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The Power of "Trimtabs": What Bucky Fuller Taught Me About Human Greatness

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The Power of "Trimtabs": What Bucky Fuller Taught Me About Human Greatness

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Huffington Post

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What sparks human greatness? I believe it arises the moment we stop believing we are powerless and start trusting that while we may only be a single individual, we have within us the power to change the world. Allow me to clarify. In the early 1980's I had the privilege of working with Buckminster Fuller as his event producer. "Bucky" as he liked to be called was the inventor of the geodesic dome and was one of the world's greatest thought leaders. Thousands of people gathered in auditoriums around the country to hear him address the question, "How can a single individual make a difference in the world?"

At those events, Bucky told a story of when the Navy commissioned him to solve a critical engineering problem at the height of World War II. As the war raged on the high seas ever-larger battle ships were needed to seize the advantage. As these "great ships of state" as Bucky called them grew in size, their steering mechanisms required more power to turn their rudders than their engines could produce. His revolutionary invention not only solved this crucial military problem it created a new paradigm for human greatness.

Bucky's invention was called a "Trimtab," a small six-inch wide strip of metal attached by hinges to the trailing edge of a ship's rudder. As an engine's hydraulics force the Trimtab into the path of oncoming water, the pressure generated against it assists the rudder in making its turn. Next, Bucky posed that like this tiny sliver of metal can alter the course of a great ship of state, you and I as little individuals can change the course of humanity.

This can be an unrealistic concept, especially when we are feeling small or inadequate. I remember an pivotal interaction with Bucky just prior to the start of an event, my biggest production ever. I was overwhelmed and everything that could go wrong, was going wrong. I recall blurting out these words..."Bucky, I'm failing! I can't do it...it's impossible!" I'll never forget what he said. "VJ, you're correct that the impossible can't happen. But what about the possible? And perhaps a more important question...Who determines what is possible and what is not?"

I let it sink in for a moment and then I got it! If I kept believing it was impossible and I was incapable, I would never succeed. Without believing in myself enough to say "it is possible and I can do it," I was destined to fail. To finish the story, I did say it was possible that day and it was my best production ever! So how does one become a Trimtab? By assimilating its qualities and characteristics. Let's explore some of them.

A Trimtab moves directly into the currents that oppose it. It actually uses opposition, adversity, and resistance to accomplish its goal. A Trimtab relies on the forces pressing against it to leverage its power. Using opposition in this way is uncommon yet extremely powerful. A few questions now...How do you engage with opposition? What new possibilities might arise if you shift your mindset to embracing resistance instead of fighting it or ignoring it?

A Trimtab remains straight and true when the pressure is on to go with the flow. Its composition must be durable enough to withstand extreme opposition. Tin or copper is insufficient but titanium better meets the challenge. How strong is your resolve? Can you stay true to your convictions in the face of pressure or when others shun or judge you harshly? A Trimtab stays firmly connected to its rudder even in the roughest of seas.

A Trimtab engages in a full range of movement. Although its composition is rigid, its hinges are flexible and it is this freedom of movement that gives a Trimtab its true power. If it were welded solidly to one side of the rudder it would paralyze the ship and cause it to travel in predictable circles. Our rigidity and unwillingness to engage in a wide expanse of emotional experiences is like this and limits our growth and restricts our power.

We've been taught that we are too fragile to deal with intense pain or suffering; as if we are incapable of experiencing life's full-on challenge. Are you willing to engage in challenging conversations? What about being flexible enough to open to both pain and joy? Love and loss? Sweetness and sorrow? Is there not value in stretching into both ends of life's continuum?

Being a Trimtab is not for the faint of heart, but for those who realize that the fear of failing is less important than the possibility of making a difference. If just one single person has the power to change the world as Bucky suggested, what might we accomplish together if we stopped empowering the impossible and started making the possible happen?

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The Power of "Trimtabs": What Bucky Fuller Taught Me About Human Greatness

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What sparks human greatness? I believe it arises the moment we stop believing we are powerless and start trusting that while we may only be a single individual, we have within us the power to change the world. Allow me to clarify.

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Mindful Schools

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Are you looking for mindfulness research and resources to help parents, staff, and administrators understand the impact of this work? Share this research page with your principal, PTA, or peers to help make the case for mindfulness in schools.

This page summarizes research on the benefits of mindfulness, including neuroscience, latest scientific studies, and specific benefits for educators and students. It also includes research studies on the Mindful Schools curriculum and the benefits for our course graduates and the students they serve.

