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Week 1: 11/30- page 1-156
Week 2: 12/7- page 157-226
Week 3: 12/14- page 227-302

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When reading nonfiction, I enjoy books that have elements of a story that is intertwined with facts. I often lean towards memoirs. When I found Confessions of A Sociopath, it seemed to be the perfect mix between personal experience and scientific fact. In this novel, M.E Thomas describes her experience living with sociopathy while also explaining what sociopathy truly is, and how it is much more common than one would have ever thought.

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"It's so small that she doesn't recognize it until she's close-a baby opossum...the poor thing must have fallen into the pool in the night...She grabs a net and heads toward the opossum...the net lowers, dipping into the surface of the water...With a quick, almost effortless movement, the net drags the opossum under the surface until its head is fully submerged." (page 2)

M.E Thomas opens her book by describing her life as if it were "a television show". She is the "she" mentioned above. In this passage, Thomas describes how she drowned a baby opossum in her pool instead of rescuing it in order to get out of her swimming lesson later that afternoon. Thomas opens with this story to instill emotion in the readers, as anyone would feel a sense of sadness when learning that a baby opossum had drowned. She also does this as a form of ethos; she wants to appear a credible sociopath. The lack of emotion she portrays in this story provides reliability that she is truly a sociopath, and therefore a credible source of information. She fails to feel the guilt that most others would feel, and she makes choices out of mere self interest. Describing the drowning of the opossum as "effortless" signifies that there was no second thought when it came to letting the animal die. Thomas must gain the trust of her readers in order to really tell her story, and she uses this opening story to do so.

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"I love the way Cleckley describes her idiosyncrasies: the accent, her artlessness, her eternal youthfulness, her attractiveness that seems to be something more than beauty, her intelligence, and her charm." (page 34-35)

Idiosyncrasy: (noun) a mode of behavior or way of thought peculiar to an individual.
Example: An idiosyncrasy of hers was that she always had to turn all of the lights off before she left the house;  she was scared that they could cause a fire.

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"Whenever suspected sociopaths write to me and ask whether they should get tested, I almost always tell them no. It's just too risky. Because there is no real treatment, the only upside to a formal diagnosis is a peace of mind, that you know who you are. The downside is having a major blemish on your life record that could affect every aspect of your life, should it fall into the wrong hands." (page 56)

In this section of the book, M.E Thomas mainly focuses on the science and studies that surround sociopathy. She speaks of several psychologists and their views on sociopathy. Later, Thomas speaks of her experience getting tested for sociopathy. This passage is one of her responses to the test. I think Thomas' inclusion of the "upsides" and "downsides" of being diagnosed as a sociopath is very powerful. The fact that the only upside of being diagnosed is a "peace of mind" seems wildly insignificant when placed next to the downside; your entire life could be ruined due to this diagnosis. M.E Thomas states this plainly, not overly emphasizing one side over the other. Thomas' choice to place these two sentences directly after each other further provides contrast between both "sides" of getting tested, as the downsides look noticeably worse when placed to upside, and the upside seems insignificant when placed next to the downside. This direct and blunt tone also displays the differences between the two sides. The fact that merely getting tested is described as a "risk" by Thomas also displays the flaws in the stigma of mental health. People should have the right to know who they truly are, and getting tested or diagnoses should not be a "risk".

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"Today psychologists and criminologists are occupied with the same conundrum with which the Inuit and Yoruba dealt with through discreet homicide..." (page 45)

Conundrum: (noun) a confusing or difficult problem or question
Example: The parents were faced with the conundrum of how to tell their children that Santa Claus was not real.

