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YOU SHOULD READ OR WATCH THE CLIPS YOU ADD HERE!!! YOU WILL NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE INCLUDING SO YOUR WRITTEN ASSESSMENT IS STRONGER!!!

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"quote here" - from his speech about....

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USE THE COG/WIDGET FOR UTILITY CHANGES. TOP RIGHT CORNER...

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To add something new, you can either double-click on the field, or you can use the + button down in the bottom right corner.

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AUDIO FILE Of the book being read!

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The Great Gatsby - Chapter 1 (Audio Book)

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Uploaded by Bringing Books to Life on 2016-07-19.

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HEADLINES from the TIME are a GREAT idea!!

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watch out for the naughty words :)

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The Great Gatsby - Thug Notes Summary and Analysis

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In this space, you can add your own comments or quotes, etc.

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american dream..

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Samantha Archual

Nation! I just finished reading Stephen Colbert's book and I liked it, therefore, I think YOU should like it too. So, to convince you, here is a sneak-peek at approximately 1% of the funniness contained within the 240-pages of the hardback covers of Colbert's America Again, Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't (which you can order here, here, and here -an excellent gift for this holiday season!).

Seriously, the tone alone of this book is so spot-on and contagious, I think it might be affecting the tone of my writing... Nation! You know every great book needs a great spokesblogger so this is where your reading should begin, with flash segments on the greatness of this book, chapter by chapter:

Before you can begin reading, it's clear you MUST agree to the book's Terms and Conditions before "installing the book into your brain". Proceed as directed:

Finally! Terms and Conditions that are so funny you'll actually read them...Don't believe me? Well, SNEAK-PEEK!

Ha... ha... ha. Let's proceed to page 12.

As Colbert explains, the inspiration for the title of this chapter actually came from the one and only Newt Gingrich:

But, Newt, wasn't the phrase "American Exceptionalism" actually coined by Joseph Stalin? Colbert says it was... truth-punch!:

"So just who came up with the term "America Exceptionalism"? Well, as you might guess, such a wholesome, all American concept was invented by a regular Joe...seph Stalin."

Aha! Told you so. Meanwhile, if you're dying to learn how Stalin coined the term-this book doesn't give it all away on the first date-you have to opt in to the product! That's right, buy it. Treat his caliber of thought with some respect. Like I did here, by photographing it for posterity.

Truly, the entire book is funny, right down to the footnotes:

Moving on to...

Now when Colbert says "American Jobs," he's not talking about American workers. Let's make that clear.

"American workers are a dime a dozen. Or they were until they unionized."

He goes on to explain, and explain more, how there are two types of people on this planet:

"I'll explain. There are two types of people on this planet. I'll explain more. Type one is the Job Creators: self-sufficient, self-motivated egotists, who produce works of industry, art, philosophy, and punditry, not for other's enjoyment but as an end in themselves. Yes, that was so important I underlined the period."

And the other...

Here, Colbert really hits the nail on the head:

"Americans are drowning in a sea of regulations-or at least we would be drowning, if Big Government didn't force us to wear life jackets."

In this chapter Colbert reminds us of all of the astonishing medical marvels we have accomplished over years of hard-earned American independence!

And for those of you who can't afford healthcare, which, when this book was released in October 2012, was probably a lot of you, Colbert was gracious enough to provide a list of effective alternative medicines for your benefit, such as:

Colon hydrotherapy

Cleansing (" [it] combines all the fun of laxatives with the gnawing delirium of gradual starvation.")

Chromotherapy

Ear Candling (wax in, wax out)

Aromatherapy

Chiropractic Medicine

Crystal Healing (it can make your headache disappear!)

Tap Water Therapy (of course! 8 glasses a day of the elixir of life, how could that not work?)

I'll let Stephen introduce this one:

"If the Occupy Wall Street had one message it was 'MY EYES! IT'S BURNING MY EYES!' But the second message was, 'We are the 99%' Well I'm sorry folks, but that's CLASS WARFARE!"