The Benefits of Mindfulness

Scholarly research finds that mindfulness practice decreases stress and anxiety, increases attention, improves interpersonal relationships, strengthens compassion, and confers a host of other benefits. Below is a summary of research findings on the benefits of mindfulness particularly relevant to educators.

Improved Attention

Numerous studies show improved attention 1, including better performance on objective tasks that require an extensive concentration span2.

Emotional Regulation

Mindfulness is associated with emotion regulation across a number of studies3. Mindfulness creates changes in the brain that correspond to less reactivity 4, and better ability to engage in tasks even when emotions are activated5.

Greater Compassion

People randomly assigned to mindfulness training are more likely to help someone in need6 and have greater self-compassion.7

Reduction of Stress and Anxiety

Mindfulness reduces feelings of stress8 and improves anxiety and distress when placed in a stressful social situation.9

The Benefits of Mindfulness in Education

Research shows that stressed teachers impact students' stress levels and student stress impacts learning outcomes. Students learn better in a climate that is more emotionally positive. Studies have demonstrated a link between positive emotional classroom climates and academic achievement.

Benefits for Educators

When teachers learn mindfulness, they not only reap personal benefits such as reduced stress and burnout15 but their schools do as well. In randomized controlled trials, teachers who learned mindfulness experienced:

Reduced stress and burnout ¹⁵

Greater efficacy in doing their jobs 16

More emotionally supportive classrooms 17

Better classroom organization 18

Benefits for Students

Studies find that youth benefit from learning mindfulness in terms of improved cognitive outcomes, social-emotional skills, and well being. In turn, such benefits may lead to long-term improvements in life. For example, social skills in kindergarten predict improved education, employment, crime, substance abuse and mental health outcomes in adulthood19. Research finds that youth who practice mindfulness can develop:

Attention & Learning Skills

Attention & focus20

Cognitive development21

Social & Emotional Skills

Behavior in school22

Empathy & perspective taking23

Social-skills24

Resilience

Emotional regulation25

Reduced anxiety26 & stress27

Post-traumatic symptoms28

Depression29

Our Results: Mindful Schools Research Study

In the 2011-12 school year, Mindful Schools researchers partnered with the University of California, Davis to conduct one of the largest randomized-controlled studies to date on mindfulness and children, The study involved 937 children and 47 teachers in three Oakland public elementary schools.

The Mindful Schools curriculum (taught to educators through our Mindful Educator Essentials course) produced statistically significant improvements in paying attention and participation in class activities versus the control group with just four hours of mindfulness instruction for the students-a very small, low-cost dose. Further instruction through our training courses could produce even more benefits.
More details about the Mindful Schools study.
Additional Research: Mindful Schools curriculum reduces depressive symptoms

A 2010 pilot study30 found that the Mindful Schools elementary-grades curriculum reduced depressive symptoms among minority children. Researchers randomized eighteen minority children at a summer camp to either mindfulness or health education. Children were ages 8-11. 64% were from Caribbean and Central American countries. An instructor led ten 15-minute lessons from the Mindful Schools curriculum. The mindfulness group showed significantly more reduction in depressive symptoms than the control group. Anxiety results were in the same direction but not significant (p=.07).

The researchers concluded that the results "show promise for the use of mindfulness to decrease particularly depressive symptoms in minority children. In addition, there is evidence that a larger sample size might enable distinction between the groups for anxiety symptoms." They also praised the Mindful Schools curriculum, noting that children "engaged completely in the activities" of the curriculum.

Further Reading

1 Chiesa, A., & Serretti, A. (2009). Mindfulness-based stress reduction for stress management in healthy people: a review and meta-analysis. The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 15(5), 593-600.

Sedlmeier, P., Eberth, J., Schwarz, M., Zimmermann, D., Haarig, F., Jaeger, S., & Kunze, S. (2012). The psychological effects of meditation: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 138(6), 1139.

2 Jha, A. P., Krompinger, J., & Baime, M. J. (2007). Mindfulness training modifies subsystems of attention. Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience, 7(2), 109-119.

3 Roemer, L., Williston, S. K., & Rollins, L. G. (2015). Mindfulness and emotion regulation. Current Opinion in Psychology, 3, 52-57.

