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Anti-Bullying Alliance definition of bullying

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To ensure we are able to prevent bullying, act quickly when it takes place and avoid misidentifying bullying, it is vital that schools and other settings have a shared definition of bullying.

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To ensure we are able to prevent bullying, act quickly when it takes place and avoid misidentifying bullying, it is vital that schools and other settings have a shared definition of bullying.

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Bullying can affect everyone-those who are bullied, those who bully, and those who witness bullying. Bullying is linked to many negative outcomes including impacts on mental health, substance use, and suicide. It is important to talk to kids to determine whether bullying-or something else-is a concern.

Kids Who are Bullied

Kids who are bullied can experience negative physical, social, emotional, academic, and mental health issues. Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience:

Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. These issues may persist into adulthood.

Health complaints

Decreased academic achievement-GPA and standardized test scores-and school participation. They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school.

A very small number of bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent measures. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied.

Kids Who Bully Others

Kids who bully others can also engage in violent and other risky behaviors into adulthood. Kids who bully are more likely to:

Abuse alcohol and other drugs in adolescence and as adults

Get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school

Engage in early sexual activity

Have criminal convictions and traffic citations as adults

Be abusive toward their romantic partners, spouses, or children as adults

Bystanders

Kids who witness bullying are more likely to:

Have increased use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs

Have increased mental health problems, including depression and anxiety

Miss or skip school

The Relationship between Bullying and Suicide

Media reports often link bullying with suicide. However, most youth who are bullied do not have thoughts of suicide or engage in suicidal behaviors.

Although kids who are bullied are at risk of suicide, bullying alone is not the cause. Many issues contribute to suicide risk, including depression, problems at home, and trauma history. Additionally, specific groups have an increased risk of suicide, including American Indian and Alaskan Native, Asian American, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth. This risk can be increased further when these kids are not supported by parents, peers, and schools. Bullying can make an unsupportive situation worse.

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Bullying can affect everyone-those who are bullied, those who bully, and those who witness bullying. Bullying is linked to many negative outcomes including impacts on mental health, substance use, and suicide. It is important to talk to kids to determine whether bullying-or something else-is a concern.

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Parents are usually very protective of their children so if their child comes home complaining of being bullied it's not surprising that they're concerned. They may be very upset and storm into school demanding to know what you are going to do about the problem.

We advise parents not to do that because if they were not aware of the problem the class teacher or head of year was probably not aware of it either. You can read the advice we give to parents here.

If after hearing a brief outline of the complaint, it's not convenient for you to discuss the matter, ask the parent to come back to see you at another time when you can talk about it in more detail. Parents are sometimes unclear themselves about what's been going on, particularly in the case of a younger child.

You may want to ask questions like:

How long has the bullying been going on?

What has been happening

Where is it happening

Who was involved?

Were other pupils around at the time?

How is it affecting the child?

Did the child tell a teacher or any other adult?

If this is the first you've heard of the problem then explain to the parent that it's probably going to take you a few days to get to the bottom of it and suggest another meeting later in the week. Ask the parent to keep a diary, or to get an older child to keep their own diary of what goes on and who witnesses it. Give the parents a copy of the school bullying policy.

Although the parent has told you what's been going on you really need to hear from the pupil who was the target of bullying. Explain to the parents that you are taking the problem seriously and that you will investigate, report back to them within an agreed timescale and that you will either use sanctions like a warning or detention for minor misdemeanours or that in serious cases you will refer the complaint to the senior management team who have the power to temporarily or permanently exclude.

You need to interview

the pupil

bystanders who were named as being present

other staff, learning support assistants and playground supervisors

the pupil accused of bullying

other pupils who are not particular friends of either child

Much bullying is by friends or ex-friends and if it persists could be dealt with by separating the pupils onto different tables if they're at infants or primary school.

In a secondary school pupils could be transferred to different sets. However, it's not appropriate to remove a bullied pupil to another form, it would be better to move the bully. Neither is it appropriate to keep a bullied pupil in at break for their own safety. The bully should be the one to have their free time curtailed.

It's vital to keep parents informed of the action you are taking. There's nothing more frustrating or upsetting for a parent than to wait by the phone for a promised call which never comes or to have letters ignored. This often leads to the problem escalating to the point where children are removed from school. When setting a timescale for investigating a bullying complaint be realistic and take into account your other commitments.

It's always best to keep written notes of the conversation between you and the parent and to put those on the pupil's file so there is an accurate record of what you were told and the action you have taken. This not only stops misunderstandings at a later date but also protects you from accusations that you were told about bullying but didn't take any action.