First of all, Wall Street guys are extremely important. I mean, without them we might have never had that wonderful 2008 economic recession! But, shockingly, some people hate them just for that reason. Colbert comes to their defense:

"Wall Street guys get the most money because they work right next to the money. Every dollar in the world flows right through their offices so, naturally, they get first dibs on dipping their ladles in the stream. It's only fair."

After all, as Stephen says: "Wall Streeters are the heart-they do all the work."

Plus, he even ends the debate (!!), by proving that the poor are really the ones who caused the housing market bubble to pop.

Seriously, folks, this book goes so in-depth, it even makes sense of how hedge funds work:

And, with this astonishing analogy, Colbert explains why regulation sucks!

"It's like when you're trying to pee-if there's somebody watching you, it's hard to do. Just let the Free Market pee, and it will trickle down and warm everybody."

Energy = Jobs!

Colbert is for an "All of the Above" approach to energy..."as long as it includes none of the below":

Sounds a lot like something an oil and gas lobbyist would argue for, don't you think?

This chapter talks about the many notable perks of allowing money to finally have its say in politics.

"Now, the politically naive might ask, 'Doesn't unlimited corporate and union money have the potential to corrupt our electoral system?'"

BOOM! It doesn't. You're wrong.

"No weapon at (the police forces') disposal is more effective than the power of psychology."
Good Cop, Bad Cop! Here we go...

Maybe you'll have to buy the book to find out what Bad Cop has to say. CLIFF-HANGER! Just like good cop/bad cop, cliff-hangers work every time.

Corn is in everything we eat!

Okay, okay. Don't bully me, Daniel.

Fact:

"As we all know, you are what you eat. And, I'm proud to say the Americans are the tastiest, crispiest, saltiest, most thoroughly processed corn-based people on Earth."

The rest of the specific celebrities Stephen Colbert would eat if someone put a gun to his head can be found on page 210 of this book that you're inevitably going to purchase. Really, it's more of a nutrition guide. A catalog of sorts. Just read it.

Here is a list of SOME of Stephen Colbert's ingeniously simple solutions to how we can re-become the greatness we never weren't:

Raise retirement age to "decomposition"

Open some good old-fashioned lemonade stands. And by "lemonade" I mean prostitution.

Cutting Taxes

No minimum wage

Wait for our national debt to show up on Groupon at a massive discount

Ooh, I know! Tax cuts!

Sorry folks, but what happens in this chapter, stays in this chapter.

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Inside look at Stephen Colbert's must-buy/read: 'America Again, Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't'

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Nation! I just finished reading Stephen Colbert's book and I liked it, therefore, I think YOU should like it too. So, to convince you, here is a sneak-peek at approximately 1% of the funniness contained within the 240-pages of the hardback covers of Colbert's America Again, Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't (which you can orderContinue reading...

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written component can go here... asdlfjasd;jfs;fjsfd

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A Legal Immigrant’s American Dream

It’s hard not to see amnesty for illegal immigrants as a betrayal of all those who were denied legal entry.

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In The Wall Street Journal, Onuora Amobi writes that it's hard not to see amnesty for illegal immigrants as a betrayal of all those who were denied legal entry.

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Dreamz With A Z lyrics:
They came on boats from across the sea
From faraway places and far distant lands
And still they come to a place where they're free
They fly in on planes with hope in their hands

Sometimes it feels like we're stuffed to the seams
But it's everyone's God given right to follow their dreams

My American Dream
Will come true for me
My American Dream
For all to see
Every woman and man has their own destiny
To dream American Dreams
Dreamz with a z.
To dream American Dreams
Dreamz with a z

This Is My Now Lyrics:
There was a time I packed my dreams away.
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.

There was a time when I was so afraid.
I thought I'd reached the end,
But baby that was then
I am made of more than my yesterdays.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around
I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

I have to decide,
Was I gonna to play it safe.
Or look somewhere deep in side,
Try to turn the tide,
And find the strength to take that step of faith.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around
I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

And I have the courage like never before, yeah.
I've settled for less now I'm ready for more,
Ready for more.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

I'm living in the moment
I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.
This is my now.

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a book about the American Dream...and its failure