4 Goldin, P. R., & Gross, J. J. (2010). Effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) on emotion regulation in social anxiety disorder. Emotion, 10(1), 83.

5 Ortner, C. N., Kilner, S. J., & Zelazo, P. D. (2007). Mindfulness meditation and reduced emotional interference on a cognitive task. Motivation and Emotion, 31(4), 271-283.

6 Condon, P., Desbordes, G., Miller, W. B., & DeSteno, D. (2013). Meditation increases compassionate responses to suffering. Psychological Science, 24(10), 2125-2127.

7 Birnie, K., Speca, M., & Carlson, L. E. (2010). Exploring self-compassion and empathy in the context of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR). Stress and Health, 26(5), 359-371.

Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A Pilot Study and Randomized Controlled Trial of the Mindful Self-Compassion Program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44.

Shapiro, S. L., Brown, K. W., & Biegel, G. M. (2007). Teaching self-care to caregivers: effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction on the mental health of therapists in training. Training and Education in Professional Psychology, 1(2), 105.

8 Chiesa, A., & Serretti, A. (2009). Mindfulness-based stress reduction for stress management in healthy people: a review and meta-analysis. The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 15(5), 593-600.

Pbert, L., Madison, J. M., Druker, S., Olendzki, N., Magner, R., Reed, G., ... Carmody, J. (2012). Effect of mindfulness training on asthma quality of life and lung function: a randomised controlled trial. Thorax, 67(9), 769-776.

9 Hoge, E. A., Bui, E., Marques, L., Metcalf, C. A., Morris, L. K., Robinaugh, D. J., ... Simon, N. M. (2013). Randomized Controlled Trial of Mindfulness Meditation for Generalized Anxiety Disorder: Effects on Anxiety and Stress Reactivity. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 74(8), 786-792.

10 Lutz, A., Slagter, H. A., Dunne, J. D., & Davidson, R. J. (2008). Attention regulation and monitoring in meditation. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 12(4), 163-169.

Desbordes, G., Negi, L. T., Pace, T. W., Wallace, B. A., Raison, C. L., & Schwartz, E. L. (2012). Effects of mindful-attention and compassion meditation training on amygdala response to emotional stimuli in an ordinary, non-meditative state. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 6.

12 Goldin, P. R., & Gross, J. J. (2010). Effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) on emotion regulation in social anxiety disorder. Emotion, 10(1), 83.

13 Hölzel, B. K., Carmody, J., Vangel, M., Congleton, C., Yerramsetti, S. M., Gard, T., & Lazar, S. W. (2011). Mindfulness practice leads to increases in regional brain gray matter density. Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, 191(1), 36-43.

14 Chiesa, A., & Serretti, A. (2010). A systematic review of neurobiological and clinical features of mindfulness meditations. Psychological Medicine, 40(08), 1239-1252.

15 Zarate, K. Maggin, D. Passmore, A. (2019) Meta‐analysis of mindfulness training on teacher well‐being. Psychology in the Schools, 56(10), 1700-1715.

Flook, L., Goldberg, S. B., Pinger, L., Bonus, K., & Davidson, R. J. (2013). Mindfulness for teachers: A pilot study to assess effects on stress, burnout, and teaching efficacy. Mind, Brain, and Education, 7(3), 182-195.

Jennings, P. A., Frank, J. L., Snowberg, K. E., Coccia, M. A., & Greenberg, M. T. (2013). Improving Classroom Learning Environments by Cultivating Awareness and Resilience in Education (CARE): Results of a Randomized Controlled Trial. School Psychology Quarterly, 28(4), 374-390.

Kemeny, M. E., Foltz, C., Cavanagh, J. F., Cullen, M., Giese-Davis, J., Jennings, P., ... Wallace, B. A. (2012). Contemplative/emotion training reduces negative emotional behavior and promotes prosocial responses. Emotion, 12(2), 338.

Roeser, R., Schonert-Reichl, K. A., Jha, A., Cullen, M., Wallace, L., Wilensky, R., ... Harrison, J. (2013). Mindfulness training and reductions in teacher stress and burnout: Results from two randomized, waitlist-control field trials. Journal of Educational Psychology, 105(3), 787-804.

16 Jennings, P. A., Frank, J. L., Snowberg, K. E., Coccia, M. A., & Greenberg, M. T. (2013). Improving Classroom Learning Environments by Cultivating Awareness and Resilience in Education (CARE): Results of a Randomized Controlled Trial. School Psychology Quarterly, 28(4), 374-390.

