the negative aspects of alopecia, but over time, I've come to understand it and try to focus on the benefits—for one thing, it made me a stronger person. There may be a reason for all that happens to us. It could be excruciatingly painful and drastic, like when you lose something or someone dear to your heart. However, in the end, you come out victorious and a different person.

"As is a tale, so is life. Not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters." I know in a way that my “Autumn” will always be part of who I am now. I know that in every Autumn that will arise, there will always be Spring. I believe that my purpose is to remind people that it does not matter how different they are or what others may think of them. What really matters is that they believe in themselves and never lose faith.

- Miriam Grace Battad

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Meanwhile, all of my "hair" returned and has grown. I am glad to have it back. I was so down and embarrassed by my own personal appearance for what it was doing to me when my hair first began falling out. I was scared to tell anyone because of what they would think of me, but my thoughts on the subject evolved over time. As a result, I started to face my alopecia with courage and felt much better about myself. I can honestly say that things improved. Don't get me wrong, I still have bad days and challenges, but above all, I felt different and satisfied. It took me a long time to embrace my alopecia, and I'm still learning. But I honestly believe that happiness begins when there is acceptance of self and enjoyment of the way you are. Inner joy or you may call it, happiness, is the most beautiful experience in life.

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I ended up asking myself and God, “What is my life’s purpose?” I was advised that all problems have a solution or purpose. I felt like giving up on looking for answers so I focused on what my purpose in life might be. Then suddenly I tried to reach out to people whom I thought might also be feeling the same way. I looked for people and groups who were experiencing alopecia like me. Through this, I was blessed to know that I wasn’t the only one. I valued more of my time with my family. My parents and my partner were my helping hand. They helped me out of the water when I felt like I was drowning. Their support helped to bring me out of my depression. After some time, I was given the opportunity to talk about my story in different inspirational engagements and was also chosen to let my story be part of AV Faith Awards. It was a big accomplishment for me and my purpose was answered.

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Surprisingly, following the next few weeks, the balding patch on the left side of my head began to grow in size. I was scared! The patches continued to worsen- slowly but steadily! The gradual progression of my hair loss gave me a feeling of anxiety and confusion. It was exhausting as it occurred and progressed over many months. This aggravated my worries and stress. “How come I'm suffering through this?”,  I found myself worrying over and over again. I lost much of my body hair the year that followed, 2014. I always complained about why I lose my eyebrows and eyelashes more than my head hair! It is easier to hide hair loss with brilliant solutions like wigs and hair replacement systems, but there is still very little means to cover up the loss of eyebrows. I’m so grateful now I’m partly healed, satisfied with my daily makeup routine, and have perfected the art of applying eyelashes. Truly, it was Autumn in my body.

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My name is Miriam Grace Battad, an Inspirational Speaker and Special Education Teacher. My alopecia experience started when I was 30 years old. That was in 2013, around 8 years ago. I was surprised when I was running my fingers through my long and thick black hair, and I noticed a tiny bald spot on the back left side of my head. I looked through the mirror as soon as I got home from work that day, and the reflection confirmed that a circular bald patch was visible– it was very small, around the size of a golf ball. I brushed it aside. I started to search through Google theories and reasons why a 30-year-old lady with healthy hair like me was experiencing this type of hair loss. As one would predict from Google, there was a slew of different possibilities. As stated by the internet, alopecia areata is thought to be an autoimmune condition in which the body's immune system mistakenly attacks the hair follicles. Research suggests that both genetics and environmental factors play a role in developing it, but the exact cause isn't well understood.

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Ayzelle is very jolly, active and mingles easily with other kids. She uses wigs when going to school, mall,  and other places. Yes, we are still trying other means, hoping that her hair would continue to grow as well as boosting her immune system to keep her healthy.

As her family, we always tell her that she is beautiful and that we will always be beside her no matter what. The key, actually, was acceptance. We accepted that we cannot fully revert her condition but even so, we can make her feel that she is loved with or without hair.

- Mommy Ethel

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I have been researching about Alopecia and found a support group, ALOPECIA PHILIPPINES, which we joined last 2016. Ayzelle’s first activity with this group was a photo exhibit together with other alopecia members. During the shoot, she was shy and curious because she is seeing kids and adults with the same condition as hers. This was also an eye-opener for me and I got teary-eyed while hearing stories on how they are handling their condition. For her next activity, Ayzelle was also featured in Motorycle Diaries at the same year.  Ayzelle found another family and gained more confidence because she saw that she’s not the only one experiencing this battle. Last October 2019, she participated in Showtime’s segment Magpasikat particularly in Vice Ganda’s production highlighting an inspirational “hair story” for those who have Alopecia.  Even at such a young age, she willingly spreads awareness and hopes that everyone will accept little girls like her, more so, people with alopecia.

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We’ve been visiting her pediatrician and dermatologist religiously, hoping the medicines will boost her immune system. We have tried topical creams/solutions for hair growth. There are several times that her hair will grow but it will fall out again.

There was a time that I cried my heart out when I saw her cutting her Barbie doll’s hair. I asked her why she was doing it and she answered, looking at my eyes, “Mommy, is she not beautiful?” Then, I just realized what she was trying to say and I responded, “Yes, baby, she is."

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The Journey of Mommy Ethel and Baby Ayzelle

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The Journey of Mommy Ethel and Baby Ayzelle

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I am Ethel, a mom of a 9-year-old girl with alopecia named Ayzelle. My husband and I were not aware that our daughter has alopecia. She had thin hair and there were some spots without hair during her 1st year. That time, we thought it was just because of her sleeping position.

After a while, her hair started growing so we got very excited but before her 2nd birthday, we noticed that her hair and eyelashes began falling off. That was in 2013 and it was a really tough year for us, as she got hospitalized twice in December and we spent the New Year’s Eve there due to her asthma and measles. This was the start of our alopecia journey, not only for my daughter but for the whole family.

Everytime we go to the mall, people will look at her differently and sometimes, strangers will ask us if she has cancer. Some even suggested that Ayzelle should stay at home. As a mom, I hoped I could yell at them for judging my daughter's condition, but instead, I will answer them nicely, "it’s Alopecia”. Yes, some will say, it's just hair, it isn't a big deal. Personally, I believe this notion exists because majority of Filipinos are not yet aware of what Alopecia is.