Abusive parents

Sometimes parents may become aggressive or abusive. Politely excuse yourself and find a member of the senior management team to sit with you. If you can't do that then bring the meeting to a close and ask the parent to put their complaint in writing or make an appointment to see the head teacher.

Make immediate notes about what took place and pass them on to the head teacher. It's unacceptable for parents to behave in a threatening way and they can be barred from the premises.The police should be informed of threats or abuse.

Sometimes parents have unrealistic expectations

They expect pupils who bully their child to be expelled. They won't be pleased when you explain that this is unlikely to happen but they do need to know that exclusion is a process governed by rules and how the system operates.

Head teacher

Many of the parents who contact Bullying UK have already dealt with the classroom teacher or the head of year and they're unhappy that the problem hasn't been sorted out. We suggest that they write to the head teacher explaining what's been going on and to ask what strategy you can introduce to resolve the problem.

This is not meant to be confrontational but when parents have failed to get a problem resolved at a lower level they need to be assured that it will be taken seriously by the head teacher. Parents often report back that they are delighted with the head teacher's response but unfortunately many heads deny the pupil is being bullied, deny there is bullying in the school at all and parents get fed up with writing repeated letters of complaint about the same bullying issue.

In those circumstances the complaint is likely to escalate to the governors, the LEA and Secretary of State. If pupils are off school for a time they may lose their confidence and find it difficult to contemplate returning to class.

Ways to help them could include

To find them a buddy

To give them a teacher to report to if they feel under pressure

To arrange a phased return to school

To find them things to do at break and lunchtime so they are not alone

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Advice for schools on working with parents of a bullied child

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Parents are usually very protective of their children so if their child comes home complaining of being bullied it's not surprising that they're concerned. They may be very upset and storm into school demanding to know what you are going to do about the problem.

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You should report bullying to your school in the first place - or someone you trust if it happens outside school, for example in a club or online.

Tell the police if the bullying involves a crime.

Schools - reporting bullying

School staff will deal with bullying in different ways, depending on how serious the bullying is.

They might deal with it in school, for example by disciplining bullies, or they might report it to the police or social services.

Any discipline must take account of special educational needs or disabilities that the pupils involved may have.

You can complain about a school if you think it hasn't dealt with your concerns.

Police - reporting bullying

Anyone can make a complaint to the police about bullying but it's usually a good idea to speak to your school first.

If you're reporting cyberbullying, keep a record of the date and time of the calls, emails or texts - don't delete any messages you receive.

Call 999 if you or someone else is in immediate danger.

Where to get help and advice

There are lots of organisations that provide support and advice if you're worried about bullying:

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You should report bullying to your school in the first place - or someone you trust if it happens outside school, for example in a club or online. Tell the police if the bullying involves a crime. School staff will deal with bullying in different ways, depending on how serious the bullying is.

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There are many different types of bullying that can be experienced by children and adults alike, some are obvious to spot while others can be more subtle. The different types of bullying that we look at below are some of the ways that bullying could be happening.

Physical bullying

Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching and pushing or damaging property. Physical bullying causes both short term and long term damage.

Verbal bullying

Verbal bulling includes name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, homophobic or racist remarks, or verbal abuse. While verbal bullying can start off harmless, it can escalate to levels which start affecting the individual target.

Social bullying

Social bullying, sometimes referred to as covert bullying, is often harder to recognise and can be carried out behind the bullied person's back. It is designed to harm someone's social reputation and / or cause humiliation.

Social bullying can include:

lying and spreading rumours

negative facial or physical gestures, menacing or contemptuous looks

playing nasty jokes to embarrass and humiliate

mimicking unkindly

encouraging others to social exclude someone

damaging someone's social reputation or social acceptance.

Cyber bullying

The Cyber Bullying Research Centre defines cyber bullying as: Intentional and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, phones, and other electronic devices.

Cyber bullying can be overt or covert bullying behaviours using digital technologies including hardware such as computers and smartphones, and software such as social media, instant messaging, texts, websites and other online platforms.

Cyber bullying can happen at any time. It can be in public or in private and sometimes only known to the target and the person bullying.

Cyber bullying can include:

abusive or hurtful texts, emails or posts, images or videos

deliberately excluding others online

nasty gossip or rumours

imitating others online or using their log-in.

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Types of bullying - National Center Against Bullying

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There are many different types of bullying that can be experienced by children and adults alike, some are obvious to spot while others can be more subtle. The different types of bullying that we look at below are some of the ways that bullying could be happening.