Klingbeil, D.A. Renshaw, T.L. (2018). Mindfulness-based interventions for teachers: A meta-analysis of the emerging evidence base. School Psychology Quarterly, 33(4) 501-511.

17 Jennings, P. Doyle, S. Oh, Y. et al. (2019) Long-term impacts of the CARE program on teachers' self-reported social and emotional competence and well-being. Journal of School Psychology, 76, 186-202.

18 Flook, L., Goldberg, S. B., Pinger, L., Bonus, K., & Davidson, R. J. (2013). Mindfulness for teachers: A pilot study to assess effects on stress, burnout, and teaching efficacy. Mind, Brain, and Education, 7(3), 182-195.

19 Jones, D. E., Greenberg, M., & Crowley, M. (2015). Early Social-Emotional Functioning and Public Health: The Relationship Between Kindergarten Social Competence and Future Wellness. American Journal of Public Health, 105(11), 2283-2290.

20 Baijal, S., Jha, A. P., Kiyonaga, A., Singh, R., & Srinivasan, N. (2011). The influence of concentrative meditation training on the development of attention networks during early adolescence. Frontiers in Psychology, 2, 1-9.

Napoli, M., Krech, P. R., & Holley, L. C. (2005). Mindfulness Training for Elementary School Students. Journal of Applied School Psychology, 21(1), 99-125.

Semple, R. J., Lee, J., Rosa, D., & Miller, L. F. (2010). A randomized trial of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for children: promoting mindful attention to enhance social-emotional resiliency in children. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 19(2), 218-229.

21 Schonert-Reichl, K. A., Oberle, E., Lawlor, M. S., Abbott, D., Thomson, K., Oberlander, T. F., & Diamond, A. (2015). Enhancing cognitive and social-emotional development through a simple-to-administer mindfulness-based school program for elementary school children: A randomized controlled trial. Developmental Psychology, 51(1), 52-66.

Sanger, K.L. Dorjee, D. (2016) Mindfulness training with adolescents enhances metacognition and the inhibition of irrelevant stimuli: Evidence from event-related brain potentials.Trends in Neuroscience and Education, 5(1), 1-11.

22 Barnes, V. A., Bauza, L. B., & Treiber, F. A. (2003). Impact of stress reduction on negative school behavior in adolescents. Health and Quality of Life Outcomes, 1(10), 1-7.

Schonert-Reichl, K. A., Oberle, E., Lawlor, M. S., Abbott, D., Thomson, K., Oberlander, T. F., & Diamond, A. (2015). Enhancing cognitive and social-emotional development through a simple-to-administer mindfulness-based school program for elementary school children: A randomized controlled trial. Developmental Psychology, 51(1), 52-66.

Semple, R. J., Lee, J., Rosa, D., & Miller, L. F. (2010). A randomized trial of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for children: promoting mindful attention to enhance social-emotional resiliency in children. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 19(2), 218-229.

23 Cheang, R., Gillions, A. & Sparkes. (2019) Do Mindfulness-Based Interventions Increase Empathy and Compassion in Children and Adolescents: A Systematic Review. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 28(7), 1765-1779.

Schonert-Reichl, K. A., Oberle, E., Lawlor, M. S., Abbott, D., Thomson, K., Oberlander, T. F., & Diamond, A. (2015). Enhancing cognitive and social-emotional development through a simple-to-administer mindfulness-based school program for elementary school children: A randomized controlled trial. Developmental Psychology, 51(1), 52-66.

24 Napoli, M., Krech, P. R., & Holley, L. C. (2005). Mindfulness Training for Elementary School Students. Journal of Applied School Psychology, 21(1), 99-125.

Schonert-Reichl, K. A., Oberle, E., Lawlor, M. S., Abbott, D., Thomson, K., Oberlander, T. F., & Diamond, A. (2015). Enhancing cognitive and social-emotional development through a simple-to-administer mindfulness-based school program for elementary school children: A randomized controlled trial. Developmental Psychology, 51(1), 52-66.

25 Metz, S. M., Frank, J. L., Reibel, D., Cantrell, T., Sanders, R., & Broderick, P. C. (2013). The effectiveness of the learning to BREATHE program on adolescent emotion regulation. Research in Human Development, 10(3), 252-272.