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"For lack of better words, I would describe the adult Jim as fragile...He acts like an abused dog that has been kicked one too many times in the stomach to feel at ease around strangers. Despite intensive therapy, he still can't seem to keep it together and will lash out in passive-aggressive ways or retreat completely, leaving a shell of himself behind. When I look at him I sometimes wonder, is this what empath M.E would have looked like?" (page 59-60)

In this section of the book, M.E Thomas speaks of her childhood and family life. It turns out, she did have a troubled childhood, with an abusive father and mother that often hid in the shadows. However, Thomas found comfort in her older brother Jim. She had a soft spot for Jim, who was sensitive, fragile, and easily exploited. In this passage, Thomas asks herself that if she was not a sociopath, would she have been like Jim? Although both Thomas and Jim were real people, I see this as almost a character foil. They are polar opposites; Jim overly empathic and easily exploited, and Thomas, manipulative and interested only in self gain. The two compliment each other's qualities, and because of this, they build a strong relationship that M.E Thomas speaks of throughout the rest of the book. Thomas' simile, comparing Jim to an abused dog, is an efficient way of revealing just how fragile Jim is to readers, and the use of the abused dog also displays Thomas's sociopathic nature, as most people would hesitate when comparing a loved one to an abused dog.

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"I was full of a teenager's petulance and contrariness mixed with a little more intelligence and cruelty than the average kid." (page 81-82)

Petulance: (noun) the quality of being childishly sulky or bad-tempered
Example:  The child's petulance showed as he began to scream and cry when his mother told him to finish his vegetables.

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"Have you ever picked a scab? Or poked at a tender tooth? Probed a sore muscle? There's something exploratory about it, and I was this way with my friends' insecurities. They fascinated me. I have never had an insecurity." (page 103)

M.E Thomas displays qualities of a true sociopath in this quote. It seems impossible to live a life free of insecurities; everybody has them, and they infringe on one's self confidence. Thomas recognized this concept, and was fascinated because she didn't understand it. In this section, Thomas included stories about how she has used the insecurities of others as a mean of manipulation for self gain. However, it is important that she included the line "I have never had an insecurity" because it differentiates her from a bully, or truly mean person. She may be mean, but her sociopathy is responsible for her inability to empathize. Because she knows that many readers will not understand her fascination in inflicting pain, she compares it to other, more common, scenarios. This was an important addition because it provides relatability between her and readers.  Her use of questions when making these comparison creates a personal aspect in this passage because it feels that Thomas is speaking directly to the readers.

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"The gaggles of interns and doctors make their rounds, pulling curtains to examine and catalog flaccid, damaged flesh connected to tubes and machines- cyborgs in clinical phantasmagoria." (page 113)

Phantasmagoria: (noun) a sequence of real or imaginary images like those seen in a dream
Example: The fisherman thought he saw a dark shadow moving through the water underneath his boat, but he soon realized it was just a phantasmagoria.

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"People were trying to out-'good' each other to the point of absurdity. It was unnatural. And it's not godlike, I thought. A God would not give up an advantage for no reason. A god would cultivate his power, just like I do." (page 132)

M.E Thomas was a devote Mormon throughout her life. However, in this quote, she notices the foolish nature of many of her Mormon acquaintances. The Mormon religion emphasizes kindness, and a lack of selfishness. However, Thomas sees flaws in this emphasize, as kindness appears to get people no where, and most of it is phony. Furthermore, Thomas even believes it is "not god-like". This belief is very interesting, and further displays Thomas's distinct views. Most people view God as a figure that loves everyone, and will forgive even the worst of sinners. However, Thomas views God as a power-hungry figure. Thomas's choice to use the word "cultivate" was very interesting, as I associate the growing of crops with cultivation. This word choice adds to the passage because it seems to mean that gods hope to increase and strengthen their power, just as crops grow and strengthen during cultivation. The fact that Thomas compares herself to a power-hungry god further displays her narcissistic nature.

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"My lack of reaction must have seemed like intransigence, which he hoped to break by beating me just a little bit harder." (page 145)

Intransigence: (noun) refusal to change one's views or to agree about something
Example: When it came to politics, Fred had a sense of intransigence; no matter how valid someone else's point was, he refused to change his views.

