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Xiao Qian and Tan Ching

Dear CEO of you tiao man,

Good morning, I am Sally Wong from the organisation Sparkletots, an audience of the show where you tiao man was featured. I am writing this letter to you as I was concerned about the hygiene  when I saw you tiao man making the food with bare hands.

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May I ask why a member of your staff was not wearing gloves while handling the dough >:’(

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I wish to enquire the reason for why one of your staff not wearing any gloves while kneading the dough.

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Question 2
May I inquire the reason behind why gloves were not worn by one of your staff while kneading the dough.

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May I inquire on the reason why one of your employees were not equipped with gloves whilst handling dough
:/

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Q3

Error/mistake:
- tone of the sentence was impolite
- punctuation used was inappropriate

Corrected sentence:
I think that your standard of hygiene can be improved.

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Why was one of your staff not wearing gloves while kneading the dough??

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Dear Sir,
Good morning/afternoon, my name is______ from Sparkletots.
I am writing to you as I am curious about the level of hygiene in your store.

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Dear Sir,
Very curious about the matter

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i would like to know why gloves were not worn by one of your staff members while they were kneading the dough?

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Question 1
Dear Sir/Madam
Good morning I am _____ from sparkletots. I am writing to you to enquire about the hygiene of your food.

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Why was one of your staff not wearing gloves while kneading the dough??

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Q3:
This shows that your standard of hygiene could be improved.

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This shows that your standard of hygiene is terrible!

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Q1
Dear Sir,
I am a staff member from the organisation Sparkletots. I am writing this email to inquire and understand about certain concerns of the hygiene of your store.

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I think you should do better by getting your staff to wear gloves.

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I would like to inquire and understand why gloves were not used when one of the staff was kneading the dough.

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With all due respect, I feel that the standard of hygiene of making the You Tiao is not very ideal.

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Error / mistake: The tone is too imposing and commanding, it addressed the person/company directly instead of a third person point of view, vocabulary usage is not of adequate level which causes the register to be informal, no reason is stated for their suggestion.

Corrected sentence: I would like to suggest that the employees of your establishment wear gloves when doing tasks where hygiene is of concern.

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Qns 3 Ivan, lexz my man, yi en, Jing shenG

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Qns 3 Ivan, lexz my man, yi en, Jing shenG

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I would like to believe that You Tiao Man has held a high standard of hygiene in their business. However what I have witnessed has shown otherwise, as such, I would like to clarify this issue of hygiene standards.

-sparkletots preschool

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I suggest that it would be more ideal for your staff to wear gloves while preparing the food to ensure better food hygiene.

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Suggestion with an appropriate tone & register