Thieery, K., Bryant, H;, Nobles, S. et al. (2016). Two-Year Impact of a Mindfulness-Based Program on Preschoolers' Self-Regulation and Academic Performance. Early Education and Development, 5(1), 1-11.

26 Etherington, V. Costello, S. (2019) Comparing Universal and Targeted Delivery of a Mindfulness-Based Program for Anxiety in Children. Journal of Psychologists and Counsellors in Schools, 29(1), 22-38.

Marusek, H.A, Elrahal, F., Peters, C.A. (2018) Mindfulness and dynamic functional neural connectivity in children and adolescents.Behavioural Brain Research, 336:211-218.

McKeering, P., Hwang, Y. S. (2019). A systematic review of mindfulness-based school interventions with early adolescents. Mindfulness, 10, 593-610.

Napoli, M., Krech, P. R., & Holley, L. C. (2005). Mindfulness Training for Elementary School Students. Journal of Applied School Psychology, 21(1), 99-125.

27 Barnes, V. A., Davis, H. C., Murzynowski, J. B., & Treiber, F. A. (2004). Impact of meditation on resting and ambulatory blood pressure and heart rate in youth. Psychosomatic Medicine, 66(6), 909-914.

Mendelson, T., Greenberg, M. T., Dariotis, J. K., Gould, L. F., Rhoades, B. L., & Leaf, P. J. (2010). Feasibility and preliminary outcomes of a school-based mindfulness intervention for urban youth. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 38(7), 985-994.

Schonert-Reichl, K. A., Oberle, E., Lawlor, M. S., Abbott, D., Thomson, K., Oberlander, T. F., & Diamond, A. (2015). Enhancing cognitive and social-emotional development through a simple-to-administer mindfulness-based school program for elementary school children: A randomized controlled trial. Developmental Psychology, 51(1), 52-66.

Sibinga, E. M. S., Webb, L., Ghazarian, S. R., & Ellen, J. M. (2016). School-Based Mindfulness Instruction: An RCT. Pediatrics, 137(1), 1-8.

Zenner, C., Herrnleben-Kurz, S., & Walach, H. (2014). Mindfulness-based interventions in schools-a systematic review and meta-analysis. Frontiers in Psychology, 5.

28 Sibinga, E. M. S., Webb, L., Ghazarian, S. R., & Ellen, J. M. (2016). School-Based Mindfulness Instruction: An RCT. Pediatrics, 137(1), 1-8.

29 Raes, F., Griffith, J. W., Van der Gucht, K., & Williams, J. M. G. (2014). School-based prevention and reduction of depression in adolescents: A cluster-randomized controlled trial of a mindfulness group program. Mindfulness, 5(5), 477-486.

Sibinga, E. M. S., Webb, L., Ghazarian, S. R., & Ellen, J. M. (2016). School-Based Mindfulness Instruction: An RCT. Pediatrics, 137(1), 1-8.

30 Liehr, P., & Diaz, N. (2010). A Pilot Study Examining the Effect of Mindfulness on Depression and Anxiety for Minority Children. Archives of Psychiatric Nursing, 24(1), 69-71.

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Are you looking for mindfulness research and resources to help parents, staff, and administrators understand the impact of this work? Share this research page with your principal, PTA, or peers to help make the case for mindfulness in schools. This page summarizes research on the benefits of mindfulness, including neuroscience, latest scientific studies, and specific benefits for educators and students.

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Los Angeles Times

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When the president of the United States says "America first," he is making his voters happy. I can understand that. But from a global perspective, this statement isn't relevant. Everything is interconnected today.

The new reality is that everyone is interdependent with everyone else. The United States is a leading nation of the free world. For this reason, I call on its president to think more about global-level issues. There are no national boundaries for climate protection or the global economy. No religious boundaries, either. The time has come to understand that we are the same human beings on this planet. Whether we want to or not, we must coexist.

History tells us that when people pursue only their own national interests, there is strife and war. This is shortsighted and narrow-minded. It is also unrealistic and outdated. Living together as brothers and sisters is the only way to peace, compassion, mindfulness and more justice.

The time has come to understand that we are the same human beings on this planet. Whether we want to or not, we must coexist.

Religion can to a certain degree help to overcome division. But religion alone will not be enough. Global secular ethics are now more important than the classical religions. We need a global ethic that can accept both believers and nonbelievers, including atheists.