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"I play off the one thing that you can always trust people to respond to- their fear. And I am like a cancer-sniffing dog when it comes to finding exactly which buttons to press to tap in to someone's ready supply of fear." (page 175)

Thomas's use of a simile is significant in this particular passage. She compares her ability to determine a person's fear to that of a trained dog's ability to sniff out cancer. Not only is this comparison effective in displaying Thomas's point, but it also has a very sociopathic tone.  Her comparison of fear to cancer seems extremely dark, as cancer is deadly and an awful disease that many people prefer not to discuss. However, this brutally honest comparison does have some truth to it. Fear can be debilitating, and just as a cancer sniffing dog's success will forever debilitate a cancer victim's life, the ability for someone to easily determine one's fears provides them the ability to use these fears against you, which is arguably as equally debilitating. On another note, it should be noticed that this is Thomas's second use of a dog when making a sociopathic comparison. Although this may be coincidental, does M.E Thomas somehow associate sociopathy with canines?

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"Jane had obtained-in answer to all her dreams and as a result of her unimpeachable assiduousness- a modicum of power in her office, having satisfactorily worked for one of the more powerful attorneys at the firm." (page 163)

Assiduous: (noun) showing great care and perseverance
Example: His assiduous nature allowed him to efficiently complete even the hardest of tasks, and he did so to the best of his ability.

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"Like the revolutionary army fighting the redcoats, I lure my enemy from their comfort zones and ambush them with my own strengths; reading people, seeing flaws or areas of possible exploitation in a system, and thinking outside the box." (page 195-196)

In this section of the novel, M.E Thomas speaks of her career as a lawyer, and how sociopathy has benefitted her in this high-stakes profession. She opens this passage using a simile, comparing her ability to lure her "enemy", or most likely her opponent in court, and ambush them to that of the patriots in the revolutionary war. Personally, I do not think this simile was effective as it did not contribute to Thomas' purpose and overall seemed quite childish.  Her overarching point in this passage was interesting though. She utilizes her own strengths to instill discomfort in others. This quality highlights the sociopathic narcissism Thomas frequently speaks of. I find it interesting that Thomas is able to create a mind game out of almost every task, but this is most likely the reason she is so successful in all that she does; she sees things in a completely different and abnormal light. Overall, this quote lacks sophistication but still did contribute to building Thomas's sociopathic character.

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"By my second year at my first teaching job, my class enrollment doubled as students raved about my ability to make even the most esoteric subjects relatable." (page 186-187)

Esoteric: (adj) intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest
Example: The club was esoteric, as only initiated members knew the meaning behind the club's name and what occurred at its meetings.

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"Even after Tin Woodman gets his version of one [a heart], he has to be very careful not to cry lest his tears cause him to rust. A heart can be paralyzing in its way. It is not at all clear that the Tin Woodman is happier or better after he receives one." (page 201)

At the beginning of this section, M.E Thomas compares herself to the Tin Woodman, from The Wizard of Oz. The Tin Woodman was once a normal man, but was then turned to tin and did not receive a prosthetic heart. In many ways, he was better off made out of tin, but he believed that his greatest loss was the loss of his heart. Thomas relates to this, as she often wishes to feel love and understand true emotions, but she recognizes the pain that accompanies emotion. The inclusion of this comparison   creates a sense of sadness in the reader, as I began to pity Thomas because although she lacks emotion, she still feels lonely, just like the Tin Woodman. In this selected quote, Thomas notes the irony in Tin Woodman's situation once he did receive a heart. He could now feel love again, but whenever he felt the pain that accompanied emotion, his tears would cause him to rust. In this case, emotions were literally paralyzing. This comparison was extremely effective in conveying Thomas's point that with emotions, there are both benefits and consequences, and she truly struggles in determining whether she would have been better off an empath, or is better off as a sociopath.

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"As I have grown older, music has played a different role in my life, offering an avenue of human interaction with other musicians that is devoid of guile or artifice."  (page 223)

Guile: (noun) sly or cunning intelligence
Example: Although he did not apply himself in school, his exceptional guile often got him out of lots of trouble.