My wish is that, one day, formal education will pay attention to the education of the heart, teaching love, compassion, justice, forgiveness, mindfulness, tolerance and peace. This education is necessary, from kindergarten to secondary schools and universities. I mean social, emotional and ethical learning. We need a worldwide initiative for educating heart and mind in this modern age.

At present our educational systems are oriented mainly toward material values and training one's understanding. But reality teaches us that we do not come to reason through understanding alone. We should place greater emphasis on inner values.

Intolerance leads to hatred and division. Our children should grow up with the idea that dialogue, not violence, is the best and most practical way to solve conflicts. The young generations have a great responsibility to ensure that the world becomes a more peaceful place for all. But this can become reality only if we educate, not just the brain, but also the heart. The educational systems of the future should place greater emphasis on strengthening human abilities, such as warm-heartedness, a sense of oneness, humanity and love.

I see with ever greater clarity that our spiritual well-being depends not on religion, but on our innate human nature - our natural affinity for goodness, compassion and caring for others. Regardless of whether we belong to a religion, we all have a fundamental and profoundly human wellspring of ethics within ourselves. We need to nurture that shared ethical basis.

Ethics, as opposed to religion, are grounded in human nature. Through ethics, we can work on preserving creation. Empathy is the basis of human coexistence. It is my belief that human development relies on cooperation, not competition. Science tells us this.

We must learn that humanity is one big family. We are all brothers and sisters: physically, mentally and emotionally. But we are still focusing far too much on our differences instead of our commonalities. After all, every one of us is born the same way and dies the same way.

The 14 Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, is the spiritual leader of Tibet and a Nobel laureate for peace. He wrote this op-ed with Franz Alt, a television journalist and bestselling author. This piece is adapted from their new book, "An Appeal to the World: The Way to Peace in a Time of Division."

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Dalai Lama: We need an education of the heart

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When the president of the United States says "America first," he is making his voters happy. I can understand that. But from a global perspective, this statement isn't relevant. Everything is interconnected today. The new reality is that everyone is interdependent with everyone else. The United States is a leading nation of the free world.

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Why Self-Compassion Beats Self Confidence

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Why Self-Compassion Beats Self Confidence

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New York Times

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Credit Credit Louise Kennerley/Fairfax Media, via Getty Images

"Be more confident," a friend once told me as we made the rounds at a swanky networking event where I felt terribly out of place. Faking confidence is easy: I pulled my shoulders back and spoke louder and with more assertiveness.

Like many soft-spoken, mild-mannered people, I've spent a great deal of time trying to present myself this way. As it turns out, confidence may be overrated.

"We like confidence because it feels good and gives us a sense of control. The alternative would be constant anxiety," said Eric Barker, author of " Barking Up the Wrong Tree."

We live in a culture that reveres self-confidence and self-assuredness, but as it turns out, there may be a better approach to success and personal development: self-compassion. While self-confidence makes you feel better about your abilities, it can also lead you to vastly overestimate those abilities.

Self-compassion, on the other hand, encourages you to acknowledge your flaws and limitations, allowing you to look at yourself from a more objective and realistic point of view. Both have merits, but many experts believe that self-compassion includes the advantages of self-confidence without the drawbacks.

In his book, Mr. Barker asserts that productivity culture often promotes faking confidence without considering these drawbacks. Namely, when you fake it, you may start to believe your own lie, which can lead to disastrous outcomes.

Because confidence feels good "we often don't notice when it creeps across the line to overconfidence," Mr. Barker said. This is better known as the Dunning-Kruger effect: a cognitive bias in which you overestimate your ability in something.

But this isn't to say you have to go around feeling inadequate. Dr. Kristin Neff, an associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas, suggests a solution to the problem of overconfidence: self-compassion.

"Self-compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness, care and concern you show a loved one," Dr. Neff said. "We need to frame it in terms of humanity. That's what makes self-compassion so different: 'I'm an imperfect human being living an imperfect life.'"

By that definition, self-compassion is the opposite of overconfidence. Admitting we have flaws just like anyone else keeps us connected to others, Dr. Neff said, and also keeps us from exaggerating our flaws or strengths. Unlike overconfidence, which attempts to hide self-doubt and other pessimistic shortcomings, self-compassion accepts them. Self-compassion, Mr. Barker writes, includes the benefits of confidence without the downside of delusion.

"A lot of people think self-compassion is weak, but it's just the opposite," Dr. Neff said. "When you're in the trenches, do you want an enemy or an ally?" Whereas confidence is aimed at feeling adequate and powerful despite how adequate and powerful you actually are, self-compassion encourages you to accept a more objective reality.

For example, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology asked people to describe themselves while being recorded on video. Those subjects were then told they would be rated on how likable, friendly and intelligent they seemed in the video. Subjects who had high levels of self-compassion had generally the same emotional reaction no matter how they were rated. By contrast, people with high levels of self-esteem had negative emotional reactions if the feedback was simply neutral and not exceptional. They were also more likely to blame unexceptional ratings on outside factors.

"In general, these studies suggest that self-compassion attenuates people's reactions to negative events in ways that are distinct from and, in some cases, more beneficial than self-esteem," the researchers concluded.

Without the pressure to be superhuman, it's easier to accept feedback and criticism. It's much harder to learn and improve when you believe you already know everything.

Dr. Neff said resilience may be the most remarkable benefit of self-compassion. In one study, she and her colleagues worked with veterans returning from war in Iraq and Afghanistan. The subjects worked with clinical psychologists who determined that nearly half of the group (42 percent) experienced symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. Using a 26-item self-report questionnaire that included statements like, "I'm tolerant of my own flaws and inadequacies," Dr. Neff and her colleagues rated subjects' level of self-compassion. The study concluded that the more self-compassionate veterans were, the less severe their PTSD symptoms were.

Dr. Neff added that self-compassionate people also tend to ruminate less because they can "break the cycle of negativity" by accepting their own imperfections.

Still, of course, there are many benefits to being confident, even if it's a put-on. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that simply appearing more confident makes people believe you deserve more respect and admiration, possibly helping you reach higher social status. Another study published in Plos One found that when people are overconfident, others overrate them as smarter and more skilled. In other words, there's something to the "fake it until you make it" phenomenon.

But self-compassion and acceptance can offer a whole suite of other benefits: It's easier for self-compassionate people to improve on those mistakes, failures or shortcomings because they view them more objectively. Research shows self-compassion is an effective motivator in this way.

Self-compassionate people are better at owning up to their mistakes. Juliana Breines and Serena Chen of the University of California at Berkeley conducted a series of experiments to measure the effect of self-compassion on personal growth. In one study, they asked people to think about something they've done that made them feel guilty (lying to a partner, for example). From there, subjects were assigned to a group: self-compassion, self-esteem control or positive distraction control. The self-compassion group had to write to themselves "from a compassionate and understanding perspective."

The self-esteem group was instructed to write about their own positive qualities, and the positive distraction group was asked to write about a hobby they enjoyed. According to the study, those who practiced self-compassion were more motivated to admit and apologize for their mistake than people in the self-esteem group or positive distraction group. The self-compassion group was also more committed to not repeating their mistakes.

What's more, self-compassion has been shown to help people better empathize with others. Dr. Neff and her colleague, Tasha Beretvas at the University of Texas at Austin, have found that people rate self-compassionate partners as more caring and supportive than self-critical ones. So if your partner points out a flaw, you'll do better to accept it and forgive yourself than beat yourself up and dwell on it.

Pulling your shoulders back is easy. Learning to be kind to yourself takes considerably more effort. In his book, Mr. Barker suggests a few ways to embrace self-compassion: Accept that you're human, recognize your failures and frustrations, and avoid dwelling on mistakes.

"The first and most important thing to do is to notice that voice in your head - that running commentary we all have as we go about our lives," Mr. Barker said. "Often that voice is way too critical. You beat yourself up for every perceived mistake. To be more self-compassionate, you need to notice that voice and correct it."

That doesn't mean lying to yourself, Mr. Barker says, but rather changing the way you talk to yourself. It may help to imagine the way a loved one would talk to you about your mistakes, then switch that voice out for a more supportive one. Keep in mind, however, that the harsh critic in your head is not your enemy. This is a common misconception that can make things worse, Dr. Neff said, because that voice is a survival mechanism that's intended to keep you safe.

"Don't beat yourself up for beating yourself up," she said. "We just need to learn to make friends with our inner critic."

Kristin Wong is a freelance writer and the author of " Get Money."

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"Be more confident," a friend once told me as we made the rounds at a swanky networking event where I felt terribly out of place. Faking confidence is easy: I pulled my shoulders back and spoke louder and with more assertiveness. Like many soft-spoken, mild-mannered people, I've spent a great deal of time trying to present myself this way.