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"People are so hungry for love; they die a little everyday for want of it- for want of touch and acceptance. And to become someone's narcotic I found immensely satisfying." (page 233)

In this part of the book, M.E Thomas explains her love life. As she got older, she realized that love provided her with the ability to seduce, which she often used as a form of manipulation and exploitation. In the beginning of this quote, she uses figurative language. She states that people are "hungry for love". However, love is not something that can literally be eaten, so this in a way is a form of personification. Thomas's use of this phrasing emphasizes the nature of the want and need of love, comparing it to that of food, which is necessary for survival. In some ways, love is also necessary for survival, and throughout this section of the book Thomas recognizes that. Also, at the same time, Thomas compares love to a drug, stating that when giving love to other people, they view her as their "narcotic," which, due to her narcissistic nature, she finds satisfying. The use of this comparison is also true, because love is often addicting. However, Thomas's use of these two comparisons involving love seem to contradict each other; she compares love to food, something that is a life necessity, yet also compares love to drugs, which have the ability to ruin one's life. However, this is true. Love is something that is needed to provide happiness, yet also has the ability to ruin lives.

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"This was in the midst of my ostracization, when the other students in my program had decided to  have nothing to do with me after I had read that girl's diary." (page 257)

Ostracize: (verb) to exclude, by general consent, from society, friendship, conversation, privileges, etc
Example: After the senior was caught skipping school for no good reason, the administration decided to ostracize him of his senior privileges for the rest of the semester.

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"My most salient worry would not be how they treat the world, but how the world would treat them. Would they be outsiders or outcasts? I would hate for them to feel compelled to go underground, never to find acceptance for who they are, to be regarded as hollow, unfinished people- or even the embodiment of evil." (page 273)

In this section, M.E Thomas speaks of her relationship with children, and how she one day hopes to have children herself. The "they" she is referring to in this quote are her hypothetical children. This quote displays the more empathetic side of Thomas, and makes her appear less "evil" or "sociopathic". She worries that if her children were sociopathic like her, they would not be accepted in todays world. She would want them to accept themselves for who they are, and disregard all those who believe they are "evil". The use of the phrase "underground" is an example of figurative language. She doesn't literally mean that her children would go underground, but rather they would go into hiding, because they could not find acceptance on the "ground level" of the world. Her use of a question in this quote gets readers thinking, as both her and readers truly have no idea if her children would be outsiders or outcasts. This is useful when it comes to engaging the readers in the text.

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"It hasn't been that way for me, and I think my parents have had so much t do with that, even if their methods seem draconian or aspects of their personalities seem harmful." (page 286)

Draconian: (adj) (of laws or their appliance) excessively harsh or severe
Example:  During World War II, the German soldiers were draconian when applying punishments to their prisoners.

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"I want people like me to know they aren't alone. And I want everyone else to know that I'm a natural human variant. I want to take off the mask, but not until I change the world to make it a safer place for me." (page 302)

This quote is the last line of the book, and reveals the importance of the cover image. The cover image of this book is a mask of a female. The women has very pretty features, but does not have any eyes. This is significant to this quote because M.E Thomas feels as if she has been wearing a mask her entire life, showing few people who she really is. She states in this quote that she is ready to "take off the mask," referring to her want to show people who she really is.  Thomas's statement about how the world is not safe for her to expose herself yet is also important. It reveals that the world lacks emotion when dealing with sociopaths, which truly is ironic because sociopaths are the humans that are not supposed to have emotions. The use of the words "natural" and "variant" are significant in this quote because when using "natural" Thomas recognize the idea that sociopaths are not some sort of monster or different specie. However, she also uses the word "variant," which displays that Thomas does recognize her differences compared to those considered "normal". Overall, this quote provided a good wrap-up to the book, and explains Thomas's hesitation in telling her story.

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"Historically, the diagnosis for sociopathy has in many ways served as an amalgam of miscellaneous reprobate traits, a depository for wayward, antisocial behavior from which its members can be identified and separated from everyone else." (page 295)

Amalgam: (noun) a mixture or blend
Example: The club was an amalgam of all kids in the school; athletes, nerds, artists, and many more.